The Flop House - Episode #374 - Firestarter (2022)

Episode Date: July 16, 2022

Somehow one of the most boring movies we've EVER covered on the show + Dan recovering from Covid-19 = an especially raucous episode of The Flop House. We suddenly remembered that we could watch horror movies during months that AREN'T October, so we decided to make the ultimate sacrifice to watch Firestarter -- we signed up for Peacock. Did we regret it? Listen to find out!Wikipedia entry for FirestarterMovies recommended in this episodeNanny McPheeFire IslandThrough a Glass Darkly

On this episode we discuss Firestarter. That's right Firestarter, the movie that dares to... Awww. Shhh. Firestarter. He's so cute when he sleeps. Because it was so boring. Yeah. Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop out.

I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen, and two of the three of us are not in our normal location. Listeners, can you guess who it is? Can you figure it out? Can you figure it out? Can you use that? We can use the clues for the clues.

We can't. It's impossible. We can't even go to the clues. Do the math, baby. So what do we do on this here podcast? The answer was me and Stewart. We have Stewart or in different places. Yeah, yeah, I'm recording from my bedroom. Mm-hmm.

Oh, and Elliot, where are you? And I'm recording from my in-laws garage. The two sexiest places I can think of And I'm recording from my in-laws garage. Uh-huh. The two sexiest places I can think. I'm recording. There were places where magic happens. I'm recording from the same place in, you know, sort of spatially, but mentally, maybe a different place because, guys, this week, the COVID came for me. The COVID Oh, no. It me. Oh. I didn't know that already. Oh, that's terrible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I just want to suck up the sympathy because guys, I've only, I haven't seen anyone. You know, I need whatever sympathy I can get from you to anyway. Yeah, it's not, you know, it's okay. I think the hardest part was you, you mentioned to me that you lost your sense of smell, and I just feel like now you're not gonna know what the rock is cooking, which is terrible.

I know. True, yeah. You can't smell what the rock is cooking. You don't know what it is. Is it boyabase? You don't know. Yeah. Is it beef, well, you can?

It could be. We don't know. It could be one big egg. You don't know. It's one big ostrich egg. If the rock wants to pick me up and wrap me up in what phylo dough puff pastry and cook me. Yeah. Why not? Let's do it. Let's go nuts. Well, I can take at least one reason why not. But, um, yeah, we take a lot of

love. Yeah. Mr. The Rock. True. Thank you. I have been expanding. It is vegan though. Did you know that puff pastry is vegan? Because it's yeah, but then when you wrap it in a wrap beef in it, it doesn't really. It's it's it's soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a stew beef. Um, yeah, well, as you can tell, I, I'm on the mend. I'm still pretty tired, but I'm not not doing too poorly. So don't, did you get your, uh,

Jason smell back yet, buddy? I think I feel like I'm smelling things a bit more today, although Audrey earlier was like, could you close the garbage? Do you not smell that? And I just like, you know, I just kind of reflexively said, yeah, oh yeah, I smell like, because, you know, I've just been told to do something reasonable, uh, close

the garbage. But that was a lot. So I say, yeah, even though a marriage is built on honest communication, you lied to her and said you did smell the garbage. Yeah. Uh, well, that was like kind of aggracing the wheels, thoughtless, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then she's like, I asked because of your, your, your, your COVID. And I'm like, Oh, you know what? I can't smell it. So that that garbage tank. Or did you get? Did you get

a manager to mirror the relationship dynamic of the boy and girl in the opening of Gio, the Junji Eto graphic novel where she is bothered by the death stench creeps. And he is like, what's wrong with you? Little do we know she ends up dying horribly and he just runs around with all these dense death stench creeps around. You know what I'm talking about? I do not. So they're, they're, they're like, what you're on on mechanical legs. I just, I love, I want to hear more about this. I just want to plant the image in our, in our listeners minds of when Dan went when Dan said That he had not smelled the garbage. I imagined Audrey saying Dan. Can you close the garbage?

Don't you smell that and him looking down and realizing he was eating out of the garbage can at that moment? With a fork and a knife just like in front of the TV. It was like the last boys when I looked at him eating maggots Delicious fried rice, but it's back. We're like, hook. Suddenly, you noticed that there was, now that you had the power of imagination again, you saw the garbage in there. Whereas before, when you were grown up with no imagination, it was empty. So, let's talk about a piece of media that we all saw for the beginning of our show.

What you do on this podcast? Yeah, what you do on this podcast? It's interesting that we're comparing lost boys and hook because they both have, they both have Peter Pan references This is a podcast where we watch a movie that was a critical or a commercial flop and then we talk about it and Firestarter certainly and occasionally provide a forum for people's feelings about to be Kansas occasionally. Yeah, not as much in the last few episodes, but very much for a few episodes before that. This was a movie that was released at theaters.

We saw it on peacock where it was released to streaming, I think at the same time, a real show of confidence that, yeah, I think it's born out by the movie, but we can talk about it. So, wait, it was really still in one of the actual movie theaters. I think that, you know, one could, at one time, go to a movie theater and say, I would like two tickets, please, for Firestarter 2022 starring sack afra i think what dance i i heard from you when i did the situation the person the ticket taker said uh are you sure are you sure you don't have covid and yeah yeah you want to go home and light out

is it possible that you can't smell this movie a block away sure no not to see it i think i think when when dance has released in theaters maybe he just means that nowadays with Is it possible that you can't smell this movie a block away? And no, not to see it. When Dan's has released in theaters, maybe he just means that nowadays with people's home television and streaming setups and stereo, what's the difference between home viewing and stereo viewing anymore and theater viewing, you know, what's the difference now?

There is none, right Dan? That's what you meant. Yeah. Yeah, I believe also when you went up to the ticket ticker, you said, could I buy two tickets? Now, I was wondering, you're church. It's a fair, but it does. Oh, okay. We're doing a different bit. Okay, that's fine. So what do we do on this spot? No, no, no, I mean, I did that. I mean, we do pretty much

what we're doing now is we, we also, we each have a different bit that we stampede over the other one. Yeah, here's the thing I'm I Are we doing something new where we like wait for one another's bits because I've been trained by Elliott to just Jump in with whatever bit I have finally learning you're finally learning and I'm very proud of you dad He will continue with his bit But you're taking the bit and going home. It seems like Someone goes to the theater they asked for two tickets to fire starter. Uh, and the person says, uh, this is actually streaming exclusively on peacock and it's registering at 11% on

rotten tomatoes. And you're like, I guess whatever, fuck it. So the movie opens with a baby sucking on a tip. Oh, okay. We see this couple with a baby. We get some baby on view perspective. Then the baby uses this movie called lactation starter. What's going on here? Exactly. Well, we actually, the fire starts pretty quick because the baby looks at the mobile and then all of a sudden it catches on fire.

No wait, that's just a bad dream. The dad, Zach Aferon, is having it. Now if that's a dad bod, sign me up. Look at those abs, dad abs. Do not trust a grown man with abs. Let me tell you, okay, where was it all dream? So Zach Efron's a dad of that. What?

He's concerned with his daughter, Charlie. A dad, if you will. Mm-hmm. He's concerned about his daughter, Charlie. She has her own concerns about using powers or something. So it tries to distract her by looking at different things around the room, kind of like, kind of like Kaiser Soze exercise, right? Where you like just look around the room. Yeah, I think so.

Now, I think things from around the room. Yeah. This is an actual anti-exhide exercise, though, just like it's supposed to ground you in the place and current moment that you're in to just sort of look around and name things. So I assume that like the idea is yeah, yeah, she's calming herself down by doing this. Not knowing that as people, you know, who I don't know, don't look into anxiety techniques might not is kind of an odd thing to happen. Yep.

