The Flop House - Ep.#413 - Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

Episode Date: January 13, 2024

Zack Snyder, we just can't seem to quit you. Not out of any particular affection, but because you just won't stop making movies. This one (technically) qualifies. We talk about Star W-- sorry, "Rebel ...Moon."Want to see our faces? Check out our season of streaming shows, FLOP TV, or get tickets for a stop on our January 2024 West Coast Tour.Wikipedia page for Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of FireRecommended in this episode:Caine Mutiny Court Martial (2023)Anatomy of a Fall (2023)You Are Not I (1981)

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, floppers. Before we start our regular nonsense, we wanted to make sure you knew the flop house is going on a four-city west coast tour this January. It's the flop house Errors tour, the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year, probably. You can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theatre. In Portland, on Thursday, January 25th at the Aladdin Theatre in San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco Sketchfest and in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theatre. For tickets, go to flopphousepodcast.com slash events. Again, that's flopphousepodcast.com slash events.
Starting point is 00:00:39 The flopphouse live is like the podcast, but you can smell us. And now, without further ado, a regular nonsense. On this episode we discuss, Rebel Moon Part One, a child of fire. More like seven Shamu-ray, am I right? Like Shamu, the killer whales? The popular whales? Yes, Shamu.
Starting point is 00:01:01 You know what I'm saying. Come on. Shamu? It was a hot one. It was it was a hot one guys It was a hot one and you chilled it out Come on champagne no, you know Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaelin. The original child of fire himself, Elliott Kaelin.
Starting point is 00:01:51 You know it. You know it. I mean, I don't want to get into things too far ahead. Yes, I was born of flame. I was born in flames. Yes, like a Phoenix. You show is, but the child of fire, I guess, is the main lady because of how the war did the thing. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Yeah, so the child of fire, I'm not sure if it's Korra, the, or if it is the princess was the power to bring dead things back to life that we put in one aspect. Basically nothing about it at this point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:25 We know she's fucking magic, dude, I mean, names of the movie after the character we see in one scene, basically, it is. I mean, that's the tightest grown, the first volume of Gorman guest is named after a character who appears as a
Starting point is 00:02:36 baby. That's near the end of the movie. Well, tightest grown. Yeah. If Merman Peek could get away with it in his Gorman guest trilogy, then Zack Snyder can do it in the Rebel Moon series. Okay, well, this isn't a Gorman guest trilogy podcast. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I wish it was. And then we talk about it. And in this case, we watched, we returned to one of, you know, the flop houses hitmaker. Who's, wait, there was an estimate that said Zack Snyder who we talked about yeah, that's right. He's done so many of them um and Yeah, this is his his
Starting point is 00:03:15 So he's been in the DC universe for a long time when he last saw Zack Snyder He was treating the justice league with the same level of somber sex-nighter, he was treating the justice league with the same level of somber, serious depression that he would treat, say, a major natural disaster or a genocide. And everyone was excited. They're like, what will Zack Snyder do when he's freed from having to do pre-existing IP and it turns out he walked into Star Wars studios and was like, I want to make seven samurai in space. Well, and they was like, I want to make Seven Samurai in space. And they're like, no.
Starting point is 00:03:48 That is what happened. That is the backstory of this. Exactly what happened. He wanted to do a Star Wars version of Seven Samurai for a long time. And they, you know, I don't know how far down that road it went, but there was a lot. It sounds like it went very short down the road. It sounds like it was up in. And so he's like, fine, I'll just make my own star war.
Starting point is 00:04:07 And he changed. He's very little. I mean, which is how things happen sometimes? Like there's any number of comic book series that start out as one thing as a pitch for a preexisting character and then become their own thing, but they usually do a little bit more of a job. He's like the Leaven television show Halt and Catch Fire started out as a fucking Madman spec script or some shit, right?
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yeah, something like that. And beloved, uh, Link material, 50 shades of gray started out as Twilight fan fiction. Exactly. But usually they go a little bit farther in, in changing it. Like for instance, 50 shades of gray does not have a vampire character in it. Yeah. And only in that mall capitalism is a form of vampirism to get a certain extent. But this one, he really doesn't go very far in rubbing the serial numbers off of the
Starting point is 00:04:52 parts. And it feels like he's answering a question I think nobody had, which was, why doesn't Star Wars have more cursing and attempted sexual assault? Why does Star Wars have more of that? So much joy in the Star Wars universe. Can we just strip that out of there? I mean, the Star Wars movies have been doing a pretty good job of, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. But anyway, there's also, he's also like, could we make it a little
Starting point is 00:05:14 more beige? Little more brown? His color palette is going to get to the point where it's just going to be a brown screen without, you can barely see shadows going across. I did think this was less brown than like his DC stuff has been. There's certainly some ambres. Yeah. Yep, but I mean, like every once in a while he would throw up an image that I would like on screen.
Starting point is 00:05:38 He wouldn't bomb it it up. No, no, I agree with you. Throw up an image. I feel like. Although I did think to myself, I was like, what is it about this? Let's be honest, if I saw this movie, if Dan, who was 12 years old with the special effects at the time, saw this movie, I was like, I'd be like, this looks gorgeous. Well, here's the, I think that gets it something, which is Dan at 12 years old had not seen
Starting point is 00:06:00 a movie like this with the special effects. But at this point, you have. Well, there's that, but also I think I was like trying to kind of figure out my problem visually with a lot of it. And I think that modern blockbuster films, this is not just sex-nighter, like, throw so much stuff on the screen, they're like, yeah, it'll be better if there's like a bunch of crap up there. Whereas I think like so many times like a simpler visual with one amazing thing on screen rather than like 12 things you can't really see. Certainly. I mean, again, following the lead of George Lucas who saw the old Star Wars movies and said,
Starting point is 00:06:41 I wish I had thrown more crap on the screen. Yeah, not what it needs. It needs more robots flying around just going, wow, that's a real? More, more runtos. I think you're right then that we'll get into it, but like it's a visually muddy and busy movie. And it's Zack Snyder is really going all out
Starting point is 00:07:00 with the slow motion at times when I'm not sure why. He's doing it. There's a scene in the fight scene where a guy is falling on his butt after being knocked over. It felt like it was going on forever. Like I had taken a hit of that drug from Dread. And slow mo.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yes, low mo was just experiencing that moment forever. But it's a, I think I have it. Fucking Dread kicks out. That's a good movie, guys. You know what I was talking about? I had a similar thought, because and Stuart I called you guys, this will it get into the summary. But while I was watching I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:07:28 I'm going to pull a damn McCoy on this. I'm going to come at this movie hoping I like it, not prejudging and I'm being ready to criticize it, but hoping it makes me cry a couple times so that I'll kind of like it. And the first club. And maybe like the first 10, 15 minutes, I was like, you know what? I like space opera junk. I like dumb space colonies or whatever. I like when big empires are fighting rebels or whatever.
Starting point is 00:07:51 But as a whole, you want to- Like fertility rituals. Yes, exactly. I love fertility rituals. I love sex positive farming communities on far off rim worlds. But I was finding it's so predictable. It's so incredibly predictable. And it didn't get it what I think I like from space opera, which is when things are crazy
Starting point is 00:08:10 or surprising. At the same time I was watching this movie, I was not simultaneously, but while at the same days I was watching this, I was reading the book The Wizard of Lynn by A.E. Van Volk to Van Voigt. I've never known how to pronounce his last name. And his books are classic bonkers, science fiction pulp in a crazy way. And the whole time I was reading it,
Starting point is 00:08:29 I was like, why am I enjoying this book when I'm not enjoying this movie? And I think it was because the book kept surprising me and the movie did not. Stuart, tell us about this movie that did not surprise us. I also, real quick, just before we get into this, as I'm handling summary duties, I think it's very important to point out
Starting point is 00:08:44 that this is the first in what two or three movies, at least two, possibly three or more. And it feels so much like the first episode of a series, barring that it has no exciting thing that happens right at the end. And it, I've, it's certainly the story suffers from it. And I feel like on some level, it feels harsh to critique it because there's like no story. I'm going to get a full story, that's true. But at the same time, it doesn't, oh, sorry, damn, saving the same.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I'm going to say, no, we can critique it all we want because there's, you know, recently we've seen a lot of this like in movies where no story can stand alone. And so either you've got stuff like Marvel movies where they're constantly setting up the next thing or a different flavor of Marvel movie over at Sony, people were mad at the new spiderverse movie. Like I mean, people liked it, but they're like, I had no idea it was gonna, that's half a movie.
Starting point is 00:09:47 And like, I'll tell you, that half is amazing. Yeah, half amazing, you're wrong. But also, first off, like the Marvel movies, yes, they have a lot of like junk that doesn't need to strictly be speaking to be in a standalone movie because they're setting up all this other stuff
Starting point is 00:10:02 that you may or may not care about. But they do tell like individual stories. And the Spider-Verse movie, which I think should have still had the like part one on it. So people who weren't paying attention to like all the stuff around it, like would know, oh, I'm not going to get the ending. Like that has an emotional arc of the character like, you know, finding all these other Spider-Men like, you know, like wanting to be accepted, like going his own way, like there's, there's a whole, at least character story that's being told here. This is literally a film that is like, we need to assemble a team to do a thing.
Starting point is 00:10:34 And then the moment that team is fully assembled, they're like, well, credits by. And I'm like, you're fucking you. And then like, the way you said it, Dan, is it is super astute that like the, you look at Dune Part One. And it's like, that is, there's no more. I looked at it for like three hours. Yeah, I did. I looked at it. There's no motion park for that character that ends on a high cliffhanger point.
Starting point is 00:10:55 You're like, I can't wait to see what that character's going to do next. With Spiderverse, I feel like they gain the ability to do that because, I mean, I was annoyed that the movie ended and I was like, okay, I got to see another one of these. But the first movie is a full movie. I got it. I got it. What does my son wants to see it really badly? That the the sequel, I feel like once you've had a full first story, the sequel can, can
Starting point is 00:11:15 earns those points to possibly be part of something bigger. Yeah. And you look at the old Marvel movies. I'm not going to get point two. Especially the old like the first Iron Man, I guess there's that thing is that, do they have that teaser about the Avengers Initiative at the end? I can't remember. Yeah, but it's in the post-credits scene. It's not like, it's not technically part of the movie, right?
