The Flop House - Episode #169 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LIVE

Episode Date: January 10, 2015

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine "I Love Bad Movies") for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

The following show was taped live at the Bell House in Brooklyn on January 9th, 2015. Is this yours? This is... Yeah, that's mine. Okay. This is the exciting story. Oh, that's the song. 3. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. Is that Elliot Kaylen over there? I think it is, yeah.

Guys, you know a lot of people in your living room. What are all these people doing in my apartment? It's creeping me out a little bit. As the fire warden for your apartment, I have to bring you up on charges. All right, well. Of being too handsome. Thank you.

And heating up the place. Thank you so much. It's a felony level offense. Yes. I'm going to send you the chair. Like the sclery brother? I sent him to the chair. It's me, Judge What's His Name, from Ghostbusters 2. Secret of the Ooze.

There is Ooze in that movie. It's that, but it's... This is late night television and commercial. It's me, the Judge, from Ghostbusters 2. I sent a lot of people to the chair. So I know a thing or two about chairs. And what I know is this is the best chair money can buy. It's a weird thing to sound like night in commercial.

I mean, it's a special chair. Elliot, I'll ask this a few. Why is this night different from all other nights? I can't help but feel that somehow raises. But I will answer. It's explicitly raised. Yeah, thank you. On all other nights, the flop house is recorded in Dan's or sad apartment,

none to watch but an angry cat, and God. But now, and yet tonight... And live studio audience. Tonight, the flop house is recorded before a live studio audience At the Bell House In the whole Goannis Brooklyn go on is Brooklyn. I want to live in an abandoned warehouse But that might smelt it, but is it next is it next to a super fun site? How much cleaning up does the government have to do?

Now, there's a whole foods. OK, I guess that makes up for it. Well, I guess problem solved. You mark my words. Some day, that lettuce is going to grow arms and start choking people. Now that's a movie. It's called lettuce chuce Chokers.

That sounds like they're choking the lettuce. Yeah. Guys, we're going to have to redevelop this whole idea. So no, this is wonderful. There's a sell-out crowd. Here. I'm not saying you're all sell-outs. Although some of you probably are.

Probably. And we're here as part of the New York City podcast festival Festcast. Yeah. Sponsored by Sharman. Sharman. Well, what? The softest thing you can put on your butt.

One, I don't think that's true. Yeah, I'm shocked. If you took like a chinchilla, like a live chinchilla. If you strapped a live chinchilla, or butt that's softer and two, why are you throwing Sharaman all this free promotion? I don't know, maybe after the fact. I mean, genchilis are paying us to promote them. That's right, it's a backdoor promotion for genchilis.

Hey, backdoor promotion for shaman. Mm-hmm. Um, so, why are we here? He said it. I don't know. So anyway, we're here to do a regular episode of the podcast just with a lot of people listening. So what do we do on this podcast? Loving and laughing, living and learning.

Yeah. Thank you, Neil Simon, for teaching us to laugh about love. Yet again. So is this the point of the podcast where you start to regret having Elliot with a microphone in front of an audience or... No, no. Dear Lord, no. I know that if I fail, as I inevitably will, he'll jump in.

Just wind him up. With a bunch of nonsense. Nonsense is my specialty, which is also the name of my detective show. And I'll leave you walked in with gams that would not quit. And I said, teddy bear, bookcase, rug. I'm not having a stroke. Like my nonsense is incidences. A dame walked in who had gams from here to hay there.

She told me her story, and I told her another story. Not so much a story as a monologue that I made up as I went along She left partway through but I kept going My receptionist Thelma was the only one who ever understood me and Boy did she understand she added degree in understanding and boy could she stand she had games from here up to hey there How do you make money in this detective agency, by the way? I'm broke. OK.

You just have someone standing behind the door to hit people on the head with bottles when they come in and you rifle through their purse and take them money. Wow. Yeah, give away my secret, Dan, thanks. I thought this was an information commercial about how you can make money at home. Yeah, make money at home.

I mean, you have to take this home office. Yeah, you have a secretary in your home. Well, secretary dog. I mean, it's, you know, this is primarily a detective podcast. Yes. But secondarily, we call the flop clues. Yeah. It's a podcast on this podcast, Dan.

We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Okay. And we, um, to try and make this as normal as possible for us, It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast.

It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's a podcast.

It's a podcast. We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And we, to try and make this as normal as possible for us, it's not used to doing this in front of the the kids. Those kids, members of the foot clan. Because the one movie that we watched, Dan. We watched a little movie called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not the old one. Not the one with the...

Not the cartoon? No, well that wasn't the one with the cartoon. We got to be talking about the one from the 50s, Dan. I don't know. With Glenn Ford, his Donna Tello. We didn't watch the old one. We didn't watch the one with the Jim Henson Creature Shop. Jim Henson, yeah.

Jim Henson's Hension. I'd like to point out. I would like to point out how clearly I've spoken for the rest of the night so far. I'm impressed. Look, I've been waiting this long to make one of my misforestation, Romeo. No, this is the new one is this is the new one. This is the new one. This year and by this year, I mean last year because I forgot for a second is 2015.

Produced by Michael Bay, not directed by Michael Bay. But you wouldn't know that to watch it. Directed by a guy who what did he make? He made the Texas Chainsaw Masker a new beginning. He made darkness falls. There were some newer ones that LA movie about aliens. Yes. Battle LA. Yeah. Battle the year LA. He had a name that sounded like John Lieberman. His name was Jonathan Liebesman. Okay. Liebesman? Love man, I guess is what he means in German.

But it's started. So he's made a lot of movies about your saying. Yeah, it started a bunch of turtles and Megan Dole a bunch of turtles so you made it sound like you made it sound like it's Megan Fox with a shoebox full of turtles And she just shakes it at bad guys Is this do anything? And I kind of weird weird weird weird me out a creek doubt So this movie flashes us back to a time when the biggest danger that America was facing was ninjas. I remember the 1980s until Giuliani came in and cleaned

the city of ninjas. There was the broken ninjas theory is American. Broken ninjas theory. American ninjas. There was the three ninjas who were kicking back. They were actually kicking back against crime. Yeah. Most of the crime was probably ninjas right wait what the three ninjas movies were the other bad guys ninjas I'm watching they might have in mom I assume that bad guys inside kicks you got to fight ninjas with ninjas the bad guys And side kicks are karate guys with the not ninjas. Okay, they have honor still unlike ninjas who are solo

Susassus Who do not live a life of honor but instead creep through the shadows rather than facing their opponents in open warfare as Bushido demands I feel like you're attempting me to talk about Samurai's or something. Well or Sam you rise. Thank you That's what I wanted to talk about what this movie is about dad. Let's talk about it I mean the title kind of tells you most of what you need to know.

There's some ninja turtles in it. Are they natural? They're mutants. What age are they? Well, kind of like boyhood. They're teenagers. And here's the thing. This movie was surprisingly like boyhood. And that we saw a lot of these turtles growing up. So... And having an abusive drunk dad... That half of its boyhood. Spoiler alert. You can't be out already. Anyway.

Spoiler alert for the worst part of boyhood. Skip over. Spoiler alert the kid gets older. Anyway. So. I wish that movie had he had shot it for 12 years of the same cast, but he had shot a scene with the kid when he was young to go at the end, where the kid wakes up and goes,

I'm still a kid, it was all a beautiful dream. And then it says the end, question mark. And then it says boy will return in boyhood too. Boyhood's last forever. Not like manhood, I thought manhood would be the obvious. Manhood sounds kind of creepy. It's like a movie about a penis. Not what I say.

