The Flop House - Ep.#461 - An Easter Bunny Puppy

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

From the (?)genius(?) that brought us the legendary A Talking Cat!?! comes another tale of a talking animal and the humans who live with him in a California porn-shoot-mansion, doing mundane things in scenes that take way too long, in-between luxurious establishing shots and footage of people driving. It's the absolutely bonkos Smallvember new classic, An Easter Bunny Puppy.Our first Chicago show sold out, so we ADDED A LATE SHOW! Come see us live!OR, if you prefer to watch us from the comfort of your own home: Flop TV Season 3 tix are ON SALE!Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!An Easter Bunny Puppy has NO Wikipedia page!Recommended in this episode:Dan: Buffalo Bill and the Indians (1976)Stu: Lurker (2025)Elliott: The Vourdalak (2023)Go to Leesa.com for 25% off mattresses, PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code FLOP, exclusive for our listeners. 

On this episode, we discuss an Easter Bunny puppy. I thought we were discussing a movie, but I guess we're discussing a puppy. and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. Hey, Stuart Wellington and Dan McCoy. I'm Elliot Kalin.

That's my name. Thanks. We've all successfully set our own names. But for how long? Time for a break. Time for a union mandated break. Yeah, we earned it. We earned this.

Time for me to slide down that bronosaurus. Whitten time, boys. Do you think that Bronosaurus eventually went up to Mr. Slate and was like, I got to file a harassment claim against Fred Flintstone. He's always running his feet along my tail. I have so much back chafing. Because you know those fucking feet are so calloused, right? Oh, yeah.

He uses them to drive in that car. You're like fucking catcher's mitts. Yeah. Well, this isn't Flintstone's... What fetish podcast? This is a podcast. Could be if we had our eyes on the prize, boys. Yeah.

What a dream that would be. but instead we're stuck talking about movies that have been either critical or commercial flops or in the case of this movie I don't think anyone bother reviewing it and I don't believe it was ever released in theaters I think I assume this was just this was just kind of in the middle of the night

like a toxic waste barrel just dumped onto America's streaming services Well let's not judge already though this is a Yeah you're right let's not judge it might be great This is, of course, small timbre or, as some say, small Vember, where we watch small movies. I don't even remember anymore. You say Small Vembers, so I shouldn't have reminded you. Guys, this small Vember really reminded me why I wish this podcast was always Small Vember.

Yeah. But, I mean, like, in general, we try and not, as we say, punch down to movies that people weren't going to care about anyway. Over the years that we've been doing this podcast, we've become such media titans that every movie is punching down for us now. That's true. Yeah, we're a... Also, like, if we were only watching

these super pure, uncut weirdo movies from Small Vember, I feel like we'd get kind of desensitized and, like, nothing would give us joy anymore. No, I think we would watch nothing but these, and then one day we would go into a movie theater and watch a big budget movie, and it would be the greatest movie we've ever seen, and it would also be terrible.

We'd go in and see, like, Just a piece of junk and we'd be like, oh, my God, it's so amazing. Look at out the craft that went into this. This must be the greatest movie ever made. So I think we would just risk these stabilizing our compasses. Scenes end at a natural conclusion as opposed to just petering out or not, or looping. Where's the 20-second long establishing shot of a stream that has nothing to do with the plot or the action of the movie? Where's the master shot of the outside of the house that occurs in the middle of a scene that you then cut back to?

None of these performers seem to have noticeably had laryngitis throughout most of the shoot. Interesting. Yeah, we got to keep it to one month as a treat for ourselves. I think that's really it. But yes, we watched an Easter bunny puppy.

It's the opposite of no nut November, I guess, where it's like extra orgasm, September. Yeah, yeah, yeah, non-stop nut September. Oh, boy. That's not going to be too much. Oh, man. It's too much jism. and everything. I don't know.

I drink a lot of pineapple juice and a lot of water. You're the guys who brought up nutting. I was sitting here peacefully. For the children listening, we were talking about actual tree nuts, walnuts, things like that. This is how you, innuendo, Dan.

Come on. Innuendo, yes. Not outuendo. You used outuendo, Dan. Yeah. This is, of course, another film by David de Cato.

Well, I mean, the director's trademarks are all over it to be crank. I just like the way it's almost like everyone's familiar. Yeah, everyone knows. Well, so you may be, a long time listeners may remember we discussed a talking cat. So said because it has an interrobang with either two bangs or two interos. I can't remember which at the end of it. We'll let the philosophers argue it out over the centuries. And in the same year, I believe, he also made.

a movie about an Easter bunny puppy. Back to back. The one thing that I didn't like was finding out how this movie came around the same time. So I'm like, wait a minute. We're doing a small of ever movie that's like 13 years old. What are we doing? What we're doing is... Statute of limitations. Exactly. What we're doing is I saw this movie with my bad movie watching crew that I watch movies outside of the flop house for some... Makes it sound like you a bunch of bruisers that kind of like rampage through a town watching bad movie it's like a wild one you know but it was so special that i knew that i needed to share with

you two fellows i love that dan's the kind of sicko who has multiple bad movie viewing yeah i mean i i i i i duck out about half the time these days because there is a limit yeah well you know if you if you love what you do you never work a day in your life so so true so true elliot i believe you're trying to talk about this movie i am going to be doing the summary for this one. This is, I mean... So Dan and I watched this together. We plop down on the couch

and watch it together because we figured this would be a special one to enjoy as friends. And you know what? It was great. I wish I could have joined you, especially for the five-minute Easter egg dying montage.

Was it only five minutes? I wanted to go back and time it. So I actually timed it. But my timing disagrees with, I think, with the IMDB trivia mention of it. So we'll get to that. We'll get to that. So an Easter Bunny Pu

As Dan said, this is another from the studio of David Dakota. He didn't write this one, I don't think. I don't know he doesn't write him. He just directs him right. But I don't think he's the credited director. I think they credited someone else, but that's fine. The logo opens, of course, for fun family features. This is neither fun and barely a feature.

And the opening titles are stock photos of dogs above an endlessly repeating parade of rolling CGI Easter eggs. did you guys this was one of a couple times the movie Dan and Stu where I have to admit I broke the rules

and hit that 10 second skip button quite a bit so that I didn't have to sit through the entire endless repetitive parade to be correct we watched the whole thing

we were enjoying the looped music now I thought it was good the movie begins as all great movies do with a not full frame like it doesn't actually fill the whole frame

image of the movie's own poster thumbnail so it's like if you clicked on this on Tooby and then the movie started to be like Wait a minute. Am I looking at the tubi screen again?

Yeah. And there's a little Vio over it. There's a kid that's talking, but we're going to find out it's actually a dog. This is Russ the dog. He says, Hey, have you ever heard of this story

of the Easter bunny puppy? Well, I'll tell you, that puppy on the poster, he's not even in the movie. That's not the Easter bunny puppy. I'm a dog. For the next 90 minutes, you're going to be able to hear my thoughts

through telepathy. But my owners and humans can't hear my thoughts. Only you. And I'm like, this movie is setting up its rules hard. I love that. Way in on its rules. Like, it's already like being like, okay, fuck you internet database goofsters.

Like, these are not going to be goofs. Like, I'm telling you, like, this is, yes, this isn't the same puppy. That's why we know. And also, don't be like, why do we hear the dog's voice? But nobody else hears it. Look, like, these are Garfield rules? Are you not familiar with Garfield, you idiots? You know, but Russ has a lot of attitude.

Russ has a dog with a lot of attitude, but it's also a kid's voice. So it's very funny when a kid is mispronouncing words or like a, Slowly reading through words, but with attitude. Uh-huh. We start, of course. Very, very Bart Simpson. Yes. Oh, yeah.

You know. Bark Simpson, if you will. There's an overhead shot up. Thank you for asking permission. Yeah, thanks what you got to. These days, you got to, you know. Can't be too careful. Overhead shot.

What? Jesus. No, I was saying California is a two, is a, is a, you need permission to refer for a pun. It's one of those states. No, okay. It's a double. permission state. So

overhead shot of some excerpts and then a long shot of a beach. So does this movie take place the house they're in? Is it at the beach or is it in an excerpt far from the beach? Because we get kind of competing establishing shots of where we're located. Later they go up to the woods of course and we see a stream a lot of

times. But where is this house other than Southern California, where is this house located? I don't know. Does that coastline look like Southern California? No, it does not. It does not. It looks like. It looks like a Caribbean beach. It looks like a Caribbean beach. Yeah, exactly.

The beach is in California don't tend to have palm trees on the sand and coconuts everywhere, yeah. So, Russ, he introduced himself to us. He's a dog. What kind of dog is he? A corgi. Yeah.

A corgi? Okay. He does not live with... You can't tell because he's swinging that fat ass all over the place? I only, I couldn't tell because I'm like, the queen of England is not here. So I guess it's not a corgi, but... Russ is a cork.