Yep. I'm guessing yeah, I was born out of actual research into anti-anxiety stuff and not one viewing of the usual suspects. Okay. Let's see. I mean, watching the usual suspects. Okay. Let's see. I mean, watching the usual suspects is a big part of anti-exit therapy, though. I don't know. It's pretty stressful.

So we get some opening credit. Especially when there's so much Kevin Spacey on screen, which is extremely anxiety inducing. The opening credits are played over kind of like a grainy interview of both Zach Efron and the actors who plays the mom of this baby. So dad and mom, but back when they were in college, so they have like, they show hair. Sydney lemon is the actress Sydney lemon. Sydney Lumet and you met you may never remember from the series, Hellstrom, the briefly existing series.

What's is that based on... Is that related to Backstrom? Is that, are they related to those two? No. No. And whereas I was going to say is that based on the character, Darius, Hellstrom, from the Deadlands, Robling game. So, it was based on the character, Damon Hellstrom,

from the Marvel. I was pretty close. So they were participating in an experimental drug test in college. And it's like grainy video footage and it includes footage of the experiment going poorly and eyeballs are getting knocked down to the floor like it's at the fucking double-ducing roadhouse. Now, the most exciting thing, of course, is not the eyeballs on the floor, but when you see in the opening credits that we are going to have an appearance by Kurt Woodsmith, Romero Bucket,

bitches, Lee Lee. Two names in the credits that made me excited Kurt Woodsmith when I thought he had more of a role in the movies. We hear his voice over during the credits and the fact that John Carpenter and his son did the music for the movie. Yeah, yeah, working overtime. I would yeah, let's I mean, and the score is pleasant enough. I would say it is, it does not rank with the work he did for his own movies. But I'm glad that the man has a source of income in his twilight years. There's some moments later in the movie where we get a little bit of synth that where I'm like, yeah, this is a John Carpenter score. But yeah, otherwise it's not, it's not exactly his, what's his, what's more inspiring works?

You know, or in. Or in. John Carpenter down rather. He. Yeah. Raising it up. I feel like. Yeah, it feels like he, he, like, took like a 10 minute break to crank out some music in

between marathon Elden Ring game sessions. Okay. So, let's see. Now, Andy, that's Zach Efron's character's name is Andy. He is running a kind of like candy. Yeah. He eats it whenever he can.

Yeah. If it's handy, he give him some candy His favorite actress Jessica Tandy We have to assume that at one point he was pretty a Randy because he has a daughter and he thinks the boy is Randy Okay, so let's see bits are done. Let's go back to okay No, okay, so let's see bits are dumb. Let's go back to okay. So he's running. I mean Stuart the bits the bits are the podcast You look angry every time a bit starts and I'll tell you something You know as great as you are people aren't tuning in to have the Wikipedia like synopsis of a firestarter red to them. They're here for the bit guys

of a fire starter, a red to them. They're here for the bit. Guys, this is gonna be the last episode of a podcast. I'm sick of the shit. So Andy is running a kind of, under the radar quitting smoking therapy program, where he uses telepathy to fix people's urge to smoke cigarettes and he only charges them $100 cash,

though, no credit cards. No, it's very funny because he's he says this woman he goes just talked to he goes it's a it's like you know start seeing me and all cure you and she's like I don't know a hundred dollars a session is pretty expensive just do this first one me we'll see what happens any hypnotizer goes you don't like smoking you think smoking's bad it tastes gross to you and she's like I feel better already and I only have eighty dollars give to you. And she's like, oh, I feel better already. And I only have $80, give it to me. And it's like, what was he gonna do the other sessions?

Like I was just gonna say, you're asleep now. And then just read for a while or like play on his Nintendo Switch until it's time for her to go. Yeah. I mean, I don't think he actually plans a second session unless, I mean, he can do whatever he wants. Why doesn't he just be like, yeah, I don't care about your smoking. You're just going to give me $100.

That's true. That's true. But then that's probably why it's good that a person like me doesn't have access to superpowers. But those powers don't seem that super because using his powers are physically draining. It makes his eyes go a little wonky and what like blood come out of his eyeballs. They bleed. Yeah, they bleed because that's crazy. That's, that's not good. You should know.

No. Yeah, I would say go to a doctor. I mean, if you can't, if nothing else, it makes it very hard to see you're blood in your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's only one situation where it's good to have blood shooting out of your eyes.

And that's when you're a horned lizard and and it's your way of scaring off predators, and it's not actually blood, but it looks like it. And Zach Efron, I hate to break it to you, you are not a horned lizard. If that blood's coming out of your eyes, I want you to see a doctor immediately, but not that doctor played by Kurt Wood Smith who pumped you full of experimental drugs

until you had psychic powers. That's not something you want. I don't know, he has pretty good vibes, as we'll see later. And also when he uses powers, the camera goes all wonky, which is one of the many camera techniques this movie uses that I feel like are thrown in there to make up for. Guys, this movie seems like it has a low budget. Am I just, am I guess

it? Yeah. Yeah. It was a, it was a $12 million movie. And you got to believe a, a, a Zac Efron, though, not, you know, one of the brightest stars in Hollywood's firmness for meant surely did not come for cheap. No. So, yeah if you want hurt what Smith, you're laying out a fair amount of green. Yeah. So what's his day rate? There's a lot of do half of that. This movie takes place on a lot of shadowy halls, whether they be the shadowy halls of a school that the kid is in or later on the shadowy halls of the institute, the evil government institute that they certainly save a lot of money on lights with this movie. But it's, but you're right. It's a movie that it's surprising to see the budget as, as 12 million on the Wikipedia

page, because it does look very, it looks very indie. It looks very, yeah. Well, it looks cheaper than like a CW superhero show. Yeah, I think that's fair. And it has less incident than a CW superhero show. It has significantly less incident, but just as many abs. Okay, so now we kept Charlie who is in school and she's not on the grid. She doesn't use Google, she's poor, she's a little weird. She gets stressed by the kids incessantly bullying her, which of course we know is just them not being able to handle their own feelings toward her because they think she's cool.

And then she gets stressed. I don't know if that's really what bullying is. And then that's a nice way to look at it. The room starts to heat up and then she has to use her coping mechanism. Yeah, so we know this is this kids a fire starter. I mean, that's the whole point of it, right? But they like the movie kind of, yeah, the movie kind of drags it along.

Yeah, this is, this is, we saw the old movie fire starter, so we know that we wrote the books. This, this is one of those movies and there's a lot of horror and science fiction movies that are like this that are trying to keep alive the mystery of exactly what's going on with the character. When the title tells you what's going on with the character

and the basic premise of the movie that you know walking in tells you the time. That's a good one. That's an IP that has existed from the 80s. Yeah, like at the end of Iron Man, where Tony Stark says, I am Iron Man, I'm like, no shit, that's the name of the movie dude I mean that's not exactly

We just watched you be Iron Man for a whole movie. I'm just so you be in it. Tell me something I didn't know dip shit Cinema score F minus Uh, you know there's somebody who watched the movie who was like someone's got to explain this movie to me And then that the end He goes I am I am Ironman and the audience man went oh And then just slow-clapped and Stuart leans over to Charlie and says that's Iron man. That's Iron man And she's like these Iron man, but Iron Monger is technically more iron and

He's bigger which might make him the man. Shouldn't he be iron kid? Well, that's a story for another day. Let's go. So, um, it goes, okay, so now I went to see Iron Man 2, but there was only one Iron Man in the movie where was the other Iron Man. I mean, they're understand. Iron man's because war machines and addressed up like Iron Man. Oh, okay, fair point for point.

