The Flop House - Ep.#432 - IF, Live!

Episode Date: August 31, 2024

From the visionary mind of John Krasinski, Stuart's number one favorite human, comes IF! It's a whimsical tale about how imaginary friends are real and we should have them even as adults, and if we decide to forget them, they'll die or something! Did this sit well with us? Probably not! But it led to one of our best live shows ever, so we hope you enjoy our pain.Season 2 of FlopTV kicks off NEXT WEEK, and tickets are available here! You can pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass — more info (including the full line-up). And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”Wikipedia page for IFGo to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP  to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Hey everybody, remember Flop TV, the one hour online video version of the Flophouse podcast that we produced last year? Well, I'm excited to tell you it is coming back. Flop TV 2, the sequel, will be broadcasting live to your computer screen the first Saturday of every month from September through February. We're talking only about sequels this season. RoboCop 2, Break-In 2, Highlander 2, Caddyshack 2, Ski School 2, and Ninja Turtles 2, The Secret of the U's. It's going to be all new jokes, all new presentations, movies

we have never covered on the show before, all in a tight one hour-ish package. Can't join us the night of the show? That's okay. The videos for every episode will remain online through the end of February, so you can binge them or dole them out as you prefer so that's flop TV to the first Saturday of every month from September through February for tickets and more information but a flop house podcast comm slash events again that's flop house podcast comm slash events flop TV to everything you loved about flop but again. On this episode we discuss, If, live from Boston, Massachusetts! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! That's right. Yeah. We are absolutely swimming in beans. So this is the Flophouse. It's a podcast where we watch a bad movie, we talk about it. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kalin and together we are... The Flophouse. That might confuse the live audience who already heard this spiel, but you know what, we're resetting. Nice use of the word spiel. Yeah. No, they thought they fell into a time tunnel.

Right, okay, that makes sense. There are a lot of those in Boston, yeah. The big dig, I think they called it. When they dug that time tunnel. Certainly took a long time. The big, the dig was too big and they went into the past and the future. So... Oh yeah, traffic to the 13th century was terrible today.

Good thing I got this Duncan Cough Me to got this Duncan Coffee to power me through it. Do you guys feel like we're on a local public affairs program with this setup? Yeah, I love it. Yeah, we're here at WBUR Cityspace, a public radio mecca headquarters performance venue. And yeah, it feels like we're here to talk about local zoning issues that may not be sexy but will affect you. I wish we could have zoned this movie out of existence Elliot. Dan's showing his hand here. Give me a third zone Dan I need it. The Twilight Zone is another zone? You just told me to give me one.'s true. I should have said I wanted another

I'll be more specific next time. That's a good note for me. So Stuart Yes, the one who took notes on this movie because you of course Love John So we watch the movie if which stands for imaginary, and it's directed by, it's from the imagination of John Krasinski. Written and directed. Written and directed and he's in it. And I am known for not being a huge fan of this fellow's work.

And I find this personally hilarious because I have no opinion about John Krasinski one way or the other. So the fact that Stuart, it means so much to him to be bristling at him. The same way that when my my grandmother years Ago when she was still alive She sent me a letter when George W. Bush was president that said I've hate him more than any politician in my lifetime except Thomas Dewey And I was like all right. Let's get into this. I've never heard anyone have an opinion about Thomas Dewey before She said he would say anything to get elected so well I Gotta say I used to be an Elliot, but after watching if I'm swinging over to the

Talk about it. Yes, so we are talking about if Okay, I mean I do need to point out ahead of time I don't like John Krasinski and Partially for plot reasons almost every male character in this movie looks like John Krasinski and partially for plot reasons, almost every male character in this movie looks like John Krasinski or at least some variation on a theme and it doesn't- I'm not into it. Okay, let's see. Movie opens- there's a bunch of little notes in there. Don't- What, like cameos? What, Coney Island? What's on there?

Yeah, empty Brooklyn. Not fun. Yeah, I can agree with that. Not fun's important, okay. So the movie opens with very special if credits. There's a kids painting style Paramount logo, just to get you in the mood. So they are all in there like, this is gonna be a huge hit. This will redefine our studio. And then we'll get purchased finally.

And it's always fun when a movie that doesn't do well has those those because you're like, oh, yeah, this is your dark universe moment. Nothing beats that moment when that dark universe logo comes up and you're like, this is the one time you're gonna use that. And you think that it's gonna last a long time, yeah. So the movie opens with a family staying at their grandma's house, and by house I mean Brooklyn Heights apartment that is incredible.

That's the most believable imaginary thing in this movie, is this amazing apartment with like a beautiful view of the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm getting way in the weeds here, but. No, no, the Boston audience is gonna love this, yeah. But it's just this amazing apartment, I love it. Okay, so this family staying at their grandma's house, played by Fiona Shaw, and they,

it's told from the perspective of a little girl, Elizabeth B., and her mother is dying of cancer, and John Krasinski is, I don't know, being a clown goofing around. Well, this is all shot, this is like a montage that's shown, it's got a filter on it as if it's like 70s home film, like it's a 16 millimeter film or an 8 millimeter film, but their camcorder is clearly a DV camcorder,

but they put like an old look on it to show that it was the past, but it was like a year ago, so I don't... But yeah, they're trying to cheer up their daughter while the mother slips away, and it could be very sad, right? I'm sure your heartstrings were turned. I think they're... I'm sure that they are trying to go for a beginning of up sort of situation. Yes, they even use the same composer to make the music in this movie.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's not as effective. Equally successful. So the movie fades to black and we get a title. They play free to black by Metallica and suddenly it kicks into a whole new gear. The movie skips forward now. Bea is all grown up. She's all grown up.

She's 12 years old now Yeah, she's not older. Let's let's be clear. No one on the flop house thinks 12 years old is all grown up Nobody she's a child good save although a big theme of the movie is her recognizing that she is a child Yeah, she is like wearing this like I guess it's like don't talk about what she's wearing come on. I'm not Don't talk about what she's wearing. Come on. I'm not... It's like, they're overalls, but they're styled so they're wearing suspenders. It's also whimsical.

Everyone in this movie wears suspenders around and is about to dance with a lamp at any moment. There are times when this movie is trying so hard for the kind of effortless chwee that Wes Anderson can just pull out of his butt at a moment's notice. Even to the point later on of a slow-mo walking sequence set to, I think, a song that he uses in one of the other movies, right? So like, it's, but he's not quite pulling it off. He's not pulling off the sad, beautiful of up or the kind of beautiful chwee of Wes Anderson. He's instead kind of krasinskiing it, you know?

Just kind of in the middle. So we see Bea is grown up, like slightly grown up. Yes, slightly older. A few years older. She doesn't think she's a kid anymore, however she's back in grandma's house. We believe some kind of time has passed, but it's weird that for some reason

they began in not their home, and then she's back in, I don't know. For some reason, whenever someone in the family is sick and has to go to the hospital, they go to the grandma's house. And I get it now because she only has one parent, as we'll find that parent is in the hospital. When her dad was still around,

I don't know why they went to the grandma's house to sit out this illness, but I don't know. Well, I mean, it's a really nice apartment. It is a very nice apartment. I get the feeling that they used to live there when the mom was alive and then they went back there for some reason just I guess to like really like hammer home those feelings of like you might lose this parent too kid but like the weird thing about it is like they you know like the grandmother is taking care of B and Krasinski who's in the you know the hospital for

what they tweely call a broken heart like he has some heart condition is like broke uh i'm sure you'll get into this i'm sorry to take over here but like he's like go out there i love that you are so engaged with the plot of the movie that you can summarize it so i don't so steward i apologize but i'm really i'm i'm ve. Just seeing my little boy grow up like this. I'm just, I'm so, like this baffles me because he's like, I want you to go out there and live life. And I'm like, this kid is 12. Like she spends so much of this movie unsupervised, roaming the streets of New York. I'm like, I guess she's out of school because of the sickness, but like the grandma's not looking after her. What's going on? Like, I don't

think John Krasinski was like, yeah, just do whatever, kid. The grandma's kind of huddling, twittering with anxiety, and she has her own story that never gets told about why she has no confidence about anything. And at one point she's like, I hope you like this pizza, I got all the different kinds because I didn't know what you like.