He's real smug. He lives in a mansion. He is owned by his human, Jennifer Diamond Okay This is the same mansion From a talking cat Is the same mansion

From the talking cat His owner Jennifer Is also from a talking cat Although this is the actress Christine DeBelle Who Dan would know best From Allison Wonderland An X-rated musical

From 1976 I did in fact He did Inform Stewart was like She's from a talking cat Right And then he looked up

Some other thing That she was in I'm like yeah And the X-rated Alice in Wonderland Yeah she's in fucking Meatballs So my joke about

Dan being a perv was actually not a joke but an accurate reporting. I mean, I have not actually seen that movie. I just am aware. Okay. He's worried it would, uh, it would. More of an intellectual purr.

When it comes to Al someone to them porn, you're more of a three girls, uh, van. I don't know what that is. Wasn't that the lost girls, lost girls, that Alan Moore. Oh, no, Dan doesn't want us to talk about that. No, no. The one Alan Moore work where I'm like, I think I am not going to read this. Let's, yeah, let's do a skip on this one. Sure.

Let's do a little skip. You know what? I think I'm going to use my hall pass on not reading. this one, Alan. And maybe I'll just read Jerusalem again, see if I can get through it. Yeah, good luck.

Jennifer Diamond, she is a mystery writer. We watch her dictating the end of a mystery level into a tape recorder for a long time. She is dictating paragraphs of this novel

into a tape recorder. And, like, you can tell this is a big budget movie because this writer, of course, is using one of those special laptops that has duct tape over the Apple logo. Oh, yes, that's a special

writer's only. laptop. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's how you know that this is a high-class production. Russ then introduced us to Jennifer's teen daughter, Lucy, who was also in a talking cat. Oh, yeah. She has a crush on Jake, the neighbor boy who just moved in next door.

Let me guess. He was in a talking cat. And who was also in talking cat? I don't think he was. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he was. I don't remember. And Jennifer warns Lucy, do not trust men. Oh, no. You were thinking of Eric Roberts. Jake is not Eric Roberts. No, no, he's not. Yeah.

Russ finally gets around to saying, oh, hey, by the way, there's this Easter Bunny puppy story. I guess I'll tell it to you now. But first, there's some more beach and house exterior shots. Yeah, Jake escaped a talking cat. He was not... So, the, what, Jennifer Diamond, the writer, while she's dictating her latest mystery novel... Miss Marbles, her mystery character. She's wearing, like, a weird wig.

Is that, like, a wig for her to get into the Miss Marbles character? I believe so. So you'll learn that she needs to kind of, like, visualize her story. stories and see them acted out in front of her, which is not a thing that a lot of writers do, but maybe some writers do it. I don't know. Yeah, this was many times during this picture,

I was like, this woman maybe is not cut out to be a writer, because it seems like she has no imagination, suspension of disbelief, like ability to like visualize a thing without having someone dress up in costume and do it in front of her.

All things that I think are... Numbers don't lie, buddy. She wasn't the selling novelist. Dan, you might be right, because she's about to have her imagination challenged by her literary agent who faxes her a picture of the movie's poster, which says Easter Bunny Puppy and has that image of a puppy with Bunny Ears on. And she's told by her agent, this is your new book. It's a family book.

Your last mystery book didn't sell very well. So you're going to write a family holiday book. And she's like, what do I know about Easter? I'm Jewish. Does this happen a lot? I will say sometimes my literary agent will be like, here's an idea that you might want to think about. Here's a kind of book that I think there's room for in the market. But he cannot send me a cover and say, you're writing this book now.

And then maybe like, I've got to do it, I guess. He's my boss, you know. So, no, this, I assume it doesn't happen this way, the same way. Anyway, they don't know much about Easter. They're Jewish. Their Jewish identity does not play into the rest of the movie, particularly. They fall into Easter. Don't they go on like an Exodus to the woods or something?

That's very Jewish. If you take access to me, a leaving of one place for another place, then yes, I guess they do do an ex-dis in the wood. Okay, so I'm right. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. She talks to Lucy for a while. She's like, what if the bunny, the puppy is the bunny's assistant? And Jennifer is like, I need your help, Lucy.

I need you to help me visualize this book. And Lucy's like, all right, I'll help you for two straight days. If you leave me alone the rest of spring break so I can go make out with Jake, the boy that I have a crush on, who I've never talked to before. Okay, that's interesting. So that's probably the only hijinks that happen in this movie. Oh, boy, Stewart, get ready for some hijinks. Also, that I'm going to help you for two days.

Thing goes right out the window. Like that, there's no ticking clock to this one. Jennifer is dictating a story about an egg hatching a bunny and a puppy, and Lucy is in an Easter Bunny costume acting it out so that Jennifer can visualize it. And they argue about how unrealistic this all is, but, uh-oh, there's a doorbell, the doorbell rings. Lucy, I think, forgets she's dressed as the Easter Bunny, answers it. It's Jake and his mom, his mom, Beth, played by Lisa London, who Dan will remember best from Savage Beach.

And? And a talking cat. Hots. She's in Hots also, I didn't realize that. So I guess Dan will know her best from Hots. The movie I've never actually seen. I've only ever... Oh, wow.

I don't even know what it stands for. Honestly, like... What does Hots stand for, Dan? You know, let over to Criterion, dog. That's the question that the movie seeks to answer. But, um... Yeah, that's Dan's Criterion Closet Pick. He's like, where's Hots?

I don't see it in here. Well, I'll just write Hots on one of these... I'll write Hots. in this case for winter light. Hold on a second. Grading on the very steep curve of sex comedies, that one's actually kind of sweet and nice because at least it's about a bunch of like horny sorority sisters

who have like high-spirited hijinks rather than like horny dudes who do awful things. Oh, okay. Well, so that's Dan's recommendation for today. Hotz. Yeah, check out Hots, I guess. Not Hot to Trot. It's a different movie. That's about a talking horse.

Now, the level of... Production values, very low. In Hottetron? Well, I mean in this movie, but Hotson, it's not like it's a huge budget movie, you know. The level of lack of knowledge that this woman has about Easter and how much research she needs to do. Would you say that that rings true as a man who is Jewish, like, it's probably true that, you know, like Christianity hasn't just culturally steamrolled everything and, like, put his tendrils into the... It pretty much has. I would say if you are, I would say

the fact that she's like, what even happens an egg or whatever? I think even if you're Jewish, you know that the Easter bunny has eggs, you know that people are collecting eggs. You don't necessarily, I don't know that every Jew knows the Easter, what is Easter's commemorating in the resurrection of Christ. Sure, but this movie doesn't appear to either. I'm not sure all Christians know that Easter

represents the resurrection of Christ. This is a completely secular version of Easter that is presented here. There's no mention of the Bible. In some ways, this is the most insidious form of Christian culture entangling secular culture because it's like, hey, you don't even

need to be Christian to celebrate Easter. Like, just come on and collect these eggs with us. Hey, come on, it's just fun. It's just about fun and finding eggs. Hey, have you heard the good news? And then they're like, he did it. He grabbed the egg. Swarm, swarm, swarm.

Yeah. Torture him until he converts. That's how they did in the Spanish Inquisition. They were like, they were like Jews, why don't you come and collect some eggs? Oh, we like eggs, sure. of course, swarm, swarm, torture him, convert him.

That's what they did it. A lot of Dracula was did it. Dracula was undercover as part of, he was undercover as a vampire investigating the Spanish Inquisition because they thought he'd drink colored eggs. Well, you wouldn't drink them, Tracol.

Perhaps this egg is full of blood. No, it's just an egg, Dracca, there's no blood in it. There's a little bit in the embryo. Perhaps it is full of delicious albumen. Is that a thing that you like Dracula? I have a variety of likes and dislikes. It's not just blood for me.

Just because I don't drink wine doesn't mean I don't like other things. I contain multitudes. Don't limit me based on your preconceived notions of what the vampire is like. So you don't drink blood. Of course I do. I love it. Do you have any? Everyone thinks I just walk around in a cape and a tuxedo and like a weird medal that I must have gotten in some ancient war.

You don't do that? Well, of course I do it. but it's not the only thing I wear. I wear all the biggest of times. I mean, it's really cool. If I'm going to go do hot yoga, I don't wear this outfit. Do you do hot yoga, Dracula? Not too hot.

Wow, he's doing some schick. It's slowly turning into Hotel Transylvania. Yeah, yeah. So, Lucy, forgetting she's dressed as the Easter bunny. Is that Hotel in the Catskills? I don't want to talk about Dracula and the Catskills because then we started getting into anti-Semitic vampire trips. Yeah, you're right.

cats kills i would kill a cat no dracula that's not what it means calm down buddy yeah it's it's dutch it means something different so um well lucy she forgets she's dressed the door for jake and her mom she's so embarrassed and she gets mad at her mom and uh jennifer's like but i need your help i gotta write this book we'll have to celebrate easter this year cut to the egg dying montage okay so they die easter eggs i timed it at four and a half straight minutes of screen time roughly four a minute's you know, give or take a few seconds. And it's just them dying eggs the same kitchen counter

where the camera pans back and forth along the counter occasionally dissolving to the same shot of the camera panning back and forth. Guys... Some of those shots are looped. Yeah, that's true.