Okay, but in Iron Man 3, there's again, just two Iron Men, Iron Man and War Machine. What's going on? There's a lot of Iron Men and I have a lot of Iron Man. There's a lot of Iron Man costumes. There's not a lot of Iron Men. Okay, that's okay. He's got you, Dan.

Okay, let's see. Okay, now I went to see Avengers Age of Ultron. They never told us how old Ultron was. I want to know because if he's always he looks great. He's taken good care of himself. Oh yeah. Okay. Let's see. So mom, mom tries to comfort Charlie. Parents are kind of unsure how to parent this kid. They don't know whether they should keep her powers repressed or train them. Zach Efron is against training. Mother wants to train them. Yada Yada. Back at school, the boy keeps bullying her. So she goes to hide in the bathroom. She also gets hit in the back of the head with a dodgeball, which obviously dodgeball sucks.

It's a shitty thing. The kids are forced to play, but she did kind of turn her back on the other team. So like, I mean, of course, she's going to get hit. I'm glad you're seeing both sides. Yeah. Yeah. Both sides of the kid getting hit in the head with a touch ball. Look at it. Oh, and I'll push back a little bit. Like, even as a, even as a nerd who had no physical prowess and would get hit by a dodgeball rather than

get anyone out by dodgeball, I would much rather play dodgeball than so many other things before. Oh, better than shuttle runs, that's for sure. Oh, man. Or like just like general running. Like, let's, let's, yeah, put that away, please. We're silo running when you got to go up into space. And you got to have you, those little robots.

We're running for a huge garden. We're cool runnings for something. We're running for a huge, pretty big boxled team. Yeah. Look, I'm just a kid. How am I supposed to coach the Olympic team? I've never even played. I want to back up because you mentioned

their parenting styles. And I just want to say that not only do this movie, we get into it, eventually not make me sympathize much, much with this young girl. Even though I know that, like, look, she's a, she's a child. She can't control herself, but she also does end up murdering quite a few people. She's in pretty strong control that fire when she murders all those people. Yeah. Yeah, but also Zach Efron's parenting style is like Terrible. He's like she's just got a she's got to she got to push down all of those emotions She's got to push them all down and then she can handle her fire starting and like dude. This is not gonna work

No matter how many things you lighten into the room you name, this is gonna end there. Yeah, yeah. Well, and as this, we'll see. Yeah, it's not like the movie's called Fire Non-Starter. Am I right guys? Well, his parenting style towards this pyrokinetic daughter.

It has big, okay, date whoever you want, just don't tell grandma vibes to it. Just kind of like, if you just pretend you're the girl that we want and not this, and not this fire starter, then we'll be okay. But I say, there's so little, there's so little emotion in all these scenes. And he and his wife are arguing over how to, how to best deal with the fact that their daughter has this enormous deadly power inside of her. And it seems like there's roughly the level of intensity

that my wife and I have when she asks me if there's anything special I want her to make for dinner that week, and that because she's about to go to the grocery store, and I'm like, I don't know, I can't think of anything at the moment. And she really wants me to say something, and then I say chicken marsala again,

and she reminds me we just had that. Like that's the level of intensity, I feel like they're having. There's not, it's not no marital friction, but it's not as much as you'd expect for the situation. And it's also, and also Zach Efron is a performer that I have enjoyed in the past. Like I think he can be perfectly like a charming guy,

but I think he's at his best when he came lean into the performer side of it and the charming side. This is a part that just has him be sort of emotionless and steely and he is not able to bring anything of interest to it. Like it is the lead characters in this movie across the board are just personality free ciphers. But sorry, what were you saying, sir? I was just going to say that one of the things about it is that like we have these two

characters who met in college, they had, you know, and through the result of this experiment they got superpowers. And then they probably against, probably their better judgment had a child together. And I feel like there should be like, to me, that symbolize that they have like a passionate connection that went beyond the like good sense of, you know, the good sense of like, maybe we should, we have these weird superpowers. Maybe we should take it easy. And there's no passion between these two people.

Yeah, I actually was waiting for the moment where the movie reveal that they were not her parents and that they had like escape from that facility with her when she was a baby and had just kind of taken on the role of her parents because there's so little connection between the two of them. But I gotta say, it's hard to keep the romance alive when you've got a kid who can start fires with their mind. So maybe that's just a big part of it. It's hard to be a sexy. The fires in the bedroom go out. When the kids lighting fires with their mind,

the fire in your loins extinguishes. And it's hard to feel sexy when at any moment your child could walk in and light you on fire. It's just hard to feel that, you know, it's hard to lose that control, you know, just making a wish. So, you know, Charlie's in school, she gets hit by a thing, she gets stressed out and runs away, she goes to the bathroom, teacher follows, she turns all the water in the bathroom to steam and then explodes the toilet. It's pretty cool. Then this would instantly make her the coolest kid in school. Yeah. If this was real life, I feel like. However, in this world, it gets her kicked out of school again. That would probably happen in real life too. In back at home, Charlie is a tantrum. Her mom tries to calm her down.

Her dad is a dick. And she accidentally, she accidentally roasts her mom a little bit. Her mom catches on fire and really fucks her arms up. It's gross. Just a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. This is, I mean, already in the movie, again, the kid is losing me a little bit. I understand a child can't control her

superpowers. It has a lot there tied to her emotions and she has a lot of emotions can't control. But and I'm certainly not advocating for some sort of shadowy government agency to come in and murder. But also, these parents seem ill equipped to handle this kid who is setting them on fire. And the movie does not necessarily do enough for me, like with these characters, to make me be like, gotta keep this family together and keep them safe. I'm just like, no, this is a dangerous weapon that's roaming around America.

But maybe that's me. I have a classic. I have my child. Classic liberal wanting the nanny deep state to take our kids away and teach them how to use their pyrochemicals. Well, later on, they have these inhibitor things that keep Zach Efron from using his power on them.

I'm just like, if there's that technology, can't we just get a little biser for a fire starter here? But that's our character. Can we have some sort of magic sock that keeps her powers? Yeah, you know. I'm just the idea, man. Yes. But you're right. You're building it.

The movie does a very poor job of arguing that she should not be taken by this shadowy government organization that I'm sure Stewart's going to get into soon when she is just roaming free with these terrible parents. You guys brought you. Did you guys say shadowy organization? Because guess what? There's a shadowy organization? Because guess what? There's a shadowy organization that is observing Charlie's school. And so they reach out to Rainbird, who is this cool

dude who has an unfinished fullback hangman tarot card tattoo. And he's like a like a killer fixer specialist guy. It looks like he's hanging out in a warehouse like he's about to be part of the freedom video. And Andy and Charlie, okay, so then he's like, they're like, oh, one last job. He's like, oh, man, fuck it. Andy and Charlie go out for ice cream to, you know, because she just roasted her mom. Her mom, Vicki, here's the first time in my notes, where a rotor name.

Well, you're making it sound like it's that she's being rewarded for roasting her mom. But this is to help her calm down, I guess. Yeah, although I think he gives her like rum raisin or some shit. They mentioned it later and I'm like, that sounds like a punishment. So Vicki tries to work. We're thinking about for ice cream. Yay. The worst ice cream.

Aw. I love rum raisin, guys. I'm not afraid to say it. Oh, good. I love rum raisin. I fly. Yeah. So Vicki tries to relax with her burned up hands than the cops show up and she talks to

the cop and then she gets attacked by Rainbird who is in their house. And it turns out that he was an early test subject. And he's there to bring the girl home and he can kill them or whatever. And what and what power did he get? Just super shooting power. I don't I don't know. Does he have power? Not clear. I think they talk about how he was part of the experiment. And I the implication is that he's like a super assassin because of what they did to him, but it doesn't clear what.

