The Flop House - Episode #375 - Short Circuit 2, with Ben Hosley

Episode Date: July 30, 2022

Episode 375 is ALIVE! We keep raiding Blank Check for some of our finest guest stars, which is why it was only a matter of time before we'd add "America's finest film critic," Ben Hosley, to that list. And Ben asked if he could do "that stupid robot movie from the 80's," and following a brief round of "Is THIS the Film?, Dan figured out that Ben was asking for Short Circuit 2. Thus it twas spake. Thus it came to pass.Wikipedia entry for Short Circuit 2Movies recommended in this episodeThe CatThe CounselorRRRAssassin's CreedEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

On this episode we discuss short circuit two. If the first movie asked the question, who's Johnny? The second movie asked the question, where's Johnny? The answer, hell. What? Okay, Toronto, it's Toronto. Oh, that's why it didn't look like New York. Yeah, because it's Toronto, but they never really refer to where he is.

We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. Okay. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop as I, the one you're hearing right now, am Dan McCoy, and me Stewart the professional one. His last name is Wellington, that's how prevention he is. This is the first name. And I'm Elliot Kaelin and joining us, we have a very special guest today. Guest, please introduce yourself for the audience.

They love a mystery, but now it's time to reveal the solution to the mystery of who is our guest today. Yes. Hello. It is Ben Hossley. It's Ben Hossley, producer Ben, you may know him as. That's right. From Link Check check blank check with Griffin and David There's a whole list of nicknames that we will not go through. Oh, so we're not gonna do the nicknames

Okay, I appreciate that That is a bit I can see you tensing up. Yeah, yeah, I feel like we started and the early days of the show It's been going for about seven years. Oh, you know, I know it's cute. It's like about a half the run of, of the show. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Rocketed past us. It's very quick. Understandably. Yeah, it's a very good show. It's probably listening to that. And probably because the episodes are shorter than ours. Wait a minute. They're not there. They're very, they are not. They are so long and it feels like over the years they have just gotten longer and longer. The same.

Truth is, that's how it looks. Three hour runtime. It's crazy. But did you encourage David to have a child just to get the links of the episodes down? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So consciously I was trying to like influence him so that he wouldn't pray night his wife and hopefully would lead to Him needing to go and constantly take care of his child and therefore Cut down on the runtime of our recordings. You got me like hey man. Look. Oh look at this picture this happy family with a baby Man, that looks great. Oh, I met his my own you're like you're like these episodes are getting so long I got to start sending more chocolate covered straw berries to David's house.

So you can finally get this going. Sure. Yeah, that's how it happens. And now I have to break into his house and put rose petals on his bed so you can finally do it and get a baby. Yeah, just anonymous edible arrangements every other week coming to his doorstep. That's like a spice up a marriage, guys. Well, we were very excited to get Ben on the show. We've had, as you know, Griffin and David,

if you're a listener, you've heard them. And Ben, we asked what he would like to talk about. I'm kind of surprised when we just remember who beat up the top. I wanted to. I do. Yeah. I wanted to. I do. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So, we're like, Ben, out of every possible movie we could watch, what are you dying to give more, what, like, get more eyes on? Yeah. We said, what movie do you feel like needs to be seen? Has to be seen. Needs to be talked about?

You want people to just experience the magic of, and it would help if one of the main characters who is where the least problematic thing about them is that their name is also your name, Ben. Sure. Okay, so here's the context we were drinking at the time of this conversation. So I just want to say that. Sure. Like with Dan and Stewart, likely story. Okay. Sure.

Yes. And so I know the show's been going for quite a long time. So I'm like, okay, what is like going to be some kind of deep cut movie that they haven't covered yet? And what came to mind was from my childhood, this dumb robot movie that I remember watching any time I would catch an on cable TV. Yeah. And I also, I remember, I watched it a lot as a child as well. And what I remember about both of them, right, is that the robot, he's a fun, cool guy. He's very cool.

He's very cool. He's very cool. In the robots of my childhood, he is up there with the good robot, Bill and Ted's from Bill and Ted's bogus journey. Like under coolness robots, I can think of. Okay. So I remember two being where he really loosens up, Johnny. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's less, you know, about the military sort of complex. He's calling him, yeah. Johnny. Yeah. Yeah. It's less about the military sort of complex. He's going with Johnny. Yeah, he's already, he's going to process his trauma. He's ready to move on to this life. Yeah. And he's thriving. Yeah.

Well, the first one, the first one he's really discovering what it's like to be a sentient being. And the second one, he's like, I'm here. I'm alive. Time to reference every pop culture thing of the mid to late 80s over and over again, just to make sure people sure, make sure people know that I'm just a cool dude who never stops fucking talking ever. Even when he's chasing down a wolf. Wow. I feel like I was sharmed by Johnny Biden.

I think it was more that I think it was more by the end of the movie. I think that the producers, the movie are like, this is not the exciting climax. We hope it was. What if we just layer in tons and tons of off-camera quips from Johnny 5 over and over again? And I know it's rich coming from me, a guy who never talks and is very annoying. But I got to say, it's just one of those times when I was watching it. And I think maybe that's what hurt me so much was seeing Johnny 5 being like, is that what I'm like to people? what hurt me so much was seeing Johnny Fife mean like, is that what I'm like to people? That is barely alive and is very annoying.

Oh, terrible. But in addition to the talking robot, there's something else about this movie that makes it notorious. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's what we're talking about. Right. So I suggested this film thinking about it as the 10 year old, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The 10 year old that would watch this movie. And so I said, why not short circuit two? Yeah. And then sat down to watch this film two days ago and was horrified by what we are going to now have to talk about. Now, when you made this suggestion to Dan. Did you read the look of concern on his face? And they're like, why would Dan?

Is it the movie's going to be so bad or maybe Dan's Frank DeRoe? I thought he was shocked because it was such a good picture. It's like why are we talking about that movie? It's a great movie. Oh my God. How can we have overlooked this one? Yeah, we haven't talked movie. Oh my God. We have overlooked this one. We haven't talked about it on the show.

We have in fact referenced it, a fair amount of time, specifically usually the Los Lobos kick your balls and down to space. Los Lobos. Los Lobos is a band. They do not appear in the film. That's right. I would argue, okay, there's two, I would say that obviously we're dancing around the most problematic thing in this movie, which is Fisher Stevens reprising the role of Ben

who is an Indian character. That Fisher Stevens is playing in brown face. Character, they did, I will give them credit, they changed the character's last name from the first movie. I guess to throw people off slightly, I don't know, or they forgot. I mean, that might be the most insulting thing is they were just like, I guess he has some Indian last name. We'll give him another Indian last name, but I would say Los Locos are in some ways more offensive than Fisher Stevens performance because they are the idea that like street gang, okay, Latino and they

induct Johnny five into the gang and he's immediate like, hey, blah, blah, blah, and all they do is steal some cars. I would argue they are even more problematic than Fisher Steve's. Yeah, they have, well, they have no positive side. Whereas Fisher Stevens, he's a man who has, looks back on his career, apologized that this happened.

Like he seems thoughtful about it. You know, look, even like, even at the the time they should have known better, but it was a different time. But the other side to that is at least he is creating a lovable, multifaceted character who is a champ to be a full human being. He has a lot of malapropisms which are, at the humor that, does not help. But, uh,

but those, locals are, are just like cartoon villain gang, and also the fact that like they are, they're a multi ethnic gang, but if the idea was, but they all speak with kind of man type accents, you know, and like, yeah, that, that the idea is just like, well, they're, and also the fact that it's never clear where this movie is set. They never set, and I mean, they do accept Johnny five into their ranks. He becomes a member of the game after, after they trick him into stealing several dozen car stereos. But, uh, this movie is never very clear. And when I was a kid watching it, I assumed it was New York, because the second movie in a series is almost always the New York movie. And they, but it's clearly not in. In.

In. In. D. They go to New York. Doesn't it go to New York in the first. I guess he does. Right. He does.

That's one of the different ones. But like, uh, well, the Muppets take man has not the second one, but it's, it's one of the early sequels. Like, there was a, there was a feeling in the lot of movies. I feel like where it's like, once the character has proved himself, then they can go to New York. The biggest?

Like how Jason approved himself. So if I was killing all of us, killing all those teenagers in the sticks, and then he's like, I gotta take my act to the big city. Yeah, there was a scout who was scouting him at the summer camp when, you know what kid? I think you got what it takes to go on Broadway. Wow, really kill people on Broadway come on kid and then it didn't work out he didn't really have what you got but so the but this with this movie it's shot in Toronto and it's

very clear watching it that they are dancing around where it is actually set and so just the idea that they were like it's a city a street gang Latino street gang it doesn't matter where we are it's a big city there's a there's a there's a Latino street gang it's whatever city, a street gang, Latina street gang. It doesn't matter where we are. It's a big city. There's a, there's a, there's a Latina street gang. It's whatever, this is what we do. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's the thing is that you know it could very well not be in the United States until the very end. Yeah, when they take, he takes the oath of citizenship for the United States, which they usually don't do in Canada as far as I know. They also have a black three-card modi street hustler who's reaction to Johnny Five. Oh, right. Also cartoonishly sort of stereotyped. So, wow, yeah, this is a real racist.

Of the ethnic. Yeah. It's not good. it's so racist. It's like, I'm so sorry, truly, to anyone that potentially would be offended by this movie. You know what I'm also going to say? Johnny Fibes kind of a racist depiction of a robot to be honest. How so?

He has no thoughts in his head other than whatever input has been given to him. He's just constantly spinning out nonsense. He's at when they're all like, oh, what's he gonna bleed? Motor oil or anything that he does later or battery fluid or whatever it is. He's at, he falls into a lot of robot stereotypes that he can read books real fast. Johnny five is definitely a character who shows that knowing a lot of facts doesn't make you smart. But John, if I had the character, doesn't show up for like 20 minutes into the

movie. And also I hate to raise you guys. Johnny five was played by a puppeteer and a voice actor not by a real robot. It took me until a wally that you had a real robot played by a robot. Yeah. And so it's so they have real they have living or get flesh humans and robo face in this movie. I don't know.

Okay. They have living or get flesh humans and robo face in this movie. I don't know. Okay, but I don't want too much talk about too many jokes about anti robot sentiment to diminish the fact that like I want to let's address this fully and then and then move on and not really dwell on it. But yeah, they just switched to even just not an Indian man. He is doing this in brown face with a very broad Indian voice. I don't think it is ill intentioned, but it is very, very miscalculated, let's say. Yeah, and the strangest thing about it is that apparently in the first movie, they cast him as a white character and then decided to change the character to an Indian part, but then had him play it anyway.

Yeah, which is a strange way to do things. Yeah, and I look, if I was a better, you know, sort of, I don't know what I, I don't, I wouldn't call myself the producer now that Alex does all the editing, but as a better, a, a ranger of things for the show, I might have said to Ben, are you sure you are? But it was a movie that I saw a lot as a kid. That's why they call them the steam roller. Is he just wouldn't take no for an answer when it came to you guys? You can tell how I was sort of an angry he is. No, I was just like, you know, we can probably address it and there's a lot of other funny things to talk about. But it is, you know, it's a thing that would keep me

from recommending this movie to anyone now. As a kid, I don't think, like, you know, I grew up in the middle of the country. I just didn't, like when I saw Fisher Stevens in another part, like I was a kid. I was like, oh, he's, I didn't know. I thought, yeah, he's white. I didn't.

What? Yeah. I mean, to be very confusing. I grew up in New Jersey at a school where there were a lot of Asian American kids, a lot of Indian American kids. And as a kid, I never put two and two together that Fisher Stevens was playing it, playing in ethnicity that he was not. And I was just, I was rereading the article that, as he's I'm sorry, wrote for the New York Times, where as a kid, he was like, finally an Indian hero in a movie.

And it wasn't until he was a college student that he was like, wait a minute, that's guys not from India. Hold on a second. But so there's, I, so you'll say you can say it's a bad, it was a bad decision, but Fisher Stevens kind of Did the best he could although you I think he didn't really understand the problem until he saw Dana Carvey wear a turtle face in Master of disguise and he realized how much it hurts to see your culture appropriate It's because you see this does look like a turtle. It's true. Yeah, is he's just even does look like a turtle He would be perfect to play scar in the turtle remake of the Lion King

Yes You would be perfect to play Scar in the turtle remake of the Lion King. Yes. I mean Michael Sare would be playing the Lion King. Michael Sare's the grown up symbol, right? He's the closest grown up symbol. He's doing these takes. You're saying it's a turtle-fied Lion King? Yeah, it's like the turtle king. But you got to clarify that it's based on the Lion King. So I say a turtle version of the Lion King. Yeah, it's like the turtle king. But you got to clarify that it's based on the Lion King.

So I say a turtle version of the Lion King. I mean, that the poster will probably call it turtle king. But maybe, maybe we'll release it as turtle version. You're the turtle king. That's a very different story. Yeah, very different story. Now Stuart, the real question is, would the opening songs still be the circle of life or would it be the turtle of life? It's a good question. Would the be turtle, food, and turtle? To look like circles. So they do. They are around.

Yeah. Can you feel the shell tonight? I don't know what you're doing. Can you feel it? No. They're all great songs. Okay. Any other turtle references that we can make?

I just want to finish casting this movie. Who's playing the Mofasa in that movie? Who's the dad? Who's that's what animals are to moan and poomba? Because are these sea turtles or are they land tortoises? Okay, so to moan and poomba are not going to be turtles. I think it's essential that they're not. They have to be some other kind of creature.

So poomba's main trait is what? Farting alone? Farting some other kind of impression. Maybe. So, Boomba's main trade is what? Farting a lot? Farting and being kind of a big animal. What other animal farts a lot? Are we going to trade? Dan, you know what about farting? I mean, I do fart a lot. Okay, so Dan, so Boomba is Dan.

