The Flop House - Episode #395 - The Pope's Exorcist

Episode Date: May 6, 2023

You wanna movie about Russell Crowe, he drive around on a Vespa, maybe getta rid of some demons? Ho boy, The Pope's Exorcist gonna make something real nice for you! That's right, we all took field trips for a rare Flop House in the aisles (although who knows if The Pope's Exorcist will still be playing in any theaters by the time this comes out)!Wikipedia page for The Pope's ExorcistMovies recommended in this episode:The Pope's ExorcistThe Witch: Part 1 - The SubversionThe Witch: Part 2 - The Other OneThe Appointments of Dennis Jennings

On this episode we discuss, the Pope's Exorcist! It's kind of like if you were to cross Evil Dead with Colombo. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. It's Elliot, Dylan. Sorry, I can get a cycle down a site flood of tears. Yeah, couple of sorry, I can get a cycle down a set flood of tears. Yeah, I can pull a crusty in here. You shouldn't do that on mic, but that's okay. Hey, guys, good to see you again.

This is a podcast if you can't see it. No, cool. Where we walk that we can't see you. If it's a list, you're talking to me, we actually can't see them. So don't worry. Except for you, Gary, I a list, you're talking to, we actually can't see them. So don't worry. Except for you, Gary, I'm looking at you right now. So where's Gary's so freaked out right now. Yeah, you really gave him the business. So what do we do on this podcast? So then spy on Gary. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie. And then we talk about it or a movie

that maybe look, no judgments until the end. You could be who knows if it's a thumbs up for me dog. Yeah. No, me, but we've heard things. Why would you rub it into that dog's face too that you have thumbs and he does it? Yeah, well, he knows what he did. We heard some things usually about the movies that we chose that might, that suggests that maybe a humorous dissection of these films would be enjoyable for you. The audience.

The aggressive Twitter campaign that Russell Crowe personally was doing a posting pictures of his character, Father Gabriel, on Morth writing a fucking vest. I don't know if it was Russell Crowe himself, but certainly all of the people who sent us that trailer to the film, the Pope's exorcist saying, you guys are doing this right? There was a lot of excitement about the exorcist, yeah. We got off our fucking asses and we went, we took our lazy butts to the theater and then got on them again.

It was really fun because Dan and I were like, Dan and I are like, okay, we got to go see this fucking movie. Our usual places to go is like the Alamo draft. Because usually we don't go see movies in the theater. That's the, but like for personal use, we usually go to the Alamo draft house. Because we like to get fucked up in the movie. This movie is only for public use. Please be careful.

We clean with it. Wipe it down when you're done. Well, like normally we like to get a little bit twisted on a couple of cocktails, you know, you know, little bad boys. So we, so I was looking and the only draft house it was playing in New York was Staten Island. So hell yeah, we got to see a turkey on the road. We did see a big fat turkey on the road. I was driving. As I mentioned on a previous mini, I was super bummed that the menu wasn't all gobbagool and spaghetti, but that's fine. I can live also because of the subject matter of the movie, you know, sure. Yeah. I want to tell you the movie. So we still think about that. Turkey. We saw it was huge. It was a fucking big boy. Like Turkey. I fluffed itself up at the traffic

as we drove by Dan Clark and then he's like, keep on moving, buddy. See, on the East Coast, they're all, there's a turkey in the road. On the West Coast, we're all, there's a peacock in the road. Oh, wow. That's a different thing. It's in New York than I like. That's a tough time. Um, so we, so we, uh, headed over there and we fired up the movie.

And you know what? Let's get in there and fired it up. Cause again, we saw it in the theater. The projectionists. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was not a part of this statin island road trip, which is the saddest, to go from Brooklyn to statin island is not the most exciting road trip in the world. You would have loved it. You would have loved it. No, but I got to do something. I almost never get to do these days, which I was so excited to, which is go to a sleepy movie theater that has more staff than attendees at the moment and sit in the middle of the

day and watch a movie with three old people who the same three old people that I think are always when I see horror movies in the middle of the day. Yes. Yeah, I love that. That's the best feeling. That was like when I would skip school and high school. That's like my crew. You make fun of it as a road trip and right, rightly so. I'm not saying that you shouldn't.

You didn't even leave the city you were in. Psychologically, it did have an effect. Like it was like, oh, Stewart's picking me up in the car. I made a plug in the subway. I made a plug in the subway. I made a plug in the subway. I made a plug in the subway. It was, yeah.

Yeah, it was great. It was a lot of time. So the movie drove the drone, you drove right onto the ferry and then that's how it did it. Yeah. So the movie begins in a flashback. Doesn't the movie begin with a quote? Sorry, I didn't that take particularly good notes because I was in a movie theater. So the movie begins with a quote from our main character, mother Gabriel, on the board. A real person who they're quoting a real person who's played by Russell Crowley fictional movie. I was shocked to learn that at the very end. That was the biggest twist

of the movie. To be based on the books by. Yeah. I'm like, I was like this was purported to actually happen. This thing is pretty cool. He's like, wow, he's, there was a CGI portal in real life. And now, of course, I think this name's cool, because it sounds like the band Amanomarth, Viking Metal Band, but that has no impact in the movie itself. So we get a quote from him talking about like the devil being excited when we don't pay enough attention or so. But we don't believe in him. The devil gets excited because that means that wreck his

mischief unchecked. Which we're pretty aware of the devil, the whole movie. So it's pretty, it's got a lot of people talking about. There is that one moment we'll get to where the, where the youngest cardinal in the history of the church, I guess, he's like the, the, what's his name, that horrible young man in the Trump administration. Oh, yeah. We all know.

Stephen something. Yeah, it's like. The one who looked like Mr. Burns, but who had, Mr. Burns had been de-aged, but not enough. That it's like him in the Vatican is like, people are tired of demons. The church needs to be more relevant. And I thought it was, it was just such a fake, we'll get to it. It's such a fake conflict for the head extra sister, the Vatican to have to overcome.

Partly because it's the church, like it's not supposed to be like new and cool, you know, but also the Pope, so the Pope played by Franco Nero, which was great. So has the extra sister's back that it's like, are we really supposed to think he's going to lose his job because this young cardinal is like him? The other boss is like, give his fucking badge and gun. And he's like, I don't know to think so. I said only one guy. But before we get to that scene, first, Father Gabriel, he's got, he's got his James Bond first mission of the movie, pro long to deal with.

Like cold open, it's set in the 80s. He goes to a little village where there's a little boy who's possessed. Well, he's like a grown man. They keep calling him a boy, but he's like, he's like at least a teenager. He's a beard. So the first, the first line of the movie is Russell Crowe complimenting a pig by telling it, it's beautiful. And I thought that was really nice. Yeah. Well, what he does is a little bit of he doesn't think it's interesting. I mean, outside the pilot of Black Mirror, this is just about the worst thing I've seen done to a pig. True.

He's a movie. So he, so he, you know, he, he calms everybody down. He talks to the possessed guy, possessed guy, obviously a demon is doing demon stuff. And Russell Crowe does a little bit of banter. He tells some jokes. And he like, he basically tricks the demon into possessing, proving that it's powerful by possessing a pig instead of the, like leaving the boy's body and going into a pig, in which case, as soon as

the pig gets possessed, they blow its head off. Yeah. The farmer who brought the pig and just blows his pig's head off. I got a couple of questions. Well, I mean, if your question is, was that boy, kid really possessed? Well, that's the, the answer is no. Well, yes, I want to make sure I wanted to get into that. Yeah, they didn't really, they didn't call up the devil and say, like, devil, are you free on this day to possess our answer? What's your day rate? Well, no, you really should go through my reps.

You know, I haven't talked to them much lately, but they'll be excited that I'm getting some work. Wow, Kevin Spacey doing a new accident. No, I wanted to get into it because the, you know, Stewart is telling a story as if he was possessed, but the movie then has Russell Crowe being like, oh, that kid, you know, like he had do psychological problems, he just needed a little theater. theater. So he doesn't think he's possessed anymore. Now, I've got a couple of issues with this. Number one, the kid had all sorts of like, I'm possessed makeup on.

So if he wasn't really possessed, he still needs like a doctor, not just like us. Well, so he, but he hasn't eaten in days. They've said, he's been in this kind of state for days. And you see Russell Crowe do a series of tests on him. And we don't know, but we find out later we does those same tests on the really possessed character that he is ascertaining from that that there is no demon inside.

He has that magic charm that he waves in front of his eyes and that I doesn't get demonized. And the real sad part is that that pig still has to die even though there was no demon in there. Like he just, well, that's, he just, he's like, well, that's, I mean, that's another question of mine. Like, if it were real, would that kill? Maybe it was a stunt pig that had a fake head.