And he is one of those fixers they send to clean up messes. And when they do, he kills so many extra people. Yeah, he makes a way bigger mess. Yeah. Like it's like, we want you to go in and quietly eliminate this family. Right. Kill two dozen cops. Yeah.

You want to understand? Well, they're like, Rayne Bern. Can I say when you're wrote down there? Rainbird. Because I think they even make a comment like time for you to do what you do best or some shit. Yeah, he's very bad. I guess. Kill a bunch of people and make a huge mess. That's fine. Rainbird, rainbird, he come into my office. I come to my Kino intention. We sent you to take out one little girl and her parents and you took out an entire police department. That's what they told me to do. That was the job. Well, I was checking the slack channel, rainbird. We sent you to take out one little girl and her parents and you took out an entire police department. That's what they told me to do.

That was the job. Well, I was checking the Slack channel, Rainbird. And at no point does anyone talk about killing police. And except right here, it says, please don't kill any more police. It says it right here, Rainbird. I don't know. You don't know. I don't check the Slack channel.

It's like I already have my email. I've got to check something else too. That's actually a pretty good defense. Okay, Rainbird, that makes sense. That makes sense. The Slack channel has not worked out the way we thought it might for this secret government intelligence operations slash, slash shadowy science experiment. So yeah, so can I go now? I guess, yeah, you know what?

I guess you're employing them on Thrainbird. You did it. You did it. Uh, so speaking of our employee of the month, rainbird, he kills Vicki. He briefly takes Charlie hostage and then of course Charlie blasts him with fire and then she and Andy manage to escape. Hooray. Yeah.

The chief of the secret organization, Hollister, Captain Hollister visits like an asylum and talks to Kurt Wood Smith, who's making little piles of dust, like colored dust. And they basically talk about he doesn't have much of a hobby. Yeah. And they talk about the reality of dealing with a psychic child. And in some ways, they're being kind of reasonable, although, uh, Hollister wants to train Charlie, uh, which seems fairly reasonable, uh, not to, but she doesn't want to make like an army of them. She just wants to have this one kid not like set everything

on fire. And, and Kurt would smooth us like, nope, just kill her, just kill it. So much easier, just get rid of her. Uh, and then he's like, see you later, thanks for the paycheck, losers. Okay. So meanwhile while they're on the run, Charlie meets a cat and fucking just roasts the cat alive, but it's still alive. Yeah. So we're her dad. Not the strike against Charlie in my book. Yeah. Yeah. But the cat's still alive. So her dad makes her kill it. And the whole thing just fucking sucks. Like this scene sucks. I know that how it matters. I guess later in the script, but like, fuck this shit. I don't want to watch this garbage. You're saying your idea of entertainment is not watching a girl accidentally kill a cat. No. Yeah.

Well, accidentally fuck it up and then totally intentionally kill it. No thanks. No, okay. Now, wait, but let me, what if that cat was Busta for Jones? Oh. And he was singing. The cat about town. Yeah, cat about town loves to eat.

I don't want him to, I don't want Busta for Jones. We got to pick one of them. Then, then what about monk astrap? Is he okay for this? People like to strip. Okay. Rum tub, Tucker. No, he's super popular also. And then, and then to make the scene worse, they like prey over the dead cat. No, fuck that. This is garbage. Get this movie out of my eyeballs. Oh, wait, so, I started, started to kill the bit by talking about how this movie sucks sometimes. So then they trick an old man into giving them a ride.

And they trick someone such in such an unnecessary way where he's like, hey, can you give us a ride? I'll pay you $100 and the old man's like, okay. And then you see that he's actually holding a $1 bill and he's just using his psychic powers to make it look like $100 bill. And it's like, Zach Efron, come on, that's being petty. That's a petty use of your power. Come on. That's a bit from the book or the other movie though, right? Don't they like do something with a cabbie?

I feel like. I know. I don't remember. I still don't like it. No, it's, it's bad. Yeah. Uh, okay. So, uh, so they hang out on his farm for a little bit.

I wish, I wish he had gone all the way and he's like, I'll give you this $10,000 bill. I've never even seen one of those. Yeah, yeah, it's got Bill Murray on it. Like that. I'm very rare. Okay, so. I'll never believe you.

Yeah. Also, your hands are made out of ice cream. What? Okay, she better get out of the car. Let me drive She's in there melting you're going too far. Yeah, starts eating his own hands. We should do that. Yeah, we're terrible people. It's all right. We can do that. Okay. So Charlie goes exploring around this old farm and meets an old lady hooked up to a ventilator and then they have low psychic conversation. And they get to stay for a little while. The old man takes, takes it easy on him.

We're so we think. And then he, oh man, I don't know where this part is. Oh, Zach Efron tells a story about some creeps who tried to steal Charlie when she was a baby and how he used his powers to make the creeps kill each other. And that's why you shouldn't use your powers to kill people. Yeah, I, that's why you shouldn't use them to kill people. I see. Yeah, I mean, like, that's the thing. Look, I'm not going to get into like a deep comparison of the versions of Firestarter mostly because I don't know that I've seen the Drew bear more version all the way through.

It is also not a very good movie, although better than this. I have read the book. I mean, it is crazy that George C. Scott plays Rainbird in the old one. Yeah, a Native American character. Not correct to casting, but in, I mean, fire starter at least, like, the book, you know, gives you a real sense of how, like, this desperate love of the father for his daughter and everything that he'll do to protect her. And, but also, like, it seems like the characters in that book

are really about minimizing the harm that they do. Whereas I feel like the family in this movie just kind of blunder around the lot, hurting people. Or in this case, like, yeah, like deliberately killing people that, you know, I don't know, why does he just reach inside his mind and be like? We don't exist or what I mean, I don't know what the limits of his powers are, but it doesn't make me As sympathetic to them as I could be anyway instead of yeah, yeah, don't use your telepathy to make people blast each other and stop breathing

I mean, I will say I will say it is there is something I don't think this is it I don't need the movie pulls this off well But there is something kind of realistic about people getting these powers and being bad at using them Yeah, not and being screw ups and it not being like sure Oh, we're ultra cool. We have our ways of hiding But just because like if I had to hide my family suddenly from the government I do a pretty poor job of it I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not a spy So I think I could really, if it was a better movie, I would really relate to

these kind of morons bumbling around, not knowing how to get out of these dumb situations they get themselves into. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a story on the news about them. And it, you know, it kind of paints them in a negative light much Much as the movie has up to this point. And so the old man is watching the news and he decides that he's going to have to kick him out, but then they convince him not to kick them out. It's a very exciting scene. And then the cops show up and demand to see Andy and Charlie, the old man goes out to talk to him, and then Rainbird pulls out a sniper rifle

and starts sniping all the cops, and the old man, he's trying to draw. Or collateral damage. He's trying to draw it, Charlie out. Andy tries to stop Rainbird, but then collapses, and that buys her a little bit of time to escape. And then agents show up and try and track her down. Rain bird gets taken in to speak with

the boss because again, aforementioned massive collateral damage. That's these. He's the, this, this, what I, okay. So again, I'll say, if this is a better movie, I would like that nobody in the movie is really, really good at their jobs. Everybody in it is a terrible version. They're all terrible. Rainbird causes so much more trouble than he ever cleans up. The head of DSI, the Captain Hollister from TimeCop. She is doing a very bad job of running this kind of covert operation. You would submit this like, yeah, yeah, we gave those people psychic powers then we just let them go. They got away from us.