As the actors make small talk to one another that we cannot hear that is drowned out by the music. Some sort of Cassio library music is playing. And how did you guys feel while watching this? Did you feel like it would never end and this is just your life forever now?

Just watching the die eggs. It's kind of beautiful. When the first, you know, like, Anna said this is the second time I've seen an Easter bunny puppy. So you were prepared for this, yeah. No skips, yeah. I was waiting for this to happen.

I'm going to react. It is one of those times you're like, I think what happened was watching the realization that this was still going on, dawning on me. At first, Stuart seemed disinterested. And then the, more and more, I'm like, really? Yeah, Stuart.

Again? Yeah. It was hampered a little bit by Stuart, checking his phone during it so he didn't like notice for a while. A very natural and understandable. That's why you gotta watch these things in the theater, you know?

Well, when I watched it the first time around with the group like, Audrey, could not stop laughing as it started just like extending past the point of madness, she just couldn't stop. It is audacious, the way that this movie

wastes the time of the people watching it. With the long establishing shots of unrelated places, with this sequence. Like, this movie is like you have a limited amount of life on this earth and I'm going to suck up

as much of it as I can for no reason. It's a moment like this where, yeah, it's a moment like this where you realize Russ's comment that this movie is going to be 90 minutes long.

You realize that's a threat. That wasn't a promise. It was a warning. Yeah. So they die eggs for a long time and inspires the mom for an idea

about a mutant bunny puppy chicken, but that leads into a story about how Lucy's mom was almost a bunny before she met Lucy's dad. This is the kind of winking reference that all good kids movies do to the fact that one of the lead actresses did pose for Playboy in the 1970s. So that's a little Easter egg,

pun intended, for all the vintage porn collectors in the audience for this family film. Now, I do know that teenagers are clearly, like, they're insecure, they aren't necessarily thinking rationally about things like everything perspective is not high on a teenager's skill set but it is ridiculous to

the point like we'll see later on how ridiculous it is the level at which this teen girl is having like is worried about her crush seeing her in a bunny suit around Easter you know as if like no one has ever found it like cute that might happen I'm I wonder I wonder if Maybe he knows she's Jewish, and he's like, are you blaspheming and are, like, taunting the sacraments? Is that what you're doing? You dressed up in an Easter bunny costume so that you could put on some sort of satirical pageant, making light of my beliefs? Again, I don't think that the secular elements of Easter are cared that much about from that perspective. I don't know, Dan.

We live in a country where a lot of people get very mad when the people at Walmart say happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. So I don't know. That's true. Yeah. So anyway, I know that I will probably get in trouble for what I'm going to say about this, which is that... Wow. Don't care about Easter. Don't like Easter bunnies.

Don't care about it. But any holiday where someone's going to hand me, chocolate in the shape of an animal, I can get on board for that aspect of the holiday. Yeah, sure. I like chocolate. I like animals. I like eating both of them. Yeah, I'm not a huge Easter fan, but I am a huge fan of Critters, too. So I guess...

Yeah, that takes place in Easter. Yeah. To make the connection that the audience may not. If our audience is familiar with Critters 2, turn this episode off, go watch it. I mean, much the same way that, to me, Christmas is the Gremlin's holiday. Dan, so you're the only one who came from a background of, like, extreme faith. You know, you were raised in a, in a household that was strictly Calvinist, right? Yeah, extreme faith.

What are you feeling? A lot of snowboarding. This is in your daddy's Jesus. A lot of in-line skating with sermons. What was your, what's your feeling about Easter? clearly it is the sort of cornerstone religious holiday for Christianity more so than like in a religious sense more so than Christmas which is just like okay this person was born whereas like the the resurrection the crucifixion and the resurrection are kind of the point

of that ultimately more important than the birth right yeah yeah but it's what makes him it's what, in theory, makes Jesus more than just a guy with some interesting ideas. Have you heard of him? His name was Jesus and I'd like to tell you a story. I have heard. But an extreme red dude he was. But culturally, like, it never made much of an impact on me because I'm like, well, Christmas is the good one.

You get all these presents. Like, I don't care about like getting up in the morning. I enjoyed it. Like, yeah, like, I'll get up in the morning and find some eggs that we died the other day. So they don't sneak up the house when we can't find them. And I'll have some chocolate in a little basket, but...

Chocolate and hard-boiled eggs. Yeah. Two great tastes. Go great together, I guess. It's good that I have a Bible scholar and a comic scholar here, because I have a question for you. Is Lobo a thinly veiled Jesus Christ figure? Why?

Well, he's called the main man. He's died and come back many times. He's died and come back. He's got a similar hair and beard style. He's been to heaven and taught and dealt with the angels. Yeah. I would say no I'm going to add my voice to the course of no

I think Jesus did a lot less smoking cigars and fragging bastages So in his time on it Maybe it's in the apographer, Elliot That's how it's that idiot And low did the son of God Fragg the Bastages For anyone who's not familiar with Lobo

That's okay He really doesn't like bastages though He really doesn't like him He likes to frame him, yeah. He's the last Zarnian, you know, so. He's a space bounty hunter who rides around on a space motorcycle. Spades around on a space motorcycle, that's right. And there's something lemmy-ish about his look, you know?

He's kind of what, like, if an anti-social 12-year-old was like, what would be the best comic. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, and he has a dog, yeah. A dog, but doesn't he have a daughter? Didn't he bring his daughter into? Yes, he does have a daughter. I wrote a comic once that she was in.

I forgot her name, though. She was a member of the Teen Titans. for a little bit, Lebo's daughter. Yeah. Not a great dad. No, yeah. Let's go say that. Nothing would indicate

that he would be a great dad. No, I don't think so. So, Russ has been away for a while. Well, they've been dying these eggs. Who wouldn't want to go away for a while? Well, they're dying these eggs. And Jake returns him, and Jake and Lucy hang out a little bit, and Jake reveals that his dad is in prison for a jewel robbery,

or rather a Faberjé egg robbery that he says he didn't commit. And he and his mom are going to go back to their old home for a traditional Easterer. The old home that they were ostracian, from because his dad is a jailed, convicted felon, they still go back every year for the Easter egg hunt. It's tradition. They just can't, they just can't avoid it. They love it. So, wait, their old home was in like a log cabin in the woods. Yeah, like a camp size. The, like, home that they have fled to is in what has to be some kind of affluent L.A. suburb. It looks like it's like Covina or something like that. Like,

it's someplace where you can get a huge house for not that much money, I'm guessing, because it's just like in the middle of nowhere. That's my guess. Although, the shots of Caribbean Beach Make it seem like it's on a beach somewhere. It's very much the kind of house You rent for a film shoot For an independent movie or a porno movie Big rooms with lots of windows

There's a staircase that kind of winds Around the inside of the house There's like a car parked in the living room That's the funniest thing is as some kind of art piece They have just the body of a VW bug In the middle of the house Which is I've never seen that to be honest In my time in LA

but maybe I'm not going to the right houses. So she goes, he's like, we're going back to this Easter egg hunt. He's the Easter egg hunk. Yeah, that could have been the name of the move. Yeah, an Easter egg hunk, question mark. And so she tells him, that wasn't me dressed as a bunny. That was my twin sister Marion,

who wears glasses and loves Easter. And Lucy and her mom agree to go to the Easter egg hunt, but now she has to pretend to be sisters. Oh, no. The speed at which, like, we're doing the actual this real movie is much slur of it. Like

We don't I just heard for new first time listeners Dan's not implying that we usually narrate the movies in real time

no no but the speed is great don't get me wrong but I think that it it glosses over a little bit yeah the degree to which

like so this teen girl was so distressed by her crush seeing her in a bunny costume around Easter

so distressed by how she was dressed yeah that she is is going to pretend that she is one half of a pair of twins and it was the other loony twin that did that.

Yes. But she's a cool girl who is, you know, ready to make out. So that's the shenanigans. That's the kind of tight shenanigans you'd expect from an episode of Faulty Towers, but in this case, it is an Easter bunny puppy.

Yes. I mean, it really shows you that this is a sitcom level, this is like 70s or 80s sitcom level plotting that they have stretched out through long Easter-a-dying montages and shots of... And a talking dog. Beaches and streams.

Yeah. And the dog is... It's very funny how little of an element the dog and his talking are in this movie about the Easter bunny puppy. He's ostensibly the narrator, but he mostly just says things like,

oh boy, humans are so weird or like, Lucy, you're crazy. That kind of stuff. The kid who is doing this is doing a great job. You know, like, as you say, the kid is a kid. He's a kid.