I don't know that they will. If that were real, would it kill the demon? Like, is the demon attached to that pig? This is an issue I've always had, I have the same issue with the extraceus too, where the demon possesses a body and then the body kills itself. The demon should just be able to hop into another body,

like it shouldn't really hurt the demon that badly, but it always seems, but when the, it's all these movies, when the spirit hops into the right body and then that body gets killed, then the demon is defeated. So real quick guys, so by calling your movie the Pope's Exorcist, is that like one upping the exorcist? Like it's a little bit better.

Yeah, is this like the next step up like the universe's exorcist? I think so. This is the Pope's guy. Well, and what I want is the sequel where he has been fired and it's called the exorcist. And he's got to figure out what his next step is. I want to talk about the title, the Pope's Exorcist, but I do want to get back to this just briefly about it. It also, the title also implies that the Pope has been possessed.

Well, thank you for stepping on the thing. I want to say it now. Why not just say it now? Well, I don't want to get too far away from like what we're talking about. Okay, so let's put a pin in that. Let's put a pin in misperceptions about the title and we'll just go back into the movie. I'm sorry that I stole that from your mind, Dan, much as in the last episode. An idea was stolen from the mind of Stephen King.

No, no, I just, with the kid, the, I feel like this stuff about like, oh, you know, like the, the, the kid only had a mental issue. We need to, most of the time, I don't actually need to exercise things. This is stuff that the filmmakers put again to be like, this is a modern, like this, the Pope's exorcist, even though he's an exorcist, let's be clear. He is a modern, reasonable man who recognizes that for the most part, exorcism is not a thing that needs to happen. Well, I don't know.

I feel like- But except for this one tiny bit, hold on, let me say my thing before you jump in. You don't know what I'm- you're just like in real life, this guy, he's like the quote, quote, real life of this exorcist. He wrote these books about, yeah, yeah, man, I exercise like hundreds of thousands of demons. And so I feel like the fact that this exists in the movie is here to be like, hey, man, we all want to sympathize with like a guy who knows that this is nutty, right?

Okay. So what I was going to say, I think I'm not quite sure I agree with that. I think what is in there for is more, to me at least what it was saying was this guy is a professional. Like, he knows what he's doing. He can tell the difference between a real demon and a fake demon. He has that secret knowledge that a professional needs to have. And maybe there is a little bit of, I mean, he's also constantly drinking.

And I don't know if the real exorcist was like taking shots of whiskey from a flask. Well, not even shots. He just pours it down as if he's drinking. Like, I don't know if that was, if he was really doing that. And in those moments where I was like, he's been drinking like he's shooting a fucking commercial for. Yeah. He's like turning into James Woods from vampires where they're like the hard living,

you know, vampire killers from the Vatican. But the, I think it, I think it was partly there because it's them showing us that he knows what he's doing and he's not going to get fooled. He's a pro. He knows the tricks. You know? Yeah, no, I, I know, but I, I guess I chafed against like the fact that this is purported to be obviously it's not based on reality. Like, what do you think? What do you think? I think we're fine.

No, I know. It's like whatever they did, whatever the original books are like, I'm sure that this is like a measure of madness even further beyond it. But the fact that this movie tries to be like, no, no, guys, this is a reasonable extra system as a pro. Like, I guess I chafe on that just like, and they're like, like, look, let me, don't try and horn swung on me. Like, I don't believe in demons, but I'm watching a horror movie.

So I'm going to go with you. He's stuck. You would rather he was like a straight out and out like fire and brimstone kind of, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I would rather that. I really like the way that this character is persona-like. Because I feel like I'm talking about it. Because then you start getting into the more worrying issue to me as if it's like your

son, you think he's possessed? Yes, he's possessed by a devil. Does he have sex with other men? Because that's one of the big symptoms. And that's not a character I want to sympathize with at all. Like I do want him to be a little modern where he's like, well, of course I believe in primordial forces of good and evil, but like, come on, let's all agree. There's so many stuff, it's a little fair.

I guess it is just sort of a general dislike of this idea of like, I don't know. Like I'm letting too much of the real world hold into my thing. I'm gonna say, I thought this opening scene was pretty fun. I liked it. Yeah. To me, this was like, it's like the library is seen in the Ghostbusters where you get a sense of like, you get a sense of how good this person is at their job. And Ghostbusters, you're learning that they're terrible at it.

They're, they're, they're, they're, they're to find a ghost and when they do find it, they run away screaming. But in here, you get a sense that like, oh, he knows what he's doing. Like, he, he can handle this, this extras can handle any situation or can he? Because the movie is about to throw a challenge in his face. I mean, I look in the context of a movie I liked it. I'm just like, let's not pretend they're good exorcists and bad exorcists. They're all like, it's dumb stuff.

But what about sex or cis, Dan? How do you feel about them? Are they good or bad? That's a white zombie album. I can't remember. So, yeah, so flash forward a little bit. It's still the 80s. We're in Spain, queue up, she sells sanctuary by the cult. It's like, hell yeah, this is a fucking rock and movie. We're introduced to a family who are moving into a Spanish abbey that they've inherited from their

recently deceased father. It is the mother, her daughter, like teenage daughter and her young son, who already looks kind of creepy. Like he is, this kid is the number one special effect in this movie. I don't want to make fun of this kid. It's liquid. And he also, and he has refused to talk since witnessing the death of their father, but they basically, the movie makers are giving us. I'm not making fun of him. it's like fucking Doug Jones, dude. Like he's amazing.

This kid's got a big career ahead of him. You know what's awesome? The kid is really good, but it is your standard Spielberg's assortment of single mom, older kid, younger kid. And the younger kid gets involved in some quite a fantastical thing. It's, that's your basic family, yeah.

Yep, yep. Spielberg, I believe, took it from the diary of Dr. O'Fother Gabriel Morse actually. Yeah, just originally, originally, he was called, E.T. was, was exorcist torestrial. And over time, they took all the exorcism stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a shame. Skittles, demons love them. Or no Reese's, Reese's, no, Stuart, wow. I got that joke, I fucked it Wow. I fucked up that joke. I fucked it up. And you're right, demons do love Skittles, because they want to taste the rainbow.

What's the thing? Like aliens love Reese's Pieces. Demons love Skittles. Yeah. Oh, thank you guys. You're making me feel so much better. I feel like such an ass. I mean, I know that Elliott believes that,

because they're all fruit flavored. And to him, fruit is the demons. Fruit is evil. I mean, what was it that? What was the original sin that cast out of the bathroom? Garden of Eden. It was. It was eating me. It was eating chocolate. It was eating. And it was eating skittles. God said, that tree is the rainbow. And that was not taste the rainbow. And the serpent came up and was like, Eve, you want to taste that rainbow? You know, you do. They feel wild ass skittles come right up.

You know what? I think it would work. This is a skittles commercial. God says it's almost all told without dialogue. God points at the tree to Adam and Eve and finger over the, wagging his finger. No, no, don't do that. And then they look at it and the snake nods his head.

And then they eat it. And the next shot is them walking it, being cast out with handfuls of skittles No, no, don't do that. And then they look at it and the snake nods his head. And then they eat it. And the next shot is them walking it, being cast out with handfuls of skittles and Adam just turns to Eve with his mouthful skills, those worth it. And then it's a skittles, taste the rainbow, done. Okay, okay. Okay, that's it. T.M.

We did it. That's a better version. I was envisioning sort of like a very 90s version of the commercial where it's all sort of like cut out brightly colored like animation like it looks like a trapper keeper. There's like a no no no where like God is like the parents telling the yeah like there's like a cool snake with like glasses. And then they taste the rainbow and then there's like like a guitar riff.

Yeah, try a guitar riff. Yeah, try it was everywhere. Yeah, that's cool. And like Adam and Eve are like totally naked. Like you see a dog just flapping on the ass. Oh, yeah. Full soul. Riddle like in 90s commercials.

Yeah, just like in the 90s when all those commercials were candy and full-frettle needed. It's going to push the envelope a little bit, but I feel like that would play in Europe. Yeah. You all remember the famous campaign, give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that kick-out bar on your dick. It's a wild one. And the guy would take it and he would slap it against his erect penis and it would snap

into pieces. Yeah. Wow. That man blayed. So, yeah, so the family has just inherited this like crumbling abbey that is like moss and ivy choked a perfect location for a Ravenloft D adventure. There are tradesmen that are trying to fix it up, but they keep having problems. Tradesmen, the contractors.