I spent 12 years shooting with the same penis every weekend. I've been doing this, I've been doing this porn movie for 12 years. Watching as a seropely. Watching as a penis ages from a beautiful specimen of a penis to a droopy set of penis attesticles. I mean, I was impressed by the technical skill that it took to shoot the same sex scene

over 12 years. So they aged naturally throughout the scene, but ultimately it was kind of a gimmick, you know? So this movie was called Teenage Mutant Turtles. There were no sex scenes in it. No. Although Michelangelo really hit on Megan Fox a lot, a lot, a lot. And at the end of the movie, she's kind of into it. She's, I

mean, she seems as into it as, let's say, Leah Thompson ever seems to be into how are the duck. Yeah. They take a bath together. Don't they? Yeah, they totally do it. Do they pull down that duck condom? No, she's like, well, he's asleep and then probably applies it. No, she's asleep at the time he's asleep, and then probably applies it. No, thanks for that. She's asleep at the time. She looks through his wall, she tries all the duck condom, and she goes,

oh, somebody get George Lucas on the phone. We gotta have her the duck question to ask. Or if you have a Ouija board Steve Gerber, I mean, they tell you, as you're saying, comics. Yeah, well, as you're saying in the movie, it seems to make more sense for her to have sex with Michelangelo the Turtle Man, then we'll aren't the... The human man who is also hitting on her.

Now let's explain what this movie is about. The movie opens with our favorite thing, a prologue that explains everything you're about to see in the movie. It seems the concept of Ninja Turtles who live in the sewer and have a rat for a dad was too complicated for us to figure out on our own. So there's a kind of, uh, Sin City animated section of, uh, Sukiaki Jango, uh, prologue, where they explain that basically. Yeah, I was like an icebox.com level of flash animation being like, uh, an edge of turtles. Like an early adult swim to level.

Yeah, exactly. Uh, but then we get into the meat of the story, the turtle meat that is. Have I turtle meat? Yes, exactly. But then we get into the meat of the story. The turtle meat that is. Have I eaten turtle meat? Yes, delicious. Anyway, so not mutants though. Gross, but I kind of, is that cannibalism? I don't know. Technically a different species.

He can't mate with the abralon. Anyway, continuing. April O'Neill, Megan Fox, George for Channel 6 News. And she is investigating the crime wave caused by the foot clan. Now, even though they're a shadowy clan of ninjas, everybody knows about it. Everyone's heard about that.

And they're always like, oh, there's a wave of ninjas. They're all like this foot clan is making too much crime. Yeah. Thanks to Blasio. Yeah. That's what it is. When that socialist guy in the office, suddenly the old ninjas came back. Yeah.

We got to start stopping and fris the old ninjas came back. Yeah. We got to start stopping and frisking these ninjas for nunchucks. I got to say, if a ninja was walking on the street, that's kind of, that's just cause for a policeman. Sure. He's probably got a problem. He's also a terrible ninja at that point.

Yeah, well, or he's so good. What he's probably doing is he's probably trying to direct the police's attention away from the ninjas creeping up on him. Yeah, yeah. Because let me tell you, a ninja who is confident enough to walk down the the police attention away from the ninjas creeping up on it. Yeah, yeah. Because let me tell you, Ninja is confident enough to walk down the street in broad daylight is the best ninja in the world. Exactly. If you can see one ninja, there's like a hundred more ninjas hitting. If you, as any, as any Frank Merlecona, will get taught us, yeah.

And all those ninjas are going to jump at you all at once while shooting arrows at you, with none of will, none of which will hit you. Of course not. But here's the thing with ninjas. We're all aware of this. I'm not the first one to point it out. We all know ninjas. The strength of ninjas decreases with each added ninja. One ninja will kill you. A hundred ninjas, pretty easy to fight. You can get away from me.

It's crazy. Partly because they all wait their turn while they each one fights you. But anyway, so the foot have, they commit a lot of crime down to the docks. That's where crime happens. And also where, unfortunately, the city's shipping has been falling since the 1950s.

Once a vital part of the metropolitan economy, shipping and transit, manufacturing in general, a longer part of New York. This is really like, this is the wire. This is the portrait of how institutions have failed this year. I was watching season two of the wire. I was like, where are the ninjas and the turtles? Whoop.

Enough of this corrupt union. Yeah. Get some ninja turtles in here. Get Amy Ryan to befriend four turtles. Yeah. What if Amy Ryan had been April O'Neill? I would have loved this movie. That was the most interesting thing I thought. so we're about one minute into the movie.

Anyway, April and Neil is obsessed with these crimes. She's trying to investigate them, but she's having trouble because she's like the goofy light story reporter at Channel six news. The only story we see her professionally cover involves some sort of union square area trampoline contest. Yeah, a lot of trampoline. It might be Madison Square. It might be Madison Square.

The whole movie was shot in Quebec. So it doesn't really matter. She just jumps on a trampoline contest. Yeah, a lot of trampoline. It might be Madison Square. It might be isn't Madison Square. The whole movie was shot in Quebec, so it doesn't really matter. She just jumps on a trampoline a lot and I guess if your reporter was Megan Fox, you probably would send her out to cover the jumping on a trampoline story. I mean, yeah, I guess, yeah, she's on the man show beat, I guess. Yeah, that's yeah. And she, her cameraman is Will Arnett as and I did not realize this until the last minute of the movie fanwick the camera man from the nitch journals cartoon so uh... it makes me wonder where's our mother i don't know anything about the nitch

extra stockman mentioned to the credits wears he and is a single matter or flyman there are no other heads or be bops not a single mom wrong was that an interturtle character? Probably yeah. There were no battle toads, no were there any adolescent black belt, radio active hamster? What about cowboys, no gargameses? No cowboys of Mumaesa or any other Mesa, and biker mice, neither from Mars nor Terran. There were a lot of rip offs the nature at all. No, sure. Take it and take an animal, make them do human stuff, give them a thing.

So, as you haven't talked about the street sharks. Oh, that's true. The ones with the street sharks. Yeah. Thank you. Is that all you had to say about them? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, no, yeah, pedal critters. No, no, no, no, and no. What about the wuzzle fish? The wuzzles? Can you have sex with the wuzzle? Well, the wuzzle is two species put together. They're already breaking the laws of mating and New York. So that's, anyway, April is obsessed with this ninja crime

story. She's trying to cover it in one night while wandering the Brooklyn probably go on this area. She sees a bunch of ninjas stealing something from a shipping container and an unseen vigilante starts throwing shipping containers around and just hurling a bunch of ninjas stealing something from a shipping container and an unseen vigilante starts throwing shipping containers around and just hurling them at these ninjas who who haltail out of that area. And like any good reporter she uses her shitty phone to try and get the footage. It's take a blurry picture. Yeah. Take a blurry picture

of someone running away and someone or Someone or something damn. Yeah. Cause it's a turtle man. Man. Anyway, she then goes to nobody believes her that the footclan are being attacked by vigilante. Specifically, whoopi Goldberg doesn't believe it. Whooplays are boss. And the whole movie is like,

She's not nobody, Elliot. She used to be a big star. Sorry. She played God in a little bit of heaven. She was Guy Nan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. The whole time I kept being like, dude, you were partnered up as cops with a talking dinosaur. If anyone's gonna believe this Ninja Turtle story, it is you, whoopsie Goldberg. She put that all behind her, Ellie. I was about to say, uh, whoopie Goldman. I thought, what if whoopie Goldman and William Goldman were married? And he was like, tonight, for movie night, why don't we watch Butch Cassie? And she's like, why don't we watch Fletch? And they just would have their own movies, they wanted to show the other all the time.

We'll be Goldberg as an in Fletch. Sure, she is, in my version of it. Anyway, I was thinking of, I was thinking of Jumping Jack Fletch. Okay. Or Jump Jack Fletch, the crossover. In which, we'll be go bring a Chevy Chaser and a jumping jack's competition. Only one can win and the other will die.

So anyway, Megan Fox is also her dad who was a scientist who worked at a company called TGRI with fellow scientist Eric Sachs, played of course by... William Fickner? The man who screams, I'm the villain of the movie. Not since Max Fonside, I appeared in the opening of my artier port, has it been so obvious who the villain is? Because when you cast a man whose face looks like a lizard man,

great actor, face like a lizard. Elevates everything he's in. He adds olives to it. We're just mostly. He adds olives to it. Villains. Yeah. He's big on the Mediterranean, you die. So anyway, it's clear he's the villain.

But anyway, it shredder, someone we haven't seen, we just see Meshado at this point, in order to draw out the vigilant, mysterious vigilantes. At this point, just a bald ninja man, right? Who is very violent. Who's called the shredder for some reason? That's the thing. He doesn't have any blades yet. But they call him the shredder, at this point just a bald ninja man. Yeah, right? Who is very... Who's called the shredder for some reason? That's the thing.