He's a kid. He's a kid. stuff, but it is very funny to me sometimes when they cut to, like, the dog reacting just because of the kids' voice. I don't know. It looks like he's now, you know, he's now brought it older, and he looks like, according to his I and TV that he's doing a lot of, like, working in production for various TV shows. Oh, that's nice. Oh, cool. So, um, an Easter bunny puppy, I think is still his major credit.

Maybe it inspired him to work in the movie. But this dog is the sanest character in the movie because it exists to be like, what? Why are you doing that? Well, he's the Garfield, and everyone else is John Arbuckle. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, Mom and Lucy, they drive to the cabin for a while as they discuss this new Marion character

because mom has to be in on it so that she doesn't blow her cover that she has two daughters. What I love is that this is another one of David de Cateau, like, signatures. Is the driving sequence where it takes, like, four or five minutes, and it's just tons of shots of the car going around curvy roads. And also, I noticed during this, like Stuart was pointing out that he favors a close-up from just below the person's face.

And then in the car, he shot the dog the same way. He likes to give a sense of grandeur and majesty. Slightly, the camera shakes slightly to give you that kind of that gorilla filmmaking. Yeah, like a gorilla. As the camera. Yeah, that's classic guerrilla filmmaking. So, Russ complains, he's like, my humans, they do these silly things, but I'm compelled to help them when they're in trouble.

I don't know what help he's claiming that he's providing to anyone in this movie. I mean, eventually he will. Eventually, he'll solve all of their problems. By accident. I mean, they'll save them, I guess, at the end. Yeah. Right away, Lucy has to pretend to be Marion for Jake. Now tell me, is this like a dead ringer style tortiforce

where there's clearly two different personalities at work here? How different are Marion and Lucy? I mean, she does like... Glasses. Yeah, she ups the, like, I'm awkward for the, what is it, Marion is that the one? Yeah, yes, Marion, the librarian. I mean, I think that this, like, she puts in a fine performance for her. the level of film that this is

like she's like doing her best you know like everyone is like weirdly committed even though the movie uh lets them down at every turn so the two other teen guys come by while they're talking and they it's too many teens

Jasper and Kenny and uh Jasper is the nice one and Kenny is the kind of dickish one and these two team guys they come by like hey Jake where's your dad hide the stolen jewels at first I thought they were bullies they talk like Flash Thompson talking talks to Peter Parker.

But then turns out they're friends of his, kind of. It's a thin line when you deal with teenage boys. That's true. Or a podcast. Yeah, that's true. It's a constant. Why, whatever do you mean, Daniel? Whatever do you mean, Dan, you piece of shit?

That was too far. The nice friend, Jasper, he loves Lucy's mom's books. He's a big fan. He wants to be a detective someday. I thought this was foreshadowing for him to kind of solve the mystery of what happened with the Fabricier. No. Just a throwaway line.

Doesn't matter. Well, no, it's a way to get him in that bunny costume. I guess that's true, yeah. They ask if Lucy has a sister, and Jake's like, yeah, sure, I do. Jake's like, she does. And Lucy goes, oh, my sister's napping. And they go, well, we'll wait here and help your mom with her book while we wait for your sister to wake up so we can.

These guys are hard up. They are so, they are such horn dogs for a girl they have not met and they've just been told exists. Yeah. I mean, sometimes the fantasy is more exciting than reality, you know? I guess that's true. I was very nervous when he's like, yeah, we'll stay behind with your mom and help her out with her project. I was like, uh-oh. I've seen a lot of videos like this that I wouldn't call family fun. Well, that's what I wanted to get to. Because, like, I haven't seen any of David de Kato's, like, looter projects.

It seems like he has a sideline in softish core film. I mean, I don't even know how sexual they are, but they seem like they're. like softcore sexy movies and there's something about this scene that like is setting up a weird like love triangle and then yes the later scene where like the the

writer employs these older teen boys to like hey like come with me and act out these scenarios that this movie always feels like it might take a hard left turn into the wrong drive and go down into a sex picture but it never does.

No, there's a lot of the way that he makes this that feels like he's making like a family film in the style of pornography. Exactly. In the style of like low budget but not amateur pornography. And it's very weird. It's just a very weird feel that I would not.

He's got three movies coming out this year. He works. Three movies already out this year. He works a lot. The wrong marriage and the wrong obsession. Oh, I forgot. I forgot he directed sorority babes in the slime ball ballerama. I'm looking up his credits right now.

Classic, at least in the annals of titles. Classic in the annals of movies I see at the video store and never actually have watched. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're at the video store, you know, once a week, when you're picking up tapes to watch with your family. Usually when I'm getting relevance to again. USA up all night.

And he directed Test Tube teens from the year 2000. Oh, okay, sure. Man's got away with titles, huh? Yeah, sure. He's in a bunch of puppet master movies. He's made a whole bunch of these movies in The Wrong series, like the wrong mommy, the wrong boy next door, the wrong stepmother, bikini goddesses.

The wrong teacher. Man, this dude's crushing it. Petticoat Planet. I wish, you know, I wish I had it all fucking figured out like this. He did a lot of puppet master three, Stuart. He did a lot of puppet masters. He did retro puppet masters starting Greg Sistero. He did a series called The Brotherhood, which is, I guess,

horror movies. I guess, homoerotic horror movies. I've never seen these, but there's somehow six of them. So I mean hey we can change that Crepezoids You know Shocktober's right around the corner I was yeah that's true

That's a good point Apparently I guess he did a movie call Oh I remember when that came out Never mind never mind Yeah he does But lately he's gone into Well you know what He proliferates

He's got a very diverse portfolio Of works You know Clearly he puts a lot of care Into each of them So but you got to I mean this is the thing also that the

I think it's very easy to valorize the kind of crap makers of the olden days of movies but it's harder to recognize the and celebrate the crap makers

of today you know you can spend all your time talking about your Herschel Gordon Lewis's and Ray Dennis Steckler's and stuff like that but you know

there's still people work in those those same well-worn fields of garbage that is just there to fill screens you know and more power to them

they're keeping keeping America alive in some way or another anyway so Jen asked the two boys they can help with a book they say sure Lucy and Jake

take Russ for a walk and they talk about Marion and Russ is so gross out by the thought of human kissing that he just poops to break the moment I thought he just farted but maybe he pooped

oh they make it I mean they talk about it like he poops but you know the boys are helping Jennifer act out her story and that's when Jake's mom comes fine with the costumes they're wearing the costumes

And Jake's mom comes by with her friend, Mr. Courtney Scammon, who instantly is so clear, so clear he committed the crime that Jake's dad went to jail for. He's so suspicious. There's no mystery whatsoever. It's so obvious. His name is Scammon. That's such a Charles Dickensy name.

Well, what would I call this criminal character? I'm about larceny do bad. Jake's mom wants to, totally oblivious to this, wants to set up Mr. Scammon and Jennifer as an item. Who knows? It'll happen. Jake's mom learns the story of Jake's dad, Marcus. He was accused of stealing a golden Fabergete egg.

She has since become an expert on Fabergeet eggs. I love it. And has a little, she has a whole book of them and gives a little explainer about what Faberjay eggs were, where they come from through history. And Jennifer goes, hmm, if I was missing barboles, I would guess that an egg like that would be hard to transport. It must be hidden nearby. And we see that Russ has started digging a hole.

What's in that hole, Dan? Now, why was it hard to transport? What's in that hole, Dan? Well, the egg. The egg is, of course. As we'll later learn, it fits neatly in a bag and can be carried around by a puppy. Yeah, and it's also... About a third or a quarter of a size of an actual Fabergerger's egg as well.

Wow. Dan, we have our own Faberger expert in here. Faberget egg expert. Now, Dan, tell us more about the fascinating world of Faberge. They're a bunch of eggs. There's only so many of them They're fancy And they're expensive

Okay They're expensive because there's only a few of them And they're fancy And now when you go to East strike hunting Do you hunt for those eggs? No Well at Dan's house he does Because he's super rich

But we um Are they expensive Because they don't really do anything But like maybe What do you want them to do Like a Yoshi come out of them Or what? That seems like for that price

That's the minimum you should expect Don't over promise buddy Or the or like if I'm driving my car and I fall asleep at the wheel, the Fabergete egg will take the wheel and get me home safe. Okay. Well, now we're living in a fantasy world, Stuart. How much of my

It's a Fabergee fantasy of designated egg drivers? Thank you. So, anyway, moving forward, Russ has started digging up the egg. Okay, great.

Lucy shows up as clumsy Marion for Jasper and Kenny. She says, oh, no, she's allergic to plastic eggs. She's making up lie after lie. She's trying so hard to make them uninterested. And you know what? It only makes them more more. It only makes them more attracted, yeah. She's just spinning a tangled web, you know?