I love calling them tradesmen though. There's a blacksmith, there's a Cooper. There's a flenshure. Yeah, they're all right. So they, they're, they're fixing up, but they're having some issues. The son is not spoken since his father's untimely passing. And her teenage, the teenage daughter, it's kind of a rebel. She smokes cigarettes and wears revealing clothing. a teenage daughter. It's kind of a rebel. She smokes cigarettes and wears revealing clothing. Meanwhile, and this is around when she, the teenage daughter puts on her headset on her walkman and is listening to, we care a lot by Faith No More, which cuts to

Father Gabriel Morth riding his vest for around the streets of Rome. It's amazing. Let me say this. Russell Crowe is loving being in this movie. I feel like he is enjoying every frame that he is on screen. Yeah. He's gobbling it. He's gobbling every ounce of the screen. And part of the thing that makes this movie a lot of fun, honestly, to me at least, like, it feels like the most sort of, it feels like very early 2000s, like horror movie, complete with like later on,

there's like a CGI like puddle of fire and stuff that like, but in the middle of it, you have Russell Crowe, like giving this genuinely kind of great performance, whereas like he is in viewing it both with like a certain gravitas and realism and he is slicing ham all over the scene. I say this not just because he has a beard and is clearly overweight in the movie, but there's a, I felt like there's a real like worsen wells.

Yes, I said that later on and told me during the week. Well, like there's that scene where he's on his Vespa and he has like his long black like robes on and he has like sunglasses and a black hat and he looks for all the world like horse and well is writing a Vespa right now. Yeah, all these are the big cigar in his mouth and like, it's just a movie. I've been called Orson Welles, Colin, the Pope's Exorcist. I'd have been into it too. You wouldn't have had to change a single thing about it because I would be the first and well's going around doing this made up weird Italian accent.

Or if it was the Pope's exorcist and then in ellipses, Orson Well. They don't do that movie titles that often these days, but I feel like you would work in this case. Oh, yeah. So he is going up in front of a, like a, like a tribunal, a jury. Yeah. A council. Yeah.

I think tribunal is a good way to put it. It's a group of cardinals, one of whom is a friend of his that he's clearly on his side, but they're all, they're all, Humphing and Harumphing about the very existence of the Pope's exorcist opposition, which is what they want is a gun basically. But it's not really for anything he's done. It's just for the idea of it. Well, they do bring up that there was there was one exercise that went bad and they and the you know, and also he does write articles about it, which I've got to assume that's some kind of

conflict of interest that he like and books. He does this work for the Vatican. It's right tell all the books. You read the books. The books are good. And, but it's all run by this, by this, by this real, weasley, you know, young cardinal who American cardinal, American cardinal. And he's just, and pardon me, it's like, how did he get the seniority to be on this council? But then again, like I said, in the Trump administration, it was all these young evil people who like had no business being in a government position. But. Well, but that's also like the not so subtext of it is just like this is the new young book,

you know, and like you like bringing in like new reforms to the church and like. He's not a cool young like the Jude law young pope. Yeah. Russell pro and the pope. Fox. No, that like evil exists and like you need him on that wall. Like, like, the thing is like thing is like, I mean, we've alluded to it before. Like Stuart said, this is like a badging gun. But like this, like

the movie is the exorcist plus a buddy cop movie. Yeah, very much so. Yes. It also grows essentially the grizzled old veteran cop who plays by his own rules. Play his own rules and it's going to show the young cop. I mean, the young cop is not necessarily a straight arrow so much as he's kind of like naive and the young priest. But, but yeah, he is, this is one of those movies where a new person is coming in and saying the old ways of doing things are bad and he goes, I'm going to show you why they're not,

why you need, you need me on that soul. You need that, you need me on that soul, keeping shooting people and stuff like that. So things are looking a little bit grim for Father Amorth. But then while praying, he gets, he gets some time to spend with his boss. That's right. The Pope played by Frank O'Neary. He played by Ringo himself, Frank O'Neary. Uh, who's like, it's, this, the Pope is so funny in this.

Yes. It is the whole time that every scene with him. And at first, I was, at first, I didn't, I was like, I know who this is. And it took me a while to recognize that it was Frank on Nero, because I, I wasn't getting good looks at those blazing blue eyes. But the, but like he is a hilarious Pope of this. It is not, the entire time I was like, I do not believe this guy is the Pope at all. And he spends his whole day in

the in a church at the at the uh just sit either sitting in a pew or kneeling and I'm like so the pope just works out of a church and I expected him I expected him at any moment be like father a moather you need this a special crossbow that shoots lace. If this Pope had shown up at the Exorcism site and then pulled two guns out of his robes and started firing, I would not have been surprised. He does come very close to being like Rosalko's Q character because like, they keep cutting back to him like, looking through the old books. He gets out back. And when things go bad for him, even though they are separated by multiple countries, he's like, no, Gabriel.

Yeah, they do all have, they do seem to have some kind of force level cycling link. It will. And I guess that's, I guess that's the connection you get when you're part of the Catholic family. You know, you're all, you're all part of one soul. And you're all in the, in the brotherhood of, in the, of Jesus or something like that. Yeah, something like that. So meanwhile, back in Spain, or Jews, we do it our own way.

We're all independent free agents. Just living it up anyway. Continue. Meanwhile, back in Spain, the young son finds a hole in the wall in the basement and he looks at a door that has a crack in it and something happens. Then shortly afterwards, some, these aforementioned contractors are downstairs. They try to get a better look at this hole in the wall. They light a flare, which explodes and burns them. The contractors

are having none of this. They leave the job site. They walk off. I wonder if there's, they had a good contractor them. We'll find out later. It's in that post script. Yeah. In the, in the, I don't know if you say for the mid credit scene, and their lawyers dealing with enforcing the contract. Yeah, yeah. The, the son almost immediately starts doing a possessed person stuff. He, you know, he, his mom shows up and he's like, mommy, mommy, you're all going to hell and then he grabs mom's breast. He talks about breast feeding. It was pretty intense actually. That's the most intense part. That's the only part where it felt like it started getting into the territory that for me that the exorcist gets into where it's like, oh, this is genuinely upsetting to see a kid doing these things because most of it is him just going like, you're

all going to die, gay. Well, in like a second moment because it's been in voting a whole time. Let's just briefly talk about the exorcist in that. There's nothing that this demon does that you have not already seen in the exorcist. It's very specifically like all of the exorcist stuff, whether it's turning someone's head around or having writing come up on the belly or walking around like a spider.

Like a spider. But when it takes over the daughter's mind and she drops to the ground like a spider, I was like, movie, come on. Like, you know what? I've seen this before. I, I, I both agree with you and I felt like it was kind of hilarious. How close it huge towards like, like, like the writers, like they looked up, like,

well, I guess this is our monster manual of what demon to do. This is what demons do. Well, it does feel like that. They didn't want the nerds on the internet to be like, those aren't powers, demons have. Well, that happens sometimes where like a movie, it's like with the Wolfman invented all the stuff about like Wolf's Bane and things like that.

It's all made up. And then later Wolf, where Wolf movies were like, that's what we're, I mean, as it is not real traditional folklore. Yeah. Obviously, where wolves are also made, like as opposed to the real we're wolf stuff. Why is a lot of your doors, everybody? But that the, but that that people were like, I guess that's just part of being a we're

wolf. Or like, there's vampire stuff that that happens with. We're like, it'll get invented in the story and people just soot. But it is very funny that they're like, they're like, the exorcist must be based on, is they also supposedly based on facts. So we'll just do all that stuff. But it's also if they saw the exorcist and they were like, why does it have to have such a downer ending?

Why couldn't the exorcist end with father carous and the other priest rarer and to go for more adventures and more escapades? Yeah. I mean, I like walking on the theater with a little bit of a high. So the, the, the, the possessed child for a, so it's bring me the priest. So of course they bring in the local priest, who immediately gets demolished and they're like, we're going to have to call it a bigger. It's like, so he was the wrong priest. I meant Christopher Priest, the comic book writer, not the author of the prestige.

That's a different writer named Christopher Priest. Oh, interesting. Cool. Okay. I was actually confused for a second. So thank you for clarifying. There are two different writers with the same. One of them was one of them, his birth name, I believe, is Christopher Priest, the other

of the comic writer that was not his birth name. He took him on later. Anyway, great. Great. Great. Great. This is like gag editing where like the priest is like, don't worry. Like, it'll be fine. He walks in. And he immediately is blasted through the door, which is the priest is like, don't worry, like, it'll be fine.

He walks in. He immediately is blasted through the door, which is also funny because later on, like, I don't know, the demon doesn't seem to be as powerful later. He can't just blast everyone around. This is one of my issues that I have a lot of. For the sake of a joke. With exorcist movies, the power levels of the demons always seem to fluctuate based on what the movie wants.

And it's always like, this demon is so strong. I'm saying Jesus Christ's name and it's not stopping him until the end of the movie when it's important to stop the demon and then a prayer usually kind of pushes the demon away. And it's, I never can quite understand the rules of, is it that you have to say the prayer is louder or you have to say them more intensely? I think it's a power of belief thing. So clearly, like obviously this priest is no Russell Crowe, but it still is, I don't know.

I have the same problem you do. Holy shit. So I'm just looking at the stats of this demon. Yeah, he's really, he's really tough. Technically, he's a devil actually. Let me, is this as modius in the monster manual? Yeah, as modius. I mean, as modius in the monster manual. Yeah, as modius. I mean, that's as modius is a principle, yeah.

It's a famous, a famous old demon. Also, the, also of course, the evil snake from Red Wall, but that's, you know, not the same character. After class, armor class 30. Well, that explains good, good luck, dude. How many experience points you get for taking him down? Oh, to check. That's a lot though.

I'm trying to find his challenge rating real quick. I mean, that's the thing. Russell Crowe was out there grinding with other these fake demons just to build up his powers and then he... Yeah, yeah, that's what he had to get up his levels. Yeah. So because this is also... This is what's going on.

155,000XPs. Wow. Take that to the book. Take it to the experience bag my my older son just got the monster manual as a gift recently And so he's just walk around quizzing me on the experience points and armor classes of monsters I've never heard of that was yeah, I don't know. I don't know just tell me That was also my relationship to the monster manual like I didn't want to play Dutch and just dragons as a kid like I didn't want to play Dujajajang as a kid.

Like I didn't have friends who did it, but I also, it sounded like it was going to be boring to me, but I loved reading the monster. Yeah, just pictures of monsters and their stats and stuff. Anyway, so this demon, like we're saying, he's just doing normal demon stuff. He calls for the other priest. I don't know how they make the connection to go all the way that they're just like, let's just go to the top of the organization. Let's just get the Pope's access. Well, the next scene is like the Pope being like, he's like, there's a situation in Spain.

I think it's a very dangerous thing. We got to, I have a very special demon, the fool you. It's not a great idea. It's not a great idea. You're going to lay it's a good, it's a, we don't always have this demon, it's a good idea. Nice. I was really happy with with all these interactions and we get to see the secret Vatican library where all the

librarians wear black robes with the hoods over their heads which makes it harder to read no it looks do it looks amazing I thought it looks so cool. So of course, Father and Morth gets dispatched. He drives the whole way on his vest. It seems like quite a trip, but you know, he's the man. Italy to Spain. Yeah, that does seem like a lot of vest. So also, let's emphasize, this is a possessed boy who's causing trouble. People have died in an explosion. He's going to take him a long time to ride a vest from Italy to Spain. He's going to stop the fuel. It's mostly just, you know, precipitating around him from what I think.

What's the thing? You know, even better is if he flew there, but he's writing the Vespa up and down the aisle of the plane the entire flight. Yeah. Friends of everyone, because that's what he did. Calling the attendant. I'm trying to sleep in this gentleman. I mean, that's a short flight.

You know, if you're going to sleep on that flight, that's wild. Yeah, that's, you must be so tired. Yeah. So he, so he arrives, they're not even sleeping on me on that flight. Yeah. He arrives at the abbey. He investigates a little bit.

Like, there's a courtyard with a mysterious well with a seal over it. He drinks some whiskey. He, he wanders around. I think this, he meets the family. He's the point click part of the adventure. Yeah. The mom is very quick to accept that this could be an exorcist situation. And that he knows it like there's that he, this is the weird thing Danry. You're saying like it was a popular movie, Elliot. Of course. That kind of wasn't that old when this came out when that they set up that they set up like he's an exorcist of the

modern world, but everyone else in the movie seems to have no trouble being convinced that there's a demon on the loose inside a boy's body. And it felt like I just wanted a little bit more pushback from, I mean, they do take the boy, I guess, to a doctor who's like, everything seems fine, but the MRI caught a demon in his body or something. Yeah. Yeah. The MRI, all men, that would be great if there's like a demon face in the MRI.

This dark spot right there, let me turn it to the side. A demon face. Yeah, that says, well, he has that'll have all the symptoms. Whoa, he's like flicking me off. He's holding two six guns and he's pointing him at me. Inside again, he's bad at this demon in here. It seems to be trying to sell me some devil to him. Oh, my son did swallow a can of red devil paint. That might be why that's in there. Holding up some hot sauce.

Oh, wait a minute. So here's the kind of demon you want. They're not as much trouble. He's got a goatee and like a nose ring and he's really into like scum music and stuff like that. But you don't have that kind of demon, unfortunately. This is the kind that wants to sell you ham. That's the kind you don't want. Yeah. You want a demon like Koop would draw. So, yeah, let's see.

So he meets the possessed boy. And this is where things get a little bit different guys because we had already seen him, we'd already seen his exorcism style before and it was pretty potent, but the demon seems to kind of resist all of his efforts. Even though when he flashes this medallion in the demon's face, we see it's his pupils separate to demon pupils and normal pupils. That was pretty cool.

That's a great, that's a good medallion too. Like, do they, can you get those at the, like the Vatican gift shop or the, probably, the claw machine game, yeah. Yeah, you have to be good at it. Like, it's the thing. Yeah, I see. They can't just let everybody have those. You got to prove that, that God has chosen you by winning the claw machine.

Unless you pay for Vatican Blue, in which case you get it for for you. Yeah, but who's going to do that? Who's going to, you look like such an asshole when you pay for Vatican Blue? What? You're going to do it. Yeah, it's like, the thing is when you don't want Vatican Blue, but they give it to you anyway. And you're like, I don't want people think that I paid for this. No, thank you. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, why must I be punished for having so many followers?

Yeah. No, but that's also how you become Pope is it use the claw machine and you get the medallion with a P. Oh, that's cool. That makes sense. Actually, it makes a lot of the P on it. I don't want the medallion with P on it. Dan, Dan, you knew not to go there and you went there anyway. You knew what I meant. You were very clear on it. I am shutting down this improv right now, you little stinker. So, Father Morth is like, there's something up here. This is a for realsie. There's a something up in other some boys.

He's like, it might be a demon. So he brings the local priest in as well. They kind of hang around and like, like, they kind of get, we kind of get to know all the characters a little bit kick back with some Bruce. Yeah. I mean, the father, Amort is kicking back with, with booze, yes. Yeah. Yeah. So he then, he's like the three ninjas and that he's kicking back. So this is where things get a little fuzzy because this is like the midpoint of the movie. So there's a lot of, we get a little

bit, we get a little bit of scares because the little bit of scares because it's a little bit of scares. And also the, the, the demon is talking about how their sins will find them out. And that can be met, that ends up meaning both personally and culturally. And Father Mortley, he's getting flashbacks to his service as a partisan in World War II fighting the Nazis in Italy. And it turns out his sin was essentially not dying during the war. But it's also tied in with, there's also like, it's mixed in with his sin of failing the young woman. What like, Rosalind? Yeah, there was another, there was another possessed, there's a possessed young woman who he

didn't take seriously as a case right. And she ended up jumping off of a bell tower right in front of him. That's the, so, look, I mean, I guess that, you know, these are, like this is obviously something that would haunt you as a person. If you felt like you didn't, someone died because you didn't take them seriously enough. But it is one of these movie scenes where it's like, nah, it's not really. Like, they don't want him to actually have done much of anything. But it is one of these movie sins where it's like, no, it's not real. They don't want him to actually have done much of anything. So his sin, I guess, is the, said she didn't need an exorcism, but then didn't like

refer her to psychiatric health. It's more like a sin of not doing enough rather than actually doing something wrong. And even the younger priest, his sin is that he had a, there was a woman he was in love with. And he wouldn't leave the priesthood for her. And so did she also take her own life? Is that what happened? She died somehow. I miss that.

I think I was key in doing that. And she died in such a way that it's impossible for her ghost to wear a top, unfortunately. So you're right that there's the sins. But the sins they have are fairly minimal compared to the sins of the Catholic Church, which were you expecting his sin to be like, yeah, there was, I was drinking and I like ran over a guy and didn't tell anyone like I hit him with my best, but then I just buried him and he was still alive. His hand was reaching up to the dirt, but I just kept piling it on until he couldn't get

out. Look, I'm the Pope's exorcist. You know, this is going to be all over the tabloids. I'm a famous writer. Like, I can't let this happen. Right. And then the guy who's getting buried is choking on the dirt and going,

like, the Pope's exorcist, the Pope needs to be exercise because there's a demon inside it. And follow this on top. No, it's not understanding. Yeah, that's not actually what I do. I don't exercise the Pope, although, you know, he could use an exercise. You don't get it like, mostly just kneels and sits.

He doesn't move around a lot. I like you have turned into chicken marks. Right. Yeah, that's it. And he's he's he's he's he's bearing this guy alive. He's thinking himself, eh, this is no good boss. It's a no good. These, the thing is these bits are kind of like Russell Crowe's mumbling the whole time.

Yeah, he is. Well, you it is Orson Wells as chicken Marx as the Pope's exorcist, yeah. Well, our friends on, on, on Blake check have what they call putters and murmurs performances and Griffin at one point, like Stuart invited him to come along on this thing, but he had other stuff. Yeah, because I was like, who do I know who would like to road trip to Staten Island to go see the Pope's exorcist with us? By Texas and after some like man, you missed some puttering and some murmuring.

Because that's what this is. And then later growling when he gets possessed. Yeah, oh, he really throws himself into the possession part, which is, and I'm like, this was the insider, and he's not a buffed-do-ness. Yeah, speaking of devil ham. And so, yeah, now, I'm gonna, I'm gonna skip ahead slightly just to say that we eventually found out that this is all part of it They've it's the demon us modius and the real sin that that is being exercised. It will has to be is the Spanish

Inquisition which the movie lays at the feet of demons that took over priests and made them do all those bad things And that was the part in the movie where I was like movie you that's a step too far like I'm sorry Like this is a step too far in kind of like in in sin washing the Catholic church where they was like, movie, you had to step too far. Like I'm sorry. Like this is a step too far in kind of like in in sinwashing the Catholic church where they're like, all that bad stuff we've done for a thousand years, that wasn't us. There was a demon inside of us, but it does mean we get to see a bunch of cool skeletons. So that was okay. We do get to see cool skeletons.

So we get another like exorcism sequence that doesn't, again, doesn't go well. The same stuff where like the demon is playing on both their minds. At one point, the important thing is that father and worth needs to learn the demon's true name because that's going to give them power over it, allowing the exorcism to be completed. Yes. But we don't know that the demon won't give up that information. Much like knowing

the true name of Humphle writer Christopher Priest gives me power over him. Should I have him in here? Yep. So Father and Morth is like, he knows something's up with this Abbey. He finds, he goes back to the well that has the seal of the Vatican on it and he pulls the lid off of the well and he finds a bunch of cool skulls. Now it looks, it's very resonant evil. And he's like, okay, so this was like Spanish Inquisition stuff. And these were people who wouldn't submit or convert or whatever. They wouldn't convert. They weren't, yeah. The Spanish Inquisition for anyone's listening who's not familiar is the Catholic Church decided that they were not so happy about other people

not being Catholic and killed them or torture them into converting. It was pretty bad. Luckily, as the movie tells us, it was just demons that did that. So our whole most cool. Just demons. So they go down into the basement. They're like, there's still something up. So the two priests go down into the basement and they find the hole in the wall and they find

the door and they push the door down. And inside is a really cool chamber that's like totally something out of Dark Souls that has a bunch of like skeletons. And in the middle of the room, there's like this cage with another skeleton. And let's not forget there's built-in bookcases. And I'm like, that's nice. Those are great built-ins. Why would you hide them behind that door?

Like take advantage of it, yeah. And they need to get through another door. And the only way they can do that is they need to find the key, which in perfect, resonable logic means they have to dig through a corpse is Tommy to find. Yeah. Here's the thing that, oh, sorry, what we can say is to, I was going to say so that it turns out that the corpse was an exorcist or an inquisitor. I don't know which one it does.

He was, he was, he was like the last line of defense to keep this demon inside this. Well, he was a priest of some kind or a cardinal or something. Here's the thing. I love a scene in a movie where someone has to dig through a gross thing to get the thing that they need. But there's like squishy sounds and stuff when he puts his hand in the scourps, this corpse is 500 years old. There should be nothing wet in it at all. It should be just a skeleton. Elliot, this is positing into a universe with demons, okay? I can allow for a little bit of squishy corpse. Also spend my disbelief about demons. It's hard for me to suspend my disbelief that somehow this, this, this seller chamber

has the right conditions to preserve soft tissue. I'm sorry. I mean, there's like a, they should be hanging salamis in there. That's what they should be doing. There's a portal to hell like next door. That's a good point. That's an indicator that keeps a lot of moisture in the atmosphere. Yeah, yeah, no, hell, like next door. But as an end point, that creates, that keeps a lot of moisture in the atmosphere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As indicated, this is as video gamey as this movie gets because it is like, yeah, okay, well, we get the secret key out of the stomach. And then later on, like, they fought, they get like the book that has not only like, as Moody as his real name, but it has the handy map for like, I was reading other demons in the world, I guess, who have been all these sleeper cell demons. Yeah. So that's the premise is that the, that when God cast the Lucifer and his buddies out, that there was 200 of them and they, they like spread out around the universe. The thing is, I'll accept, I'll accept Wild Bullshit if it's Warhammery

stuff, but this church stuff, I don't really care. No, but I, what I loved about, just because I'm a, we're young and I forget at the end, they set up, there's all these demons on earth. And the end of the movie is like, these two guys are going to go stopping demons one by one. And I was like, are they going to make 200 movies? Like, this would be amazing. I would get only home. One year, like two year at least. So that would take us 50 years. Hey, they can do it. I mean, maybe this whole thing is a backdoor pilot for a TV show.

Now, that's a little more realistic. To be honest, it does feel like a TV movie that's meant to be a pilot for a TV show. Yeah. So, and man, I'm in. Yeah, who's. I'd like to show for sure. I feel like this, I feel like this fits with HBO's model. I mean, HBO's model of take, don't have television, take all the things off of your streaming

service. Yeah, moving stuff over from discovery to, so, yes, so they find HBO's model of saying, remember HBO, not anymore. So they find this hidden chamber behind the wall that has like a liquidy portal to hell. There's a throne with an exorcist body on it. That that exorcist has this dead body has a book that has as modius's name and a mapped all the demons. It also is like surrounded by like, there's like an iron maiden. There's like men here's or whatever. Like the cold symbols.

I mean, they basically walked into a Mike Mignola comic like at this point, that monkey's got a gun. Uh, so they, uh, what make no like I never know how to pronounce his last name. I've never heard. Mignola. Mackle. Mignola. When I'm making a hell boy, I make a nice hell boy for you. This is me real good. Because you're such a good customer. Throw in a sum of BPRD. No, that's just extra. You know, you need to pay for it.

Yeah. So they now the armed with as I was talking. I was talking to a of a savior himself, a dog himself and he was a say on that anyway. So. So armed with as modus is true name, they're like, let's go exercise this

fucking demon. So they go up there already, the demon starting to process everybody. Literally apart where they like the two of them plus the family, like walk in formation slowly towards the end to, yeah, because they mean it for real this time. And is this around that? Is it by now has the Pope started having his attacks or no? Yeah, I think you're right. The Pope is started having his attacks for a while. A lot of the times it would cut back to the Pope and he's like pouring over ancient tombs.

All these redacted tombs. And he's like, oh, no, this is a terrible. It's great. I love it. It's so awesome. He's like, he's like sweating on the pages. It's really great. Somebody is scribbling all over the book.

Oh, no. It's awesome. So over illuminated this, a man is scribble. Yeah. You're supposed to put it a picture next to the words, not a top of the words. I can't read it all. It's a called a marginalia. It's super cool. He's got a margin, a right in the name. What are you doing? So he, the Pope, the Pope is reading these books and it's all redacted and he reads the like, you know, your past sins will haunt you or something. And then he has an attack and they have to take him to the hospital where he then vamits up a bunch of blood and we're like, is that magic?

What's the one here? That is for the post general practitioner to take a look at him and the post internist. Yeah. So, yeah, he's not doing so good. It is very funny the part where the young cardinal is like, this is outrageous and then the Pope just spews blood. I love it. I think it was at that point and where I was like, okay, movie, I've got your full measure

now. This is a goofy movie. Again, not the goofy movie. Not the goofy movie. I don't think goofy is possessed by Esmodius in that. I don't know until we watch it for our goof movie spectacular that we do, but this movie does get sillier as it goes on. So yeah, so now we have the big showdown exorcism now that they have Esmodius's name.

And this is where the demon unleashes its full strength, sending Russell Crowe's character into like, you know, sending him all kinds of visions. We also, the, what's the young priest name? I want to say like Gabriel. Now, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I'll look it up, hold on. Yeah, it's something. But he starts sending him visions of a naked woman, which I was like, wow, this is pretty late in the movie to see a naked person. What is it? What is it?

What is the devil's advocate? It's like the parrot squawk in citizen cane. They're like, wake them up, wake the audience up. Throw some boobs at them. So and then, yeah, so the daughter turns it. Father Eskabel, is that it? That's the other one, right? Yeah, I think so.

The Daniels of Otto. Yep. So the daughter turns into like a crab lady or a spider lady and starts climbing all over Is that it? It's the other one, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Is my Daniels of Otto. Yep. So the daughter turns into like a crab lady or a spider lady and starts climbing all over the walls and she starts attacking her mother. The priest starts getting throttled by his own, his own scarf and we're like, oh man, things are looking good for our heroes.

So father and morth is like, you know what? There's only one option here. And he holds on to the child and he's like, come into me. So he takes the demon as modius into himself, thus freeing the child from possession. All the other demon stuff kind of stops. So everybody runs away, but like father and Morth is like really holding on to it.

He's like, oh man, good to cross out in my hands. And this is where we get some serious Russell Crowe, ham and it up. He's like full on demon eyes. And he's like thrown himself around. He's arching his back in ways that are challenging for an older actor. Well, also the camera spinning around him while he stands in place. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to mention, the reason that the demon specifically wanted this guy was to be a sleeper within the Catholic church. And there was part of me, once Russell Crowe got possessed, I was like, are we going to get one of those endings where it seems like everything's okay. And then Russell Crowe-

And the Pope turns to the camera and he's got cat-sized at the end. Yeah, exactly. Like, or Russell Crowe's eyes gleam, you know, and you're like, oh, no, he really was still possessed. But you know, it's not that kind of movie. No, it's it's the sillier option. Yeah, it's one of those, it was one of those demon exorcist movies that ends on an upbeat fuck. Yeah, here we go. Type note. Yeah, guitarist and watch that. Yeah. So he at one point he tries to hang himself, but it doesn't work because the demon ain't going out like that.

So he drags himself down into the basement and the other priest follows him. He wanders into the, he wanders into the chamber with the, like the, the pool to hell and a, like a Virgin Mary type figure floats up out of the pool and then morphs into the woman that he was unable to save now, like a totally demonified. And she like, she attacks him. That was a disappointment to me because I was like, when the Virgin Mary showed up, I was like, if this movie goes all the way and has the Virgin Mary appear and save him at the end, then I'd be like, movie, you've got the courage of your convictions.

Like it's Catholic characters go all the way. Just like do it, but they, they don't. Or if they do get out, that would, I got the Virgin Mary's like punch in the, punch in the devil. The demon right out of them. Uh-huh. Yeah. Like, uh, if I, if I see a religious thing, I either want it to be not what do you think or what do you think are fighting stylists? Is she like a zoner?

Is she a brawler? Is she like kind of like like a Chun Lee like? Like a person I'm imagine a lot of kick flips. A lot of kicks like like a Vega who's jumping around a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Virgin Mary. She's not a trap character, yeah. No, she's not gonna like bear hug the devil

and then like crush him like Zangie. If she gets her hips and she moves away, she gets her hips and she moves away. Yeah, rush down, yeah. She comes from different angles, yeah. A lot of combos, a lot of super combos. That's cool, that's a cool, that's a pretty cool, I'd be terrible with her,

but she sounds like a pretty good character. She's like an interesting addition to the roster, yeah. Pradeling her enemies like head like it's the baby, but then like that, like there's a moment of like sweetness and then it gets crushed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's got a, she's got a command grab, yeah, that makes sense. But I really, when I see a thing that's religious, I either want it to be not that religious because I don't believe in Catholicism or I mean, I believe it exists,

but I'm not a follower of it. Or I want it to go all the way and be so totally religious. And so I kind of want to see now a movie that is out and out totally, totally Catholic believes all this and Virgin Mary shows up at the end and saves the day. You know, not in a superhero, not as we just talked about. And obviously, I would also like it to bear like classic imagery where like the devil's all or like a floating head with like goats legs flying around.

Oh, yeah. He's got three mouths and each one is chewing on a famous traitor. Yeah, of course. Definitely. Yeah, that sounds great. That sounds great. Okay. But it's all a trick.

And then, but then another lady comes out too. Yeah. So, well, she, so she attacks him. And then when the other priest arrives, now Russell Crowe is seated in the throne at this point, you're like, oh no, is he completely lost? And so this is where the priest tries to, you know, tries to win Father Morth back. He tries to win him back a little bit. And in the process that brings back the demon lady and out from the iron maiden springs, the blood covered woman that he had slept with him betrayed.

He's his lover who he wouldn't leave the priest to head for. Yeah. And she's beating the shit out of him. Okay. She's like chucking him around like he's like he's she's folding him up like laundry. He's not. And it is, it is, there is something really scary about being attacked by a naked person.

I'm, it's terrifying. They should seem more vulnerable, but they don't. And there's a video, I'll always remember from, there was a naked man who was having some kind of a mental break on a subway platform. And people are around him and it's like a lion is loose on the subway platform.

Like he's kind of like moving towards people and they're jumping back. And it's just and if he was in clothes, I don't think there'd be a scared. There's some of the that I mean, very scary. That's that's way sadder than what I imagined when I laughed at the beginning of you saying there's a video like a naked part.

Like I was like, Ali, no, at first I thought you would seen some sort of like wrestling porn that like, no, that's not. No, that's very weird. That was basically a black mirror episode, right? So the, yeah, so we have, we have two fights going on. We have Russell Crowe fighting one lady. We have the other priest fighting another lady, the other priest.

And there's nothing, there's nothing problematic, of course, about a movie where ultimate evil is represented by the only two women in the movie who are not a mother or a daughter. And they're covered in blood, which of course represents menstrual blood, the sore, so all evil. And so there's nothing problematic about that at all. Funny you should say covered in blood because the other priest takes out a magical priest coin and he presses it against the flesh of the demon lady fighting him, which bubbles and then she immediately bursts like a blood balloon. That was me to cackle. That was such a great moment. One because it was like, I guess it wasn't that difficult to get rid of her.

Yeah, your magic coin, I guess you can use it once. But also the effect of her body bubbling up and exploding was not what I was expecting from that one. Yes. Well, and I like that it just happened. It didn't like, it didn't cut to him be like, and say something sassy like, sorry to burst your bubble or something. Yeah, here's blood in your eye, you know, yeah.

So, it wasn't him going, sank to sangre, you know, or something like that. He just does it and she just blinks. I was so caught up in it. I don't even remember how Russell Crowe beats the other one. Well, they just tossed the coin over and it's a two-fer. Yeah, they just used the coin. They've been using this coin for a year. And then he pushes her back and she falls into the lake. The lake of lava. Yeah, the lake of lava. And then she's like 100% I'm like, is spawn going

to come out of this shit? Is like old timey. No, I was like, virtual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's real long. And stuff. What was, what was the, what was the movie of Jeff Goldblum? Hightaway. Yeah. It's like, hideaway effects. It's really. Yeah. And they're just shouting prayers until until the demon sinks into the into the lava. Yeah. It, you know, exactly what I wanted from because even though shouting prayers did not work earlier, it does work. They didn't shout out.

Well, shouting new words now, it's lava. Yeah. Maybe it's a lot. They're just taking credit for the lava at that point. Yeah. So now we get a little bit of wrap up. They, you know, they head back to the Vatican. Now they're a team.

They're like, hey, with all the information you gathered, here's a map of all the, the 199 other demons we have to defeat. Yeah. And they're like, you know, I'm not in a problem. And a demon is almost like, yep. And they're like, I guess, yeah, it's very much alike. Hey, this, here's the next step on art. So you got to do a job.

I think they literally say, let's get to work or something like that. Yeah. And but also it shows you the, the heart, where this movie's heart is, that the family that is being inflicted with all this trouble, they don't really get that much time ultimately. And they're just like, yeah, so the family went home and they're fine now. We don't even get to see a scene of them being healthy. It's just onto the priests. We don't care about those people, you know?

Yeah, what's the next priest adventure? Rock music, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I mean, it should have ended with the two of them, two electric guitars riding twin vespas through the streets of Rome, onto their next adventure. That would have been an amazing thing. I mean, the last shot should have been like a new possession

and then all of a sudden two vespas blew up. But the last shot was, in fact, it's like a steal of Russell Crowe walking way or walking way or whatever. And then they have like the text on screen saying the thing about like, you know, he went on to do this many more exorcisms or whatever. And I'm like, I'm like, wait a minute, what? You're telling me this is a real guy movie and then like, it's like immediately based on the books by father.

And I'm like, what? Liberally adapted, I would assume. Yeah, I had trouble reading all that because the movie left me on such a high note. I was literally buzzing in my chair. It was amazing. So let's final judgment. Yeah, final judgment. This is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or movie kind of like, I didn't even kind of like, I like this movie.

It's your favorite movie now. Well, you know, it doesn't look. Nothing can reach the heights of cats, but it has some of the same quality of like, I don't know whether it's good or it's bad. It's good qualities are inseparable from its, quote, unquote, bad qualities. Like, would I like a better, objectively, quote, better version of this movie, as much as I like this version?

Probably not. And like, it's not, it's not like it's the most zany in terms of what happens in the movie because in a lot of ways, it hits on very, wrote plot points, but there are plot points of three different types of movies that have been jammed together. The movie definitely sets you up for a certain type of movie and then abruptly swirves to a different but related type of movie and then abruptly swirves again. Exactly. It kept me on my toes not in a like, oh, who knows what's going to happen this movie. So somebody twists and turns, but more a sense of like, where are you going movie?

Like, what? Do you even know? Are you driving blindfolded and that turned into like a, you get like a giddy feeling at first, to a certain extent. Here's the metaphor I'll give. It's like if three different songs were playing at the same time, and yet, you know, that sort of cacophony, and yet that somehow was delightful because in the middle, there was one man dancing to that music

and he was doing the most beautiful dance. You mean, your time at Russell Crowe's was he was doing the most beautiful dance. They're talking about Russell Crowe's performance. Well, for Pro. The most beautiful dance. I mean, it certainly is a movie that gained so much from his how how full like all in his performances and that he is not trying to he knows what kind of movie this is or at least he knows how to have fun with it, you know, and so he's he's at that level. I definitely it's really highlighting how this this kind of later career Russell Crowe where he is,

he might not have the power to pull some bigger movies. So he's doing these B movies, but he's bringing a really high level of energy between this and unhinged, which he's fucking great. of energy between like this and unhinged, which he's fucking great. I feel bad that I feel like I was harder on poker face than the movie that we did. Then I would have been, if I knew he was saving all that energy for this movie. And that's like, it was so down and so glum

and lifeless than that. That he's like, God, I save it for the Pope's exorcist. That's gonna be the fun one, you know. And I think also maybe some of my joy is like, this is a type of thing that used to be more common and isn't anymore of just like a movie that's really unabashed in its schlockiness, but they have managed to afford one really good actor

who's like, yeah, sure, I'll do. You know? And I'll say, I feel like the rest of the cast is also serving. Yeah. It's actually the little kid. The little kid is great. Yeah, I feel like nobody is bad in it. No one's.

Frank O'Neill is perfect. Frank Nero is just like, it's such a, it's such a, it's such not the way you would expect the Pope to be played normally. No. And it's so fun. Like, this is also when I I think I'm gonna put it more in kinda like territory because I don't want people to, I wanna save my actual like for movies where I'm like,

fully on board, but I think you're right that like, there's a good version of this, there's a quote unquote good version of this movie, a quality version of this movie, that would not be as enjoyable, and not as good as this. And we already have the exorcist. Like we have an exorcism story told as well from a serious point of view as it's going

to be done. So like why not make your exorcist movie like silly, you know, and not silly in the what not silly like, was it dispossessed? Repossessed. Repossessed. Repossessed, which is not, which is a bad version of a funny version of that. Yes. A movie that I was, as I was telling Dan last night, a movie that I mainly remember from

the New Seeds. Yeah, thumbs up. I'm going to say this is definitely a movie I liked. The following pro wrestling contest is scheduled for one fall. Making the way to the ring from the Tikes & Fights podcast or the baddest trio of audio, the hair to be wear Daniel Radford! It really is! Great hair! The Brit with a permit to hit Lindsay Cal! The Queen is dead long live the Queen!

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the voice of co-host and fearless leader Joe Firestone. This is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners and we play them with colors over Zoom. We've never spoken to in our lives. So that is basically the concept of the show. Pretty chill. So take it or leave it, Bucco. And here's what some of the listeners have to say. It's funny, wholesome, and it never fails to make me smile. I just started listening and I'm already been doing it. I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I wish started listening and I'm already been doing it. I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I wish I discovered it sooner. You can find Dr. Game Show on MaximumFund.org.

Well, we have a couple of sponsors. We should take a moment to thank and acknowledge. And the first one is Smalls. You know, cat food has been the same forever. I don't know if that's true, but it's here in the copy. Cat food has been the same forever. I don't know if that's true, but it's here in the copy. Cat food has been the same forever. Keep going. Keep undercutting the sponsor. Good. Good. It's time for cat food to move into the 21st century. Well, you know, like back in the middle ages, you know, what you fed your cat was probably different than Urina. I mean, no, Dan, cats have been eating the same period of food since saber tooth tigers were walking around. I mean, colloquially, cats have been eating the same period of food since saber tooth tigers were walking around.

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I started thinking, I started thinking like him rewriting the green peas or whatever it was. Yeah. Uh, can't start a word within. Yeah. I can't say a sense of them. Uh, I'm also going to talk about our other sponsor today, and we're also sponsored by Babel. Now for most of us learning a second language in high school or college was not exactly

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So, I'm not gonna be in. You're allowed. Thank you. Before we go on, I just also like to mention that house broken, the Fox animated show that I've worked on for the past couple of years as a new season, new episodes are airing on Fox on Sunday nights and also appearing on Hulu. Take a listen to it. Take a watch of it. It's really good and it's really funny. It's got an all-star cast. It's about animals that talk and have therapy together. I think you'll enjoy it. Back to you, Dan. Thanks, Elliot. Letters from listeners, that's the thing we do and we're going to do it now. This one's from Rachel last name, not withheld. You'll see the rest of the letter for the details on that one.

So it's not Rachel G. married and the middle initial G is forgetting. It's not that I can tell. So it starts like this. Dan mentioned in the recent episode, your place for mind that he'd like to see a film based on the book Arthur and George by Julian Barnes. I thought he'd like to know that there was a UK TV miniseries based on it. I can't see it. I haven't seen it, but I remember it was pretty well received at the time.

Sidebar, I think I did say that I knew that it had been adapted, but just not as a movie. And I specifically wanted to get a story. Take a satisfaction of having taught you a new thing away from our listeners. Thank you. No, no, no, no, I appreciate. There are multiple people who told me about this. I appreciate it from everyone.

I did see that when I was looking into it. So this is you sub tweeting, stop telling me about it to people. No, I'm reading a letter that's going to get to a better point later on that we can talk about. Not matter. You can just say thanks.

I thank you for. So Dan, what I'm just reassuring everyone that I know that this exists. I haven't seen myself. Our national nightmare is over. Dan is familiar with the adaptation. He hasn't watched it, but he knows it exists. No, no, no. Orange alert over.

We no longer need to get that. We're also living in the orange alert. Next paragraph that is related. So I concluded the beginning setup. But anyway, I realize that it's contrary to the tradition of the show to share last names. But I also thought Dan might like to know that there's a flop house listener whose last name is Sherlock. And what's more, I share an apartment with a friend of mine whose surname is Watson. What?

Although we live in Dublin rather than London, and we solve very few mysteries, we still get a lot of enjoyment out of the coincidence anyway. They live at 221 D butchers Street. And a Mrs East River is the. I also wondered if you had any thoughts on the future of Sherlock Holmes in cinema. The Inola Holmes movies seem to be his current iteration, but are there any more avenues left unexplored? Has his reign as the most portrayed screen character left the well dry at the stage? Should he be left alone with his bees for a bit?

Regardless, Rachel, last name, not withheld Seba for further details. I haven't, what's the deal with the Nola homes? What's the deal there? That's Millie Bobby Brown's series, and I say series, there's two of them. Is it like Sherlock Holmes's sister or something like that for me? Netflix films. Yes, it's his sister. It had previously been written out of the stories. She's very charming in them. She does a lot of talking to the audience and the person who either wrote or directed them did directed the flea bag episodes. So like, okay, it's got some of the talking to the audience

has that same kind of breezy feel. They're fun. They're entertaining movies, I like them. Okay, so, but let's get back to the question then. Yeah. I mean, I think Sherlock Holmes needs long running character. Obviously, it needs to go to space. Yeah.

From the upper and we've had and we've had a gender swapped punk rock 80s one from Guy Davis's Baker Street comics. So here's something. Oh, it's our Dan. Well, just, I mean, since we mentioned Sherlock Holmes in space, I was going to say, I guess the closest we got is when data would dress up as Sherlock Holmes on the holiday and have adventures. That was, I always thought that was kind of funny that they were like, hey, by the way, we're tired of doing Star Trek shows. We're going to do something else. So here's a, this is a real idea that I've been trying to develop and I don't know what I'm going to do with it.

Dan has there ever been a story where Moriarty is the hero and Sherlock Holmes is the bad guy because I was, I was thinking a while ago about something where Moriarty rather than just being like a crime kingpinnie's portrayed that way, but that he is an anti-imperialist and Sherlock Holmes is working for the government in order to shut him down. Where like Sherlock Holmes is a cat spa of a of Imperial written basically. I can't think of a specific one, but I can almost assure you that that has happened. Probably, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's the problem with the character, like trying to find a new spin on that kind of a character is a challenge.

Well, okay. I feel like what if it's a kid and he's like Sherlock Holmes, Jr. Mm-hmm. What if it's a doctor played by Hugh Laurie? I feel like without putting a big spin on it, have there been a lot of like animated Sherlock Holmes, like maybe a traditional Sherlock Holmes story, but you say, animated? No, I said, I said traditional, not a twist on it.

And that one, Sherlock Holmes, instead of being a man, was a gnome. And Basil of Baker Street is basically a mouse Sherlock Holmes. But again, not a traditional, yeah, like basically the, I mean, I just straight. Yeah, forward. I mean, I am in England. I'm amazed there wasn't a like a Saturday morning cartoon in the 80s or 90s. That was like, like Sherlock Holmes, 2079 where he's like, it's Sherlock Holmes in the future. Maybe there was.

I know they did with the phantom. Maybe they did do that was where the Holmes actually. Let me take a look. I'm going to find out. Hold on. Yeah. Google those exact numbers too. So no, more than L.

See if it. Well, well, Elliot's doing that. I think there's a show called Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century. Okay, never mind, there goes that idea too. They've done everything. Dan has Sherlock Holmes every investigating the Jack the Ripper murders because it feels like there's a possibility there. Many, many.

Okay, well, what about Dracula? Uh-huh. Yeah. Did you all these things? Was the ever part of a character, like a league of characters who are extraordinary in some way? Was he technically part of the league? No, he wasn't. He's dead when the he's he's he's he shows up in the flashbacks, but the the idea is that shadow rooms large in them. Exactly. Yeah. His brother should know maybe does need to take a break with his bees for a little bit. But the thing is like most generally Miller ever played him. It's such a strong character that most of the versions work in some way or another. That's the thing. Anyway.

He is a character who is so much stronger than most of the material he's in, including in my opinion, the original many of the original stories. Like he's such a strong character. Then I'm sure he'll come back and say, I feel like he's right up there with like Frankenstein, where it's like, even if there's a lot of string of bad ones, there's going to be a good one eventually, because they, you can't put them down forever. This next letter from Derek and Clara, wait, Dan, what if Sherlock Holmes was a fox and his sidekick was a mouse? Yeah, Dan. Sorry, I don't know.

Oh, it's a slialock box. That's, of course, a max mouse. And Max Mouse. Yeah, I don't want to, I got, give Max Mouse his props. What if instead of Max Mouse, it was Dodger's star of Max Muncie? Yeah, Dan. So, Dan, one is titled this letter that is titled Jumbo Tron Engagement. I never thought it would happen to me, but here I am almost a year and a half after paying

for Jumbo Tron proposal. And finally, writing back to say that she said, yes. Oh, good. Admittedly, she said, yes, the day we listened to the episode back on, what's this January 29th, 2022. But since then, we have said to ourselves weekly, we should really get back to them and tell them we got married. Well, 64 episodes later, here we are.

So thank you very much for the assist and keep up the good work, cheers, Derek and Clara. We did something, guys. Thank you so much for writing it. That was all us. I've been on the edge of my seat ever since we first announced it. And now I can finally use the whole thing because I'm paying for the whole chair, but I'm just using the edge. Yeah, thank God.

You're paid for by that lovely jumbo tron. Treat your butt to a full seat. Jennifer convertibles. Treat your butt to a full seat. Well, congratulations. We're so excited and we hope that you're happy together. Yeah, congratulations. So let's round out this episode in the traditional way by recommending movies. I'd like to recommend a little movie called The Pope's Exorcist, the film that has. The most joy recently.

You know what, if you need something that's not the Pope's exorcist. Sorry, there's no other movies. I finally saw Dungeons and Dragons, which was also a lot of fun, but you know, that doesn't need my help. The best part of that Dungeons is, I don't know, it's not playing in that many theaters anymore. You think it didn't, I mean, I'm sure you did well. It's great. It's a lot of fun.

Movies just don't last that long. I mean, Super Mario Brothers has been a huge movie, but even that is starting to leave theaters like it's no avatar too. The obviously, I think, I think Dan's favorite part of the Dungeons and Dragons movie was the PSA beforehand, where they made the whole cast come out and tell us that we're the real heroes for going to movies. And Hugh Grant looks so unhappy. I've never seen a man look less happy to be anywhere. I literally just tweeted about how unhappy Michelle Rodriguez looks in that. Go back, go back, spin the tape back, Dan, and look at Hugh Grant's face.

He looks like he is witnessing his children getting the whole thing. Yeah. The whole thing is kind of a hostage video feel. It shows you how much Nicole Kidman really loves the movies. That she is genuinely delighted by how hard break feels good in a place like this. Yeah, it's incredible. And that was a fun movie, it was a blast. Yeah, so recommendations from either of you or both.

Yeah, I got preferably. I'm recommending, I'm going to recommend two fucking movies because they're both movies in a series. They are Korean films. They are directed by the guy who wrote the screenplay for I Saw the Devil. It is the first movie is called The Witch, semi-colon. No wait, colon, part one, the subversion. A semi-colon would have been a pretty baller move, Jesus.

It would have been crazy, right? These movies aren't that crazy. And then the sequel, of course, is The Witch, part two, the other one, which feels like they ran out of gas on that title, but that's okay. Throw a semicolon in there. Get the juice back in. So, I mean, these are pretty straightforward, like horror action movies about, like children who have been experimented on to be turned into like super powered beings. And of course, some of those children get loose. And then they have to send other super-powered beings after the young girl who's now grown up to being a super-powered teenager.

And the movie kind of spins off from there adding more super-powered people. And they're really violent and gory, and they're a little bit too long. But if you're looking for like a fun gory action series, check them out. The witch part one, the subversion and the witch part two, the other one, and maybe they'll make a third one. They're setting it up. The witch part three yet another witch. I would like to go at just like dams break in all the rules

by recommending the movie from this episode. I'm going to break a just like dams break in all the rules by recommending the movie from this episode I'm going to break a little bit of rules I'm going to recommend a short this is not a full length feature this is a short movie Dan Dan check the rule book real quick yeah my love is there really nothing in the rule book that says you can't do it all right I'm going to recommend this is a movie that I am shocked that I was not aware of before this is a movie called the appointments of Dennis Jennings this is the movie that I shocked that I was not aware of before. This is a movie called The Appointments of Dennis Jennings. This is the movie that Stephen Wright won an Academy Award for, which I was, for some reason, was not familiar with.

It stars Stephen Wright, Rowan Atkinson, and Laurie Metcalfe. So I'm like, I, what was this blind spot that I wasn't aware of this? Because I love all those people. And it feels like, it's only a half hour long, and it really feels like it is a fictional movie version of essentially Stephen Wright's act in a lot of ways. Need to live as a lot of Stephen Wright jokes and he plays a kind of like a paranoid guy

who has a girlfriend but is paranoid about losing her and he has appointments for the psychiatrist but by Ron Atkinson who clearly openly hates him and does not like listening to him when he talks. And it's one of those things where it's watching it, I was like, oh, so that show Louis in addition to being made by a creep also ripped everything off, not just from Woody Allen, but from this short film. Like, it really feels like this is the proto version of that.

But I really enjoyed a lot. I mean, I'm a huge fan of Stephen Wright as a comedian and it feels like you're watching his act in movie form. So that's the appointments of Dennis Jennings. It's all up on YouTube. You just watch the whole thing. You don't even have to pay anything for it. I don't know if that's legal, but you know what man? Comedy wants to be free. That's Ellie. It's life hack. That's my life hack. Watch it on YouTube. Okay. Well, you know what? This has been great. I really enjoy going out to see a movie in the theater. Yeah. We always say like maybe we should do that more often. Maybe we should

do it more often, especially because it gives Ellie an excuse to go see movies that maybe he wouldn't normally. Just to get out of my house. Any excuse, I'd love to leave my house often. Look at the smile on his little face. Yeah, that's amazing. He's a smile. So it's amazing that it fits on my little face, my baby face. That little doll face. A doll face. And a doll face part two starring Laurie Metcalfe. Yeah. A doll face to the version. A doll face to the other one. We're the doll that's another face. That's what I don't know. And I'm saying, it's like, you got to see the play. They'll find out. I'm Italian now. Oh, cool. We went down a little cold attack there, but now we're turning to the highway.

I'm going to say, let's a rabbit hole and more of a sinkhole. But yeah. I'll say, thanks for listening. Go over to maximumfun.org. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to I'll say. Let's a rabbit hole and more of a single hole. But yeah. I'll say thanks for listening. Go over to maximumfun.org to find other great podcasts on the Max Fun Podcasting Network. Thank you to Alex Smith. He is known as Howell Daudy on various socials.

He produces and edits the show and does a lot of other great stuff. Check out his own work. Thank you for listening. For the flop house, I have been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington. I've been Elliot Kaylen. Bye. What? I hate it. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Is it me you've been waiting for? Is it me you're looking for So, Dan, that body is at the floor. That path, that path, that song I think it might have come out before The Brought to Work Song I think it might have come out before the Rod Stewart song.

Oh, and so I'm gonna do some research on that. And maybe blow that whole Rod Stewart situation wide open, stealing the stealing Halle's Brazilian song. That was so funny when she just started doing that. I'm like, what is happening? Ha, ha, ha. Maximumfund.org, comedy and culture. That's it.