The parents don't know how to raise their kid. There's something about seeing a movie like this where no one is slick and everyone is incompetent or at least realistically semi-fairly, fairly, fairly nice. Yeah, it's like the Green Knight. Yeah. Well, I'm imagining a version of burn after reading with actual burning that. Well, you're talking. Excellent. Now you're talking, Dan, why are you not writing that right

now? All this such a good idea. Okay. I cast you in the oil. You call it fire, you call it fire stopper. Yeah. Speaking of fire stop, Charlie is doing the opposite because she is in the woods having like a Rambo montage of like training and setting things on fire. It's pretty funny. And then she decides when she's ready, she decides to leave the way she's like, I'm fucking done with this shit. I'm going to go kill that spider, grandma. So she goes walk and do the stuff. And some kids on bikes immediately start fucking with Charlie for some reason. And these are strangers, right? Yeah, they're just strangers. Like she just draws bullies

to her. Yeah. Like she's wearing bully attractant. And it's like, like she's just slathered herself and honey and walk through a bear's den all the time. And they just start making a little honey. Yeah. Bears love honey. They just And one said that poor bear. Did you see in the news the other day about that bear that painted itself black and then got a balloon and it pretend was pertained to be a rain clouds that could trick some bees into

giving it honey. Well, things did not end well for that bear. Well, what a sad news story. honey. Well, things did not end well for that, man. Well, what a sad news story. I thought it looked like rain, but so she used her psychic powers to she used those powers to steal a bike and a sandwich and some clothes from these from these bullies. Yeah. She did we know earlier that she didn't just have fire starting powers, but also had some of her like, dad's pushing abilities because she, yeah, she like, yeah, tricks these mental tricks, Jenna mind tricks these into letting her take the, I don't know if I can't remember if we knew that beforehand. Maybe she was just reading their micro expressions to get to like cold read them into giving her their stuff.

Like a real Brad Bradley Cooper. Yeah, yeah, she's limitless. Yeah. Cold read them into giving her their stuff. Like a real Bradley Cooper. Yeah, yeah, she's limitless. Yeah. And what you guys has disappointed as I was that the song Fire Starter was never played in the movie. Absolutely. A little bit. Yeah.

So she gets, I mean, she gets like a, like a dream or a mental projection from her father, giving her an idea where this facility is, right? Is that, that's what happens. So she, because my notes start to get spare as I got more tired and more bored by the movie. So she, she finds the facility and she, like, she starts taking out agents. I think the first one, she like corners in his car. And she's trying to interrogate him.

And then he like tries to pull a gun. And she like roasts the shit out of him. And then, but he's not dead. So she has to finish him off. And then she basically just starts walking through a facility roasting dudes. It's pretty gnarly. It's, you know, it's wild stuff. How how slow this movie is for so long.

And then in a wild rush to the end, this child just comes in and burns up the whole place. Yeah. The end, but not the end, but but you know, what I'm saying, yeah, there's still more for you to explain. I don't want to take your job away from me. Stu Dan is gunning for your position. Oh man. Yeah. Whoa. I have to look like happy. So it looks like it turns out that you're saying, Dan, if you're going after Stu with this summer, you best not miss because you won't get a second shot. Mm hmm. So yeah, Charlotte, it turns out Charlie was actually lured to the facility by a rainbird.

So maybe that's his psychic power. And so he, she finds her dad, her dad, and then like Hollister comes out and she's like, don't do it. If you roast your dad, you're going to roast me and he's like, just roast us both. And she's like, don't do it, if you roast your dad, you're gonna roast me and he's like, just roast us both and she's like, okay, fuck it. So they get, she roasts Hollister, she roasts her dad and then she like roasts a whole bunch of agents as she leaves, it looks like she's cornered.

No brain bird shows up in Savesr, that's crazy, I thought he was the bad guy. Well, she's roasting, yes, agents are just coming at her waves and then some people show up in fire protective suits. Oh, no, her power has been neutralized. You know what, those suits don't protect you from bullets to the head. And that's when rain. Yeah.

And she also disengages all the locks in the containment facility, which I was going to be really, I was really excited. I'm like, we're going to see all kinds of crazy psychic powers or maybe the monsters from cabinet and the woods are all going to show up. It's going to be great. You don't get that half-can half-chick and running around. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

So just a baby with baby with crab claws. Yeah. Amazing things. Charlie, Charlie stumbles out onto the beach. She and Rainbird are the only surviving escapees. And you know what? They just wander down the beach together forever end of movie. Q the song, fire starter.

Yeah. No, you they don't play the song. No, that was the disappointment. And this is it's the it's the famous story of a fire starter says, how come when I when I had times of trouble, there was only one set of footprints. And Rainbird says, that's when I was carrying you. That's the, that's the famous pair of months. Yeah.

So yeah, I mean, that's the summary. I think we bang that shit out super fast because there's not much to appreciate it. Like, it's a, no, there is not. You know, you know, we, we, a peak by the curtain, we're doing a couple tapings at the same time because I had to ask these guys to kindly move our tapings around because my parents were going to be in town for July 4th and their 59th wedding anniversary guys. But I only got to see them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw them briefly before I tested positive for COVID and then I said,

no, thank you, my parents, I don't want to get you sick. You're on your own. They had a lovely time and they work by themselves. But the point was, we were looking for something short for one reason and these double tapings, but I really appreciate the lack of incident in a fire starter considering how tired I am from being sick. It's just like, yeah, yeah, give it to, like it was a miserable experience watching, but I'm glad that nothing happens. Yes.

The, the, the feels very much like, came off quickly. Yeah. It feels a lot like they just shot the outline to the movie and said, we'll feel this in later. Wait, we made the movie already. Oh no. Oh boy. It honestly feels a little bit like a like a pilot for the, for a fire starter TV show that they like when it wasn't going to get picked up, they like just went back and like shot a couple extra things like shot her dad getting roasted and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't surprise me. It has a it has a real USA original series

feel to it. Yeah. Throughout. And I mean, yeah, it's a fun, specific entertainment where everyone's on bikes. Yeah. And like, what was that? What's, what didn't Amazon do a series based on that Hannah movie? So it's the same kind of shit, right? You got a little magic girl who does stuff and blows people up. That's what Hannah's about, right? Well, or she is sputtle, like a video or something. What's the secret to it?

It's a sequel to Hannah Montana. Uh huh. Or it's a dark reimagining. We're instead of being a normal girl who's also like a big superstar. She's a normal girl who's also a super assassin, but still performs country music. That makes sense.

Let's get into final judgments because they're already, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, a movie kind of like, I'm gonna start off my assessment by saying like, I both understand and don't understand why they would do Firestarter at this point. I like that paradox that you just presented with. Please untangle it. So I understand why they do Firestarter because it's know, it's a, it's a known, it's a property with name rep ignition. It's an old movie that was not done well the first time. So there's

room for improvement. And hey, stranger things is big. 11 from stranger things. That's basically like Firestarter style, you know, super powered, young girl, evil government project, yeah, all this stuff. They're like, so that's why they thought, hey, yeah, let's do Firestarter. It's also why I find it so bad for the Firestarter because this movie's lunch has been so thoroughly eaten by everything that has come since the writing of the book Firestarter kicked off like this whole like type of thing anyway like there's been so many of these things and this brings nothing New to it. I have

Net like this is quite possibly the most boring movie we've watched for the flop house to the degree that I was Not only angrily texting you guys about it, I was also angrily texting all of my other friends basically who watch movies because it was the only thing that could keep me engaged. I was so, like I usually pride ourselves in doing a show Like, I usually pride ourselves in doing a show with our premise and not being mean about things, but I just hate it. I'm experiencing watching the stamp thing.