Okay, in this region. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Let's talk about what happened. Why don't I take, why don't I take the summary reins on this one? How does that sound? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

The movie opens quickly. Yeah, it's my name. Yes, quickly. The steam roller's back. I also wanted to just say I looked up an article in the LA Times that was promoting this movie and was an interview with Fisher Stevens. And so because I know we're moving on, but I just want to quickly add some choice quotes. This from the original release. Oh, yeah. Oh, back in 1988, the year America made a choice, Bush or DuCoccus, and they never looked back. This is one of the quotes when he's talking about his career.

He says, I'm like the you went. Okay. Yes. And then lists off some of the other roles. So not only has he done this as an Indian man, he's done this many times in a bunch of other movies. Okay. Well, this makes me feel like like it was a mistake. It's so fucked up.

I can't even like, because there is a tradition in Hollywood, right, going way back. You watch old movies and it totally is. No, at least they're not. They watch his old movies. And that's why, because I don't like ethnic actors. I only want to see white actors playing other ethnicities. I'm just kidding. That's not what we got. We got it on it. No, no, it's on tape. No, that's not why.

It's because old movies are just better aside from the problematic elements, which there are many. But anyway, so you're saying, so it's an old Hollywood tradition to not want to cast non-white actors. Yes. And it's just so surprising to me that it's like in the 80s, this is still happening. It's just so surprising to me that it's like in the 80s, this is still happening. I'm just so astounded. So okay, one other couple other pieces here. At a benefit premiere of the film, this is included in the article, Princess Diana was surprised he was not native of India when they met. What a weird world where Princess Diana was sitting watching this movie.

I know, that's where I'm like, I can't even imagine. I mean, there's never been an historical incidence of a British person being insensitive to India. I mean, there's nothing in any biography of Princess Dye or even the movie Spencer. Are there moments where they show us her watching short circuit or short circuit. That should have been the ultimate low point for the character and Spencer was her having to watch short circuit too. Do you think Chris and Stuart had to watch short circuit to get in the car?

Yeah, she knew Princess Dye did it. Yeah, she did all to get in that character. She did everything that she knew Princess Dye did. She married Prince Charles briefly. She had two sons. she watched short circuit to the idea that at certain point Princess Diana was sitting in a theater watching a robot doing impression of crazy Eddie from the from the local New York area electronic store commercials is bonkers to me that's not crazy Eddie by the way who then later works at radio shack well because this is this is, it's, we'll get to

that. It's confusing. He's a character named Manek Mike in this one, not to be confused with magic Mike, who's very different. I just think that that's like a local, that's a, you know, that's a local, you know, mom and pop, you know, electric store type thing. Like the radio shack wouldn't have someone do that character. Probably. No, no. Well, it's a franchise. You know, you know, you know, electric store type thing, like the radio shack wouldn't have someone do that character. Probably. No, no. Well, it's a franchise, you know, you know, you know, I mean, now, by this point, this may have been already the, no, I don't wonder if crazy Eddie was,

it must have still run. This was before crazy Eddie's shut down because they were cooking the books and breaking. Okay, we're getting way ahead of ourselves. Let's just, let's get it. Actually, we're way behind ourselves. There's no reason to talk about the downfall to crazy Eddie Fritt chain. What are the, what are the facts do you have about short circuit too before we get into the story? Well, just the other thing about that premier

is it was a benefit. Whoa. I love it. I love it. That's great. Okay, last one. It was a benefit for a better representation in film. And this film was an example of what not to do.

Yeah. Okay. So the last thing in this feature with Fisher Stevens is he goes out with this quote, I'd like to play a white guy someday. Oh, and he never did. And he never did not tell hackers. Just kidding. He's in hackers. Yeah.

He's in the end. He's in lost and a bunch of other stuff. He's had a big long career. Yeah. He's not a very long career. And he's an Academy award winning a in hackers. Yeah, he's in the end. He's in lost and a bunch of other stuff. He's had a big long career Yeah, he's not a very long career and he's an Academy Award-winning documentary maker. Yeah, yeah So I guess Yeah, Fisher Stevens he got what you wanted, but was it worth it? Yeah All right, all right short circuit two great that those are all that's all context. The movie begins with what for me was its height point,

the old TriStar Pegasus logo, which I have not seen in years. This is the era. This is the era before TriStar Merge with Columbia, I think, and before they were all bought by Sony. So to see that horse with its flapping wings and hear that music, and then gets trapped in a triangle, it brought back a lot of childhood memories.

Yeah, you know, Elliot, I would feel bad about backtracking, but you were just talking about the TriStar logo. So obviously, we're not in too much of a rush. No, no, we're three seconds into the movie. We're not even into the actual film property. I feel like before we talk about short circuit two, we should give a brief summary of the events of short circuit. We're in. Sure. Go for it. Steve Gutenberg and Fisher Stevens play a robo scientists who have made these Montana. Yeah, made robots for the government. They're just made to learn that they're going to be, you know, they put lasers on them. They're going to be used as as military things, which is naive on their part. That's incredibly naive on the robot

makers part. Number five gets hit by lightning as shown on the poster for the movie. And you know, in truth, Frankenstein fashion, this makes him alive. It changes something in his programming. Like he becomes sentient. I feel like during the 80s, there were a lot of fucking movie posters with dudes getting hit with electricity. Like that.

That electricity was huge back then. Yeah. Yeah. You're science to the, we're science possibly a killer. A killer. Yeah. He goes on the run.

How it runs. How it runs? You were blessed to talk. Well, let's not talk about that. Number five goes on the run. And another one that's not blessed to talk about, well, let's not talk about that one. Number five goes on the run. Another one that's not talking about. Another one that's not talking about. Yeah.

Number five goes on the run. He meets Ali Shidi, who is a local hippie, who teaches him to respect life. Steve Gutenberg and Ali Shidi have a romance. They end up thwarting the government. That's basically it. The first one is kind of like the bad boy scientist, which is like the type of scientists that I just can't stand. It's like how often are we really like in the real world? Do we have a badass scientist? Yeah. I mean, I'm sure on some level, a lot of scientists are bad asses within their field. I think they're not following the confines of a traditional past. I feel like I feel like I don't.

It's committed to homework for the rest of their freaking lives. Yeah, come on. And then it's a slippery slope from that just to like an Elon Musk type who thinks he's super cool and is constantly face planting in different ways. Like, you know, lava is cool. Right? We love it if you're right. Lava is cool.

Lava is cool as hell. But like someone who studies lava is kind of boring. I mean, I think part of the issue is that most of science is not the fun stuff we see in movies. It's a lot of like keeping records and observing things very closely. And like I wanted to be a scientist when I was a kid because I had been taught by cartoons that being a scientist meant like building time machines

and things like that or like meeting aliens. But it's not. A lot of science is putting different chemicals into a hundred different vials that have bacteria in them and then recording what happens for the next couple weeks and then trying it again with a hundred new chemicals, you know. I forgot that Ben was the bad boy bully of podcasting, but I wanted to.

That's the call bad boy bully Ben, another nickname. Yeah, I just want to make my name a nickname. I did want to move on to short circuit two at long last. I wanted to say one more thing, which is both of the short circuit movies are written by the same screenwriting team who also wrote tremors, but the first one was, I was surprised, the movie tremors learn was directed by John Batum who did more from more names and Saturday night fever.

And this one is by a director who mostly did like, biome and episodes and the TV show V and other. I mean, he created the show V created his name's Kenneth Johnson. He created the show alien nation. So like he's not just a like a, he created the show V created his name's Kenneth Johnson he created the show alien nation. So like he's not just a like a he's a TV creator, I would say. No, no, I know. I just a journey man director, but I don't. He had a I'm still impressed by the career. I'm just saying that like in terms of in Hollywood terms, it's like, okay, we've got this like kind of big name director. And then they're like, okay, now we give this equal to the TV guy.

But he's, yeah, he's not John Badam. And John Badam is not even a top tier star directory. And like, I don't think people are, it's not like people are like, I gotta go see the new John Badam. What are you guys gonna do? I'm gonna check series on John Badam. I don't think I'm gonna talk soon. No, I don't think that that one is a John Badam.

I don't think he ever got to come on. No, I don't think that that was ever got that blank check is the thing. I don't know, John Badam ever ever got that blank check authorization. Okay, well, war game is great. Now that you just great, I love that movie. If you're going to see a movie about an S&T and AI that is doing the wrong

thing, then war games is the movie to see and not not the short circuits. Okay, now that we're caught up on short circuit, and we know that it's about a robot that comes to life, let's talk about short circuit too. So we start off with Fisher Stevens is reprising his character of Ben from the first movie. As I mentioned, he does have a different last name

than in the previous movie, which is I think is a sign of the slip shot nature of much of this sequel. He's out on the street of an unidentified city, as we mentioned, the movie allows you to believe it's New York. If you say New York, the movie's not going to correct you at any point, you know, the same way that so are there many times where I have not seen a movie or read a book that someone's talking about, and I just kind of don't say that out loud and let them believe that I know the thing that they're talking about. That's what this movie is doing with New York.

And then is out on the street, he's selling tiny little toy number fives that like to dance and things like that. And next to him is a guy named Fred played by Mike McKeein who is selling Rolex watches, which is 1980s. Yes, that's 1980s shorthand for con man is out on the street selling Rolex watches. And when they're three buttons down, they're like a sleaze ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's so many buttons you don't do.

He's always talking about his silk shirt and people one day. Yeah, and he talks like this. He talks like this. Yeah, and there's a, there's a, the other day we were driving and we passed a Rolls Royce on the road and the guy driving it was the sleasiest looking guy I'd ever seen in my life. Like he looked like he was a drug kingpin's henchman in a movie from 1987 and I was like, it's kind of, it was either going to be a distinguished old British man or this guy who's driving this way.

Yeah, you either thought he was going to stop and ask for some grape, who pawn or some shit. Exactly. Or stop it for this episode or reveal that the whole trunk is just full of cocaine. That's what a pro-brake joke for this episode. Or reveal that the whole trunk is just full of cocaine. That's the other thing. Okay, so Mike McKean is like, Hey, you know what? Why don't I sell you some of these watches? But then one of the mini Johnny Fives. Has he started calling himself Johnny Five or no? Yeah, I think so. Okay, I could remember he did in the first movie. I mean, who's Johnny the song was related to the first movie?

I think though in the first movie, they just always called him number five because when he shows up in this movie, he's like, I'm calling myself Johnny now. It's Johnny five. Yeah. And Ben is surprised by that. So I was like, I didn't realize that he didn't know that anyway, that little robot, he rolls all the way through a huge shopping mall and rolls by the office of one Sandy Bannatoni played by Cynthia Gibb, who for the past few years has been doing almost exclusively Christmas themed projects.

And she is the toy buyer for this huge department store. Nothing she is interested in does her boss want to buy for the store. And it is, it is to be fair, all kind of shoddy gimmicky junk that looks like you would mind it in the bargain ban of a Spencer's gifts. I love that. I love that her last name sounds like Panatoni. And I also love that she is way ahead of the curve on giant eyebrow fashion because her eyebrows are huge. They look awesome. I hadn't really noticed the size of her eyebrows. Okay. Well, I guess it's time for rewatch of short circuit two. You know what? Yeah. Let me, let me stop the recording. Let me watch short circuit two again.

But her boss is like, I want high tech stuff, high tech things. And then Johnny five rolls in this tiny little robot, Johnny five. And she finds Ben who turns out is living and working out of a truck. And she says, Hey, I want a thousand of these little robots toys. Can you make them for me? And Michael McCain is suddenly like, uh, money. Yes, I'm your, I'm his business partner. Uh, yeah, we can build those for you.

$50 a piece. Sure, sure. Anyway, we'll build you a thousand of those robots in 30 days and then it's in love with her too. So that helps. Ben is instantly in love with her. So he's, he's all tongue tied, which allows Fred to, to swoop in and just take over that negotiations. Meanwhile, there's a motorcade rolling into the city. And, uh, like, well, again, we still don't have Johnny five in this movie yet.

We're not going to have it for a while. Okay. All the poster. But then first we're setting up all the pieces. We're setting up the dominoes that Johnny five will knock down. Yeah, yeah. A motorcade rolls into the city delivering a priceless diamond collection to a bank. And I guess the diamonds are going on display somewhere in a week, but they're going to wait in this bank vault for a little bit until then. What do we care about diamonds?

I thought there's a short circuit movie. Uh-oh, wait and see. Like all kids movies from the 80s. This has to do with the things kid love kids love most one Corporate intrigue and how hard it is to start a business and keep it running To someone who's worked at a job for a long time that they don't feel respected Actually decide to rob their employer the two things kids love that are in most children's 80s movies live action division so

And this bank the we watch the the guards travel through the bank, which is and this bank, the, the, we watched the, the guards travel through the bank, which is a shopping mall, right? It's like, it's like a massive shop. All escalators. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. It's, it's, it's now towards the biggest bank in the world. Yeah. There's multiple levels and escalators. Uh, so, uh, Michael Bikian, this being a kids movie, he goes to, uh, he goes to a pool hall where there's a stripper dancing to get a loan from a pool shark to start up their Johnny five toy making business. They rent a rundown building, shades of ghost busters in that, but that building, uh-oh, they don't realize in the basement.

It's secretly the headquarters for two guys who are meant to are trying to tunnel in across the street into the bank to steal those diamonds. Somehow they're using a computer to do this. I don't really know why, but the two. The graphics are incredible when they're using a computer to do this. I don't really know why. But the two guys want to. The graphics are incredible. When they're like, how long is it going to take? We get like a little 3D representation of us flying through a fucking tunnel.

Like it's like the opening of a movie where there's popcorn and shit flying your face. And then it just ends with the word vault flashing. Yeah. He really, he really chiepped out on the animation for the vault. Yeah. Um, one of the, one of the crooks is a, is a technology expert and the other is just a cook. He's just a guy, who's, who's a tough guy. And so, uh, Ben is now overseeing a staff of homeless people that Fred has hired to build little Johnny Fives, uh, until the two crooks come in. They can't have

these guys in the building if they're going to use it as their headquarters. They come in in masks and they just wreck the place with crowbars and scare everybody away. Oh no. How's Ben going to make a thousand of these little robot toys? It's impossible. Wait, but then a Deus Ex machina arrives. That's right. A literal machina because what appears in a giant packing crate? Dan, who is it? Oh, it's Johnny five and he and this packing crate, this giant, packing great, like jumps its way into the, into the warehouse. I'm not quite sure what the mechanism of that is.

But it's using the same physics that Hippity Hopper, the kangaroo from the Looney Tunes cartoons with news, if he was in a box and the box is jumping around. Yeah. This is about the point, the, you know, him coming to New York is about the point in the movie that I tried to Google one of my favorite things from the early web. I couldn't, I wasn't able to find it and may finally be gone from who's scrubbed on the internet. But one of the my favorite weird things I found in the early days was someone had done

this illustrated calendar of Johnny five. Oh, right. I remember seeing that also. Yeah. Yeah, each month was like a postcard that he or like a letter that he'd sent to Stephanie back home being like, I'm in France now. You know, like, oh, people are weird here. And like it would be him like in our brain from the fucking love that show or something.

And he's like, so you know, did that shit there free time they weren't being paid. They just made these cool. It was just a fan thing for like, fucking love it. Fucking loved short circuit. And I wish I could, I'm, I hope I'm in the right there. It was, I think beautiful and like, sort of the innocence of it. It was, it was really groundbreaking. And you can, and it's, it's, it's a direct trail from that to the recent fan comic where the two main characters of Zootopia are in a relationship and they break up because one of them had an abortion without telling the other one. And it takes place in Jerry Seinfeld's apartment for some reason.

I feel like that's, that's the, that's the state of kind of fan fiction of the, of children's characters. You can draw direct draw direct line. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the descent of man, but with those things. So anyway, Johnny Five is here. Finally, this movie can begin, the star of the show. He rolls around making wise cracks. As always, he is hungry for input. He wants constant input.

He reads a book really fast. Dan, did you have an issue with this? He reads the How to the Basketvilles. And guess is that the chauffeur did it and then flip soon goes, he did. Is there a chauffeur in How To The Basket Vills? This is the part where I met that despite being a lover of all things Sherlock Holmes, I cannot make it through the full length novels. I don't really. I don't. Have you tried reading it like Johnny five reads it.

We just flipped through the pages and don't look at the words. Yeah, I mean, I read, I did read a studying scarlet, which is probably from what I hear the worst one, but I had to read the first home's novel and it was a story of any kind. And that's a bad one because half, like, partway through, it's just all the actions, just switches to, I don't know, is it Utah? Like, there's this whole, like, interlude where they talk about a bunch of Mormons in America. And it's just a backstory for the solution of the mystery that will eventually be revealed.

And I'm like, where's Sherlock Holmes? That's what I want. But I don't know. I never read all of that. So that was a long way of saying, you don't know. I'm surprised. I thought you're surprised. I'm so very surprised.

I like that you're saying that. You felt you had to defend your home's bona fides by telling us you did try to read another long homes. Well, I don't. Elliot, I have a sickness as a speaker where like I feel like I have to travel down every road and explain all of it. And you know, my wife is a saint. We're still talking about short circuit two, right? I'm not sure Ben. Are we still talking about short circuit two, right?

I'm not sure, Ben, are we still talking about short circuit two? Should we get back to it? How do you feel? I don't think we can't have to jump back into it. I'm willing to hear Dan sort of further explore just communication in general. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going to come as such a shock to our listeners is the thing. Okay, so Ben is like Johnny five can't learn that he's in a city. He loves input so much that he'll just roll, he'll just go outside and get lost and cause trouble. So he kind of tells him that the entirety of the world is the building that they're in right there and that there's nothing but a boring void outside, which is philosophically an interesting proposition

to put forward to a robot. If I can show you. Later in the movie, room. position to put forward to a robot. Later in the movie room. I guess, you know, in a much more harrowing way. Johnny assembles a toy really quickly and then he makes an isn't that special church lady reference. So he already has to watch.

I like that. I like that. I was excited about that. I got the reference. But by the end of the movie, by the end of the movie, it is like a snowball rolling downhill of pop culture references. Until by the end, all of his dialogue is just like, it's just like, go ahead, make my day and stuff like that.

Yeah, we're racing faster and faster and the story is just blurred together. Just getting more and more. But so Johnny works at night while watching a Tarzan movie on TV, which will come in later when he does a Tarzan move, and also sees a commercial for a crazy Eddie style place called Manic Mike's. You may recognize the guy playing Manic Mike, it's Don Lake, regular Christopher Guest actor, and also just like Fisher Stevens was in the Super Mario Brothers movie. So this is his second flop house episode appearance.

So exciting for him. He'll be receiving his certificate in the mail with a big number two on it. And now, when, when we, it'll just be the number two, though, it'll be very confusing for him. When Johnny five, when Johnny five shows up to the warehouse, he starts building one of the little toy robots. And I don't know about you guys, but he built it just as fast as a human would build it. He wasn't going that much faster. I don't know how that was going to solve all their problems. I think more than he can work 24 hours a day. He doesn't even have to pay him. Yeah, they can't. He put a lot of good.

Yeah, they can't even input. I thought you were going to say, will Johnny Five have sort of a some sort of psychological existential crisis when he's like making a small hero box building robot. Yeah, I mean, when people put each other and make little babies, like, yeah, little smaller versions of themselves. Only the same existential crisis that we all have when we make smaller versions of ourselves, where he's like, how do I only put the good parts of myself in this toy and not the bad parts

myself? And now that I have this, I can foresee a future where I'm not around anymore. And I have to give this toy the input it needs to go on its own and make its own little smaller toys, polypocket-sized Sunday. Oh wow. Can you imagine them in little diapers? I can't. Yeah. That would be so sweet. It would be very cute. Very cute. It's basically, we're basically talking about batteries, not included at this point. Yeah, that's the movie where the alien robot gets mistaken for a hamburger. Yeah, they flip a cheese on it. Yeah, I miss that one.

Oh, you miss that one. It's like from the same time, right? Yeah, it's the one where I, it's the Tronomy. She is the star. I think they might, there might be, it's the one where I, it's the Tronami chi is the star. I think they might, there might be a connection. Let me check this actually. That is not included from 1987, so it's a year before short circuit two. Yeah.

And that's the one where like a, like a, a building is going to get torn down, but luckily these little robots save the day from outer space, their outer space robots, right? But it's also, but it's like little, they space. They're outer space robots, right? But it's also another movie where it's like, they're outer space robots. Yeah, but it's like the little robots in the big city. Yeah. Much like the show Caroline and the city, which is also about a robot in a city.

Robot is, yeah, it's Caroline stands for what was it? It was classification, awesome robot, or living intelligence, not electronic. But it is not a, it's not a green algorithm. Yeah. I, you know, I remembered correctly, one of the writers of this movie wrote batteries not included. No.

Oh, there is a connection. Oh, and Mick Garrus had the story. Brad bird had a screenplay ready. Wow. Yeah, he's been around for a while. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I'm going to say bad news. I'm going to say bad news. I'm going to say bad news. It should have been better. Brad Bird works very good. Well, it's not like he was young at the time. Anyway, so, so Johnny five gets seen. Oh, actually, this is the question I want to ask. So, did any of you guys grow up in the New York or New Jersey area? No, I grew five gets seen. Oh, actually, this is the question I want to ask. So, did any of you guys grow up in the New York or New Jersey area?

No, I grew up in Jersey. Okay, so you grew up seeing crazy Eddie commercials on TV. Oh, for sure. Like I did. So, Dan and Stu, were you familiar, if you had seen this as a kid, would you know this as a reference to a real thing? Was crazy Eddie a national enough chain that you would have seen in these commercials? I was familiar with the trope of crazy Eddie, a national enough chain that you would have seen in these commercials. I was familiar with the trope of crazy Eddie. Like crazy pitch.

Style. Yeah, but I don't know that. And the Saturday night live did a bit, right? Yeah. Did you guys ever see the question mark guy? Oh, yeah. Matthew Lesco. Matthew Lesco, well, he was, his was all about, you know, the government's giving out free money by my book.

And so a friend of mine, he tells me a story I love where he was at a hotel and saw Matthew Lesko, the question mark guy, checking in and he was like, he introduced himself and said, like, hey, big fan. And the guy went, the government is suing me. Because apparently a lot of those programs are not really meant for anybody to just apply and get free money from the government. Yeah, well, it's like subsidies, it's right basically. Yeah, I think you do need to be a turn up farmer to get that turn up farming subsidy.

You can't just say that the house is a turn up farm. So anyway, the bad guys, they see Johnny through the window and they decide they need to smash him. So the next morning, Johnny five, he shows off all these new features and stickers he's got. He does the first of infinite manic Mike crazy, any impressions that he does throughout the movie. Maybe he only does it a couple times, but it seems like a lot. And Ben goes off to sign the contracts with the department store and me and, oh, and we've already seen that that Ben has fallen asleep the night before while studying for the citizenship test. He's studying and becoming American citizen. It really makes you wonder how we worked on that top secret military robot program in the first movie

without being a naturalized citizen. But hey, you know, that things were looser in the 80s. I don't know. And while talking to Fred Fred, let's slip that they're in a city. Uh oh, they're in a city input. Johnny five goes out and goes sightseeing. He's making jockey observations about everything. And of course, we're to believe that there's like, Dare like to warehouse is in the middle of town. Yeah. Yeah.

Right across the street is like a big business. Plyas. It's, yeah. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, there honest, there are times when that happens, but it's, yeah, it's usually not cheap by jowel. I guess like a like now.

Well, also the thing. Yeah, exactly. The funny thing about it too was like, as soon as he finds out that there's an exciting city outside, he wipes the grime off the window and looks out, and then it's like a series of shots of the most uninspiring things, like just like, like a van, like driving by or whatever. And, you know, I'm so naive even at my advanced stage that it didn't even

occur to me. I'm like, oh, of course, this wasn't shot in New York. But I'm like, why are they showing this? Like, why isn't he like looking outside and being like, oh, the Chrysler building or what? Like something, yeah, that genuinely would be like, oh, the Chrysler building or what is it? Like something, yeah. That genuinely would be like, oh, I gotta get out and see the sights, you know? Yeah, well, even if they weren't really shooting there,

they could just get a stock shot of some exciting. Exactly. But more like, oh, look, a mailbox is outside. I have to imagine that the director was like, this movie needs to establish a certain level of realism. Or the audience will never fall in love with Johnny Five. We can't just have people believe all these things are happening outside the window, we only can show the things that are really happening outside the window.

It's not very much. He goes, he, of course, he plays, like mentioned, we mentioned earlier, he plays three card Monty and almost gets in a fight. He meets the, it meets the Los Locos street gang who have the immortal rhyme, which I still remembered to this day, even before I watch the movie. Guys, you want to do it for me? What's the Los Locos rhyme?

Up. You can do it, Eli. You seem primed for this one. Okay, so this, if you want me to say it, Los Locos kick your ass, Los Locos kick your face, Los Locos kick your balls into outer space.

And this was something in my friend's. As a child, and we were seven. Coolest funniest thing I've ever heard. We thought it was the funniest thing. It was the toughest thing. We thought it was so amazing. As a kid, we all thought they were called Los Lobos, which sounds cooler than Los Locos.

But yeah, it's, it was amazing how there's so many, I can never fully remember people's birthdays. And yet before the movie started, started playing, I was saying that Los Locos rhymed to myself. This is ridiculous. It's also such a funny conception of a street gang. It's like, okay, these guys are really tough. So they're going to have a rhyme. I'm going to have a slight, a slight angel.

A long piece of cake. Well, you want people to remember you. And the best way to do that is with a cool rhyming jingle. Yeah. Well, you want people to remember you. And the best way to do that is with a clear rhyming jingle. Yeah. And so they convinced him to steal a bunch of car stereos. And then he's a part of the game. What do they say? They say they are, oh, they're like part of the stereo department or something. They have some kind of like funny. They talk about how they work for the city cleaning people's stereos and then bringing them back and they go, oh, because he works so long. That's his gunna cover. And Johnny five, he doesn't know. He's never experienced. No one's

ever lied to him before. He's never even seen the movie, the invention of lying. It wasn't made yet. So he can't see the show lie to me. It didn't exist at the time. So, you know, yeah. And so he joins the gang. And I think I thought the thing I did spray painted. He sprayed it. Exciting colors. They give him a wild style. Yeah. Yeah. Think over. Yeah. And he gets a vest. Yeah. A little bit of street wear. Yeah. Yeah. And he gets found and returned back to his headquarters by Oscar Baldwin, a nice man who works at the bank across the street, paid by Jack Weston, who is an actor that was in a thousand million things. And he comes back, he offends Ben with the Loas Locos rhyme, Ben is very angry at him.

And Johnny is sad to learn that he was tricked. And he's like, why is everyone in the city so angry all the time? Why do they get so angry at me all the time? And there's part of me that was like, Johnny five, that's a good question. Why are cities hives of aggression? Why do they bring out the worst in people sometimes? But also, you're very annoying. You're very annoying robot.

You're bumbling around saying annoying things. Like, that's why they get mad at you. It's you, a lot of the time, Johnny five. Yeah, but it is like the whole theme of this movie and so much as there is one is like Johnny five is alienated because no one will believe that he's alive. Yes, they think he's a toy or a stunt or a puppet or yeah. Yeah, and at the end his big triumph is getting citizenship.

And it's interesting that like for all that, for all that this movie makes so many like racial mistakes, it also is like trying to make a stab at like this idea of like inclusivity because like yeah, Ben also like bonds with Johnny five over this idea feeling like he's the other and lonely in the city, which, you know, in a much smarter movie would be interesting. But like it. Well, and it's also one of the things we're done well. That's a statement on how we dehumanize people who are different, but done poorly, it is

saying that this Indian man has worn common with a robot and with a wife, which is terrible, which is a terrible message. Yeah. Like like any movie, like any movie where movie where an indigenous person is like an amazing tracker and is closer to the animal spirits than other people. Like that's not a main, that's not. He's named Hawk, Ellie. Fair point, fair point.