And it's like, grandma, just ask your granddaughter what kind of pizza she wants, you know, or like, it's okay. Family needs to talk to each other. I don't know if kids have opinions on pizza. Yeah. Kids are very reticent to share their thoughts about pizza with grown-ups. So yeah, as we covered, she's staying with grandma. Even though she's not a kid anymore, she insists. And her dad is in the hospital.

And she visits her dad, and he's like, does all kinds of like goofy magic tricks. He does like a dance routine with his IV pole, like he's put a mop on it to look like a wig and googly eyes, and he's like doing like a Fred Astaire type dance number, and the whole time I was like, if you drop that and it just rips the IV right out of your arm, that's gonna hurt so bad. But the nurse thinks it is adorable.

Yeah, the nurse played by, I forget the character's name, but from the bear, the one of the... I forget the character and the actress's name. But she's great in the bear, and she's pretty good in this too. I'll say this right off the bat. Okay, you're going to hear us criticize this movie a lot, I think rightfully. But I think there are a number of very good performances in this movie. And the main girl is great, I think. I think she does a fantastic job. She's carrying this whole movie, and she does it really well.

And it makes me wonder if John Krasinski's strength is directing actors and not writing, you know? Or the rest of it. Or other things. Yeah. But I think you get some good performances out of these actors. Yeah.

No comment. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. And there's a line here where B is interacting with her dad and she she's like life doesn't have to be fun I feel like that is the message that is the thing that he the movie has to beat out of her They have to make her believe life is fun Well, and this is a like this movie. It's got a pro fun and a pro imagination message, which is great But the fact that her it's not fun. It's got a pro-fun and a pro-imagination message, which is great, but the fact that... It's not fun.

It's not fun. She's going through something traumatic. She might lose her second parent, which are all those... And the idea that the movie is like, hey, smile on through it. You're not allowed to have these bad feelings. That's a pretty toxic message. Like, hey, kids, tamp it down. Shove it in, bottle it up.

Keep that smile plastered on your face, you know. We got a note here, the nurse was Liza Colon-Zayas. So I probably... Perfect pronunciation. Well, I... She's great. I like her a lot. Such a thing.

I thought it was more important... Such an uncalled for roast. I thought it was more important to credit her than to... I knew that the ire was gonna come here, right? Yeah, no rules no on that name grenade. Thank you. Yeah So B goes back to her grandma's house. She goes through the like old toys and stuff She finds the old video camera that they recorded a lot of footage of her dressed up as Tina Turner Yeah, this is cool. She there's a there's a thing that is very prevalent in movies now,

where modern day kids love the music that was current when the person making the movie did it. Like in the 80s, everybody loved fucking music from the 50s. It was all doo-wop stuff, that's true. Like everyone's singing like, moany moany and crap like that. Whatever. Is that a 50s song or an 80s song? I mean, I...

Did it all blend together in my brain? I think it was a cover, but I mean, all time is one. You know, we're just, you know, it's all just... Well, it's also hard to say because so many bands from the 80s, because there were people who grew up earlier or listened to that music, did sort of retro 50s styling so it all moshes together. Look, you're talking to a blondie fan, I know, exactly. They do a lot of that stuff.

Well, we're getting lost in the sauce, guys. So she finds all this stuff, she, uh, and then she goes to her bodega. This is another scene where, like, every scene in Brooklyn, Brooklyn is abandoned. She is like the only person ever walking around. There's no one on the streets. Yeah. And I'm like, there'd be at least one weird guy yelling at her on the street.

She's like a little kid walking around by herself. Did you notice the text at the beginning that said, P.S. this movie takes place right after the day of the comet? I mean, that would make sense because the Janusz Kaminski cinematography is all sunbeams all the time. There's just so much like warm glow. But the city is abandoned,

deserted, still beautiful, but deserted and this will come up. When we get to the Coney Island sequence I'll complain about it. So she is being stalked by an animated bug lady. That sounds so much more exciting than it is. I know and I'm like it's not like D'Vorah from Mortal Kombat guys don't get excited. It's just a normal bug lady voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Yeah, I was like, fuck you movie for making me mad at Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Hey, she's just gotta get that paycheck, Dan. So she's a fleet.

Wait, what? She's a fleet bag. Oh, right, right, right. Cool. Yeah, I'm sorry, I referenced the thing she's best known for. I'm sorry that that confused you, guys. You're right, she has experience playing in sub-curlated.

So this bug lady's name is Blossom, not the TV show Blossom, a different one. Yeah, true. Good point. And Bee notices her, but like doesn't quite see her. It is very funny that the bug lady is not named Bee, but is named Blossom. Yeah, no, that's a good point. So she... That's not that funny. Still, if something tells me you don't think that was a very good point. No, I'm pretty sure he liked it. So Bea, like, tries to follow Blossom back to...

And she, like, what? Follows her back to an apartment above her apartment. Her building, which I wasn't clear about at first. It looked like she was sneaking into a different building. And it wasn't until later that I was like, oh, that's where she lives, okay. So she didn't have to go outside at all. The next day she goes and visits her dad.

He does, you know, like, we know he's gonna have to have a surgery. He set up some kind of a prank where it looks like he crawled out the window. He didn't, don't worry guys. And then... She meets her friend Benjamin, the kid with broken bones. Okay, yep. And that's the thing, my wife pointed out like, would a kid with broken bones spend that much time in the hospital?

He seems to continually break them, so it's possible they're breaking while he's there. Or they don't, specific, because they're way like his parents might? Well that's the thing, he's like, I break bones a lot, my arm, my leg, I'm like, yeah, services should come and look at this family, like this not. Well, I think it's implied, it's never said explicitly, but I'm like,

is this like a Mr. Glass situation? Oh, he's there. Super villain, yeah, okay. That's a technical term. Yeah. This is the hardest part of my job as a doctor, but I'm afraid your son has a Mr. Glass situation. What? It's like, you know, like the film Unbreakable.

Yeah, I want you to not like the Glass family from the Salinger stories. No, no, no. This is... Let me be clear. When I say like the film Unbreakable, not Bruce Willis, your son is very breakable. The opposite of that. Yeah, yeah, I got it. The Mr. Glass character in Unbreakable.

You understand. You've seen Unbreakable. So, you know, I don't mean that he's Un breakable. The opposite of that. Yeah, yeah, I got it. The Mr. Glass character in Unbreakable. You understand. You've seen Unbreakable. So, you know, I don't mean that he's unbreakable. No, I understand you're telling me my son is not unbreakable. He's very breakable. I understand that. I get it. He's breakable. He's obsessed with the tallest building in Philadelphia. Imagine Kimmy Schmidt. But he's never gonna get there. The opposite of Kimmy Schmidt is what your son is. I understand. Oh, because she's unbreakable. Okay, is there another doctor I can talk to I'm not a doctor So that night

B follows the animated bug lady blossom and Ryan Reynolds playing a character named Cal He's not playing himself and they want and again He just like, he looks like John Krasinski and we're gonna find out later, I'm gonna spoil the twist. Yeah. We're gonna find out later that Ryan Reynolds is her imaginary friend and I know. I know. It is, it is much less of a shock if you're watching the movie because kind of after the second or third scene you're like, can you just tell her he's his, her imaginary friend? Because she's like, I never had an imaginary friend.

He's like, huh, you didn't, huh? Or someone's like, you may guys make a great team. And he's like, yeah, we did once. And it's like, either you dated or you were her imaginary friend. Yeah, and here's the thing. Our friend Matt Carman, who does tech work for our show, who puts together a lot of the presentations and such.