Maybe it's because I was sick, I don't know, but I didn't like it at all. It's a bad movie. I'm the picture of health, and I felt similarly. I was so, I find it so incredibly boring and so incredibly dull that I usually don't do this with flop house movies, even though we watch a lot of stuff that I don't really enjoy.

This is one of the few times we're watching it. I was just thinking about other movies. I could be watching during that time, like other things I could be doing during that time. And it just, it's one of these movies that makes you think about how there's only so many grains to sand in the hour glass people. You got, you got, you got a, you got a limited amount of time on this earth. And so why am I spending it watching fire started? Now again,

I was doing dishes at the same time. So it's not like I wasn't totally making use of that time. Those dishes need to be cleaned. We eat off them. We have a limited supply of dishes in my house. If they get dirty, we can't just stop using them. We can't go out and buy new dishes every time we need clean dishes. I've got to watch them, but I could be watching something more meaningful than fire starter. So I'm also going to say it's a bad thing movie or doing nothing. If you sat with your thoughts, it would be more productive than watching fire starter by far, by far. Sure. Sorry. So this, yeah, worse than doing nothing, raves to him.

The client. There's, you know, in the, like, at kind of not, definitely not the height of the pandemic, but at some point during, you know, where I guess we're still in the pandemic, my wife and I went to a hotel and in order to get a drink at the bar, we had to order food. And one of the food item was like a hummus and vegetables. And it was like the saddest like Styrofoam tray with hummus and like a few baby carrots on it. It was like there is, there is no love present at all on that plate. And I feel like that's kind of the same thing with this movie. Like

sure, some of the people involved are talented, but there was no, it did not feel like anybody involved had any, there was no passion. And if there was passion, it was not on the screen. It's, yeah, I mean, it's, it's so dull and feels so pointless. I mean, a single episode of Stranger Things costs more than this movie. It is inert. This movie is inert. There's no motion inside this movie. If you cracked it open, there's just more nothingness. Anyway.'s no motion inside this movie. If you cracked it open, there's just more nothingness. Anyway, so yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, not bad.

This is a bad bad, yep. BAD BAD Yep. Hi, I'm Janet Varney. And just like you, I survived high school. And we're not alone. On my podcast, The JV Club, I invite some of my friends to share the highs and lows of their teen years, like moments with Aisha Tyler. But when you're a kid, the six are just pretty low, go to school, try not to get in trouble,

get laid. Jemila Jemila. I watched television probably every waking hour during that time and I was sh**t faced on medicine and Dave Holmes. We talked and talked and then everybody laughed at us just as too and I was like, I love you. Learn how you too can be a functioning adult after the drama and heartbreak of high school. Every week on the JV Club with Janet Farney, find it on Maximum Fun. Or wherever you get your podcasts, this is a judgement free show. Hi, I'm Fizz, host of One Bad Mother. Whether you're a parent or just no kids exist in the world, join us each week as we honestly share what it's like to be a parent.

I signed my stepson up for a camp that is actually in another state. I feel really stupid and I don't think we're going to get the money back. And then you found out that the car manual is a book about cars, so now he's reading our car manual. We ha ha, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, there will be swears. Hey, let's talk about our sponsors. Stuart, I believe you have a message from one of our generous sponsors. Now, unfortunately for the characters and fire starter, they were given a macro dose of high-strength psychedelics which brought out their psychic powers. Instead, what I'm going to talk about today is microdosing. So you've probably heard about microdosing.

And if not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and perform better. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies. Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. I'm a user of microdose gummies. I find them to be a great way to relax and also maybe to wipe out the the feelings of discomfort from watching the movie fire starter. They help me do creative projects. The big thing for me is that it helps me sleep,

which is nice helps me wind down at the end of a day and turn my brain off. So you, microdose gummies are available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code flop to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in our shown description, and again, that's microdose.com code flop. We're also sponsored in part by Squarespace,

which is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You can stay in that with a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything. That's products, content you create, even your time with Squarespace. Squarespace helps you create pro-level videos effortlessly. The Squarespace Video Studio app helps you make and share engaging videos to tell your story, grow your audience and drive sales. You can sell your products on an online store, whether you sell physical or digital products, Squarespace has the

tools you need to start selling online, and of course all websites are optimized for mobile. It would be nutty at this point if they were not optimized for mobile content automatically adjusts so your site looks great on any device. So why not go to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, this first letter is from Jill Last Name Withheld, who writes, Lovely Peaches, really enjoyed your last ep on Death on the Nile,

okay? And the discussion on changing stories, slash characters, and I wanted to send a line on my personal frustration, Agatha Christie purposefully wrote, Urkul Paro to not have an interest in sex or romance. We get so little asexual and aromantic representation and makes me super sad to see that they change it, especially in such a lazy way. So I was hoping y'all might suggest some good asexual or aromantic stories to watch instead of being sad about another retconned plural.

Keep on flopping in the free world, Jill last name with help. Well, of course, you can turn to the other major detective in the English canon for all accounts. And Cyclopee of Brown. Oh. Cyclopee of Brown. Cyclopee of Brown.

Oh, although he is often also retcons to be in love with Irene Adler, the character who he merely admires in the story, the one story she appears in, but you can find plenty of home stories that don't involve her. Also, there's a little, there's a, you know, there's some stories that involve a lot of fellowship and the exchange of rings. But without a lot of Mm-hmm. Holds. Uh, it's called Green Boys, turning the panel. Green Boys. But it feels like, okay, we're making Lord the Rings, but we gotta, we gotta make it modern. We gotta make it hip and edges.

We're calling it, Ring Boys with a Z. It's like on to Raj, but in Middle-Earth, anyway, so here's Frodo, he's kind of the, he's kind of the E of the group. Uh, although Sam, I guess, is kind of the E of the group, then there's Mary and Pippin, they're both kind of the E of the group, and, the, although Sam, I guess is kind of the e of the group. Then there's Mary and Pip and they're both kind of the e of the group and then golem. He's like

turtle. Anyway, ring boys. You know, all those jokes reminded me that we did that live show on the entourage movie, but I have no memory of what happens in that movie. All I remember in the movie is just a bunch of naked people dancing. I remember, I remember the only scene I remember is the scene from Vince, Vince's direct oil debut, that futuristic version of Dr. Jacqueline, Mr. Hyde, where it's like a rave scene and it looks so dumb and so bad. And the rest of the movie is about what a brilliant movie that is and then it wins the golden glow. Well, yeah. Man, I was having a good movie. Any good non-romance-focused movies? There's a lot of movies without romance obviously,

but movies with a strong relationship between people that don't have, I don't know, don't feel the need for a romance. Man, now my brain is not working. That's all right. We talked some of them. Yeah, movie. Yeah, a movie that, I mean, it depends on what kind of movie you like to watch

is the thing. I find that a lot of the movies that I know that don't have romance, I was like, romance, which is not how people pronounce that. Romance, I can laugh. That, a lot of the movies that I can think of that don't have romance are like guys on a mission movies. If it's like the dirty dozen, there's that one scene when they dance with those English

women, but that's about it, or like the good, the bad and the ugly, or dark of the sun, which is a movie about mercenaries in Africa. I don't know if that's kind of a movie you're looking for, but there's a lot of that kind of movie. But also, if you can put up with Kevin Spacey in your movie, there's the movie Margin Call, which is about the 2008 financial crisis. And it has the most boring trailer I had ever seen for a movie.

