The Flop House - Ep.#429 - Under Paris

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

What's scarier than sharks? How about FRENCH sharks?!? The Flop House goes international to discuss the French-produced, Netflix-released shark attack thriller Under Paris (aka "Sous la Seine"). And hey, while you're listening, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!"Also, for all those Hallie fans out there, remember that our next streaming show "Three Men and a Hallie" has tickets on sale now!Wikipedia page for Under ParisRecommended in this episode:Maxxxine (2024)Longlegs (2024)Wolf's Hole (1987)Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP  to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

On this episode we discuss Under Paris. That's what it's called? Yes, that's what it's called. I think that works. I can't even remember. Let me look. Under Paris? Yeah, it's Under Paris.

You don't have to look. I just watched it. Okay. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy. Oh hey there Dan McCoy, it's me, Stuart Wellington, your friend. Oh. And another friend of yours who is also here is me, Elliot Kalin. And later in the show, I'm going to be telling everybody

about our upcoming live streaming video. Well, it's not live, or our streaming video premiere event. Anyway, we've got an all new stage pilot, edited and shot video of one of our live shows. If you weren't at that show, you never seen it and guess what it's got Special guest Hallie Hagland the star of the show in that show if you want to know more about it You just cannot wait go to flophouse podcast comm events and look for three men into Hallie

Otherwise wait till later in the episode and I'll tell you all about it. You can be patient or impatient. It's your choice You're you're the boss of your life. Yeah. You're in control of your own emotions, which is a thing I didn't learn until way too late in life, you know? Wait, you're in control of your emotions? I know.

So why are you like this? I know, well, I can be. Let's say it's within my power. You're accountable for that. I'm weak, like all of humanity. By the way, you don't have the strength of a newly evolved strain of super shark, let's say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sigma male super shark. Well, first, I'd like to thank you both for identifying yourself as my friend. So I know why I've welcomed you into my home, Stuart in person, Elliot virtually. Secondly, I should explain to- Do you only watch TV shows starring people that are your friends? Yeah. Yeah. Unless you're out of the house.

Like Dave Letterman always used to say. Yeah, that's true. What was I saying? Oh yeah, for new listeners, and I don't recommend it. Not, not, not I don't recommend listening to the show. I don't recommend being a new listener. You really should have been a listener for a long time. Yeah, Dan.

For someone who's just bringing about controlling his own emotions, you're asking people to control the flow of time at this point. Yeah, well... No, get there, Aston. I'm waiting. Roasting from not listening before. There's a little baby who could not have listened before. It was just born yesterday.

And it's like, Google Gaga, let me try, and then Dan said that, and it's going wah wah wah. Yeah, there's a guy who had his ears blown off and he had to get transplanted ears, and he's listening for the first time, and he's like, I'm gonna finally check out a cool podcast. Yeah, I mean, there are situations. He's like, ever since they transplanted

the ears of a serial killer onto my head, I've only been able to hear the screams of his victims. Maybe this podcast will help cover that. I mean, in that baby's case, obviously, it was the mother's fault for not playing the podcast to the baby in utero, but without- Wait, is the baby a serial killer? What's the-

These are two different stories, Stuart. Yes, the baby will grow up to be a serial killer, but it's unrelated, yeah. The point is, I was trying to set the stage by letting new listeners know that this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Now, when I say bad movie, we don't really know. We haven't seen it before, but that's the word on the street. So we'll let you know what we think. It's a little podcast called The Flophouse. You're listening to it already. Coming soon. The crazy thing is Dan has this whole thing scripted out and written down.

Meticulously. It says in parentheses, as if not sure what he's talking about. I also anticipated all of your interjections. So anyway, for this episode, as we said, we watched Under Paris? Under Paris, yeah. Okay. Or as I pitched it to Netflix, it should be called Swimily and Perry because then there's synergy. What kind of notes did you get back on that one?

They're not answering my emails. That's understandable. Because this is a Netflix movie, so in order for us to watch it, I had to email Netflix and then they put, within three to five business days, they put the DVD in the mail and send it to me. It arrived, I put it in my Xbox 360, which played it. Okay. I mean, this is Netflix in America. I think, you know, was this in France a theatrical release?

I don't know. It was an international hit according to Netflix. It was a big hit when it first dropped on I mean everything they have is a now It's washing up on our shores like they're alive like a Mako shark or a new species of shark question mark Anyway, I'm spoiling the summer. I think we should mention one thing We should mention it's called under Paris and this is I believe the first French language movie that we have ever covered on the podcast, right? Yeah, I mean we did the... Quebecois...

Yeah. Celine Dion, yeah. But that was... I think that was in French, wasn't it? For some of it, at least. Which one was that? It was the one that was not about Celine Dion, but it was about Celine Dion. With the morph? The baby face on the... That was mostly in French. Forget what I said.

Erase what I said. I completely forgot adult head on top of baby body. I would say you blocked it out rather than you forgot it. This is the second episode of Le Chateau du Flop, rather than the first episode. It is. I believe you called it Le Chateau du Flop. Yeah. So this is the second French language movie that we've done.

But the first French language movie from, but that's all France rather than Canadian French language. Should I get the scoreboard out again? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think you have to. Well, and if you're a listener who likes to categorize all the episodes after you download them and save them, you can put this into the Chateau de Flop section. Yeah.

OK, guys, I did the summary on this one. you can put this into the Chateau de Flam section. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, guys, I did the summary on this one, as I said. I did it yelling into my notes app, doing dictation, because I was on the treadmill. But you know what? I think it caught some of the magic and excitement of this nail biting adventure. It's a balls to the wall.

Thrill ride? Fish fest, yeah. It's a balls-the-wall fish fest. Yeah, it's a real thrill ride. So, of course, the movie begins with a quote. The species that survive aren't the strongest, nor the most intelligent, but the best to adapt to change. How do you feel about that, Dan? I mean, it's just, you know, it's a Charles Darwin quote. Well, what I like about this is that just you know it's a Charles Darwin quote about

emolition. Then it said adapted from Charles Darwin. They didn't get an exact quote. They were like hey he's long-winded let's just let's just give it give the gist of it you know the spirit. I was gonna say I buy it coming from the source but it's possible then that they retrofitted it to the theme of the movie which is that sharks are going to conquer the earth Do you think they I do think they had like do you think they initially were like? Do we really want to write out the quote or do we just want to write? Strongest and then have like a regular like barely firing brain like most intelligent slightly firing brain

Most able to adapt and then it's like galaxy brain. I think they could have said strongest and then the words best fitted in the form of a shark could then gobble up those words. Most movies don't typically start with memes, but I don't know why it hasn't happened yet. I'm kind of shocked actually. So you'd say like you're going to make a movie and you're gonna start it with with like Dr. Phil is a green Eminem getting married to Shrek just to give me energy Is that a meme or just like a piece of really good artwork?

I guess at this point the main of all these are just long memes I mean in a lot of ways movie the thing is movies for the longest time had been a source for meme content Wouldn't it be interesting if The movie was the me Guarantees to it someone's been trying to sell movies based on memes. I assume Like he's actually Looking over his shoulder at the woman in the red dress, ignoring his girlfriend. What's their deal?

It's pretty obvious. You're probably wondering how he got to this place. And Dan, I just want to correct, Stuart is not Marshall McLuhan, he's Marshall McGluehands. He accidentally got glue on his hands and got them stuck on a copy of The Medium is the Message. So, guys, we're pretty deep into this movie already. Let's keep pushing for it. Let's keep going through this mess. So, the movie opens on the garbage patch in the Atlantic Ocean.

We have a team of French scientists. Where the kids are from, the garbage patch kids. I knew you fuckers was going to make that joke when I walked out of the room. The only reason Elliot beat me to it was my more natural inclination to not jump in in the middle of the sentence. You were also drinking coffee, I think. I'll show you. There are two impediments. Okay, so this team of divers is led by a scientist named Sophie or Sophia.

The rest of the team, I don't think get names. But one of them is her husband. So they're like floating around tagging sharks. They're doing some kind of shark tagging. I just want to mention, Sofia is played by Berenice Bejo from The Artist. You'd recognize her possibly from the best picture winner, The Artist.

Oh yeah, the movie that everyone remembers. I don't think that that's true. The Artist, you called it? Yeah, yeah, it was called it. It was from 2011, another French movie, one best picture. It was literally the best movie that came out that you've won from France. It was mostly silent in black and white. I don't, in when did it come out and it was silent?