So that night the crooks break in, they try to attack Johnny and he throws them out while quipping a lot. The next morning, Fred learns that Johnny is an $11 million robot and wants to sell him. And Ben is like, no, he's my friend. And he takes Ben to lunch to distract him and convinces him to go ask Sandy out so that he can go take Johnny five and try to sell him. And but Johnny five gets, he gets distracted by a big bookstore. He loves all the input and he takes two books as Fred kind of hustles him out of there. The crooks try to break into the factory again. They want to burn it down.

But Johnny five has set up a bunch of traps that and that also involve a recording of him quipping. So even when he's not there, he gets to quip loudly. This movie runs on quips. So Fred, Fred takes Johnny five of this company to sell him. And I was confused here. Maybe you guys can help me with this. The people walking into the room seem to know about the Nova Corporation robots that Johnny was part of. They're talking to each other and they're like, I thought they destroyed all those Nova Corporation robots.

But then when they get in the room with Johnny Fieb, they're like, okay, so how does he work? Is it like a remote control? Like, where are you controlling him from? And so it's like a second ago, they knew what this was and now they don't. Like, are they trying to con Fred Ben explain it to me, please? In the first movie, the difference between Johnny and the other robots is they don't have consciousness. Uh-huh. So they're, they, they understand them to be traditional robots and that they don't speak. I see. And they are just programmed. Whereas Johnny is a free

thinker. Yeah. So wait, do these other robots like watch TV and then mimic what they watched and I mean, they, they're built so that they could do that if they wanted to. But they, they probably don't because they weren't hit by lightning and given the power of conscious. Correct. Yeah. That's why the same thing happened to Benjamin Franklin with the kite and the key experiment was he has hit by lightning and suddenly he could think for himself and was repeating

stuff from TV all the time. Yeah. And it made the other founding fathers very irritated that he would they'd they'd be like a band. It's your turn to sign the declaration of independence. And he was like, I'm going to do it because I'm crazy. I'm crazy and I'm out of the space and they're like, please stop. We know you saw that commercial bend. So that happens when he ate it by lightning. I guess. And Johnny five is like, you're trying to sell

me, but I'm alive. I will be a slave and he falls out of a window. Luckily, he does have a hang lighter that comes out of his back and he lands at a sculpture garden where a spectator calls him repulsive. That comes out of his back and he lands at a sculpture garden where a spectator calls him repulsive. I was worried about Johnny five when he fell out that window. I got to admit that you're really going to be worried when he gets beaten all the shit with a crowbar later on. This will be really played on my emotions with the way that it treated Johnny five because he goes through some shit and he's like I was not as irritated as Elliot. I'm like,

this is just a naive, innocent robot in the city who's almost being destroyed at every turn. But like, I was worried when he was falling at the window because it seems to happen for a very long time. And he's like, he has a lot of time to think about it. He's like, oh, this isn't good, you know, Gravity, philosophy, falling in ex-miles, pretending to be an outlet. Yeah, he's, it's a very tall building, Dan. It takes a whole while to, yeah, put his hang lighter out. You know what?

Wait a minute, he's like a robot in the city and he falls in with some crooks and he gets beaten up a lot. They just rip off Chappy with this movie. Wait a minute, short circuit two is just a rip off of Chappy, guys. Yeah, yeah. This is crazy. I can't believe there Circuit 2 is just a rip off of Chappy, guys. Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy.

I can't believe there's so blatantly rip off Chappy. I'm sure we said the same thing when we reviewed Chappy all those years ago. That we said that Chappy is a rip off of Chappy. Yeah. So Sandy is getting chewed out by her boss for trying to sell junk at the store when Ben walks in and she's stressed. He tries to make awkward chit chat He doesn't even recognize that he's trying to ask her out and so want want Ben He just couldn't pull it off this time Johnny five. He has the bread. I do you have to steal some clothes

So he'll fit in so he steals the most enormous shirt in the world And a hat right? He's very broad shoulders, you know, he's a robot hat, right? It's very strong shoulders, you know, he's a robot. He's a robot. Yeah, but that shirt, who would wear that shirt? Who is wearing this shirt? That's the size of a robot. It's, it's astounding. He goes on the big and tall robot store. Should we describe what Johnny looks like? Yeah, maybe some of the people out there that are not going to even bother to watch. If you've seen this. This walley. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like a big walley. Yeah. It's like a big walley. Uh, well, basically, he's got, he's got tank tread feet. Sure. Sure. Yeah.

I want somebody to draw this robot base exclusively on this. His body is like a reclining chair. Yeah. Look to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the internal structure of a reclining chair. Yes. And he's got two long arms with like,

with robo fingers at the ends. And then his head is like kind of like wallies. It's like a flat, it almost looks like a boom box. But he's got two waggly eyebrow tops. I would say, and I don't know why they put that on the robot, to be honest. I don't know why the robot has, it looks like a, it looks like a view master sort of with, you know, the head. And then the, yeah, it has these flat pieces of metal that are eyebrows, which are also

the brilliant thing about wallese design, which I think honestly took a lot from this. You know, it shows a lot of emotion. And this was designed by a guy who worked on Tron and Blade Runner. I think it's a really cool design. Who was it that Sid made who designed him, right? Yeah. And the, and it's performed by a Muppet performer who does the voice as well.

And I think that probably did the movements because I read that they had it set up. So, you know, it's, it was like motion capture. They had like, yeah, like a guy and like a suit that moves around like a skexy, moved and then I will say. I will say. And that puppeteer Tim Blaney, he worked on mystery science theater when I worked on it. He was one of the bot puppeteers. And I just, I was too nervous to talk to him about Johnny Five. And someone just point him out and they go, you know, he's Johnny Five, right? And I was like, what?

Because I hadn't seen the short circuit movies in years and still liked Johnny Five. And now having watched short circuit too again, I don't like him anymore. But it was, yeah. Yeah. But it was still, I was still super impressed that the guy who did the the puppeteering was working for it You know, it was work on that on the show. Yes, but it was only watching this movie that I realized that Johnny Five has a nose to that there's like a bump in between his eyes that looks like a nose and there are times when he kind of looks like if Erkel was a robot even more than the Erkel bot looks like if Erkel was a robot. Oh, really trusting, yeah. And his body position is a little bit like,

prove me wrong. Have you ever sat in one of those ergonomic chairs where you're like, feet are kind of under you a little bit? Like it's almost like you're sitting on your knees kind of, you know what I'm talking about? That's kind of what I'm saying. It's kind of like, that's kind of what you would find spotty posture. Yeah, he's always a kind of meditation system.

Yeah. His eyes are apertures and like a camera. And I do feel like it's effective too to like that's another aspect of like how he's expressive. Yeah. Yes. I mean, of all the issues with this movie, the design of Johnny five and the puppeteering of Johnny five are not one of them.

Like it's amazing. Yeah, it's it's in this one and last one, it's an amazing puppeteering job. Like for all that, you know, you're watching a movie, you never feel like you're not watching a robot rolling around talking and interacting with things. Like he always does a live in robot. Yeah. Yeah. I've kind of a nose and it's like, it's like a, but it's like a black kind of, uh, you know, box, boxy nose. And that's covering some of the, uh, the eyebrows give some kind of, you know, box, boxy nose.

And that's covering some fact. With the eyebrows, give some kind of a groucho look that I like. Yeah. I also, oh, sorry. I was just saying, it's kind of weird. I don't know that he ever does a groucho impression. Maybe in the first one, he does look like groucho.

So sorry, Ben, you're gonna say. I like the design, like I, like of the robot itself, the aesthetic where I like on Blink Check. I regularly always love to talk about old school graphics, visual effects. And I feel like the Apple aesthetic, that sleek kind of aesthetic, it's just so nice to see this throwback kind of a rector set looking kind of robot. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. It's like Foxy almost cobbled together. Yeah. Yeah. It's got wires and things. Yeah. You're saying you're saying the opposite of the two art critics who see him in the sculpture

garden. Right. Who are like that. Yeah. Yeah. Who are like the classic 80s style like, you know, like yuppie hipster types. Nowadays, nowadays, I look at them and I'm like, man, they look fucking cool. Yeah.

They do look cool. Clark, Clark, Chris Wald is just off camera ready to like, jump some shit on them or something. Watching, watching Christmas vacation now, I'm like, why are they fucking with those cool people? Yeah. Yeah, like they have that house. I want to have it. I mean, that might be I've said it before. I've been on a record that Christmas vacation is the first movie I remember seeing and thinking, I don't like this. I think what I'm watching.

Like, what am I doing wrong? I don't like what I'm seeing right now. It has a weird sourness. Yeah, yeah. But I agree, Ben, that there is something very refreshing about this old school design that looks like a machine. It doesn't, it's not rounded and cute and smooth and sleek and, you know, it doesn't look like a toy, which is ironic because they're making toys of him. So Ben wants, so Johnny Fives rolling around, he sees a church and there's a sign that says looking for answers and he goes in and goes into confession.

And the priest is surprisingly accepting and he keeps talking about how everyone has a soul and he's alive. Then he sees it's a machine and he kicks him out of the church. Oh boy, talk about talk about a harsh satirical statement on the non inclusiveness of Catholicism, I guess. And he says he can't confess by remote control. He's very offended by it. So obviously, so Johnny Five has made making trouble in a bookstore, making trouble in a church. He probably making trouble in

a bubble just like in Biodome. And he's cop, stop him and arrest him. And he does a John love its impression. And they give him, they take mug shot, sub him and everything. Even though they put him in the stolen property room and Ben is brought in to get him. And he finds the books that Johnny five took from the bookstore, Frankenstein and Pinocchio. Obviously Johnny five is from the bookstore, Frankenstein and Pinocchio. Obviously, Johnny five is working through some issues. The cop, one of the, like, there's like some cop that has a really funny, like, take, uh, where he's just like, mug shots. Like, are you fucking serious? Yeah. Yeah. And uh, that night, like, I'm gonna get one line. I'm gonna fucking nail it.

And that night, I'm gonna get one line. I'm gonna fucking nail it. I'm gonna do it as big as possible is I hope there's a take of him going, long shots and falling over backwards like his feet just are coming out of the frame like a bazooka Joe comic. No one falls like that anymore. No, where you get all the way up. Yeah. And people used to fall like that constantly just from what stuff people said to them. They were Flip day. And people used to fall like that constantly just from what the stuff people said to them. They were just shocked. I hate being that guy. It's like, you know, talking about like Gen Z and stuff. Yeah. It's just like we don't get like slips like we used to.

Yeah. If people get to stop spending all their money on avocado toast and start falling out of frame so that you can see their legs more. Yeah. Back back when we were growing up, if someone told you something surprising, you would just flip backwards and just. I mean, bull over and and there wasn't all this free pornography everywhere. You had to work hard to get it.

You had to put your reputation on the line to go to a public place that sold it and these things. They just don't have a train station and find some lying around the tracks. We're going to a person. Yeah, one of the woods in New Jersey and dig the mother where some old man has left them. Yeah. And you find the bag of magazines and you discover it, you fall backwards. Surprise.

Kick your feet. Yeah. Unfortunately, a lot of a lot of young men died hitting their heads on rocks and trees after finding pornography. That was the original plot of bridge to terabity. I still remember. Was they found, was they, he went out into the woods by himself and found porn and that's why he died.

Oh, that's why it's so sad. I still remember being in a B Dalton at our local mall and going and like I was in the humor section or whatever and someone had stuck a pit house back there and I, you know, it's like I've, it's like finding buried treasure and yeah, I don't know why those ladies decided to go roller blading in the nude. But God bless them. Yeah. Yeah. See you. Like I hate to write you dance because someone was paying them to take pictures of them or relating it. What?

Yeah. This isn't like life magazine. We're doing it for the love of the game. Why don't we? So let's not cheapen our nude rollerblading by accepting money for it. So did the B&B Dalton just stand for books? Yeah, books, it's gotta be, right? I think so.

I mean, it's have founded by Dalton from Roadhouse. Maybe he was trying to separate himself from his, oh, maybe it's Bouncer Dalton. That's what it stands for. Yeah, probably is Bouncer Dalton. Correct. Okay. So that night, Johnny five tells Ben he's feeling lonely, Ben admits he's lonely too. He's afraid Sandy is going to reject him. Johnny five decides to help him with all the romantic input. He picked up at the bookstore. And the next day the robbers are like, you know what, let's get the robots to steal the jewels.

And we find out their man on the inside of the bank is Oscar Baldwin, the nice man at the bank who befriended Johnny. He says, all handle the robot. You just keep doing what you do. And Johnny five helps Ben accidentally on purpose run into Sandy. And then he broadcasts that he likes to do. Yeah,

to broadcast things for Ben to say, which already from the beginning, the things he's saying are not good, but then a cat jumps on Johnny five. And for somehow this somehow this messes with his broadcasting. So now he's broadcasting advertisements and things and offensive things in Spanish. And this is a, I'm sorry for everybody. I mean, this is a scene that I remember most clearly from watching this countless times as a kid because I don't know. I really actually genuinely laughed at when, you know, like, because Ben is apparently

willing to say whatever Johnny five. He doesn't read it and then think about it. He just reads it. He starts reading it as he's saying it. And so by the end of each of us, it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken. Like he never stopped. He never doesn't finish it. He always says the whole thing.

That is a specific moment that really made me laugh as a kid, the tough man to make a tender chicken. Because then also there's a little like very old time like pixel animation of like a man punching a chicken. And it just like gives this quizzical look. But before this, like, yeah, Johnny Fives, Cirono is not very good because like, you know, she'll just say something like the word stage and he'll be like, and Johnny Files like, oh, I know a quote about stage.