The trailer was just people talking about financial stuff and I was like, all these big-name stars and this movie looks so dull. And then I watched it and I was like, no, this is a gripping movie. This movie is really good. And I don't think there's any romance in that. And surprisingly, for a movie about the financial industry, no scenes with lap dancing in them,

which normally the movies make you think that that's all that they do when they're not just ripping off everyone else in America. But other than that, I mean, there's lots of documentaries that don't have romance in them, like if you want to watch Harlan County, USA, which is about a minor's strike, you know, that's a great movie. There's no romance in it. I will say, for me, that's one of the key appeals of breaking bad and even more better call Saul is that I feel like that

they that romantic relationships and like sex very rarely, if never seems to be a driving force for these characters and particularly in better call Saul where you have like two characters who are married, but there's like the I like their love is not the the drive of the show like they're this like comfortable married couple which I find very like I find something very pleasant about it like two characters who are just really comfortable together. And it not being an issue like not being this like whirlwind romance thing, but I don't know it's not quite the same thing, but it's all this talk. It made me think about. No, I like that. I mean, there's no, I mean, there's, I mean, there's no, I mean, you can watch Aliens.

No, I mean, Aliens doesn't have any romance in it. There's a little bit of sexuality around the xenomorph, which is a horrifying vision of sex gone wrong, but I don't know if that's the same thing. I mean, the movie Dragon Slayer doesn't have any romance. It's okay. And I just dragonheart now that I think of it. I don't know. I mean, I have to check the tape.

I have polished. I said we're dumb. Hey, this is Matthew. I want to say less, less dumb and more just didn't have a lot of time to research than think about the question. Matthew last name with held writes in. Lillard. I have to say so.

Well, he let's see. He does sign his letter wing commander. I think yeah, it is. Oh, shit. Hello, Dan. I hope this finds you well. Elliot's seemingly endless list of discrete concepts from the mini episode, Flop House, the movie got stuck in my head. It was intolerable. I attribute its catchiness to its chaos, the mind exhausts itself, churning through the list again and again, desperately searching for any hint of a pattern. It has haunted the dusty corridors of my dome for too long, so I've rearranged your nonsense and organized it into a fucking narrative. So there, huh? I won. It's now a vacation anthem. Love the show. I'm currently named cool video James or buck think formerly known

as Scott Dracula cosmic rays or formally, formally. I don't I don't know why I do it. I'll be puzzling out that last sentence for a long time. Yeah. revenge is served. So that's served. Okay, so this is a reference to a song that he sent. Now, we're not that good at this. We're going to figure out some way that we can all listen to this song. And because Elliott and Stewart will be hearing it for the first time. And Alex, you drop the song in here. It's gonna be great when Dangers of visit LA in LA. I think that would be really cool to the new of the kids have seen yet. I think it's quite a buildup.

The new of the kids have seen yet. The new of the kids have his auntfishes never in stock shoes in there. Well, it's not. But rockets, not all the time. I'd like to hear from you. I don't feel like there's that much of a narrative. I'll be fine. You, I, you, from there, you, and the cops, and you, and the neighbors made a trip.

I truly understand Alzheimer's. Those must have come to come, and they love me, and some of the stuff that's in there. There are like, fours, there are like, in the closet, some things, and they're... I think that was really cool. Something new for the kids. Have a scene yet. Something new for the kids. Have a scene yet. Something new for the kids.

It's going to be great when Dangers his at LA in LA. I guess I can talk about like, going peeps and creeps. I know that we had a sick bag of sick walktops, he's been there in the max, sick of interests, plastic hours, all the hook-up and whole covers, contemporary tattoos, that's just like a tiger, it's the day with the clouds, it's worked for the first Halloween time, it's a little bit of a bunch of fun, what do you put on a chain of flashlight and not to mention? I'm gonna be the great with Dangers to visit Elliot in LA. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys.

Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips, you guys. Get some tips With lots of multi-colored colors on it It's the grass The loudness is enough

Loves about the fingers That they can help out Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page

Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page Bell and page I'm so glad to have you with me. Yeah, help give birth to that art. I take issue with the idea that there's now a narrative attached to those words. But I have a question. It's like that guy. Do you guys, is that the kind of music you guys just listen to around the house while you're

doing things? I wouldn't say I generally like put it on. I was definitely singing this at least with the chorus. I don't remember any of the verse. I'll remember something about the gloves with no fingers so they can handle change. I'm pretty old fashioned actually. When I'm around the house, if I'm going to be listening to music, it's always old time rock and roll by Bob Seeger.

I'm always just my underpants and sunglasses. And a button down shirt. And a button down shirt. Yeah, because it's, you know, what if company comes over? That's the thing. The wildest shit is the fact that he's wearing socks. So he can slide on the floor. Still it's bonkers.

Yeah, that shit's wild. Good news to everyone. I just got a word from my dad that they're frequently delayed flight. Got them home after their trip out to New York to not really see me. So I thought I thought you can say good news. My dad just called me just said it's a number one hit in Germany. That's all you just said. Yeah, let's go to the video.

But we couldn't. Because you're a video if you want to make one, go ahead. Do it. Uh, why not? Because you're in a video if you want to make one go ahead do it Why not so somebody somebody in the Netherlands is gonna be walking around with that is their ringtone And I'm gonna be very excited about it. Yeah, yeah, so that was that was great. Thank you for that man. That was great Thank you Let's move on through this uncharacteristically

tight episode of the flop house and recommend a movie you should definitely watch instead of spending your time on the remake of Fire Starter. Or even the original of Fire Starter, for that matter. Even the original. So I'd like to say yesterday was the 4th of July. Is getting a record of it born on the 4th of July. No, I mean, I have no particular affinity for the holiday less so this year where I am deeply dissatisfied by many things in the country. But I do have an attachment to the day July 4th because that was the day last year that I got

engaged and during July 4th was the day you got engaged. That's also the day I got engaged. Really? Yeah, not the same. We talked about this last year. Yeah, we did. Anyway, while during my recovery from being sick, Audrey and I had like a nice little Audrey and I had like a nice little Fourth of July Double feature where we each picked a movie to watch We watched My movie was inside Louis Davis, which I thought she would like She did

She liked you very much and I was introduced to a movie from her childhood. Nanny McFee, not her childhood. I mean, but like a movie that I was not familiar with. It's okay, Dan, you can talk about how you have a child, bride. She's younger than me, but not so much younger that Nanny McFee would be anyway.

But like she shared a movie with me from her childhood, Firestarter 2022. Yeah, yeah. I didn't have any idea what to expect out of this movie. I was like, mm, anime fee. I'm an adult person and I heard mixed reviews for this film. But I think that often with a movie that's like a family or a kids movie that gets mixed reviews,

like something like 90 McFee is a very like retro style, kids movie, it is explicitly sort of riffing on Mary Poppins, but in sort of a darker way, it's got kind of a more of a Raldall feeling. I know it's based on, there's like a series of nurse Matilda books in England from the 60s, but it's got that sort of kind of British Raldall vibe to it, and I think that... So she does my like to wish people.

Yeah, often with it, often when those movies are new, critics are hard on them because they're comparing them to some sort of fantasy version of a childhood favorite of theirs. of like a childhood favorite of theirs, whereas once some time has passed, time flattens out and everything in the past is just part of the past and you don't feel like the need to hold things to this weird standard anymore. And this is all just a very like not concise way of saying that I enjoyed it. It was very silly.