2011, you were a grown adult at the time. This doesn't sound familiar. And it stars Eddie the dog from Frasier. Oh, the dog, I remember the dog, yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, so these four divers jump in, they're tagging sharks, they're swimming around the garbage batch. They find a baby sperm whale that's caught up in all the trash. They get closer to it and that sperm whale's got like trash coming out of its mouth.

If it wasn't like kind of ridiculous how much trash was stuffed into this whale, it would be sad. It's also like, you know, it's a whale actor, right? It's not like a tiger. No, I think it's probably a fake whale. Yeah. We're stuffed full of garbage for this movie. But like many podcasters, the whale is just spewing garbage from its mouth. You know?

Yeah, got us. So they of course see, they see a whole bunch of sharks. They see an extra big shark that I think is there like, the one they're tracking. And I don't know if at this point they've already nicknamed her, but this shark for the rest of the movie will be named Lilith. For reasons to be explained. Because she's Frazier's and she's Niles's.

It's all Frazier's. Which one was Frazier's? Eddie the dog. And was it Freddy? Was Frazier's wife or Niles's wife? Eddie and Freddy. The thing is that Elliot is Niles.? Was Frazier's wife, or Niles's wife? It was Lillith. So the thing is that Elliot is Niles, Dan is Frazier, and I'm Frazier's dad. I think that's the clearest through line here, right?

You're kind of a Roz. I was going to say you're kind of a Roz also. I'm the only one who didn't get an Emmy. Which sucks, that sucks. But you're also the only one that people would want to hang out with in real life. Thank you. You wouldn't want to hang out with Daphne? Alright. I guess Daphne, yeah, sure.

I would be intimidated by Daphne. Anyway, that's a lot of Frasier talk for a shark podcast. Well, I guess I'll throw out the rest of my Frasier notes. So they tag the shark to all the sharks attack. They start chomping on everybody. Sophia jumps into the water, try and rescue them with a harpoon gun. She, instead of rescuing them, just finds her husband's severed arm floating there with his wedding ring very center

frame. And then she sees Lilith the shark. I think she does she like attack it or something? And then... She spears it, which then like gets her hooked to the shark. She gets caught in the rope or the net or whatever. Yeah. And it drags her deep underwater to the point that the pressure starts to like make her ears bleed

and her mouth bleeds. And she cuts herself free after this happens. I would like to talk about this. Because she gets dragged deep enough under, first off, she jumps in to try and rescue any survivors and she does it with such speed that she doesn't have any scooby gear on. So she's just free diving.

Did you just say scooby gear? Yeah, she doesn't have any scooby gear on, so she's just free diving. Did you just say scooby gear? Yeah, I said, she doesn't have any scooby gear on. Yeah, she doesn't have dog ears, she's not wearing a dog collar, yeah. Yeah, she's wearing Scooby Doo themed crocs or anything. No, she doesn't have any scooby deer on, she's free diving, and she's underwater a long time holding her breath before the shark,

then pulls her far enough underwater that her eardrum bursts. And then she goes up. Now is that from the pressure of the water or is it from the speed that she's being pulled through the water? I took that to mean that she was down so far that the pressure was not right for her.

And then she went up so fast without any. Without getting the bends? Yeah. And am I imagining things or when that happened, did it do like a little x-ray of her ear drum exploding, like it's like an x-ray attack for Mortal Kombat? I don't think it was an x-ray, it was like sort of an insert close-up

where you saw like the sort of the blood puff out of her ear. I will say when she does, she cuts herself free, she rises to the surface and then it's like a slow-mo shot of her breaching the water surrounded by garbage with like blood everywhere, and I'm like, this is pretty dope actually. Yeah. And then we get a title card.

Yeah, there's a couple moments in this movie where I'm like, movie, you should have done more of this. More of this, please, yum, yum, yum. Okay, three years later, yeah yum. OK, three years later. Yeah, title card three years later. We're in Paris. How do we know that? Because we see the Seine and the Eiffel Tower or Tour d'Eiffel in the background. Wow, this this guy knows his parents. Oh, he's proving it.

French Stewart is here. Now, Paris, Paris is a buzz. They are. When I say French Stewart, I don't mean the personal French Stewart I just mean Stewart who is French. Yeah Rock from the Sun Star French Stewart, yeah And not Stewart's French's which is his mustard that he carries around with this bitch is always talking about mustard, right? Okay, so and France is a all of all of Paris is a buzz they are preparing for an upcoming Triathlon which in some ways is marrying the mirroring the upcoming Olympics. What do you guys think? What do you think it's a reference to the upcoming Olympics? I guess I mean I did like I I was not aware that like

This was such a big thing that I don't know, like the whole city is closing down for a major triathlon that they swim the sand. That they're gonna clean up the sand for it. The New York Marathon's a big deal. Yeah, it is. I have two theories about this. One, it is that they wanted to do it about the Olympics and the Olympic committee said,

you cannot use our logo in your shark movie. And so they made a triathlon. Or they're just, then triathlons can be really big, especially in the city like Paris that needs attention. People don't go there. People haven't heard of it. It's an unknown city. I am not saying that it can't be big.

I'm saying that it is apparently big to the point that the mayor of Paris later talks about how they have like filtered the water of the sin so that people can swim in it. And it mainly feels weird because the amount of people swimming and participating doesn't seem particularly large. But I think they are going in waves. And when we get to the amount of spectators who are there is tiny.

It seems like there is nobody watching this major event. All their digital effects budget went to sharks. I mean, as it should. If they were like, well, we can only afford one shark because we made this huge crowd of attendees at the triathlon. Yeah, that's a priorities problem. OK, so we have some river cops.

Those river cops find, led by Adil, who is the hero river cop, he's like this handsome dude, they find, thanks to some kids who are fishing for scrap, they find a bunch of unexploded ordinance in the river. Don't worry, that'll matter later. What's an ordinate, Stuart? Ordnance is like ammunition, weaponry, explosives, that sort of thing.

I saw the film, so I understand what you're talking about, but it seemed like a more unfamiliar word to me. You are being the audience surrogate in this case Yeah for me to explain the the details of my choice of words. Okay, so Warhammer aficionados The term ordinance would be a warhammer game You know, I'm I'm just generally like for a middle-aged man, I do not know shit about war shit. It's because you don't have kids.

If you had kids, you would be like the biggest World War II nerd. That's right. If you were a dad, you'd be all about military history. It's all you'd want to talk about. I feel like Hemingway is Dan's entrance to, like, I feel like if we want to get Dan into war shit, we got to get him into Hemingway first. I do not like Hemingway particularly.

I find like I like what... What about the Hemingway? What about Mariel Hemingway or Margo Hemingway? Could that get you into war stuff? I was reading Ursula K. Le Guin's book about writing, Steering the Craft. I was really taken with like she had a line in there. I can't quote it because I can't remember the exact details but she was talking about how like there's this idea that this sort of like terse unaffected prose is like more real or something and

she's like what a what bigger affectation can there be to strip it down to like the most you know simple sentences guys Ursula K. Le Guin, she's so fucking cool. Yeah, she really is. She's a fucking goat. I was reading a lot of her this summer by coincidence. I will say this one thing. They have this big triathlon. All of Paris is about it.

Not yet, that's gonna happen later. No, but they're planning it. To the point that when they know there's a shark there, they're like, we can't tell anybody about it. It never seems to occur to anybody that it's a major problem for a triathlon that the river is full of unexploded munitions. They're garbage. I mean, garbage. Yeah, like from my understanding, it's a famously not.

You don't want to swim in that river type river like a Guamas Canal type situation. Like the East River. Yeah. Where you're like, this looks pretty from the right angle or the right distance, but it's not. You don't want to be inside of River. Yeah, where you're like this looks pretty from the right angle or the right distance But it's not you don't want to be inside of it. Yeah Now I'm sure it's not like the sin in this novel that I've been reading between two fires Which is this awesome like black plague set like dark medieval fantasy. You should check it out if you like that shit It's like the most dark souls. He's garbage. But like yeah, the sin is filled with like chopped up bodies and demons and crap You don't want to go there. So that's not this. I think the real modern sin as

portrayed in the movie under Paris is not full of chopped up bodies and demons. Yeah. until the sharks get in. They may be chopped up like demons, right? Yeah. sharks are one of the rare animals that when like in in a movie, I don't feel as bad when they get like exploded and stuff like all other animals for some. I don't know why bad when they get like exploded and stuff, like all other animals for some, I don't know why, is it because they're not mammals? I don't know, like even like dragons and like...