He doesn't have any blades yet. But they call him the shredder, and I have to assume it's because of his abs. No, sir. He has like a workout routine called the shredder. Like, are you mad with your revs? You want a six pack? An eight pack? Use the shredder workout.

Where is he from? I'm really like Venice Beach. Oh, okay And the movie is from Japan, but he's from that part of Japan where he sometimes speaks Japanese and sometimes English and At one point he says tonight I died on turtle soup, but he says it turtle a soup Do not tell me that the Japanese words for turtle soup are turtle soup with the Japanese accent. Yeah, they don't have a word for soup in their language. That is Japan not have a native word for soup. If it was like videotape, okay, maybe. Turtles and soup, they have those.

Their rivers are infested with turtle spirits, the holes of liquid on their head, and if they bow, the liquid comes out and you can escape. Capas, thank you. You know, like the Fratz, capas. Anyway, so Shredder tries to draw out the Ninja Turtles by shaking hostage, a bunch of people at Subway Station. The turtle, Megan Fox is there because why not? It's a movie.

The turtles show up, save the day, but then run away. Megan Fox chases them to a rooftop, takes a picture of them. Uh-oh. They try to intimidate her. Once again, she is left with, they delete the picture. She's left with no evidence, but we had a quick glance at the personalities of our four heroes. Stuart, what are their names?

What are they like? Well, there's Michelangelo. He's a party, dude. There's Raphael. He's cool, but rude. Sure. There's Donatello. He does machines. And I think there's another boring one. I don't remember. You set up a bitch. You got James. I'm a bitch. McCoy, the turtle. The other fucker. Yeah, like blue turtle. I think

I called him Borough. Borough, the lame guy. Anyway, Leonardo, he's the leader of the group. Yeah. So this is when we realize that they're not just awesome superheroes, they're also teenagers with cool personalities. And they act like teenagers. And I will say one thing. And this is a scene where the camera just starts spinning all over the place.

It is like they just taped that camera to a room bow or a quadcopter. I got a lazy seizing line. There, you know. Just spin it around. They just strapped that thing to a cat bow or a quadcopter. I got a lazy season there. You know, just spin it around. They just strapped that thing to a cat's head, taped that cat to a mat, and just let it do its work. They saw the prom scene from Carrie, and they're like, oh, this is how movies are made.

It's always been it. It's just spin it. Keep it spinning. It's all spinning. It felt like the opening of Irreversible. I had to look away so I didn't get motion sick. Wow, all right, that brought everybody down. Anyway, but they act like real teenagers,

which is to say the turtles are irritating. Yeah. Let's cut to the chase. April and O'Neill tries to convince Wipsy Goldberg one more time that the turtles are real. She is fired for her efforts. And at home, she realizes that, hey, wait a minute. Her dad, when he was a scientist before he died

in the mysterious lab fire, was working on some kind of serum he was injecting into four turtles. As a little girl, she used to feed pizza to and named Leonardo Michelangelo Raphael and Donatello. And there was also a rat, I think, in that lab. That's an incredible coincidence. It is an incredible coincidence, Stan Olian Oliwood, in real life

reporters are rarely directly related to the Ninja Turtles they cover. In fact, in many ways, it would be unethical of her to cover this story. She is simply too close to the subject. So she, the turtles, track her down. They bring her down to the sewers. Oh, first she goes to Eric Sachs, a state which is enormous.

It is somehow a short drive from Autumn New York, and yet in the snow-covered mountains. Yeah. It lives in some kind of... He lives in some kind of a parent life. It's a quick drive to Tibet, where as we'll later find out, it's nothing but vertiginous cliffs. And plenty of room for truck chasing. But she talks to him, he is very evil.

And he reveals that he grew up in Japan, the mixed race son, assumed mixed race son, of an American GI, lost in Vietnam, and some woman he never mentions anything about. And that a mysterious ninja, I guess, led him up, taught him karate, and taught him about an ancient serum. And he's also the first one who believes her story, right? Yeah, well, he seems to believe it.

He talks to her, there was an ancient serum that they're trying to re-discover. It was a cure for everything. We've moved it at this point into the exposition portion of the film. Oh, doctor. And I mean, doctor exposition. But anyway, April and Neil is captured by the turtles.

They take her to their sewer hideout, which, yes, does have some kind of skateboard track. Earlier, we've seen them be punished by splinter for going out into public. And his tail is like a serpent on his butt that he can use to whip it people. Much like a real rat uses their tail as a bowl whip. And his face looks oddly phallic.

It's like if they saw Joe Campbell and they were like, I guess that's penis-ish. Yeah. Can we dick that up about 79 percent? No, let's have it. Can we make it look real moist? Like real moist. What's having a gross mustache on the floor?

Let's have some kind of like drippy fumant-choo mustache on that. You can like whip it around. You just like have just like goo fly off of it. Yeah. There is a scene where he is tempting Michelangelo with a slice of pizza that is horrifying. And April, who should be, who should, when confronted with this site, there is no proper response but to vomit. She does not, she holds her lunch and she does, you know, she says, oh great, you're my turtles or whatever.

Anyway, and they explain, okay, walk time was see, what have you been up to? Even though it was explained already in the movie, Splinter explains that she freed them from the lab during the fire because I guess this little girl was running around a lab on fire. Nobody knew about it. And freed them by setting them on a sewer grate. That's when the mutagen kicked in the special serum and made them man animals.

And Splinter looking for something to use to discipline the turtles who are not a joke, busy dancing to Hall of Back girl. No, but better yet. No, it's not just that he use to discipline the turtles who are not a joke, busy dancing to Hall of Back Girl. Better yet, no, it's not just that he wants to discipline them. He wants, he's worried that they love teenage stuff, but he knows they will never be upset by the world out there. So he needs to teach them a way to protect themselves. And so he finds a book on N'Jitsu teaches him some kind of being in

Super swim and it's like a fucking old magazine. It's like a brochure. It's like a Ninja pamphlet. It looks like the book that like you, it's like learn to be in Ninja, we'll teach you how. Send away for our free introductory book and they start making you pay a lot for the book about being invisible or breathing underwater and stuff like that.

But he, it's enough in the book to teach him how to be a, how to be an ninja. He teaches them. They do great. And this, the, the, the foot clan attacks their underwater sewer base. I don't remember how to mention the fact that so in the time that April has been a little girl to now, which is, I don't know, maybe 15 years, maybe she is, you know, she's just a young woman, but he is ancient. He is just a young woman.

She's not like ancient. He is an ancient rat man. They must have been experimenting on a 75-year-old rat. Because in that amount of time he's gone from a rat to an old man. The turtles have aged in real time, and actually there's one. The stuff I like the best in it actually was seeing the young turtles. But there's one adorable scene where just all the baby turtles are just swaddled on a counter, and Splinter's just patting each of them on the head.

So as you do to a baby because the head is the part that's best able to take a hard path. Especially on a fucking turtle. So you liked it as a building's roman about these young turtles. Yeah. Yeah. The real sorrows of young turtle. Yeah Coming of age coming of age to yeah, it was a regular turtle hood boy. Anyway

The Shredder and the ninjas arrive by this point we already know that Fickner is working with Shredder. He shows him what he calls the and their plan is totally stupid and we'll get to it But he shows him what he calls the future of warfare, which is a shredder suit with so many blades on it. I don't know how he puts it on without killing himself. Well, the thing is, he never takes it off after he puts it on the first time. Because he's worried. He does everything. One wrong step in every artery in his body is just slightly.

I mean, he looks like Edward Scissor everything. Yeah, yeah. Except he has these like bayonet blades sticking out of him and he can shoot them as projectiles, and then use a magnet to pull him right back to him. So don't buy him new blades, I guess. And he never loses them. Get him something else.

For Christmas. Yeah. Anyway. Like, blade oil or like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I'm going to shine him up with. Yeah, sure. I guess I don't get him closer. Just don't get him.

Like, really big ones or. Turtle wax. You got to give them a t-shirt big enough to go over the blades. Or buy them a book like that wild or something. You know, something that'll inspire wild or something. The book about Gene Wilder or something. The book gives you a choice. It's wilder or something. It's like that is like that Mr. Payback. What it was called.

The robot that you got to choose your own thing do you want to read about G. Wilder or do you want to read about something yeah, it's like that Daniel Luskey novel or you have to flip the fucking thing over to read it the other way Yeah, how's the leaves yeah yeah anyway anyway Shredder beats the crap at a splinter and I thought they kidnapped him to Apparently just left him lying in the sewers so you know you can have the toitles to bring them back to the lab at that point and i think you're using the restroom but at this point uh... i was a bit of splinter they captured three of the

ninja turtles they leave they blow up the entire dannear the thing rap al is dead is that there a bunch of rubble and i guess they've been used to think that is a little a big piece of New York City infrastructure. Those are sewage tunnels. I have to assume they're not used much

because otherwise the turtles would drown regularly. But like, they get away with a lot of stuff in this these ninjas. Like, I believe it's hard to believe, like it's one thing for ninjas to steal things at shipping docs. Nobody cares what happens over there. I can't show up with 12 dead girls in it,

only the wire cares Yeah, but if they blow up part of the sewer Well, they said that's a hot beer bar dem level villainy and about like two minutes later They cut back to the den. There's like no damage and April O'Neill and Rafael master splinter just hang out Yeah, just playing a game plans for that's what you missed. Okay, well thank you for it. They stole the turtles because this serum, this amazing magic healing serum is in the turtle's blood. And here's their plan.

This ooze, if you will. This ooze, the secret of which is, it's in the blood. Talking about the family, it's in the blood. It's a London beat song. Anyway, so nobody remembers that band. Anyway, so here's the thing, here's their plan. They've got some big poison toxin. They're gonna set it off on top of a tall building,

killing much of New York. Then, they're gonna show up with a serum that happens to be the perfect antidote and be like, hey, we saved everybody, give us money, please. Somehow, that's gonna give the foot control over New York. That part is kind of glossed over a little bit. You understand, it feels like maybe the CDC would take over that point and be like, I'm sorry, we're gonna take your serum

from the other two. The elected officials, like that. I don't know why it's like, there's poison, I guess the best ninja boss with the coolest costume becomes mayor. Here's your money, sir. It's in the city charter. I guess when they started better.

The thing is, I wasn't founded the town. In put this in, it's an old New Amsterdam law. It says right here, in case of emergency, That's what they served better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better.

The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better.

The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. The third one better. what I was doing, yep, anyway, anyway, the plans brilliant. And so. So what's a foot plane gonna get out of this? They're gonna be in charge of New York.

They're gonna be in charge of New York. I don't know, like health insurance for a little money. Yeah, because sex, of course, the villain is Jewish. Thanks, Hollywood. But anyway, we don't even see the turtles celebrating Hanukkah to balance out with a positive portrayal of a Jewish person. Anyway, so the turtles are getting their blood sucked out of them. And Raphael, April and Will Arnette have to crash through the gates of the Saxo state

because of course his secret hideout is his house. And again in Iceland, in Iceland, he's like a freeze-meister or something. He is a freeze-meister or something. He is a freeze-meister. Yeah. Is that just a German, Mr. Freeze? Yeah. They changed it to Mr. Freeze when they came to Ellis Island from the old country.

Yeah. Your name is Mr. Freeze. Oh, no, no. Is-Espin, you all hungry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. All right, Mr. Freeze. You're John Mr. Freeze.

There you go. Keep moving along. Keep moving along. Welcome to America. Here's your starter kit. One little American flag, a bald eagle feather, piece of American cheese, and a DVD copy of American history eggs. Why the North country vote for Boss Tweed, thanks. My name is Shredder, no, your name is Sam Jones now. Enjoy it.

I'm a ninja turtle, you're a factory worker now, but... But I'm only a teenager. That's the way I get rid of this. Yeah, the working age is seven, so that's not an excuse. Don't go to school, we don't have any. Ralph, April, and the other guy are able to save the turtles by injecting them with a big canister of adrenaline that just happens to be standing nearby and is already hooked

up to the machine. Just for fun, though. Shredder is fighting Raphael and where Shredder had a fight on his hands with Splinter. He or he easily bests the cocky sarcastic Raphael who is less sarcastic than a jerk throughout most of the movie. He's doing like a Christian bailbat man kind of thing more so. He's yelling to make G all the time. What?

Make G? Shredders in my life, make G. I like your describing it as he's yelling to make G G. That's what Christian feels. How good is yelling you? He's yelling to someone on a different movie. Yeah. Make G, what are you doing?

Directing not this movie that way. Yeah. Stop making torque too. Wait, do you make torque? He's doing it? Directing not this movie that way. Stop making torque two. Wait, do you make torque two? That means do it? You did not make torque. No, that doesn't mean you can't make torque two. There's no log in there.

That's right. It's not like Johnny Torque has dibs on the big one. That's right. There is nothing in the rule book that says that. No, that says a big G kit direct torque two. I'll allow it. Yeah, you're right. Anyway, Shredder and Sacks go to release the poison,

because of course the poison that will kill all of New York has to be released by Shredder personally with Shredder standing right under the canister and Sacks a couple floors down. On top of a tall building out in the open where everyone can see. Yeah, and... Shredder has not taken off his super suit. No, he which I would think would get in the way of using a fucking laptop

No, you know, you have to imagine him sitting in a helicopter wearing that just bumping in everybody slashing their face up And everything sweaty so sweaty inside that thing. Oh, yeah, it's very shiny. So it reflects a lot of light in the heat Yeah, yeah, but it's hot it's metal, so it also takes it in. Yeah, but it's that new metal. All right. Anyway, that doesn't get me behind. From Germany? Yeah, it's Grine's Core Death R.

Death R, and there's some rap elements to it. They go to the building and like every movie ever made in action movies in Hollywood, they're on a roof and they've got a stuff a bad guy from releasing a thing, just like in Sherlock Holmes, just like in the Avengers, just like in what other recent movies. Just like an amazing spider man, just like an amazing spider man. It's like in a poison tall building. The movie. The movie. Right at R. Is playing. What about Ghostbusters?

Ghostbusters, yeah, they're on a, that I mean, that was 30 years ago. That was a new thing then. People didn't even know you could make movies on rooftops. Yeah. It's like when a character saw them make, they're like, is there a era up there? And they said, yeah, Kevin Bacon in,

era up there. The era up there, you know, that move basketball movie. That hasn't been made yet? That hasn't been made yet? That hasn't been made yet? But it's been in development hell for 15 years. I assume. Anyway, they were looking for the right star, Kevin Bacon. Anyway, it's like when a Kira Kurosawa made Seven Samurai, and his producer said,

you cannot point a camera at the sun. It will melt all our eyes. And he says, I'm doing it. And he did. And cinema was forever and never the same again. This just like that. And then years later, JJ Abrams with Lens Flare's. So there you go. Direct line.

Direct line from a character in the cello and Seven Stand Right to JJ Abrams Lens Flare's. So where are the other Lens Flare's and like Wii Sports? What were you saying Stuart? We're just wondering where we're at in the movie. Almost the end. Almost. So, we're very in the movie almost the end almost got Blessedly we're very close to the end Thank you

Ryan bless so when is crang show? Blessedly yeah, Brian blessed flies in with all his wing soldiers just yelling at the turtles. Yeah Anyway, so the turtles show up as hurdles are one. Oh no. I missed the truck chase down a, there's a truck chase down a snowy mountain in New York state. I guess they drove up to great gorge or some shit. And the, because the people in New York aren't even wearing jackets. Yeah, in New York City, it is either, if it's a winter, global warming has hit hard.

People are just walking around in regular summer street clothes, maybe a light like a hoodie, maybe. We're like one of those zip up hoodies with no hoodies. Or some kind of ninja suit. Maybe you're walking around. People, it is so, it is not so cold that you can't just walk around in a short sleeve ninja costume. But they have this truck battle where they're jumping from trucks and trucks or crashing into trucks. Slide and under trucks. Slight and under trucks. Slight and under trucks. Slight and under trucks. And there's so many points in this where you are just watching polygons flying around on a screen.