Starting point is 00:11:32 Then I, I know we would have turned off the movie long before I would have gotten that point. Like the first Iron Man movie or the first Thor movie, it's like, okay, these are the whole stories. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's, but the, but this one, it really does feel like they're, they're really relying on that part one very heavily. And yet somehow they spend two hours assembling this team and by the time it was over, I felt
Starting point is 00:11:52 like I knew none of these characters. Yeah. Well, let's get into that, huh? Yeah. Okay. We're gonna like these, uh, these note cards are as you, yeah, I got my little note cards here. Yeah, James Lipton over here with his note cards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Mm. Uh, so that's James Lipton as what the amazing Crescu-Lok. Yeah, that was James Lipton as Karnak, the Johnny Crescu-Garaj. Now I'm thinking of three movies, Christopher Wocken, and then like, yeah, Christopher Wocken walks out, yeah. So, I mean, how about Christopher Wocken walk, go out then to walk? I mean, if Christopher Wocken swam out, he would name him Christopher Swimman, right? Mm- for swimming, right? That's how it works. Do you have any account now? What's going on here? So we, of course, the movie opens, we get an opening monologue, hell yeah. It's a hand to Surrey and the Hopkins, dropping that shit, playing the role of Jimmy the robot. We don't
Starting point is 00:12:41 know that yet, but we see. We don't find anything in the robot. Let me go far away. Far away, the most lovable character in the whole movie and he disappears after the first half. As soon as he shows up half, he's like 15 minutes into the movie. You don't see any more of that robot. That's true. Until the very end when you see him wearing his yellow jacket, St. Lares, but we'll
Starting point is 00:13:01 get to that anyway. Yeah, it's a fertility ritual. So the opening monologue talks about Mother World and Empire that is expanding and is super aggressive. However, the king and queen were assassinated. And now the evil Belisarius has taken over. Uh oh, and he has sent out a fleet to stop all the rebels. Now the thing is, you don't need to do fucking monologue, dude, this
Starting point is 00:13:25 simple shit, if you're watching Star Wars. Yeah, it's like, at the movie, it started with no monologue. I'd be like, yeah, I got it. I get it. Spaceship, we're in space. It's fine. The guys that look like Nazis are the bad ones. Yeah, the guys with the, with the cut class British accents and the Nazi outfits are the bad guys. Like they've ended the, and they're doing bad stuff. Yeah, it's not like the farmer's. The guy who is beating people to death through the cane with an evil looking cane, we could pick up that he's the bad guy.
Starting point is 00:13:53 You mean his bone staff, Ellie? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. But Stewart, here's the thing I was wondering while we're watching a Star Wars, I was like, wait a minute, it's like a military type thing and they serve a dead king. Is this a poor hammer? Oh shit. I mean, the thing is you got to give me a second because my heart is flutter and L.A. has been paying attention to me when I talk about war. I noticed me. I see you and I listen to you
Starting point is 00:14:20 and I love you. I mean, Dan, you still judgements out. I mean, I think it's interesting. I don't know if the, I'm hoping I'm assuming resounding flop of this movie, if it will negatively affect the recently signed Warhammer Amazon deal, but we'll find out. Now all this monologue is happening. We have a shot of space and kind of a very powerful image where a wormhole opens up in space that looks very vaginal. Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:50 And a long cylindrical spaceship comes through. Maybe this movie will be better than I think it will. Maybe it will be more of a David Lynch, David Lynch, Dune, where everything is weird and or a David Cronenberg world for everything's vaginal or penile, but, and it won't just be a straightforward seven-sale. David Lean would also do a pretty good tune. David Lean would have done an amazing crush tune. It would not have looked like David Lynch's, but it would have, you, you, he would have,
Starting point is 00:15:16 who would have, like, who would have played, you know, Alex Guinness would have played some character in it and been amazing, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What a, David. Alex uh, yeah. Wow. What a day. Now I can assess still guard. I don't think, yeah, I guess he probably would play still guard, but I'd rather be great still guard. Yeah, it'd be okay.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Well, I can, I can feel one way and you another. So, uh, we are, we open in a small rural village on Velt, which is kind of like a rim world, as Elliot said, an agro world out on the far reaches of the galaxy. I mean, like agricultural, not agro, like aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We meet Korra, who is a farmer with a mysterious past, played by Sophia Batelis. She was in the mummy as the mummy, who was not Tom Cruise, the, you know, the, the lady, the first mummy. Yeah. Yeah. She was the, the, the blade lady, blade leg
Starting point is 00:16:13 having lady from the Kingsman movie, I think. Yeah. She's an atomic blonde. They keep putting her in big block blockbusters and I'll be honest. I have never found her compelling or charismatic except in. Dan says she don't have the juice. Star Trek from beyond where she plays a blue lady who has a lot of makeup on so it's hard to tell that it's her, but she's good in that one. Okay. Well, she has a mysterious past and she's going to be our main character, so I guess deal
Starting point is 00:16:40 with it. We also meet Gunner, who is kind of an ambitious farmer. He's kind of outgrown this simple village and he is, he's trying to find ways to make, he's kind of smarter than his humble roots. And then we all, yeah, I think that's the idea. I don't know. I'm going to talk about him in a moment when something happens. We'll have a bigger discussion about that. Okay. I mean, so many of these characters, they kind of do what the plot needs them to do at the moment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:09 And then they kind of makes up why they did it. So I could he he's seen it. They he was at certain points. He was gambit and at certain points he was Luke Skywalker. Yeah. And it's kind of hard to tell. And he's played by an actor who I know has been in a bunch of stuff, but I mainly remember him as being an indie rock star on the TV show Nashville. Yeah. Okay. And in general, I think the character, Mikael Hoysman. Oh, yep, that's it.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah. Is a interesting but not really successful attempts to, like sort of gender swap the normal blockbuster roles where he's, he is the damsel in distress and, you know, she is the like devil make hair here, not devil make hair, the tortured hero sort of anyway. Um, who's the, who's a supervisor? So the village, a village that seems to be made up entirely of people between the age of 20 and like 45. Um, they, they, they killed their elderly and their young.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Yes. Yeah, that's something that would be, we'll find out in part two I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah, they send their young to boarding school and they're elderly to another to do it like an old folks village, yeah. Yeah, they all, you know, they send them to Providence, the capital of the planet. You're the village is Florida's friendliest hometown, Trump country, yeah. Sure. So speaking of villages, the village has a harvest festival, has like a harvest feast and
Starting point is 00:18:24 the, the leader of the village, the father of the village, C harvest festival, has like a harvest feast and the the leader of the village, the father of the village, Sindhry, played by Corey Stahl with that's right, a pretty cool beard, gives a very horny speech about how the important thing they should be doing is fucking. Everybody gets a speech in this movie and this is his. I guess he is a couple. Yeah, he gets a couple. He's, you know, he's great.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Do I wish he had a hair piece like in the strain? Yes, of course I wish he had a crazy hair piece. But he has that crazy beard. He does have a crazy beard. I'll shut up. I'll, I'll, I'll take what I'm, I'm given. So Korra's adopted father, Hagen or Hagen, tries to convince her to settle down that that's the one way that she'll really become
Starting point is 00:19:05 part of their community, but she's not so sure. She's, you know, she's got a mysterious past. Next day, an imperial dreadnought arrives into orbit and Korra runs over and sounds a bell, and it's like everyone can see it. Like I don't know what your hammering that they can. And they, they have, they have a lot of awareness. It's the same thing that kept Mahershali from seeing that plane crash in the world, leave the world behind until he needed to. Plot blindness keeps you from seeing the thing. You almost called it the world is not enough. I did always call it that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Because that's the movie always wish I watched it. Well, behind. That would be great if it had like James Bond style opening credits with like things being projected on Ethan Hawke and Julie Roberts. I mean, speaking of James Bond openings, this movie needed something like, why didn't they throw in some kind of true satisfaction moment right at the beginning? Like, I don't know. I know, I kind of appreciate that, I don't know. I kind of appreciate that I don't know. I like, I'm tired of every blockbuster
Starting point is 00:20:08 having to start with an action sequence and then circling back to, like, we're starting off low. I don't know. I guess I've just seen too many movies that I'm tired of everything. Everything in movie could be. So when you're tired of tricks, straight forward storytelling can be really good. And I wish there was more story because they're telling it fairly straightforwardly, even though until the movie becomes a series of action scenes interspersed with flashback monologues,
Starting point is 00:20:35 but we'll get to that. We'll get to that. So the town gets together and they have a quick chat. You know, they have a quick chat before the bad guy show up because they, uh, oh, gunner has sold their, their, their surplus of grain and whatnot to their harvest surplus to the rebels.
Starting point is 00:20:53 And they don't want the Imperials to find out. Bad guys arrive. They are super Nazi looking, although there are a couple of dudes with wacky head dresses that just kind of hover around the background like those guys. I like that. I was looking up, I was looking up stuff about Rebel Moon and this image kept coming up of this lady with huge horns. And I'm like, wish that was in the movie. I guess that's in one of the sequels, but any time a character has a weird head dress or weird mask. I love it. I like that. Yeah. These guys are so comically bad. And I'm not saying that there aren't. Comically evil, you mean?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Comically, yeah, well bad as in like bad people. No, no, but you don't mean comically bad like, they're like, oh, well, well, like, you're clarifying. I understand you're clarifying. I think that the rest of my context would be easy for people to understand. All right, I just don't want people to jump to conclusions fast.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Be sure. Comically evil characters. And I'm not saying that there aren't comically evil people who exist in life, including say the Nazis who were the obvious inspiration for these people. But they're evil even sort of within their own ranks in a way that I'm like, it frustrates me like, I'm just like, what is this bullshit? There's like that one guy who's like, hey,rates me, like I'm just like, what is this bullshit? Like there's like that one guy who's like, hey, look at me, I'm gonna start shooting at our own robots.