I think Jaws trained you to just think of them as like a monster probably. Unstoppable killing machines. Yeah, you're probably right. Even a show about sharks, they're always like, it's the perfect eating machine. But there's something about shark eyes, their black like doll's eyes. Nobody's ever mentioned their eyes before

But also they have they have an expression on their face that does seem particularly devoid of emotion or thought or feeling But you know what they're living things too. They're all God's creatures I'm sure when you're right that day or something and he went this is badass I'm gonna make the teeth kind of stick out all in different directions Elliot this raises a good point you of course kind of stick out all in different directions. Elliott, this raises a good point. You of course are a shark expert, I assume, from all the research you did for Sharko and Hippo.

Yes, exactly. How accurate was this film to sharks? I think if you take the word accurate, and I think if you want to put an in in the front, just to say that it is in a state of total accuracy. Yeah, that's interesting. Okay. But I think most times, nothing in my research about sharks came up with the idea that they could,

within one generation, develop parthenogenesis and also a sort of communal beehive structure. Sick, now it rules. That has something to do with the garbage, I think. I think that was what the movie was trying to imply. The movie is so close to saying radioactive stuff turned these sharks into mutant sharks, and it never quite clears that hurdle. So it's been three years later, let these sharks into mutant sharks. And it never clears that that hurdle, you know.

So it's been three years later. Let's check in with Sophia. And now she is a guide in the at an aquarium. Some some school kids Google her while she's taking them on a tour. And this was the most unbelievable thing. Her friends died. The most unbelievable thing in the movie is that these kids would be interested enough in her backstory to Google her while she's giving them the tour. And like what do they do? they like reverse image search her?

Like, are they fucking Neve and Cammie from Catfish? How'd they figure this one out? Okay, so after her shift, she runs into Mika, I believe her name is, who is a climate activist and is a member of a thing called SOS, which stands for Save RCs, and they are this group of eco-activists who operate out of like a rundown, build like an empty museum or something. It's a really cool base. And they have like hackers, they have laptops, and at one point she's using a mouse that has like shark attack or something, or like shark sa attack or something,

or like shark saver or something. It's one of these groups of people that are so cool that they refuse to work with overhead lights turned on. And so it's just a lot of monitor screens and lamps all over the place. And this huge French apartment, old French apartments look like museum rooms. I love this because this is like, this is classic movie bullshit that this eco, you know, Save Our Seas group would have like this sort of techno, but also broken down place that they hung out. And Audrey was pointing out while we're watching it,

like, I mean, this is true of like a lot of movies, but she's like, this is like, this is like Moonfall where the disgraced person with the tragic backstory has to team up with the person with like some kooky ideas Yeah, but then it then it diverges from the diverse to not to not believe that well, there's no moon that falls That's one big. Yeah, that's one of the big yeah They they reveal that they've been tracking they have hacked into the like shark tracking software And they've been back into anything. I was waiting for the moment where they're like we've hacked into the like shark tracking software. They seem to be able to hack into anything.

I was waiting for the moment where they're like, we've hacked into the shark, we can control it now. I mean honestly, that would have saved them a lot of trouble. It would have, that's true. So they hacked into the shark tracking information and they also reveal that they have the ability to turn off the trackers if they want to protect one of these sharks. Which seems like a bad idea when we're dealing with killer sharks, but don't worry about it.

So they have tracked Lilith from wherever she was all the way to the Sen River. Uh oh, she's in... Wait a minute, she's like a normal big-ass shark. She's not like a bull shark that like swims up the Ganges and stuff. This is a regular ass shark. It shouldn't be able to survive in the Sen. I guess it must have adapted thanks to pollution. Thanks. Remember? Pollution. What Darwin said?

Well, again, this is the exact opposite of what Darwin said, which is, so Lamarck, who came before Darwin, would have said, oh yeah, animals can develop new adaptations while they're alive to do, like the giraffe stretched its neck out until its neck grew to be long. Whereas Darwin would say... Is that real? Is that how they did it? No, it is not. It's sheer force of will? Yeah, it's like a street fire.

No, no, no. What I'm telling you is, yeah, it's like Dulcene. I mean, Dulcene has powerful yoga magic, Dan. Am I going to get that? Darwin would have said, the random hand of natural selection allows for genetic mutations that are more, that are better suited for an environment and allow a greater chance to mate and reproduce

and spread those genes. That is random genetic mutation that is then takes the opportunity available in the environment, but there's no conscious thing to it. It doesn't happen within one organism. It is through generations of time. And so the idea that they're like, yeah, as Darwin said,

sharks can kind of grow the ability to drink fresh water. Like it's just, it doesn't, it's all made up nonsense. They're breathing it. Yeah, breathe. So... Blue sharks are drinking all that water. So Sophia's like, Sophia doesn't want to get involved in this mess. She goes back to her sad apartment and just watches videos of her old friends getting eaten by sharks.

Mika and T... She's like, you know, at the beginning it's like all fun and games and like she's reminiscing. And then the shark attack happens and she like cries and it's like, what were you thinking was going to happen? It's the classic guy, cop who lost his wife watching the wedding video at night to be sad But it's like enjoying her better times But yet is like it is she does forget that in this shark footage mega mix she put together it ends with the attack That killed her for us classic classic Ray finds in strange days like

Remembering hanging out Juliette Lewis all the time. I get it waiting around strange days like remembering hanging out with Juliette Lewis all the time. I get it. Exactly. Rollerblading around. Oh man, I get it. I don't want... What I think about when I think about Ralph Fiennes is that man looks like he rollerblades a lot. Yeah, yeah.

Oh man. Oh, strange things rules. Okay, so Mika and her friend go out into the river. She goes diving into a very dirty river. She finds a car that has bite marks by the door handle. Shark bites, it's really great. And then they get caught by the cops. Mika gets arrested.

All this is witnessed by Sophie, who's been tracking them on a laptop, or iPad. Around now, like a homeless camp gets eaten by a shark, presumably. I think just one person, right, gets eaten by a shark? Yeah, but there was like a couple of guys hanging around there. And then when Sophia shows up, there's just the guy's dog and nobody else and all their stuff still there.

Oh, that's right. The shark didn't steal the stuff? Cops obviously. The shark is like a neutron bomb, Dan. It's not interested in possessions or objects. It just wants to kill people. And it does. It kills a lot of people.

I mean, they actually kill very few people per year compared to other animals. Oh, okay. I thought we were talking about this movie. In the movie, they kill a lot of people. Yeah. I'd be like, if you thought that was a few people, I'd be very scared. Oh, it says he's never killed anyone. At least he's a world leader with that level of disregard for human life.

All I'm saying is you kill one person, you're a monster. You kill ten, you're a shark. You kill a million, you're a god. So come on, guys. Yeah, that's cool. I saw it on a t-shirt. Yeah, I think Homelander said it on The Boys. Okay, so the cops find a... They obviously don't believe stories of a giant

shark in the sand. But then they find a partially eaten body of one of those homeless guys that they were like friends with. So of course they're fucked up about it. And Sophia shows up and she's like, Yeah, that's a shark. The shark ate him and they're like, Okay, so we're gonna go dive in after the shark. And she's like, that's a bad idea because it just ate those guys. So of course they go diving in. It has a taste for human blood. It wants it now, yeah.

And they're like, whoa, the river's not deep enough to support the shark. Where's the shark hiding? Well, of course they find an entrance, a submerged entrance to the Parisian catacombs. It is funny, they're like- Normally the haunts of ghouls and stuff. They're like, where could this shark be hiding

in a city that is famously full of underground tunnels? Where could it be going to? I like the idea of a store now called Ghouls and Stuff. Man, I would love that. Yeah, I really wish there was a sequence where the sharks start fighting them, and then the sharks start fighting a bunch of like like ghouls Draped in like rotting finery of like nobility

At the very least if they're fighting if the people are fighting the sharks in the catacombs They have to like wrench bones out of the walls and hit the sharks with them, you know things like that I don't think we see anything like that. Do we have you ever? Yeah, have you ever seen they we don't see that Have you ever read that book, what is it? It's a collection of short stories, like Throne of Bones. Winesburg, Ohio, by Sherwood Anderson? Nope, this is all about ghouls. It's all awesome short stories about ghouls.

I can't remember who wrote it, but it's really dope. Winesburg, Ghoul-Hio, by Sherwood Screamderson? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so, they... Where are we at? Where are we at? Oh, here we are. Sorry. Let me go through my notes here.

Stewart, for those who are not watching a clip of this with video... For those who haven't set up a CCTV camera in Dan's apartment to secretly watch our recordings. Stewart's notes are on a guest check pad. As a bartender, as a member of the service profession, he has, of course, access to these guests. I mean, anyone does. You can buy them. But he grabbed it as a notepad.

Go to Staples. It doesn't lay flat, so he keeps flipping back to previous pages of his notes. So they find the entrance to the Catacombs, devoid of ghouls, unfortunately. They do see the shadow of giant Lilith the shark. Right around now, SOS use their hacker abilities and they cut the tracker, so this shark is now Untracked.

That's the name of the movie, should have been Untracked. Yeah, and around here is when you- I don't think so. I mean, Under Paris is not a great name, but Untracked is even less specific to what's going on in the movie. This is around the point where you start suspecting that these eco-terrorists are not supposed to be

these eco-terrorists are not supposed to be entirely likeable in the film. Like, you know, we're not supposed to sympathize with their desire to save this shark, which we already, you know, we're watching a killer shark movie. We already know that this is a foolish desire. In real life, certainly. Get the shark out to open water. It's probably not going to attack anyone. In the killer shark movie, we know that these are not going to be our heroes per se. And this movie has an interestingly confused relationships.

I feel like every movie like this that has like eco-activists, they're always like, the eco-activists are so dumb that they assume all animals are their best friends and nice and will not chomp them in half. And then the movie always proves that. It's a team of Timothy Treadwells. Yes, it's very similar to a certain strain of cop movie

where a cop wants to be a nice cop and then his family gets killed or something like that. Like it is, that's Sophia's. Yeah, his family gets killed and then he's immediately like, Siri, cue up like Nutshell by Alice in Chains. Exactly. And Sophia is that, has that arc where she starts out being like, the garbage patch is terrible, we got to save the oceans, sharks are great. And by the end she's like, we got to save the ocean. Sharks are great. And by the end she's like we got to kill this shark right, you know, it's like movies often stack the deck in favor of very questionable moral stances in real life and

But this film is weird though, too, because I don't think it necessarily Doesn't there's so many negatives in that. I'm sorry for phrasing it that way. I think the movie May genuinely believe in an ecological message to some degree. Like I don't think it's like, yeah, this garbage patch is great, but it then also spends the second half of the movie undercutting any of that in favor of shark thrills.

So it's a very confusing. It is a mix. And I mean, we'll get to, you know. I think the message and much Stuart as Marshall Marshall McLuhan's can probably talk to this at the weekend, but it is a mix of what the intent of the filmmakers possibly is and what the demands of the structure of this kind of storytelling demand. And it's a, they don't mix well.

It's not a chocolate peanut butter situation where you think it's not going to mix and you're about to sue the guy That you bumped into while you were eating one reading like it. Yeah, it's great Yeah in the hands of it like a like a talented filmmaker You can fit an ecological message into a big blockbuster like Ferngully Okay, so the the SOS team, Save Our Seas activists,

they release a video that immediately goes viral. Everybody on the planet is watching it, from your lowliest grandma to your tallest grandma. They hack the planet. This is the second most unbelievable thing in the movie about evolving sharks, is that it's just a video of a woman talking and everyone is watching it all the time. As if she's, I mean, I guess what they're going for

is like a Greta Thunberg type thing. Greta Thunberg pulled off this incredible stunt, you know? Yeah, she should have been, if it was like a real viral video, she should have been doing kind of a wand dance, like kind of a half-hearted dance with a lot of hand swirls. In between each fact about the sea, she just takes a bite of cinnamon, you know? If she really wanted people to pay attention, she would have recorded this video from the cab of her truck

wearing wraparound shades and a baseball hat on backwards. Yes. Okay, so she makes this video basically saying, we got to save this shark, folks. And we're like, ugh, the killer shark? But that's fine. So they end up throwing a big shark saving party in the Parisian catacombs.

They find this specific chamber that is like a big pool in the center and a very skinny ledge all along the sides. That's not going to be good. So they go in there, the cops track them down and follow them with the help of a hacker. And they show up just in time for Mika, the leader of the activists, to be swimming in the water.

There's a baby shark. And you're like, oh, a baby. Is there a song that perhaps could be sung about that baby shark? Are you telling Alex to cue it up? I don't think we have the rights. I mean, maybe six packets of it. So, and right around now, Lilith, the big mama shark, comes bursting out of the water with Mika in her mouth, and then the baby shark rips Mika in half.

This was the first moment where I'm like, okay, things are getting good. Everybody starts freaking out, everybody starts falling into the pool and getting chomped, a couple of cops get chomped, everybody gets chomped. I think there's like a total of 12 people get killed. Everybody gets chomped tonight. Everybody's slipping off the ledge because it's so skinny.

And then Sophia came along for the ride because she's the shark expert. And she... There's a lot of the movie where it's her coming along for the ride and not doing so much other than kind of looking on wisely and sadly. Trauma. She's our traumatized heroine. She has to regain her, I don't know, shark spirit before she can take on these sharks. And honestly, guys, I think she's just a good hang.

You know, like people just like having her around. They like having her around, yeah. I mean, there's been certain cast members, I think, who have been kept along just for being a good hang. Wow. I didn't name names. No, I just feel like you took the wheel of the car and drove us down. You like yanked it down into the forest. OK, so they return, you know, after spending some time recuperating

after this horrible tragedy. A horrible tragedy that of course the mayor of Paris does not give a shit. This is like, they're like, you know which mayor I think was too soft on anti-shark stuff? The mayor from Jaws. We need a super anti-shark stuff. Anti anti-shark stuff. There are they're anti anti-shark stuff.

There are a couple of elements in here that are, you know, like clearly they don't think that they're fooling anyone by taking them like this. It's not a ripoff. It's an homage. I don't know if Jaws was ever released in France. Maybe they don't know. Le Jaws? Yeah. Like in Le Jaws, they they had they have a

a mayor who is blind to the dangers, and they also have a scene later on where there are bullies. A sin later on, they actually have the sin later on. They have a sin later on, and then they have boys on top of that sin that are attached to sharks to indicate where the shark is, so we can see visually on the surface. So they find a dead baby shark. So of course we got to have a shark. Is there a song about that?

Yeah, it's by Cannibal Corpse. Dead baby shark. So we get a shark autopsy scene. It's great. And of course they cut open the shark and it's filled with a bunch of tiny baby sharks. But wait, this shark's so young. Is there a song about that?

That we can sing? Yeah, Dan, can you hum a couple of bars of a bunch of dead baby sharks? God, they weren't, the babies weren't dead. The babies were still alive. I mean, they're not going to last very long. They're not going to be around anymore. No, but they were still wriggling.

So, yeah. But the thing is that this shark. That's why I say every year on my birthday, I'm still wriggling. Yeah, that's going to be on my tombstone. Yeah, that's Dan's motto, J.K. Wriglin. Along with pepperoni and cheese. So they realized that this shark should not have been able to be pregnant because it is much too young.

And also they realized that at this point, these sharks must be reproducing through parthenogenesis. They don't need a male to create more sharks. They are just shark creation stations. Look, a shark needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Let's be honest, folks. Yeah, now you're right. It attracts. I had to think about it a little bit.

Yeah, that's like an old doo-wop song. Okay, so Obviously at this point all this information where they're like look there could be zillions of sharks down there and the mayor's like I'll give a shit I'm the mayor of Paris get the fuck out of here Okay, so the cops are like the river cops are like we're gonna have to do this our way So they all agreed to do a covert mission where they are going to swim into the catacombs underneath Paris and blow them up.

Filling the sharks and I can only assume destabilizing the entire city. I don't know. When they get there, they're setting up for the triathlon. They're also like, we have to do this fast because the triathlon starts in 20 minutes. So they're setting up for the triathlon. There's a huge military presence.

So there's like snipers all over the place. They decide to swim. You know, Sophie and the cops go swimming under the catacombs. They go into a giant chamber. They are surrounded by a massive swarm of sharks. They set the charges. There's some scares. One guy pulls out the detonator and then sharks eat him.

And then another guy grabs it and triggers it. And then all the sharks eat him. I want to call out a really good shot in this movie where she lights the flare and all of a sudden you see just a tremendous number of sharks. Yeah, that was a good moment. That was a very good moment, yeah. Yeah, it's great.

But there, and Sophie is like, wait, we can't blow it up yet. Lilith isn't here. But they have to blow it up anyway because the sharks start eating them. So they, Adil and Lilith manage to escape at the last second. They blew up the catacombs. And blew up the catacombs. Yep. And they sealed the catacombs. They get back up into the... Yeah, so she carries a deal who's injured

back to the police boat. This is Sophia who's carrying a deal. Yep. Sophia goes swimming. So you mentioned Lilith earlier and I was like, wait, so a deal and Lilith were working together the whole time? That's the twist.

That would actually make a lot of sense when you see the end of the movie. Yeah. It's in the, it's in the post credit scene. They've been emailing through the tracker. When we see, when we see Adele, Adele and Lilith share a kiss as they, as they reveal, she was rolling in the deep. Yeah.

Oh my God. It all fits. So, uh, Sophia deposits a wounded Adele back in the police boat and then she Yeah. Oh my god. It all fits. So They're mr. Police man, so Sophia Deposits a wounded a deal back in the police boat and then she does back in because this ain't over She isn't she's not gonna believe Lilith is dead until she sees that giant dead shark She goes back. Of course at this point Lilith bursts out of the rubble and goes swimming around She knocks over the police boat eats two of the police officers that are not a deal swimming around, she knocks over the police boat, eats two of the police officers that are not a deal.

And then it goes after the triathlon at this point, it started. So there's like a full buffet in the water for this shark. So we get the scene that is basically promised, which is there's a bunch of swimmers, they start getting chomped on by sharks. At first we think it's just Lilith, but later on we realized there's a ton of sharks.

Sharks are all over the place. So Lilith starts chomping on people, it starts dragging people down, people start realizing there's a shark so they're freaking out, legs are getting bit off left and right. Then while this is happening, people are still in the water,

the military boats start circling, just firing machine guns into the water. And then there's like snipers blasting as well. Well, so this is what was very funny with this. One, this police boat is just circling this one spot in the water, and meanwhile, they're nowhere near the swimmers, they're nowhere near where the carnage is going on. So I was like, why did they decide this was the spot,

and then that a sniper is firing in As if a sniper on a rooftop is gonna be able to see into the water That's yeah, that's just I mean at that point the waters they just figure the waters they're in are enemy They're like there's something in this water. That's killing people We have to shoot the water as much as we possibly can I feel like the reaction to like piranha 3d is more normal than this one Oh, man, what a what a movie when like Adam Scott is on that jet ski just going around shooting Right, oh, I saw that shotgun into the rules

And at this was so they're like machine guns and sniper rifles into the into the river and it keeps cutting to shots of Lilith the giant shark like dodging the bullet streams. I was like cackling at this point. It's so funny. And the police are like, no, don't fire in there. There's a bunch of unexploded ordnance in there or unexploded munitions, which of course Lilith's super fast dodging and swimming agitates all these unexploded shells that float up

and then float back down and then everything starts exploding. There's all these huge explosions. It blows up a bridge, causes a massive tsunami, washing everybody away. Paris is now flooded. The Lilith the shark is now mayor of Paris, end of movie. Yeah. And then during the credits, you see maps with lines implying that the sharks are now

swimming through all the rivers of the world and invading other cities all over the world. I love it. I mean, those other cities, fortunately, were not blown up by unexploded World War II munitions. And so we're mostly not underwater. If you just stay out of the water, you're okay. And there's a lot of cities that are not full of navigable waterways deep into the heart of the city, the way that Paris is.

And then there's the footage of the sharks in the reverse wetsuits that are like, filled with water and they're swimming on land. That would be... You know, AK-47s and their fins. Darwin said that sharks eventually are going to figure out how to make water suits so they can kill us all. Yeah, he did say that. It's right there in his book, On the Origin of Badass Stuff. Okay guys, so that was Under paris. It was pretty fun. It was some cool stuff.

Yeah, well, this is where we... What was the moment Elliot for you that you're like, this movie knows what it's doing now? So the first one, it really didn't hit me. I found it to be kind of slow and kind of like, oh, this is all right. Until Mika got, as you said, got eaten by that shark. The way they shoot it is maximum sensational and

Where you're above the air you're up in the air looking down and anytime they're doing shark stuff I was like this movie You know what you're doing and it was only the periods in between Sharks, but I felt like they could have been pushed things more because especially once there's the big shark attack at the end and the police Are just firing guns into the water for no reason and then everything in Paris is exploding and flooding I'm like, okay movie you finally got to where you wanted to go. Yeah I didn't realize that like Paris was that low on the water level right that like it would just flood if the river explodes Yeah, I know that

Notre Dame is on an island in the middle of the city, so I know there's water but yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was partially destabilized by them blowing up the catacombs. Yeah, I think that was part of it. There's probably some land shifting. I do think it is funny at the end when Sophia and Adil are looking around at this new flooded land as shark fins go up. And the implication is now the sharks are the kings of the earth and humanity must perish or run for its lives.

And it's like, I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of times in human history where there's been like a big problem where we're not prepared at the moment and then we get our act together and we take care of it. You know, this is, it's not like... This is kind of like a quiet place day one, right? Where it's like, this is how, now I want to see the next one

where people are like trying to avoid all the shark swimming everywhere. Yeah, well that next one, it has to be called On Top of Paris, you know? And then the third one, A Place in France, colon. Well, it seems like we're making some Final Judgments, which is interesting because there is a branded segment on this podcast where we make Final Judgments. I've never listened to it, this is actually my first episode.

Oh, it's interesting, it's called Final Judgments, and it never listened to it. This is actually my first episode. Oh, it's interesting. It's called Final Judgments, and it's where we decide whether this is a good bad movie. And there's like a sound effect like from a current affair or something, right? Well, I mean, you often made a sound effect that then Alex would occasionally add some echo to. I don't know.

Anyway, this is where we just decided whether it was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked. Yeah, I'm gonna, you know, I kind of liked this. Like the thing is, so oftentimes people will make this argument, you know, towards critics or whatever where they're like, you gave this movie three stars,

but you gave this movie two stars, but you gave this movie two stars, and you really think this movie is better than that? Who is this person? Well, it's just a, I mean. He's a straw man. You can claim he's a straw man, but it's a thing that happens. Once again, Dan's arch nemesis, the strong man,

has raised his head. A straw man is when you invent someone who does not exist, making an argument that's easy to knock down. We're just saying to name one person who has done everything that you're describing There is this strain that you will see where people are like they want Criticism to exist on some sort of objective. Yes, and the thing is I think more than consistent I think there's an the objectivity that it's this like Perfect thing like removed from like gray areas.

It has to be this way. Yeah, less than consistent. They want an objective, an objective coherent like concrete standard. Well, no, it's also consistency where it's like people get mad if you give like a good review to a movie that's trying to do less or whatever. You know, like this movie is worse in that way.

Anyway, the point is, I don't want to insult anyone who's ever felt that way, but that's kind of a silly way of looking at it. I think all art can only sort of be truly sort of judged by how well it accomplishes its own goals. And as you get older and you chill the fuck out, you stop worrying about stuff like that. This is all a long preamble to say,

if you're watching a movie about sharks called Underpants, this will deliver what you want for the most part. It's not the best version of that movie by any means, but I kind of liked it. Like it did, it was fun. It's not the best version of that movie by any means, but I kind of liked it. Like it did, it was fun, you know? It's a fun shark movie. That's what I say. Yeah, Dan, you're right.

It's a fun shark movie. I would say this is a movie I kind of like. It delivered exactly what I hoped, which was a couple of shots where I'm like, were they planning this to be 3D on Netflix or something? Because that shark's just bursting right out of the water, like waving at me, doing a little wink. I yeah, I will I will go the same way kind of liked it. It is it's nothing

It's nothing that I would be like you got to rush out and see this thing But if you want to see a movie about sharks eating people in Paris then like I mean Climax is pretty fun particularly after we related the whole plot to maybe it's not so good that you need to rush out to see it. But you know, it's also if you're thinking about, I don't know, maybe like it's the summertime. Everybody's going to Europe right now for the summer. Everybody's going to Europe.

So like if you want a little preparation for your trip to Paris, why don't you watch a movie about it exploding in their sharks being everywhere? Well, you're going to have to. You don't want to show up and not realize that the whole city is flooded now and all the bridges are blown up and it's full of sharks. You want to know that before you go. Know before you go about the place you're traveling is full of sharks. You're expecting it to be full of tourists.

You weren't expecting all the sharks. You're expecting it to be full of gore-ists, which are sharks that eat people and there's gore everywhere. Do you think all those sharks are now all smoking too, because they're in Europe. Yeah, all the sharks are on bicycles with a single baguette in their basket. Long baguette, smoking cigarettes, they all kind of... That's the kind of city liberals want where you can go out and buy one baguette each day.

I mean, have you seen the size of the refrigerators in Paris? Much smaller, much smaller. When actually, what liberals want is the kind of bag of baguettes that Tom Wilkinson is carrying and Michael Clayton that's just stuffed with baguettes. Have you seen this? He's got, there's like 20 baguettes in this bag. How many baguettes does one man eat? That's the show that he's spiraling into madness. Yeah, it's too many baguettes.