Part car, part man, all Matt. He texted me, I was venting my spleen about IF, like my eye are about it. You gotta do it every six months, people. Just to keep it clean, yeah. And I referenced the twist, he's like, yeah, but that twist, I was very happy when it happened, and I'm like, was it because it means that this young child was not unsupervised, just wandering around with a man for the entire movie is like no It's that was wandering around by herself talking to nothing

Yeah, yeah Which is why no one was bothering her because they thought that they thought a child with serious mental instabilities was wandering the streets And so as an imaginary friend He's kind of like a clown figure and her and he looks like her dad and her dad is kind of a clown guy So did John Krasinski make a move and he's like her dad and her dad is kind of a clown guy. So did John Krasinski make a move and he's like, you know what, Ryan Reld's looks just like me. If it was a richer film, I think they could have, that would be a deliberate thing and

they would play off of it more clearly. That she has, maybe even that her dad is too jokey. He doesn't engage with her actual emotions, and so she's created an imaginary friend who can do that almost as a way to give her dad permission. He doesn't have to do that anymore. Like, that's a better version of this movie, you know? But...

Yeah, that's a pretty meaningful interpretation. Yeah. Okay. But there's nothing in the text of this movie that supports that reading at all. So she followed, now ignore all the stuff I said about him being an imaginary friend, because he looks like a normal human man.

So she follows him. With suspenders, I mean like he's not. I guess he's not that normal. So she follows him through the streets of Brooklyn with an animated bug, and he climbs. Bug lady. She watches him break into a kid's bedroom, and at this point I'm like, I think this this is not cool like oh like is he the villain so he breaks that would be amazing if he

was a child snatcher and she's like yeah I'll help you my life's falling apart yeah and it's just the rest of them them and kidnapping children so the bug lady can suck their blood out of their bodies. I mean, that's like a Roald Dahl book. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So she- Oh, I'm Mr. Kid Snatcher. Oh, I'll help you, yeah. So Ryan Reynolds breaks into a little kid's bedroom while they're asleep.

And we're introduced to the first large imaginary creature, Blue, who is a giant purple fuzzy guy. He's on all the posters. I believe when introduced he does say, I'm blue. But then fails to follow it up with the proper next phrase, which is dabu dee dabu dai. Dabu dee dabu dai.

So that's another ding on the movie right there. I don't know how I didn't see that coming. It's like a fucking rake is on the ground. You just keep stepping on it. Literally the moment that character was introduced, I was like, I know what I'm going to say. It's like, that's a rap live show, baby. Right over the plate. So Blue, voiced by Steve Carell and Ryan Reynolds

in Blossom All Leave, B sees them, she is overwhelmed and faints, only to wake up in this grown man's apartment, surrounded by animated characters. They basically explain the rules of this world. Dan, do you want to explain? You love background and rules. Yeah, you love lore, yeah.

Well, I mean, this does introduce something that makes me very angry about the movie, which is blue is worried, purple by the way, they talk about that later or did we? Anyway. Yeah, he's purple and he goes, oh, my kid was colorblind, okay. Blue says like, oh, you know, like once the kids stop seeing us, if they stop believing in us, like eventually we disappear and like the point I guess of trying to break into this thing is like Oh if I get a new kid to have me be the imaginary friend. I don't have to disappear

except Like later on we see what appears to be a retirement community for imaginary Friends who are in no apparent danger of disappearing at any moment at all who are in no apparent danger of disappearing at any moment. Not at all. There's... So... It seems like that is a specific anxiety only Blue has. And otherwise, imaginary friends just retire and then have fun on their own afterwards.

And so the impetus to get them new kid imagined, you know, new kid hosts for their parasitic lifestyle. Yeah. Um... There's kind of low stakes, low stakes I would say since the imaginary friends are all like, oh yeah, yeah, we could have new kids, that'd be great. Yeah, sure, sure, okay, yeah. So why does something like Monsters, Inc. work and this does not work? Well, I mean, there's a number of reasons Monsters, Inc. doesn't work. Okay, as imaginative, funny jokes, strong characters.

Here's a couple reasons, I think. One, the mechanics of that world are stated clearly and consistent throughout. They are powered by screams. They've got to get kids to scream, but they've been led to believe that kids are dangerous for them. So every time you go into that kid's room to get a scream, you're actually... That's what's brilliant about the movie is it's like kids are afraid for them. So every time you go into that kids room to get a scream, you're actually, that's what's brilliant about the movie, is it's like kids are afraid of monsters,

but what if it was that the monsters were really afraid of the kids? That's a great way to do it, as opposed to this, which is like, what if imaginary friends were real, and yes. And I found myself watching it, and I'm like, this doesn't have the emotional complexity of drop dead friend, which handles similar material, you know?

And it's like, they're all sad because the kids have forgotten them, and I like, look, as a metaphor, I can map that onto other things and be like, okay, yeah, like I would see being forgotten by a kid as sad. But in real life, I'm like, yes, children, you know, like they forget imaginary friends at a certain point, and I reject the message of this movie that adults also need their imaginary friends at all times. I would tell you that a large part of the problem with the country right now is a lot of adults do feel like they need imaginary friends.

And they have used real people as their stand-ins for those imaginary friends. Yeah, I mean, I think we're all familiar with our parasocial relationship friends. No, you're all great. No, no, no, wonderful. I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for you guys. our parasocial relationship friends. You're all great. You're... No, no, no. Sorry for this. Sorry for you guys.

I mean the other guys. It's too a per person. This made me wonder, did either of you have imaginary friends growing up? I did not. Maybe because my life was just too fun. No, not like a specific one that stayed the same. I would imagine things, but not... Yeah.

Okay. No, I mean I had a little brother and we just beat each other Because I somehow I always when I was a kid I was wanted an imaginary friend like in the cartoons where you think they're real and I could never Buy into that level of fake reality, which is ironic since as an adult I constantly think that I'm seeing things out of the corner of my eyes that are not there. Oh you are there you're being followed You watched that videotape I sent you and that's the... That was you who sent that to me? Look, it was you or me.

I thought that was Michael Hanakee who sent me that. What a weird mashup that was. So, Bea runs into Blue at the hospital. And she basically, she talks to this guy who's Steve Carell and he's a giant monster And what he sneezes a lot and I think blue is supposed to be kind of like adorably clumsy and goofy But he comes off the characters are he's like not clumsy enough to really cause problems that are funny

But the characters treat him as if he is a constant like annoyance to be around but nothing he's doing is that annoyance There's one part where he's about to say, this is in the trailers, he's about to say the word if, and she goes, don't say if, and he's holding the word in, and he's about to explode because he's holding it in, and she's like, okay, say it, and he says if, and the whole time I'm like, why did you not want him to say it?

Like, I don't understand, it's not an annoying thing that he's doing. This is a joke without a setup, because if he had been saying if over and over and over again, perhaps, it's still not funny, but you understand Why it's happening. Or if it was like an annoyingly silly word if it was like well us giggly gloops We're always she was like, please don't say giggly gloops.

It hurts my clangs on the ears. Yeah, just make them like minions or some shit right kids like that. Kids love, speaking for my children, kids love minions considering I took them to see Despicable Me 4 because they demanded it and they spent the entire car ride home trying to decide which was their favorite Minion and they could not, they couldn't get it, they kept changing their minds. Do you think like in an original version of the script the ifs were a lot more like Minions

and Steve Carell got involved, he's like, nope. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't fuck with a money train baby. Oh, these guys again, I'm tired of them.'m guessing the original version script is pretty close to the shooting script And by that mean the first draft yeah, okay, so be be in blue come up with a plan that she is going to help all these retired ifs whose kids have like aged out of being their friend that she's going to help them all find placements with new kids and Ryan Reynolds agrees to this for some reason.

So they get on a... Ryan, again, Ryan Reynolds spends the entire movie being like, ugh, ugh, please don't, oh no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, at one point he's like, I don't know, that's above my pay grade and I'm like, do you have a job? What's going on? He's, there's never a reason for him to do anything and there's never a reason for him to not want to do anything Yes, lack of a lack of motivation also the like the reveal that he's her imaginary for alert does not explain his

General reticence throughout the whole rest. Well, I don't know that he finds it all painful I think that's what you're supposed to get is this is all painful for him because he can't find the courage to tell her Okay, all right. Maybe so he's adding so much more to this movie I say it's like there's there's so much in this movie that like All the characters behave in ways where they're like you guys get it You understand why we're acting like this right like and I was like no I don't you this movie will not stop explaining itself to me, but I don't understand any of it. Yeah, I think with him, I think that is in there, that you're supposed to say, why is he so against all this?

Oh, it's because he feels like she abandoned him. But until that moment, you're like, why? Like, what? What's your attitude problem? You're hanging out with cartoons all day. The greatest life in the world. You live for free in the attic in this beautiful building in Brooklyn. And speaking of moments, we're finally at it. That's right. Our characters take the

F train all the way to Coney Island, Brooklyn. Coney Island. Yeah. There's a big picture of Coney Island behind us. That's why there's a big building. Where they go underneath a... Whoa, wait a second. Hold on. They go to Coney Island. It's all locked. Luna Park is all closed. Coney Island? I guess nobody uses it anymore, which is weird because it's People do use it all the time. Like, again, they act as if Coney Island is like a like one of those abandoned amusement parks that Batman fights at. Like that, oh nobody's been around here I'm gonna city has like 20

The rides aren't you know that they don't run the rides off season, but like they don't lock it up either You know you can walk along the boardwalk if there's any place that in the last 10 or so years 15 years has been Revitalized far before then it was for years It's coming so it's it's very weird for them to choose such a and let's say iconic than it was for years. It's very weird for them to choose such an, let's say, iconic amusement park for it to be like, yeah, it used to be full of people, but nobody rides the cyclone anymore. And it's like, dude, I ride the cyclone. Maybe the problem is we're coming here in January, Ryan. Well, that's part of it, yeah. I wonder if John Krasinski did his location scouting in the winter and was like, great, Coney Island, abandoned, nobody's using the rides.

location scouting in the winter and was like great Coney Island abandoned nobody's using the rides So underneath the carousel of Coney Island we find the retirement home for imaginary friends Which is basically set up like I don't like an idyllic retirement filled with like Various wacky characters and that means lots of cameos That's right. We have George Clooney aquafina, Emily Blunt, oh man how many more? How did he get Emily Blunt? Bradley Cooper, Matt Damon, Bill Hader, oh my wife's favorite comedian, Sebastian Menescalco! Wait, who is Sebastian Menescalco? I don't know, one of the ones, like maybe the little dog that was around with the one with the like Italian American accent

Richard Jenkins Keegan Michael Key. Oh man. How many more these kids never does voices John Stewart John John Stewart's yeah, John Stewart has a few lines as a robot and I will say that if you are going to be filling out your Movie with I don't know like voice cameos from people. Maybe instead of getting big movie stars, you should consider getting podcasters! I sincerely believe, though, getting niche star- people will- like, it's not like people are going to be like, Oh, Brad Pitt does one line in this movie. Let's go see it. No, but it's, you know, it's there for people to have that shock of recognition where they're like, Oh, I know that voice

They're not like oh, that's that's the ladies from normal gossip. I Think that would get people to see it. Okay And at the heart of this complex is an old teddy bear dog if No bear teddy bear bear. Yeah, yeah, why Louis gossips? Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear, yeah. Voiced by Lewis Gossett. There's no dog aspect to him. Lewis Gossett Jr. playing a character named Lewis,

I believe. I appreciate you telling me that, because I was too lazy to look it up. That's why at the end of the movie, it says in memory of our friend Lewis Gossett Jr. and shows that Teddy Bear. Oh, I turned the film off immediately. I pulled a steward on this one.

I'm like, as soon as it fades out, I'm like, that's it, if consigned to the deathbin of history So he seems to be the leader he's the he's described as being 92 years old which is a little weird cuz I'm like They get older. What's Just like he does move like an old man. They it has I mean was he always an imaginary old man bear like maybe It's an interesting question. But he explains to Bee that this retirement home, you can control with your imagination.

So yes, go on. So she starts changing the world around her, changing the floors, making things turn into, I don't know, like outer space. Ryan Reynolds is running away from this terrified. She stalks after him like fucking Tetsuo. This is the part. Oh, if only, after him like fucking Tetsuo. This is the part. Oh, if only, if only she became Tetsuo at that moment.

She's just going, ah! Her limbs are just bursting into flesh mechanical bubbles and there's just telekinetic energy flying everywhere. I mean, it's a much better story about the horrors of adolescence and your body changing. Yeah, Bee flies up to the space satellite and shoots a laser at Brooklyn. And just puts a hole in the moon.

When I talk about stuff in the movie that I'm like, I don't understand why it's happening like this, this is one of the things where it's like, where she's like, oh, you can change with your mind. And Ryan Reynolds is like, oh no, no, no, no. And he starts running around the hall. He's running around like, no, no, no, no, whoa. Change around, and I'm like,

why, you took her to this imaginary place where you're, you can use your imagination, like, why are you scared of this all of a sudden? Why are you acting like this? And then there's a long sequence which honestly doesn't make any sense, but in a way is the only part of the movie I kind of enjoyed because at least on a visual level, stuff is happening and a Tina Turner song plays. I'm like, I'm enjoying this Tina Turner song. Not since Beyond Thunderdome have you had both of those things at the same time.

And Ryan Reynolds is like, everybody's outfits keep changing. There's a big dance number to set to What Better Be Good to Me by Tina Turner, where Ryan Reynolds looks like the cool dad from My Two Dads. Paul Reiser, yeah. And it is a moment where I'm like, I love Tina Turner. I think he's the cool dad from My Two Dads. Paul Reiser, yeah. And it is a moment where I'm like, I love Tina Turner. I think he's the cool one. Yeah. But this feels like an odd choice for a kid

to like a weird Tina Turner song. Yes, because this is what John Krasinski likes. Or someone his age. This is a very, so this is the movie equivalent. This is going to sound harsh. I don't mean it as harsh as it sounds maybe. Because I know this movie's heart is in the right, it's broken heart is in the right place.

Of World War II. Yeah, this is the movie equivalent of genocide. No, it's the movie equivalent of the kind of toy store they have in Brooklyn, and I know because I used to live there, where you walk in, all the toys are beautiful, they're all made out of wood, they all cost 25 to 45 dollars

They don't do much, but they look gorgeous They would look beautiful on a shelf in a child's room and parents love them and kids do not like them They are not attracted to them. They don't want to play with them. They do nothing This was kind of like that where it's like here's a kids movie, but it's really like It's a pet for a parent's emotions like it's for a parent's feelings more than it's frickin My kids really wanted to watch this movie with me. They kept saying, are you watching If? Can we go see If?

I was like, this movie better not stick around in the theaters because I don't want to take them to go see If. And I'm like, I'm doing it for the podcast. Can we watch it with you? No, I have to do it while I'm doing the dishes. You're going to be... Get back in your cage. Yeah, get in your cage.

Yeah. And while I was watching it, I was like, I think they'd be really... We want to spend time with you, Dad here are the lyrics to cat's cradle this is your life now it's a cycle of abandonment anyway the it was the I while I was watching movies like I think my kids would be really bored by this because this is a kid this is an adult's idea of what a kid's movie should be like the same way that when that Marcel the Shell movie came out, I was like, this is a very sweet movie.

I'm gonna take my kids to it. And they were like, eh, like boring. Like there's a certain type of movie or thing where adults are like, kids love this. And then kids don't love it. And the flip side of that is, weeks earlier on Father's Day,

I took my kids to see a screening of ET, which my older son had seen, my younger one had seen before, and that movie destroys a child. Like, and his child is so sad afterwards, but afterwards they're like, I hate that movie but I love it. And I'm like, yeah, there you go, that's a movie for kids. You made you feel something. Like delicious tears. Yeah.