You know, all the worlds of stage. And yeah, it doesn't seem like it's good dating advice. Another part of this moment in the movie is then a man shows up with I guess peanuts and balloons The night selling balloons And who's buying balloons in the middle of the night? On your way home you're in the doghouse. Did you buy? It's my anniversary. I got to get some balloons and peanuts on the beach. Yeah.

Booth things over with a big bunch of balloons. I missed. There used to be a guy who would go to all the bars and park slope selling athletic socks. And it's probably the same sort of thing, right? Like buying socks from the sock guy. And I feel like going to a bar like, yeah, a lot of our bartenders need new socks. So it was a pretty good deal. Yeah, that was a good idea. And so Ben, he admits the whole thing. I have a friend who's broadcasting. You're seeing me. Yeah. Sorry. I can see it. Every single time I'm like,

I'm not hanging out with Johnny. You wish. Well, I'll say, I would say Fisher Stevens, but he so disappears into the part of Ben that, you know, it's not really him. He does put 110% in. Yeah. So, so Fisher Stevens, he admits that it's all a ruse they put together. And this wins over Sandy instantly. In the way this happens, always in sitcoms and movies, which like, you made such a big effort for me.

It's like, why didn't you say something? Why were you doing all this which like you made such a big effort for me. It's like, what did you say something? Why were you doing all this weird shit? You wanted to lie to me. And so they start bonding over their love of old time rock and roll. And Johnny Files helps the catch your cat. A new characteristic of Sandy that we haven't heard. And a new characteristic of Ben to be honest. Yeah.

For some reason, this was the part that really hung up, hung Audrey up that like all of a sudden we learned that she's like, Sandy, all we knew about Sandy is that she was a nice girl. We didn't like, no, like, her one quality was like just kind of vaguely nice. And now she's like, she loves rock music. And I'm like, why are you getting more hung up on the fact that she seems immediately interested in Fisher Stevens, even though he's been acting super weird

and had this creepy, like, skiing to talk to her. Yeah. Well, and then as soon as she agrees to go out with him for more a robot jumps out, shoots a suction cup dart at a taxi cab, reels it back into that for them, and then they get in it and drive away. Like, that's a big red flag,

it's starting a relationship. If this guy is followed around by a violent robot that essentially is stealing a car. Like, ladies, if he shows up on the first day and he got a giant robot I think that's a red flag. So second location with the guy who was a big robot. So the next day they delivered the toys to the department store and I have to admit, I had lost track and I thought they were still making them. I don't know where Johnny five found the time, what was getting arrested and rolling around the city and going to church, but apparently he finished all those robots. So that deadline is no longer hanging over them.

The stakes for that are over. Yeah. Also, he just is like having a conversation with the delivery man. Yeah. And like, it's like this thing where sometimes, all right, fine, he's on the street. Yeah. Like, he's just rolling by, like New Yorkers. New Yorkers are like, okay, whatever.

Yeah, yeah. I got time. I got time to ask follow up questions. Sure. I mean, there you stay in this person, you know, it's like, you're like, oh questions. Sure, even like, you're a famous person. You know, it's like, you're like, Oh, I got to respect them. It's like the same with the robot.

Yeah, they're used to seeing Murray Futterman walking out the street fighting a bat, Gremlin. Like they're, they're, they're, New Yorkers aren't phased by very much. I'd frog in a pig might get out of a car and go to a diner. Jason might kick a boom box. You know, Tom and Jerry might, like, you know,

show up in a hotel. I do. There's a big gorilla climbing climbing a skyscraper. Well, don't look up. They'll know you're a tourist. Don't look at that gorilla. Like, yeah, it's Mark. They've seen it all, you know, Santa Claus shows up working in a department store for some reason. You know, the state of Mark smell a man. Bill the coach are in a bunch of other gangs are going to have a big fight. Yeah, baseball furious. Yeah. Bill Murray can't seem to get out of the city and he's dressed like a clown.

Yes, New York, they've seen it all. There's a lady giving birth to Satan's baby, you know, to have New York. Only in New York. But yeah, so now he's just having a conversation with the delivery guy and the delivery guy is just rousing Johnny five constantly. He's like, take me to your Oh, like making robot and alien jokes. And it's like, are you not astounded that a robot is handing off these items for you deliver?

He's sending me the most charge. Yeah, like this has to be the most exciting thing that's ever happened to in your delivery job. But I guess again, he's seen it all. He's accepting packages from time travelers. I guess it's a top rounds after this to get packages. Like he goes to the, he goes to another warehouse and a xenomorph walks out and hands him like a supply of candy that has to go to a store like this guy. He's seen it all. So when they're finished, Ben comes back from his date, implying that he spends the night with Sandy, which is just crazy. Yeah. It's a full, full on day at this point.

Yeah. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it.

And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it.

And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And he's smoking his finger at it. And when the robbers come in and kidnap them and Oscar jumps out and he distracts Johnny five and then talks him into digging a tunnel ostensibly to keep Ben safe. He's worried about Ben. This is a big city. Let's make him a scape tunnel that he can get dug in. Meanwhile, Ben and Fred, they get thrown into a freezer in the back of a Chinese restaurant and they argue and then they make up and then Ben reveals that Johnny five is alive and

will die if he runs out of electric power. I don't remember why he was worried about that at that moment, but because as far as they know, they don't know that Johnny five has been talked into digging a robbery tunnel. But they're worried about it. And as Johnny five digs Oscar, complains about his job and how he handles all this money, but he never gets any of it. And Johnny five comes out and hugs him, which I did think was a funny moment in the movie Oscar complains about his job and how he handles all this money, but he never gets any of it. And Johnny five comes out and hugs him, which I did think was a funny moment in the movie that he takes a break from being being an unwitting criminal to do hug this guy. It only thing that would have made it funnier is if he had hugged him too hard and crushed

him. And then was like, Oh, no, no, Oscar. Oh, no, because I want to do. Yeah, Ben has to take it. But we're still all in shoot him. Oh no, because I want to do. Yeah, Ben has to take it. But where's the ball? And shoot him. And now Ben has apparently been in the freezer for a day for hours because he's like, oh, I'm missing my other date with Sandy.

They made a date for the next night and Sandy is all dressed up waiting for him. And the only way they can get in touch with her is, so okay. So somehow I guess he had a big calculator with this. This is wild. This is with this. This is wild. This is fucking crazy. This is wild. It makes no sense. There's a currently unused phone line in the freezer that they're in.

I guess in case someone needed to make a really private call, whether you're doing an inventory over the phone. And he managed to turn a freezer phone and you're walking freezer. Uh, yeah, I should get one. I don't because my cell service is so bad in freezer? Oh, yeah, I should get one. I don't, because my cell service is so bad in my walk-in freezer, which by the way has very little in it. There's not a lot, they don't need a walk-in freezer.

There's like 10 ducks in there, I think, and that's about it. And they shouldn't be handling frozen ducks. They should be getting fresh ducks, cooking them right away, hanging them in the window to entice me to come in, because nothing looks more delicious to me than a freshly shellacked Chinese food duck hanging in the window. Guys, is there any way to resist it? They look so delicious.

They are delicious. I do like the Mike and McCain just keeps breaking over boxes, open boxes and it's like, it's more like lobsters or whatever. Like he's completely nonplussed about like what's he expecting to find like a lock picking kit like. Yeah. I thought maybe there might be one of those holes from Roger Rabbit that we can I'm blust about. Like was he expecting to find like a lock picking kit? Like, you know, yeah, I thought maybe there might be one of those holes from Roger Rabbit that we get from onto a wall and a hospital.

And so he, but he manages, so Ben is such a genius. I mean, he, he invented a sentient robot with some help from lightning. Maybe there's lightning in the freezer that helps him build this, that he takes his huge calculator and which I don't know where he was keeping it under his shirt, maybe. And he turns it into a device that can transmit Morse code over the phone line and also call over the phone line. So they managed to call Sandy's number but he doesn't know Morse

code. So he taps out a series of classic rock songs each of which has a clue in it to direct her from her own partner to the rest of her other in order. Yeah. And it starts with help me, Rhonda. And that's how she knows, oh, it must be Ben who needs help. Who else would tap out the sound to help me, Rhonda, on my answering machine? It's, this is, there's so many leaps of logic.

And it is by far the zaniest thing that happens in the movie. If you got that message, you would be like a ghost just trying to connect with me over the phone. Or is that just like, yeah, like, I don't know. I guess it's too early for like, it to be the internet. But I was like, I think something called me, yeah, I think something called me, or just like, oh, there's something wrong with the phone line. I wouldn't be like, hmm, this beeping sounds kind of like,

help me Rhonda. I guess I better go find my new boyfriend. Well, and I like that he- I must use my escape room skills to help them. And it seems like he continues doing the song long enough for her to recognize what it is. I guess a build in that window of like, okay, she's gonna hear it. It's gonna take her a little while to figure this out.

So I'm going to just keep doing it for a bit. I do what I do like what this leads to though, which is like her driving all around town in a taxi and the taxi driver just like immediately getting on board with this and just like being like a museum. And because this is the 80s, he is a Russian cab driver who loves American music. Because in the 80s, Russians in movies were always crazy about it. They loved America. They're like, oh, this is great.

Oh, yeah. And so I've seen Red Heat. I know all about it. Yeah. Exactly. The bass starts playing and they go, the docs, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Broadway head down to Broadway. And so he knows all the songs too.

And he's just up for this scavenger hunt adventure. And I'm sure the fair is gonna be enormous. Like this is, it's a long drive. Yeah. So she finds them apparently no one, there's no one in the restaurant at all because she can just walk in and open up the freezer. Which correct me if I'm wrong.

Usually if you walk into a restaurant, they don't just allow you to go in and open up the freezer, which correct me if I'm wrong, usually if you walk into a restaurant, they don't just allow you to go in and open up the freezer and just explore. You know, you take a page on shift. Loas Locos, she was like, I'm from the city's freezer department. Yeah. I thought you meant that she kicked their ass, their face, and their balls. And they flew into the stratosphere. Yeah, they flew into orbit.

And so Johnny five, he finally cuts into the bank vault and he realized that and Austria takes the jewels and Johnny five is like, wait a minute, this is a bank vault. Those are famous jewels that I recognize. We're stealing and Oscar runs off and Johnny five runs off. And then the bad guys chase him. And this is when they beat him up with crowbars so badly that they're just smashing his body apart and there's sparks flying out and there's oil or fluid coming out of him.

It's horrific. It's real. I have to imagine when I was a kid, this must have really a life. It's like the opening of fucking Robocomp, right? Yeah, it is. When Murphy gets all glass in, it just stressed me as an adult, like when like the like red battery food splatters over like the one guy who's like, you know what I'm saying, this is artificial intelligence, like the criminal who kind of has is sympathetic

a little bit to Johnny five. Yeah. You can't destroy this. And it makes him the worst criminal though. Yeah. I just like the horror of it. And because he knows that what he's doing is bad and he does it anyway. Yeah.

And all while Johnny five is like, don't, don't disassemble. I'm alive. Yeah, yeah. And Josh was going, kill him, kill him. Like it's horrible. The whole thing is horrible. And up to this point, up to this point, Johnny five has been super bad ass.

Like every other time they've tried to like physically stop him, he just whips their ass and like throws him around. Like he's the bionic woman. Yeah. I guess maybe he's tired from from all that digging in the tunnel. And he's confused. So he's able to use his antenna to call some remote control airplanes over to chase away the bad guys, which I don't think would work in real life. No, it's the scariest thing ever.

If a model airplane flew at me, that's actually. I would say dang busy. I would say, okay, and now you're talking about me right now, a normal guy walking on the street. Yes, but if I was in the middle of, be of killing a robot with a robot, I feel like I would be the last point of a hotler like, bring on more synthetics.

I will destroy the robot. I'll take them all on, oh, the rise of the machines. I don't think so, smash, smash, smash. I'll take them all on. Oh, the rise of the machines. I don't think so. Smash, smash, smash. I have a taste for oil. This is for the meat puppets. Cut our strings. No more, you know, not the bands.

The breaking fingers. I'm in a break it's fingers. I'm going to rage against these machines. Yeah, let's do this. And then they're just bloodites. They're just smashing printing presses and sewing machines. But so the planes chase them off. And now Johnny five, there's a readout that on that shows the as two hours left to total memory failure.

Oh no. And the cops come up through the bank tunnel just as Ben and Sandy show up. They arrest Ben and Sandy. Fred sees the cop car and runs off looking for Johnny five. As mutilated, Johnny five is rolling through the city. He steals a car battery, but it doesn't really help him that much. And Fred finally finds them. And Johnny five can't even talk anymore. So he has to write, I'm dying in chalk on a wall. And it's really sad. It's really sad. And there's, he's like, get Ben and Fred is like, Ben's arrested. So they go to a radio shack, which luckily in the middle of the day is not open and nobody is there. Now, you're probably one like real radio shacks now.

You're probably wondering Stuart Wellington, former employee of Radio Shack. Oh, shit. Yeah, I was a manager of a radio shack store for a while. And am I an expert? Do I think you could fix a Johnny five in there? I would say no. No. No. Now, was it you're right. Yeah. You were right. Yeah. That's true. I mean, they couldn't get a cell phone. Then it was 1988, but Stewart was it your idea when you were

a radio shack that the radio shack Twitter feed should be super horny and a real douche? Uh, yeah. That was my idea. I sent an email to the corporate. I never heard that. Years later. Do you say, do you're Mr. Shack? Your Twitter feed should be super horny, you know, totally unprofessional way. And they said, and it stacked up in his emails. And he finally got to just like, hey, we need a good idea. We need to pivot away from all this Lance Armstrong content. They were pushing for a long time.

Like, not the coolest dude. So, so, so Johnny, you know, you say, tell me more about it, Mr. Shack. I was imagining old Mr. Radio Shack being mad at the horny Twitter. I mean, like, my store has always been a store we can go and get those fiber objects that glow at one end that are a decoration. I guess some people want to store for families. It's a family store where you can go in looking for something and the people working there don't know what it is or what's going on. And then you leave. That's what I was worried when I started this company. I ran a store in Park Sl slope and like 90% of it was people wanting the cable to connect their Macbook to their TV. And I'm like every time like you need an extra dongle that they don't

sell here. It's a very exciting time. Yeah. Yeah. And so Johnny five he's able to type out instructions to Fred and Fred is able to fix him, but he still needs a new battery and he needs wiring to get his memory to power. And he's kind of only half coherent. He's talking gibberish. He keeps calling Fred Durf. I assume in a reference to my friend, Dom, or author, Durf back there. Yeah, Durf back there.

Yeah. And Johnny five learns that the bad guy is only kidnapped Ben and Fred, but they tried to destroy him. And he goes, oh, kidnapped the humans, destroy the machine. And that makes him really mad. And so what does he do? He gets punk as hell. Yeah, he gets fucking badass.

This is what I remember from the movie is when he becomes like a super badass looking to do with chains hanging off and spiked. Because he has stuff on the lock. It's basically like one of, it's supposed to be, I think one of those piercings that's like from your ear to your nose. I feel like it's what they were very cool. It's, it's, it's Gizmo getting all Rambo up in Gremlins too. It's not quite as cool as that.

I mean, Gizmo has Rambo's like, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. And also because Gizmo legitimately, he uses a flaming pencil as an arrow to kill a spidergremlin. Like that's a main torture. The whole movie up to that point. And when he finally flips, like the audience just loses their fucking minds. Oh, they go nuts. It's right up there with Yoda fighting Count Duku at the end of episode two when you're like, what? What did I didn't know this little dude could do this? You find out who's the man. Yoda man.

I can't believe that was a real commercial. I cannot like and that was a commercial they dropped after release where they're like, we'd use up these sales. We didn't realize we didn't realize this was the breakout moment was Yoda kicking ass. So well, well, now we'll really start and the commercials look so fake looking like they look so cheaply quickly produced. But it reminded me of when that movie bringing down the house. I think that was it came out with when you Jean Levy had the line, you got me straight

trip and boo. And they started adding a word balloon that said that to the to the average, the print advertisements to be like, this is the movie where he says it in case in case you don't know this movie as you got me straight trip and boo it's this movie. This is the movie where you do what he says. They must have had an argument that like don't give it away for free. Like no, no, no, the value of hearing him say it in the theater. Yeah.

And the crowd reaction that's going to sell itself. Don't worry about it. Yeah, don't worry. We want people to know that you just don't want to be standing around the fucking water cooler on Monday morning and have somebody say that shit and you not have like a blank look on your face. Well, everybody else in the office is going to have my head. Specifically is referencing. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to feel like you don't get it.

Yeah. Exactly. So that's why you got to know who you know, who you know, demand is. And who says, who's got, who says you got me straight, tripping boo and who got the, who's the boo? Who's got the, what circumstance is called the tripping? Yeah. Remember it is the movie them saying, Yoda man. They don't know they don't just film the campaign. Okay. It was just in the campaign. They show it's like a bit with Yoda, like right before Yoda

shows up and fights can't do you. But the commercial, like, they either, do they actually have like a, like a voiceover artist say? The way I remember it is they had an announcer say, who demand, Yoda man. And the words, Yoda man came up on screen. Very, very cheaply CGI'd on. Like, and this is on over footage from a Star Wars movie.

So, it's like, it's a top desire he top desire he's gonna send us a very sternly word. Yeah, he's gonna have to explain to us how expensive those words were. But it was what those words were worth, much like William Wordsworth, the guy who came up with the Yoda Man ad campaign. When he gets being a poet, it doesn't pay very much. He's from his poem, I wandered lonely as a cloud that close on high over your demand. And so there's a, that's what brings people to the law house. Ben's face right now that like witnessing this in person for the first time, like the full

force of Elliott and laughing, but also putting his head down with the running his head. It is. Very tired by it. Now, does this bring back Griffin flashbacks? How does this, what is this? Oh, does it, because right, yeah, I feel like Elliott, you get comparisons to Griffin on occasion.

Yeah, I feel like Griffin is the high gloss version of me. Yeah, a little more. A little motor mouth tricksters, right? Yeah, I feel like Griffin is the high gloss version of me. Yeah, a little more. A little motor mouth tricksters, right? Yeah, yeah. No, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the frustration a little bit, but also the joy. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's fair.

We call it joystration. It's both frustration and joy. You're breaking you back because, you know, like, it's all strong emotions, right? So, like, you know that you have the association with Elliot, that like moms you too. Like, I know I feel intensely, but I don't remember what I feel. Oh, annoyance irritation, annoyance and disappointment at exhaustion. So Fred tries to talk him down from going after the crooks, but Johnny five is ready to go on a rampage. And this is where we get to this is the other zaniest thing in the movie, which is Johnny five with a Mohawk

all like tough guy out with Michael McKeon riding him on like a segue, riding him through the streets of this generic brand city that has not been named while while what holding out for heroes playing with the song. Well, that happens. That happens. I think a little bit later. So I need a hero comes up. Yeah, yeah.

Michael McKee, that was the moment where I'm like, man, I wish it would find to be Michael McKee right there. That's the right Johnny five round. I don't, well, here's the thing. I think we would think that. I don't know that Michael McKee was having so much fun. That's funny. I know.

You think in the end of the five round, I'm sorry. I'm still about Michael McKee's life. It's going to open with him riding on Johnny five and he's, and then old freeze frame. It'll be like, you're probably wondering how I get here. I just do. I was, I want to say you were right. That song is called holding out for a hero. I apologize. Oh, thank God. Credit. He delicious credit. Delicious.

For reasons passing, understanding follows me on Twitter. I don't think he listens to the flop house. But if he does, if he does, start right in. Tell us what it felt like to be right and try to hide around. Please. We did your hair. Falkins at your wrist. We are such fans.

We have so much respect for your work. Yes, yes. And we, we would love to talk to you about what it was like to ride around. Not Johnny. It's during the making your short circuit too. You've had a long illustrious career like spinal tap is still one of my, one of my favorite comedies of all time. There's, you know, you've done so much at you, you're such an amazing dramatic actor, but I want to hear

about what it was like to write about Johnny five. And it's pretty cool that in this movie, he gets to be the slip and Jimmy character basically. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a bit similar to his Lenny character from LeVernin Shirley, you know, they kind of like. And so, uh, but he's a man with a lot of range. He can do a lot of stuff. And I will say there are no moments in this that I feel like are embarrassing for him. I feel like there, he, his character, I think never comes off as like embarrassing or cringy, but I'm sure it was embarrassing to be riding around the streets of Toronto on the back of a giant puppet robot. I mean, I was not like he's like, it's not like he's like John Candy and splash where you're like, fuck, dude. Let's edit all your lines out, please. You've referenced this before. I remember from my movie so long since I've seen splash.

What I feel like he's just like so aggressively horned up. I remember is him dropping money on the ground so he can go to pick it up and look up women's skirts. That's all I remember from him in that movie. Yeah, that would be. I remember even as a kid being like that's not. You're saying that's a no no. I'm saying that's a big no no. Yeah, that's a big no. That's a big no. Elefide. Elefide. Elefide. Certified. Big no no of the week. You know what? I'm alifying it. Everybody that know of the week. You know what I'm qualifying it everybody that stands for Elliott certification. I'm elevifying that.

Yeah, that's my my no no of the week is dropping change on the ground so you can pick it up while looking up women skirts. Don't do it. That's a modified just take it for granted. Not a no that's a no no. Don't you say you got to get a pretty deep squat or have to be around a lot of tall women to be looking up those skirts. Yeah, well, it's been mostly a little bit of a shame to like a mirror she. Yeah, the change is very, very shiny. So you can just look, yeah, but I'm it, but

don't do it. That's other side of just the impracticality morally, just don't do it. What's my yes, yes? Well, my illified yes, yes for the week has got to be riding around on a robot's back. Well, I'm not saying it's, sure. You can't go wrong with that. So Fred drives it. And that's a kind of shit that like, if New Yorkers saw that, they'd be like, yeah, okay, get out of my phone. I'll put it up on what is New York.

Yeah, this is going to be, this will be my modern love entry to the New York Times. There was a man riding a robot. One of the people frustrated sort of like, is this an improv ever where what's going on? Yeah, yeah. Walk along. Like one of those I take a talk day in my life kind of videos, which is like, oh my god, I got like, you know, my ice coffee man on a robot.

Then I went to a rooftop party. Or you know, some guy who did some dumb guy who's a college internship in the city posts about it. I saw this guy riding a robot. This is what freaky stuff is happening around here. He loses his job. He's got to go home. Yeah. It doesn't it all sorts of stuff like that. Anyway, Johnny five, they go into the sewers to stop the to pop up and stop the car. The poster you may have noticed for short circuit two involves Johnny and Ben in the sewers. No, it's Johnny and Fred in the sewers in the movie. And I'm tired of these posters lying to me. When I see the poster for bringing down the house, it accurately tells me which character says you got me straight,

tripping boo. They don't have another character saying it. That's good point. So then Johnny five fights the robbers. He's wise cracking non fucking stop. He just never cracking non fucking stop. He just never stops talking. And he chases, he ties them up or whatever. And he chases Oscar while he's sparking and bleeding everywhere. Oscar gets on a boat.

Johnny five follows along on land. And then he gets on it with his few last minutes of life. He swings on a crane and tires the style. Oscar is running away. And he's like, are you, he's like, are you a curse from God? And that's it. There's no response. That's the one time when Johnny five doesn't say shit because he's like, you better fucking believe it. You know, I am. Yeah. Yeah. Vengeance is mine. Say, if Johnny, so with his last minutes of life, he catches Oscar, the police

show up, Ben and Sandy and Fred all show up just in time for Johnny five to say goodbye and die. And then Ben takes a defibrillator because the EMS people showed up for a robot. And he takes the defibrillator from him and he starts shocking him and he manages to shock him back to life. And he tells the MS guy, he goes, don't cut off that power or I will, I will shove you through a hole or something. I don't remember what his thread is, but it's like, that's not how a defibrillator works. Like it's not a constant stream of power.

It's sharp shocks that are meant to jump start a heart. Johnny Five doesn't have a heart. Like it's not how machines work. Do you think, do you think transfer to a battery, some of that power? It doesn't. It's the same way that like you can't really kick a jukebox and have it start playing. That's because Fonds is a magical being. That's how you think. Yeah. Do you think? Now, do you think the EMT showed up assuming that there was a guy inside

the robot suit that he was going to need to do an emergency appendectomy on like that, that performer who was in the Godzilla monster suit that one time. Yeah. And they had to have the surgery through the suit while you're still wearing it. And they realized that he was immune to anesthetic. It's the craziest story I've ever heard that this performer, yeah, he had like, that's the worst place to have an appendectomy in your body. In a tiny, in a, it's a habit to have an appendectomy while you're wearing a thick rubber suit. And you're also on a scale model of a city that's very small. And you have to know that for the surgeon, it's hard to resist the urge to just walk

away from the surgery for a moment to smash some buildings to live out a dream of being a giant who can step on buildings because surgeons don't usually get to do that. Yeah. Yeah. My uncle, that's Ellie's fun fact of the week. My uncle's a retired, retired bone surgeon never got to stop around on buildings. It was never a giant. Anyway, bone surgeon. Yeah, like Anyway, that's a fucking job.

I guess that sounds cool, right? Sounds cool. When your bones, when your bones got to get pulled out of your body or whatever, anyway, I could totally imagine him using a bone saw to just cut through someone's ribcage or something. Anyway, he doesn't do that now. He says bone saw's ready before he loses it because he loves, he likes to send Remy's fight on his. So, I'm going to crazy.

Really what is it? He's a macho man, Randy Savage fan, but only when he's playing another character. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. So he loves to slim Jim ads and he loves bone saw, but he doesn't like the actual talent. Not playing macho man in the slim Jim ads. I am always assumed he was playing a slim Jim guy named Slim Jim.

It was a not. Okay. We are so close to the end of this movie. Yeah. So Johnny five, he's in all the newspapers. Now he's a big star. He's on the cover of People magazine, which is a, which I guess is accepting him as a person. You can't get more accepted as a person than be on People magazine. People live magazine that also would mean that he's alive. Yeah, he's he's starring in a remake of a live. I'm magazine like all living things. He only has a living time. Yep. Time also affects non-living things. It's called entropy and erosion and stuff.

So that's a little bit of here. A news week only a living thing can feel weak. Nanom it objects always have strength. So the, uh, now it's a little bit of the future. Yeah. Dan you reached too much of the earth. Yeah. So they have a, they have a new, they have their own company called input ink.

You know Fred has made it because it's the 80s. So he's wearing a suit, a fancy suit with sunglasses on and is talking to a big Zach Morris cell phone. That's how you know your success. He says, he says words like bubble and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. And he says, you want my toys?

Everybody wants my toys. And he and Sandy are late. They've got a rush to the citizenship oath ceremony. The only evidence we've received so far that this movie is not set in Toronto because up to this point, everything else has pointed in that direction. And Ben is taking the oath and also a shiny gold Johnny five. That's right. His body got turned to gold somehow, not a great replacement because gold is not a strong metal. It's weak. Like Newsweek magazine says, it's very valuable. And Johnny five gets singled out by the judge administering the oath that he

is America's first robotic citizen with all rights inherent to all citizens. Now that means he has fewer rights now because of the current Supreme Court, which loves taken rights away. They're a bunch of assholes. But up and so Johnny five no longer has certain rights, but he has all the rights that Americans have left. Sandy kisses Ben and that and they asked Johnny five, how do you feel now that you're

citizen? And he goes, I feel alive. And he jumps in the air, which he should not be able to do. He does not have legs. And then there's a freeze frame freeze frame over there. That's how you end a fucking picture guys. That's a great. Yeah.

We haven't talked about this. We haven't talked about the score, but some primo 80s, like saxophone pop, a movie score, a pair of plays. Oh yeah. And we enjoy the credits. So it's all in synth stuff too. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Is it the score, like the love theme from romancing the stone?

No, it's not that good. It's the best saxophone score. No, I think 80s score the saxo 80s. The music just looking up now. The music is by Charles Fox, who did a lot of TV scoring in the 70s. He wrote the theme song for the love boat. And he also was, he also was one of the writers on killing me softly. So he's as old as we have a Grammy.

The song killing me softly with this one. No, the song. That makes more sense. No. So, uh, so yeah, that's the epic story of, of short circuit two. Yeah. And there was no short circuit three. There was, I guess they wanted their top thing out, making a sequel. And they did not because this movie was not a success. Yeah, although it was a sort of little, a little bit of your expectations, Ben. Fuck, um, rewatching it.

Cause I love this fucking movie as a kid. I was like singing the songs. I was like, I'm thinking about how bad I asked Johnny five looked when he was like a punk rock version. Hell yeah. I was super into it. Uh, well, before we get a reaction, let's, we have a, we have a branded segment that's all about what's that segment. It's called final judgments, uh, where we decide whether it's a good, bad movie, a reaction, we have a branded segment that's all about what's that segment.

It's called Final Judgments, where we decide whether it's a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of like. Yeah, Ben, we already, why don't you kick us off? All right. Well, I will say that having been the one to suggest we watched this cursed fucking movie. And now revisiting it as an adult, I will probably never watch it again. And I have to say I think this was a bad, bad movie in just that as much as it was, you know, I guess nostalgic to see my robot friend Johnny five again, I just couldn't get past the scenes with the character Ben.

We're so distracting, so cringy, just awful. So as much as, you know, it's like as much as we are going to have to kind of always face this with our 80s, 90s comedies, really just movies from that era in general that we grew up on and then you revisit and you're like horrified. I mean, that is just so consistent. This is one of those ones. Wait, the nerds did what? Seriously.

So I just, I just feel that as much as like I remember growing up, loving this movie, I, I, I, I, I, I, I feel nothing, but kind of, uh, ill will towards this film. Yeah, I mean, our reactions to these movies that we do fall so often outside of the codified categories we created that is. We really should get different categories. The categories have become kind of a joke at this point, but I will say that like, yeah, this is a movie that has one big problem and it's consistent, it's consistent, consistent

racial insensitivity, whether it be the lead character being in brown face the whole time or minor characters just being terrible stereotypes. If that were not true about the movie, I would say like, while this has little to offer me beyond nostalgia as an adult person, I would think it was a fine, sweet little comedy for kids. And it would, you know, it'd be perfectly okay, but that is a glaring flaw, I would say, with the film.

What do you guys have to say? Yeah, I mean, it's obviously looking back. It is obviously a bad, bad movie. I'm, I'm, I find it, I'm fine. There's something compelling for me watching it because I'm like, why did I love this movie so much? And the puppeteering work is incredible. Like they, they do some really impressive and very creative ways of like blocking and using Johnny five. And I think that stuff's all super cool. But yeah, and I'm also shocked at how like they like made this crazy bank heist subplot. I don't know like it's it's a very weird movie.

But no, it's not it's not particularly good. Yeah, I think there's a so I have a I have a concept that I have named the classic movie, cringe, which is when you watch an older film and often, there is many, many times, there is a moment that is racially insensitive or sexually insensitive or misogynist or things like that. And you just kind of have to cringe at it and move on. And there's kind of a ratio in my head that I can't codify, but where the quality of the film has to kind of outweigh the quality of that cringe, the intensity of it, to a certain extent to make the film worthwhile.

And I love a lot of old movies that have those moments where you like cringe through it and then you move on. I love Westerns which are inherently cringing and problematic genre since they're built on extermination and colonization and are themselves then also a misogynistic, burnt lens on real life, extermination and colonization. But so I'm used to kind of being through that stuff. And I feel like if this movie had been, cause without the racist stuff, I feel like this is a good, bad movie. It's super dumb and silly,

and the robot effects all look really good. It's not a good movie, it's not funny. And as a kid, I thought it was funny, cause kids, I feel like with kids, if the jokes are fast enough, and they're references to things, then kids like, I'm experiencing this right now because my kids have discovered

the despicable me and minions movies, and watching them. I'm like, wait, there's movies about those things. Yeah, I thought there were just memes that people's aunt put online. No, no, they started as movies and they are super fast paced in terms of jokes. And there's a lot of references to things that my kids don't know what they are, but they know it's reference to something and they love them. And so it's like, if you took out the racist stuff, this would be kind of a good bad movie. But with it, the quality of the movie is just not, not in the ludicrousness of the movie,

is not of a high enough caliber to make up for the rest. So it becomes a bad, bad movie. But I will say that sometimes when you're a movie, when you're a lover of any kind of cultural media, you have to wade through the toxicity of the past in order to get to the glimmers of treasure that still exist. But don't do that with short circuit too. That's not worth doing with short circuit. Yeah, yeah, definitely not worth it.

Watch that. I would feel I was. No, no, no, no, no. What? But the way that like I've been rewatching Seinfeld recently, and there's an episode that I watched recently that was so funny, but then also has a whole subplot that's super racist with any time a Chinese person is on that show,

it's super racist, because they're all just yell loudly and broken English. And it's like, oh, I wish, if only this subplot wasn't in this episode, it would be an amazing episode of television, but the stuff in it that is funny to me is so funny that I'm like, okay, I'll cringe through this part to get to the funny scenes, you know. But short circuit, too, is not at the level of science, though.

You know, a good way, maybe to deal with the disappointments of nostalgia could be micro dosing. Oh, okay. You've probably heard be microdosing. Oh, okay. You've probably heard about microdosing. If not, if not in this context before I want to hear more. Yeah, tell me. Just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily. They feel healthier and perform better.

They might be around you right now. You would never know. You can't know. It's a possible science hasn't figured out a way. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies, microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. I have used these gummies from Loomy Labs.

They got a pleasant taste, they don't taste like, something that has THC in them, they relax you, they make you feel, you know, calm you down, give you a little creative boost, I enjoy them, and they are in fact available nationwide. And if you want to learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code flop to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is micrados.com code flop.

Elliot, I believe you have a jumbo tron, now that I do it, it's done. Opening various cans on microphone. Yeah, during the ads, that was a good idea. So the jumbo tron I have, this is a message for David. And this message is from crystal. So if your name is David and you know a crystal in your life, this message might be for you.

And you'll figure out if it is for you from the context of the message, which goes like such, howdy peaches. I'm wishing my wonderful Spider-Man loving partner a happy 17th wedding anniversary. We usually don't celebrate our anniversary in part because we don't always remember the date in July we were married on. But 2022 marks 20 years together. So I wanted to get a special shout out

from our Fave Peaches. Here's to 20 more years, babe. That's so sweet. Happy anniversary, David and Crystal. Congratulations. That's wonderful. That is wonderful. And...

Hey, and you know what else is wonderful? What? You know what, Dan? When this episode comes out it's only going to be a few days before the release of the collected edition of maniac of New York the Bronx is burning my second volume of maniac of New York comics from after shot comics written by me art by Andre Moody it's the story of unstoppable slasher loosen New York and this time he's in the Bronx so that's on August 3rd the collected edition maniac of New, the Bronx is burning is coming out just a few days after this episode's released. Yes, snuck in an ad for my own stuff.

It's great. Yeah, sounds like a good, I don't know, Halloween gift. What do we do? Are there to those exist? I'm trying to think of a holiday that might be coming up soon. Anyway, I mean, it comes out on one of my son's birthdays and he loves scary stuff. So it could be. Yeah, so buy it for one of Elliot's son's birthdays. But don't buy it for them, because they're too young for it. So buy it, buy it for someone you love

and say, happy Elliot's son's birthday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, my name is Graham Clark and I'm one half of the podcast stop podcasting yourself. I show that we've recorded for many, many years and at the moment instead of being in person, we're recording remotely and you wouldn't even

notice. You don't even notice the lag. That's right, Graham and the great thing about it, go ahead. No, you go ahead. Okay, and go ahead. And you can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Your podcasts. Hi, it's me, Dave Hill from Before. Here to tell you about my brand new show on Maximum Fun, The Dave Hill Good Time Hour,

which combines my old Maximum Fun Show, Dave Hill's podcasting incident with my old radio show, The God Damn Dave Hill Show, and a one new futuristic program from the future. If you like delightful conversations with incredible guests, technical difficulties, and actual phone calls from real life listeners, you've just hit a street called easy. I'm also joined by my incredible co-host, the boy criminal Chris Grisbeck. Say hi Chris. Hey David's really great to you. And New Jersey chicken rancher Des.

Say hi Des. Hey Dave. Dave Hill Good Time Hour. Brand new episodes every Friday on Maxim Fun. Plus the show's not even an hour, it's 90 minutes. Take that, stupid rules. We nailed it. Hey, and while we're doing plugs,

I just wanna do a quick shout out to my friend and friend of the pod, Tom Fowler, he's a comic book creator, and he has a brand new book on the way, is a collection of the comic book, refrigerator full of heads, which is part of DC's Hill House line, and it's the follow up to the successful basket full of heads. If you're a fan of horror comics,

80s horror, hammer horror, all that stuff, this is something for you to check out. So you should head down to your comic shop and get that pre-order in because pre-orders are super important in this business. And the cutoff is going to be either the 8th, 19th, or 21st depending on your comic book distributor. So head to that shop and ask for it. It is curated by the one and only Joe Hill, and there's a lot of other great people working on it. So check it out, refrigerator full of heads.

["Full of Heads." ["Full of Heads." ["Full of Heads." ["Full of Heads." But moving on back to the show from our delightful sponsors and Elliot's plug, here's some letters. All you're sure, Maniac of New York, the Bronx is written, collective edition, in Convoc source, all you're sure.

Oh, Dan, letters time, huh? Listers sometimes write us letters. I mean, frequently they do because we've made it part of the show. Yeah. And this is the part where I talk about them. This first letter is from Amos last name withheld who writes, I've become a big Nicholas Cage fan. Thanks to no small parts of the podcast.

It's been a delight to witness his late career renaissance, although I hope he continues to turn out direct to streaming B movies. So that cage was can continue, but this brings me to my question. Are there any other actors that you think deserve late career reconsideration and that you would like to see rescued from B movie purgatory. It's Amos last name withheld. You guys have any thoughts on this? Any actors that you would like to see rescued that maybe are you know not being given the parts that they deserve. I mean, I think of a few. I mean, it's also tough because I don't know if these are actors and necessarily

fall within these categories. For a while, I would say Melanie Linsky was always an actress that I wish had gotten more big parts and got more, you know, awards consideration, but she's been working consistently and she's great in yellow jackets. Yeah, she's got her own TV show, but I don't know, like Jeffrey Combs definitely deserves to be in more stuff. I love Jeffrey Combs more Jeffrey Combs, please. He's so great and everything he's in, put him in more stuff, not just star, star trek

stuff, put him in other stuff too, please. Put him on stuff that Stuart's gonna watch. Yeah. I, a couple just sort of looking at movies that I've watched recently. The movie that I talked about from Miss That Movie last time, I always feel like Mimi Rogers

like kinda got a raw deal. She, you know, had like, she's not in the movie raw deal though, right? No, no. Like she was in kind of a few big movies at the sort of the peak of her career, but then I don't know, never seemed to really, you know, like she works consistently,

but I think that she could have done bigger things. Like when I see her like show up and say, ginture snaps, I'm like, I'm so happy about it. She's so good in it. And also I recently I went to the Nighthawk to see Supernova, the legendarily troubled production that like started out as a Walter Hill movie, took his name off of it, they had another director

and then like Francis Ford Coppola came and re-edited that. Anyway, it stars James Spader, who certainly had a great career, but of late just kind of seems happy to be in these long running television shows. And I just wish that we saw something that was a little more ambitious. I mean, I can't fault him for it.

I just wish that he would get a good career movie role as well. You guys have anything? Do you have anything to say to anything? I'll shout out Keith David. Yeah. Yeah. He's nothing. That's my boy. I like, I mean, we did on blank check,

little while back, carpenter, in the series. And I mean, he just has an amazing voice. And I just was looking at his photography. He apparently is a nope. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also, and Michael Wincott is a nope. And I fucking love Michael Wincott.

It's another character, sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's okay. Yeah, that's awesome to say. That's more key David. More key David. He's David. He's got like also the best smile.

Mm-hmm. Best smile is such a great voice. Like it's just. He's so color. Yeah. I want to flip the premise of this question and say, I kind of want to free a lot of the great actors that we're going to be from the a list, kind of big budget franchise, IP movies that they're making.

I feel like there's an entire generation of actors that I think is so tied up in Star Wars and Marvel and those kinds of things that they're not getting the more individual or unique or iconic on their own roles that they could be getting. And that's disappointing to me that there's a, I feel like now it happens with indie directors, which doesn't bother me as much, but with some of these actors, they get locked into a franchise and they just don't get to do too much else. Those movies also eat up resources that studios could be using to make one-off movies that

are amazing, you know, memorable, rather than big chain franchises. I would love to, I wish that there are many actors that I would love to have bigger careers, but I also want the actors who have big careers to be able to do things that are more unique or special and not just. Oh, well, now they're playing this character in this adaptation of a thing from my childhood. You know, well, I guess they're a thunder cat now and they will be for as long as those movies. Well, it's something out like there was a period where Colin Farrell was starring in a lot of big like he was in like

Swat and all kinds of other shit. And now he's like now he's kind of leaning into doing more smaller roles or more interesting projects. And he's great. But I think a lot of that a lot of that is tied up in my being tired of we've I went to I think a lot of that, a lot of that is tied up in my being tired of we've, I went to, I took my older son to Comic Con for Instanego for the day a couple days ago and I was tired of you out. And I was tired out, but also that it made me realize how tired I am of seeing the things that I grew up with dominating media or or or or media at least and how hungry I am for new things, new things my son can enjoy that I don't know

Yeah, and also new things that are just new ideas like I love as much as I love you know all the all the junk I grew up with like I want some I I need new I want new things, you know, and so and I'd love to see the actors of today doing new stuff You want light Johnny five you want input? Yeah, well, I get but not just any Johnny five would just take any input. Like if he had rolled into the wrong part of that store, he's just reading, you know, a lot of libertarian books and things like that. Now, it's nice. I mean, there is though something to Johnny five getting to experience the internet. I mean, talk about input. Yeah, that'll be short. So we just read a lot of them immediately. I need a really rich Johnny.

Johnny five is he's that he's storming the Capitol on January 6th and telling people that blow jobs happen on first dates and like it's all like all the terrible things he picks up on the internet. And he just rolls around going, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole? Like, um, well, actually, actually, and some a girl runs up and goes, I'm such a big fan of yours and he goes, Oh, are you really a fan of me? Tell me, what's that? What's my middle name then? Oh, you failed my test. Forget it. You know, tell me my, tell me five of my songs. Uh, like modern day, modern day in sale radicalize Johnny five. I don't like it. Well, let's, let's leave. Let's leave this fantasy figure behind and move on to.

And this is it. Johnny five is like, I'm not getting those vaccines. You don't have to Johnny five. You're not at your machine. You're not going to get a virus. Don't tell me. You would look pretty cool wearing a malady fedora, you know? I mean, a handsome man looks good in anything. So let's, there's another letter here. It's from Emma, last name with hell, who writes. Emma does. This email is titled from the mouths of babes. Please, I am begging you, tell Elliot, I introduced my boyfriend to the flop house while also rewatching

the Star Wars prequels. And this absolute treasure of a man said, the separatist battle droids sound like that nerdy dude from your podcast. I need to know if Elliott finds this more less or just as offensive as the comparison to Mooraka. Love you. I'm the last name with help. I mean, I love Mooraka. I've worked with Mooraka. He's a great guy. So I'm not offended by that at all.

The battle droids, I think more just the fact that they're so incredibly incompetent all the time. Yeah. But I'd never heard that comparison before, but I'll take it. I'll accept it. I understand. I'd so much rather be that than Wado.

So. Yeah. Well, it's still shorter than a lot of blank check, but we've kept been here a while. So let's speed through. I'm looking for the exit. Well, you know, yeah. How often are you texting someone breaking or canceling or changing plans because the episodes have have gone longer than you thought they would quite often because what happens to is Griffin will be classically late. And then they'll start talking about some nerd shit that I can't listen to and then we'll probably start then about an hour after we've met up and then it'll be like a two and a half long recording. And then yeah, I have to tell my girlfriend that like I'm going to be late for dinner because I was talking about the matrix. The new matrix. You're listening to somebody passionately explain how the Eminem experience isn't what it should be and how it's advertised.

I love that Ben like breaks the, like, you know, there's this whole stereotype that like nerds and I don't know, well, I would you describe yourself sort of like humorous dirt bags can't get along. I mean, you just described them like that. Yeah, no, I mean, that's the party plays on the, that's the part I play on the show, kind of the every man. Yeah. I mean, nerds and, and, and people like me can get along because they're both mis-enthropes and, uh, have trouble communicating with people. So it's like you have that sort of shared bond

of being kind of a weirdo. Yeah, freaks and geeks, you know, together in one candy bar. Hey, you got your freaks in my geeks. Well, you got your geeks in my freaks. Let's try it. No, that's cannibalism. Stop, stop. They're eating freaks and geeks. Stop. Oh, let's do the recommendations, movies that we've seen that we enjoyed that might be a better use of your time. Then short circuit too. I think, I think I didn't recommend this. I hope I'm not, my memory is full of holes these days. I'm sorry if I already recommended this. I would be remiss not to though because it is related to Stuart's favorite movie, Rickio, The Story of Ricky. I saw the cat. Did I talk about this? No. I saw the cat from 1992. It's apparently

based on like a whole series of novels about a character that if you watched them with the cat, you would walk up and like, wait, that was the main character. You wouldn't have known. It's mostly about these aliens who are living on Earth and one of them is like a god, like just some dude. Like one of them is a young lady and one of them is in the form of a cat. It's a, and they, there's a fight in it between like a cat and a dog where, you know, both of the, both, it's very, it's a dramatic, like, science fiction fight between a cat and a dog,

where like, there's like this cat puppet line around and stuff and like a lot of glowing stuff. And neither of the animals get hurt and they're both get to be like good guys. So animal lovers can watch this movie and be happy. But it is by the end, it gets just as gross as Ricky. Well, not just as gross. Wequest. That's great. There's like, they're there to fight like a bad alien and they get, you know, mixed up and like, there's the main character from the novels is, I guess, an investigative reporter. There's all these shenanigans I don't really understand. It is one of these bizarre movies where really getting everything that happens isn't key to your enjoyment of it. It's just a very strange movie with a lot of delightful. Is our practical effects and things that happen and if you like story of Ricky I guarantee you also enjoy the cat.

That's a solid recommendation for me Stewart. a solid recommendation for me Stewart. Uh, stew, do you want to give a, I do. I will go next. I am going to recommend a movie that I don't think we've recommended on the show before. It's directed by Ridley Scott and it's written by that sicko freak, core mac McCarthy. What a fucking nasty boy. You know, he's always trying to shock the squares. His author photo should have him in a fucking straight jacket, because he's just that twisted.

And he serves up another sticky slab of creepy shit in this one where a description of the mo- so this is a movie with a lot of people in it. There's a big cast, a lot of stars. You got your fastbender. You got your Penelope Cruz. Cameron Diaz is the last movie. Is that correct? As of yet, I believe that she's coming back. She has announced. Okay. For Councilor too, I hope Haavier Bardem's in it. Yeah. A bunch of people, a bunch of folks. Brad Pitt's in it. And the plot description is a lawyer finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking, which is true. That is technically true, but

it is a much weirder movie than that. Every character, every conversation is in a kind of like, I like a location that is at both times like high class and also very grimy. Havier Bardem is dressed insane the whole movie. Cameron Diaz does have sex with a car. It's, it's a, well, I don't know. It's just like a weird kind of gross movie where characters are just constantly talking about fucking. And it does feature a really, it features a check-offs bolito, which is a execution method that will slowly strangle and slice off your head.

And you know that they talk about it a bunch up front and you're like, oh, that's weird. They're going to be talking very specifically about the rules of this, this execution device. Well, you know that shit comes back in the end, baby. So the counselor, you were that shit comes back in the end, baby. So the counselor, uh, you were a good time. Thank you. I want to say for any, any car fetishes in our audience, this isn't like to tame level car fucking. It's more, you know, kind of grinding against a car, but that's true. I just don't want, I don't want anyone to be disappointed. Yeah.

I'm like to attain. Yeah. Thanks for, thanks for heading off those angry letters right now, Dan. Yeah. Ellie, thanks for heading off those angry letters right now, Dan. Yeah, Ellie, what have you got to recommend? I'm going to recommend this is a slightly qualified recommendation. We watched this movie where a guy who is not Indian played at Indian person and I recently watched a movie where Indian people played Indian people and it's the Taliwood movie that everyone's talking about. That's right. RRR, the movie directed by SS Rajamwuli that tells the story. The heavily fictionalized,

because in that none of what happens in it is true. Story of two real life anti-British revolutionaries in 1920s, India, who have an incredible friendship that involves lots of action scenes and the two of them torturing each other at different points. And it's a, it's a, it's a, just big explosive, big budget Indian action adventure movie. There's a lot of fun stuff in it. The action scenes are really great. There's a scene where one of the characters releases a whole herd of animals to attack the guards at a base. It's qualified because politically the movie is problematic if you are following Indian politics at all. And

by the end of the movie, there is a musical number that is so essentially, that it's so incredibly like nationalistic that I was like, wait a minute, this movie kind of became propaganda at the end. Like this movie just turned into nationalist propaganda. So I would say enjoy it for the action scenes. There's one scene that's an entire action scene where one of the guys is on the shoulders of the other guy while they're fighting people. And enjoy that aspect of it, but please don't take it as a, as a fair look at the Indian

independent struggle. It is politically problematic, but the eventor scene is really fun in it. And there's some fun dancing in it too. So that's RRR. It's available all over the place, though dubbed into Hindi, which is not the language I think was made in. So I don't know why, but I couldn't tell the difference. I don't speak any of those languages. Then what have you got? What would you like to recommend? Well, so, okay. I mean, you mentioned fastbender. I feel like overall these three recommendations have been pretty straightforward, pretty genuine. I got a dumbass one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love dumbass. All right. A movie that if you haven't watched yet, I highly recommend

this Assassin's Creed. Oh, okay. Have you seen? Yeah, I think we may have even done an episode. I don't think we might have done it. Yeah, salted. Tell us. That's what I want to do. Just to create a show. The episode I think. Can you explain to us why we shouldn't have done it. I think we said in the episode I think we said in the episode anyone who likes this and his name to ban is a dumb ass Shot flat, I was even no Yeah, but so why assassins create why what's great about it? You sit down and you hit play and you hit play. You know what I'm watching you move in the ball. You are transported to a whole different universe.

Oh shit. All right. With draws that don't necessarily apply to like aria. Okay. But you're so on board because it's sick. All right. There is an amazing action. It's like set in a time in history.

I don't know anything about. True. So I'm just like, I'm on board for whatever I'm seeing. Yeah. It's dusty. I love it. It's got tons of cool ass fighting and violence and shit, you know. I didn't really play the video game.

So I have no context, but I do love that there's just this weird machine that somehow through memory gets people to travel in time. None of it makes sense, but damn is it good? Okay. Like, if you want to, there's like movies that I like where it makes you feel like you're not alive anymore when you watch it. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah.

Just like I have like floated out of my body. And that's like, uh, You're like stumbling out of the movie theater wondering like you have to check your pockets cause maybe you left it. I wouldn't see this in the theater. This is a theater going right. No, but I'm saying like when you like,

that's the feeling of like you're, you have left your body behind, you have entered another realm. Maybe you have re-entered a different body that is not your own. Yes, exactly. But it's just, it's a blast. It actually has a decent director.

I think it's Justin Kurt, Kurtzell, Kurtzell. But it's like beautifully shot. And yeah, for a video game movie, it's not half bad. Okay. I do like, you're not the first guest to recommend a movie that has been also featured on an episode. So that's.

And you're not alone in liking assassins. This is I've heard defenses of assassin's creed from people I trust. You know, we had a different experience, but maybe if we weren't and there's also there's also the argument that when we go into a movie for the purposes of the podcast, it is hard that for our our opinion to not be colored a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, we might have I always want to like it. Maybe we went into short circuit two with the wrong attitude. And maybe that's why we didn't, we didn't care. But that's just I've been trying to go, I've been trying to go into these movies lately, being like, what am I going to like about this movie just so that I'm not going after things just for negative reasons. But it's not since create I didn't like.

Can you guys jump from rooftop to rooftop? I can't. I mean, how close to the rooftops? Yeah, that's a great distance away. No, no, I can't do that. Do you have knives hidden under your sleeves? No, I don't have. No, that's dangerous.

So I feel like what else you need to know. Yeah, you make a good point. It's actually a pretty good point. Yeah. And it's got assassins in the name. True. Yep. And Creed, we all love to read. Yeah. Yeah. And the band Creed. Yeah. We have familiarity there. Maybe you like the play assassins. I think you've turned us around. You know, it's now, it's now, I'm putting you up on the other one of my, I'm putting on my top 10 list

for this year, even though it didn't come out this year. That's how much you've convinced me. This has been a lot of fun. Ben, is there anything you would like to take this moment to plug? Yes. Um, listen to blank check. I mean, if, um, you like, uh, live man, we're on. Yeah, we did.

I know. That's crazy. I got him to wrap my nicknames, which is absurd. Wow. Yeah. Um, but, uh, yes, so check out blank check. If you want to listen to a movie podcast that goes even longer. And I will.

The demanding that. Yes. Okay. Well, I'm sorry that I introduced that idea to your listeners. And I will just also say, uh, coming soon, because I don't know exactly when this is coming out. So whatever, hopefully I'll maybe actually make the website and launch it, but I also have a fashion line. So congratulations is the name. So if you go to Congrats U-Lations, yeah, because the other one was already taken, that's Congrats Y-O owe you, Lations. I have a various

merch and dice, including buried jeans, which sound exactly like what they are. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm a listener, so I know about these buried jeans, but I didn't know that it would necessarily translate immediately to everybody. But I guess you saying, yeah, I know what they sound, what, like what they are, that is the quickest and easiest, the clearest way of, of saying, if you want more explanation, just go to the website and you'll see that. I mean, what, what, you know, this is beautiful because you're giving them a taste that'll make them want to go. Yeah. Well, this has been fun, but thanks for having me on though.

This is a blast. Thank you for coming. And I guess, and I guess, sorry to, I should just apologize to the end. Sorry about that. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. You're forgiven.

We'll allow it. Or the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaylen. I'm Ben Hossley. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. This is how I know that I've been in the middle of age. Wow, you reached that age, you did it. What album? Uh-huh. Or... Or... Or is it Onjana? Oh, Jai don't know.

I think it's Onjana. Yeah, aha. Let's start. Let's start. It's A-J-A. I took a stab and I stabbed wrong. I stabbed the wrong person with my... It was Donk.

It was Donk. They call him Steely Dan. He's a killer who stabs people with Steely Dan albums, and his name is Dan. Is he Steely? He's actually not that Steely. That's the thing. We wish he fits the band better. Yeah.

He's very warm and loving. Aside from the stabbing, of course. Well, yeah. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture.

Artist-owned, audience supported.