So many baguettes. That is a subtle sign of madness. When Iron Maiden asked, can I play with madness, they just meant how many baguettes do I get to eat? Since 2017, Maximum Film has had the same slogan, the podcast that's not just a bunch of straight white guys. Ooh, we've learned something over the years. Some people out there really do not like that slogan.

Listen, we love straight white guys. Well, some of them. But if there's one thing we can't change, it's who we are. I'm Ify, a comedian who was on strike last year in two different unions. I'm Dreya. I've been a producer and film festival programmer for decades. And I'm Alonzo, a film critic who literally wrote the book on Queer Hollywood. You can listen to us talk movies and the movie biz

every week on Maximum Film. We may not be straight white guys, but we love movies. And we know what we're talking about. Listen to Maximum Film on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Oh, darling, why won't you accept my love? My dear, even though you are a duke, I could never love you. You... you borrowed a book from me and never returned it.

Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems. Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Here's the thing that I want to tell you, and that's that the Flophouse is sponsored in part by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform that lets entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're starting out or managing your existing brand, Squarespace

makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time in one place on your terms. If you want to start a website warning people of the shark dangers in Paris, for instance, a live map that tells you where the sharks are and where they aren't. Squarespace is a platform for you. And with Squarespace Blueprint, that's their new guided design system

that lets you choose from curated layout and styling options to build a unique website from the ground up, tailored to your brand or business and optimized for every device. Your customers can enjoy seamless checkout with their simple but powerful payment tools such as PayPal, Apple Pay, and in eligible countries customers can buy now and pay later with after pay and clear pay. So, you know, if they want to pay later for that life-saving shark information,

that's a possibility in select countries. Sell your products and services, whether you sell physical goods, digital content, or services, Squarespace has the tools you need to set up an online store and start selling. So, go to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I believe we have a Jumbotron. We do have a Jumbotron. If two Jumbotrons, I'll take one, Stu, you take the other.

We'll do this Lilith style where we, and there's more than one of us. I don't know, yeah. That's not what happens. Now, it started without an ending, I think. Yeah, I didn't really know where I was going with it. So this jumbotron is for Jake Bosshart, and it's from Val, Henry and Ellie. And they say Happy birthday to the best friend, husband and dad.

You are the very opposite of bad movies. And we love you. That's so sweet. What a lovely birthday message. Happy birthday, Jake. And this and this next message is for Rob Lubas and the message is from Rob and Tom Happy 40th birthday Lubas Even though you arena and plot kin don't live as close as you once did They still feel lucky that you are one of their best friends,

I'm assuming this is Rob and Tom. And they're glad that everything you three talk about today is just as dumb as it was in high school. Here's to more years of smoked meats, hoppy beer, and dumb movies. We love you, man. And all those things we love too here at the Flophouse. And I'm going to spin on that one.

Hey, before we move on to some more information about that live show that Elliot mentioned before, I just want to say the Flophouse now has a newsletter written primarily by me, but with other contributions at times, called Flop Secrets. And if you want to get all of your behind the scenes, Flop information. It continues the movie theme by putting a popcorn thing in there.

I like it. Yeah. Basically, why don't you go to Flophousepodcast.com. There's a field on the front page there, where you can put your email address in to receive this newsletter. It comes the day before our main episodes. It tells you what we're up to.

There's always something silly in there that's also fun to read. So it's not just advertising. It's just a good way for us to connect with you that doesn't involve us say getting on the website of an evil billionaire who is awful and allows awful things to be said is there like like a like a puzzle or a jumble I mean not yet Dan you're talented you should do one of those Dan I could do a junior jumble, it's true. I'll look into that. Or even a grown-up jumble. A regular jumble? No, too advanced.

Like a nudie touch one where it's like spot the difference. I'm sorry, nudie touch? That's what we called it, but we used to go to a bar in Park Slope that had one of those machines where it would show two pictures of a lady in lingerie and you had to spot the differences. We just called it nudie touch because you had a touch screen and there's nudies on it. And we're drunk. Come on, man.

So, Flophouse Newsletter. While you're over at the Flophouse website and you're signing up for that great newsletter where you'll learn about all sorts of Flophouse stuff, let me tell you about something you'll probably also learn about on the newsletter, which as I mentioned above is that we have a new online video event premiere coming up. Our final of the two video shows in Los Angeles that we recorded last year is being released on video

by the beautiful people at StagePilot who did a beautiful job on this beautiful show. And we're talking three men and a baby and we're joined by the star of the show. That's right, we just had to call it Three Men and a Hallie. So this is again a really like fantastically professionally put together video of that other live show and you're going to get the whole thing. You're going to get our presentations.

You're going to get the whole discussion with star of the show Hallie Hagelin talking about Three Men and a Baby. You're going to get the audience questions. You're going to get little bits of footage and jokes that were not part of the live show and were recorded at the time, but if you went to live show, you also missed this stuff. You didn't get to see it. And if you weren't at the show,

you haven't seen any of this. It's all original material, all new stuff. And not only that, is there gonna be exclusive merchandise, three men and a Hallie themed merchandise, Dan, sold during this video window and no other time? That's true I drew some some art for this for the merch for the show. How do you say art like that Dan? Well I you know look I drew it involves the three of us and Halley in one of the drawings and I worry I didn't do us the fullest justice in the sense that like

it's hard to draw anyone that you know personally without feeling that maybe you've insulted them but I also think that the art is nice and people will like it. Yeah, you're a good artist, Dan. Yeah, you are a good artist. Thank you. Thank you. Just because I look like a kind of a possessed ventriloquist dummy of the MC from Cabaret, that's okay. Oh, dog.

I hate to break it to you. Ha ha ha ha. What? But Dan did a great job. It's original Dan McCoy art on that merchandise and you'll only be able to get it during the video window of this show. So when's the video window? It's when we're...

Yeah? She's going to say that's why your wife always wants to watch magic with you. Yeah, because then she can be like, that's you in the movie, right? So the premieres Saturday, August 4th at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. Sunday. Oh, Sunday, I'm sorry. Sunday, August 4th. I apologize.

It premieres Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. We will be in the chat box watching it with you live chatting, you know over text during that first airing But then you can't make it on Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m Eastern 5 p.m Pacific just stream it at your leisure for the next two straight weeks as many times as you want over Midnight the night of August 18th. That's when it stops. But until then you just watch it Whenever you want over and over just leave it on as background noise or you know visuals if you want. So that is Three Men and a Halley, a new live video event featuring the Flophouse and star

of the show Halley Haglund. Just go to Flophousepodcast.com slash events and you will see the listing for Three Men and a Halley. The fine people of StagePilot have done another fantastic job. We're so excited to be working with them again over there get your tickets and Watch it when it's up Well, um, let's move on to letters from listeners Perfect. We have listeners. You're one of them you I'm pointing at you me the one with the headphones on listening to us

Did you send this letter? Could be, let's read on and find out. This one is from Anwar, Last Name Withheld, who writes, "'Hey peaches, I'm listening to your disclosure episode, "'and you've just pointed out that the major twist "'of the movie is that the movie is about "'corporate shenanigans, not sexual harassment. "'Strangely, that has me thinking about all the times times you pointed out that 80s and 90s children's films

would often have corporate themes, i.e. Santa Claus the movie, where John Lithgow wanted to corner the market on Christmas. So I was thinking, what Flophouse movies would be enhanced by shifting the focus of the movie to something more corporate? For example, would Dweegans and Leprechauns benefit from a storyline focused on the big Dweegans slash Leprechaun merger? Or maybe Batman v Superman should have focused on how the Daily Planet isn't selling well anymore

and they need to transition to Buzzfeed-style listicles. Last thing, I listened to your entire run during the pandemic and made everyday easier. It's the best podcast around and one day in the future when Dan does the introduction He will mess up his own name again, and it will be the best thing ever. Love you guys armoire That's a tough one I do love man I feel like Do you

Do you think that like all the corporate garbage was thrown in there because they're like, we need to give parents something to really latch onto or they're like, we need to prepare kids for the harsh realities of the world. Yeah, it's not going to be floating candy canes all their lives. To be honest. Mario Brothers. I think it was honestly, I think it was probably people writing about the things that they knew about.

Like, that they were as opposed, it's the same way that my wife was reading a book last night and she was like, I don't know if I'm gonna keep reading this book. It's like kind of a satire on academia and the things that college kids kind of get obsessed with this thing. And she's like, I'm kind of like, yeah, I heard about this. I know about it.