Have my, take my Toronto kid. Yeah, I'm just licking the tears off their face, yeah. Mmm, precious salt, mmm. But this is... But this... Didn't we mention Elliot is sort of a mythical figure who... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a salt vampire. Loves all the misery of children. You can read about it in Persian mythology.

But you're right that in this sequence, this is not stuff that makes sense for a kid to be into, but also it doesn't make sense why Ryan Reynolds is like, uh oh, oh no, except the idea that it hurts him to see him doing that but also here's my main problem with it. Here's my main problem. Uh huh. Oh, we're getting into it finally. The point, well one of my problems, the point of this movie seemed to be these imaginary friends are going to teach this girl how to have fun again. Her life has been hard. It is time for her to learn how to use her imagination

and be playful. But halfway through the fucking movie, it's like she loves it. Ryan Reynolds needs to learn a lesson about being playful. And it's like, who is this movie about? Not since Big Trouble in Little China has the sidekick become the main character. And also, there are also the ideas that it's like hey you need to have fun again So you're gonna have fun by getting a fucking job. That's true. So if this is if capitalism So this is a an adults version idea of a kids movie. Yeah, what's a kid's idea of an adult? A kid's idea of an adult movie is probably a whole movie of people talking about politics reading the newspaper And kissing but not kissing open mouth kissing closed mouth. Yeah, probably they they all imagine my my dinner with Andre

They're like, yeah people talking. I'm you know what? Oh it is I think that is what kids and I mean they're lucky cuz my dinner with Andre's a great movie Yeah, I remember growing up It was like that was the there were two default references for movies that people don't like Ishtar was just what you mentioned What it was supposed to be really bad and my dinner with Andre was if a movie is really boring and my and seventh Seventh seal was if it's a foreign movie every foreign movie is the seventh seal every grown-up boring movie is my dinner with Andre And then finally as a young adult watching my dinner with Andre and being like I'm riveted

This is an amazing movie it It is so be and get It feels good to be and gang interview a bunch of different ifs with the intention of introducing them to her friend Daniel Benjamin Benjamin, sorry, sorry Sorry Sorry, no, it's all right Imaginary friend Stewart. I got you guys Thanks, man. I mean Stuart you are kind of transitioning slowly into being an imaginary friend Yeah, I kind of always you're getting cooler over time. Thank you

So she keeps trying to introduce them to Benjamin and he can't see them. It doesn't seem to work So she has to and this is also a great venue for all these cameos that we're getting It doesn't work out though. So she ends up going out to the Coney Island boardwalk, which is again, totally abandoned except for Lewis the bear, bear if. I mean, maybe this takes place during COVID and that's why there's nobody out on the streets. And he explains to her that like things that happen in your life. Don't follow that suggestion.

We don't need to walk down COVID Avenue. I mean, if you're going somewhere, please take another route than down COVID Avenue. I just know that when we start talking about politics, when we start talking about COVID, Dan starts getting into his anti-vaxxer. That's true, that's true. We don't need that. No, quit trying to paint me as a...

Running gag. I'm not a record. I don't need a needle stuck in me. All right, Dan, okay. All right. That's Dan's new character, the anti-vaxxer who's really into vinyl. I actually, I just got a tetanus shot two days ago

when Stuart was like, aw, I'm like, ow, ow, ow. Imagine if you could get a tetsuo shot and you turned into a tetsuo for Makira. Oh, sick. So she's hanging out with this old bear imaginary friend. And he explains that, like, I don't know, like. Imagine all that you can do with an imaginary friend, like sit on a bench and talk.

He's like, as long as you can remember it, it still exists forever. And then all of a sudden, the boardwalk is populated with people in old-timey outfits. And all the various imaginary friends are wearing also old-timey outfits. And they the various imaginary friends are wearing also old-timey outfits, and they have a really good time hanging out in Coney Island. And it's great, because finally, people are in Coney Island.

She goes to see her grandma, and her grandma explains that she used to be really into dancing, but she kind of gave up on that dream when she realized that she, I don't know, couldn't be a professional dancer or something. She says, like, I just got too too old or something like that, you know. And so we learn that Blossom, the animated bug, is her imaginary friend. So they basically like trick her into dancing by playing the perfect record. The soundtrack to Spartacus. Yes, they put it on.

And so Fiona Shaw does a really nice dance number that's very over-lit by Yanosh Kaminsky. And then Blossom is dancing in the background, they kind of dance together, and then Blossom starts to glow like she's becoming Super Saiyan. Yeah, I will say, there's a couple scenes in the movie where I was like, if the movie was more like this more often, this could be a really good movie.

I find something very beautiful in this because even though it's pretty syrupy, they don't overdo it in the same way, and it's not whimsical. It's like this old woman thinks that nobody is... She's literally dancing like nobody's watching, and that means she can dance the way she did when she was a ballerina, and Blossom does not enter into a hilarious, synchronized routine where they're dancing together and trading off fives and stuff like that that But they're instead like I thought this are you talking shit about the Sonic the Hedgehog movie? Not specifically but kind of

Yeah, I do know that she's not dancing to like a pop song from the 70s Spoiler I did not care for this movie at all But there are a couple there are parts in the second half of the movie where the movie does not overplay its hand And those are the only parts I'm like oh okay like you're coming close to getting an emotion out of me yeah but then blossom blows but like that's it it's not like her mom her grandmother is like blossom you're back yeah for like a set at the end she totally does yeah so they're not there yet yeah so so they have a new strategy they're not going to try and find new kids to pair them with.

They're going to try and make these old people remember that they like their imaginary friends or something. So they go and find... Sorry kids. Once again, the boomers are going to take all the stuff and leave you with nothing. Which is the thing is that, again... Imaginary friends, we don't want to let go of those. We'll keep that. And superheroes, we'll make them our own. Sorry, kids. Enjoy living in a climate-depleted wasteland with no new IP.

Yeah. Like a Rumpelstilts boomer. Let's stop making Star Wars for kids now. Let's make it super gross. Star Wars has got to be gritty, because I'm a grownup and I don't want to read books. I don't want to watch my dinner with Andre. I don't want to watch, why can't I have a cool sophisticated first story about mutant

turtles who do martial arts? I mean the first Ninja Turtles movie is pretty cool. Okay, so So they go to find blue's Friend which is play Bobby Moynihan Bobby Moynihan playing kind of a nervous character named Jeremy They trick him into smelling croissants and then blue and him connect over him. They have a really important This is so wait. I want to slow down just a moment of this one because I think Bobby Moynihan does it is a small part He's very good. I thought he was really good in it But also they're like okay his family owned a bakery and his favorite thing as a kid was croissants because it was a snack He could always had because they were making it so they they he's had a coffee shop

And he goes to the bathroom because he's practicing for a business sales pitch and he's like get it together man get it together You can do this and blue You know is is you know embarrassed and can't approach him in the men's bathroom at a coffee shop, the place everyone wants to meet their imaginary friend. And then they're like, here's what we'll do. And that's a spacious bathroom in a coffee shop in Midtown. A homeless person should be living in that bathroom.

And so they go, they're like, we'll follow him to where he's doing the presentation. Bee's like, I'll just sit there and eat a croissant and when he smells it just like the end of ratatouille It's gonna take him back to his childhood and you'll connect and I was like, I mean he was just in the coffee shop So he's smelling croissants in there. There were those specific croissants from the specific I don't know his family's bakery. I don't know, man. Had they got it within minutes? I'm not John Krasinski. It's like, make it something harder to smell than a croissant, which is everywhere.

Yeah, make it a croissant. He must be smelling it all the time. Like, at least make it like some kind of fancy French cookie. Make it a macaron or something like this. They only sell it most places and not every place, you know. They were afraid, if they made it a Madeleine, it would... It's a little on the nose. The estate of Proust would suit them. Yeah If they made it a Madeleine, it would... It's a little on the nose.