And if you're under the age of 19, you cannot even see it. It just, you cannot decode what is happening before your eyes. Especially if you, especially if you're like us watching it, you know, digital streaming. There's a lot of pixels. There's a lot of, like, pixels. Yeah, it might as well just be pixels flying at your face. Anti-aliased, it is heavily aliest. This is what it must feel like when someone is standing in front of a magic eye poster

and they cannot unhook their eyes. And they're like, I know there's a star or a dolphin or a turtle or a rainbow in here, and I cannot see it. I knew there were a bunch of heroes in the half shell, avoiding trucks, bragging hearts, taking names, and kicking ass, and I couldn't figure out what was going on. And a problem with this movie is that everything moves so fast, and the turtles are so animated,

that it's hard to follow them even when they're just talking, and their voice is kind of don't sound like they're coming out of their bodies. So it's been a long time to be like, oh, the turtles are like, make a joke right now. Like I didn't even realize I could have trouble following the dialogue at time. Yeah, and that's the point that you should be excited

about the movie, not the points where people are just doing exposition all day long. Yeah, all day long in the hot sun. They also don't have particularly distinctive voices. Like they not Johnny Knoxville's not a distinct voice. I would say they're a little stank. But Johnny Knoxville does lead up to the world. They're not know Johnny Knoxville's not a distinct voice Doxville does the another shot at Knoxville you got you got Tony Shilu is splinter but otherwise like they neither went the way of like Tello is nerdy Michael Angelo's party dude Rafi Elis, but I get their person No, but that comes through their voices. I'm just like they didn't they neither went the direction of like getting famous people to do it or

The direction of getting famous people to do it or the direction of getting the real voices to get it. Once on the cartoon show. If it's good enough for community, enough voice actors. They could have gotten genuine voice actors who are good at doing voice stuff. Like Drew Barrymore. Hey, it's me, a Moccalangelo. There you go. Cowlbong up pizza time. Do it if you're down. So? So that's your Michelangelo, what's your Donatello? Uh, it's me, I'm Donatello, I'm the nerd. Okay, what's your Raphael? Hey, it's me, Dan McCoy, oh my god.

I said Raphael. I gotta say, your Michelangelo sounds an awful lot like my sea biscuit. Hey, it's me, your old pal sea biscuit. Gotta go! All the most popular horse there ever was! Uh, that would be that one horse that colligated me to go. I'm the most popular horse there ever was. That would be that one horse that colligated me to center. She is a lady. I mean, he was very unpopular.

No, no. He won those people over. Rome loved him by the end of it. But he did sound like sea biscuit. I'm a senator now. Oh. Moroads for me. That's what I vote for. I don't know how to go. I vote for see biscuit. I'm a senator now. Whoa. More votes for me. That's what I vote for.

I don't wanna go. I vote for my own. I don't wanna miss a ghost somewhere. That's the thing about this. He's very busy, or? He's busy. Here are the voices I would have done. He's glad hope in everybody.

He's semi Leonardo A. He's a spy. Raphael. It's semi, Raphael. Whoa. Donatello. Hey guys, me, Donatello. And of course, Michelangelo.

Well, it's me, Michelangelo. Someone's going to jail old man, and it's not going to be me. Perfect. Perfect step. Madeline, Madeline, I want you to wear your hair up. The lady wants a gray suit with a rectangle neck cut. The general, the Ninja Turtle certainly knows what he wants. I don't want to wear it, Michelangelo,

but if that's the way you want me to do it, Michelangelo, I'll dress that way. Ninja Turtle's got a really psychosexual all this up. Judy, Judy, it can't matter to you. It can't matter to you what, how you dress, do it for me. Do it for me, Judy. I'll write Michelangelo. This is a really great, bad impressions podcast.

I'm just saying. I thought your sea biscuit was great. Yes, they really captured what sea biscuits sounded like. I'm just saying. So anyway, how did this marry in? Merry Christmas, you wonderful old sewer. That's Michelangelo. So what happened to the... Very Christmas, you're a wonderful old sewer. That's Michael Angelo.

So what happens in this movie? It's about turtles or something. So they finally show up. They beat Shredder. They fight him for a while. They managed to defeat him by using a trick. They used to play as kids where they would hit buckets around, but jump in each other's backs. And they stop him from releasing all the poison.

I don't even know what happens to sex. He just kind of disappears. You get knocked out, and that's it. And then what? It's just, it's like final fight. He just turns into meat and they eat him. What was that double dragon? I don't remember.

Might have been both. Threader falls to his head. It's a gauntlet. They eat him and they go, yo, no. Yeah. And the turtles disappear before anyone sees them even though they were right there in front of everybody.

But I guess everybody was like, there's a bunch of monster ninjas over there walking around and talking and bantering and making top culture references. And there's like a suit of armor that I think might have a dead guy in it right here. Let me stare at this suit of armor. And let the, those living turtle men aren't that interesting.

They're probably all staring at their smartphones, Elliot. Yeah, they're all, that's true. They're all living through their picture lenses and not paying attention to reality. So anyway, they all meet up later. The turtles show up in their turtle van because we got to get some more toys to sell in here. And Michelangelo accidentally blows up. We learn that's called with a missile. And Michelangelo makes one last creepy sexual bid at April

and then plays Happy Together by the Turtles on his stereo and the end. And luckily that song is cut short so that we can hear a new theme song. Like a rap song about Turtles, or something, or something. It's written the shell. Shell shot. Yeah, you're gonna get Shell Shocked, Raphael. He's the leader of the group that's not actually true, but the old rap said that. like a rap song about her father or something. Shredding the set shells. Sheld shock.

Yeah, you're gonna get shell shocked, Raphael. He's the leader of the group. That's not actually true, but the old rap said then. Yeah, so we. And then I sat through the whole credits waiting for the moment when Shredder shows back up again because he's still alive, nothing. Nothing but that damn Paramount Mountain just laughing at me.

For sitting through all those damn CGI credits. So we should wrap this up quick. Yeah, because we're running very long. We're running long. We're at a venue that, uh, so, uh, that's the total. So, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, uh, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh, so, uh I'll probably say bad bad. It's short. It's not even that short. Okay. Great.

Perfect. So Willarnet makes a play. Like he makes a try for it. So the scene's he's in. Willarnet's a pro. He's going to put his all into it even when it's not good. And all the scenes with an Injutor dolls are way too hyper when they're like sliding around down those fucking sewers. Yeah.

I don't know what's going on. They slide around the sewers the way like tarzan or gizziness or something. Is that like the fucking Sonic the Hedgehog loops? Like what's going on? Yeah, the rings they're collecting and uh... Practically. Yeah. Splinter is basically old tales.

Yeah. I'm going to give this a marginal good bad just because it reminds me of bad movies of my youth like Teenage Mutant individuals are in nostalgia property and in a way this movie is in nostalgia property And in that it reminded me of something like Howard the Duck or something There was a certain point when we were watching it that you started getting quiet and not making fun of the movie as much and then you just started singing They're the world's most fearsome fighting team. Just under your breath. And I think you shouted turtle power

when they kicked shredder off at building. Yeah. Well, it was a mashup of that. And when I was 17. Yeah. It was a turtle good year. What do you think, Ali? What do you got to say?

I got to say, I hope this would be a good bed movie, because it's super over the top. I think it was really a bad bed movie. But if you watch it with a bunch of people who are going to make one of it, this would be a good bad movie, because it's super over the top. I think it was really a bad bad movie, but if you watch it with a bunch of people who are gonna make one of it, maybe it's a good bad movie. I don't know. It wasn't two-gram, which I liked. So three for three, I don't think that was what we came to.

Best movie of the year, best picture. Give that one all the Oscars ever. Sorry, Wings. I think the first, that's picture Oscar. Sorry Gigi. Sorry wings and also Sunshine because there were two best pictures back then. Nobody counts Sunshine's big best big. And we had a special poetic whatever like best artistic. That's the one with special poetic whatever. I think it was best artsy fartsy what's it called?

So in lieu of letters from listeners as we said before we're gonna do some Q&A with the audience there's a migrared tough song to sing in the audience. Or is it Q&A? Q and A. We're Q and some A's and A and some Q's. Questions from you, and you, and you, and you, to you, and you, and me. The answers are here. The questions are there. Everry where?

We all have our hair. Still, we'll lose it someday. Question us and you'll get an A for answer and for effort to things that you can get an A and for calling out around the bellhouse are you ready to ask some questions the clubhouse is here and answers are here for questions at the Bellhouse. Questions there for Stuart and for Dan McCoy. There'll be people asking and people tasking. We're in masking tape on their face for some reason.

