The Flop House - Episode #394 - Your Place or Mine, with Hallie Haglund

Episode Date: April 22, 2023

Yeah yeah yeah, Ashton Kutcher and Reese Witherspoon, whatever, let's talk about REAL STAR POWER -- Hallie Haglund! Hallie's back! HALLIE! HALLIE! HALLIE! She joins us to discuss our second romcom in ...a row: Your Place or Mine, a nonsensical romp about a week-long accountancy course, and also love.TICKETS for THE FLOP HOUSE BATTLES BATTLEFIELD EARTH! The show premieres TONIGHT, April 22, and will be viewable for two weeks thereafter!Wikipedia page for Your Place or MineMovies recommended in this episode:The Movie OrgyPuss in Boots: The Last WishThe AscentAlice, Darling (Hallie has RECANTED this recommendation after seeing the full movie)Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss your place or mine. Wait, whose place is it gonnaoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin. And I'm Hally Haglettle the star of the show is here Yeah, that's why Pepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepepe And it's already giggling as the show started because how is actually in New York, you know, she's now she lives in LA, but she came to the city and it's really nice to see her. And the, you know, when you hear the title of the movie, she got confused and came to your place.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it is a movie very much about LA and New York except that doesn't really seem to know much about either city. No, not that. It's about the, it is about the future generic cultural list, LA and New York that gentrification is bringing to both of us. But before we go into that, guys, this episode is being released on April 22nd. Is it not?
Starting point is 00:01:40 What? It is. Yeah, it is. Is there something special going on today, April 22nd at 7 p.m. You're still time. Boy, what day is it today? Why? It's a flop-house stream day.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Then I have a big excuse you can and also tickets to the battlefield earth streaming event. That's today at 7 p.m., April 22nd 7 p.m., go to flopphousepodcast.com slash stream to watch a real professionally shot video of our Brooklyn battlefield earth live show. Also you still have a chance to buy a VIP meet and greet ticket where you'll get to have actual conversation with the actual peaches. That's us. How they're not included.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I'm sorry. She's very popular, but she's not available. We asked her. Yeah, we didn't actually ask her. We check up those prices of how he was there. Yeah, but tonight that that's the VIP. But tonight, we will be in the chat box for the premiere of the video. You still have weeks afterwards to watch it. So even if you can't make it tonight, if you still want to see it,
Starting point is 00:02:35 please buy a ticket. And if you can make it tonight, enjoy chat with us while we watch our own show, kind of weird, but that's the second screen experience that I guess we all want these days. And we'll have some great, great new merchandise available. I know I'm going to buy some. I hope you do too, because we get money from it and also to look good in your own, I guess, but mostly because we get money from it. Tickets are available at flopphousepodcast.com slash stream. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:00 When you guys are going to be chatting, what is that? Do they see your face or is it just like they're like AOL? No, it's like, you know, like a lot of these streaming events have like a constant chat going on the side, like a Twitch style thing, and we'll also be there. I'm really looking forward to it. I gotta say, because a lot of people don't like to hear or see themselves, I am curious.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I'm curious, you know, I'm trapped inside see themselves, I am curious. I'm curious. I'm trapped inside. I'm curious, yellow. I want to see what it's like. That's why James lives in a house of mirrors. He's just like Patrick Bateman watching himself in the mirror as he has sex because he's more interested in himself in that moment than he is a partner. I get it now.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Oh boy. You really understand it. So that's it. And if you're listening to this episode after April 22nd, again, like I said, you can still buy a ticket to watch the video if you missed our Brooklyn live show. And speaking of Brooklyn, this movie takes place in Brooklyn because Dan, what do we do on the spot cast about movies? Well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. This play, this, this movie, I believe was just straight to Netflix. I don't think this got it yet.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Yeah, so where does it fall on your beloved tomato meter? My beloved tomato. Well, that's just tomato meter that he uses to compare movies to beloved. Not the movie, but the original book by Tony Morrison. Yeah. Um, so Dan, how is your place or mind compared to the harrowing story of American history that is beloved? Well, it's a lot more pleasant to sort of have on in the background while you're like
Starting point is 00:04:40 maybe doing chores as an artistic achievement. I don't think it stacks up to pull of it. Okay. Now compared to bluestie. Wait, what's that? Oh, that's another Tony Morrison book. No, no, that's not Tony Morrison. Oh, shit. Wow. Alex Alex edit that out. Oh, no, that is Tony Morrison. Oh my god. I'm fucking nailed it. You got said. Oh, my haters can. What movie? Oh, I'm thinking's a color purple. You know what? Keep it in. You know what? Elliot, you are, you are color blind. Remember? That's true, which means I also am blind to the names of the authors of books that have colors in the title. And it's Alice Walker.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Alice Waters is, I think, a chef, right? Well, yeah, I had a lot of travel last week when I went to that Brooklyn live show. And I also have a cold. So I want to apologize to Tony Morrison. I want to apologize to Alice Walker and Alice Waters. I apologize to all of you. And me also, I think Stuart, I think I'm going to save that correction for another decade. It can be as simple as a great. Alice Waters, a huge compliment. No need to apologize. Yeah. To Alice Waters, to Alice Waters. To Alice Waters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's been our show.
Starting point is 00:05:51 So the movie is the movie your first remind is about people getting authors mixed up in their hits. Yeah. Kind of. Uh, you know what? In a way, it is. In a way, it is. Yeah. Okay. So we watched a romantic comedy, which is light on both romance and comedy. Reese was their spoon and Ashton Kutcher and it is. That's right. Reese's Diner Spoon and Ashton Kitschen.
Starting point is 00:06:17 It was written and directed by one of the executive producers for Crazy X Girlfriend, which I discovered when I was like, there's like four actors in this that were an crazy X girlfriend. There must be some connection. I looked it up and low and behold, there it was. I mean, a free quit on that one podcast, script notes. She's on script notes a lot. I would know that I knew that because I used to listen to script notes and eventually I had to stop listening to script notes. But ooh, I should say that if I still want to work in the industry. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And she did the devil's work, the devil's product too, right? She wrote it. I don't think she's in it. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of questions already. Okay. What is one of those questions?
Starting point is 00:07:00 Yeah, it was one. How far have you fallen, Eileen Brush? Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. I'm not going to go that far. No, you don't think she listens to this to you? No, I don't think so. I mean, I feel like Hallie Dan and I are on this boat of like now we're like, who do
Starting point is 00:07:16 we not piss off? Who do we choose not to piss off? Who can help our career and who might hurt our career? I mean, let me make it very clear. I watched all of Crazy X Girlfriend. I enjoyed that show. I enjoyed Devil's Wars. Probably everyone has their ups and downs.
Starting point is 00:07:30 We are not. Yeah, that's true. Saying anything other than maybe next time. Yeah, we occasionally release a not perfect podcast episode. Surely not. No, it's possible. I mean, maybe you're at some point. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Thank you, Alan. I feel like into this. Have you never even listened to one that you're on? No. Yeah. Okay. Well, you're beloved people like you. She did an alley response to that with a sort of like he
Starting point is 00:07:59 little nose wrinkle that no one can see because it's recorded. So we watched this movie. movie, we're going to talk about it. It's a romantic comedy. It does do a very clever thing, which is takes its two leads who have no chemistry together and keeps them separate the whole movie. It keeps an entire country between them, the whole time, the entirety of the North American continent. Yeah, this is one of these things like so maybe we need to steer away from high concept rom coms because like the premise to this is interesting but it also sort of stays
Starting point is 00:08:35 in the way of the thing that you maybe want to see out of our romantic comedy which is the characters relating to one each other and realizing their their love and all of that stuff. The premise to this to put it very quickly is that essentially through plot machinations that don't make any sense and we'll get into that, they switch apartments for a week. I'm curious that you called it a high concept, Rome concept, because as far as concepts, it's fairly low concept. It's essentially one person who's going to babysit for the other one and that's why there's a change. Okay, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:09:11 I think high concepts can be used for this because it's just like, it has become to be used for like, it has like a premise, like a big like log line premise rather than rather than it's just a movie where people fall in love. I guess the logline premise is just two friends switch houses for a week. Yeah, but it is. It's much like something like sleepless in Seattle. It's like we're keeping the lovers separated. They're not actually, that is unusual for a romcom.
Starting point is 00:09:43 I can only think of sleepless in Seattle and bubble boy, I guess, as the two movies that they keep lovers separated. They switch houses and they like learn about each other's lives. Room. And what also room. Yeah. Classic rom gum. I didn't expect so much pushback for what I thought was a very simple thing.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I was trying to say. And it's just by just, that's what we do. I'm just trying to say like, you're like, Hal, you never actually listened to the show. Ellie, Ellie got on my case about my Tony Morrison bit. And I was, and I was wrong. So Dan, take that to me. That's precedent. I can be wrong when I, if I'm, if I'm literally saying I'm going to do something in a short amount of time, why, why do we have to extend this? I never said I would do a short amount of time. Why do we have to extend this? I never said I would do a short amount of time.
Starting point is 00:10:26 That's the thing, you could speak for yourself. I know you didn't, but why do you feel the need anyway? I'm just saying, the idea for this, what I'm sure it was sold on, if you're trying to make a movie, you have to have a premise that the elevator pitch, let's say that rather than a high concept, the elevator pitch is like,
Starting point is 00:10:47 oh, it's a rom-com where they switch lives essentially kind of for- Can you give me an example of another pitch? No, I can't. Like I'm not going to do it. Okay. They switch lives for a little bit and that is what helps them realize
Starting point is 00:11:01 that their love is they see the sort of see the other person in a more rounded way, perhaps. Yeah, yeah, in a new way. It precipitates like, finally, that emotion. And fine, like that makes it more easy to sell, but does that make it a story that like works? Like that's the question. And in this case, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:11:22 We'll find out on today's episode of the flop house. And Stuart, an example of a high concept elevator pitch would be like die hard. It's like die hard in a building. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Or how, I'm not in the industry, guys, but how about this? There's a guy named Ted and he's like a bear.
Starting point is 00:11:36 He hangs out with Mark Wahlberg all the time. Yep. That would be his like a bear. And it's called Ted. It's called Ted, yeah. Or like, or for instance, the pitch for cocaine bear, which was cocaine bear. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Keep it simple, stupid. Exactly. Or the pitch for the band kiss, which was keep it simple, stupid, the band. They kind of moved away from the original pitch eventually and they became nights in state and service, but eventually it was all about keeping. I'm like, they're holding is not. I feel like their whole holding is not keeping. No, listen, I want to rock and roll all night and party every day.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Keep it simple. I do one thing all night and I do one thing during the day. I do not make. I think it's your right. I was born for love and you. You were born for loving me. Keep it simple. We don't do anything else.
Starting point is 00:12:18 We just love. Yeah. I don't really know a lot of the kiss songs other than the obvious ones. Like lick it up. Like rock and roll night party every day So let's talk about the movie you might say Dan is never been You could say that yeah, you could The movie was about
Starting point is 00:12:43 It was a, it was just like missing all my life. Yeah, this is the headphones on. She puts an LPL on and she's like, see the awakening now. It's just like the scene in Garden State. She shares her headphones with him. It's just, ah, wanna rock and roll out. We'll change your life. And the person's like, I've heard this song.
Starting point is 00:12:59 It's on the radio all the time. She goes, oh, that's kiss. I have heard them and hands the headphones back the time. She goes, Oh, that's kiss. I have heard them. And hands the headphones back. Yeah. So this movie starts much like Cheryl Crowe's hit hit song in LA, the year is 2003. At the beginning of a. I know it's in 2003, LA because on screen text tells us it's 2003 and then points with arrows at all the 2003 specific fashion choices. And I wonder, do you guys think was this written into the movie or was this post trying to like add jokes to the movie? Was this something
Starting point is 00:13:31 that was originally supposed to be there or they were like, this scene doesn't really have any jokes. Let's throw some jokes in there. Uh, I think it was probably already in there. My objection to this was like, the treat to you like you're an idiot. Well, it goes on for a long time. Like, when there was just like a couple of things, I'm like, oh, this is kind of a funny thing because like, let's point out like just like a few indicators and it's like, but you know, it doesn't really change that much, but then it keeps going and going and going. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Yeah. By the time it gets to like wallet chain and stuff like that, which I don't know if that's necessarily a 2003 thing, is it? Oh, that's your issue with it. I thought it was because like, you could just have them have a wallet chain and assume people would be like, oh man, I remember when I had one of those as opposed to the movie being like, stop real quick. Yeah. Look at that wallet chain.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Go. Well, if only they had shot this the way they shot boyhood where they didn't know which stuff was going to be big cultural indicators at the time. So they don't have a narrative. Like it's a block. Yeah, exactly. They don't have a narrative that's like, look at that. I'm back with all the colors on it.