Starting point is 00:22:10 That's pretty crazy. It's a lot of military mission you want this person along. It seems like a problem. He does seem like the kind of guy you would send to a far off colony world to get him out of there, but he's working with a major league bad guy. This is like the right hand man of general ballastarius, right? Bellasaurus, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:28 This is, okay. So these, the soldiers and bad guys are led by Admiral Atticus Noble. Did he, okay, that's pretty cool. I don't know, it's actually, he's got a pretty nice name. Pretty cool. Maybe a second pass on that one then. And he's played by returning Flapp House actor and Screen Scrain, who was also in Alita Battle Angel.
Starting point is 00:22:54 The movie that first introduced us to Dan's love of backstory. So Dan, I hope you like this. I hope you're ready for a shovelful. He's also, I believe he took over the, he took over the transporter franchise from Mr. Jason Statham. Yeah. Okay, so Atticus Noble is hunting rebels, specifically the Debra and Darian blood acts, which you say a name like that, I'm like, I got to meet those fuckers.
Starting point is 00:23:20 They are very disappointing when we finally meet them. Yeah, they're like blood acts., so he's Deborah and Darian. That sounds like someone you're like, like, I'm getting a Christmas card from around the time here. Yeah, I feel like Deborah blood access a fourth or fifth generation blood ax name. Like first, it's like, it's like skin, flay blood acts and then like, you know, worst screen blood acts and then Harry blood acts and then his daughter Deborah blood acts. Yeah. It's just a fight. Yeah, it's Deborah's. In case I don't ever agree letters.
Starting point is 00:23:50 It's Deborah. I was super cool name. Deborah's, you put a V in a name and it's always cool. So we have a Stephen. We have an attempt at a, a tense sequence where a Sindri is trying to appease the admiral. I keep, I guess I should just
Starting point is 00:24:08 call him noble because I'm going to have to say his name upon. He tries to appease him and then noble just beats Cindry to death with his, his, like, walking stick that looks like a leg bone, like a femur.
Starting point is 00:24:19 So they kill him and then they say they demand that in 10 weeks they're going to return and they're going to basically need the village's entireur. So they kill them and then they say they demand that in 10 weeks they're going to return and they're going to basically need the villages entire heart. So this is after gunar, has basically sold out Cindry in a way that he thought was being clever and helping them out, but at least the Cindry being beaten to death. And this is what I wanted to talk to you with this farmer character where like, to me, I think
Starting point is 00:24:46 that this movie makes a mistake here in terms of building the sympathies for these characters. In real life, this is a mistake that I could see being made. You think you're going to get away with something. You think it's's gonna be okay. It all goes horribly wrong. In life, this is the sort of thing that you're like, okay, I see that you didn't mean that. I'm not gonna hold this person's death against you, maybe. But in fiction, I'm like, wait, this guy, a fucking idiot, he's been told to do it
Starting point is 00:25:27 a certain way, clearly these people are not to be tripled with. He's been told by multiple people, and we're still supposed to be like, and this is our second hero that... This is the innocent, you believe. I feel like this is something that could be handled properly. Could be cool, like the idea of a guy who thinks he's smarter than the situation. He doesn't really understand the stakes that he's in. And then he learns from it. But we don't really, don't worry, we're not going to get any kind of arc or learning.
Starting point is 00:26:04 No, I agree. But it could work, but the, we just did like the legwork. You know, we're something like that kind of little tour. Well, where? It's a movie called Star Wars. Where? Luke Skywalker, in it by buying the wrong droid, inadvertently leads to the death of his,
Starting point is 00:26:21 his aunt and uncle, and it's a monopath of justice. That was an accident, Elliot. I mean, he wanted to get out of there. He wanted to get death of his aunt and uncle. And it's a monopath of just- That was an accident, Elliot. He didn't even change sleep in that. He wanted to get out of there. It was all part of a plan to get it up to, I know the stormtroopers are probably looking for this droid. We've got to get him out of the house. But I feel, there's some,
Starting point is 00:26:37 even the fact that you're starting this movie on like a far off agricultural planet with that's isolated from this empire. Like, if I was doing my Star Wars rip off, I would do the opposite, at least on the surface of what Star Wars did. So it seemed a little less obvious that I'm trying to do almost the exact same thing. But it feels like they are just trying to get off those fumes as much as possible. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:02 So the, the Treadnought leaves, but they leave a unit of soldiers behind. And as Dan mentioned, they are comically evil. They are shooting each other and beating each other up. They're, yeah. There's more of this guy. Eris is the one good one. He's a, he's a little sympathetic. And of course, Jimmy the robot who we find out will not fight ever since the, the, the
Starting point is 00:27:23 the king was killed. The, the robot's on fire. we find out will not fight ever since the king was killed. The robots don't fight anymore. And this is the first time that the king and the princess are referred to as like these sort of like noble people who like, you know, honor like died with them or something. You know, like the robot talks of him in these glowing terms. And I think that we as the audience are supposed to sort of believe at least some degree that there's like this fallen past. But then later on we see the backstory for our main character.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I won't get into it yet, but we see that when the king was around, they were violent expansionists. It's just that. Yeah, I'm like, so wait, are we supposed to feel bad that these king got killed? How is the world worse now than what we saw before? I can see, I can see it, if they're doing something a little more nuanced, that the robot has been programmed to see the royal family as noble. But the right, that the movie seems to be implying that,
Starting point is 00:28:17 it's kind of hard, the movie is so mushy that it's kind of hard to know what, you know, because it's so clear that the Empire has always been bad or whatever it's called. I don't remember what it's kind of hard to know what, you know, because it's so clear that the empire has always been bad or whatever it's called. I don't remember what it's called. Mother World, whatever. Has always been called the empire. But it's hard to know what, like again, in the Star Wars movies, they're harkening back to the days of the Republic that was before the empire. But in this, there's no thing like that necessarily.
Starting point is 00:28:45 And so it is hard to know what, what are we, what were we supposed to think is good or not good? Because the king does seem terrible. Maybe Bella, sorry. I said he's played by Carriela. Yeah. I mean, I think that Carriela ways who flop out slissers will again remember as Bobby Wobbly from these.
Starting point is 00:28:59 He's most iconic role, but I think he does have a pretty cool fake beard at one point. That's true. It was so funny the whole time I'm like, is that Carrie L.A. is under that beard? I do like his late career turn into like sort of like vinyl villains. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:16 But I think all of this stuff is not just off the fumes of Star Wars, but off the fumes of Ancient Rome, right? I feel like Carrie L.A. wasn't Hugh Grant should have a movie where they're like dueling vinyl. I really love that. That'd be amazing.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Where ancient Rome, the Republic fell. There was a first emperor. He was talking about ancient Rome. Hey guys, how often do I think about ancient Rome? It's not a dude railman. No, but the first emperor brought some kind of stability, but still was not a good guy. And then when he fell, it was just a series of kind of crappy, more monstrous people for a while.
Starting point is 00:29:50 And I would think that's the same kind of historical troop trope they're going after, but it's not clear. It's not, they don't do it well, you know, it's all considering how much time is spent explaining things to us. By the end of the movie, I was like, I don't really understand this world or the people in it, you know. Yeah, so we get a little bit of this backstory from Jimmy the robot because he befriends a Sam who is a local girl who mainly fetches water.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Every time you say it, it's like Jimmy the robot. You got it. You want some information? You got to go see Jimmy the robot. Jimmy the robot. Be poop. You want pie calculated. My memory banks are a little foggy.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Perhaps a few microchips would clear them up. All right, Jimmy. Fine. Here you go. Yeah, yeah. The boob. I seen for a memory he was driving a black Lincoln town car. Through space. Okay. So, but this is this scene between Jimmy the robot and Sam. I think is the best scene in the movie by far. Yeah. What do you guys think? It's the only scene that felt like a real emotional connection to me. It does look like someone put in AI art prompts of robot with girl in idyllic setting and it comes out like that.
Starting point is 00:30:54 But like it helps that you have Anthony Hopkins delivering it. Yes, very much so. I see what you're saying, but even at the time I was like, what am I to make of this monarchist robot? Like was he programmed like this? I was like, also like, like droids and star wars, he seems to have like, sentience, but he's also like, I don't know, he's collaborating with this evil guy. He's also programmed. I mean, he's all, all kinds of slaves essentially. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Right. Yeah. It's a Friday, 88, who's just a slave to his need to kill. Ambi Do. Ambi Doe. Ambi Cool. But I think you're right. At this, but also when I was watching the movie, this was still during my, I'm going to give this a fair shot phase. Yeah, sure. Sure.
Starting point is 00:31:33 So we also learn that Princess Isha is Isha is magic. Okay. That's important. It's going to matter. Okay. So the villagers get together. They decide if they work hard enough, maybe the troops will let them keep some of their harvest. And I'm like, that's not going to work.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Did you see that guy beat the other guy to death with the bone game? And in fact, it doesn't seem to work because Korra tries to run off. And instead she's way laid because she has to rescue Sam, the water bearing villager from being assaulted by these soldiers who are horrible and the scene sucks. Yeah, but also, yeah, I mean, it sucks in the sense that like, you know, sexual violence in a blockbuster, like, we don't need thatness to do. But it's a different vibe than what I was expecting.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Yes, but also, it sucks in the Zack Snyder way because of course, like, there's a moment where like, core to get, core is old, you know, warrior instincts get activated and everything goes into slow motion and she kills everybody. And I am so fucking sick of this in movies. Like I want- I hate to break it to you, Dan, you're gonna get a lot more of it from this movie. I know. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:40 But I want like some sense of actual danger. I don't want heroes that are like are essentially superheroes in everything but name who can do all this awesome shit. I want the idea, maybe someone might get hurt at some point and I now have some rooting interest in what's happening. So Dan, you're not going to like the seems later when Kora is literally waiting through fields of laser fire where none of the laser bolts hit her because of plot mechanics. Yeah, she has plot.