The estate of Proust would suit them. Yeah, they'd be sued by Proust, Inc. It's like, you know what? As a kid, he lived next to a tunnel, so the sound of honking horns really reminds us... So we'll have him in your car, we'll honk the horn. We're getting so close to the end. And it's like, you mean that sound he's gonna hear every day all the time? I have a ton left.

Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm gonna slow this down So they're celebrating their their new found success cow is finally like loosening up he's dancing that's Ryan Reynolds They think they're doing a great job. Unfortunately when they get back to the apartment Grandma's nervous because there was a problem at the hospital of some kind. Uh-oh, don't worry It's not really a problem because they show up at the hospital, he's just recovering. He's in a huge hospital room. It's amazing. This is the first time that John Krasinski's character

is wearing a hospital gown as well. Up to this point, he has been just hanging around in the hospital in his regular street clothes all the time, as if he's trying to convince them he's a visitor and can leave whenever he wants. I mean, it's a good trick. Doing goofs and dancing around with this IV bag I don't think that like hospitals like just have you there for like weeks on in beforehand if you're like, okay

Like usually your pre surgery time in the hospital is not like yeah an entire week of just hanging out Like unless maybe the doctor was just busy and they kept rescheduling the surgery. I don't know Anyway, it doesn't seem like he really needs to be in the hospital all the time. That's why hospitals are so expensive these days. So her dad is recovering, he's asleep. Because John Krasinski's using them up? Sorry, we don't have any free rooms. John Krasinski's just hanging out.

He's just doing bits. He just wants to goofs. Do you remember him from the office or Leatherheads? Well, probably not Leatherheads, but the office? You remember, he's Reacher. No, not that Reacher. Leather! Oh no, he's the other one. Oh no, he's not Reacher, he's Jack, what is he?

Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan, oh sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. So Bea is trying to connect with her father who's asleep and she basically monologues and talks about her entire life story. It's one of those moments where it's clearly like, I don't know, one of my issues is that it's like this is a child character Yes, who everything she says and does is like a little adult

She's wise beyond her years if the movie was consistent She would be like we'd see that she's kind of trying too hard to be a grown-up But instead she's just a precocious kid just talks beyond her years. Yeah, okay So she talks to her dad and then he wakes up and it's great He's fine and then when she turns around Okay, so she talks to her dad and then he wakes up and it's great, he's fine. And then when she turns around- She basically tells him a story about how she needs her dad. Yeah, then she turns around

and all the imaginary friends are gone. And then she goes back to the apartment to go talk to Ryan Reynolds and he's not even there. And she goes up in there and it's totally empty. There's nobody- There hasn't been a Ryan Reynolds here for 40 years! She goes to the cemetery, sees his grave, There's nobody. There hasn't been a Ryan Riddle here for 40 years. She goes to the cemetery, sees his grave, the suspenders are on the grave.

She cries a single tear, Elliot licks it for the salt. Oh, precious salt. The salt of the young is the best. Fresh salt, innocent salt. So there, everybody's happy, they're packing up. They're packing up, she finds a box of kid stuff, including a drawing she did when she was a child that includes her imaginary friend Calvin the Clown.

What? Ryan Reynolds was an imaginary fucking friend? All this time. So she goes back up to that, she goes back up to the attic storage room with the drawing and at this point I'm like is she gonna do some like hell raiser stuff Yeah, she's he's flesh to bring back now. She doesn't do that instead. She turns around and he's there with all the imaginary friends He's dressed up like a clown she like he's not it's like he's supposed to be a clown, but he doesn't have clown makeup

He's just wearing a hat and big gloves. He doesn't like to mess up his face even as Deadpool. He looks normal to me Okay, so this is a personal problem. I have with fucking Deadpool Okay, if he's not gonna be grosser than Darkman, I don't see what the problem is so that was in Darkman's contract Nobody can be grosser than him So she takes the flower he starts to glow like a super saiyan. I don't know the benefits here. She gives him a hug. That's when they play When I Was Younger and I'm like, fuck you movie.

It's such an on the nose fucking needle drop. It sucks. And then we get a montage of various adults running into their past imaginary friends, which are all characters we have previously seen, whether they were a receptionist or a guy working at Bodega. It does not make any sense. Like, there's no epiphany for them. They just run into their imaginary friends.

And some of them are happy, some of them are frightened. Yeah, because like a little ghost that speaks with Christopher Maloney's voice shows up, I'd be kind of scared. Yeah, I didn't see any of that because I was like, oh, the movie's over. Yeah, no. You got to give it that last... You know that there are scenes after the credits sometimes.

Look, here's the thing. I... Yeah? Yeah, I watched... Maybe my ire for if was... I watched this... Your if ire? On the train to Boston, and we didn't have an easy trip to Boston our original train was

Canceled we got stuck on a later train in the meantime We were like waited in a waiting room where there was like a domestic disturbance that had to be broken up by redcaps It was it only in New York a stressful day And then I was had to watch the whimsy of it so once it was done I'm like that should have lifted you out of that and she you should have been like, ah, there is joy in the world Yeah, and now does that look on your phone pretty good or yeah. Oh boy gorgeous as I think it's time for final judgments final judgments final if mints Is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie? We kind of liked

as I said Did not care for this. It is weird to me that there are movies like far more morally questionable, far sleazier that I love, and then this movie made me angry and I wanted to discard it. I feel like that says more about you than about the movie. Well, because it is so desperate to tug at the heartstrings.

And here's my thing about it is the movie wants to make you feel childlike wonder. And that is its goal. And that's its only goal. It has a feeling it wants to elicit. And it's trying to do that without realizing that in storytelling, sure, that can be a side effect. That can be something that effect, that can be like

something that you hope that the movie creates in you, but you do that by focusing on the characters, like building like an emotional connection or whatever. You can't just hammer like, wonder, wonder, you're feeling childlike wonder, and like that's what it felt like to me. So I wanted to snap my phone and throw it off the train Wow You're breaking your own things I know It's like when that when the FBI agents are going into the houses and goodfellas and the housewives are spitting on the floor Spitting on their own carpets. I don't understand why I'd make them I bring them make them coffee, you know Elliott let's do a reverse shit sandwich because I think that you are the easiest on this

So yeah, so there's a time in my life. I think that you are the the easiest on this so yeah So there's a time in my life. I think when I would have been like fuck this movie. I'm Dan McCoy Forget about it. What are you me? I kept the I kept yeah, I was you a while ago before we peed in that fountain together But there was a I kept while I was watching it. I like, this movie is failing at what it's trying to do. I find it very saccharine. I find it to be not... It's messy and it does... It's not...

It's just... It's unpleasant in that way. Like Dan said, it's trying to make you feel a feeling and you're not feeling it. So it keeps doing the same thing. Like a guy with a crush on a girl and she says no and he's like, I just have to figure out the right way to ask her and he won't stop. That's kind of what it feels like when you're watching it. But like that lonely guy,

I feel like John Krasinski's heart is in the right place. He just does not know how to do what he's trying to do. And so it's like, I could not help feeling... I could not... I mean, it's not as creepy as that guy who keeps asking about the girl. But it's a bad analogy. But I couldn't... While I was watching it, I could not, I mean, it's not as creepy as the guy who keeps asking out the girl, but it's a bad analogy. But I couldn't, while I was watching it, I was like, what he's trying to do is not a bad thing, but he's not, it's creating the opposite feeling in me. So maybe I was a little softer on it just because like, I get it sometimes when you're

a parent, you wanna make something for your kids and you make something that is not good and they don't like it, but you still try and so the whole time I was like I was really having one of those like bless his heart you know he means well it did not feel mercenary or we're kind of like cynical in the way a lot of children's entertainment is and so maybe that's why I was feeling a little softer on it I think that's fair I still didn't like it I would say if you're gonna watch, like if you want to watch a movie about kids kind of dealing with magical and whimsy potentially you know imaginary characters to help them get over a parent being in the hospital, just watch fucking Totoro, dude. Yeah.