Starting point is 00:14:32 We don't have those anymore. Remember those computers? You know, anyway, it's 2003. The text on screen tells us and Debbie and Peter, aka Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher, they've just met at a poker game and they suddenly can't take their hands off each other. Their friends leave and they don't even notice because they're so busy macking. They have sex before they do that.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Macking? Yeah. Macking. Yeah, it's a bad experience. Sure. I mean, look up when I was, look up when I was born. I heard someone say macking was when I was at
Starting point is 00:15:02 church camp as a junior high kid. I was accused of Mac King. Well, that's not the context that I've heard. Like, I think you're misusing Mac King, actually. What I mean is that they're dressed up as Mac tonight. The McDonald's bitch, who is a giant, who is a glassist. Yeah. So, uh, it's like body horror at this point.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Uh, before they have sex, Ashton mentions mentions he's written 23 short stories and he's also amazed at how many books. Reesweather Spoon has off camera. Uh, and so yeah, 23 short stories about Glenn Gould, that movie ripped me off, he says, uh, these two things that he was once a writer and is no longer and that she likes books a lot will become the defining, the defining character six of these characters. Although neither of them seem like that's true. I got almost we rarely see Reese with a spoon reading characters talk about how much she loves
Starting point is 00:15:54 books. She wears a Powell's bookstore shirt. She stopped at a little free library. This movie is really pandering to me at one point at one point. Ashtagutra walks by the strand and I was like this movie is really trying very hard to bring in a lot of bookstores that I've been to. But it's just similarly, we'll learn later, other personalities more because we're told a lot about it than because we see it 25 years later, suddenly it's 25 years later. It's the morning of action. Kutcher's birthday. It seems at first like she and Reese, like she,
Starting point is 00:16:20 like he and Reese with her spoon are waking up together. But surprise, he lives in New York. Now she's still in LA. He lives in New York now. She's still in LA and it's a split screen. They're talking all morning on the phone with each other in the first of one of many Brian De Palma slash Robert Aldrich styles split split screens. It turns out after that one night stand, they became best friends who share no interests or values or habits. I don't know why they're friends.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Reese with her spoon. We learned she's the anxious uptight one who always does the smart, easy, simple, safe choice. And Ashton Kutcher, he's the reckless one who's afraid of commitment. The movie keeps telling us this out loud, but we don't really see the characters particularly act that way. Dan, what were you going to say? Well, I mean, yes. They don't act like the way that they're supposed to. I mean, like Reese acts like someone who's anxious, like the movie gives her a lot of business with that. I'm a little bit. But I think the action and
Starting point is 00:17:13 culture, like everyone keeps talking about how irresponsible he is. And apparently he's like extremely successful. And he's not saying that that cannot make someone like that people like that can't be irresponsible in a number of ways. The richest man in America did buy a social media company because he wanted people to think he was cool. True. And then it's actively dismantling and it's time goes on because people still don't think you don't see any of those ways.
Starting point is 00:17:36 So all we're left with is this experience of a man who has everything pretty well together. But yeah, he has an apartment that looks like an Airbnb. He, uh, I mean, he has an apartment that literally is it uses that stock photo, Elliot behind you as the view. Yeah. He has a very expensive dumbbell part. They both, he's super successful. He has this huge dumbbell apartment. And it for before we learned, he's not a writer. My, I was watching it with my wife and Danielle was like, he got that on a writers income. And uh, but also Reese Witherspoon later is like, I need to make, I've done the safe choices for my job.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I need to start making more money to support me and my son and she lives in a beautiful house on the Silver Lake reservoir. So they're both, they're living the affluent life even though there's just a lot. She bought it in 2003, Elliot. Okay, that's fair. When it was nearly expensive, as opposed to unreasonably expensive.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Yeah, but the one thing I wanted to push back on was just this idea that like, I mean, people with different personalities, like our friends all the time. And sometimes you see people with different personalities. Hey, Ellison, in the room, Dan and Elliott. Yeah, we're extremely deep. Like my day to him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Yeah. But I mean, I think sometimes you seek out people who like feel you out rather than people who just sort of confirm the person you're all, you are already. However, I agree that. They're called. That's what I say. Whenever I meet a new person, I think it'd be a good friend to say, Hey, you want to fill me out? And I like gross. No, I don't. I don't know. I do some me outfilling. I don't know a lot of friends. Yeah. We also learn that. So with a spoon she has, she's a divorcee with a teen son, Jack, who has a lot of friends, yeah. We also learned that, so Reese Witherspoon, she has, she's a divorcee with a teen son, Jack, who has a lot of allergies and she's very overprotective of him.
Starting point is 00:19:11 And we also learned a defining... We probably learned that because she is telling her friend, Tignitar, and she's like, I'm very protective of my son with this many allergies. And Tignar goes overprotective. Wait, and also, I want to mention... Speaking of people, I don't think should be friends. Like, I don't understand why Tick-Tick is our own friends with the spin, that was the part that confused me.
Starting point is 00:19:28 All these characters have long histories and we don't really know how that came about. But here's the other thing, we learned something very important about as to Kutcher, he loves the band the cars and that's all he listens to. And that will be a surprisingly defining characteristic for him that he loves the cars.
Starting point is 00:19:43 And the movie. But I mean, with Tick--N-Tara being her friend, like, that character has written mostly, like, she gets a couple of good lines that she kills because she's funny, but like, mostly that character is written as bland, like, friend who is only concerned with how we're with the Spoon's life is going
Starting point is 00:20:02 and like, getting Reese with her Spoon advice on her own life. And take the taros whole affect, like makes me think like she wouldn't like get wound up in this shit. Like, okay. She got a lot of stuff going on. She doesn't care about this nonsense.
Starting point is 00:20:15 She was my favorite character, but what does she have going on in her life? Because I kind of thought she might have been a figment of their magic. Like a Tyler. Yeah, she just like shows up all of the sudden holding a coffee and like I know nothing else about her. There's somehow co-workers at the same school I think, but I don't know what either of them really do there.
Starting point is 00:20:39 And here's the thing with the movie. It's like Tignitar was the movie's first attempt at giving Reese Witherspoon a like snarky sidekick and it's not working out. So the movie kind of lessons her role and brings in another character later to be Reese Withers poon's news snarky sidekick. And it's just like movie. You're going through snarky sidekicks at a fast pace like you guys. You guys think that Tignitaro wasn't working.
Starting point is 00:21:01 I feel like she was the only thing that was working. Oh, no, I don't. I think I was really dumb. I'm not saying that she's not working as a, as, for the movie, as a comedy sidekick. I just think it's funny that the movie is like, here's your, here's your standard issue romantic comedy, snarky sidekick. Forget it. Sideliner.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Bring in a new one. Bring it to me. No, because she has to become, she has to become, Ash and Kutcher's snarky sidekick. Yeah. Yeah, but it's a sidekick. I think it works, guys. I know, she's a character doesn't really exist except to be a snarky sidekick. So this is the important thing.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I think she doesn't really exist. It's very possible that she's a shared delusion. Like she shows up when Ash and Kutcher needs to have somebody to talk to, like it's perfect. I mean, if the, if the, if the other sidekick of Minka played by Zoe Chow didn't interact with a third character, I would assume that she was a, was a figure. And if that third character was also great by the way. Yeah, what is she saying? And if that third character was not, didn't professionally help Ashen Kutcher's career
Starting point is 00:22:00 by the end, I would assume that he was a figure of Reese with a spooza. Did you watch the after party on Apple TV? No, she only watched. She's also in the new season of party down. You guys only I go to parties. Okay. I don't know how cool. Oh man, she's getting active.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Just kidding. I go to parties. Reese with her party for me is leaving her son at home for a week. So she can go to New York to take a week-long accounting course that I guess will give her a degree in accounting. This means so. That don't exist in LA. There's no accounting classes.
Starting point is 00:22:32 You can't get an accounting degree in LA, but maybe it's just that in New York, you can get a one week rushed accounting degree. Damn, damn, vent your rage on this. No, this is what I was like, there's no way she can do this at home. She has to fly to the other coast for one week to go to park count. Like this is a correspondence course even. This is set in a new world, Dan, where President Joe Biden has made remote classes
Starting point is 00:22:57 illegal, made accounting illegal in 49 states. Yeah, well, it's only in New York, do they have one of the battlefield earth quick learning chairs that they can strap in so that I very humble low self esteem alien, can teach you accounting fast. Hey, go go to go to flop house podcast.com, so I scream figure out what I'm talking about. And similarly, similarly, because Rachel Bloom, who was, who has been sister. We're friends. It's not. Oh yeah. Honestly, I feel like a different thing for this part.
Starting point is 00:23:28 So can you guys, I remembered she was in the movie, but I don't remember. Well, well, well, you also has to leave town. So like Jack flies the other way across the country to take care of the kid. There's no local other option other than Rachel. Like this. We the sandwiched. The signature doesn't exist. I mean, Jack, did the taros house because she doesn like this. Rachel. The same as the signature. It doesn't exist. Jack that's why it's how it's because because she doesn't exist.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Yeah, but how should I give him a bath? Right. I mean, he's old enough. He probably takes showers at this point, but. Dignitarro, sorry, Rachel Bloom is supposed to watch him for the week, but she gets cast in a role in a movie. She really has, really has two scenes in the film. But we've also. She's gonna be in the back of a lot of important scenes.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Yeah, you have to damn play her achievement, Ellie. Yeah, I apologize. You're right. So meanwhile, I would mention that also, Ashton Kutcher's girlfriend of six months has broken up with him. Also, another crazy ex girlfriend, Kaz rememberfriend has broken up with him because their relationship after six months is going nowhere. Broke up with him on his birthday and he also turned down a job with two very surprisingly
Starting point is 00:24:32 emotional executives who take the rejection very hard in a scene that is fairly airless. Yeah. Well, he's, so he's like a consultant guy. Like he doesn't. Social media consultant, right? Yeah, something like that. Like branding. Branding is this thing. And so I just don't get to rest.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Nothing tying in there. He has no job. He has no girlfriend. Why not fly cross country and watch his family for a week? He barely has fucking furniture. Yeah, his apartment is very empty. He does. I wish they had gone all the way and had him have a garbage can that was just a shopping plastic shopping bag hung on a, hung on a cabinet.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Now, because I feel like that's the sign of a bachelor apartment is when all the garbage is going into a plastic shopping bag, hung on a cabinet. Not in current New York, you can't get a plastic bag anymore. You're right. You're right. Oh boy. You have to use a strand to tote that is issued to you when you come to the city. Yeah, I get that to some degree, this is to indicate how much they care about one another and how Ash and Kutcher is carrying this torch that he is only maybe partially aware of it, if at all, that he is doing all of this, but it still seems like so much plot machinery that could have been oiled a little bit better, let's
Starting point is 00:25:52 say, to get this, to get this movie off. All right. Well, let's, so he flies out, she flies back. It's his turn to support her. He mentions how she picked him up at rehab a couple times. She's always been there for him. It's time for him to be there for her. Ashton's first job, picking up Jack from school, he talks to Tignitaro.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Again, not evidence that this character is real. He could also be, it could also be, it's like the child in who's afraid of Virginia Woolf. It's a shared game that they play. They have a friend who's Tignitaro. And spoiler, sorry for anyone who hasn't seen who's afraid of Virginia Woolf. I forgot that Edward Albee, he said, please don't reveal the shocking surprise ending of my my thriller, who's a Virginia Woolf audiences will not be see. I mean, it's a Broadway play usually. I mean, they shouldn't be seen too far into
Starting point is 00:26:40 the mic. The mic nickels film. Oh, the movie that's right. So he actually tries to bond with Jack the kid by talking about how bad his dad wasn't how he died drunk in a ditch. Classic way you bond with a young kid right away. And Jack reveals that his old friends won't be friends with him anymore because his mom won't let him play on the hockey team with them because she's afraid he'll be injured.
Starting point is 00:27:03 So we know what Jack slept through this part. This is helpful. So did you also sleep through the, the, the, the, when Ash and me Steve Zon's character of Zen, Reese is independently wealthy neighbor who spends most of his time taking care of her garden and playing guitar. This is a character that really doesn't need to be in the movie. And I would love to explain to him why I like his style. I like his little vibe.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Yeah, I think it's just it's all about vibes. Do you think he was he shot this before white lotus and then after it came out he was like, can we just cut out my heart please? I mean, I think I can only imagine they're like if we have Steve's on available, we want to put them in the movie. He's really likable in it. It get like the movie has a couple of sites as many rom comes to the side characters are the strong part of the movie. And the main characters are not, but Ashton instantly dislikes Zen played by Steve's
Starting point is 00:27:57 on. Zon's then it's confusing. Hey, do you guys think on the set, they ever called him Zon by action on camera and Zen? Do we do this? I don't know. He hates, he's annoyed by all these posted notes that Reese Witherspoon has left everywhere with instructions. And Reese Witherspoon is goat walks around Ashton's big empty apartment and just riffs on his stuff. She's just riffing on the things he finds to
Starting point is 00:28:21 nobody. The Comedy Central Rose. It's what I asked and cookie. Yeah, that's what happens when you on the production company of the movie. Is that's you can just add scenes like that. Yeah. So, uh, Ashton Kutcher, he's a different kind of parent for Jack. He's like, don't do your homework. First, let's watch Alien, which just maybe want to watch Alien so badly. It's such an amazing movie. I can't wait to share it with my children. I love that it's also like brightly lit outside while they're watching. I know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:46 He's got a suck. I'm not even going to be able to see a lot of it because the glare is the window on the screen. And Jack reveals some kind of unflattering things that Reese Witherspoon said about action. Everyone thinks of him as a rolling stone. Nothing's holding them down. He can't make come at minster decisions like Papa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Papa Roach. Dan Roach Papa. He's a rolling stone. Papa Roach is kind of a rolling stone. And so Papa Roach wishes he was in the rolling stones. And so arguably they're still touring. This begins a process of Reese, where there's been an escuture realizing things about each other, they didn't know they thought they knew everything about like each other. He finds a series of cute post-it notes from her thanking him. And she finds a champagne bottle that he got her as a gift. He's telling you guys like, a shit.
Starting point is 00:29:30 He finds a shit. And he left a big pile of his own shit and his freezer for her. And says, Polish this turd. Love your best friend, Ashley. Do you guys have any relationships in your life where you're like, this person is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person who is a person this reason for her and says, Polish this third. Love your best friend, Ashley. Do you guys have any relationships in your life
Starting point is 00:29:48 where you're like, this person and I tell each other everything? Because outside of like my spouse, I don't think I could say that. I mean, that's not even true of my spouse because Audrey's constantly like, you didn't tell
Starting point is 00:30:00 me that way. You tell me that. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm a little secrets and like see. I'm quiet. Dan, have you told Audrey about about your second life that you keep an Ontario. I mean, what would be the point?
Starting point is 00:30:11 That's just a backup in case, you know, this was a long story. You're on top of he's called the backup. And it's about a woman who understands that she is just there in case the other guy's relationship falls apart. She thinks she's okay with that. It turns out she's not, or the other way around. She falls in love with the guy who has to give her food in the room. She's locked it. No, it's not like the idea that this is real. I don't like it. It's turned room into a room now.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Kind of like a raincoat. He said, I keep her as a backup. okay? It's true, that's right. Now it's canon apparently. I horrible monster. So, uh, there, there are- So, no, also me, I don't have a relationship like that. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, so, uh, Ashton is all like, uh, you know, Jack, your mom sold out her ambitions to take the safe
Starting point is 00:31:07 route. And you need to use my branding talk to get with your friends at school. So I'm going to take you to a big hockey game. You're going to use the take it. So we're those as old friends that one of them are. Sorry. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:20 And we're going to go to a big hockey game. You're going to use these tickets to kind of bribe them to review your friends again. Of course. Of course. As you guys would imagine, I pulled up on my phone, what it would cost to get a last minute suite for an LA King's game. And it's at least like your bargain basements like 4 grand, just to give you a concept of the lifestyle porn of this movie. But this is a movie, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:31:40 So Ashne Kutra has all the money in the world. He has all the things that he needs. And jumping heads lightly, they go to the luxury box hockey game. Jack's friends aren't interested in talking and Jack is a total, we're talking with Jack. It's a total failure. They don't want to fill them out. It's just, they don't want to be a friend. He's wanting to use it. Yeah, I mean, they had a good time, but not with him. It's a great time. It's a King's game, free food. I mean, kids love that stuff. Meanwhile, Reese Witherspoon is going to her
Starting point is 00:32:05 accounting course because I think I'm not the timeline, the time, so I'm doing anything about the time zone to the movie. They don't quite work exactly right. She goes for a course and then she passes by a literature class where this professor who reminds me a lot of the chef-testant Greg. Yes, yes, yes, that's right, Dr. And for a minute, I was like, is that him? But it's not. It's and I don't want this episode to be me mistaking black creative people for other black creative people. I apologize. But he's just talking about thick books. And
Starting point is 00:32:34 he's like, hmm, yeah, give me some of them thick books. Yeah, I like them books thick. Yeah, like my God, Zillaz. I like them. That's that's me. You doing an impression of me. Yeah. And so she, there's a, I think I skipped over Jackson because my notes are not as organized as it should be that the previous night in X of action, Kuchers, Minka played by Zorichow has stopped by the apartment wearing nothing underneath her robe. She's wearing a short robe.
Starting point is 00:33:03 She's wearing a sweatshirt. Oh, like a hoodie. She's wearing a short robe. She was wearing a sweatshirt. Like a hoodie. She wants a dress almost. She wants a suit. I mean, it's pretty cool. It's a cool outfit. I wear that as an actual outfit.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I mean, she looks great, but you would wear underpants underneath. She looks a little bit like if she looks like she, if she was on the cover of an animal or a book, she would be transformed me into an otter. And of course you, and otters are sexy animals. They're sleek, they're smooth, they're wet, they have whiskers, they dry up like a dream.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Ellie, it's making way weirder than my come. They kind of hop around when they're at winter on land, but in water, it's just kind of like a little torpedo just shooting all over the place. They hold hands. They have nails, yeah. They sleep on their back and they crack clams and things with like that with rocks. They wrap themselves in seaweed. That's the way I like it. Yeah. Okay. So anyway. The narrowing. I like my women. Like I like my sushi. Raptime seaweed on top of a bed of rice. For more, see the movie Rising Sun.
Starting point is 00:34:06 I just watched it. I served on a naked woman. What? That's why you like your women? I said, okay, yeah, I get it. Yeah, like my women served on a naked woman. It's, it gets expensive. You're running into, into back ups and redundancies.
Starting point is 00:34:18 The thing about Rising Sun, I haven't just watched it. Is that didn't realize how much it's super racist? But it's also very funny to see Sean Conner explain explain to you. He's called sure to make me. Yeah. During the point in our history, we're like, we were treating the Japanese as if they were literal like business aliens. Yeah. Yeah. Very strange. Anyway. Not, not okay. So, Minka shows up. She's going to seduce Ash and Kutcher and then she's like, he's not here. And I see you need a rom comcom snarky sidekick. So that's what I am for you now. And unfortunately, Tick-N-Taro gets, she's already the snarky sidekicks. Now this movie has
Starting point is 00:34:53 two snarky sidekicks. But as Hallie said, Ashton Kutcher moves over and takes Tick-N-Taro. Zoe Chow is now Reese Witherspoon's snarky sidekick. I bring that up because now it's the next day and Minka's taking Reese out for what she calls fancy drinks and it just looks like they're at the bar at a hotel. But Reese with her spoon acts like she's been taken to the most exclusive eyes wide shut orgy rich person club in the world. Yes, I was expecting to be more of like a clubby scene, you know, where she was real like that. Super uncomfortable, but yeah, it just seems like oh, this is just feel like that super uncomfortable. But yeah, it just seems like, oh, this is just somewhat upscale.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Like, she should be fine. Like, she's not unused to like the world. I thought it was, I thought it was very funny that her like the, the mark of her lack of sophistication was always supposed to be that she wore a gene jacket. Uh-huh. Because my baby wears a gene jacket. Yeah. Not some's the case.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Mr. Babies are doing. Also, I'm led to believe that they've come back. Is this true? I don't know who, how? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, the stories do sometimes take him back. And then they went out again. Oh, no, it always happens. But yeah, they're like at some kind of a cocktail bar that looks like in the refurbished like Dumbo area that's over by like the Chaconis that opened up and one hotel down by the Brooklyn Bridge. This is extreme narrow casting, extreme regional narrow casting, not just a Dumbo neighborhood
Starting point is 00:36:15 in a specific corner of Dumbo. And they see at sitting at the bar is that literature professor who's going on and on about those thick ass books. And also, he's sitting with a handsome as we learn a book editor from a publisher that Reese Witherspoon has read every book from. And they go over and introduce themselves. And Reese Witherspoon talks about how she's read every single book that he's, he's edited or published. This should seem weird, but instead, he is very attracted because what man is not attracted
Starting point is 00:36:45 to a woman who justifies everything about his existence as being super important and fascinating. Is the thing man are most attracted to is someone else's interest in them. Also, I would say like the, like a big indicator of like not a real book lover is when you base your fandom on the publisher, like you've read everything by a certain publisher. Like especially because all the books that he mentions are completely different from each other. He's like, what about the spy thriller?
Starting point is 00:37:14 What about the Dust Bowl romance? He's like the A24 publishing, I guess. Yeah, exactly. That makes sense. It's a very strong brand. It's a 20 bucks spin of publishing. I mean, I guess you could say, I mean, I am a, I am big into Marvel comics. And that's me going by a specific publisher, I guess, but I feel like they've got a
Starting point is 00:37:33 way. They're going to be just fucking hate me. They've also like, you mean, like at this point, it's all woven in all the characters, like that that shared universe makes, it makes sense that you're a fan of like this as a brand rather than it's possible that this editor Theo played by Jesse Williams that it is a shared universe publisher and we're all the books together, you know. It was hard. It's hard to get the cookbooks in there, but they find a way.
Starting point is 00:37:54 He did it. So and he asks for Reese's number, which is funny to me because when I saw him and the professor sitting together, I assumed that the scene would be that they are gay and Reese tries to hit on them and it turns out they're not interested in her. But that's not the scene that happened at all. That would have been not a great comedy scene, but possibly a comedy scene. We didn't get a comedy scene out of this comedy scene.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Yeah, there aren't really, there's not much comedy in this rom, come. It's pleasant. And there's not much rom. Yeah, there's not much rom. There's not much rom. And Minka reveals to Reese with a spoon that, Ashton Kutcher, let's figure out what it has. Is there's not much wrong?
Starting point is 00:38:30 There's not much calm. There's a little bit of wrong. There's not much drama. If you say drama. Very little drama. Yeah. There's a lot of hyphen. There's a lot of hyphen.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Do it. Is there any crom in the hot, I'm smoking wish. I have to miss class because I need to go. It's a holiday for a crom and I'm fucking wish. He's just like, hey, I have to miss class because I need to go. It's a holiday for a crom for more sure. For some crom. This is the day when we celebrate not that crom gives us anything in life, but merely that he has gifts us with existence and the strength to persevere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:59 It's the log line would be it's young dumb and full of crumb. So exactly. So, uh, Minka says, you know, once I was looking at Ashton Kutcher's oven, and I found he had, he had, I see him for dime, I see him for dime. A fossil little peak behind the curtain. And I found a manuscript that he wrote. He secretly wrote a big novel. And researchers were like, he never told me he wrote a novel, but they tell each other. They tell each other everything. It's not everything, I guess. And Reese and Ashton, they're both stressed out by these revelations. They take baths and in split screen talk about it. Reese with a spoon, she says, you know what? I shouldn't do this. I'm going to start reading
Starting point is 00:39:38 this novel. She can't put it down. She even reads it in class, which is crazy. She has like five days of class. And she spends one of the reading her friends novel, just don't show up or I don't know what this is that important to put it down. She can't. She gives the manuscript to Theo, the editor and says, well, I edit it freelance. I'm the editor on it. And they learn they're both divorced with kids whose names rhyme, which they're, which in romcom. And they're both, both their kids are 13. Her kid is Jack. His kid is Mac, and this is in romcom logic. This means they should of course be together because they're, I mean, obviously, they shouldn't be together.
Starting point is 00:40:12 She should be with her best friend because romantic comedies have taught us a very toxic and dangerous lesson, which is that if you have a crush on your friend, you just have to either wait it out or do something crazy to show them that they should be with you. No, I will say. What's the other kids name? I think his son's name is Mack. Oh, that's right. Unless it's a daughter and it's Alex Mack, who has a whole secret life. There were, I mean, look, we did world.
Starting point is 00:40:35 There wasn't 20 years in between, but I did, Audrey and I did sort of briefly date and then become friends and then get married. So, you know, you know, Dan, I was called a toxic lesson. But Dan is saying is right, if you are out there and you have a crush on one of your friends, if she says she's not interested, well, that's not what happened. That part, that part, if she says no, that's not what happened. That part. That part. If she says, no, that's the four-month message. That part. That part. That part. I didn't have it. Romantic comedies and Dan say, no, just give you a little more time.
Starting point is 00:41:15 I know. Respect boundaries. What no means do a bigger stunt that shows how much you care. I didn't do it as fun. Anyway, so I'm imagining myself like doing a little bit of a stunt together. I'm like, I'm going to jump this door and drive a car through a plate glass window. I'm going to show you how much I love you. We should be together. Yeah. So there's not very much chemistry between recent action. What about between Debbie and Theo? Is there chemistry between her and this editor? What did you guys, so there's not very much chemistry between recent action. What about between Debbie and Theo? Is there chemistry between her and this editor?
Starting point is 00:41:47 What did you guys think? Yes. More than. It's five. More than. I feel like there was more. I did feel like it was. I was like, who am I supposed to be rooting for?
Starting point is 00:41:55 Yeah, exactly. This is one that doesn't have easy answers for you. Yeah. We may just be reacting to the facts that they are in the same room on a date versus in the split screen on the phone. He's beautiful. He's beautiful. And he's awesome. He's small during exactly. And he gives, he's giving her that look. He is bringing a similar scene reversed with, I don't know if we're at that point yet.
Starting point is 00:42:26 We're not, but we can talk about it later on. The theater goes on a, meets up at a bar on a date with an ex played by Shiree Applebee from, from the round. From the round. On script, or unreal. Unreal, yeah. And she again, is, she's serving it.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Like she brings that kind of like intense energy to the scene much more than say, it seems like they have chemistry. I thought at first she was Rumi Mara and I was like, wow, I can't believe she did women talking and now this seems like a backslide. They look like that. Hey, everyone's got to work. You got to work for a living. That was a, that was a, that was a short scene.
Starting point is 00:43:05 So don't make too much fun of me that I missed it, considering that Hallie also fell asleep for part of the movie, but I don't, I don't know, I dragged you into this, but I can't believe I missed Sherry Applebee. I like. Well, the movie's on Netflix. Just go back and watch it.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I mean, you know, the order paid for the service. I mean, it's not a great scene. Okay. So, um, Ashton, he, but I'm sure Netflix would love the views. Yeah. So ashton, they will tell no one about, uh, Ashton, tells you somewhere between zero and a billion views this guy, the most watched thing.
Starting point is 00:43:39 And, yeah, a Netflix is like, Hey, guess what? This is the number one watch show on all of Netflix. By the way, it starts playing automatically as soon as you open up the service. And we put it on everyone's phone. You have to opt out of watching this movie. But guess what? It's a huge success.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Everyone's watching it. So Ashton tells Jack, hey, the reason I listen to the cars is because it helps connect me with my terrible dad that was absent from most of my life. And he says, Jack, you need to join the hockey team. And Jack is like, finally, what I've always wanted in hugs him. And guess what? Theo, that publisher, he read the book overnight, he loves it, wants to talk about the author and take resout to dinner. Ooh. And Ashden convinces the hockey coach to let Jack try out for the team. And Jack tells Ashton he doesn't suck after having a really great try out for the team.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Ashton, he's starting to loosen up a little. I mean, he was supposed to be the loose, anything goes guy, but he's starting to loosen up. He apologizes to Zen, Steve Zahn's character, but he's weird out. Weirded out when Zen refers to himself as Reese's part-time lover. And again, I can't tell if this is something that is real or if he is reading this into the situation. That's what.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Is this another figment of their imagination? Is he not even real? Also. It would be funny if you just cut to a shot of someone walking by the house and the garden is all overgrown and there's creeper vines all over that. It's like we've always lived in the castle.
Starting point is 00:45:06 It's all rotted away, but they think that they're imagining that this gardener is taking care of it all this time. There is a scene where Zen is climbing up a window right by Ashencouture's face and he's wearing these like very thin harem pants when the sun goes right through it and I'm like, I could really use like a giant weiner in balls, silhouette or something in there. You know what I mean, guys? You know, talking about that.
Starting point is 00:45:30 I mean, it shows you the level of the- Sure, I often say you like that. They show that from the Fable Mints. Yeah, yeah. It shows you that that's same joke basically happens twice in the war with grandpa. So this movie is operating on a similar joke level to the war with grandpa that someone's crotch is too close to a window that someone else is standing at. They don't like seeing it, you know.
Starting point is 00:45:49 The, where you just remember the see through dress and the people means that when they're like, they're like, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son,
Starting point is 00:46:02 son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, son, We can see her vagina and boof through her dress. Get into this. She's already on that fucking TikTok translator. And then make a video of it, please. And please, it's the only thing reminding her of her sexy body. It's the only thing that will help her grief. It won't, when you're, when you're, your, your, your mom's mom died. So we need, we need you to put together a footage of how fucking hot she is. We know it would make me feel better.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Yeah. It's like, well, I know that you just, you lost a parent, but at the same, at the same point, you're spunking. She gave you. Look at what she's left behind. Anyway, so the, she's, so, anyway, because Sivzhan is like, hey, I figure if I hang around long enough, she'll realize that we should be in love. And if not, I'll be a friend with benefits.
Starting point is 00:46:47 And I'm like, but are you really like, is that a thing that's actually happening? It doesn't get brought up again. I mean, yeah, it never gets clarified, but the fact, I mean, I thought that there wasn't any relationship. But now that I'm thinking about like the fact that Reese never mentioned him to Ashland Coacher, I feel like does suggest that there was something and she's just kind of hiding it from it. And it's like, what do you think Stuart?
Starting point is 00:47:11 Where's the thing? I think he deserves more, you know, like don't minimize yourself, Zen. Like you're, you're an attentive guy. I can only assume an amazing lover. You dress well. You want somebody who wants to be with you. Well, you know, he wants a garden to tend and she's not going to be that for him. She does, she who wants to be with you. He wants a garden to tend. And she's not going to be that for him.
Starting point is 00:47:28 She just refused to be that garden, and you know that he's an attentive lover. You know that he prioritizes his partner's pleasure, because he spends his whole day tending the garden of someone who knows of his neighbor, someone else. Can D tell us we should tend our own garden. Which he doesn't do. He makes it very clear he has a landscaper who works his own garden. Can D is also, I mentioned Candid into my family recently because my kids were making some joke
Starting point is 00:47:49 about eating each other's butts or something. And I was like, I was like, well, Candid, there is a character who had to eat half of her own butt during a famine to survive. And my wife was like, what? Like what are you telling them? And I'm like blame Voltaire lady. I didn't, I didn't like it.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I didn't like it. I'm a literature, I guess. Oh, you don't need that. Miss band books over here. Oh, suddenly the librarian doesn't want her kids to dip into the classics. Oh, interesting. So Reese goes on her book date dinner. They bond over classic novels and quotes. It's all, it's very cringey. And this was when I really started suspecting that this movie was written by ChatGPT because all of their references were like, you read Fockner? I believe Mark Twain said that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:33 And there's like, there's no way Mark Twain said that or maybe he did, I don't know. But I mean, and Ashton Kutcher, meanwhile, the other side of the country seems to telepathically sense that something is a miss with Reese. And he doesn't have the time to help Jack with his project on the Spanish-American War, which Jack is supposed to be working on this thing for days, but he goes, he actually goes, who was in the Spanish-American War? And it's like how little research have you done, Jack? Maybe you should have been watching Alien, because you have not been working on this project.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Are you allergic to homework too, you little idiot? Wow. Uh, Reese and the editor, they accidentally activate the home camera in Ashton's apartment while they start having sex. And Ashton catches a glimpse of it on his phone and is so horrified that he has to hurl his phone away from him and rush off to a bar and call up an ex. Real quick. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:23 So do you think that, that just, that security system came with the apartment? Because it's a dormant building. Do you think that security system came with the apartment? Because that guy doesn't, it's not like, he's worried people are going to steal his like lack of furniture, right? Doesn't that have anything in there? As we see, the dormant spends most of his time, just scribbling things on a clipboard, much like an extra who has not been given that much to do with their character.
Starting point is 00:49:50 And we have one to watch. Also, I think you're showing a lot of faith in a Dormann as a security system, like a single Dormann. Also, I have a question. Whenever I see someone using an iPad, that to me is a marker of like an old person, but is that not how most people feel? Because like that, because the security system was on an iPad, the only other person I know
Starting point is 00:50:20 who uses an iPad is my father, who's 80 years old. Adam Choddekoff. Hi, hi, Chad. I know you're listening. He uses an iPad is my father who's 80 years old. Adam Choddikoff. Hi, hi, Chad. I know you're listening. He uses an iPad also. But sorry, he loves a tablet. So is that not like a, would you guys, is that an accurate generalization or do you
Starting point is 00:50:39 enough? I mean, I have my, I see a lot of small children using iPads also. Yeah, I keep like really small kids. Wait a minute, that's what the Sphinx meant with her riddle. Exactly. One animal uses an iPad in the morning, uses an iPhone in the afternoon, and uses an iPad again in the evening.
Starting point is 00:50:56 It was man. It was man, the city of Thebes can be freed. Oh, finally we did it, we solved that riddle. Is that what the riddle did? I just recently realized that I'm familiar with the riddle. I have no idea what the surround. Yes, that was because this thing's, that's, I mean, you know, Etappis, right, the guy who married his mom, like before that play.
Starting point is 00:51:15 I call him Lex. I call him Rex. We named him after the dog, Rex. The dog? The backstory that play is literally that he went to Thebes and answered the Spinks is riddle and saved Thebes. And so it's like, that's the same, same dude. So it's like, oh, not, he does, they never really brought up how, they don't bring up much
Starting point is 00:51:36 in this play, how he like, outweated a monster, which would be an interesting thing to do. But anyway, so, any who, a very who are you should marry Reese Witherspoon. Oh, both like books. Yeah, okay. So this is where Ashen keeps you know, that buts and candy. Yeah. Oh man. Me and me and me and we have everything in common. She loves that. I mean, feel about Mementos or as Ashen Kutcher's daughter calls them Mentos. Yeah. Okay. So do feel about Memento's or as action kitchens creator calls them Mento's. Yeah. Okay. So this is another thing. Ashen Kutcher. It's been established. Hates Memento's he keeps saying there's
Starting point is 00:52:09 least favorite kind of Mento, which will play later. Yeah. But the thing is he likes Memento, but he comes up with kind of a BS explanation as to who the characters are and what they're doing. Yeah. They're all existing as brain. Yeah. Exactly. It all exists in his brain, much like Tignitaro in this movie.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Uh, so this is when Shiri Apple be comes in and he's called her up and she's like, why don't we come to my place and he's like, I'll just go home instead. And he then goes home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the same thing he did to the bartender. So he shows up and he's like, bartender's like, what do you have?
Starting point is 00:52:39 He's like, I'd love a double Johnny Black, but I'll actually have this. And he did the same thing to her because by giving her a booty call, he's like, I'd like to have sex with you, but I'm not going to. Is that how you prefer people to order their drinks, like to have like a joke order before they tell you what they're actually ordering? Now, I love it more than anything. I love it when customers do bits with me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Now, all bartenders work all day on their feet, but Stu likes it when his patrons keep him on his toes. So come on in order something and change it. The last minute he loves that. Ashton goes back and talks to imaginary friend Tignotara about how when he met Reese Witherspoon 20 years ago, he felt instantly in love with her and meant to tell her how he felt, but he was, I guess, what, intimidated to something. So he waited a couple days.
Starting point is 00:53:25 And then when he saw her again, she was with a boyfriend, so he didn't say anything. And by the time he was ready to tell her how he really felt again, she was pregnant. And taking the time, I was like, why don't you just tell her now, how you feel? And he's like, I can't do it. It's too big a risk. I can't do it. And just wait for you guys to say something. You know what I think?
Starting point is 00:53:43 The next day, I thought that the spring that winds you up and finally gone down. No, I was like, you know what, I've been interrupting them a lot. Let me let them talk and instead silence. Well, I mean, there's no indication we had anything to say. The way to compare is crunchy. I guess that's a confirmation that you need to talk as much as you do.
Starting point is 00:54:04 That's what you just talked about. I'm just going to use the word on this one. It was confusing. So the next day. But the next day. No, how to parse you, not saying words. No, I've heard my last night. She just keeps talking until you force me to stop.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Next day, Reese Witherspoon wakes up late for her final. Yet somehow still finishes it before summer for classmates. Can I point out, she, so she wakes up late for her final. She wakes up in bed with Theo and he's like, you're late for what? And she makes up a story, but the thing is when she first met him, he was with that professor and he was like, I remember you from my class. She doesn't have to lie. That's true.
Starting point is 00:54:37 We watch her lying. Also at this point, we've skipped a thing that like, I wanted to point out just in terms of like how bad this is. So you did have something to say before. a thing that like I wanted to point out just in terms of like how bad this movie is about being either a New Yorker in LA movie. There's a point at which like they're out there talking and they like talk about some poem about the Brooklyn Bridge or whatever. And like they're like walking in Dumbo, a Brooklyn Bridge park, like it's very recognizable if you live in New York where they're at. And like she's talking about Brooklyn Bridge and park, like, it's very recognizable if you live in New York, where they're at,
Starting point is 00:55:05 and like, she's talking about Brooklyn Bridge and he's like, yeah, but that's one thing that's the Manhattan Bridge. And like, guys, like the Brooklyn Bridge is also visible from where you're at. Right near you. Like, what is going on? Well, that's him. That's him gaslighting her and playing the game. You know, he's got to neg her a little bit, I guess.
Starting point is 00:55:23 So he's been doing nothing but compliments time to time to take her down a peg. I don't like it. I don't approve of it. Wait, but back to Stuart's observation about the classes that she was taking. So she was not in this English professor's role. So when the professor says you were in my class,
Starting point is 00:55:38 he's just remembering it wrong. That's why I remember he's remembering seeing her. But wouldn't it be way fucking lame or if you were like a legit editor of books and you were taking like English professor like 101 class? Like that would be very if you were I would be fusing. Yeah. I think it would be cooler to be taking an accounting class if I agree. I have to because it was because you're learning the business side of your business, which is only going to help you. I mean, that's a good thing to do. I have two, because you're learning the business side of your business, which is only gonna help you.
Starting point is 00:56:06 I mean, that's a good thing to do. I have two possible explanations. One is that she could say, I only had it thin books. I was in your thick books class. I'm learning about thick books. I'm working with thin books. I made it in thin books. I made it in thin books.
Starting point is 00:56:23 The journalist and the murderer, she only says quick books. And she's like, that sounds like an accounting thing. Like, no, no, I hate accounting. No accounting is quick books. Yeah. And also, he's so into her, I think he's kind of not really, doesn't really care.
Starting point is 00:56:36 He doesn't really care about, if the story checks out. Yeah, she's worried he might have post nut clarity. Wow. Wow. Ask your doctor if you're suffering from post nut clarity. Wow. Ask your doctor if you're suffering from post nut clarity. I've never heard that phrase. Well, cool. You're not in the same chat rooms as Dan. I didn't say it. Dan's not the one who said it. What's going on? Now I want to see, now I want to
Starting point is 00:57:02 see that as a concept in in in porn in porn videos We're instead of ending when the sex is over the sex finishes and then the guy goes, oh hold on a second I have some bills. I have to pay It came to me to answer to the equation. I've been working on these videos That's yeah, finally I can I can solve that last theorem But she, she, besides she wants to thank Ashton for what he's done for and letting her stay there. So she goes out and buy like a bunch of house plants and rugs and pillows and her aesthetic
Starting point is 00:57:36 is just from a street vendor like her aesthetic is just as impersonal as he is. Like he looks like one kind of Airbnb. Hers looks like a different kind of Airbnb. And the editor asked her out again, but she finds another package hidden in Ashton's house. It's an envelope full of mementos of her, but he hates mementos. Not meant to. It's an envelope full of mementos, the fresh maker. And she used it to sneak into backstage at a concert and to have a car moved by a bunch of big guys. Oh, man. That fucking flipped my wig when I saw that shit the first time.
Starting point is 00:58:06 You can just have dudes pick your car and move it, okay? Yeah, man. Did I, have I said on the podcast, the Mentos commercial that I have been, that I always wanted to do that I came up with when I was a teenager? Where is this is a, this is, if I've talked about four of the podcasts, I apologize. Pretend this is like the late Gilbert Godfried on his podcast, talking about old ladies in Hollywood with their sex chimps, story he told many times.
Starting point is 00:58:29 But this, where you see a guy who's at a parade and he can't see over the crowd in front of him, he's like, oh, he's so frustrated, he can't see over them. And then he eats a Mentos and comes up with an idea. And then he runs up the stairs to a tower and then picks up a sniper rifle and he's shooting through the sights and this is a breeder film. He shoots President Kennedy and then the police burst through the door and he turns around
Starting point is 00:58:50 and shows them the Mentos and they're all like, he did it. That's a really good idea. That's it. If I worked at SNL 30 years ago, that would be my parody commercial that I would do. Nowadays that's like right for like adult swimmers. They still do 30 They still do. Third year old reference. Oh, I should get that job.
Starting point is 00:59:07 That's where I should be working. Okay. Anyway, he has all these mementos. It's all stuff from their relationship over the years, including a poker chip from the night they met. And she has a poker chip from the night they met. They both kept one. What would that mean?
Starting point is 00:59:20 And what are the odds? Yeah, yeah, because of gambling. Let that one sit for a minute. Let that one sit for a minute. Yeah. The prestige. And, uh, Mika says to Reese, she's like, obviously you love Aston and you always have. You have to, she says, you have to take a chance.
Starting point is 00:59:39 And Reese goes, I don't take chances, which is, she's already gone cross country to take an accounting course so that she can already gone cross country to take an accounting course so that she can make a big change in her career. Like she is taking a chance. Like, she and her take chances. Is this a scene where she's like, I don't, I don't want to roll the dice and Mink is like enough with the poker reference. Yeah, that was funny.
Starting point is 00:59:57 I wanted, I wanted them to go a little bit farther and have her sail and have her make a joke about how there's no dice in poker, but they didn't. Uh, wait, and there's no crying in baseball. I've been doing it all wrong all these years. And uh, cry baby, Kaelin may call them. You're right. You're right. You're the classic age.
Starting point is 01:00:18 They couldn't see the ball because it was the tears in his eyes. Uh, in a cab, Reese just flips through photos of her and Ashton and just remembers the night they met and how hot it was, not as hot as your mom dancing in car lights in the woods in a see through dry mom. How dare you get your name. Get her name out of your mouth. No, I'm sorry. I'm in this is the moment. This is the moment. The dad is just like, son, son, record this. We need to do emotional damage to you. Somebody made like a fan came out of that with some kind of like, you know, like sexy song yet. Uh, probably.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Like that set. Is that a sleepwalk? Yeah. Hell, you thought you were doing. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap for that scene. We're all rapists. Pepe, pepe, pepe. Now what is this? This is how he sang. Pepe, pepe, pepe, pepe. He was tossing the app.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I think this was like the year I studied abroad that that was like became burned in my head. It's like the party time. This is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year.
Starting point is 01:01:19 I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this is the year. I think this was like the year I studied abroad that that was like became burned in my head as like the party song. This is an actual song. You guys not get that reference?
Starting point is 01:01:32 That's it. Because I sing it to my child every Friday. I'm not familiar. Unless, does it, are there any appearances by any appearances by a bangle bus in that song? No. Okay. So the b bang bus is not coming. It's got no, but it's got the it's got the banga rhythm. Okay, then I'm not familiar with it.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Okay. And the editors at this dinner, he's like Reese Witherspoon. I've got to tell you I put you up for a job at a publisher and I think you got you got you got an interview there. And I would hire you at my publisher, but if we're gonna have a relationship, we shouldn't be working together, which is very ethical on this part. And he pitches it pretty well.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Like he's like, even if we don't have, if there's any idea that we might explore this. Like, he actually pitches it, and he's looking at her with those big eyes the whole time and I'm like, damn girl. Beautiful eyes. He's a great, great catch for her. And this is intercut, however,
Starting point is 01:02:26 with Jack playing in his first hockey game and getting injured. Oh, no. So Reese is like, I'm sorry. I think I'm in love with somebody else. Love it. So crazy, right? And then she gets that phone, that phone call where Ash and Kutcher is like, uh, Jackson, the hospital, he got hurt playing hockey and she's like, what? And she gets so mad. She demands to talk to her son, which I understand. You'd want to talk to your son in that moment. And he's like, mom, I had such a great week. I saw Alien. I got to play hockey.
Starting point is 01:02:49 It was wonderful. But she's just so mad that he might be injured. And she yells at Ashen and she hurries home right away. And where did she tell them not to be there when she's there? And she goes, don't be there when I get there. Leave him alone. I can't help it. Leave him alone.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Exactly. Nobody needs to leave. Our shared delusion, T my child. Leave him alone. Exactly. Nobody needs to leave our shared delusion, Tignitaro can watch it, my guess, while you're away. And so they, they meet up, they bump into each other at the airport standing in for LAX, which it is clearly not, if you've ever been to LAX, unless they've got a new, new terminal. And they bump into each other, I think seeing a mural for the Will Rogers State Park, which is a great state park. It's a beautiful beach. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Yeah, but it's, but that mural doesn't exist in LAX. Not as far as I know. I mean, LAX is just everything about it looks different than that, than that, uh, uh, then there they don't have any. That's like DIA. Honestly, that looked like the Denver airport. That's what I thought maybe I thought maybe it was filmed there. But in the Denver airport, I mean, I thought maybe I thought maybe it was filmed there. I mean, the Denver airport.
Starting point is 01:03:45 I mean, it's all glass windows and then it has those escalators or the people movers. Yeah. Yeah. If it was LAX, they'd be having this conversation outside of what the Ford fuel station or exactly or the lemonade place or whatever it's called or in the end. The only things that are whether they called. We don't know what people, people, movers are like. For the list, how is taking two hands and just kind of moving them past each other?
Starting point is 01:04:15 They're not, they're not. They're not moving sidewalks for people movers. But they're not next to each other. Like the two that are going different directions are opposite sides of a wall and there are no windows unlike DIA where they're they look exactly like. We're hanging about how good your airport is. Sorry. Not sorry. How do we do? We're one battlefield earth. We were I was like, oh, we need how he here to tell us how accurate this is. This is takes place in Denver takes place in the year 3000. We were, I was like, oh, we need Halley here to tell us how accurate this is to call about. It takes place in Denver, in the year 3000.
Starting point is 01:04:47 I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, I got to see it. I've been. I've been to the year 3000. I guess I'll just go, go buy a ticket to your chat. Go to flop.com.com. You can see that you can see the show.
Starting point is 01:05:02 It's a fun show. They bump into each other. They get mad at each other. She's mad at Ashton. Ashton's mad at her and they yell at each other and separate until Reese trips and drops her poker chip, Momento. And that is what turns her around. And as she goes, Ashton, wait, she doesn't say Ashton. That's not his character in the middle. That'd be wild if she did that right. And uh, Ashen goes, I'm so mad at you because I love you so much. And she's like, Oh, so you love me and he goes, No, I don't love you. I'm overwhelmingly in love with you. He didn't say overwhelming. He said, I'm madly in love with you. But he has a couple other words in there too, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Manly. Yeah. Yeah. He says, I have love for Laura compassion for you. But uh, they may and they start making out right there in the middle of whatever. What did you love for? I have a sea of love for you. No, that's the best part when he said when she goes, does this meme we're not going to be friends? No Debbie. We're not going to be friends.
Starting point is 01:05:58 And then he smushes his lips around her lips. And she's like, no, I did not. Never mind. Wow. The thing is that like this, I don't know, it just, it didn't work for me. I'm sorry, gay. No, of course not.
Starting point is 01:06:14 It did not. No, at all. You're right. It's so, there's no feeling that they should be together at all, yeah. And like, I feel like the actors are like, I guess I gotta play it this way. Huh, like I don And like, I feel like the actors are like, I guess I got to play it this way. I got to know. I feel there's a, there's a kind of passion, but in the characters
Starting point is 01:06:31 that's missing. And like, I've seen, you've seen movies where characters are mad at each other. And then suddenly they're mad. They're, it's because they have this passion that's well done. And they start making love to each other. Like that happens in movies and you buy it. But in this one, it feels so like, it just feels very artificial, you know, it feels very forced. Anyway, 50, I may be wrong because 15 minutes later as the text tells us, they're walking out of the airport holding hands. And then the text comes up again six months later. And we're told in text that Ashton's book has been published in six fucking months. Come on. Six months later, the book, because it's just that good, Dan. It's just that good. I mean,
Starting point is 01:07:05 it's not publishing is runs very, very slow. It takes a long time, but they stopped the presses in Malaysia on all on whatever Stephen King's new book is that they could print out Peter Coleman's book. Yeah. James Patterson is. I had 10 books coming out this year. Now I only have nine books coming out this year. Now I only have nine books coming out this year. The one of the things is the, so the text is telling us updating us on what has happened in the intervening time. He's moved in, Reese is an independent editor now.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And they specify, they'll say specific things and then it'll specify in ellipses which character it applies to. And I'm like, yeah, no shit. I didn't think Reese Witherspoon was doing a lot of hockey. Yes, they were worried we're not watching the movie a lot. And then that was one of the jokes in the movie. That was one of the 10 jokes. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:07:58 I was used to them by that point. What's weird about it? It says six months later, and it's showing this this over text over a shot through their window of them just being in their house. There's no scene here. They don't say anything. And then the camera pulls away and the text is like, and they live happily ever after just kidding. Marriage is hard, but they had a happy life. It was like movie. It was like the end of Thor Ragnarok where I was like, movie, you're over. End. There's no I need more movie at this point. Obviously, I kind of like the other thing saying,
Starting point is 01:08:24 they live happy ever after no marriage is hard, because like, that is a problem with rom-com. It's just like it ends and like, and now at the moment of pureness, we're going to pretend that, like, this will last forever. I wanted to be like this. I wanted to be like, the movie maintained a steady level of realism. You want to be like, I'm just looking.
Starting point is 01:08:44 I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. I level of realism. You want to be like, are they so hard for it for the for the whole movie? I'm looking. Why? Blowing now for the pearl and the sea of gritty oysters that the movie has served me. You want it to be like the Buster Keaton movie.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I think it's I do, but I can't remember which one where he gets the girl at the end. He finally wins her and then it fades to black and it fades up to them as old people who hate each other. And then it goes to the end. That's a good gag. Yeah, the same way that I think it's in cops where he's trying to get the girl and he fails to get her at the end. And then it cuts to a tombstone with his hat on it that says the end. It's like, they leave us on a down note. The show cops.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Why are you leaving us on a down note? The show cops. Yeah, my toy scheme was arrested on the street cops. Bad boy. Call them the great stone face, guys. So that was your place or mine. It's romantic comedy with Ezra saying not so a little bit of rom, not so much calm, but let's give our final judgment on it, shall we? Uh, yes, this is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie we kind of like, I'm going
Starting point is 01:09:52 to say it's a bad, bad movie. However, it does serve its purpose, uh, as a Netflix, uh, release, which is provides a thumbnail to fill that screen. Something mildly pleasant to have on while you're doing chores around the house. Yeah, even if there's nobody talking, there's probably a car song playing. Yeah, you'll follow the plot because there'll be no surprises. It'll be okay. It was very funny watching it. I watched the first half of the movie with Danielle and the second half I watched on my own.
Starting point is 01:10:20 And the first half Danielle's like, oh, and now she's going to give the manuscript to the editor. And he's going to be mad about it because she did it without asking him, but she did it anyway. I watched on my own. And the first half Daniel's like, oh, and now she's gonna give the manuscript to the editor and he's gonna be mad about it because she did it without asking him, but she did it anyway. And that's gonna, I was like, huh, have you seen this movie already? And she was able to just connect those dots so easily.
Starting point is 01:10:35 I would also say, it's a bad, bad movie, but it is not a painful movie, but yeah, it's kind of like a, it's like the NHGTV movie. Like you throw on a GTV show and you're like, this isn't, I'm not, this is not a show that's doing much for me, but it is filling the time between now and death in a way that it's not disgusting or unpleasant or, you know.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Yeah, I'm stuck in this hotel room, I guess, this episode of Pond Stars will keep me through the day. Exactly. Yeah, I guess I this episode of Pond Stars will get me through the day. Exactly. Yeah, I guess I'm with you both. I will say that I like, like a lot of romantic comedies. I liked a lot of the supporting characters, and they brought a little bit of life to another wise, fairly dreary, exposition heavy movie.
Starting point is 01:11:23 So yeah, bad bad. You wonder how would this movie be different if it was like Zoe Chow and Jesse Williams as the leads, not doing the exact same characters as Reese with the swim and national culture, but like putting the characters who have like a more of a spark about them. But maybe it's because when you're in one
Starting point is 01:11:37 of those supporting roles, you have more to prove. Like this could be a big break for your career as opposed to just the next movie you're pumping out. And I wonder if that's why those roles often are like the are the breakout roles, because the person who has them This could be a big break for your career as opposed to just the next movie you're pumping out. I wonder if that's why those roles often are like the are the breakout roles because the person who has them has more of an incentive to like make something of it. Halle, what was your judgment? Okay, guys, I'm coming down hard.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Okay. I have a lot. I've held it in. I've held it back a little bit, but I want to say what I think. I think this is a bad, bad movie, and I was offended by it. And the reasons why are. Tell us. Tell us. Because it was so, like, if you're going to be bad, be bad in a certain way. Like, be bad with character. Like, what was that movie that we watched with a- Ome you madness? Yes, exactly. Be bad that way. But if it's a movie, especially if it's a movie,
Starting point is 01:12:27 not a TV show, it made me so angry that this movie was so generic, despite having these big stars, like really the fact, and it made me even more angry because before I saw this movie, I heard an interview with Eileen Brosh-McHenna, who was talking about how one of her, like one of the skills that she learned when she was making this network show for when she was doing crazy ex-girlfriend was like she was became very flexible about like making things
Starting point is 01:12:59 cheaper. And then when I was watching this movie, I was like, why did you make this so cheap? Like if it's going gonna be a movie, just like pay for it to be a fucking movie, and don't have, like, we've obviously talked a lot about how both cities were completely drained of character. But like, the charm of shitty B movies is that it actually gives you a sense of character
Starting point is 01:13:22 of the place that it's set in because it's so budget. You know, but this was just a sad, like it made me really sad about what our goals are in making movies in the future. And I also will say, okay, I thought like Ashen Kutcher was way better than Respoilerspoon in this movie. Did you guys not think that? Because I believed Ash and Kutcher was way better than Reese Boother's spoon in this movie. Did you guys not think that because I believed Ash and Kutcher and like maybe, maybe a Reese
Starting point is 01:13:51 Boother's spoon was given the heavier lift of like the like totally nonsensical plot twists. But like, because like that whole thing about like, I found this thing in his oven. I can't talk about it with him, but I can't read it. Like, I feel like that, that was the level, the way that was used as this huge plot device felt so inauthentic. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:21 That it made her seem bad and I was like, wait, but I've seen her in so many things where I really liked her. So why am I believing Ashen Kutcher so much more than I'm believing Reese Witherspoon is Ashen Kutcher better? And I don't think that that's necessarily true because she has been good in so many things. But this did not highlight.
Starting point is 01:14:43 I think my theory on that is that Reese Witherspoon and Ashley Kutcher are both giving kind of the similar levels of energy, but Ashley Kutcher, like you're saying, is being asked to do less. He has a character who can coast on charm, and her character cannot coast on charm. Like it's not that kind of character. You can just draw a little fancy rental car. I will also say two other things, which is like you expect more out of her, whereas like, look, I mean, I have fond enough feelings towards
Starting point is 01:15:07 action, but I'm not like this is like, I'm not generally like, oh, this is like an actor. Exactly. But all I was looking for just was like authenticity. Yeah. I believe it wasn't like I was expecting some great performance, but I was like, this wreaths with her spoon looks silly in this movie and she looks like she's acting versus Ashen Kutcher, who I was like, yeah, I believe that there's this fucking
Starting point is 01:15:27 stupid kind of dude. Well, the other thing I wanted to say is, I do think that like, she's given her harder lift because Ashen Kutcher's given a very simple, likeable thing to play, which is like, he's gonna come into this life and he's gonna provide something for this child that the kid has been missing.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Like, this looseness of the kid has been missing. And that is like relatable and understandable in a way that like, you know, she's off having misadventures that don't really add up to those like. Well, I don't, but then, but also I feel this is something, I guess this is a larger problem with movies is that anytime there's a character who is anxious and protective and a character who is like, hey, roll with the punches. Let's just live. That second character is always going to be proved right.
Starting point is 01:16:12 I think the only movie I can think of where someone takes the responsible choices like a thousand clowns, maybe, where he gives up. Cramer versus Cramer. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm quite well. I don't know exactly if that's like, I mean, he's responsible character, but I know if Merrill Streep is just going to like, hey, loosen up,'m quite well, I don't know exactly if that's like, I mean, he's responsible character, but I know of Merrill Streep, it's just going to like a, hey, loosen up, live and let live character in that. I mean, she kind of has a breakdown and runs away.
Starting point is 01:16:30 But yeah, but it's, she, right off the bat. But she doesn't take the kid back. No, that's true. But very few, okay, so the, but the majority of movies are all about how you got to loosen up. And so she right off the bat also is playing a character who you know is going to be proven wrong. His character is maybe gonna learn a little bit at more responsibility, but he doesn't really.
Starting point is 01:16:50 He's proven right because every chance he takes with Jack turns out fine, even when he gets injured, it's fine. He's not really hurt badly. And so to have a character like Reese Witherspoon, where you know for moment one, the movie is telling you, her arc is to learn how to take chances and not be safe. And that Ashton Kutcher's arc is to be less self-involved, I guess, but he's not particularly self-involved.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Like, we never see him being, he keeps saying, I'm a real piece of shit, but he's not, he doesn't do anything particularly. He's not cheating on his girlfriend in the beginning. He's just not ambitious. Not making a lot of mistakes, or anything. Yeah. But so it's, so she has a, she has a, they've given her a hard challenge. But hard Challenge, but I think how you write you're so right about the genericness of it And I feel like the most damning thing I can say about the movie is that like the word content to mean
Starting point is 01:17:33 Our entertainment or artistic creative stuff this movie is content like it's not you know There's no it doesn't feel like there's any sense of like Like artistic inspiration or anything is just kind of like hey Let's and and I apologize to the creators of the film if they were like, we worked hard on that. It's a special story to us, but it comes to our advantage. I'm just telling it. Please still do. We were, we were, we had the phone in our hand and then we thought, wait, this podcast
Starting point is 01:17:58 just popped up. Yeah, before I call it, let me listen to the most recent episode of this podcast. I had dialed every number except for the last number and then they changed the number which goes to Tony Gilroy instead of you. No, no, I don't think Gilroy is like- You have the exact same number except for that last number. I know, and I mean while Tony Gilroy's podcast, he's like, I loved this movie. I loved it.
Starting point is 01:18:18 It was great. But the interview that I heard, like it made me really sad because I, in retrospect, it didn't make me sad when I was listening to it, but it was like, she was talking about how this was the first thing she had ever directed. Yeah. And how, you know, now she has the experience of being a writer, director, and it was like, girl, sometimes I get it. I was rooting for you.
Starting point is 01:18:44 We were all rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. We got so don't get that meme because it's America's next top model. Oh, okay. I hate that. But for all the ladies out there, you got it. Or men who watch America's next top model, or non-binary people who watch America's next top, I'm just like, true, true, true. I don't know who gets that meme. You got that meme.
Starting point is 01:19:03 As a director, you got to kiss a lot of frogs, is what we're saying. Well, I wonder if it was like, I'm a first time director, I'm gonna take it easy. And I wonder if she was the Reese Witherspoon as director, she was taking it safe instead of making big swings. Cause I feel like the first time.
Starting point is 01:19:15 But she's no, I mean, I think that I blame actually Netflix. Cause I think Netflix makes everything bad. Yeah, Netflix is, I mean, there was a time, you know, towards the beginning of getting to streaming where they had to like make a name for themselves so they're like, okay, let's get both this up. And Roma, they made Roma? We made Roma, man.
Starting point is 01:19:32 You know, they still do greats. I mean, like, they still do or acquire great stuff from time to time, but I do think that like as now they're big, they're just like, okay, we just got to keep shoveling coal on this thing and we can't pay attention to whether it's good coal or bad coal. You know, what's bad coal? Uh, coal is pretty bad. Yeah, coal is a, I mean, the good coal, I guess, is the coal you don't.
Starting point is 01:20:01 Have you seen the affair? That's a bad call. For all the affair watchers out there. You can bet. I feel like there was that bad. He's really, really, really, really good. You know what she's talking about. I remember there were definitely scenes set around, Grand Army Plaza maybe, and I was like,
Starting point is 01:20:17 oh, I've been there. No, there were a bunch of scenes set in Greenpoint. There was one set at the pencil factory. What the fuck? The affair, everybody. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What the fuck? Yeah. The affair, everybody. Ha ha ha. More narrow casting, more Brooklyn narrow casting, yeah. BELL RINGS Hey there, beautiful people. I am your favorite off the rest, Trayville, and
Starting point is 01:20:37 a descend of we see each other. A black trade's dirty through TV and feel you. You know, this is supposed to be a promo for our show Fantai, and not your book, right? It's called Motie Tasking. I can't with you right now. through TV and feel. You know, this is supposed to be a promo for our show Fantai, and not your book, right? It's called Motie Tasking. I can't with you right now. Treval and I have an award winning show called Fantai that we both host and into podcasts where we dig into the complex and complicated conversations
Starting point is 01:20:55 about the gray areas in our lives. Perhaps there is a public figure of some sort and you're like, oh, that person's so smart and so charming but you're also like, oh, that person gets on my nose. Okay, okay. You can catch us every week right here on Max Fun or wherever you get your slayworthy audio. And you can watch us on the YouTube every Friday.
Starting point is 01:21:15 That's Fantai, F-A-M-T-I. Since we reached our highest milestone during the Max Fun Drive, we are creating a Max Fun Foley Library full of sound effects from your favorite hosts. The whole Max Fun community will be able to use it, so what would you like it to feature? People high-fiving, walking through mud, chicken-clucking, jazz-cazoo, head to maximumumFun.org slash Foley. That's MaximumFun.org slash F-O-L-E-Y, and submit your ideas. We are excited to make this silly thing together, and even more excited to see what you all create with it. And thank you again for a great Max Fun Drive.
Starting point is 01:22:01 Nate Max Fun Drive. Oh, hey, you know, in addition to talking about movies and stuff, sometimes who do ads and this is one of them. You know, our show today is sponsored by MicroDose Gummies. I don't know, Dan is often the pitchman for this because Dan is a user, as am I. It is a product that we both endorse, not a user in like the. I just didn't know why you had to specify that. Like, if you also have the microdose gummies, why do you have to go back to IK? I'm trying to say that we were both big fans. So microdose gummies provide a perfect entry level dose of THC that helps you feel the right
Starting point is 01:22:40 amount of good. I'm a fan. It helps me wind down at the end of the day. It helps me sleep. It helps me feel more creative at times. They're great. I'm a big fan. Microdose gummies are available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Go to microdose.com and use the code flop
Starting point is 01:23:00 to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in our show description, but again, that's micredose.com code flop. You know, if you noticed everyone seems to have a webpage these days, if you do this, you see this? Even me, I've got one. You know how I made it? I made it with Squarespace, the all-in-one platform
Starting point is 01:23:22 for building your brand and growing your business online. Standout with the beautiful. I was thinking Dan does to open Mike Knight's at Santa Flops and does the same ad. Yeah, it's conceptual. This is a joke, right? It's sort of an anti-coffman sort of, standout with a beautiful website engaged with your audience
Starting point is 01:23:39 and sell anything, your products, content you create, even your time. Now, you're selling your time in that, like, a time that you're devoting to a task. One cannot transfer time to another person as in the movie in time, that is science fiction, where we deal here in life and science fact. I'm so glad you're clarifying this. Yeah. So, you can display posts from your social profiles on your website and push website content to your social media channels. Easy way to make sure your followers see it too.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Squarespace has powerful blogging tools. You can use to share stories, photos, videos, updates. And every Squarespace website and online store comes with a suite, a whole suite. Imagine a suite filled of these integrated SEO features and useful guides to help maximize prominence among search results that search engine optimization. Optimization. Yeah. Not search engine Optimus Prime.
Starting point is 01:24:41 No, that would be SEOP. See ya. To squarespace.com slash flop for free trial Optimus Prime. No, that would be S E O P C I P. To squarespace.com slash flop for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We've got a jumbo tron for today. It's a regular tron. But jumbo, thank you. Not a dumbo tron, which of course be a jumbo tron, just for people who live in the Dumbo neighborhood of Brooklyn, moreon. Tron. But jumbo. Thank you. Not a dumbotron, which of course be a jumbo tron, just for people who live in the dumbot neighborhood of Brooklyn, more narrowcasting.
Starting point is 01:25:08 This is a jumbo tron. Those nationwide and worldwide, and it's from, is this place trash? Is this place trash as a podcast where Eric and Alexander Dahl read reviews and share stories while determining if a place is trash, or if the reviewers are just pretentious? It's the perfect podcast for anyone who loves business reviews and wants a good laugh. So tune in and enjoy the show and who knows. You might even learn something about the world of business. Just remember, one person's trash is another person's treasure, or in this case,
Starting point is 01:25:34 one reviewers' trash is another's entertainment. Listen and subscribe to Is This Place Trash Today. Learn more at www.IsThisPlaceTrash.com. Listen on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. And so we move on from this to letters, from listeners like you. Nevermind. You're going to tell a story by your husband. No, nevermind.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Okay. Let's see. Letters. Think of like this. Dear peaches, while I was catching up on your back catalog, I was thrilled to hear that the great awakening preacher, Jonathan Edwards got a moment of the sun in episode three, four, seven,
Starting point is 01:26:18 me, you madness with Halley Hagland. Edwards was the subject of my master's thesis. Halley Hagland, wait a minute. Is that the same Halley Hagland we Edwards was the subject of my master's thesis. Wait a minute. Is that the same? Howie Hagland we have today? Yeah. Well, it's almost like we're crossing over into this episode. Yes, part of what? Jonathan Edwards.
Starting point is 01:26:33 Yeah. Me, Madness, with Howie Hagland. Edwards was the subject of my master's thesis that I recently completed. And I feel a certain- I really thought the same Jonathan. I feel a certain... I really think the same Jonathan. I feel a certain familiarity with the figure. So when Elliot proclaimed that one of the most influential figures of the 18th century was also a psychic and paid $400 for haircuts, I was filled with astonishment and dread that this new revelation of historical fact has left my own research irrelevant, outdated, and simply incorrect. Here I pause the letter to the things to it
Starting point is 01:27:05 for closing the door so loudly that it's almost certainly picked up by the microphones. Thus undermining. We're going to have to scrap it. We're going to have to scrap it off. Secret trip to the bathroom. You know what? Burden has a new apartment, we all have new identities now, forget it. Psychic or not, I've always thought that Jonathan Edwards would make a great subject
Starting point is 01:27:27 for a blockbuster biopic, perhaps starring Mark Reilens or Jonathan Price. My question for you is what is your figure? Also, be a Jonathan Price. I'm just kidding. I love him. He's one of the producers. What historical figure or event that hasn't graced this over screen, do you think would make a great movie?
Starting point is 01:27:46 Bonus points, if you cast the leads, I'll give you a chance to think while by reading the post script, PS as a Kansas native, I would be remiss not to share my thoughts on Topeka Kansas. My main association with our great capital is the sickeningly greasy stench of the potato chip factory
Starting point is 01:28:05 that I have to drive past on my way to work in Lawrence, the real gym of North East Kansas. I also noticed during my morning commute that traffic only flows into Topeka, but never out of it, proving that no one who can help it would ever live in Topeka. Or maybe there's a more sinister, once you enter, you can never leave thing going on there. Keep on flopping in the free world, Alec last name without now. I would suggest that if it's during your morning commute, it's probably just that people from the subject, suburbs are going into Topeka. And it's not that people in Topeka don't tend to leave on mass to go to their jobs outside of the city. But I'm glad to hear more thoughts on Topeka Kansas because we've kind of
Starting point is 01:28:50 lot, we dropped the ball a lot. And I want to apologize to listeners. A long time as you know, this was a movie podcast, then it became a movie podcast where people could also share their thoughts about Topeka Kansas. And we've really dropped the ball and got our eye off that ball. No, when we dropped it or I was not it. And I'm glad that to bring it back. Of course, Lawrence Kansas, we all know, is amazing. I've only ever heard good things about Lawrence Kansas, but Topeca, still controversial. So if you have thoughts about Topeca, please write into the flop house and share it with
Starting point is 01:29:17 us. I'd love to do a whole Topeca episode someday, a mini, probably. Who knows, unless there's a movie about Topeca, Kansas, write in and tell me, because I don't know. Speaking of movies, let's talk about movies based on historical figures, because I've gotten answer unless you guys would like to go first. Why you go first?
Starting point is 01:29:31 You should go first, buddy. Now, a figure that I, they had, there is a movie made about him that I haven't seen, but I would like to see an American movie made about it, is to Saunplow a Tour, of course, one of the leaders of the Haitian rebellion, one of the few successful slave rebellions, the rebellion that turned Haiti from a colony of France into a democratic country
Starting point is 01:29:51 in its own right. They've had their ups and downs since then. But the Black Napoleon, as he was sometimes called, I think his story would be a fascinating one. Who would I cast at him? Well, he's already played a revolutionary. How about Daniel Kaluya, huh? Well, he'll be great. He'll be fantastic. Or if it's the older to Saltle River Tur, Sterling Cape Brown, I think would also do a fantastic job. They're both great actors.
Starting point is 01:30:12 Now, that being said, the movie I've always wanted to make. I think I've talked about it before to script that I have been working on for a long time is a movie about Chester A. Arthur, a president whose story I think is really interesting, even though nobody remembers who he is except for his mutton chops. Who would I cast as him? Matt Berry, probably.
Starting point is 01:30:28 Anyway, what do you guys say? I'm going to go with something that has been, I find, adapted for a few television things, but has not had a movie made about it. Growing pains? Yes. It's a tale of, I guess, a family, I don't know, and that's all there is about it. I don't know if there's any premise to growing pains other than it's a family. No, so I read the book Arthur and George by Julian Barnes, which is a fictionalized
Starting point is 01:31:11 version of a real-life thing about a star Arthur Conan Doyle helped clear the name of a half-Indian lawyer who had been accused by you know people in the the the neighborhood to mutilating animals and they were like set on convicting him for obvious racist reasons for the most part. And Conan Doyle, you know, did some of his own investigation taking on the mantle of a detective himself briefly to help clear the name of this man and it also led to the establishment of the Court of Appeals to you know prevent further miscarriages of justice and I just think that that would be it seems like the sort of story that would be catnip To a movie maker to have yeah Arthur Conan
Starting point is 01:31:58 Daler of Sherlock Holmes doing some solvent crimes Does it bother you that they haven't made a movie about that? But I think they did make a movie about when he was fooled into thinking fairies were real? A little bit. I mean, but you know, he shouldn't have thought fairies were real. Like, that's dumb of him. We can drag Conan Doyle over that.
Starting point is 01:32:20 Conan Doyle is such a funny character. That goes in the jeers section of his Wikipedia page. Yeah. We really need to start putting those on more wiggity-be-a-pig yet. Oh, Hitler's section is a lot big jeers. Oh, no, no, no. The, that Arthur Conan Doyle, as many people said before me, created the character
Starting point is 01:32:37 who is all about rational deduction. And he was ready to believe whatever nonsense came his way. Yeah. He was friends with Houdini and how he's like Houdini. I know you have real magic powers. Houdini's like, no, how he's like Houdini. I know you have real magic powers. Houdini is like, no, I don't. And he's like, I know you have to pretend you don't, but trust me, your secret is safe
Starting point is 01:32:50 with me. Arthur Conan Doyle. He's an interesting character. Uh, yeah. Back in a couple of months back, I did a trip to San Francisco and while I was there, I did a tour of Alcatraz, just now a, what, like it's a federal park state. Yeah, it's a national national national national park.
Starting point is 01:33:12 Thank you. And one of the things that one of the things I learned is that after the prison was shut down of being a prison, it was occupied by a group of Native American revolutionaries. Yeah, part of the American Indian movement, right? Yeah, and it led to a bunch of changes and they were eventually forcefully ejected, but it was the longest occupation of U.S. land. What in history or something by, and it's, yeah, it was really fascinating. It was like, I was like over a year and a half long, right?
Starting point is 01:33:43 Yeah, it was really fascinating. It was like I was like over a year and a half long, right? Yeah, it was a long time and after you know after they they were ejected and Everything was cleaned up. They ended up bringing people back into Kind of redo all the graffiti that would like recreate the graffiti that was left by the the occupiers And now it yeah, it, I think it's really fascinating and not something I knew before going there. How you don't have to have something if you don't, but if you do, this is your chance. All right, this isn't a very good idea, but I want to provide.
Starting point is 01:34:20 Well, I was just thinking about it. Well, I actually know the true story of, but okay, so, you know, there are all these movies, these IP movies about like the inventor of the mop and like the inventor of Tetris and all this stuff. There was that IP movie about IP freely, the author of the book, The Yellow River. Yeah, exactly. Shit. But I think without knowing the actual origin story, I would love to know the origin story
Starting point is 01:34:51 of the American Girls Collection and how it evolved from this sort of like educational resource that they were trying to teach girls about history to like, I don't know, just like design a doll that looks like you and take it out to this door. Yeah, it's kind of like a build a bear now, right? Yeah, exactly. I think that there could be some real sinister plot twists in that, having not knowing the real story at all. That's right.
Starting point is 01:35:24 That's a good idea. I remember every time I hear about the American Girl Dolls, which is frequent in the circles I travel in. I think about, there's a book I read once there was. Yeah, you hear people saying, Elliot, why do you have so many American Girl Dolls? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, please put that American Girl Doll down.
Starting point is 01:35:39 Stop what you're doing. Why are you doing this American Girl Doll? Yeah, Tom Petty came in. He's like, I thought I liked American girls, but this guy, he's a ghost at this point, right? Yeah, the ghost of Tom Petty was roasting you. Yeah, that was a ghost roast. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:56 It's what only ghost do. The most. Yeah, worst kind. There's a book I read years ago about Russian writers writing about their experiences in America and one of them, he was saying how he saw a sign in Times Square that said American Girl Show. This was in the 90s and he was like, yeah, this is going to be hot. It's Times Square American Girl Show and he and his friend went to it and it was only as
Starting point is 01:36:17 the lights were going down that they realized the audience was entirely moms and little girls. And then they watched as it was like a pageant of like care people playing different American girl characters, but they had gone in expecting it to be like a strip club, you know. I feel like they should have noticed that earlier. The way they were just surrounded by little girls. Yeah, it's like, it's like in a horror movie when you realize you're the only people in the tavern that aren't wear wolves. Or like when I went, I didn't see the circus. people in the tavern that aren't werewolves. Or like that, I went, I didn't see the circus. I look around as a single man. I'm like, you're the only single man, but you did buy. What
Starting point is 01:36:50 were the souvenirs? We said, you bought there like there's long like fiber optic strands that like, like, like, low and stuff. I just want to just want to see the full experience. I get it. Yeah. I mean, the circus doesn't exist anymore. You had to see it. You wouldn't get another chance. This is from Jeff, this letter Jeff. Who writes hay flop dog. Jeff. That's right. That's right. Jeff hay flop dogs in the spring of 1995. Some friends and I were driving from Portland, Oregon to Eugene, Oregon for a punk show. So those things existed that time. So I know I think it was for the first man is the bastard show out of California. And we passed a movie, Triplex, on the side of the highway that was playing Tommy Boy, bad boys, and Rob Roy.
Starting point is 01:37:38 This rhyming triplets stuck in my head and frankly, it sounds like a pretty good triple feature. So dudes, what's your rhyming triple feature? Thanks for all the great listing fun. I love that this is not the question that Dan sent us ahead of time. Well, I thought it would be more fun to surprise you with this. Sometimes I make a calculated, I'm going to. Tim Roth is such a fun bad guy in Rob Roy. Oh boy. And that's a perfect example of a movie when the villain kills a dog
Starting point is 01:38:05 and you're like, you guys got to go. I'll give you a little time by choosing a movie that's in theaters and building upon that. My triple feature will be of air, hair and cocaine bear. Yeah. Good combination. I mean, that's kind of just a, I don't know, a rhyme, but I guess the, I mean, the rhyme to me boy, that boys, yeah. Yeah. So, look, we can go by Madonna Vogue rules where she says, come on, come on. Let's get to it. Strike a pose. There's nothing to it. Sure. Yeah. Mine is going to be kind of a slant rhyme. It's, I'm going to, it's mean streets, heart beeps. And then a movie that does exist, and that you have poll
Starting point is 01:38:54 straighters, heart beeps, and then a movie that doesn't exist, mean strepes, which is about moral street, just being mean, just being a real, I guess, like, which I guess is the devil's product, but instead we would call it mean strip. Mean strip. I mean, it's pretty good idea for like a, you know, being John Malkovich style, like, we're just going to take someone. Yeah. And like build a thing.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Sorry, Stuart, were you going to? Yeah, I was going to do a bad one for everybody. So I'm going to do first man, thirst and mint. I like it. What about this one? Okay. Toy soldiers. Toy story.
Starting point is 01:39:38 A marriage story. Now, the rhyming aspect just doesn't exist, which is fine. That's more of a, almost a little, almost a little, almost a little, almost a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, aspect just doesn't exist, which is fine. Yeah, that's more of a, almost a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little,
Starting point is 01:39:56 a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, Okay, we did that thing. Let's move on to the last thing, which is where we recommend movies that we have seen, usually recently, that we enjoyed, maybe could be, something you could watch instead of dialing up Reese Woolf witherspoon and Eston Kutcher on your Netflix box. I'm going to recommend a movie.
Starting point is 01:40:21 Elliott makes fun of me claiming that I have nothing but time to go see movies in the theater. So I decided to prove him right by going out and seeing a five-hour montage yesterday. This is a cool recommendation. It's just anybody can go watch this. Yeah, well, you can find this. If you look, poke around the internet. If you really give a shit, you can find it. You poke around the internet. You can, this wall makes sense in a second. I saw the movie orgy, which is a movie that is not commercially available, doesn't do like regular screenings. The screen I went to was $0.
Starting point is 01:41:00 You just had to write into reserve your seat or whatever. Because it is a, you had to write a letter and so has a delivered at midnight. And then a key would be given to you. Yeah. It's made up of parts of a bunch of other movies. Like it has a tag of the 50 foot woman, amazing, colossal man. And who made this?
Starting point is 01:41:21 This is Joe Dante. This was early on. Small soldiers, Joe Dante. Yeah, he used to do this kind of as like an ever evolving road show where he would just like show it in person because again, this is all copyrighted material. And he would change it up. Apparently at one point, there was like a seven hour version of this. And I got to say, I really loved seeing the movie
Starting point is 01:41:45 orgy, but it was pushing you five hours. Like it was still kind of like, I remember once hearing and reading interview with him where he was like the whole point that he's like, you're not supposed to sit through the whole thing. He goes, you're supposed to watch a little bit, go out and do something, come back and watch some more, go get something to eat. So, but I don't know how you, but it's, we're not programmed to keep leaving and coming back to movies. Like, just sit down and movie and watch it. Yeah, and I don't know how you, but it's, we're not programmed to keep leaving and coming back to movies. I just had a movie you watch it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:07 And I know that Joe Dante. I definitely would have because there came a point where I was very hungry and thirsty, but I was also like, I'm done. Where am I ever going to see this? Where do you see it? What's the? It was at anthology film archives and, you know, I went to, which is specializes in that kind of thing. Yeah, he said the whole crowd looked just like you.
Starting point is 01:42:28 Like it's a damn flash. She's up for this stand. 95% of the audience was also sort of middle aged bearded movie nerds. But it's a really like for Joe Dante's vintage four five hour super cut of old movies and commercials and things. All right. Yeah. Like if you're still having kind of a hard time picturing what it is, like a lot of the edits are done for for comic effects. There'd be like a lot of things where they would show the whole opening credits
Starting point is 01:42:58 to a movie and then have one little bit of it and kind of abruptly to have the end. Every time it got me, it was funny every time. There were these old buffering commercials, one of which I was really haunting. It's the short story of a pain reliever commercial where it's this dad shooting a rifle and showing his kid how good he is. She's this rifle and the kid doesn't want to do it. And like what does it want to be like masculine rifle guy like his dad and and there's like a gunshot as the dad angrily continues his target practice in the mom clutches her head in pain. And then she's, you see her inside
Starting point is 01:43:45 with all the dad is shooting outside as she puts buffer in her hand. And it says, is that something like sensitive people, people who are sensitive to others are often sensitive to headaches or something like that. And it's this like haunting vision of this family in 30 seconds, all to be like, Hey, man, is life giving you pain?
Starting point is 01:44:08 Try boyfriend. Yeah. So it's a lot of like stuff like that cut together. Again, you can find it on the internet if you want to, like, it'll be no less illegal than the way that Joe Dante shows it as a traveling roadshow. So go ahead and track it down. If it's has interesting and don't sit all five hours, partial out to yourself, but it's a lot roadshow. So go ahead and track it down if it's as interesting and don't sit
Starting point is 01:44:25 all five hours partial out to yourself, but it's a lot of fun. Anyone else? That sounds great. I'm going to recommend movie that's streaming, I think, on Peacock. Peacock, anybody. Yeah, I'm familiar with it. We'll find out. I'm going to recommend a animated movie. I'm recommending Pussin Boots, The Last Wish. That's right. It's a movie about Pussin boots the last wish. That's right. It's a movie about Pussin boots. I have not seen the previous Pussin boots. I think it's a Shrek spin off.
Starting point is 01:44:50 This one is fucking great. Not only do you have some, now normally I'm a little skeptical of like top drawer voice talent. And this one's got a lot of it. It's got Antonio Banderis. It's got Salma Heik. The 13th Warrior himself. It's got Florence Pue. It's got Ray Winstone, ladies. Uh, uh, Ray Winstone. Uh, it's got, let's be a Colvin. It's great. John Malaney, everybody. Um, and,
Starting point is 01:45:21 uh, yeah, like the actions great and the like, I don't know, the, the despite being a movie that has a lot of action and some really great set pieces, it still manages to like the focus of the movie is not on like beating people up, but rather like coming to terms with your own like mortality and limitation and figuring out what's important in your life. And I found to be really touching and visually very stimulating. Elliot. I think so Dan recommended a kind of like student art collage of vintage movies and Stuart recommended an adventure about a cat who is facing us in mortality. And I think my movie is kind of in the middle of that Vin diagram, which is this is a classic Russian film called The Ascent from 1977,
Starting point is 01:46:10 directed by Larissa Shipitko. And it is the story, it's a story that in World War II, these two soldiers who are with a unit that is almost more just like Russians who are trying to survive more than soldiers. They've sent out to find food from a nearby farm in the dead of winter, while the Germans are after them, and managed to have a lot of trouble finding the people they're supposed to find and get captured by the Germans, leading to a real decision of whether they are going to give information or not give information. In each one takes a different path and their lives go in very different directions. And there's a sense of a real bleakness, real horror, not the horror of like blood and guts,
Starting point is 01:46:57 but the horror of a life where there seems to be no justice and there seems to be no escape. And I found it very powerful and very moving. And one of the moments in it that really got to me was there's a Russian who is a collaborator, who is interrogating them, and is acting like he is in charge in the big cock of the walk. And then later you see him trying to get into
Starting point is 01:47:16 a huddle of German soldiers basically, and they just are ignoring him and giving him the cold shoulder, no pun intended, because it's very cold in the movie. And just this moment of seeing where that guy sits on the hierarchy was so was so powerful to me and so it's a movie that is not a fun movie I would say it does not have the it's not the generic calming presence of
Starting point is 01:47:39 your place or mine, but I found it to be really a really fantastic movie and very beautiful in its kind of the depths of the soul that it reaches down to. So that's the Ascent. Halley, what have you got for us? Are you going to recommend? This is pretty weak. You're like your place. Okay, so I wait, what did you say, Dan? It'll let us be the judge of the ass. So I was on a plane yesterday and I watched part of this movie that is the kind of movie you only watch on a plane, the kind of movie I only watch on a plane because it's like, I recognize the stars, but they clearly didn't want me to see this because this movie has nubbin' out there. So it's called like Alice Darling or Darling Alice,
Starting point is 01:48:31 starring Anna Kendrick, who I'm not usually a big fan of, but this was a thriller about a moat. She's very small, but they weave it into the plot in this one. She could be anywhere. That's what's scary. Yeah, it's just in your pockets behind your ear. Well, this is a soaring tail, not soaring.
Starting point is 01:48:54 Searing, sad, snoring. It's something about emotional abuse. The problem was, my earbuds, not great. I had no idea what was going on. And this is even taken to the movie. We landed, but I we've taken Dan's habit of recommending movies that he watched them play and they didn't like that much. And you have raised him quite a bit.
Starting point is 01:49:18 This is the challenge. Well, this is what I'll tell you. I went to my hotel that night and I tried to find it. I could not find it, but the fact that I tried to find it made me feel like it's going to be wanted to know what was going on because I couldn't hear anything. It's got a 65 on a metacritic, so that's not bad. Okay, well, let me know. 90 minutes, that's a hand.
Starting point is 01:49:42 90 minutes. Exactly. I thought I could make it. I thought I could make it through it by the end of the flight. I Been there. I've been there, girl. That's when you're finishing watching when you're trying to finish a movie and then the the pilot comes on and he's like, okay, we're beginning our descent and you're like, stop. Let me watch it. Stuffed and he's like, What else do I want to tell you? I'm not gonna change my life to know this.
Starting point is 01:50:08 Just let me be. Yeah, when the plane lands and everyone's clapping, Dan's like, I'm not clapping. I mean, that only happens like one out of every 20 flights, right? Like I don't know. I'm not going to fly to the Caribbean. Yeah, it depends. In the Caribbean, they clap a lot when that when
Starting point is 01:50:26 the one. It only happens when they actually do a bad landing because they like create a shit like will they are one day. All right. Well, this has been a delight. And I'm so glad that it meant that Halley, who is just in town for business for a day. Like, I could see her in person. We could see her in person. That was so nice. Yes, for me too. So this is a podcast that's on the Maximum Fun Network.
Starting point is 01:50:54 You can find more fine podcasts by going over to MaximumFun.org, checking out what they've got over there. A lot of funny shows, a lot of shows that'll teach you something were in that earlier category. We don't really do much for like world knowledge. We must have taught someone something in this episode, right? You didn't know anything about candy, maybe.
Starting point is 01:51:16 Or, um. Yeah, now you know there's an old lady who ate half her butt and candy. This is not what someone's gonna write in and say that didn't happen. And it's gonna be my ding dong gate. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's tough, like I'm telling you, a hot game. If you could please enter by the butt gate, please. And we would like to thank Alex Smith, our producer and editor for making us sound good.
Starting point is 01:51:42 You can find him on various socials under the name Howell Dottie. But for now, that's it for this episode. For the Flappas, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kalen. And I'm Halle Hagland. Oh, bye, you. Bye.
Starting point is 01:51:59 Bye. Bye. I tried to join in, and I couldn't do it. Stop. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Starting point is 01:52:09 Uh, is that drink okay, Holly? That's great. What's in it? Velvet faleranum and rum and some lime juice. Mmm. Velvet faleranum. It's real. But I'm allergic to velvet faleranum.
Starting point is 01:52:22 It's real taste of the tropics. Uh, it's, you know, it's a common, it's used in a taste of the tropics. It's a common, it's used in a lot of Tiki drinks. Okay, I guess you're right. Yeah, Dan, you're right. Don't question yourself, dude. On, you ready? Maximumfund.org.
Starting point is 01:52:39 Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned, audience supported. and culture. Artists-owned, audience supported.

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