Starting point is 00:33:09 That's like a flashback. That's a flashback. But even here in this fight, she's surrounded by guys with guns. They almost never try to shoot her. Instead they keep rushing at her. And it's like this is like Ninja fighting in an 80s movie where if you're up against one ninja, it is a brutal fight. But if you are against 10 ninjas, they each take their turn.
Starting point is 00:33:27 They wait until it's time for them to rush at you and they become less and less powerful. I agree this this fight is. And if it was in the 80s, that one ninja would be like, Bolo young or something and you're like, that dude is so jacked. Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's no way he can have stealth. You like this is crazy. He's not going to be able to sneak through.
Starting point is 00:33:43 If he's stealthy and that jacked. He's dangerous. Unstoppable. But I agree with you, Dan, that there's a lack of stakes and a lack of weight and everything to his actions. Yeah, this action, specifically this, I think this might be the worst one. I don't know the bar one's pretty bad too. They're bad. And especially if you're trying to introduce Kora as your hero who's also a badass, this does not bode well for the rest of the day. I would rather see a hero who's like thinking things through and it's like, where can I find my advantages? What can I do that would plausibly make me able to take on a room full of people rather than just like, hey, now I can go to slow motion.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Well, not too long ago, my older son and I, we started watching Raiders of Lost Ark, which he had never seen, which he's kind of lost interest in, which is too bad. I'd like to finish the movie, but he's... At least, Kim, to the final scene, well, the face is milled off. Tell me, tell me. Tell Sammy for me that he's wrong and he's hurt my feet. It's just that he doesn't want to see their face as mill. But the... Because I...
Starting point is 00:34:43 Well, he's wrong about that too. I've heard my views. But the thing that's so amazing about that movie part is that Indiana Jones is constantly on the verge of failing. And sometimes does fail. Like, when he succeeds at anything, I think people remember the part where he shoots the swordsman. And they forget every other moment where he is always behind the eight ball.
Starting point is 00:35:00 He's always a step back from everybody. He's never a step ahead. And he's constantly almost, he's not, he's just good enough to get himself in over his head. And that's a figure I had to get out of it. And I'd love to, I'd love to see more of that type of hero. As fortunately, the only types of heroes we have now, Dan, are Korra or Star Lord. They are either a total badass who's unstoppable or a doof idiot who just kind of stumbles his way to crap. That's where you and I differ. Like I like, I think Star Lord is closer
Starting point is 00:35:26 in spirit to Indiana Jones. It's just like true. I think that's true, but I think he is a, he's a guy who should not be succeeding. Whereas Indiana Jones is like, oh, I just barely succeeded. I think you're confronting how unlikable he can be sometimes.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Maybe that's it, maybe that's what it is. Okay, guys, so this squad of soldiers is butchered by Kara, the defecting soldier Aris, and Jimmy the robot shows up in a clinch to shoot the last guy in the head. No, no, he doesn't shoot the last guy. I thought he did. I thought they'd done went off. Doesn't the other, I thought the other guy, like, I looked like he's, I has a gun, he's looking at it. Like, should I shoot? I thought the, like, the nice,
Starting point is 00:36:10 quote, unquote, like bad guy was the one who shot. And like Jimmy just runs away. I read it as Jimmy the robot was holding the gun, no, not until on Lee, and it went off and perfectly killed the guy. It doesn't matter. No, because I'll never watch this movie ever. It is literally notworth or final tweet. tweet it. Dan and ask him, tell him exactly how you read the scene. So it could be Dan's ding dong gate. Hagen shows up and gives Korra back her guardian gun does does show up or just Hagen.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Mm hmm. Well, we'll get to toss at least. So he gives Korra back her guardian gun, which looks like a normal gun. Just a little bit of fans here. It's like what you would get if you bought the DLC before buying the game. It's like a pre-order bonus. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Thanks for putting it into terms I understand. Yep. Korra and Gunner decide to head off and find the rebels. First stop, that's right, it's Providence, I guess the capital of the planet Rhode Island. Yeah, Providence Rhode Island. Look out for Cthulhu. Everyone's got the Innsmith look. Now, on that on that trip, Cora gives us a big backstory dump and to summarize, her plan was destroyed. She was adopted by Belisarius when she attempted to kill him because he was just wandering the burning city by Belisarius when she attempted to kill him because
Starting point is 00:37:25 he was just wandering the burning city by himself murdering people. So now they're also ripping off from Gamora and Thanos. They've got some new stuff they're ripping off. She was forced to become a soldier in a like a brutal military society. There's a scene of her hoisting the standard of Mother World above Battlefield. And then later on, we find out that she was assigned to protect, be like the bodyguard for Princess Esa. And again, she is magic, Princess Esa is magic every time.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Every time she comes back to life. Every time Belisarius is mentioned, I think of Donald B Belisario, the creator of Glossom Leap. Oh, that's cool. That's just so. I think of Belisario's call, the arc magios of the Adeptus Mechanicome, but that's okay. I have no preconceived associations with Belisario. Belisario's calls the guy who practically invented the process of turning space marines into primarist space marines, guys. Could you? Where would the Imperial Crusades be without primarist space marines into primary space marines guys. Where would the, where would the Imperial Crusades be without primary space marines?
Starting point is 00:38:28 Also, games were a trap wouldn't have any models to sell. Elliot cares more about a Brontosaurus. I do. I mean, that's true. You can't want to look at it. It's very happy. Yeah. Look at his lips.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Okay. Yeah. So they get to Providence. If you were wondering, is this a, is provenance a hive of scum and villainy? You'd be right. You'd be better believe it. But this is different than Star Wars's hive of scum and villainy because again, the scum is rapier than in Star Wars.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Rapier and fewer aliens. So as soon as they get to the cantina, they're trying to meet with the guy that Gunner was like the information broker that Gunner used to get to the canteen, and they're trying to meet with the guy that Gunner was like the information broker that Gunner used to get to in touch with the blood axis. It's so funny, they're like, we better lay low. Mother World could find out about us. Hey, anybody here know who gets in touch with the blood axis?
Starting point is 00:39:16 Like, their way of asking for information is just to literally ask people just to go and ask them. There's no setter feature, anything. So as they... So as they... So as they... So as they... So as they... So as they arrived to the blood axis, literally ask people just to go and ask them. There's no setter feature anything. There's money in this bar that I like, which I would say. Oh, well, we'll get to that. Okay. So as they arrived at the bar, their contact is being taken away by Hawkshause, which is
Starting point is 00:39:34 the term for bounty hunters in this galaxy. And the bounty hunter was a special device, which is like a walking robot thing that also holds like constrictcy. It's like a walking set of manacles, basically. That was pretty cool. Yeah, that's okay. They go inside the bartender is I think a robot or an alien with these giant shoulder pads covered in candles.
Starting point is 00:39:55 That is dope. I'm a big fan. Yeah. You're not that. Yes. You're that please. They learn, an alien puppeteer informs them that through his humanoid puppets. Now I, you're describing that.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Yep. He gives them a lead on- Now, we should make sure not a puppeteer from Larry Niven's known space novels like Ring World. That's a different type of puppeteer. That's, that's the issue. Well, also not like a Muppeteer like Jim Hanson. No, not at all. No, not at all. Inserting a hand anywhere.
Starting point is 00:40:26 What is the thing? No, it's tentacles around the neck of a, I thought it was a dead body, but I guess it's just a, a man and a trance of some kind. Yeah, I feel like there might be some sort of benefit this man is getting from it too. Like it might be like, it's possible. It's possible. Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella,
Starting point is 00:40:42 Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, So the thing is, Bell Sari is basically having sex with a tentacle alien later in the movie and we're actually talking about general admiral Atticus noble. Bell Sari is not fucking this way. Bell Sari doesn't show up till the very end when he is also as a cool fake beard. So the alien puppeteer gives them a lead on the beard really throws me off whenever he saw him. We'll get to that.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Yeah. The alien puppeteer gives them a lead on general tightis now disgraced and gladiating on the Pollocks. And they're like, we got to find this guy. Sounds awesome. They get in a bar fight with this horned up alien asshole. They killed a bunch of bad guys. Basically, Zack Snyder saw Star Wars and he saw Dr. Evison bothering Luke Skywalker and was like, Dr. Evison is hitting on Luke Skywalker, right? He wants to have sex with him because that's what happens here is the guy with a mishap
Starting point is 00:41:30 and alien face, very aggressively hit his face. Let's say, let's say wine, steen, esc, fellow. Yeah, yeah, that's how he treats the farmer. And he assumes that Korra is this farmer's pamph, I guess. At least to a big bar brawl. That leads to a big bar brawl. It leads to a big bar brawl and they come out of it with another member of their team. They team up with a scoundrel named Kai, played by, of course, that's right, Undeclared's Charlie Hunom.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Charlie Hunom. And actor, I hear Lost City of Z is very good. I haven't seen it. Lost City of Z is very good and he's very good. He's really good. Like, in general, like having not seen that, he's an actor that I'm like, oh, he's good, but I have no particular feelings about him. But the amount of excitement I had that anyone with a spark of anything showed up, I'm like, finally, I've been stuck in with these two dolls of people, like, at least you're doing
Starting point is 00:42:23 something. And on some level, he seems excited to be doing something other than the like the endless boring hero role. Because I think he's got a little bit of charm. And he often doesn't get to do that. Yes, I agree. I wish they gave him a more charming character to play, like this character. Nobody's given like two.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Just more to do. Yeah, stuff to do. So he, you know, he's a little bit of a swindler scoundrel type and he is like, Hey, you guys are looking for fighters. I think I know some guys. I got a ship. Let's go. So they get on a ship and fly away.