But there's a lot of writers who write about that stuff because it's the world that they swim in. And so I don't think that screenwriters were necessarily swimming in corporate intrigue, but the people who were paying them, I think, were at that time. But also, but maybe there is an ulterior motive, which is like, we got to get kids. Maybe they were trying to teach kids not to get into the corporate world because it's so stressful. And so they could all be free living artists.

I don't know. That's possible too. I like to see it in like a movie where it really doesn't belong. Like I'm just looking to- 10,000 BC? Well yeah, like stuff that we did, I was looking through,

I was going to say the legend of Hercules. Like if we cut away from Hercules' labors to like Hercules' managers, which I guess are the Mount Olympus gods, I don't know. Yeah, they're kind of like his managers. The intrigue between them, like there's going to be a big merger with, I don't know, the Roman gods?

Wait. I mean, the Roman gods and the Greek gods are so similar, they might as well merge. No, I know, yeah. They're competing for the same share of the marketplace. Now, if they were going to... But I feel like the corporate intrigue of the Greek gods is basically the Iliad, right?

I mean, pretty much, yeah. That's why Troy doesn't work for me as a movie, is because when you take the Greek gods out of that story, you're like, okay, this doesn't make sense. I would agree, except for the comic book series Age of Bronze, which is a really good, the Trojan War without the gods in it. Okay, well, you of this bronze these days? Bronze, it's looking great. I mean, the thing is, it can play anywhere from 18 to 735,000.

Uh-huh, it's like a real George Hamilton. Actually, bronze doesn't go back that far. How far back does bronze go? Probably like 10,000 years or something like that? I don't know, geologists, right in. Geologists, would that be who does it? Geologists, people who study Jell-O are geologists. People who study Jell-O movies,ologists. People who study Jell-O movies.

Yeah. Metalurgists. Geologists. That's Dan McCoy saying, he who smelt it dealt it. Get some metal over here, smelters. So, I mean, unless you have specific answers. When I was thinking about this, I was being a little too literal

and I was thinking about the movie No Deposit, which is all about a guy losing his job because of the recession and then another guy running a beverage business. And there's almost no corporate stuff in that whatsoever. You know, but I wouldn't have minded seeing a little bit more of what was going on there. Yeah, like in Faithful Findings, I would love for there to be a scene of like, they're like, wow, we've been selling so many laptops to this guy. What's going on? I've got the findings and they're so faithful. When he says he's hacked into corporate secrets and we don't find out what those secrets are, that feels like a real waste of

foreshadowing, you know. This letter is from Willie Lastnamewithheld. Who writes? Alphys driving me crazy! Dear Dan, Elliot and Stuart, I hope this letter finds you well and I must apologize for the unconventional means of communication. My name is Willie and I write to you as a time traveler from a future that has been shaped by your podcast, The Flophouse. Okay, I'm going to say right here Willie that the means of communication is not is not strange at all. I guess it's more the story you're telling with it because sending us an email is not. I think as a future man, the email is an archaic form.

Oh, I see. Because he's used to sending thoughtgrams. Yeah, like plug your ponytail into something. Sounds like a slogan for the worst kind of cool young person's drink. Like you're ponytailing to something. I write to you as a time travel from the future that has been shaped by your podcast, The Flophouse. In this world, your podcast has transcended its status as entertainment and become a catalyst for a utopian society, particularly due to one fateful decision, Crowvember. Crowvember quickly captured the hearts

and minds of listeners, critics, and Hollywood itself with the infectious enthusiasm with which you tackled Crowe's filmography rekindled interest in his work and Russell Crowe himself, taking note of your dedication and humor, fully embraced Kro Vember, leading to a resurgence in his career that was nothing short of legendary. But it didn't stop there. Topeka, Kansas became a hub for film enthusiasts, hosting an annual Kro Vember Film Festival that drew fans from across the globe. It single-handedly revived the local economy, turning Topeka into a cultural hotspot. People found common ground in the shared love for Russell Crowe's diverse roles. This passion for cinema transcended borders,

fostering global unity. Your podcast, gentlemen, unwittingly set the stage for a utopian society. The success of Crowe-Vember ultimately led to a world where understanding and cultural exchange thrived. It's astonishing to see the profound impact your endeavors had on history with sincere gratitude and admiration Willie Lastname withheld. So this is a... I can only hope that Kro-Vember revived the dark universe and we finally got that Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde movie.

Oh possible. I could do without the Johnny Depp Invisible Man movie but I want that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde movie. We'll only know if that's true If we fulfill our dark destiny So we'll have to make crowvember. I don't I mean, you know, I Not a completely against it. He's got a new exorcist movie coming out You know this one about a guy making a movie about an exorcist and he starts to things get too real I don't know I hadn't looked into it. I don't know.

I hadn't looked into it so I couldn't tell if it was the same character or not. If it's not the same character, that would be amazing. If Rell's Report makes a different exorcist movie, we'd start featuring as a different guy. I love Italian Colombo, the exorcist, the movie. Yeah. I didn't, you know, I don't want to let down

our Bill and Ted style utopian future society that we helped usher in. Pro Vemper would come after two other theme months which would really sort of handcuff us. Yeah, you're right, Dan. World peace isn't worth that. No, but the pun is so good. I feel like maybe we should look for a Russell Crowe movie in November and maybe we can work our way up.

We don't do it all. Do those exist? Yeah, I think there's a few of them out there. Let's guys, let's do it. Let's do one movie with Russell Crowe in November. For God's sake. Yeah, so we'll see what we can do. For this Thanksgiving, we're not eating turkey.

We're eating crow. Pretty good, actually. Crow is good? No, I mean. OK. I know Dan is a talented chef. The branding is good. Oh, OK.

Yeah, the branding. Performant. He could prepare it well. That's fine. I mean, we have Cajemus. We could have Crow's Giving. That's the other thing. I know it has to be called Crowve that for that beautiful future to come to pass

So yeah, if we call it, yeah, if we call it crows giving it'll be like something will go wrong and the future will be terrible Yeah As opposed to right now, yeah when it's just good things one after another yeah guys There's only one more segment of the on the show before we get released from our curse. Dan's beatbox lessons. So, Dan, last week you showed us how to lay down a solid back beat. Now show us how to ramp it up and add some flavor to it. Yeah, show us how to do your patented Dan McCoy stanky leg.

Maybe I'll save that for the newsletter. Yeah, with diagrams. I mean, I don't know that a podcast, an audio podcast, could be any better than for a dance lesson. It would just be Dan talking and then us saying, oh shit. Okay, right now I'm moving my leg in a particularly stanky fashion imagine it guys Stankier Uh, no, this is the part where we recommend movies that we saw recently and enjoyed or not recently You can just pick one out of the hat the old memory hat. But uh in my case

Thanks dog uh in my case, uh, i'm going to, dog. Head hat. In my case, I'm going to recommend a movie that I caught up with sort of later in its run. I finally saw Maxine, Maxine, Maxine. the third X movie from, was it T-West or Thai West? I don't know. I call them Thai West.

Thai West is what I've heard, yeah. I mean, T-West would be if you're just using his initial. Or having some tea. and his primary collaborator me a guy me a goth his muse you look up new me I got Mario walks out of fucking hot topic okay there's nothing in the rule book that says I can't be a Goth. Like wow, this new Mario game's doing some cool outfits. It's to me, a Goth. And then me a Goth says, do me. She says it way more oi govna than that.

Yeah, that's true. She is pretty oi govna for how ridiculously Southern Fried Maxine minks her characters. Oh, she rules. Hey, this has gotten the most mixed reviews of the three movies. And I, you know, it's probably the least successful of them. I will give it that. But I liked it a lot still. I think that a lot of the problems that people had with it

were third act problems where I'm like, maybe it's lazy to say like, hey, these are things that happen in the stuff I'm referencing. And so like a thing that gives you a problem shouldn't be a problem. Like I can understand not liking that argument, but I feel like this is drawing so much from JALO movies where there is a utterly ridiculous sort of solution to the mystery of what's going on that I think some of the things that people who maybe are not as like deep into these references

had problems with are kind of, I don't know, baked in. I know that it sounds snobby where it's like, you gotta be a real horror fan to appreciate this. And I'm not trying to say that, but I do think that it didn't bother me so much in large part because these are just types of movie I already enjoy that this is drawing on. And, you know, Miagoth's still great.

It's very stylishly made. It's just, whether or not you have plot problems, it's just a lot of fun to watch, I think. And you know, Giancarlo Esposito. Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon. Fucking knows the follow-the-grief. Being as greasy as a man can be.