Thank you. Yes. The fact that what he's trying to do has been done before hurts this movie But if I mean, I don't even John Krasinski is probably not like yeah, I'm the next Miyazaki, you know, that's I Don't know Maybe okay. So yeah, it's a bad bad movie. Do not watch. Okay Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries.

Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, Host Alston. And me, Host Brenda. We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, is Snoopy Mexican, and why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all.

Check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get podcasts. -♪ -♪ Hey, this is Mike Cablon. If you want to wait. And Sierra Cato. The hosts of TV Chef Fantasy League.

Where we apply fantasy sports rules to cooking competition shows. We're not professional chefs or fantasy sports bros. Just three comedians who love cooking shows and winning. We'll cover Top Chef, Master Chef, Great British Bake Off, whatever's in season really. Ooh, you know chefs love cooking whatever's in season. We draft a team of chefs at the top of every series. And every week we recap the episode and assign points based on how our chefs did. And at the end of the season, we crown a winner.

You can even play along at home if you want. Or you can just listen to us like a regular podcast about cooking shows. That's cool, too. Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Dan breaking in on this live show to say that if you would like to see us live,

but don't live in one of the places we have been able to get to so far, we will try and get to more places, then maybe it would interest you to know that we are coming back with Flop TV, which is our six monthly one hourish video live streams from September 2024 to February 2025. On the first Saturday of each month,

we are going to be broadcasting live with a series of video stream shows about bad or at least very silly sequels. If you go to theflophouse.simple ticks.com, you can get individual show tickets for seven dollars or 35 dollars for the whole season plus some small ticketing fees. And that's a price break on the season pass, the equivalent of one episode for free. All of the shows will stay available to watch on demand until the end of February 2025. So if you wanna catch up later in the run,

you can get a season pass halfway through and get access to everything you missed. Halfway through is just an example. You can do it right up to the end. We've kept the format that you guys enjoyed last time, but we've added a few new fun bits we're excited for you to see. And like I said

this season is all sequels. Number twos we're talking Robocop 2, Breakin 2, Electric Boogaloo, Caddyshack 2, Highlander 2 the quickening, Ski School 2 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, The Secret of the Ooze. Again, there's more details and tickets available at theflophouse.simpleticks.com. And if you wanna know about stuff like this, but also side projects like Elliot's comics work, Stewart's Twitch streams, my newsletter, producer Alex's new album, and also on top of that, get some silly Flophouse-related writing in your inbox

a couple of times a month. Why not go over to flophouspodcast.com and put your name in the email box on the front page and you will get that newsletter. It is called Flop Secrets. That is a pop secret pun. I'm explaining it to you. But you know what, we don't just promote ourselves.

The Flophouse is mostly supported by listeners like you, but we're also sponsored in part this week by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing your brand with Squarespace, it is easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything

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So if this sounds interesting to you, right for you, go to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And now let's go back to Boston and if the movie that hurt us all. So this is the last part of the show.

We're gonna stand up from our chairs and as a man who is aging, it'll take me a few moments. Okay, and I did it. And we're going to answer a few. Can you live tweet that next time, you getting out of a chair? Mm-hmm. I'll do it step by step.

I'm like, now I'm engaging my quads. Engaging quads. Look at this guy. Just stand up like nothing. Oh, look at the squat. Now Stuart's just shown off doing a squat on the stage. I can do that. Come on, all right.

All right, Dan's doing it. All right. Whoa! Squatting contest. All right, Dan's doing it. All right. Whoa! Squatting contest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing, I'm not impressed you did it. Look at that hip mobility. I'm impressed you got up from it.

Yeah, thank you. We're gonna take a few questions if people have them. If people have them. Dan, you're brilliant. Thank you. And then we're gonna end the show. There's someone raising, well, yeah. Hi, my name is Glenn, last name withheld.

I'm a big fan. Last time you were in Boston, I sent this question by email and it didn't get answered. So. Oh, double dipping. All right, okay. It made me a little sad. Oh, I'm sorry.

Starting with Stuart. Stuart, can you explain in detail the Primarchs, who are the soulmates of your fellow cast members? Sure, yeah, okay, let's see. We're talking about the Primarchs, the prima genders of the different space marine legions from Warhammer 40,000. I thought Primarch was sort of a store where you can buy... Oh Dan! A store! The only store we talk about is the Warhammer store. Okay. So let's see,

Dan would be, you know, he's a little prickly and tough, but and he kind of plays by the rules a little bit. I would say he's a Rogal Dorn. Elliot Cailin, of course, is very wordy and devious. I would say he's Lorgar! I have no frame of reference about it. And Stu, what about you? What are you? I'll trust that that's true. Me?

Fulgrim, baby. I'm the beautiful prince who turns evil. It made more sense when backstage we were mapping ourselves onto Winnie the Pooh characters. Yeah, that's fair. Dan's Winnie the Pooh, I'm Piglet, Stuart's Tigger, Dan is also Rabbit. What are you talking about? And Christopher Robin.

I'm a classic Eeyore. Eeyore too, wow. There's a lot. I mean, A.A. Milne's stories are basically the movie identity, but for you, right? Where do we have other... Where's the microphone? We've got microphones...

Yeah, that's where the microphone is. Yeah. This is Adam, last name with help. Hello. So, given that this is a kid's version of the Sixth Sense, like a kid's rip-off, like a whimsical Sixth Sense... Instead of seeing ghosts, they see imaginary friends. Yeah, so what would you think of other M. Night Shyamalan movies being turned into for

kids? I mean to be honest there's a I mean old is basically big like that's like you go to a beach you become a grown-up you see what it's like to be a grown-up and then you find a magic shell or whatever that turns you to a kid. Is there a part in old where a little kid touches a woman's boobs? Kind of. We were just sort of. Yeah, you're right. The two kids grow up and have a baby. Yeah. We were just sort of writing a Winnie the Pooh split for me. OK, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Where I inhabit all of the. I would love somebody as MPD, but they're all Winnie the Pooh characters, yeah. Yeah, Winnie's the Pooh. Winnie's the Pooh. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I think we've pretty gone into it. We've done it. We've done it. There's no way to do any better.

And devil, kids love pushing buttons in elevators. That was just produced by him. Oh, sorry. Yeah, sorry. Okay, throw me out, ref. The M. Night universe over there, I think we have. Hi, yes. It's kind of a selfish question. It's for all of you, but it starts with Stewart. I Was on a work trip to Brooklyn I came and visited Hinterlands, huh, and you were behind the bar. Whoa Great bartender and we had a good Discussion and I told you I was about to go see a screening of ready or not and you said whoa

I can't wait to see that come back and tell me how it is and I did I told you I was about to go see a screening of Ready or Not, and you said, whoa, I can't wait to see that, come back and tell me how it is. And I did, I told you I loved it, and you're like, I can't wait to see it. Now this was 2019, just before the pandemic. So for all of you, but Stuart first, did you get to see it, and did you like it or not? I would say I saw it and I liked it,

but it was a little disappointed. That's not a very exciting answer. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like those guys movies are a little, uh, I don't know, like easy. I liked that one a fair amount. I mean, Samara Weaving's great. Yeah, she's great. I liked it better than Abigail.

I mean, Abigail was sort of hamstrung by all of it being explained in the trailer. But I think that, think that if you're looking for a comedy horror movie for those guys, that's the one to watch, ready or not. I liked it. I love anything where I can see some Andy McD. Is that the cool kid way of saying Andy McDell? That's how kids say Andy McDell, Andy McD. So my younger son is obsessed with Charles Darwin right now, and I'm like, you want to

read another book about Chuck E. D.? And he does not like it. He doesn't like that at all. Show him respect father. I'm like tonight you want to read another book about Chardar? He's like no not at Dupley's his name is Charles Darwin. Where's the mic over there? Hi I'm Eric last name withheld If we're just going into stuff that hosts, lore that hosts know about. Elliot, you teased in a recent episode, you know about the Spider-Man villain, Carrion.