Starting point is 00:42:56 They head to, oh, yeah. At this point, we cut back to the admiral fucking. It's a little bit. It's pretty cool. Admiral Atticus Noble, fucks a squid. Okay. That was again, one of the few moments from like, the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:43:09 That's one of the few moments where I was like, okay movie, like this I'd like to see more of just like this. This is not something I would see in Star Wars, but in a, in a kind of cool way that this guy's in a relationship with an alien. Yeah, I would like to see, well, I would like to see another level to this character where he's maybe in like a loving Understanding relationship with this alien. Yes. As opposed to here where it seems like it is it's the classic coding of Evil Nazi is also a sexual deviant of some kind. Yeah, and in that way it applies non
Starting point is 00:43:40 traditional sexual roles to evil. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So We're I'm gonna kind of go a little bit quickly because what we're doing is we're assembling a great idea. So we're assembling the team. We start in nay woody or new woody and we meet terrock the slave who is very mussely. This guy is fucking cut up. Yeah. And he has a ride a griffin in order to get his freedom. And he's coded like this is supposed to be the native American style. Yes, he can talk to animals. He's all about the peace of nature. Yeah, he, he calms a Griffin. We got no time for that though because next is we're at Dages and we meet Nemesis, the Swordswoman, and she fights a rider.
Starting point is 00:44:20 She fights a spider lady, which I kind of like. I'm like, well, this is a nice little break in the movie where I don't have to care about the larger plot. No, but here, I'm using swords on a spider. I have three issues with this. One, these are two great actresses who are both being not fully used. This is Dunabay from like the host and from, and sympathy from Mr. Vengeance. And she's fighting Jenna Malone who plays the spider lady.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Oh, Jenna Malone. Oh, that's Jenna Malone. Yes. I've always been a huge fan of Jenna Malone. I think she's fighting Jenna Malone who plays the spider lady. I love Jenna. Oh, that's Jenna Malone. Yes, I've always been a huge fan of Jenna Malone. I think she's amazing. I saw her in a production of Morning Becomes Electra once that she was fantastic in. But then there's a, that's my main issue. These actresses are not being used well too.
Starting point is 00:44:59 The fight sequence is kind of boring. The setup arguably more interesting than anything else going on. I agree. I agree. That Jenna Malone is a spider woman named Harmada, who is, she lives in a mining colony and she's stealing human children because her own children have been killed basically by the pollution caused by the mining community. And like, that should be the plot of your movie.
Starting point is 00:45:19 But it's, instead, it's a, it becomes, these people are talking to Nemesis, the swordswoman. She fights this monster. At no point does anyone try to help her fight the monster. They know this is just, because the movie is just, this is her show off scene. So they don't, they just stand there while she almost gets killed.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And then they cut to her on the spaceship. So we never even find out why she decided to join them. But three, she is the Asian actress, Asian character. So of course, her thing is all about there was no honor in this kill. And the music is very kind of like stereotypical Asian-y sounding. Like, if we're in outer space, why do all these people have to be coded like specific human ethnicities? You know, it feels very, it feels very limiting, you know, feels very stereotypical limiting, you know. Mm-hmm. Okay. So let's keep moving, because now we're on Pollux and we find Titus the general who
Starting point is 00:46:09 is now sleeping off a drunk in the sewer and they clean him up and this is okay. Of course, Chaman Hansu, always great. This guy's been in so many science fiction movies. I mean, there's simply a good cast. It's a shame that I don't know anything about any of them or care about. They quickly convince him to team up. He's like, I can't be a general anymore. They're like, yes, he can.
Starting point is 00:46:32 He's like, okay. That was, that was, that was part was bonkers. He's spent years angry at himself for killing, having his men die. He's been a gladiator. They give him a bath and she says, what about revenge? And he looks at her and he joins. Has he never thought of the idea of revenge in the decades, I guess, or years at least that he's been a glad it's so dumb. It's so good. Now that we're almost done assembling the team, I really, I'm sorry for taking a moment,
Starting point is 00:47:00 but I want to talk a little bit about my biggest like narrative problems with this thing because the movie, okay, it's no secret. This movie is The Seven Samurai in space or you know, pick your poison magnificent seven in space. Maybe seven to seven Samurai in the West, yeah. Yeah. But as I was texting Elliott, like, that makes perfect sense, right? Because Star Wars itself, very influenced by Kira Kursa, very interesting. It influenced by Westerns. Yeah. So all of this stuff in the mix makes sense.
Starting point is 00:47:33 The main problem with it is you're taking a bunch of influences that were digested into a third thing and then you're throwing them back on the digested thing so it feels like very derivative by this point. It feels like instead of, you go to an old house that has had the original moldings and things covered by new features. And you're like, I don't like these new features. I wanna go back to the original.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Let me put copies of the originals on top of the new stuff, that's on top of the old stuff. Yeah. So, but one problem I have with this though, just like on a plot level is, the thing about either 7 Samurai, magnificent 7, you have the same way, 7 means different there. The villain is like, lucky number 11 Samurai.
Starting point is 00:48:17 The villain is just this local warlord. So by assembling a team to fight them off, the villagers plausibly can overcome their problem and everything's fine thereafter. Whereas in this case, their problem is like one ship from a giant galactic evil empire is threatening them. So even if they fight this ship off, they've marked themselves for death. So that's problem number one that I have. And number two that I have is like,
Starting point is 00:48:46 these people are like running or after like chasing, the bad guys are chasing the good guys throughout this, you know, because they want the blood, whoever's or whatever, but I'm just like, why not? Go back to the goddamn moon, wait for them to all come up, have like an overwhelming force, and take them there. You know where they live, like, why is this all happening this way?
Starting point is 00:49:11 So both of those things cause the problem for me. I think the plotting is slip shot and messing it doesn't make sense. I think there's two explanations I'll give to that, which is just to give the movie the benefit of the doubt. One, they don't really care about that village. That village is not that important. In the last few minutes. You use it as bait, I'm saying. So. But they don't know the blood access
Starting point is 00:49:31 are gonna be convinced to go to the village because if you were the head of a rebellion that was fighting a giant intergalactic empire and somebody came to you and said, hey, would you just defend my little village then you would say I'm busy. I've got other stuff to do. But the other thing is they want Cora
Starting point is 00:49:44 because they think Cora might be, what's her, what was her other name? Art Tazizia. I know, remember. Yeah, it's something. Also known as the Scargiver. And she is, as the adopted daughter of Bellisarius, she is, she is very valuable as I. Sure.
Starting point is 00:50:01 But again, they can just wait for her to come back to like the place. I don't know. It's like a waste of resources. Luke ever go back to Tatooine, not for a long time. And they see in Star Wars. So they're like, he's got a showroom for a while. Just nothing but go back to Tatooine. Well, now that they have most of their team, they show up on Sharnan, I think, or Sharnan.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Sharnanana. Is this where King Levitica, the squid man? Is this for King Levitica, the squid man? And he has been kind of protecting the blood axes and the blood axes show up and they have little conversation. We meet Darian and Devoroblodax. And Darian, after hearing their plea, realizes that they are at some level at
Starting point is 00:50:46 fault for the problems of this village. So he is going to, he is going to join them, and he convinces some of his followers to join as well. And this was kind of a funny moment when he starts to give a speech to his troops, and it cuts to the assembled, you know, the heroes, and they like look like, oh, check this out. Oh, wow, he's good at this. He's given this speech. Um, uh, Kai at this point, uh, also agrees, you know, he's been showing them around, but he's like, you know what, I'm going to fight too. And I was like, he didn't already agree to fight, uh, but he says he's going to fight, but he has to do one last job for CSGO, drop off some stuff. And they're like, uh, okay, that's fine. I mean, you're driving us.
Starting point is 00:51:25 So I mean, that's only fair. That's very funny to see the heroes helping him unload the cargo from his. It's like, oh, I guess you just didn't want to pay a task rabbit to do this. Like you have us doing it. Do we get pizza space pizza afterwards? Helping all these boxes. But before you can finish that job, Admiral Atticus Noble and his dreadnought show up at Shunan and they blow up the whole planet.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Which, yeah, they do that. I mean, it's a lot of collateral damage for this far. Yeah, there's just something about the like decision to wipe out a planet being that simple being really kind of like it becomes too much and it makes it less impactful. Yeah. Well, I hate to keep going back to the Star Wars. It's a difference between Aldron being destroyed in the first Star Wars and the whatever
Starting point is 00:52:12 the head of the lead planet is in Force Awakens that gets blown up, we're in the first Star Wars, like even though you're only seeing Princess Leia's reaction to it, it's treated as a big thing. Yeah. Like this is a big, big thing that they've just done. And it's heartbreaking. And then in force awakens, they're like, oh, I guess we blew up a planet. It was the planet with the government on it. What did I do? That was nice.
Starting point is 00:52:35 I was blown up planet. That's nice. So after the, after our heroes, they're all on this like space station, like a giant floating space stock. And they're unloading boxes. And of course, Kye pulls and fucking, of course, they're like, Kye, the right permits to unload these boxes and then they go down to the, I would find that way more interesting. You know, you said the zone 12. You're in your part in zone 10, go to zone 12. So Kye betrays them.
Starting point is 00:53:02 The boxes they're carrying burst open and then they turn into those robot manical things. He is one of those bounty hunters. He's a hawkshaw. He's awesome. And this is I it's supposed to feel like a big betrayal. But again, we barely know these characters. We don't care that much about them. Like, like, Atticus Noble shows up with a little space shuttle and he starts walking around explaining all the heroes cool qualities. I'm like, and it's, I'm like, that sounds great. I haven't seen do shit.
Starting point is 00:53:32 I'm gonna fuck about these people. And the thing is, I, I've mentioned a recent podcast, how much I love fiction where they like hint at how awesome or tough somebody is for a while, and you learn through their reaction how cool or scary a bad guy or hero is. But I feel like this movie spends so much time just like telling you about people, and then when you get to them, you're like, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:53:57 I said not doing anything. Recently, how much I love assembling a team, and this movie's nothing but that, and it bips it. Yeah. But I'll give them this. I really appreciate it. It feels like they adapted a six-issue old Marvel comic storyline and didn't take any of the exposition out. That was the unique issue in case that was the first issue that you read. So it's like, it's like if the, if it halfway through a Daredevil movie someone just went, ah, Daredevil, whose heightened senses
Starting point is 00:54:22 allow him to see things with his radar sense. But yeah, that was established, but then you can case someone just walked into the movie now. Okay, so this, this moment was very helpful to me in clarifying who these characters were supposed to be, not in an interesting way, but you know. Uh, and now at kind of this point, we have learned that when you are manacled into one of these things that you can take like basically what like a pneumatic pistol type thing. Yeah, it's like, and blast them in the back of the head.