Yeah, and she's catching these flies in her tangled web, for sure. And Russ thinks that Lucy is bonkers. But Lucy is excited. She thinks she's convinced the boys that Marion is the bonkers one. But Russ, he says, the boys haven't given up. and he's going to go finish digging that hole because he does not Russ knows better than Lucy does

teen boys they'll take a girl who's a little a little loony if they think it'll lead them to some sometimes they'll prefer it yeah sometimes if it thinks that a little lead them to some lip on lip kissing action you know now Dan is that the grossest way

I could have described kissing it really was why is that so much grosser yeah yeah this is a really weird pitch for Elliot to be a staff writer for Tiger Beat but I guess 40 ways to improve your lip-on-lip kissing. It's something to call it the most intimate type of kiss.

One person's whole of a mouth goes on another person's whole of a mouth. The fleshy protuberances that surround the hole, touch each other, and caress each other in different lascivious ways. Dan, how do you think? You're the editor of Tiger Pete. Are you accepting this article? I'm sending you to the FBI. But inside that hole lives a fleshy tentacle that also wants to get in on the action. It's called The Tongue, and it's very wet.

So, Dan, do you like this article? No. Dan, you describe it the tongue as humans love muscle. Nope. Some call it the strongest muscle in the human body, and it certainly wants to wrestle with opponents in other mouths. That's right. The tongue wants nothing more to challenge and compete.

A Siamese fighting fish. You have to keep it in a separate mouth or else it will try to attack until death the tongue in another mouth. This I like better because it's left sexuality far behind and gone to the world. Oh, that's not true, Dan. There's a certain sexual aspect to it. Yeah.

This is effectively an aon flux episode. Yes, one specific one. This erotic competition between tongues can have only one winner. That's right, because the tongue that wins eats the tongue that loses. It's still happening. So, Jennifer doesn't have any ideas for the book. Russ feels Mr. Scammon is hiding something. And Russ says to the audience, keep watching and you'll find out another threat.

No. The next day, the East Drag Hunt, it's deserted for some reason. Why is that? Then we see a brief flashback. Mr. Scammon put out a road-closed sign to stop people from going to the Easter hunt because he is going to look for his Easter egg with a suspiciously, fakely weathered antique map.

And it's like, you buried this egg. You stole it and buried it. Why was your map burned and weathered to look like it's a pirate map? Yeah, why do you steal this from a fucking escape room? I also love this shot of him putting the road-closed thing up because you can fully see that the sign says roadclosed when he's putting it up over there,

but the camera feels the need then to drift down omnis leaf, just show that it says road clothes. I also like that it's in shot in black and white. Yeah, because it's the past. A little touch. Yeah, that's a little touch. So the Easter egg hunt is deserted. I guess they were the only ones whose houses were located after that point in the road.

And he does, Jake's mom is like, why don't we hunt eggs together? And he's like, only men hunt, men hunt on their own. It's an alpha male thing. He's such, he's in Lucy territory here with his strange lies that he's telling. The boys show up for Lucy and Marion, and Lucy starts getting tripped up by her lies and the boys are Jasper and Kenny are like okay we'll go find Marion as Lucy goes out with Jake and Russ

we get a lot of nature photography because again somebody just needs to explain to Lucy that teenage boys are dumb and they can be easily tricked yes oh very much so yeah that's why they're falling into tiger pits all the time or responding to duck calls yeah

yeah yeah yeah getting trapped by the bad guy in the black phone yeah exactly teen boys are falling for black phone all the time. Oh, man. I mean, there's Ethan Hogg.

He's pretty cool. That's one of the, that's one of the largest sources, where the biggest sources of teen boy trickery in America today is black phone. That's what, when you're in high school, they're like, they separate the girls into one gym and the boys into the other gym,

and the boys learn about black phone and how to avoid it and all the dangers. Yeah, they don't pay attention. They're too busy, like, playing with fidget spinners and whatnot. Yeah, exactly. They're all roblocksing and minecrafting and things like that, Fortniteing.

So, Mr. Scan... You've talked to your sons about this, right? More than I'd like to. About the dangers of Blackphone, yeah. Well, I haven't yet sat him down and had the talk, by which I mean the talk about Blackphone. I'm worried they're not ready for it yet. Now, what about Blackstone? Have you talked about the dangers of Harry Blackstone?

I have talked about the dangers of Harry Blackstone many times. You might spirit you away with his magic powers. Exactly. I tell them about that. I say, don't let him... You guys mentioned Blackstone. You, of course, are talking about the element Knocklith, which is what the Blackstone fortresses have been created by... that Abadden's forces he used

to attack the Imperium of Man. Of course, that's also a talk I had with my children, yes. Very important, yeah. I talked to them about that, and I talked about the birds and the bees, by which I mean sort of birds and bees do they have in Warhammer that we can say? Oh, there's birds,

and then there wouldn't be bees, right? You think that... This was a rich frame. You'd think the grim, dark world of the future would have bees in it. Come on. Although maybe honey is too sweet for that horrible universe so Mr. Scammon he has

as we said a pirate map of some kind and he's looking for his Faberjeet egg Lucy and Jake hunt for eggs now this is the next what I would call filler segment where over six minutes of screen time we watch various characters looking around for eggs as their dialogue is mostly

drowned out by the music Dan how much were you just ejaculating throughout this whole thing about how long it went the beauty of this was also that the eggs are just sort of on the ground in a line. They aren't hidden anywhere. It's just like they're like,

there's one, there's another one. Hunting means walking around a 10 foot by 10 foot square patch filled with eggs. I mean, you would think Blackphone had put these eggs out to trap these teenagers. Exactly. So there's a lot of this. Lucy and Jake, they're about to kiss when Russ runs off and Jake follows him. And Lucy overhears Kenny insulting Jasper because Jasper brought some flowers for Marion. And Kenny is like, you idiot.

Girls don't like flowers, you puss. Like, he's just mean. And so she puts on her glasses and pretends to be Marion to make Jasper feel better and even kisses him on the cheek. Uh-oh. Jake walks up. Not until I kind of condense some things. Jake then finds Russ. He doesn't notice that Russ dug up the gold egg.

And he goes, okay, Russ, you can have the egg and stuffs it in his collar. But he walks up as Lucy pretend to be Marion has just kissed Jasper on the cheek. And she has to reveal she lied to everybody. There's no Marion. It was all a hoax. Not since the movie Sisters. Has there been a bigger twist involving sisters in a movie? And so Jake is a real 12th night situation, right?

It's a very 12th night situation. Oh, boy. And they have both been malvolioed on this one, and that does not feel good. That's my greatest fear is to be malvolio. To be forced to wear yellow stockings and then stuffed in a box. That's the kind of thing that black phone might do to you. Yeah.

So Jake and Jasper. Black phone. Nefarious black phone sounds like a villain from like a kid's cartoon or something or Slylock Fox or something. Yeah. So Jake and Jasper

they're both upset. Meanwhile, scammin finds where he bare the egg. Uh-oh, it's not there anymore. He somehow knows a dog did it. He doesn't know which dog, but he knows only a dog could accomplish this. I buried this under a not very deep,

in a not very deep hole under a little bit of sand right next to a parking line. Yeah, it doesn't seem like the best hiding spot or hiding job, yeah. It seems like a child with a pale and a little plastic shovel. Could have found this egg pretty easily. The diamonds are, Lucy is so upset that Jennifer and Lucy are just going to leave and go home. And Scama decides he's going to follow because he's got to get his egg back. Oh, they took me egg.

Oh, I need me egg back. Well, this is also the near around here is where, like, I think Lisa London is like, we gotta go home because I have larynge I'm losing my voice Throughout the movie Lisa London's voice has been so faint Even when she's delivering her Faberjay Egg history monologue And I was like I guess it's just her voice And then at that way she's like I think I have laryngitis

The next scene her voice is fine So clearly these shot thee isn't out of order But this movie usually is But it's so funny that it's like That they felt like after so long They finally had to mention the laryngitis I guess they thought they could get away With not mentioning it for that long

Yeah but it had gotten so bad that they're like okay we have to actually say something about it in the movie and clearly they only had you know like three filming days or whatever so they couldn't wait for her to have her voice back again they're just like power through it baby. they couldn't shut down production as they waited for her health return um at home jennifer tries to cheer lucy up by putting russ in bunny ears but it does not work russ drops the egg jake come and his mom come to the house with mr scamman and jake wants to apologize and make up with Lucy and

Mr. Scammon's like, hey, let me meet that dog of yours. Yeah. Mr. Scamond's like, you have a dog? I'd love to meet him. So he's snooping around the house looking for the dog. I will say, this scene between Jake and Lucy where Lucy is upset and Jake comes up to talk to her, there's a moment in it where she's like, I don't want anyone to look at me right now.

And he looks away and they start to make up. And she's like, you can look at me now. And he's like, in the way, it makes this conversation easier that he's not looking at her, but has his back to her. And I was like, in this very artificial movie that does not feel like real life, this felt to me like a generally kind of like sweet moment. Like a sweet lady's like it actually makes it easier to talk to have this conversation. I thought I was like, this is a sweet kind of real feeling moment that I did not expect in the middle of a movie narrated by a dog about the worst egg thief in the history of egg thievery, you know.

Yeah, it briefly takes you out of the movie similar to how moments later we see Mr. Scam and chasing a corgi around the upper floors of the house. and there's a moment where there's very clearly another man reflected in like the window or the... It's like an upper fireplace with like a glass thing in front of it. And I'm like, is this the camera operator? Or is this just like a strange man making weird motions? Yeah, or a three men and a baby style ghost, you know? That was the third option.

Yeah. So they, but this, he's chasing after the dog. This happens about finally the egg falls from the stair. from the staircase into Jake's mom's hands. And she's like, this is the egg. The egg they said my husband stole. Mr. Scammon has them at gunpoint. Did not expect to see a gun in this movie.

That was a big shot. It's a tiny little gun. But it is still, I did not like seeing a gun in this movie. But luckily, Russ bites him. Jennifer picks up the gun. And Russ has the best dialogue in the movie at the very end. He goes, I'm the Easter Bunny, punk. Deal with it.

Hippity hoppity. Peace out. And that's the end of the movie. Yeah. It's a real, it's a catchphrase, of course, now that we've seen blazoned on bumper stickers and t-shirts across America. Yeah, deal with it. Hippity hoppity, peace out. Yep.

On the Easter bunny punk. Yeah. I mean, that's just made for the back of a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Not since I'm Rick James, bitch, has a catchphrase hit so hard, yeah. Yeah, I feel bad because when Russ the dog is in the street, people just yell that at him. And he's like, I'm known for other things.

I'm not just an Easter bunny puppy, you know. Hey, say hippity hoppity, peace out. Hippity hoppy. Wait, let me get my phone out. Let me get my phone out. So, yeah, that's the tale of the Easter bunny puppy. Not the Easter bunny puppy, Dan. No, not the actual.

And Easter bunny puppy. Yeah, and not the actual tale of the puppy. Very good point. It's the story. I'm glad you differentiated about that. Yeah, it would have confused our listeners. But now we have to pass judgment in a segment we call final judgments about whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of liked. Okay, so what do we do in this segment, Dan?

I think I just explained it. I don't know why. I have to go over it again. I don't know. Caught in a loop like that egg dying scene. But I'm going to say, having seen it twice now, probably not like. Like, don't watch this on your own. Don't be, don't be a fool.

Don't do that. Like, Elliot was. Like, this is work for me, Dan. It wasn't like I was like, oh, let me pop in a movie. What would I enjoy on my own? An English, an Easter bunny puppy. They'll say English money puppy, which would be an interesting switch on it, yeah.

But if you're a bad movie sicko and you've got friends, like, for me, this is a classic good, bad movie. This recaptured the joy I felt watching Talking Cat. And I had a great time. What do you think? Yeah, you know, this is, sorry, it just took me a second

because I was really going through the whole of my experience with an Easter bunny puppy. This is exactly the kind of movie that I do this podcast to watch. You know, a movie where most of the runtime is either dying Easter eggs, painting Easter eggs, driving to a place, and then looking for Easter eggs. It's great. Two thumbs up.

This is a good, bad movie, I would say. I would also call the Good Ben movie again. Not really, even watching on my own, it was still kind of funny to watch it. It was just I couldn't, I couldn't experience the dying egg sequence in real time. I had to get a little bit of assistance on that one. But it is, there's something about these movies

that is so weird in terms of the tone and the feel of them. And they're so, but at the same time, there was nothing in it that I found upsetting, you know? It feels like you're watching a family movie from another dimension, but it's not like, nothing happens in it. at least for me where I was like

oh now I feel gross now I feel bad watching this and you know what that's hard to find sometimes so don't watch it with your kids they will be very bored I mean I'm sure they're actually a kid would probably like it I don't know it's something that moves and has sound coming out of it in colors but yeah but I think if you're getting together

a dog talks Elliot come on they'll watch anything as long as it's on like an iPad or something right they will if you if you're get together you're a decadent bad movie crew and pop in an east Mr. Bunny Puppy, and I think you're going to have a good time wasting time.

Hi, I'm Alexis. I'm one of the co-host of Comfort Creatures, and I'm here with River Jew, who has been a member since 2019. Thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of our show. Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long. Yeah, right? As the MaxFund member of the month, can I ask what sort of made you decide to be a member? I used to work in a library, so I just used to listen to a podcast while I re-shelved all the books. It really helped with doing it at work.

So I just wanted to give back to what's been helping me. Yeah. It feels good to be part of that. As the member of the month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the maximum fun store, a member of the month bumper sticker. And you also, if you're ever in Los Angeles, you can get a parking spot at the MaxFunn HQ, you, just for you? Yay.

I'm actually going to LA in September, so I'll get to use the parking. Yes. Thank you so much, River, for doing this. This has been an absolute blast. Yeah, of course. I've been so glad to be able to talk to you, too, and I'm so excited to be a member of the month. Yay! Become a MaxFund member now at Maximumfund.org slash join.

Hey, everybody. I'm Jeremy. I'm Oscar. I'm Dimitri. And we are the Eurovangelists. or a weekly podcast spreading the word of the Eurovision Song Contest the most important music competition in the world.

Maybe you already heard Glenn Weldon of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour talk up our coverage of this year's contest. But what do we talk about in the offseason? The rest of Eurovision, duh. There are nearly seven decades of pop music history to cover. Mm-hmm. We've got thousands of amazing songs, inspiring competitors, and so much drama to discuss.

And let me tell you, the drama is juicy. Plus, all the gorillas and bread-baking grandmas that make Eurovision so special. Check out your evangelists available everywhere you get podcast and you could be a Eurovangelist too. Ooh, I want to be one. You already are.

It's that easy. Oh, okay, cool. Let's talk about our sponsors. Of course, the Flop House could not exist without the listeners who have become members at maximum fun.org. They support us in the overwhelming part. But we also have a couple of

sponsors. This podcast that you're listening to right now is brought you in part by Squarespace. Whoa. Square space. Whoa. Square space. Yeah. Imagine a space and then imagine that space is square. I can't do it. Tell me more about it. What does it mean? I can't understand it. Well, it gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid online all in one place. I love offering services and I love getting paid. Yes. Mostly.

the second part. The services are kind of a route to the second part, but sure. I mean, if you don't like what you do, sure. You know what they say. If you don't like what you do, you work every single day of your life. They do say that. You can get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payments. Plus, you can streamline your workflow with a built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. And hey, you want your website to look good. Well, Squarespace also, pardon me, also offers a complete library. I'm getting excited. a complete library. You could not be more excited

about how complete that library is. Of professionally designed and award-winning website templates with options for every use and category. You got your intuitive drag-and-drop editing to make designing that website easy, beautiful styling options,

unrivaled visual design effects, no experience required. You don't have to be an HTML wizard to have a nice website. So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

We also have a jumbo-tron today, and you know what? It's kind of a jumbotron for us. This message is for The Peaches. I assume they're talking to us, and it's from Luke. And Luke says, hey, Peaches, I have nothing to shout out, but I felt like throwing you guys some beer money. So I give you the gift of 350 characters of nonsense to read. someone should start a polyphonic spree cover band and call it contrapuntal rampage tenacity lugubrious boeys buoy boys nish nashers

toy boat toy boat toy boat and that's the end bye what a sweet jumbotron thank you very much luke i can't believe luke got you to read his uh his what kidnappers note or whatever mr policeman i gave you all the clues toy boat toy boat toy boat uh thank you luke if anyone else wants to i mean this is an This opens up an interesting new area for Jumbotrons. Usually there are us to read a personal message to somebody or an advertising message. Go to what maximum fund.com slash jumbotron to buy one. But I guess this enters the realm of just paying us to say whatever, which, you know, we're not, we're not proud.

We'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it. How not proud are we? We're so not proud that we're actually very proud. What are we proud of? We are proud of the fact that we're appearing in Chicago on Sunday, November 16th, and our first show sold out so we have put a second show on the books so that's right we are live in chicago sunday november 16th if you missed your chance to go to our early show we will now have a

late show both shows will be about jim balushi movies so don't worry you'll get the full talk of baloche either way fished my wish yeah the early show is taking care of business the second show i believe is k9 right yeah another book another book another movie about a dog well movies are just books for your eyes so you know it's okay that's the thing yeah So the Flop House will be live in Chicago, Sunday, November 16th. The early show was sold out, but the late show, I think there's still some tickets available. Go to Flophousepodcast.com slash event slash the dash flop, dash, house, dash, live, dash, in, Chicago for tickets.