We've got people lined up. It's a season of the Witch Halloween 3 questions and answers. Let's do it up. Just, just start asking your question. Yeah, just, just started. Art two. That's my strategy. Just start talking.

We all have questions. Oh, thank you, thank you. Anyone, I'll be selling my album out of the drunk of my car after the show. We won't have time for all the questions, unfortunately, but we'll have time for some. So yeah. All right.

And please, as with Flop House Standard, tell us your name and not your last name. All right, Dylan, last name with health. Thank you, Dylan. Very professionally done. Thank you, Dylan. Okay. So my friends and I have a tradition where we watch a bad movie, Drink Heavily, and then we finger pain our feelings about it.

So, I would wonder if you guys could give us some suggestions on movies that would make particularly vivid pictures. Keeping in mind, Stuart, we have watched Castle Freak and Head of the Family. Sounds like there's a third part of that trilogy that you're a missing. Well, someone removed it from you, too, as you said. I won't lie.

I did think that you were gonna say finger bang your feelings about it Why would you ever think that? Oh no, I Just think about I just think about things a lot Well, I mean I'm gonna throw a tango and cash out there just because it's fun. Oh, you just did tango cash then, thank you, Cobra. Here's something that will create vivid and horrifying finger pictures. The Garbage Pill Kids movie. I think.

They did that one too, huh? Well, I think they can teach us more than we could teach that. That's what radio is teaching us. Wow, so you're insulting them. They're the radio in this part. That's the radio Rahim who gets killed. Anybody, yes, Stuart? Okay, can I go?

Okay. I'd probably say Jim Cotta. Oh, that's a good one. Jim Cotta is a solid. Yeah, Stuart. Okay, can I go? Okay. I'd probably say Jim Cotta. Oh, that's a good one. Jim Cotta's a solid, yeah, solid. Might get some artful karate style, finger painting. Yeah, sure. Next question.

Hello, I'm Seth, last name with Held. Hey, Seth. Hey, Seth. So I was born in the year of 1992. Thanks for making us feel old, dude. Meaning I would. You know what I was doing in 1992? Wait in a year for Jurassic Park.

I was born too late for the 80s cartoon and then I was too old when the reboot cartoon happened. So you're that lost generation that never got experienced into turtles. Yeah. I guess my question is, like, what was, or is the appeal of the Ninja Turtles as a nostalgia? Wow. I've got a sense.

We were talking about this a lot, because I think you had the strongest tie with the Ninja Turtles. When I was a kid. I think you wrote the turtle pedia on the internet. I didn't, but I did. Which has nothing to do with actual turtles. I wish, like, I feel like if somebody had a real turtle problem and they're like, all look up turtle Wikipedia.

And they find turtle pedea and they're like, this is all about cartoons. I guess I'll put my turtles down. I'll put pizza around the house to draw out these pesky turtles. Here's the thing. When I was a kid, I was all about the ninja turtles. Like, I was all over them.

I wasn't yet old enough to really get into, I think, Marvel Comics. I felt they were like a little too violent for me at the time. I've ever since I saw it. I was young. I saw in a cover of one of, I think, it was Jim Lee's first issue on Kenny X-Men, where Clostis is like,

have a, why did you kill Storm? And I was like, I don't want to know what Storm's done. I'm asking have a, why did you kill Storm? And I was like, I don't want to know what Storm's not kill. Ask and have it too many questions as dangerous. But a storm, a person? I thought they were robots, I didn't know. Anyway, but they were, there was something about them

that was like really fun, ninjas are cool, mutant animals are cool. And for a kid kid that cartoon was genuinely funny. Like, and I have to say it's probably the first thing aside from loony tunes that I ever saw like, Meta Humor in, where there was one scene I remember where they're going, they're like driving in their turtle van to a, to a, the sight of an action sequence. And the music playing is really dramatic and the turtle driving looks at the camera and

is like, wow, pretty dramatic music. And then he's driving. And as a kid, that kind of thing blew my mind because outside of loony tunes, which was not like a serious cartoon, whereas in this one, it was serious. You didn't see a lot of that. They were like a genuinely really fun thing. And there was a lot of imagination kind of how the characters were put together and the kind of foes that they fought and things like that

And I'm a cartoon ran for a really long time for a long time I remember when I was a kid they released a special statue you could buy to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the Ninja Turtles action figures Because for an action figure line run five years was a huge thing and the fact that like 20 years later, you know, whatever it is, these stupid things are still going around like. So you're claiming that longevity is a mark of quality because I believe that two and a half men has been around for quite some time. I'm saying that turtles live a very long time.

All right. No, but the appeal was that they're super cool ninjas. Hi. Hey, I was wondering if you could inject yourselves into the worlds of any of the movies that you've flopped before, which one you would like the most? Okay. Into the worlds? Well, not Food Fighter, Uglos.

Too many eldritch horrors. What do you think, Ellen? I would say. Not 10,000 BC. Not 10,000 BC. Not 10,000 BC. Not the easy part of the universe. Not after Earth. Rich Harers. What do you think? What would you guys say? Not 10,000 BC.

Not 10,000 BC. No, this is the easy part of being on Earth. Not after Earth. No. There's a lot of joy to be found in Bratz, but I feel like there's a weird creepiness if I was in that world that I don't want. I think you would be arrested.

Yeah. Oh, boy, it's chugged. Is it weird that the first thing that popped into my head was a little bit of heaven? I mean, that's what I'm really like. There are no ones, dude head was little bit of heaven I mean that's my very lowlands dude. I'm the real sweet. Yeah, you get a hang out You just hire Peter dinkled to hang out with you for a couple hours The dink yeah, Jesus. I don't know They're all terrible places to live. I'm gonna say mr. Magorium's one room. Yeah

Worst case scenario you and Natalie Natalie Portman are gonna go jump on some mattresses at a mattress store, and that sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon. Yeah, I know, I'll steal that. The Wonder Importment. Why is it creepier when Dan says it? Next question. All right.

Ethan, last name withheld? Actually, yes. Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, Ethan Hawke, everything. I actually have... Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, Ethan Hawke, everybody. Ethan Hawke, everybody. Cheers. Cheers. Star of...

Oh, no, I was gonna say chill factor, but that was skid all the way to... Sorry. Actually, I have two questions. Make them quick. Ninja Turtle One, movie one. Ninja Turtle One? What was your favorite Ninja Turtle as a child? Donatello. Michael Antelope.

Uh, Donatello. You, it was Leonardo Dan. No, no. I was, I mind was Leo, so I sympathized. No, no, but it was my favorite color. That mattered to me when I was five. Well, that's the thing. I always wished Donatello was blue instead of purple.

But now I know purple is a regal color. Do you wish he had a better weapon? Because a bowstaff is pretty lame. It's pretty lame, but he can also make bombs and guns. That's it. I don't think two katanas is like way better than anything any of the other ones. I mean, it's kind of against the rules. You'd have a katana. I'm just gonna short-knit. Short-knit, right? Yeah, for the die show. Yeah. See, I feel like having two katanas is kind of unfair. Like, you just got two big swords. I like the fact that you got done tell. He can fucking beat you up with just a big stick.

There is a part in the movie where Splinter has time out there passing, because I gave them weapons, and he gives to Leonardo, he goes, the katana, the leader of the swords, and then does not name the other weapon. There you go. It's like the end of a Gilligan's Island.

And there's a box. There's a box other shit in the corner. You guys pick stuff out. So what's your second question? Second question. What is the one thing a movie can do that will just turn you against insulin? Like you can be watching it and you can be like,

oh, this is a good bad movie. And then it does something you're like, no, fuck this. Bad bad movie right now. I'm going to jump in. Any time a movie begins with like a fucking prophecy, like my grandma always spoke of the day and the ninjas would rise up and take over the robot overlords.

And we know it's gonna be bad, yeah, it's gonna be hard. Yeah, I think that's pretty, yeah. That's pretty much it. I mean, there's always a second act SAG, but like, I don't feel like there's like a thing you can point to, it's just that like, it's clear that they're like, oh, we have a great beginning for a movie. And then we have no idea what the rest of the movie

is gonna be. Until the stunning climax. Yeah. Next question. Hey, dudes. Hey, Stu. Okay, so. I was supposed to say that part.