Starting point is 00:54:47 You're like, it's like a reverse, what's his name? Tarker from, from, from no country for old man. Anton Shiger. Yeah. Thank you. It's like a reverse one of those because instead of hitting in the forehead, it's hitting you in the, in the back of the head. And, and it, for some reason, it, it fits perfectly into these manacles in a fun way. It's a very inefficient way to do it. It also
Starting point is 00:55:07 Unlocks all of these manacles so giving The thing was maybe not the best idea. Yeah, we don't know that part yet. It's a combination key and extermination device. Yeah, so Kai makes a big show of making sure that Gunner who is the only one of our heroes Who is in a manacles because he's too much of a wimp, not a threat. He's just a farmer. He's just a farmer. They give him the bolt pistol and they're like, you are going to have to, you're going to have to paralyze your friends and I will step away.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Everybody else don't look. And he, of course, pulls a fast way as much time as you need to make this decision. He releases his friends and he kills Kai very quickly and I'm like, Charlie Holmes gone. We have a battle. The battle is, let's say, not particularly interesting, but in the middle of it. I have to say, I checked out hard during this battle. I could not, I didn't keep track of who was doing what. I didn't care.
Starting point is 00:55:58 It was so boring and so, so dark and hard to see to happen. Yeah, for me, it was the biggest news. So there's like the less I'm interested in big gun fight laser battle scenes. And this was like the apex of that of me just being like, let me just get to the point where the bad guys are falling on the ground and the good guys are standing up still. Well, the bad guys have like a little space shuttle that it features a single pilot who seems to be piloting also manning the guns and it's an exposed canopy, which is perfect. I'm glad that you met that is something I noticed that I was like, this is a bad design,
Starting point is 00:56:32 this is a major military weapon. So this and he's like blasting the crap out of the like little fighter ships that Daryen Bloodhacks brought along. And then Daryen Bloodhacks to sat he sacrificed himself to save his troops and everybody else by like jumping on with a giant spear and killing the pilot, but he himself dies. The shuttle crashes onto the dock, which separates a section leaving Korra and Noble to fight on this tiny little platform. She has no weapon. He has that cool, metal bone staff that he's been beating people up with, but it's not
Starting point is 00:57:05 enough. She beats the shit out of them super fast and stabs him with his own staff and kicks his ass off the platform. We're like, oh, he's dead. Too bad. I like them. They return. I hope that's what's going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:57:16 They return. The next scene should have been the squid crying over his body. Yeah. Man, like it's the like the fucking rank or keeper bit. Where was it? Yes. What a moment. What a great movie. Yeah. Oh, man, like it's the like the fucking rank or keeper bit. Where was what a moment? What a great movie. Yeah. And then this got to cause that one. But you know, yeah. What are you talking about? The so they returned our heroes returned to the village on belt. They had this moment where they're like, Oh, that place looks like a nice place to die. And I'm like, yeah, it would have been
Starting point is 00:57:39 dude. I wish the fight had been here and sit on this shitty boring dark. It will be in part two or part three. And speaking of part two or part three, we see that Noble is picked up by his buddies. They retrieve his body. They force him into this like futuristic Skype call with his boss who threatens him and then they revive him and that's the end of the movie. Yeah. We did it. Child of Fire.
Starting point is 00:58:03 One of the fighters that goes to the village at the very end, was it that one member of Blood Axe's Rebellion who has a couple lines, who it's in plot. So, okay, so there's this, when Blood Axe is like giving his speech, he's like, are we gonna help these people? And one person goes, I'll go with you,
Starting point is 00:58:18 if only to keep you from dying. And then later when he sacrifices to himself, she's like, no, and goes into berserker anger shooting. And I don't know the character's name. I don't know who they are. I think it was like, Millius. Yes, I'm like that. Obviously, I reference to John Millius, the director who also likes shooting things while
Starting point is 00:58:34 screaming, yeah. But it was just one of these things where it was like, you can't just throw in this character with this amount of shorthand. And then have me treat them as a major hero, remember? You don't think you can't because I think Zach Snyder thinks he can. I think you just did. with this amount of shorthand and then have me treat them as a, as a major hero, remember the. You don't think he can't because I think Zach Snyder thinks he can. I think he just did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:49 What a, what a, what a nice, we made it through the whole movies. I want to commend you Stewart. Thanks. You did a great job. And a half hour film, Abley, Synopsize without too much of the crap left in. And you came to the lore master himself over here. Yeah. Mark Majos Stewart.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Speaking of lore, what's great about Rebel Moon is it's not just a movie. It's not just a series of movies. They've already announced it. It's a multimedia experience. It is. They've already announced the huge multimedia world. There's going to be a role playing game. There's going to be a graphic novel.
Starting point is 00:59:24 There's going to be, they're already talking about TV series prequels that go with it. They're talking about other movies that are prequels. And it's like, oh, and there's podcast. It was announced. It was company. But it just, it feels like such a, this is one of those times where they're really putting the cart before the horse, I feel like. Yeah. This is this, this is this is our universe rolling down the letterbox reviews. Like even like, you know, you get the the outliers, like the real true Snyder hardcore people, but like, I feel like even the people who are inclined to maybe not hate everything Zack Snyder are giving this bad reviews.
Starting point is 01:00:03 We're just bored by it, et cetera. So I don't know. I don't know about the future for the part. Part two is definitely coming out because the universe, they already released the teaser, which looks like more of the same. There's nothing. It's not new. Oh, the part to the scar giver, right? The scar giver. Yeah. Great. We can find a new. There's a comic book series that's going to depict the backstory for the Blood-X siblings. They've already talked about an Atticus Noble prequel. A thing, be one thing. And then maybe successful can be a few other things.
Starting point is 01:00:36 It's a balance series. No more TV series. That's what it is. Yeah, well, that's when Star Wars came out, it's not like people were like, okay, finally, we can make 100,000 things off of this. Like, see if it works once. And if it or once, then build on it, you know. Well, speaking of whether it works, we should get through. On the other hand, Zack Snyder is much more successful than us. Final, it's true. Maybe I'm wrong.
Starting point is 01:00:56 That's the one marker of anything. Yeah. Final Jax, we're things, Ten's Law. Yeah. It's a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie you kind of liked. I want to say something here. As Ali, guys, can I say something? Can I get real?
Starting point is 01:01:12 As I would have plucked this movie. But Dan's turn is chair around is straddling the chair. As Ali, it referenced, normally I'm the soft touch on the floppyos podcast. Look back at the last episode about a full movie. I was the one who kind of liked it. God help me. I kind of enjoyed watching the Sniper Cut of Justice League, at least in so much as I thought it was. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:36 More interesting than the other cut. And there's certain bits in it that I thought was like, okay, sure, why not? Yeah, and this is Speed Force. This fucking movie, it's not the most boring thing we've seen. It's certainly not the most incompetent thing we've seen. But the more we do this podcast, the movies that I, the only movies I outright hate are the ones that feel like utterly bereft of any kind of original imaginative spark and just feel like a thing that was made because there was money over here. Because this is the kind of thing people might want to see.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Yeah, and I like this movie is garbage. Well, I would say it is a movie that has no reason for existing. There's nothing about it is interesting or exciting. It's not main point. And Zack Snyder say what you will about him. He's a director who, for the most part, makes movies where I feel like he really wants to make that movie.
Starting point is 01:02:37 And he really cares about what the movie is doing and saying. Like, I don't love these movies, but he's supposed to be a nice enough man for what I understand. And when he has a, you can see in his movies, a passion for what he's doing and for the city selling, going all the way back to like 300 and watch men and was it dawn of the dead? He did, right?
Starting point is 01:02:54 Yeah, probably a strong. Probably a strong. He's got a good script. Yeah. He's got a CGI zombie, baby. Yeah. And I would take, or you look at a previous flop house, Zack Snyder movie, Sacrapanche, a movie I do not like.
Starting point is 01:03:05 But the entire time it feels like it is the vision of a specific artist. It was working in a palette. I don't like the composition I don't like, the end product I don't like, the style and the tone I don't like, but it feels unique in its own way. Whereas this feels like,
Starting point is 01:03:22 it wouldn't surprise me if somebody else made this and then Zack Snyder like put his name on it afterward. Like it feels like someone who is trying their hardest to make a Zack Snyder-ish thing, but without any of that passion or that inspiration. And you're right, Dan. Like when I was, like I was saying at the beginning, watching this movie, I was like, why don't I like this? It's so completely lifeless and predictable.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Whereas I like cheesy science fiction stuff, and I like it when it's cheesy partly because it feels like it's full of energy and this is so it's just dead. It lies there dead, you know, and it's there's nothing going on in it. Let's do it. Twelve stars. What do you do? Yeah, here's the thing. So if you want, if you want star wars, if you want star wars, but funny, you got space
Starting point is 01:03:59 balls. You want star wars. That's like a little bit racy. There's like a million star wars porn parodies. If you want star wars, but it's like, I don't know, more of a Western, there's fucking firefly and shit. If you want heavy metal, go watch the fifth element. If you want, and if you want heavy metal, if you want a star wars that's specific like a science fiction movie or a story that's about assembling a team, watch a fucking playthrough of Mass Effect 2. That shit's awesome. I mean, you could just do that, just Google it. Just do it. Just do it.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Yeah, I'm just, can we just do it? You can, we can just do it. I mean, it's just far out of the public domain now. I think just do it is also, yeah, probably. Everything is now. So yeah, it's, I think there's a bad, bad, and the biggest thing is that it is just like, it is just warmed over, warmed over, warmed over stuff. And you're not going to see anything that even remotely feels new, except for maybe the candles on the shoulder's bartender.
Starting point is 01:04:53 Or maybe like this, maybe when he, even, you know, I was going to say even when Nemesis is fighting the spider woman, but the spider woman is even just warmed over Angelica Houston from Moonwalk, from Captain Eo. So like the,. So like there's stuff in here. There's so many, but anytime you see like a bartender who's a robot god with candles on his shoulders, who's an alien, you're like, oh, somebody, somebody in this was like, was trying, was doing something original. And I wish there was more of that. Yeah, more of it.
Starting point is 01:05:20 Hello, everyone out there. Thank you for coming to our service. Yes, we are ready to heal you. We are Ross and Carrie that. We can cure you. You should listen to Ono Ross and Carrie. Hallelujah. It's on maximum fun. I couldn't have said it better myself. Yes, ma'am. Yes, you there. Gladys. A spirit of boredom. Oh my goodness, we have the solution for you. It is to listen to the podcast. Ono Ross and Gary. The human mind can be tricky. Your mental health can be complex. Your emotional life can be complicated. So it helps to talk about it. I'm John Mo. Join me each week on my show Depresh Mode with John Mo. It's in-depth conversations about mental health, with writers, musicians, comedians, doctors, and experts,
Starting point is 01:06:29 folks like Noah Khan, Sashir Zameida, and Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. We talk about depression, anxiety, trauma, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism. We have the kind of conversations that a lot of folks are hesitant to have themselves. Listen, and you won't feel as alone, and you'll have some laughs too. Depresh Mode for Maximum Fun at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:06:56 The flop house is sponsored in part by Rocket Money, board by all those rockets and rebel moon have a rocket money instead. You know, there's less space I brought, but it'll help you more with your personal finances. Here's a question. If I ask you how many subscriptions you have, would you be able to list all of them and how much you're paying exactly your cop, the amount you're spending may surprise you. Ryan, you have to tell him if he asks you. That's a canard. Rocket money can help find and cancel. That's a doubt, isn't it? You can use subscriptions.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. We'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple of months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20% that sounds good to me. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest. Rocket money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over 500 million in canceled subscriptions.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Hey, you know, it's a new year. Why not clean out the cupboard of those unused unwanted subscriptions? You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rockinmoney.com slash flop. That's rockinmoney.com slash flop. Rockinmoney.com. Slashflop. Rockin'money.com. Slashflop. Hey guys, you're probably listening to this podcast on the internet. And you know what's on the internet? Websites.
Starting point is 01:08:35 You know how you get your own website? The best way to do that shit is with Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that gives you the tools you need to make a really cool website because you know what you need That's right a website. So Some of the things Squarespace offers they give you information on How many people and who is visiting your website and what they're doing with that information They have all the stuff you need to set up a web store
Starting point is 01:09:01 So you can take money and you can build your business And with their next generation website design system a web store so you can take money and you can build your business. And with their next generation website design system, you can take your own creativity and you can add a little bit of juice thanks to what Squarespace is providing. So, you need to head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, which you should be soon, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Very exciting. And there's also some very exciting flop house promotional news as you may have heard at the very top of this
Starting point is 01:09:38 episode. If you didn't skip through it, the flop house is going on tour at the end of January. That's right. It's a four city west coast tour, all the cities of the west coast that matter. Just kidding. See how we still like you, but we're not going to you this time. We're going to four cities on January 24th. We'll be in Vancouver, Canada to talk about the movie Cobra on January 25th. We'll be in Portland, Oregon to talk about the movie Cool as Ice on January 26. We'll be in San Francisco is part of San Francisco sketch fest at Cobb's comedy club talking about jelly and on
Starting point is 01:10:08 January 28th will be in Los Angeles at the region theater talking about spawn. That's right. It is an all 90s except for the 80s and also early 2000 movie And we can't wait to be team. Thank you That's the theme we can't wait to be in That's the theme, thank you. That's the theme. We can't wait to be in front of you, in entertaining you, meeting fans. We love these live shows. We're so excited to do them again. We want you to come out and talk to us. We're going to be doing presentations.
Starting point is 01:10:33 We're going to talk about the movies. And I'm sure we'll be shaking hands afterwards, maybe kissing babies. We'll see. Bring a baby. We'll find out. And the tickets, they're all in one place kind of. If you go to flopphousepodcast.com slash events, it will lead you to all the information about those shows,
Starting point is 01:10:48 and also where to buy tickets. Some tickets are still available, they are going at a pretty good clip. So we hope that you have a chance to buy them before they go buy-by themselves, buy, before buy-by. Thank you. We also want to remind you, thank you, Stuart's a plotting for me. We also want to remind you, thank you, Stuart's a plotting for me.
Starting point is 01:11:05 We also want to remind you that flop TV may be over in terms of new episodes, but those videos are going to be up online through the end of January. So you can still buy a season's pass if you go to theflophouse.simpletix.com. You can buy a season pass and watch all six of those recordings of season one of flop TV season two
Starting point is 01:11:27 TBD and you can you can binge them all and watch us get older each episode Yeah, one month each but each time I did look at a photo recently that was like At most two years older little recently that was like at most two years older. And I'm like, why by it so much what happened. I feel like things have been going on in the world, Dan. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, but yeah, if you're interested, we're nearing the end of the flop TV window just to check it out before the end of January. Buy it before it goes buy buy buy before buy buy. That's my new slogan. But if you want to see us in person, it'll still it's still happening.
Starting point is 01:12:08 If you're in Vancouver, Portland, San Francisco or Los Angeles at the end of January, flop house podcast.com slash events. And again, to buy a season past watch those videos before they're gone, the flop house.simple.txt. Dandie, do you buy all your outfits for those live shows yet? Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, me he was going to buy an outfit themed to each city. That's not set expectations. That we can't deliver on. And we have a jumbo tron.
Starting point is 01:12:35 And here it is. It goes like this, hey, peaches, lovers, I know a lot of you love comics. And I know, and I hope you will love my upcoming book, How Comics Were Made, a visual history from the drawing board to the printed page. The book looks at 130 years of newspaper comics, how artists drew their work for reproduction, and the bizarre and complicated processes that transformed them for print. The book heads to crowdfunding in February 2024, So you preview at howcomicswermade.ink. In this case, that's I-N-K, like the things that people draw with, the things, the stuff. And sign
Starting point is 01:13:15 up for an announcement or free newsletter. Once again, that called action is, why don't you visit how comics were made. I in K to find out more and sign up for a free newsletter and book announcement. That sounds like a book I might be interested in. Hey, well, look at this. Hey, hey, hey, guys, look at this. Get off my cloud. This first letter, you know, pertains to or we're just talking about, these live shows.
Starting point is 01:13:45 This is from Jame last name with Held, who writes. See you at your live show at the Aladdin on January 25th. My son won't let me come home from the show without his signed dedication and his copy of Sharko and Hippo. So don't let me down. I love my family and would miss them terribly. Don't know if you guys have excellent advanced PR work or just a fan at the best historic community
Starting point is 01:14:10 on the theater of the world, but I just nap tickets to the Hollywood theaters January 20th showing of cool as ice. I was wondering how I'd be able to sit down and enjoy the movie as opposed to just slogging through it alone on my sofa before your show. And this is it. It's that is that is a blast to watch with a crack.
Starting point is 01:14:28 It is. Stuart and I do. Do we introduce it? Yeah, we do introduction of the Nighthawk. It's a nighthawk and boy was that fun. So if you this this enterprising listener who may or may not have some attachment to this theater, who knows, but it's good to get out there. I don't even know why you would plant that suspicion in the minds of the listeners.
Starting point is 01:14:49 I mean, either way. It fixes in. I don't care because if you want to see this movie before the show, the best way to do it is probably with a big audience. Yeah. And it's a lot of fun as a bad movie. So this person says, if you've got a chance between now and the 20th, let the world know they can join fellow flop fans of the Hollywood Five Days before your show.
Starting point is 01:15:12 And they also say if you've any free time in Portland, drop by movie madness, the video store owned by the Hollywood theater and see their memorabilia along with a stunning collection of rentable movies. So that's a tip right there in the world. Or rent, wait, you can rent a movie? Uh, yeah. Okay. In this economy.
Starting point is 01:15:33 I mean, this economy like renting them piecemeal would probably be better than. Yeah. He's nearly like a scene at a time like on the installment. You think that's right? Uh-huh. A pennyion minute. And that's a pretty good deal for regular length movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:53 Yeah. Well, let's start it. Okay. Oh, yeah. I should have a plot. I'll have some pivot into pinion minute movie ripples. Yeah, it's called. First, we have to buy up a catalog. Yeah, Pennyworth movies. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:16:07 and when and when your time's up like a little screen lowers down over your screen, so you can't see it anymore. Yeah, and you could talk to the movie on a little handset phone. Yeah, Ellie knows. Ellie's been there. No, I haven't. Ellie knows what I'm talking about. He's a nasty boy. I'm not. Elliot's the nicest boy. What is it this next? I'm not that nice. Let's, I'm middle. I'm in the middle.
Starting point is 01:16:33 This next later, this next little, this next little, it has holes in it so it doesn't hold the suit that well, but you could, like, you could get a potato out of a stew with it. Right for your needs. I guess during our recording break, Dan did a bunch of whippets. This next ladder. This next letter goes like this.
Starting point is 01:16:55 Why do birds suddenly appear every time you talk about movies? Scott last name with hell, but it's me, Weinberg, the overhated guy from the Artemis file episode makes a good point. Why are all these birds in here? Elliot. You don't want to leave your windows open when you record? No, that's true. That's a lovely, a lovely poem by Scott Ryan.
Starting point is 01:17:17 He has got a regional work. I just find out that Dan's wife doesn't like poetry and I'm like any kind, not even like commercial jingles. Not even a car in a camera. It's a song. Yeah. No, I get it. I mean, there's some poetry I like, but it's of the of the written arts.
Starting point is 01:17:45 I'm just like, why don't you just give this to me and some pros? Pros work pretty well because because. No, no, thank you. Plot owned. Is it that? Is it that beautiful? Robert Frost just tell me that I should take some chances sometimes. Yeah, I get it. Robert Frost just tell me that I should take some chances sometimes. Yeah. Keats. I just hold down.
Starting point is 01:18:06 I get it. And, Grille and Poe, you're sad your wife died. There's a bird in the room. I left you, you left your windows open too. I get it. Maybe it's controversial. I'm just not going to sit down and read a lot of poetry. That's, I'm not trying to say that no one should feel that way or everyone should feel
Starting point is 01:18:24 it way. Like people should. I mean, I feel like the New York Times agrees with you. Didn't they just in their poetry calls? Not that. And they did. Dan, now I'm imagining you sitting next to the ancient Mariner going, speed it up. Will you? I'm going to take a long time to tell. And they do need to get to a wedding. Yeah, this is true. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you killed a bird and then things went south for you. I get it, man. I mean, guys, if a dude just walked up to you on the street and started telling you
Starting point is 01:18:55 this story, right, you'd be like, get out of here, man. I mean, you know, man, just, and I have to be somewhere. Again, they're on their way to a wedding and he's like, you know, I'm going to tell you more. Is that a bird around your neck? And he's like, you know, like, is that I tell you more? Is that a bird around your neck? And he's like, well, it's a long story. He's like, no, I'm not interested. No, no, let me tell you.
Starting point is 01:19:11 So well, not to nitpick, he doesn't have the bird anymore. It fell off of his neck when he realized that all God's creatures should be loved. So you're saying that maybe he put, he just got used to it. Now he has a different bird around his neck. Yeah. Well, it's a style thing. He's used to that fucking bling. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:26 That's right. He's like, now we got a peacock around my neck. Pretty sharp, right? I mean, damn, that's a cool bird. I wonder what its brains would taste like. Got to make us who fly out of them. Let's move into a casserole. What did the sun king eat?
Starting point is 01:19:42 Yeah. Like casseroles with peacock brains or something. Something like that. Let's move into the... That eat? Yeah, like castorals with peacock brains or some crap like that. Let's move into the letters bag. That was the letters segment. We sewed it up tight. No letters can't get out anymore. Keep your rise on that bag. The letters are trying to escape. And if they do, all hell will break loose. We got to keep them in there. Luckily, we hired a new security guard, Ben Stiller. Oh, no. Some shenanigans are going to have it overnight. That's right. It's night at the letter, bag, night at the letter, bag the letters are closed. Okay. Well's bring this episode to a close with the final segment, which is pardon me, recommendations
Starting point is 01:20:34 of movies that you should definitely watch instead of this. I mean, you don't have to watch it. I'm just like, don't watch. No, if I were to say, I should be just don't't watch Rebel moon watch no movies at all. Yeah, if Rebel moon's the only option then yeah, don't read don't sit around read poetry. If that's what you enjoy God bless you, I'm just saying it's never Yeah God bless you with the beauty of poetry. He's just some poets I like like yates. Yates is good stuff.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Name two yates bombs you like, now challenging Dan. There's that one about walks off Lee because I'm walking on my dream. You're walking my dreams and there's that one about, you know, how the Falcon can. Here's a Falconer anymore. Cause the guy who has widened two minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what rough beast, et cetera. Anyway, okay, what's another part that you like? So yates, okay. Billy Butler.
Starting point is 01:21:27 There's some Dickinson I like, you know, she keeps it short. I like it. So you, what you do with this is, is you're a poet, you like poetry that doesn't take up your time. Mm hmm. You're not one for a Santa topsis. There's that variations on a theme by William Carlos Williams. It was a very funny poem. But can talk. Thank you. Look, that one up. You're more of an Ogden Nash type poetry reader, short silly poems.
Starting point is 01:21:52 I mean, if I had a choice between a short and silly poem and a long and non-silly poem, yes, I'm going to go with short and silly. That's my personal preference. Again, apologies, if I've broken the hearts of any poets out there. You know, if you find beauty, that's enough. You know what? Anyway. Up, let hold on.
Starting point is 01:22:13 There's some angry letters coming through the transome right now from a first name, first name with held Neruda. Oh no. I'm familiar with his works. Okay. But here's one from William Carlos last name with hell. Thanks, Dan. Sure.
Starting point is 01:22:29 Yeah. Well, he shouldn't have eaten my goddamn plums if he wanted me to like his shit. He was so busy worrying about that meal. I'm saying that. So much to bring in on that meal. Okay. Okay. He didn't, he shouldn't have eaten those plums.
Starting point is 01:22:42 Yeah. So speaking of movies, yeah, these are ones we're recommending. I caught up with William Friedkin passed away. I caught up with his last film, The Cain Meat and E. Quart Marshall, which in a lot of ways is a return to how he started out shooting plays for television. And it's a movie that like, look, it doesn't have a lot of visual pyrotechnics, although I think that the shots and the editing is very carefully chosen, but it takes almost all that takes place in the courtroom. Almost all of it is a court case, a fairly realistically presented court case.
Starting point is 01:23:32 And so if you're looking for a lot of vivid style and big incident, it's not a film for you. and big incident, it's not a film for you, but it shows that what a group of talented actors, a very great talented cast for that, a talented director can do with material that is a very traditional courtroom drama and how much drama can be rung out of that. And I, it seems like I'm damning with fainting praise. I'm just saying that, you know, like,
Starting point is 01:24:09 yeah, probably in the span of Freakin's works, it's a more minor one, but it's one that I enjoyed watching and is widely available right now. If you have, I think it's on showtime, which comes bundled with Paramount Plus these days. Paramount Plus with showtime, a thing that could have been avoided if they just said Paramount Plus showtime, but they didn't. Or if everyone decided that merging all things into one big thing, like a hellish media catamari policy was not the right thing to do. What, who's looking into buying Paramount Plus now?
Starting point is 01:24:50 Like I feel like that's being merged into Jesus. Right. Wasn't Warner Brothers Discovery gonna buy Paramount? Yeah. Right. So I guess we just hold on to our new folks, monopoly thing, and regulating the service stuff. We did give up on that. Well, we don't need to get in that here, but I think because the entertainment business
Starting point is 01:25:09 is considered a not serious business, it is often not given the same regulatory type. It's one of our top exports as a nation anyway. Yeah, okay, cool. I agree with you, Dan. I'm not telling you. We're on your side. Yeah, come on.. I agree with you, Dan. I'm not. I'm not. We're on your side. Yeah, come on. That was directed at you. I was incense, still it specifically. Okay. I'll team up with you, Dan. Well, just because I'm the head of the Justice Department anti-antitrust division.
Starting point is 01:25:38 Yes. I just like you like I just like poetry now. Oh, man. Okay. So, Dan says, Elliot, you're a poem. That's not a compliment. We since since we're recommending movies about courtroom stuff, I'm going to recommend. I'm going to recommend anatomy of a fall came out this year, it's from France. And yeah, it's really great. It's, I mean, right away, it's about a family and the husband dies and the resulting court case that is tied with that and how in the process of litigating this murder, death, suicide, who knows? They end up kind of litigating the relationship between these people. And it's really great. And I liked a lot. And there's a very good dog actor who is a very good boy. And don't worry, nothing really bad happens to it. It's a European movie, so it's about ambiguity. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Dan's right. Wait, did you know, did you know that? Or did you just guess because you're a film? I just assumed that the movie's not. I'm going to recommend a not new movie because I am behind on my screeners and I buy a behind on my screeners. I mean, each time I bet to recommend something, it turns out Stewart has recommended it in episode two before me. That's right.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Stewart's got his finger on the pulse of good ass new movies. Yeah, so I'm going to recommend an old artsy thing that I assume Stewart has not seen. This is a short film. It's not super short. It's like like 50 minutes long or something like that. From 19 a one1 called, you are not I, it was made by Sarah Driver, and Jim Jarmish is the cinematographer on it. That's the world that kind of comes out of. And it is a story about a woman,
Starting point is 01:27:36 a lot of voice-over narration about a woman who is disturbed and manages to escape from the asylum that she's been sent to because there's a car crash outside and it becomes a distraction that she can kind of use to get out and eventually she is taken to her, the home of her sister who had initially sent her this asylum and a sort of low-key battle of wills. Wait a minute, low-key's in it? No, okay, I said it wrong. Maybe a creepy, but not overtly violence, battle of wills. Okay, cool. And now you're like the Journal of the Wills, the original screenplay for Star Wars.
Starting point is 01:28:12 And I'm like, no. And I found it to be one of the better movies I've seen about taking me into a mindset that is not understanding reality in an accurate way, let's say. And I found it really eerie and had a really great atmosphere to it. So that is you are not I and it's a short film that you should be able to find. So the letter you are. No, no, the word you, why oh you are not I. The letter I as in the word I think that letters are different. It's not spelled the way that like a hip-hop song
Starting point is 01:28:52 from the 90s would be 40. No, that was the original title of this is 45. Yeah. Oh man, no to then on sometimes I BS. Eaching. Um, and don't miss folks. Um, so what do we do next now? The joint manned current movies and talked about poetry. But for days, they get a food joke you best not miss. That's out because I'm coughing and laughing. Well, there's a, a coughing is a portmanteau of coughing and laughing. Oh, laughing is also a portmanteau of laughing. What do we do at this point in the podcast? Oh, this is a part where we think our editor, Alex Smith, you can find him all over the
Starting point is 01:29:42 internet under the name Howell Dottie and sometimes under his actual name. We want to thank Max Momfun, our podcasting network without them. It would be a lot harder to do this significantly hard. It would involve a lot of work that we don't want to do. So thank you. And if you want to check out other great podcasts on the network, go to maximumfund.org.
Starting point is 01:30:09 If you want to buy a jumbo tron, we didn't mention it before, but over at maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron, that's where that happens. And if you want to, leave us a kind review on iTunes probably, or someplace else if there's a place that takes podcast reviews, we'll take that as well. But anyway, I like to cover all the bases. Pick up a copy of the fucking peddlers post, scrolled in the margins. But for this episode of the Flapphouse, I have been Dan McCoy. Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliott Kaelin saying, rebel moon to you. Happy New Year, bye.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Bye, 45. God, he's sweltering in here or is it me? That's your going through the changes buddy. Yeah, Dan, I think you're going through Danipaus. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned Network. Of Artist-owned Shows. Supported. Directly.
Starting point is 01:31:33 By You.

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