There's probably a better URL to go to. I do. If you go to the Flophousepodcast.com under the events page, I believe our very kind webmaster has put up an event. Yes. Just go to Flophousepodcast.com. The Flop House. Just go to Flophousepodcast.com and go to the events section. Let's make it more confusing.

Let's get something else for a lot. Elliot, earlier, you said movies or books for your eyes, but don't you use your eyes to read books? Not if you're using Braille or an audiobook. Okay. Columbo's got you there. Okay. Columbo has got you there. Technically correct.

Bugs Meaney again. Yep. So to actually go to Flophousepodcast.com slash events. That's where you should go. You get tickets for a Chicago show Sunday, November 16th. Let's say you're not in Chicago. let's say the late show manages to sell out too how are you going to see your flop house boys putting on a show with your eyes the things who use for movies and not for books well you're in luck because flop TV is on the air that's right flop TV season three flopsterpiece theater is now appearing the first saturday of every month saturday through february go to theflophouse dot simpletix.com for tickets just this past uh saturday as we're recording this we did our pluto nash episode it was super fun we had a great time the next one is october fourth saturday october fourth we're going to be talking about jack frost starring michael keaton as a bad dad snowman dad

and it's going to be the first saturday of each month after that go to the flophouse dot simpletix dot com if you can't watch the show live these shows are the first saturday of the month 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m. Pacific if you cannot watch it live in another country maybe you got plans that night maybe you i don't know you just don't want to watch things live because you're worried that dan's going to lose his shit and you're You don't want to see it happen live in front of you. It's fine. Because your ticket gets you access to the recording of the show, and those recordings are going to stay up online through the end of the season. So you can watch them all at your leisure as many times as you want through the end of February 2026.

That Pluto Nash show, I had so much fun. I'm really looking forward to this Jack Frost show. I have to make a video for it. And I've got an idea that I think is dumb. So I think you guys will enjoy it. Oh, weird. Okay, because normally our videos are really serious. Exactly, yeah.

So that's theflophouse. com. Join us live on your computer, the first Saturday of each month through February. Let's answer a few listener letters, letters from listeners. This first one is from Andy last name withheld. Andy Dufrein, just broke out of jail. Yeah.

How do you get poop stains out of a prison? uniform. If anyone should know, it should be you, Andy. Yeah. No, Andy writes. Floppers, I crawled through a mile of the worst shit and crap.

I forgot what he says that you can imagine. I can't remember what more than Freeman says, but. Just garbage. A lot of, oh, it was the worst. Oh, man. How do I get this taste out of my mouth? Oh, his mouth. You got to believe he got some in his mouth.

Anyway. I don't got to believe that, Dan. Andy writes. That's what the I want to believe poster means. Why is there a UFO on it then? Oh, I just want to believe that he got poop in his mouth. So nothing about aliens? No.

So why is there a picture of a UFO? That was the cheapest picture I could get when I was making the poster. It's a stock photo. Yeah, that's to get him in the door. That's a lost leader. You come in for the aliens. You stay for the poop in Tim Robbins' mouth. And how, does this work?

Not yet. but I'm pretty sure it will, fingers crossed. Bitch, if I ever get to ask him a question at something, I'm going to ask him if he ever, if he like the idea of poop getting an Andy Dufrain's mouth informed his performance. Yeah, this is Tim Robbins, you're asking? Or David McCona as Fox Mulder?

Either at this point. They're so linked in America's imagination. That's true. That's true. That's when TNT would play Shawshank Redemption and then in the middle they'd just cut in an episode of the X-Files and then go back to the movie, yeah. Innovative Okay, sorry

Scully, there's been a report of a Shawshank being redeemed But that's impossible, Mulder I don't even know what that is Andy Rice See, when Mulder was a kid His little kid's sister got taken to Shawshank

Yeah, and she had to go through a pipe Yes, he's always been obsessed by it, yeah Andy writes, hey floppers In the past two weeks The cigarette smoking man is like there's more in that shit pipe than you can even imagine. No, don't smoke around there. There's so much methane.

Explosion, yeah. In the past two weeks, you've commented on two areas right in my professional wheelhouse as a federal criminal defense lawyer, not an assassin. Shawshank. First, the maximum penalty for an attempted assassination of federal officials under the federal statute is life in prison. There is no death penalty for that crime unless the crime is completed. Ah, okay, thank you. I'm glad I was right about that. Second, FaceTime, video, and audio are believed to be harder for the government to monitor, so some folks use it for that reason.

It's probably true about the content of the communication, but not the metadata, who, when, where, how long, etc. I think questions like this are way more interesting than people who ask the generic and boring, how can you defend guilty people I'm inevitably asked all the time. What question about your work do you hate, and what do you wish people would ask you instead? Andy, last name withheld. I got an easy one.

What kind of drinks do you like to make? What kind do you? The easiest fastest one. Like a bottle of Miller Highland. Yeah, whatever's on tap. Yeah. Or just the bottle, just hand it to them. And what would you rather answer?

What would I rather answer? Yeah, that's part of the question. What would you prefer? What kind of question do you prefer? Oh, who do I prefer? Is like, Stuart, how do you keep your hair looking so amazing? Okay, well, is that about your... It's more of a compliment that question, yeah.

Yeah. You know, podcasting doesn't inspire a lot of questions, so I'll talk about writing. I feel like it does. I mean, the main question I get about podcasting that's annoying is people go, wait, you make money off of that? Yeah. I get that from my wife. Do those people pay you for this? Yeah.

So about writing? Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. You must love this Trump guy. He gives you lots of material. Yeah, I did hate that back in the day. That was, uh, no, but we did not love that Trump guy because he gave us a lot of material.

We did not indeed. Like, I'm happy to talk to people about how I got into the business, but it's, you know, As a question, I don't know how useful I think it is. And so I'm not wild about, like, trying to answer it because it is so idiosyncratic as a field that I'm like, well, I can tell you how. And I will. But I don't know, like the answer, like the real answer that you should care about is like network and practice. You know, I would like to think I would be good at happier to answer sort of specific questions about writing. like how is a joke constructed

but I think about it and I'm like I don't know if I could speak well to that so much of it is just like impulse and practice and like I don't I'm looking forward to Elliot's book joke farming if you want to know about how a joke is constructed get ready because there's a book coming out in November

that'll tell you all about it it's called joke farming I guess the question I'd like to answer is would you like a job when can you start That would be a good one. I was going to say, Dan, the question I used to get was, how do I get, how do I start a writing career? How do I get a writing job? Now, I feel the question I get a lot is, so there aren't a lot of jobs out there, are they?

Are there? And I'm like, it's never good when I think the general public is aware of how hard it is to get a job in a particular entertainment field. But yeah, the question I'd want to answer is, hey, what's showing a Ray like? And I'd be like, he's a real nice guy. Yeah, he seemed nice. It's very nice. Okay. Very funny.

Very nice. class act solid very tall question very tall yeah very tall and answered over here at the flomp house yeah this uh letters from alison last name withheld who writes alson williams star of girls and peter pan and i abridged this because she was and jagan right yeah uh or or they were too nice to us so i i cut out some of the nice parts yeah you're right dan you're right dan we don't deserve it we need we need more punishment we've been bad boys well it feels a little self-serving to read it all in the air. I guess so.

First off, I'm a huge fan. I could gush for hours about this podcast getting me through hard times, making me laugh on long, super sweaty subway rides when I lived in NYC, cheering me up in L.A. traffic

where I now live, accompanying me on the Brooklyn Half Marathon, et cetera. In terms of real life encounters, I briefly met Elliot at the signing of Horse Meets Dog at Skylight Books and Los Feilays a while back. He was lovely and I was kind of awkward,

so that was fun. Oh, that's right. I'm sure you were great. In terms of subconscious encounters, I had a dream about you all recently in which we met. You put me on a text chain with the three of you, and then I didn't understand

any of the references or jokes any of you made on the chain. To be honest, that's how I often feel about the text chain the three of us are on. I guess this is the part where I ask a question.

The anxiety of that text chain dream is really putting the pressure on me to make this a good one. So, now that I've gushed, time for you to gush. What are your favorite things about each other? Oh. Allison Lasting withheld.

Didn't realize I was walking into a trap. It's a trap. Oh, boy. This is a Lady Raven concert? I think. Okay, let's see. Things that I like. I like, well, one thing that I like about performing with my two friends is that

Dan is very good at being the straight man and he is very good at taking the lumps that we give him for no reason at all. Dan's making face is like, what kind of compliment is this? This is a weird compliment, but I'll take it, I guess. No, I'm saying you're talented. And Elliot is very good at filling any space he is given when necessary. I'll get a little more personal.