Continue. Hi, my name is Stu's coworker. Question. It's amazing that you got exactly the right job for your name. That's as big a coincidence as Megan Fox setting loose some turtles and then years later finding them again. By the way, K-cell, everybody is wearing the Steven

Sigal jacket from On Deadly Ground. So what's your question? If you had to human centipede the Ninja Totals, and what... What order would they be in? I mean, what, Raphael in the front, so he can make a lot of quips, a reiner. So, wait, is there gonna be four of them? Well, that's what you can't put Donatelle in front because he'll think of a way out,

unless he's getting poop shoved in this face all the time. I'll tell you one thing, you do not want Michelangelo in front because he's only eating pizza. Yeah, yeah. Leonardo's somewhere in the middle, who cares what happens to him? And is Splinter involved? He died on his... Yeah. Leonardo somewhere in the middle, who cares what happens to him?

And is Splinter involved? He died on his... I mean, who's feeding the pizza? Oh, Splinter's doing it. That's terrible. Next question, please. We can't think about this anymore. Thank you.

I don't know how I can follow that. Hi, Brian, last name withheld. Hi, Brian. You guys, you mentioned in the movie that William Fickner just completely disappears without explanation and that there's no reason for the Shredder to be helping him. What I found out was that- Well, the Shredder is like his mentor, type of man. Well, what it actually was was in the original cut I found this out.

He, what, William Fickner was the Shredder. And when that tested terribly, they filmed those two scenes with the shredder and his basement and then dubbed over all of his dialogues for the rest of the movie. And then filmed those other scenes of William Fingert being in another place. Exactly, that's why he's inside while everything else happens. It's amazing that they're like, this is the flaw with the movie.

I'm, people love William Fingert so much. They don't want to see him stuck in the suit of armor. They want to see that handsome face. How is it possible that that tested terribly? Like, it's like, oh, we don't, this, I don't buy him as a ninja. I don't like this, I don't like this charismatic character actor to be the main villain. Let's get a second guy in here. And then just have William Fickner kind of just, just to be here at the end of the film.

Who knows what happened to him? What voice is that? Is that Jay Leno? That was the air going out of flip-pick, and that's why in the movie, his name is Eric Sex, which is the white people version of Aruku Sakki. Yeah, yeah. Anglosas de Roku Sakki.

So do you have a question? I guess my question is related knowledge on this. My question related to that is, what's your favorite plot hole you've seen in a movie? Favorite plot? I mean, the one that immediately comes to mind is the fact that they just blew up that turtle hanging out and nobody got hurt. And nothing got blown up.

It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Like in any movie? Any movie ever made. I've talked about this before, but I, it's a movie I like, but I still have a problem with the fact that in backs the future part two, Biff manages to return to a future that he erased, allowing Marty and Doc to get back

in the car and go back in time. So you're saying when he leaves the Biff verse, and he comes back to 2015, he's created the dystopian bifurst. So there's no way that he could return to the original. But he's really, as you see, having a heart attack when he gets there, what's going on? He's like, so I'm just going to say TNC classic, Tangular Cash, they clear their names by blowing all the evidence that proves that they were the bad guys. Next question, please.

And then they high five. And then the fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue.

The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue.

The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. The fact that they high five is the clue. I had, oh thank you, I had a really specific plot point question about this movie. I wanted to get your opinion on it. So, Shredder becomes a father to sex when sex is like a little boy. He's like a mentor figure, yeah. Yeah, he said he was like a father to my assuming is at least 20 years older than him. So then when sex is like 50 in this movie, are we watching the turtles like feeding up a 75 year old man? We are watching the turtles getting their asses kicked by a 75 year old man. But I mean, you stick anybody in that shredder suit.

It could be the late William Hickey and he's just like, he's just like killing him, you know? Yeah, Larry Bud Melman inside there. Yeah, put Calvin DeForest in there and it's, you know, I mean, yeah, put a kid in there and it's, you know, I mean, that, yeah, put a kid in there and he's gonna beat him up, you know. They tried that, didn't test it out. Originally, Sherrod was gonna be a baby and a man soon.

Sure. Sorry, your question, please. Jared, less than and without. I'll make you, Jared. Stewart. Okay. In Stewart's special segment that no one who's listening will know about, there were multiple tabs open.

One of them was for a side I won't name. The other was for horror boobs. Yeah. Just want to know how that worked out. How? LAUGHTER I think horror boobs is kind of a misnomer. It's more just like a beautiful women in horror movies

in the second half. Why are you looking in, baby? Why? Now, not that I'm a regular visitor to the site, but I believe it is pictures of boobs from horror movies. I think you're right. I mean, I don't have a full membership. I've only got to the like, you just go to the visitor

and the guest preview. And then, I say yes, I'm 18. How are we going to know? I mean, come come on I guess question please hi my name is Andrea last name withheld and I'm not a nerdy white guy so I feel overwhelmed right now thank you thank you can I can I say that we appreciate you all the more yeah but I feel overwhelmed by modern life and this may be not the right question for us. We'll say.

What are your tips for when I'm looking at Netflix or Fios and it's time for me to choose a movie or what are some tips that I can use to choose what it's time to look at. Hmm. This is a pretty simple one for me. I would say buy yourself of a subscription to Full Moon Streaming. It's your number one place for Be Horror movies. You can finally watch Puppet Master Retro in your home by your loan sum. Or is it Retro Puppet Master?

I think it's Retro Puppet. I would just say if it sounds interesting, try it. The worst that happens is you get bored and you turn it off. I've got two pieces of advice. The first is big trouble in little China. And the second is, why don't you just have a few drinks while you're watching it. And it doesn't really matter so much. I think we have time for two more questions.

Hello, my name is Rina, last name with held. In my home, there are three of us who listen to the floppos, myself, Dan, last name also with held, and Dan's 14-year-old son, Jackson. If some of you remember back, we select the episodes he's allowed to listen to by listening to themselves. What he listens to on his own time, we do not know. He's 14, what are you gonna do? Stuart, if you recall back in November, I sent you a message requesting that you send Jackson

a happy birthday shout out. Oh yeah. And you did that. And then you, on the Facebook, flop, house page responded accordingly with pictures of yourself at the age of 14 or somewhere there about To which I have to tell you that he was insanely excited Right as a thank you He sent you guys that oh

It's somewhat selfish. It's not a gift Oh, it's so selfish. It's not a gift. What? What? He has asked that you sign it. Sure. So it's just to describe it. It says, Ellie, it's Dan and Stu.

That's a chicken leg. Oh, I could tell. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a chicken leg bet signal. And I would immediately go wherever that was being projected. Right.

Right. And Dan has her remote control. A flash signal. Yeah. And then what's this for Stu? Oh, that's the host cat. Oh, yeah. Super man.

The host. The house. Ah! Popular character of the flop house. Popular character. Wow! Jackson has been working on this for the last couple of weeks. So it's a big deal.

That's beautiful. Well, if you stick around, we'll sign this as soon as we're done. Have a pen. OK, great. And then we'll hand it back to you. Thanks, guys. So Dan, if you'd like to choose one last person. Yes.

One last person. We've got four, one last question. The gentleman. There's a gentleman with a giant foam finger out of the audience. All right. If he could, oh,. If if if if if you could please state your name. Just on. All right. Yeah. My name is David Lasname with held Kaelin. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Poor the listeners at home. Did mom tell you I was going to be here? Is that how you found out? David Lasname with held Kaelin for the listeners at home, wearing a hockey jersey. He's wearing a Devil's Jersey and a New York.

What is that? Oh, that's right. I forgot. You have a Devil's wearing a devil's jersey and a New York, what is that? Oh, that's right, I forgot you have a devil's jersey with your own name. A giant's hat that is sent someone screaming into madness. I think giants fans are pretty rare in this city, so. Yeah, yeah. And so you, to just to make people clear, make clear, that is a personalized devil's jersey that you bought.

No, I didn't, but that's a story. He didn't get it while playing for the devil. So this is not one time Stanley Cup winner for the devil's. David Gale. They have three Stanley cups. We only play for one of them. Wow. There are three cups on the jersey, though.

I think that's pretty explanatory. That's a good one. Anyway, do you have a, yeah, yeah, no? You mentioned he just yearned to remind me how terrible I've been being. Both. That's the worst thing I've ever sent you. That's so horrible.

I'm sorry. He is a fine brother. He is an excellent uncle to my son. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Thanks, guys. It's a very irritating man. Yeah.

So anyway. So your question. Yeah, I know most of you are expecting me to list off a bunch of factual errors by the floppers in recent episodes, but I'm wary of appearing even more obnoxious in person than I am in my letters. So I'm not going to do that, although don't worry, I will talk about sports.

How long is the preamble to your question? No, that was it. I can go on longer than your letters song if you want. No, thank you. Okay. Oh. Don't test me. Don't challenge me to a nonsense off

I don't think I should do that sometimes anyway. Yeah, I could do you I was recently watching the classic mid 1990s basketball themed erotic thriller Eddie I don't think that's an accuracy Goldman What's the Goldman one with is that the one where she teams up with Theodore Rex or is that Theodore Rex? That's... It is not Eddie. I know that one. Is that the one where it's made in America? No, no. That's when Ted Danson plays basketball for her, uh, in Blackface during the Oscars.

Uh... Don't get yourself in trouble. Keep talking. Didn't, isn't that what he did? Uh, it was Woopy Goldberg and Frank Langella in it. Uh, and when I was watching it, the flop house instantly popped into my head during one of the film's crucial scenes. Approximately 28 minutes into the film, team owner Wild Bill Burgess announces to a sparsely-filled Madison Square garden that head coach John Bailey has walked off the job,

and superfan Edwina Eddie Franklin will be the team's head coach for the night. Cut to the stunned Cleveland Cavaliers bench where a referee, leaving through a small booklet actually says, there's nothing in the rule book. This is, of course, completely absurd. There are many strict rules regarding contracts for players and coaches. So is this the correcting Eddie Porsche? How does that work?

I think you missed it. Well, good news. We've got the director and screenwriter of Eddie backstage right now. Come on out, boys. I believe my brother has mistaken us for the Eddie IMDB Goofs page. Let's please continue.

Just to make this clear, this is a movie that features Frank Langella using a Wild West accent, seriously. It presents the idea that $50,000 is a lot of money to make as an NBA head coach. And the movie develops tension by introducing the threat that the nicks might be sold and moved to St. Louis, which is ridiculous. But despite all of that, the referee finding nothing in the rule book is to me the most ridiculous part of this movie. So my question is this. Is there one? Yeah.

What movie have you seen where you felt very knowledgeable about the subject matter, but presented the most inexplicable Deus Ex Machina plot device that you knew to be total nonsense? Now, before you answer... There are some rules to this game, boy. Before you answer, I have something for all of you. I know that occasionally listeners will send you guys gifts. I'd never really understood why. But we bring light and joy to the east. They don't know you in person.

In person. Some of you might. But it always seemed nice, so I'm getting it on the act here. As you all know, Elliot is a die-hard Kansas City Royals fan. Love him. Yeah. My beloved Royals. So in honor of their World Series run this past fall,

and my brother's favorite pop song of 2014, I have gotten... I'm curious to find out what that is. It's a song called Royals. It's by a female vocalist. By Lorde, yeah, yeah. Because I love any song about my beloved baseball team. Yeah. The Kansas called Royals by a female vocalist. If I lowered it, yeah, yeah. Because I love any song about my beloved baseball team, the Kansas City Royals.

I have gotten each of you your own Kansas City Royals t-shirt with a personalized name on it, especially for each of you. I consider it something of a thank you for putting up with all of my irritating complaints for the past few years. Although, in Eliot's case, he's been doing it for about three decades, so I don't know that I have enough money to pay for enough t-shirts to make up

for that. Oh, but that's very sweet of you, David. Oh, thanks. What a great brother you are. So what was the question again? I don't know what- I'll just go along with it. A movie that we were knowledgeable about that had a day of smocking a thingy in it.

That made no sense. It's complicated. Okay, so I don't think I'm an expert on this subject, but it's something that's always bothered me. There's a movie called Signs directed by a M. Knight Shymalan. And it's a movie that posits that aliens that are violently allergic to water would come to the planet earth,

which is almost all water. Like, they've come to poison themselves. It's insane. They call it planet suicide. There's even a scene where they're showing home video footage of an alien running around in Brazil, the fucking rainforest, dude. So signs.

Okay. I mean, this isn't a movie, and we've talked about it on the show before, but I know that you, Elliot and I, and everyone at our day job. I think this is what I was going to tell about it. It's quite fond of Studio 60, the television program. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Which presents an insane view of what it is to be a comedy writer or how a television show or any Functional adult business might work. Yeah A world where someone can look at a script for two seconds and say this is really funny stuff

Or a world where the head writer such as yourself Is blocked as he leaves the show. Never happened. By people asking for autographs. This is a show where my iPod that Studio60 exists in an alternative universe, where, well, alternate universe. I guess an alternative universe would be like an alternative universe that's just like a more of a college undergracing. An alternate universe where sketch comedy is the biggest

form of entertainment. And so the firing of a head writer on where sketch comedy is the biggest form of entertainment. And so the firing of a head writer on a sketch comedy show in the hiring of a new one calls for a press conference. And in this universe, sketch comedy is also the number one threat to Christianity. Yeah. Because if that sketch crazy Christians gets out, they're going to blow the lid off of the whole. Jesus is just sitting there and smoking a Stogie saying, we got to put the lid over the whole. Jesus is just today, I've been smoking a Stogi saying, we gotta put the lid on this crazy, crazy, Christian sketch.

We got a good thing going, me and my pops. And we can't let this thing come to an end. But yeah, I think that's something where every second you're like, why are they all writing in the same room and there's no lights on? So I hope that answers your question. But I guess TV is when the real time comes. Mysteriousious sir.

Oh, thank you for the, we're taking. Thank you very much Dave. Thank you. Oh, mine says, sigh on the back. And mine says, Dave's brother. Where are you? What is your house? I'm glad that your number three. We have gone past our lot of time, so I'm assuming we should probably wrap it up.

I'm getting the yes-nod from all the sage. So, rather than... We'll skip recommendations. Yeah, I mean, if you really need to know what the fuck recommendations we have. I think I already made one. We're all reduced. Caller us outside of the show and be like, tell me what to watch. But, in lieu of that,

I'm just saying... Yeah, thanks for telling them to do that, Dan. I just say, good night. tell me what to watch. But in lieu of that, I'm just saying. Yeah, thanks for telling them to do that, Dan. I just say, good night. Tell me what to watch, dammit. Show me something against a wall. I've got a specific set of skills. Tell me what to watch. So we'll leave you.

So here's the recommendation. Maybe don't watch a movie this weekend. Go out and do something nice. Hey, here's a recommendation. Choose life. Be good to out and do something nice. Hey, here's a recommendation. Choose life. Be good to each other. Be nice. Yeah, love each other.

So be nice for the flat pass. For the flat pass, I've been damn a co-boy. Can we just turn it to Kurt Vonnegut? I think we did. Yeah. Yeah, so it goes. If you've been damn a co-boy, then I've been Steward Wellington. And putting the math together, carry the one at an awesome, I think I believe I am Elliott

Kaelin. And that would mean this is the flop house. Good night everyone. Thanks guys. Thanks very much for coming out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be leaving, but I want to say quick thanks to everyone who helped us put the show

together. Thank you very much to Jeremy and everyone at the pod fest. Thank you guys so much for, for going with the show. Guys, give it up to the round of applause for the flop-out. Thank you. Thank you very much to everybody at the Bellhouse and for-out. Thank you. Thank you very much to everybody at the Bell House and for everybody else for coming out. Thank you very much.

Hey, this is Pop Rocket. We're your source for all pop culture information. It's an intellectual and incredibly snark-filled discussion about pop culture by five Frankie Hollywood 30-somethings. No name calling, no rudeness, just straight talk, and a lot of roleplay. I'm only 30-something for to film. I've got a lot of fun to film. I've got a lot of fun to film. I've got a lot of fun to film. I've got a lot of fun to film. I've got a lot of fun to film.

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