I was wondering if you wanted to explain it to the audience here. Yeah, you didn't tell us about Carrion on that episode. You're right, I didn't tell you about Carrion. I teased that I would explain the backstory of Carrion. I'm assuming he's some kind of villain who makes himself small enough that he can be taken onto the plane.

That's an interesting misunderstanding. It's actually the homonym Carrion is in like a corpse. That's what a homonym is? Yeah. Oh, Jesus. A homonym does not live in a hole in the ground, no. Like in the EC comic, Carrion Death, of course, the famous. Sure, yeah.

I'm just making another reference that no one else is going to enjoy. Yeah, anyway, he's a withered clone of another guy and there's a virus that can turn you into that clone and he was supposed to be Norman Osborn's dead body come to life and then the editors were like, we're not doing that. And so he's just a, he's related to Miles Warren who was the Jackal and he was the one who caused the whole clone saga. This is all stuff you guys know about, so. Yeah, I love how you've been asked to explain it,

because you pooh-poohed it at the time, and you're like, ah, well, you know. You guys know about this, come on. So anyway, for more about Carrion, I guess check my website. Carrion on about Carrion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ElliottCaylen.geosities.ca or something.

Is it geosities? It's not geosities. Oh, the geosity. Wait, how do you pronounce it? I would say geosities. You pronounce it geosities? Oh my god, we broke his brain. I gotta check my geosity.

Just gotta make some calls. We need another question, that was too shocking. I gotta check my geocity. Gotta make some calls. We need another question, that was too shocking. Let's do three more questions so we can cut it off clean. Do you have one over there? Yeah. Hello. Name is Bryant, last name withheld, and we seem to be on the topic of two stupid deep lore stuff, so here we go. We can also answer questions that are not about deep lore.

No, no, no, no, no, this is deep lore. On the podcast, Elliot and sometimes Stu will regularly drop the names of obscure Star Wars characters who have few or no lines and are only named in toys or ancillary media. Sometimes. These characters are sometimes affectionately referred to as Glup Shittos. My question is, which Glup Shitto would you pick to be the vice presidential running mate for Kamala Harris? Oh, interesting.

Finally we're getting into the issues. Okay, this is a good question. This is a good question. You got to balance out her strengths with new strengths. You got to bring, you do not want, you don't want Dr. Evazone or Pondababa because those guys are troublemakers. I mean, he's a bit guys are troublemakers. I Mean he's a bit of a troublemaker, but I think the kids are so into vaping maybe Elon sleazebag Anno the death stick stealer. Yeah, it's true

I mean that he has a checkered past but that's obviously not a barrier for some and he's and thanks to Obi-Wan He no longer does that. Yeah, I mean a man a man has a certain quiet dignity longer does that. Yeah. I mean, a man-a-man has a certain quiet dignity. I mean, I just, I mean, I like a good good morning guard. Like, I don't care which one. Yeah, blue collar understands the regular folk. I understand. Yeah, yeah, of course. Likes axes. Likes axes. Yeah, sure. Bringing in the axe vote. Yeah. Maybe like a rancor handler. I mean, he's a man who's comfortable showing his feelings. So, yes. He understands loss. Yeah. Maybe like a rancor handler. I mean he's a man who's comfortable showing his feelings. So yes. He understands loss. Yeah and he might have a rancor if he can find another one. He is the guy that we all thought that senator from where was it? The guy who wears a sweatshirt all the time. The rancor keeper is the guy we thought he was.

Yeah. Yeah just kind of sensitive but blue collar, he's good with animals. Okay, one more from over here and then one more from over here and then we'll say good night. I mean, he doesn't have a lot of political leadership experience. You want a Star Wars character with executive ability? Sure, yeah. Maybe, so, I was going to say the guy who runs the most eyes of Cantina, but he's got it. He's anti-droid That's not gonna fly. Yeah Yes, hey guys, I'm George the other day my my mom watched the kids and she sent me a text that night saying Oh, we watched if and I loved it exclamation mark Previously we had disagreements about cats where she genuinely thinks it's a really good movie and says that I just Cats where she genuinely thinks it's a really good movie and says that I just don't understand it and that's why I don't think that it's good but I like

that response but I'm come back to cats when you've experienced some things but what is a movie if you wanted to get a sense of someone's taste as like a bellwether you'd ask them their opinion of a movie to get kind of a feel for their taste I'm gonna before we answer this I'm gonna say I don't approve of this this way of judging people Well, I asked them about one movie being like, how do you feel about this one? No, no, no I want to say red watchmen to be fair To be fair. He just said to get a sense of their taste. Okay, fair, fair. He did not say necessarily that there was a judgment attached to it.

Okay, you're right. Judgment free, how do you feel about this movie? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's an easy one. If somebody doesn't like my cousin Vinny, they're a monster. I mean, this is, I mean, like like it's a weird one because I'm like well you can get a pretty good idea of someone's feelings about movies if you make them watch like Possession or like Mother and see how they respond to that.

Oh yeah do you like Housu? But if someone's like my favorite movie Boondock Saintsock Saints, sorry Boston, then I'll be like, I don't know. Yeah, that's a really good one, because I feel like in college there are a lot of people who are really into Boondock Saints. I'm like, I'm sure you're lovely, but I don't think we're going to get along. Another writer recently told me that they had to update their references because the thing they used to say just to describe certain types of guys was, well you know Fight Club is his favorite movie. And then she started talking to people who were young enough that they're like, what? Like I don't know, okay, I don't know, like so.

Wait, what's the new Fight Club is their favorite movie? I don't know. I don't know what the new Fight Club is. Joker. It's probably Joker. Yeah, it's Joker. Yeah. It's just Joker. The new Joker's got a chute. It's Joker.

What? The guy's twisted. Forget about it. They've got Lady Gaga's Joker. What? The guy's twisted. Forget about it. They've got Lady Gaga in there. We got one more over there. Hi. Hollis, last name withheld.

I would like to play Radio Zork. Oh. Oh, let's dust it off. Let me blow the dust off this old console, this old Tandy. Okay. Boot it up. Let's play some Radio Zork. Is there any way that I can acquire an alligator?

I think you're going to have to phrase that in the form of an order command. I would like to acquire an alligator. You look around the doorstep, searching for an alligator. None are to be found. Thank you for playing Radio Zork. Tune in next week for the you for playing Radio Zork. Thank you so much. Tune in next time for the next move on Radio Zork. Thank you so much for coming here to WBUR City Space. We're going to be signing some merch, selling some merch, just chatting out there. But now we have to go back there for

a moment before that. We'll be in the back for a couple minutes, yeah, and then we'll come out and we can say you things and you can and then sign them and then you take them home. Or we'll just say hi. But we can do that too. But thank you so much for being here. For the Flamm House, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kalin. Thank you, Boston. Good night. Appreciate it. Oh, this guy. Oh. Thank you. We forgot to mention to you, Stuart is now more virtual than meat. He no longer exists in physical space.

Yeah, if you want, you know. Elliot, if you've been following me on TikTok, you'll see that I am plenty full of meat. Please, please let it be just a feeding series that you're doing. Technically we're all full of meat. We're made of meat. Hello, Boston! Hey! Hey! Talk about your cities of meat, right?

Uh-huh like what name them What is the Boston meats? Well? You go to your Boston market and you get Boston chicken. Yeah, huh a Yankee bean is just a testicle right? That's Right is that wait is is lobster meat is that a is that thank you? Okay? I'm right. Yeah, right You did guys are always trying to gaslight me Okay, I'm right. Yeah, right. You did guys are always trying to gaslight me They know I'm right. You've been trying to convince him for years that lobster is not me and someone is all on it in one fell swoop Maximum fun a worker-owned network of artists own shows supported directly by you