I think that Stuart is a very patient, and if I inadvertently hurt his feelings, he will absorb it, and then tell me about it calmly at a later date. Oh, wow. You need to tell him my therapist. And Elliot is, for all the shit he gives me on air, is always very concerned about my well-being,

you know, during the time that I was post-divorce and single. He would, you know, have me over to have dinner with his family frequently, and it was very sweet. Yeah, that was the character. The real is the mean that's mean to you. That was the personia. Yeah, Dan has got an enormous heart. He's got an enormous heart,

and he's always ready to think the best of somebody after he's had a moment to think about it. But most of the time, he's trying to think the best of people. And Stuart is a stalwart rock that can be relied on and leaned on in tough times and good times, and you never have to worry that he's not going to have your back. Oh, thank you. And I'm just like performing with these guys.

They're really fun. You two of the guys were like, it makes me laugh more when we're talking than almost anything else that happens in life. So I appreciate it. Audrey has remarked on like even when we're offstage, like she's like, you guys, when you get together, you're just, you're doing it. You're doing the same thing. Yeah.

It's fun to, anyway. Daniel, we'll hear, when I listen to a podcast a lot like while I'm doing chores. And there are times when I listen to this podcast and I'm laughing. and Danielle, my wife will go, listen to yourself again, huh? And I'm like, but I laughed at something Dan said. Yeah. I was laughing at a Stewart thing. I mean, I often, like, miss a lot of what's going on because, you know, you're in it,

so you're not, like, fully engaged in the whole thing. And so I will laugh at stuff that you say later on. I'm like, oh, that was what was going on when I was trying to look something up or worrying about the next bit. Yeah, I was, like, trying to craft my next hilarious bit. Um, well, enough, uh, enough of this fuzzy sweetness, time to get down to business again. Brass packs, yeah. Yeah, now you have to get some bumpy sourness.

Yeah, I also like that Dan keeps us on track all the time. Mm-hmm. Bust some balls. Um, that's, uh, crack some skulls. Let's, uh, talk about movies that we've seen that we would recommend. Um, that's like, in addition to this one, if you're a bad movie sicko, or you can watch this one, too, but, uh, I mean, let's, let's have some movies that we recommend to non-bad

movies. For non-ironic reasons? Okay. Well, Criterion this month has a bunch of stuff that is like, wow, this is really geared towards me. They had Robert Altman retrospectively, like a lot of Robert Altman movies.

They have 70s paranoid thrillers. Well, and they have nunsploitation is one of the... But I'm not going to talk about some non-sploitation. I'm going to talk about an Altman movie that I had not seen before, which is Buffalo Bill and the Indians or Sydney Bull's history lesson. It is a lesser

talked about, lesser regarded Altman movie, but I liked it quite a bit and it is a movie that in some ways takes place in one location because it's all Buffalo Bill's Wild West show, but it is

so expansive this location and there's so much of Altman's like we're going to get a snatch of character here and a character's going to cross the screen there and we're going to follow things and you know the way he builds a thing slowly sort of piece by piece and it is a movie about the way that the legend of the wild west was uh you know constructed by white people and it is a movie about how buffalo bill played by paul newman sort of is quietly driven insane by the dignity of Sitting Bull

who refuses to engage with the myth-making that Buffalo Bill would prefer. And I enjoyed it quite a bit. It's, you know, maybe, sure, go see like some of the bigger Altman's first, but once you're in that pool, check this one out as well. How's the sound on this one?

Overlapping. Yay. Ooh. Okay, so I'm going to recommend a movie that's kind of similar to an Easter bunny puppy. This is a movie about somebody desperately trying to get close to someone else in a desire to kind of either just enjoy being in their orbit or experience the world through their eyes. Dan and I went and saw a lurker this week, which is initially kind of going in, I thought it was going to be more of a thriller. and it ends up being a little bit more of a black comedy or like a character study.

Would you agree with that, Dan? I would agree with that. It's not that there aren't like, you know, like kind of creepy and weird moments, but I feel like it's best play, like the whole thing plays best when it is just kind of an awkward comedy. And it is about a young man who kind of sneaks his way into an emerging pop stars entourage.

and he is trying desperately doing everything he can to appear like he's not being desperate to be part of this guy's life. And it's one of the things that I found kind of fascinating about it is how even the, like, while they manage to capture the feel of excitement when somebody that you idolize gives you a moment of their attention, that like rush that he feels, it also does a pretty good job of reminding you how immature and kind of gross the that kind of young man pop star lifestyle is of just a bunch of people hanging around in a rich house that is not taking care of very well and it's like a weird dorm and everything feels so surface level nobody seems to like each other that

much um and uh and then the uh when it gets to the third act i think the movie actually starts to cook the most um but uh yeah i thought it was a lot of fun it was kind of It was also that it was kind of different than what I was expecting. So check it out, Lurker. I'm going to recommend a movie from a couple years ago that is a French movie, but it's also a horror movie. What?

What's the song about a far? Stewart suddenly, he heard French, and he was like, no. And he heard horror, and he was like, what? So this is a movie called, this is a movie called the Vordelac from a couple years ago. Oh, yeah. This is a French vampire movie that there's a, it tells the story of a,

it's the like 18th century or so and there's a French kind of minor nobleman who's on a mission in an area somewhere between France and Turkey. I'm not, I don't remember exactly where it takes place. Somewhere in the,

in Eastern Europe, I think. And that would be Germany is between France and Turkey, right? Yeah, I guess maybe it's true. But there's a, it seems to, I don't know exactly where it is. I don't know exactly where it is. But he has lost his horse. He's wandering through the woods

and he ends up receiving help at the home of a family who are waiting for their elderly father, their elderly patriarch to return from fighting the Turks, and he returns, and it is very clear that he is a Vordalak, which is a kind of Slavic vampire. So I guess this must be some Slavic area. Anyway, the important thing is the nobleman,

he's attracted to the daughter of this Vordalak, and so he feels like he can't just run away else because he doesn't have a horse. And the family kind of one by one starts falling under the spell of this figure who is clearly a vampire, but is also the patriarch of their family, and so they can't outwardly kind of go against him the way that they probably should.

And it is a, it's not a super flashy movie, but I have to admit, when the new version of Nosferatu came out, I kind of wanted it to be like a little weirder and stranger and get into more kind of interesting waters. And I feel like the Bordelac provides some of that strangeness and weirdness that I was hoping for from that.

Yeah. And so if you want to see a vampire movie, that's not, it's not a lot of like, suddenly a vampire jumps out at you, ah, you know, but it's a, but it still has this kind of like creepy, strange atmosphere of it. And the way they handle the existence of the vampire itself, which I don't want to give away, is at first very, like, almost, almost silly, but becomes less and less so as the movie goes on and uh yeah and i thought i found it really um discomforting in the way that a good horror movie can be so i would recommend it that's lavor de lax spelled v o you r d a l a k and i keep calling it

vatalork and stuff like that and valedork i can't i had to look up how it's spelled you're a valedork oh man got you there's fair that reminds me i've got to get my my wife a valedoric's day card that's that's love between dorks yeah Okay. Well, three great recommendations. Before we get into sign-offs, I want to mention a couple of things. I think that maybe we forget to mention, which is that we have a newsletter. It's called Flopsecrets. If you go to Flophousepodcast.com, you can sign up to get that a couple of times a month and hear about what we're up to in sort of a more detailed way. You get a little extra funny writing maybe sometimes. It's a good way to keep up with us. We have an Instagram where a lot of stuff gets posted, clips from the show, TikToks that Stu makes. And also not officially affiliated with us, but made by a listener. There's a Discord channel.

If you go to Last Name Withheld.com, you can join that Discord. And they do a lot of watch-alongs. They watch the movies against my recommendations. They watch the movies that we cover beforehand. And also, I think during the Shocktober season, they'll be doing a lot of watch-alongs of horror stuff. So check that out as well. But I want to say thank you to our network, Maximum Fun. If you go to Maximum Fun.org, there's a lot of great other shows there.

You can become a member and support us. There's also our producer, Alex Smith, who I'd like to thank. He goes by the name Howl Doddy online, which he uses for music, Twitch stream. his own podcast. He's a creative genius in his own right. Check his stuff out. But that's it. For the Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy.

I've been Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalen. Bye. Small timber, guys. It sure is small and it sure is timber. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, timber. Oh, yeah, Dan watched some line dancing yesterday to the tune of Timber.

I don't know that I actually watched much line dancing. I was in the vicinity where line dancing was occurring. You showed up late so you didn't get to see me buggy and my little tushy off. I had to pick it up off the floor. Yeah, I've seen you without a tushy before. It's terrifying. It's horrifying. You had to go back to the hospital for a D-Tushectomy.

That's when they're reattached it. Yeah. Let's get into this thing. Yeah. Let's call the podcast. I don't know. This is all pretty funny stuff. Yeah.

Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.