Elizabeth DeBecchi just looking as astounding as a human can look. It's just a lot of fun. Yeah, I'll offer a slightly dissenting opinion, because this is a movie that I liked, and there's a lot of stuff that I really like about it. I just, I think, like, I feel like it references Dressed to Kill and Body Double so much that I wished it was, like, a little bit sleazier. Well, if wishes were fishes.

That's true, I guess. Good point, Dave. Paris would be covered. I had high, you know, I think part of it is I had high expectations. I love Pearl and I liked Exanoth. Again, I didn't dislike it, but there's like, I think I had higher hopes. No, it is a come down from the series high of I think Pearl is my pick, but a lot of fun still.

Stuart? I'm going to recommend another horror movie that I went to the movie theater with Dan McCoy so that he could keep me from getting too scared. We went and saw a opening weekend screening of Long Legs, the hit of the summer. It was a packed ass theater full of people, and there was so many people that they're like, people were having trouble finding seats, and they're like, I guess I'll just stand,

and I'm like, that's fucking crazy, dude, go home, come another time. I've never heard of that, but also they shouldn't sell more tickets than there are seats in the theater. I think it was some sort of ticketing error in this case. Computer error, yeah. Maybe, yeah, maybe Long Leg legs is playing havoc in the computer. Legs are just too long.

I need an extra seat for my long legs. So yeah, I mean this is a oddly very successful horror movie, successful financially. It's a very successful horror movie as a movie too. It's just like a nonstop, overwhelming, dreadful experience. I describe it as like a two-hour tummy ache. It is like the music and the way it is shot and the way everything is performed is so overwhelming

that like I could talk about the plot, but I don't think that matters that much. I guess there's like a serial killer element to it. And Nicolas Cage gives, I would say, one of like a top five all-time Nicholas Cage performance. And it is pitched at such a high level, but for some reason, it manages to work within the context of the movie.

Like, it's a movie where I'm sure there's already a backlash forming about people that are like, this didn't make sense. And I'm like, you are missing the point of this movie. This is just like a nonstop, you are uncomfortable and unhappy movie. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense in sort of a nightmare way

that makes sense for a horror movie. I will say, just to temper people's expectations, like it is a nonstop, whatever you said, but well, that's the thing, but in a very low key way. I feel like that could suggest a certain thing to viewers where it's like, it is like creeping dread that doesn't stop. But it's like constant. Yes.

It's like this constant feeling of not being comfortable. And it like it feels a lot like Osgood Osgood, Osgood Perkins, the director. I really loved his last movie, Black Oats Daughter, and it feels like a natural progression from that, which had a similar, like overwhelming bad vibes feel. So thumbs up to long legs and thumbs up to seeing movies with my good buddy Dan McCoy. Always a treat. If you can do it, I guess.

If you can do it. Yeah, I mean, if you, honestly, if you walk into an Alamo draft house in the New York area on any given day, there's a chance you're going to see Dan. Or a Nighthawk. Or a Nighthawk. Yeah, Dan supports, he supports both parties. He's bi-theatrism. You guys are seeing all the movies that I want to see. I haven't got to see them yet, but I'll tell you about a creeping terror horror movie that I did see that is also more about kind of atmosphere than nature. Called The Creepy Terror.

Called The Creepy Terror. So this is a movie I saw relatively recently, but it's not new. It's from 1986. It is from, you guessed it, Czechoslovakia, and you guessed it, it's directed by Vera Chetolova, and this movie is called Wolf's Hole. And this is, so Vera Chetolova, who did Daisies, and the Fruit of Paradise, this is her take

on a kind of like teens in an isolated setting horror movie. It is not heavy on like gore or shocks, but there's some very kind of like unsettling moments and images in it. And overall, there's just a nonstop feeling of dread and discomfort throughout the entire movie. If you're going to looking for gore, you're not going to get a lot of that. But these kids are going on a ski class vacation, like they've been picked for a special ski class that they're going to. It's in the middle of nowhere in a place where there is not enough food and the beds are gross and old. And it's run by an old man and a young man. And the old man is kind of instantly like, Hey, one of you has to die. And it's one of those things where you're

like, why did anyone agree to go on this ski trip? But but it's just nonstop. That was in the brochure that one of them had to die. Oh yeah, I'll go on to TripAdvisor and make a note. Yeah. Sorry, I had to pause for a second. No, it was not in the brochure that someone would die on the ski trip, but it's just kind of a good, these teens have to figure out what's going on,

but at the same time, they're still arguing over who's gonna cook and what are they going to eat? And... Elliot had to pause because he had a push notification from Popeyes that the chicken was hot and he should come by. I gotta go. But I really enjoyed it a lot. It is a more abstract horror movie in some ways.

But at the same time, it hits a lot of the points that a teen horror movie's got to hit just from a kind of slightly different angle and tone. So that's Wolf's Hole. Elliott, is there a Popeyes app? There is Popeyes app and I have it. You can order through it, you get special deals, and you also accumulate points based on the dollars you spent.

You get a stab at them. What are you like, Diamond Elite? Yeah, exactly. They usher you into the lounge, Popeyes lounge. Yeah, so you start from, you start at Popeye's customer, then Jazz Man, then Jazz funeral hall bearer, and then... To spinach-eating sailor man.

Yeah, and sailor man is finally the final one, yeah. You and Hodgman are going to be in the lounge together, toasting with drumsticks. He wishes he was in the Popeye's Lounge. Yeah, he used to be able to get in so much easier now Yeah Hey, that's the end of this show for another week Always an anticlimactic way to end the show from yours truly Dan McCoy. Yeah, we could learn from them Hey, like I said, why not go to Flophousepodcast.com,

sign up for the newsletter. It's probably the easiest way to find out everything that's going on with us going forward rather than having to rely on nasty social media. Or like tuning into my regular weekly hobby streams on Twitch where you can just watch me paint models and occasionally remember to talk about the podcast I do I mean, you know, it's it's a painting podcast. It's not a I mean, it's a painting show

It's not about the podcast. You're also on it's true. Yeah, but that is one of these sorts of things that gets plugged in the newsletter speaking of Stuff, you know one less unpleasant place to be on the internet is our Instagram feed, which also has stuff like clips from the show that you can see our faces on, if that's a thing that you like. But anyway, other than that, I just want to thank Maximum Fun, our podcast network,

go to maximumfun.org, check out other shows on the network. You also post pictures of you doing yoga on that. I did that one time. You decided you needed to do a Dan-style, Stuart-style thirst trap. I mean, I guess it was... And by yoga pose, I mean, his arms are stretched out super fucking far, and Chun-Li was kicking at him. My yoga teacher, Carla, shout out to you, Carla,

who will never listen to the show, saw me do a side plank, was like, I gotta get a picture of this. And then she said, put that on the podcast. And I was like, can't do that. But I'll put it on the Instagram feed. So that's the kind of great content you can expect over there.

I mean, we describe movies on the podcast. It's not like people can see them. So you're saying I should describe what it looks like when I'm doing a side play. Yeah, do it. OK, well, the point of contact is the side of my foot. And then the other foot is stacked on top of that. And then I my straight arm holds me up. So there's sort of like a triangle between me and the floor.

And the other arm goes up. And I like are you like a triangle between me and the floor and the other arm goes out Like are you like cheesing out doing like a peace sign tongue out or anything? No cheese in out You're going to such great detail about this, but when we wanted to describe your snanky leg you just would not get into it Well, doesn't give away that shit for free. It was stanky. Um You're like Sydney Bichet covering your fingers with a handkerchief. So now we can see how you pay move the instrument Yeah, when they were making the matrix for they're like Dan We want to get you in here to do your stack you play gun cameras I think that's why moves no can't you can't own my moves once I'm the one that delaying the end of the podcast right now

We're like so close to the finish line, but it's like doing a live show with Elliot where he's like and now let me before like security at the at the doors like hitting nightsticks there I think it would be understandable that I'm delaying the end of the show if we're gonna walk right into security and then the Hells Angels show up and escort Elliot out yeah before we end I do want to thank our producer, Alex Smith, he goes by the name Howell Doddy, all over the internet. You can find his new rock album over at Bandcamp,

look it up. But that's it for the Flophouse. I've been Dan McCoy. And I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Ellie Galen. Bye, au revoir. I was watching most of the movie on the treadmill and I'm like, let me try out doing voice dictation on the notes app.

So I'm like, under Paris, new line. There's a shark new line new line Then why is it I transcribe my notes on a set of guest checks because I want to I feel like it'll Give off the vibe that I'm like a diner waitress. Yeah, sure interesting. Yeah. Okay, honey The thing that mostly isn't. There's going to be, like, that's the thing. I'm really, you know, one of these little social media clips is really going to hit. Bang Zoom.

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