It had a lot of laughs. Like it was just a goofy. No. I mean, I'm a top. And obviously, Nanny McVee, but I was waiting for it. I was waiting for it. I did not disappoint. You have Colin Firthett. And most importantly, you have Angela Landsbury in it as just as sort of the way Elaine Held is brought there for a second. Angela Lancebury as a Dowager aunt who is deliberately sort of like both in the way she is dressed and the

prosthetic beak-like nose made up to look like a like a hen, a chicken that is wandered into the movie. So she's playing a chicken that is wandered into the movie. And I don't know, she's playing the chicken, as she's playing Mark McIntyre's Chicken Lady character. We're getting lost. Basically, basically, guys, I may have reached to the point at which I can no longer talk correctly. So you guys gotta take over, because I think that that was just a garbled word salad. So when you guys decided to do this double feature and she gave her choice, did you immediately like run over to letterboxed or rotten tomatoes

and be like, let me just double check with the critics are thinking about this one. I only say that because there's definitely sometimes where when Charline and I are like, she'll suggest some like random shit that popped up on a streaming service and I'm like, she'll suggest some like random shit that popped up on a streaming service, and I'm like, oh, that sounds like garbage. And sometimes I will like look at this, which is stupid, like just watch it, suck it up, make my partner happy, whatever. But ever once in a while, I'm like,

I need a chance to see what the critics thought of that, fuck, Melissa McCarthy movie. Um, yeah, I mean, if it's something that Melissa McCarthy made with, uh, her husband, then maybe I would also feel that way. But Audrey would have been in college when Nancy McFee came out. I want to make this clear. Sure. Yeah. Okay. when Danny McPhee came out, I want to make this clear. Two, three, two, one. Not sure, yeah, okay.

Yeah. And she was in a doogie house, right? Yes. Was it a doogie house? All right. Anyway, the child is what we've termed a doogie house. Oh, that's a good thing, right? No, no, not at all.

No. Speaking of doogie house and inside Lew Lewin Davis it was only on this Rewatch that I'm like fucking Vinny DeVecchio is in this movie You didn't recognize it. No, I didn't recognize do use pal. Yeah, next to our max fun cohort Helen Hong has a small role in it which i was delighted to see

and inside of the davis anyway steward you look like you're rare and to recommend oh shit i guess i am uh... i'm gonna recommend a movie i watch a little bit ago that i don't think i have recommended uh... i'm recommending a movie that is streaming on Hulu called Fire Island. It is a fire starter. And you're like, wait, I had to watch it.

I'm watching on peacock. I'm much worse streaming service than Hulu. So, yeah, Fire Island, it is a romcom that is very indebted to Jane Austen. Now that's short for Roman comedy, right? It is. Comedy. Well, based on some of the haircuts, mostly Roman holiday.

Um, so it's, uh, it's, uh, what like written in stars, uh, Joel Kim booster and Bowen Yang, uh, and Marriott show. And it is a bout a group of friends who are going to spend the week at Fire Island together and, uh, you know, along the way, they find love and they, you know, they reaffirmed their friendships and all that stuff. And it's cute and it's fun. And, uh, there's a lot of hunks. Oh boy, so many hunks, so many hard bodies. And at first I was like, before I kind of figured like realized

that it was going for a Jane Austen thing, I thought there's a Jolkin Booster's character gives a lot of narration. And at first I'm like, are they just trying to explain, are they like explaining like gay culture to the normals? But it kind of, it works within the Jane Austen framework. It's, and it's, it's funny and cute. And also having last summer, Sharon, I finally went out and stayed with some friends on fire, Alan. And we got to see some places that were, were familiar to us, including the ice palace where Charlene got yelled at by a drag queen.

So it was great. Good times. So if you want to enjoy the movie, just like I did, watch Fire Island. So there's a lot of steps to go through to enjoy the movie specifically like you did. Back in time. Quilably even in my body. I have a movie to recommend too. The movie we talked about today, Firestarter 2022, is about a family in crisis with a daughter who is having problems controlling an issue that her parents don't know how to deal with. Remind of me, a lot of movie I saw recently, that's right, through a glass darkly directed by Ingmar Bergman, uh, and starring, uh, Harriet Anderson and Max von Sydow and Gunner Bjorn Trang

and Larsen, past Clark Not, not Harry Anderson. No, not, not like, words, Harry Anderson, uh, but the, but the actress Harry at Anderson. But think about Harry Anderson and Max von Sydow. What the fuck did they talk about? Magic. I mean, yeah, the magic. Yeah, the magic of acting and the actual magic. Yeah, magic. Yeah, magic. Harry Anderson and Max were on a huge magic the gathering place. Yeah. Oh, man, you know, you know that Max von Sada only plays black decks. He's like swamp, swamp. You know, he's called, they go, yes, this operator could you send me to wizards of the coast? I have some complaints to make.

I don't like the way they change the art in demon of the pit or whatever it's called, whatever that is. It's lower to the pit. Lower to the pit, thank you. So anyway, it's a story of, there's just four actors and the whole thing, the story of a woman who is dealing with schizophrenia, her husband, and her father and her brother,

and they each have different issues relating to each other, relating to themselves, and relating to God and their place in the universe. And it is a movie with no supernatural elements that nonetheless, except for Max on-side-out. It's over the existence of Max on-side-out, Magic the Gathering, you know that, so Harry Anderson, he would really annoy Max on-side-out on-set. I don't know what set they were both working on together, but they would play Magic the Gathering together and he would make Max on-side-out's cards disappear

in the middle of the game. He would go, how how do you please I'm trying to play a serious game of magic gathering with you and you keep with your, your, your tricks and jokes and japes. And you think that Max Juan Saito and Werner Herzog would play cards together, but turns out Werner Herzog's more of a Yu-Gi-Oh guy. You know, when I look at Yu-Gi-Oh, I see the chaos and unmeaningness of the universe. And I feel I have to catch those monsters and have them battle each other for what's recent, none us, and the superiority of my deck. Exactly.

He's like, okay, I regret to inform you that I once again have drawn my blue eyes white dragon. I heard a tale of a race of digital monsters or Digimon, but I have not yet been able to explore. Wow, yeah, he just loves that. He loves all rings. Yeah, the whole thing. He's so into collect he's so into collectible games of all kinds, collectible card games. Anyway, I find the challenge of Pokemon is to catch them all. And you can never catch them all, but that team rocket is always trying to stop me. And I feel like I need to get in their way first.

Anyway, anyway, through a glass darkly, it won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. And it's kind of a chamber drama of a family. And I can say there's no supernatural elements, but there's a strange kind of darkness and eerie-ness to it. And I found it very haunting. So that's through a glass darkly. Okay, three recommendations. Hey, sounds great. Let's wrap this thing up. Slap a bow on it. Pipe it out to the podcast.

It's just a celebration. It's just a celebration of movies. You know, that's what we're doing here. Yeah, it's what really is. We call it celebration movies. Celebration of movies. It's a lot of celebration. Okay.

Well, I really want to write a one X play about Harry Anderson and Max one side of the way. Yeah. Okay. Thank you to Max from fun.org. It's our podcast network. Go over there. Check out some other podcasts. Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer for putting this thing together. Thank you for coming back from being

on the beach last time. I'm sorry that I mixed the last episode a little low, but it sounds fine. It sounds fine. And thank you to you, the listener, for joining us here for this madness. But until next time, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylin. Good night. I got a bit for this one.

Yeah, I got a bit. Yeah, I got a bit for this one Yeah, I got a bit okay on this episode we discuss Fire starter now is it a freaky fire starter or a meekly fire starter you be the judge What I you know what I've got one. Why don't we try out this one too? There's no explanation. I have no idea. I have no idea what that means. Dude, this episode's gonna drop and people are going to die from laughing so hard. It's gonna be like the fucking ringoo of podcasts. Sure. Alright.

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do another take just to, you know, just just in case we don't want to kill all of humanity. Yeah. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported.