The Flop House - Exit to Eden

Episode Date: April 18, 2026

For Max Fun Drive 2026 (starting this Monday 4/20)the Peaches issued a fiendish challenge to one another -- we each get ONE pick to bedevil the others with, and Stuart starts us off with a doozy: 1994's EXIT TO EDEN. It started out as an erotic BDSM novel by Anne Rice, so clearly the best person to bring the heat was Garry Marshall, known for such previous Flop House faves as Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. So climb on board the sex boat and take a ride with us to sex island as we dissect this wild misfire. MAX FUN DRIVE is how the Flop House keeps going. If you've enjoyed these shows and think creator-owned media is a good thing to support, then please consider becoming a sustaining member at maximumfun.org/join (or, for folks who only listen to The Flop House, use a streamlined checkout at maximumfun.org/joinflop)! Stay updated on all things Flop House, plus a little extra, with our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! Wikipedia page for Exit to Eden Recommended in this episode: Dan: Pajama Party (1964) Stu: Swordfish (2001) Elliott: Naked Gun (2025)

On this episode we discuss, exit to Eden. In honor of the Max Fun Drive, I torture my friends with a movie I haven't seen before. So of a bitch. Hey, everyone, and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm... It's sound Elliot Kalin. And we're all in the same room.

We're all in the same room. Shut up, shut up. We can't talk about that right now. It's Max Fun Drive time. Right at the top of the show. I want to say something. Thank you. I do know.

Thank you for listening. Shut up, idiots. Let me start. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Max Fun Drive starts this Monday, April 20th, 420. Woo!

Charlene's birthday. Woo! Don't get distracted today. Max Fun Drive. It's the time of year when we celebrate you, the listeners. And we also remind you that this show exists because good folk like you. Tip us for the laughs and insights and heartwarming goo we provide by pledging $5 a month or more.

So head to maximum fund.org slash join to learn more and support the flop house. I'll be back with more on that later. But now we can do the niceties. Elliot's here in my apartment. I'm in person in Dan's apartment. It's never looked nicer. Oh, thank you. That's a compliment that is very backhanded.

It implies that your apartment used to look like shit. But now it looks pretty good. We're also... It's always been a nice apartment. To get the video that we use for our social media stuff, usually, you know, we're on Zoom because we're recording to Elliot in L.A. And now we just have to record ourselves. And so we're looking at a mirror image of ourselves right now,

all three in a row, which is very disconcerting. That's one of the great things is that in the modern world of podcasting, it's relatively inexpensive and easy to get very professional-looking, video and we staunchly opposed to it. Still won't do it. What is nice though is that the image is reversed so when I look at it I see Stewart's face

instead of my own. I have to stare right down the barrel of myself because I'm in the middle. What I keep thinking when I look at it is one of these ghouls will go home with you at the end of the ride. You guys I do therapy via Zoom and what does this have to do with overtime?

I have to minimize the window that's me because I don't want to look at myself. My therapist makes me minimize the image of me, yeah. He hides self-viewed. My therapist makes me maximize the image of me for maximum shame. You've got to see your pores. Exactly, yeah. Anyway, we're doing our show.

It's called The Flop House. No. What do we do on this show? Well, it's a podcast where we watch movies that were critical or commercial flops. But today you said we're talking about exit to Eden. Best Picture winning Bopo box office. The winner of 1995. It's a movie that I have mentioned to two people that we were going to do,

and both of them had a blank look on their face. Everyone I talked about this movie has said, what is that? Which I think is so funny because it is a movie that when it came out, even as a child, I was like, why did they make this movie? When I saw the commercials, made a huge impression on me. It loomed large and bad movie dumb. It introduced me to what I would call 90s erotic soundtrack music,

which is when there's drums that are like, don't, do, do, do. And then you hear a flute that goes, is that the my wife and I were watching my wife and I were watching this movie and when yeah I think that is... Did you guys go in?

Totally. And I think that specific music is from an artist named Enigma. Oh yeah, sure. And Charlene's like, this music was so popular. They play Return to Innocence in it and I know it from the commercials for the pure mood seating. Is that the one that goes... Sadness. Yeah, it's the one

that goes... Do do-doo. It goes, Hey, hey! Hey! Return to Innocence. Yeah. So that was a hit song if you were listening to the Pure Mood CD. Well, let's talk a little bit about... Which also included tubular bells from The Exorcist.

I think before we get into exit to Eden, I don't want to like, you know, step on your turf, Stuart, because I know that you're... This is a movie that you chose to inflict upon us for Max Fun Drive. I suppose we should reiterate this. We have been picking movies or this is going to be the... the first one, we have picked movies to torture one another with. This was Stewart's pick, which he had not seen.

I had not seen. But this movie has an interesting backstory, too, that maybe we should set up beforehand. I don't know. Yeah, well, my backstory for picking it, which I think is an important point, is that I hadn't seen it. And when I was a kid, I was like, this looks fascinating. But it also was definitely too adult for, what, 14-year-old Stewart, who was, I was strictly in the PG territory, everybody. You're saying 14, PG-13 would be okay.

Not for this guy. And, but then, like, I heard immediately, I heard that it was bad. And I'm like, but I like Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd. Well, that's the thing. So I'm two years older. So I was 16 when this came out. And I saw it in the theater.

Now, you might say, this is our rated movie. Boy, I sure felt bad that I saw it on HBO. But you shouldn't have gone to see it in the theater. You were a year or too young. Back in those days, no one cared. Did you go by yourself just in a trench coat paper bag full of smut with you or your parents take you? So you know my pal.

Your parents were like, we don't want to have to have the talk with you. Oh good, this movie's coming out. Yeah, yeah. This will teach you everything you need to know. We're going to drop you off the theater. Then we're going to pick you up. We will not look at each other's eyes when we pick you up and we will never talk about it again.

And you'll be a man. Dan's apparently reported fetishes. This movie actually touches on some of them. Dan's fetish is of incredibly vanilla light taps to the tush? reporting my fetishes. It's anonymous, but somebody is, if my parents are listening, this will be the first thing

or hearing of me having seen Exitin. I believe I saw this, you know, my... On a school trip? My childhood pal, a rusty householder. Sure, sure, yeah. You've met him.

If he's listening, maybe he can confirm or deny this, but I believe that we saw this together. We went out and we were so... Oh, wow. That's what, like a pact? Like one of these, we're going to do the worst thing we can next?

I don't know what? His reason was, I think that my reason, in addition to liking Dan Aykroyd, was I had a crush on Dana Delaney. Sure, who wouldn't? I also have to point out that this was back in 1994, and entertainment options were far more limited back then. That's true. Pick up your phone and just watch any movie. Especially in the middle of Illinois amongst the cornfield. I'm kind of amazed that Exit Eden came to the local theater in Eureka, Illinois.

Amazing. Oh, there's no theater. Oh, no. At least not by the time I was around him. So where did you see this? Like in someone's garage? I would have gone to Washington to see this, or perhaps Peoria, the two more metropolitan areas. So I don't know if we were talking about this in the show.

We may have. I find it hilarious that Dan's idea growing up of like a big city is Peoria, the city that is Hollywood slang for the back, like the sticks. Backwater. And I'm assuming that was brought up there though. But he didn't stay there? No. And I'm assuming that as did I. So you're like a modern-day Richard Pryor?

in that way. I didn't say it. You did. And that Metropolitan Multiplex, I'm sure, was populated almost exclusively with people that dressed like the neighbor couple in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. For sure. The comedically yuppie couple. Well, I'm glad we got into our... Who are cool. No, no, they're the heroes

of that movie as far as I'm concerned. But... There are no heroes in that movie. We've gotten into our personal history, but I was more thinking of the fact... The behind-the-scenes history. This was based on an erotic novel by Anne Rice under what was her? Anne Rampling. Anne Rambling was what she wrote it under.

Because she was collaborated with Charlotte Rambling on it. Yeah, and because, you know, her works are ramping up your boners. Ramp that thing up. That's what they say at strip clubs when the Lenters are going to come out. Gentlemen, ramp up your boners. Ramp up your boners. Here's Jade. The movie Jane.

We're going to show it to. Set up the screen. Set up the screen. Maybe don't wrap up your boners yet. We got to set off the screen. HTML one. HTML one. Guys, guys, come on.

Input, press the input button. You know what? Don't ramp your boners yet. I don't want you to waste any. Yeah. So turn motion smoothing on. But the Anrise novel. The Anwryst novel is...

Here it's smoothers, the strip club that just shows you movies with the motion smoothing on. So nasty. And that smooths down your boner. Yeah, yeah. We wanted to look like kind of in-storic security camera video.

Yeah. Yeah. There should be no weight or heft to any objects in the movie. It's just to be super smooth, super fast. Yeah, yeah. Now I have not... Now ramp up your boners. I have not read this novel, but is my understanding that is a straightforward BDSM erotic...

My understanding from reading the Wikipedia entry is that it is about a mistress on a sex island who falls in love with a guy there and she has to choose between her professional. of being a mistress or giving herself up to this guy, and that none of the story of jewel thieves being chased by undercover cops, which is so prominent in the film, that is in the novel. Arguably the narrative thrust. The sexiest director of Hollywood.

The sexiest director in Hollywood, Gary Marshall got his hands on this, and I believe he added all of the crime stuff, the goofy crime stuff. To be fair to Gary Marshall, who at this point, you know, is probably best known for his holiday movies, and perhaps as being the creator of Happy Days,

which is not a holiday, happy day, but it is a... It's a day still, yeah. Yeah. Now, he had, I think this was just right after Pretty Woman. Yes. Which is pretty sexy material for him. It's about a call girl. And so I feel like he was like, how do I ramp it up?

But is it's a... Rampling it out. They make sex comments. It's a famously sanitized version of sex work. Even a sanitized version of the original script for the movie, you know. But that was my understanding from what we're reading was that Rosie, I don't know. kind of didn't want to do the movie. And her representation was like,

this guy just did Pretty Woman. This movie's going to be a huge hit. You've got to do it. And was she coming off a league of their own or? Probably. Okay. I think that checks out about right. Yeah.

But I think Gary Marshall was probably like, you know what? I was too tame and pretty woman. Time for me to get a little wild. But then he ended with exiting the tamedest movie about BDSM that I can imagine. The light spankings and the weird. It's like if secretary was mostly about actual office work. That's what this feels like.

Yeah. Yeah. The main way that this is a sex movie is there are a lot of just random boobs running around. Yeah. And by a lot, I would say, that's being a little generous. There's a lot compared to a modern-day non-sexy movie. That's true. Compared to movies from the 80s or 90s, though, it is what's known as SBQ or standard boob quotient. Dana and Blaney are.

Our romantic lead is naked a few times. He gets a few sex scenes. And then there's just a lot of people in the background on sex island, like, wandering around with... That's the Mr. Skin Report with Dan McCoy. I'm just defending my... You're a surgeon, yeah. Anyway. Okay, like all sexy movies, this one begins in Melbourne, Australia.

With a child and a maid. We're a child and a, I'm going to say, provocative, slightly provocatively dressed made. I would say, she's wearing a very low-cut outfit. Yeah. Sure. She, she, he, you know, he gets in trouble and she gives him a spanking, which initially you think is a punishment, but you see on his face, he likes it.

And you can also, like, this is what tells you it's a movie of the time, because it needs to explain the idea that someone might enjoy being spanked in an erotic way. Like, there's just like, oh, the audience has to be set up for this. They can't, it just can't be like a thing that he likes. We have to have a reason. There must be an origin story. There's got to be the moment when he's bitten by a radioactive spank. I mean, I think movie, like most movies nowadays would also do the same thing.

I'm not sure about that. You got to give everyone an arc for their butt and butt spank. I mean, they have to give them an arc, but I think the movie is so of its time in that, yeah, the idea of any sort of like non-missionary sex play is considered so out of the ordinary and shocking that like, yeah, they have. to provide an origin story for him to enjoy this aspect. So much the movie is like people explaining like sex to Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd and then being like, what? And it falls into the category of it is a movie that for its time seems like a liberal progressive movie because the people involved in this stuff are not like every now

they're like, yeah, well maybe it's okay for people to just like whatever they like. But the Dan Aykroyd and Rose O'Donnell characters are so, yeah, they're so like, oh, what is this? And by the end of it, Rosie Donald's like, you know what? Maybe sex is okay. Yeah. Dan Aykroyd gets a vibrator for his ex-wife, maybe. He gets like a real wife.

Donna Dixon. Yeah. He gets a big ass like Hattonchi Wong. He's not playing around. He's not playing. He's a lot of best. It's like the movie. The movie is clearly on the side of people.

The Atari game. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I'm Blaster Bean. Get me to the end of the maze. That was a mini game. and leasershoot Larry. Yeah.

The, the, the, I feel like that's, that's the video game that a grandma gets for their kid, not realizing what's actually going on it. I know. Clearly the movie is on the side of people should be able to do what they like if they're not hurting somebody else.

But to get there, they have to express such, such, you know, bizarre, what's it called? Bizarre shock at what's happening. Yeah. That it comes off as the opposite of that. Like a certain amount of lazy disdain and shtick. Yes.

Yeah. Okay, so let's get into it. So, yep, as we said... So starts in Melbourne with the origin story. Starts in Melbourne, and then 20 years later, we meet up with what we assumed to be that same young boy. It would be amazing if it was not the same character. He's from Strictly Ballroom, and he confusingly shares a... The actor shares a name with an old co-worker of ours.

Yeah, yeah, he does. And he also shares a character name with me. Yeah, yeah. The character's named Elliot. He shares a name with someone we used to work with, and he is now, he's been an Australian legislator for a number of years now. He's a member of the Australian Parliament. And as we'll later learn,

totally caked up. That's what Danny the lady likes about him. Dragging a wagon. And his character's name is Elliot. It's Elliot Slater. I will refer to him exclusively as Elliot, just to confuse everyone with the fact that we also have a co-host named Elliot.

So Elliot here is talking to his therapist, played by, as listed in the credit. It's as usual, Hector Elizondo. That's how you know it's a Gary Marshall movie because Hector Alessandro is in it. But I love, yeah, the Hesla says, as usual, Hector Alizando, as I'm like, you know he's coming everybody.

This guy's got to be here. Yeah, granted, when I saw that, I started pumping my fist in the air. Yeah. I will say, Hector Lanzondo is the one character in it who I feel has genuine erotic intensity when he talks. Yeah. Not in a way that I like necessarily.

Yes. But especially compared to like Dana Delaney, who I think is great, but her performance in this, never gets across the idea that she is in touch with her erotic passions. She feels sort of like, you know, like a mom. Yeah. Suburban mom who's, you know, read an Anne Rice book, maybe.

So, again, we meet up with Elliot Slater. He's talking to his therapist who has a specialization in sex and kink, played by Hector Elizondo. And they're talking about how Elliott has had difficulty all his life maintaining a serious relationship. and it's clearly due to some kind of unadmitted kink or passion. An unslakeable thirst. And it's kind of implied that when he tells people about this kink, they reject him. You know, then they go, oh, that's outrageous. As we'll learn later on, it is being lightly tapped on the buttocks,

which is one of the easiest kinks, I feel like, to do. You can stumble into that pretty easily. You can accidentally fulfill that kink by just being in a crowded store. I mean, you see a butt, you know. It's the first thing you think about, right? Yeah, yeah. Right? Dan, this is one of those times where I feel like you assume that a feeling you have is a universal feeling.

Like, he could just join like a baseball team or something, right? That's true. It's true. Any sports team, yeah. He's going to get tapped on the butt at some way. And I will point out that this character is supposed to be, you know, his character is from Melbourne and he lives in L.A. Which is ironic because this Elliott on this process is from Milburn. That is ironic.

That is ironic. It is very ironic. Add that to the show notes. That's the trivia section, please. So I was just going to say that his accent, I find very interesting because it does sound like somebody with an Australian accent trying desperately not to have one. My guess is that they told him dial it back because people will need to understand what you're saying. And we don't trust them, you know. Okay.

So we also learn when he's talking to his therapist that he has already submitted an application to go to this resort. This sex island that we'll later learn is called Eden. Oh, right. Where he will participate in this, that will theoretically help him with his, his, like, therapy. Yes. But first, he has to go on a, he's a photojournalist and he has to go on an assignment. And the movie picks up with him coming back, arriving at the, what, San Diego airport? I'm not sure.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm just laughing because I'm remembering the scene already. And I'm not laughing with delight at it. I'm laughing at how dumb things are in the scene. So he comes back from South America. This is where we have a scene where going through customs, they're specifically saying U.S. citizens that side, aliens on that side. And I'm like, that's a weird thing to say.

I know that's technically correct, but I have not ever heard that in the wild. It sets you up for the men and black sex movie that we don't get. Yes. Where humans are having sex with aliens? Where's that movie, huh? When are we going to cross that tab? I mean, I 100% think it exists, Elliot. At least in comic book form.

Yeah, yeah, but that's not a movie. Flesh Gordon counts. I don't know. Flip the pages of that comic book really quickly, Elliot. It does kind of become a movie. That's true. That's true. That's a good point.

Okay. So while he's at the airport. I guess possession is that movie where a person's having sexual alien. About to be remade. So we're going to, yeah. Why? That is like such a, I mean, it's so tied to like personal trauma and like a vision. Why would you, there's not like anything in that plot really?

Sam Neal's still going to be. No. I don't remember. It's out there. Everything's going to get remade at some point. Yeah. Okay. Because that IP is so valuable to the audience out there.

Like, oh my God. So while they made, they made train dreams, which is based on a dream a train head. Like, they'll make any movie now. That's amazing. No, no. You didn't know the trains dreamed before that. It was just a dream about being on that one island that Thomas the Tank engines on. It's called Eden, I think.

Thomas the Stank. I guarantee you there's like fetish where Thomas the Tank Engine art out there must be. Well, the fetish is being narrated by the Thomas narrator while you do it, yeah. Okay. So while at the airport, Elliot... The magic round of butt. That's for Dan. Elliot inadvertently...

Oh, the Elliot in the movie. Yeah. Takes photos of a pair of elusive diamond smugglers. One of whom has never been photographed. One of them, Omar, has never been photographed. The other one, Nina, played by Iman, has been photographed because she's a huge supermodel. She's married to a famous guy. She is introduced, dressed up in drag.

And I'm like, there is, you cannot, no amount of simple, like, wigs will disguise. Even her mustache? He also, like, Elliot takes pictures of her while she's, like, sneezing. And she's like, what do you do? And like, which is weird. It is weird. Yeah, it's weird.

And she's like, don't worry, I'm a photographer. But he's taking these pictures just sort of like, he's got his like camera down on his hip just sort of like clicking off. He does not look like he's. Yeah, because it symbolizes a penis, down.

Making good photos. But then part of the diamond smuggling is a switch off that involves the baggage claim. And he's like leaning into the baggage area taking pictures. And it's like, what are you doing? Yeah, calm down, dude. I will say this, though, that. Do you love this movie?

Yeah, it's great. Anyway, I don't remember what I was going to say. Let's go on it. I had something and I forgot it. So after this little bit of excitement, we now cut to a strip club. Boy, is it exciting? I was on the edge of my scene.

Reach this fever pitch again for a while. I had to pause the movie and catch my breath. Yeah, yeah. From the intensity of this scene. It's like the end of the first 10 minutes of Fury Road. You're like, oh, I need this break, everybody. Okay, so we now, enter the dark layer of a strip club

where there's a police sting operation going on where Dan Aykroyd who plays Fred and Rosie O'Donnell who plays Sheila are a pair of police officers who are undercover and they are busting this diamond smuggling ring that is tied to Nina and Omar. So we get a little bit of stripping. It's a little sexy. Well, and they're doing this by

Akroyd is the strip club DJ and O'Donnell is a... Is a dancer. She's just like sort of like half-heartedly dancing around, not taking her clothes up because that's not her job. She's like undercover cop. Dan felt like he needed to warn anybody who was watching the movie in the hopes that they would see Rosie O'Donnell take her clothes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the point is just like, why do they have to be workers at the club? Why can't they be undercover as visitors to the club? They need them to let down their guard, Dan. And also I'll give them this. It's a comedy movie. Sure. So you want to put these characters in situations they're not comfortable with.

But by police, logistics standards, you're right. Those are not the roles you want them to be in. Where is she going to keep her gun when she's supposed to be a stripping? I mean, she pulls it out from her like feather boa. Oh, that's right. I think if I got any laughs out of it, I would take that explanation. But in the absence of laughs, I had a lot. Yeah, so there's a little bit of, you know, there's a little bit of attempted humor in the, in the process.

This should be shelved in the attempted comedy section. video store. There's a, in the, in the, what, the excitement, Nina, the smuggler, manages to shoot one of the guys that they're after. Some of this stuff is kind of confusing

for me, and I watched it twice. Meanwhile, Elliot, he boards a boat to go to Eden with other people who have paid to volunteer, I guess. And I assume he's paid also. He is paid.

as they mentioned that later on his payment is refunded. That's right. But he is with a group of people who have paid to spend a week at Eden, and during that time they are citizens of Eden, which is their term for submissives. Yes. But they do specify that while you're on Eden, everything is a – you still have to give consent.

Yeah, it still has to be consensual. But they're told this by the Eden middle management who are all dressed like members of Abba or like lion tango. They all have like white, bright white kind of circus costumes. The sexiest outfits you can think of. I must have missed this speech because I remember later on in the movie being like, wow, for a, you know, a kink island with a kink resort, they are playing fast and loose with consent. Like, Elliot doesn't want to go up on stage later on to like dance around and show his wares and like, no, you got it. They're like literally like pushing him on stage even though he's like saying no.

Oh, no. I mean, they give the speech and then they also go against those rules. They ignore. And they just balls. And I wonder, I think it's, they do not set up, here's the thing. They don't set up safe words, or at least we don't see it. Because him saying no could be part of that scenario for him unless he says his safe word. And this is why everybody always have a safe word.

And your safe word shouldn't be no because then it gets confusing. Established boundaries. Your safe word should be something like Dutodon that you normally wouldn't say during sex unless you do dinosaur. Someone out there. dinosaur like, I'm sorry, Demetronons are not dinosaurs. I apologize. Everybody, you know what? I tender my resignation.

I can no longer really act as a Flop House host after what I've done. Oh, wow. I mislabeled a Demetrodon as a dinosaur. And you know what? Due to public outcry, I will stay. I will receive my resignation. That's a real rollercoastro. A long national nightmare is over.

But anyway, safe word. I was going to encourage, you know, someone out there, make Flop House your safe word. Just for fun. It would take a me. I don't know if this is such a good idea. Tiggle me. This sounds like the best possible moment for Dan to give some more information on the Max Fun Drive. Oh, thanks, Stuart.

Yeah, sure. What a little rancster. Before we get back to the sexy Dan Aykroyd in handcuffs antics, let me tell you a little bit more about how the Max Fund Drive works and why listeners support is important. How does it work? Let's start there. Go to Maximumfund.org.

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I know. Have we gone insane? And yet people will be confused by it even so. At $5 a month, you get access to the full library of Max Fund bonus content, hundreds and hundreds of hours across all the shows on the network. And this is a good time to say, what is the flop house going to do for bonus content this year? Yeah.

I'm glad I asked me, this year, it's all about the Transformers. No matter what, no matter what, we are committed to watching and discussing the original animated Transformers. Transformers the movie. Transformers the movie from 86. Michael Bayes Transformers from 2007. What's where a Transformer P's on John Torturo, right? I don't know if it's in that one, but it's in one of them.

I mean, that's the promise that any Transformers movies makes. And also the recent computer animated Transformers 1 from 2024. Those three were going to do no matter what. However, however, listen to this. The Plop House makes it to 1,600 new or upgrading members. We will record two more episodes covering Transformers. Revenge of the Fallen and Transformers Dark of the Moon. And if we make it all the way to 2,000 new or upgrading members,

that will unlock the gold mine of four additional episodes, A's of Extinction, which will be a rare flop house revisit, The Last Night, Bumblebee, and Rise of the Beast. Yeah, cog man, cog man. You can have it all, at least if by all you mean, Transformers movies. But that's just this year's bonus content. If you're a member at that level, you have access to all the old bonus content. Like last year when we did six role-playing episodes where Game Master Stu led me, Elliot, and Jubin

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Google Studio. But, but that's the stuff that I think that listeners will still want to hear. Uh, they'll not be any more, uh, corporate sponsors at the $10 ad free member feed. So, um,

that's a new thing that we're offering that I, I'm very excited about. And there are higher levels, of course, with other thank yous. But I'll just say for now, please join us as a member at $5 a month or more. head to maximum fund.org slash join, where you can join monthly at $5 a month or more or opts to pay up front for a whole year of support

and then when your year's up, it'll revert to monthly unless you choose to pay up front for another year. That is maximum fun.org slash join. And now back to exit to Eden. Force us to watch Transformers movies. So while, so on board the boat to Eden, we see the other people who have signed up.

They're all generally kind of youngish people, but we do have, we do get a good joke about an old man who boarded the wrong ship thinking he was going to a golf fantasy island where he was going to play with Lee Trevino as everyone else is undressing. I will say this is when we introduced my favorite character in the movie, Reba, the multiple time

Eden attendee who cannot stop talking to people even when important announcements are being given. It's really funny though that every time she just, like, it's not like she's being really disruptive, but she's just talking a little bit and one guy's like, shut up Reba, and I'm like, you know, Reba's a single single. mom works too hard and she loves her kids and she'll ever stop.

Yeah, it's that Riba, huh? Giving Anz and heart of a fighter. Loves Riva. She's a survivor. Okay, so can you guys, and they arrive at the island, can you describe the island at all for our listeners? Do you want me to? I mean, it's like a tropical island. It feels like a kind of regular resort except people are wearing Togas and.

And they have to like paddle their own canoes to get to the island. The citizens do. And then they have to like, like, wear chains? For a second, I was like, at other resorts, do you not usually paddle your own canoe if you go canoeing, but I guess... I would assume at a sex resort, the hope is that you don't have to paddle your own canoe.

Oh, man. You know what I mean? But there's a real divide between the citizens and the... What are the other customers called? I think just guests. Guests. And the citizens, when they show up, it's like they're dressed like they're humans and planet of the apes, you know, and then except sexier, I guess.

Of course. If that's possible. Impossible. All of the citizens. are, you know, in the military helping us fight bugs because, you know, service... That's the only way to become a citizen

is military service in the world of Robert Heinlein and Starship Troopers. So then they go straight to the... Thank you, Ellie, for bailing me out of that nowhere. I knew what you were going with it. The citizens then have to put themselves on display one at a time for... It's not like an auction, but it's just...

They're just showing off. And this is when I found the one really genuine... or one of the few really genuinely offensive moments in the movie. I don't know if you guys noticed when there's a person of color who's on display. They immediately cut to the one person of color who is a guest of the island. And I was like, what is this? Come on. And all this, and this like meat market sequence is overseen by the operator of the island, Mistress Lisa, played by Dana Delaney, who is kind of like an overseer figure.

She wears what I would call the Joel Schumacher Batman version of Dominatrix Mistress wear. Not to get us into a weird area But we're talking about Exitin There's no way to not avoid it again. I do feel like having a non-person of a color At an auction Take a person of color Would have its own set of problems

So maybe they should have thought this whole thing I feel like there are larger issues With the movie that make this kind of thing Almost inevitable Because it is really It's trying to get across It feels like the Overall this movie

And I think you're right Dan, that's true But then I'd say put people of color in other places. Yeah, all over, rather than... Rather than just the one. But I think the movie is attempting to get across a very basic idea of dominant, submissive, erotic relationships,

but in a way that is afraid of actually getting into what is hot about those relationships. Gary Marshall can deal with. Yes, exactly. It really does feel a lot like your grandma has decided to tell a dirty joke but is when you walked into, the room and so has backpedaled and softened it so much that there's no longer a joke to it.

Yeah. Yeah. Like what, like this is the type of BDSM resort that like if you had to take your parents with you, it would be fine. It would probably be fine, you know. And there's like, you just hang out by the pool, guys. There's mentions every now and then that like sex is happening, but mostly what we see is people just walking around scantily clad, you know, or like people doing chores for

each other, you know, like I'm, this one guy is subservient to. He's been, like, assigned to Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, Tommy, you mean. Tommy, so he's almost like, can I get that for you? That was one of my favorite. What if I sleep at the end of your bed? One of my favorite bits of the movie was, yeah, her subservient. And, like, how she's just sort of not interested in any of it, but is, like, sort of tickled that someone's doing things for her.

She's like, oh, this is nice. And she both, like, denies him, but is also like, it's kind of funny. You're a nice guy. And, spoiler, they end up dating at the end. Yeah. Which was, I thought. I thought actually, like, maybe I was, my brain had melted by the point, but I thought that was genuinely sweet.

No, that is kind of nice, yeah. But I, it is funny, too, that, like, Rosie O'Donnell in this role, I have to say, like, there is kind of like a meta joke that you can't help but bring to where you're like, yeah, she's not interested in these guys. It's like, they all keep trying, and she's like, yeah, this is cute. Go away. Now, as you mentioned earlier, they have this kind of show off runway show. Elliot does not want to take part in it at first.

But then once they force him, he really hams it up. And he does something that I was confused by where he like sticks out his belly far, like it to try to like, he's not like showing, he's kind of showing off his muscles or whatever. He's like a bullfrog. And he's just like pushing his belly out like a bullfrog. Like he's like, look, I'm a pregnant guy. And I like didn't understand what was supposed to be like sexy about that. I think various animals in the wild, Elliot, perform kind of strange mating rituals.

That's true. It's a display. It's like, look how flat my belly is. This is the most I can get it out because I'll tell you something, Elliot. I could get my belly way further out than... No, I believe it, yeah. Yeah, their tongues would have been on the ground if Danny Boy McCoy was up there.

And now he is being very disruptive, but Mr. Sleasa, she can't help but be a little tumbled by it, right? And help get a little smile. Okay, meanwhile, back on the mainland, guys, Omar and Nina have been tracking Elliot and they tossed his apartment. They're trying to find the copy,

the only photo of Omar in existence. And they're unable to find in his apartment, so they track him to the dock. This guy, he was. wants the person that Thomas Pynchon relies on to get rid of his photos. And this guy, yeah. And Omar is kind of like a C-grade David Warner type. That's a good way to describe it, yeah.

So he, they track where Elliot's going. So Nina and Omar, they pose as guests of the resort so they can get Elliot and get that photo back. Meanwhile, Fred and Sheila deduce that there is also this photo, loading around of Omar, and they track Elliot, they find out where he's going, and they're like the only option here, we go undercover, and we use the honeypot of Elliot to trap Omar and Nina. It makes perfect sense. But they have to brush up on their BDSM knowledge first. Yeah, so we get some, you know, funny stuff of Dan Aykroyd putting on a gimp suit.

But again, let me, I mean, clearly the comedic elements of Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd, Though I would say misguided and misplaced, I don't think they're bad in it. No. I think they're doing what they need to do with bad material. They are talented comedic actors. I think Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell both come out well from this movie. I think they're the best things in it, but it's a bad movie, you know. It's like a weird fit.

And the, yeah, I mean, and the, and the, and the whole, there's moments where Rosie O'Donnell does some, like, narration. Like, she's like a... She's like, meanwhile, we went to the island. figure out what was going on with so and so. The craziest case of my career, like she's an old-timey gum shoot, right? I couldn't, you know, from looking into it, I couldn't find, like, particular information of, like, oh, like, reshoots, rewrites, whatever it is. But, like, this really feels like the sort of narration that you stick in.

We're like, okay, we need to cover up all the editing we did, trying to save this movie, trying to, like, make it shorter and, like, only have the stuff. What if it's like Blade Runner and the director's cut is a masterpiece? Yeah, yeah. To me, although this is my hot take on Blade Runner, I kind of like this original cut. I like the director's cut. I like the narration.

I think it hurts that I have no idea what the hell is going on in the director's cut. Yeah, it's like a noir movie. It's perfectly, like, makes sense for there to be narration. Well, this is kind of a noir movie, exiting, right? Yeah, so. Well, her narration is very Dragnet-style, which is funny since...

Like Thursday morning. We went over here. We did this thing. Time to find out, you know. So, Friday morning, at breakfast. Oh, and Sheila and Fred are, they go undercover. In this case, Sheila goes undercover as a guest of the island.

Fred goes undercover as a maintenance man. And they, of course, have to meet with Hector Alizando first to, like, I don't know, get snuck onto the island or something. Yeah, I think they, to be, they can't, I think they can't go without his permission or something. Or they don't want to pay for it. And we get a little bit of extra like Hector Alizando, so I'm not mad about that. Yeah. Hector Alizando, it's like the, I feel like the vibe I'm getting from him is,

a Bond villain's younger brother who didn't go into the Bond villain business but instead was like I still want to do something a little Utre or like a salon owner or it reminds me of what you said before like yeah like he does weirdly have more erotic intensity

than anyone else in the movie but I don't want that out of him just because I'm so used to him playing a certain type of character mostly in Gary and Marshall movies so it feels very strange It feels like if like your jolly uncle suddenly got really. I mean, Dan, your jolly uncle has sexual tribes too.

No, I know. Hector Alizano's character looks like he would go to the performance art pieces that Willem Defoe's girlfriend to live and die in L.A. Oh, sure. And he'd go, very nice. Very nice. With his buttoned down shirt buttoned all the way to the top, no collar. No collar. No collar, no tie, nothing, yeah.

Okay. So, L.A. is initially resistant to the rules of Eden, and that puts him on like a weird work detail where he's like running around the thong, like going under waterfalls and carrying stuff around, but he still manages to keep catching the eye of mistress Lisa as she like goes from seminars to teach women

how to dirty talk to other sort of like nude sculpture things. And I mean, maybe you'll get into this later on, but there's like a weird seminar that's like, to me it really reminded me of nothing more than going to like, one of Elliot's favorite places, the Natural History Museum. Oh, that is one of my favorite places. Where they, like, walk past all these, like, essentially, like, living human dioramas. These are sexual fantasies you could have.

Their sexual fantasy showroom? Yeah. What do I have to do to put you in a sex in the elevator today? But they're also, like, extremely simple fantasies again. It's just like, some people like the idea of having sex with their boss. And it's like, okay, great. Not just having sex with your boss. The boss is the one being done.

The secretary dominates the boss. And one is like, sex with a stranger. You never even knew his name. But there's like a woman with a clipboard who's walking from scene to scene. And they're all like, oh, yes. And even the seminars are more like consciousness raising groups, you know? There's a lot of like, there was in, I was like, tell me, how do you become a mistress? You go to mistress school?

And she's like, let me tell you the story of how he became a mistress. And it's like, it seems more like, we're just going to get together and we're going to to talk about, you know, where we can, like, there's nothing sexy about. It feels like a sexy book club. It feels, this movie is less erotic than book club. And I mean, I'm surprised that there isn't like a scene where there's a seminar put on by like a sex toy manufacturer and they're just like, they're doing like Mary Kay

cosmetics. What I'd love to see is, do you guys remember when Dick Di Bartolo, Mad's Maddest Writer, used to go on like the Today Show or Good Morning America and show like new electronic gadgets that you can buy at Sharper Image or Hammock or Slimmer? Like, that's what I wanted to see. sex toys, you know? Oh, Dan, you would have loved these segments. But like, I want someone like then you got this thing. Look at what it does. Okay, boy. Now we move on to the next one. But they don't do that. Instead, it's all very like, it's very soft. It's very soft. It's like easygoing.

So he has a vacation. Yeah, so Lisa does take an interest in Elliot and she tries to break down some of his walls. There's a scene where she makes him get down on all fours and then she sits on his back bare bottom. Oh. Oh, that's so sexy. She goes, I'll let you feel what you wanted to see, which is a very, it's just a funny way to put. Like, she, Dana-Eleney has a lot of trouble, and I like her a lot, she has a lot of trouble saying the dialogue that is supposed to be mistress dialogue,

I think mainly because it's not very well-written. But, you know, it's hard to get, it's hard to do it and feel like it's not silly. And I think the main thing about that character is she has to be like, she shouldn't come off as silly, but she, it's hard not to, you know, and so, and, you know, our villains and our cops have also entered the island. It's very funny to me that Amman's character, Nina, is like undercover, and she's like

the most striking, she's wearing the most extreme outfits. She is going out of her way to be noticed. Like, she's, like, walking off a fucking Mugler runway or something. And she feels like that character should have been, like, Mistress Lisa. Like, she feels like a Mistress Lisa character. She would have been an incredible... She would have been an incredible Mistress Lisa because she's, like, so naturally dominating and mean, And to see a character like that broken down by love, you know, and struggling with it.

Like, that's what Dana Delaney. Dan Alany doesn't surprise me as a character who was falling in love because she already seems very emotional. You know, or not emotional. She seems very like not, like there isn't a persona that she's putting forward, you know. This, you know, falls. Very vulnerable. I guess what I was it. She already seems vulnerable.

Falls victim to the 50 Shades disease a little bit where it's like, it seems to be, like, pathologizing the fact that she has any kinks. The idea seems to be that she's doing this because she can't love. She always wants to have control. It seems to be like her reaction to her mother's death is a need for control. Which we learn through some backstory that's prompted

by Rosie O'Donnell's character. But she still keeps in touch with her dad, right? Yeah, but he's like, that was a really, that was a weird scene where like after her mom's death her dad's like, okay, see you later. I was like, what is this element? What is this LMAK? Yeah.

Exit to Ella. What would that movie have been like? I mean, there'd be a lot more sex scarves. Gosh darn it. I'm going to run the best greatest sex island there ever has been. Don't you understand? We could be doing better for people's kinks.

So a lot of this stuff is... Tootters and tit tutors. Rosie O'Donnell's character, Sheila, is basically going to places and like doing bits the whole time. Like making jokes, asking like questions. Which I think when I saw this in the theater at age 16, I'll be honest,

I was probably mostly interested in, like, the nude scene. Probably. But, and like the O'Donnell stuff annoyed me this time around. I'm like, this is what I love is that she just, like, feels like she walked in from offset and it's just like, I'm going to heckle this movie a little bit. I think it helps her performance that it feels like she is like, what the hell is this movie? Like, what did I get into? Yeah.

And Dan Ayroyd's character is undercover as a maintenance man. And the whole time he's just working. And I think that's kind of funny. But I wish they played that up more where, like, they're like, hey, can you help me do this thing for the case of like, oh man, they got me working all day. I like clean out the fucking cum traps in the jacuzzi. And one of the things that Dan Aykroyd does better than any other performer maybe in history is say technical specs and very specific information in a funny, articulate way.

So I wish there was more of that kind of stuff. But he's talking about, you know, yeah, whatever equipment they're using at the island and things like that. But I also like the idea that's introduced a little later that he has been turning heads around the island. Like people are intrigued by this maintenance guy. I don't like this because it's unprofessional. to get a physical from the island doctor

and when she tests him for what hernia she makes a comment about how big his penis is and from that point on everyone in the island is calling him big boy and I'm like that's unprofessional. The doctor told everyone there this guy's a big dick. Up until that point that doctor had been the

tonic of the paragon of the hypocritical but I do feel like something comedically could have been done more with that I was like he's like the hyperotic of uninterested in it and you know takes the job as the maintenance person because he's so uninterested

and all the sex stuff, but everyone is chasing him. And he's, and he has, like, a couple moments where he's, like, narrating into a tape recorder about the psychological effect it's having on him to be, like, surrounded by sex. And, like, all that stuff, yeah, could have been funnier if they made more, like, if the character, if the movie was about him, like, they'd have done more with that character and made it funnier, yeah. Okay, so. The idea of everyone who's trying to have sex with me, he's like, I just have, I'm a cop, I just have a job to do.

And they're like, yeah, I like that fantasy. Let's keep going with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, you don't understand, it's real. That scene doesn't happen. Yeah, so like, there's some bits. Sheila befriends her sub, Tommy, who's, like, doting on her and trying to suck her toes and also do nice things for her.

I'm just going to briefly mention that Tommy's subs is definitely a place in New Jersey. Yeah, I'm sure it is. And everyone, like all these characters, are all trying to get Elliot alone, but it's hard because he's on a work detail or Mistress Lisa has this guy run all over the place. I know something about Elliot.

He works too hard. That's was, this is one of the few times where it's the Milburn, Melbourne thing, and also that Elliot is just working too hard. He has too many jobs. We learn Lisa's backstory. There's some dead mom trauma coupled with like a little bit of stuff about her learning on how to be a sub and also how to be a dominant from Hector Alizando. She says the best submissives become the best dominance, which is that true?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm not deep enough in that culture. But I mean, I guess it's possible. Anything's possible. Is that true? Elliot, for some reason you said that that really reminded me of the Chris Farley show. And he's like, talking to Paul McCartney's.

You said, and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. And it's like, yeah, dude, Chris, is that true? Okay, so this is where we have a pivotal, almost climactic scene between Elliot and Mistress Lisa, where he first helps her bathe. And then she... This is one of the funniest cliches of erotic movies, which is the man shaving the woman's legs, which seems to be one of the least sexy things that you could do. Except for in cabin fever.

I would, I'll be honest, I would be terrified that I would, you know, cut the woman. I don't want to do that. I don't like shaving my own face with a safety razor. You guys aren't into knife play? That's fucking weird. Not something I'm into, yeah. Okay, well, um. But you see this in many erotic movies.

You don't put on a screen mask and participate in knife play. You guys are fucking weird. I guess I'm a real day in acroyd. I'm too uptight. Yeah. You do have the same first name. True. True.

Okay, so this is the scene where Elliot allows himself to be... A real day and afraid he gets high on you. He doesn't do the selfies. He allows himself to be chained up in the middle of the room, stripped naked. Not chains, those are ropes. Okay. Put an eye mask over his eyes. Casey wants to sleep.

And then Mistress Lisa begins lightly paddling his butt-up. with a hairbrush, which he immediately is resistant to. He keeps saying no, no, no. And I'm like, okay, guys, maybe stop. Yeah. And Dana Delaney, by the way, she, like, she, like, talks about how much she likes butts. And I'm like, same girl.

Dan, no really seen. Can't have Dana without a Dan in there. I will say this is the one moment that feel, there's only one line in this that feels real to me. And it's when she says, I give you permission to like this, which feels like it is the therapy that he needs. And it was like, oh, movie, if you had followed that thought, that what she is doing is not awakening something in him that he doesn't know about or whatever.

But this situation gives him permission to admit what he likes, which is kind of what they're getting at. But I feel like they don't hit it hard enough, you know. Ultimately, in story like BDSM stories, that is kind of like the key, keystone. It's the idea of being able to learning how to admit what you actually want. Yeah, to accept your own desires. Yeah. Wow, that, I feel like we should throw an enigma soundtrack on me. Okay, so shortly after there's a lot of like, everybody's trying to get Elliot alone,

and then there's this high stakes. Tell me about it. There's this high stakes rollerblade race. This is when I feel like the movie ran out of things to do. They're just like, I don't know, there's a rollerblade race. And now we learned that Elliot, we had already learned that Elliot is an accomplished roller skater. because his submission video for the island involved him on roller skating. That's his good screenwriting.

This is good screenwriting. Which I'm like, hell yeah, this guy knows his greatest asset. Choose me for your sex island. Your audition video should include raw, vulnerable, sexual appeal. And also, what are your special skills? Do you have any tricks? Talent. Our talent show.

Okay, so Elliot wins the race. No, there's one guy who submitted his sex application video who does impressions. Yes. A little stand-up. After winning the race, it starts getting some attention from a woman, and that makes Mistress Lisa jealous. And she kind of claims him for herself,

and it causes a little bit of a hullabaloo. And it also makes, it kind of makes her look lesser in the eyes of her co-workers. Yeah, but it saves him from Omar. Yeah, saves him from getting blasted by Omar. Meanwhile... Now, when you say blasted.

Omar is the evil diamond smuggler, so he would most likely kill him. Oh, okay. Not Omar from the wire. No, no. Also would blast people. You always know when he's coming, though, because he whistles the farmer in the down. Okay, so at this point, this is where we get the montage, where Sheila tries on, like, a BDSM, like a bondage fetishwear outfit, leather outfit.

And she looks like a lady Rob Halford. She kind of steals Elliot away from Nina, who is dressed up kind of like one of the characters from the Persona 4 video game. And she... I'll take your word for it. And then she's like leading him away But before she can explain to Elliot What her real mission is Mrs. Lisa has her to...

It has Elliot taken away And this is where we get the scene That was key to the trailer Where a guy says Let me, you know, fulfill your fantasy And she says, paint my house Brings the house down, everybody cracks up Except I learned from the Irishman

That painting houses means you're a hit man My God. Wait, what? Yeah. That's what he was doing? You thought the Irishman was about a guy who paints houses. Yes.

You got the Irishman mixed up with the war with grandpa, a different romance in your own movie where he is a contractor who builds houses. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What if that was the same character? What if? After years to being a mom, hit man, he has to move in with his grandson. I mean, the character from the Irishman dreams to have that close to a relationship with his family.

Yeah, it's true. Considering it ends with, yeah, him alone and his daughter never talking about him again. I mean, honestly, that would make it a lot funnier. It would make an Irishman a lot funnier. Sure. We're also war with Grandpa. Like this kid is bedeviling this hitman. That's true.

I mean, but no, I would love if the Irishman ended with the war with Grandma. Somebody's got to make that super cut. It's a four and a half hour movie where the Irishman ends with him having to move in with the son. It just says five years later. The War with Grandpa starts. That's like, I remember once a friend of mine told me about how his friend had edited all three Robocop movies into one movie. and I'm like, wow, what a feat. And I assumed that he had like interspersed the scenes.

Really, he had just taken one movie and then put a title said five years later and then played the second movie. And then it said like two years later. And then played the third movie, he had just got the credits off. Not as big enough achievement. Not a, what was, is it Will Wheaton who does that? Did Topa Grace? Did Topa Grace edit all the prequels into one movie?

Yeah. Wait, that's what Tover Grace did. He just put like five years later. No, no, no, he actually cut them together into the event. Okay, well. Okay. So at this point, Lisa realized that her relationship with Elliot is having a negative effect on her position on the island, which is very important to her core identity. So she has his stuff packed up, unfortunately, that evidence the role of film that has Omar's picture falls out of the bag.

Uh-oh. And she is sending Elliot away, and she is refunding his feet. his fee for being on the island. She's making him sail away, sail away, sail away, which I don't know if it was on the Pure Mood's album, but it should have been. I believe. I think maybe it was.

It was. Or Nico Flo? That was Young Elliot's Doing It Playlist. Yeah, that was Young Elliot definitely had a doing it play. Young Elliot was certainly doing it and doing it well. It was certainly a thing that young. That was on mine. Yeah, and also this is how we do.

Also on mine. You're doing it. CD was that monk, monk chant CD that was pretty pleased. It was actually a chipmunks chant CD. It's the same chance to hire. Christmas time is it. That's good as I slowly undid my robe. Yeah, another.

Your silk kimono falls to the floor. I just want a hoo la hoo. An altered falsetto. You show off your ceremonial katana. Yeah, exactly. There was a lot of, no knife play, but there was a lot of ninja play. Yeah, I love it. Okay. So, it was just you pretending to be different Ninja Turtles.

Yeah, I would be like, who are you going to be with tonight, Raphael? Oh, a bad boy. Do you want someone cool but rude or a party dude tonight? Yeah, exactly. Do you want sensitive Donatello or do you want dutiful will make you come but won't enjoy it, Leonardo? Mindillian, you don't know what you're going to get. You're going to have fun dutelo, or do. Maybe you'll have a great evening.

Maybe he'll just forget you're there. Either way, you'll leave him with a story. So let me put on the music. The music is the team and teethy. But like a slow, a slow kind of like a Barry White version. Okay. They're the world's most fearsome fighting team. Oh, yeah.

Well, that's more like a melting. Heroes in a half shell and a green. Okay, so Lisa tries to send Elliot away. Elliot stops her and he's like, look, I'm going to go to New Orleans. You should come with me. I'm going to go there no matter what. I'm going to go and do the most touristy fucking things New Orleans can offer. Rubba Ben-Yea.

She's resistant, but obviously there's a part of her that wants to do this. And she eventually decides to go with him. So Elliot convinced Lisa to join him on his Nola trip. Meanwhile, they've already left. And at this point, Sheila is trying to get some information on the hotel computer. Wherever Eden is located, it is just a hop to New Orleans. And San Diego. And San Diego.

It takes no time to get there. You can take a boat from San Diego to get there, but it also takes you no time to get to Nolins. Yeah. Nina then sneaks up and attack Sheila, so we get a little bit of, like, a fetish-ware fight between Amman and Rosie O'Donnell. Dan Aymehoyd stumbles in. He's like, oh, I'm sorry for interrupting. They're doing the part of the fight that involves them thrusting their hips against each other, which doesn't make sense as a fighting movie.

It's just a joke, everybody. But, jeez, uh, Amon is incapacitated, and they realize that Omar is already on his way to New Orleans, and he is going after Elliot and... Folks, we are deep into Act 3 now. Mm-hmm. So Omar tracks them down. They're having their, like, romantic touristy trip where they're just wandering around. They go see the jugglers on Burbber.

Street. He buys her a croissant and then licks butter off her boobs, you know, that's, yeah. The most sensual way, and I'm like, a croissant already has a fuckload of butter in a dude. You don't have to butter a croissant. Yeah, that's going to cause some farts, everybody. And the funny thing is is that the look on Dana Delaney's faces

is Dana Delaney's faces is lack of interest in anything but her breakfast. It's like they've been together for a day and already she seems to be over the magic of Elliot, yeah. And I'll tell you this movie, I've been there. Girls have gotten over the magic of Elliot very quickly. Okay, so Sheila and Fred also pursue Omar,

Elliot, and Lisa. They, Elliot and Lisa go on an antebellum mansion tour, where they find a secluded bedroom with one of those canopy beds and they have a romantic trist that is, I would say, like, diet Zalman. King? Yes. This whole movie feels very Zalman King light. By the way, if Zalman King had directed this, crazy time. I feel like

Crazy what? Crazy time. Certainly is Gary Marshall trying to channel his inner Zalman King and it's more of an inner Alan King. Oh. Okay. So Omar strikes while they are cleaning up he holds a

silence pistol to them and he demands the film. There's a scuffle in the fight. He chucks Dana Delaney out of a window, which is kind of crazy. That is crazy. Sheila then shoots Omar, but that's not enough. He almost takes her out before Fred shoots Omar, killing him in front of a whole bunch of people.

They show their badges. They are, they're like, don't worry, we're LAPD, which is a weird thing to do in New Orleans. Well, they might think L.A. stands for Louisiana. Yeah, that's actually true. Also, like, Akroyd gives like a speech that then, like, sort of like, fades out towards the and Rosie O'Donnell's narration took over. I'm like, I wonder what didn't work here that they had to cover. Okay.

This was an earlier time, though, when police officers shooting people in front of other people was considered just, you know, good stuff, you know, just part of the job, you know. At this point, they, you know, they're down at the police station in New Orleans. Lisa needs some time alone, and then she used that time alone to sneak back to the island and leave Elliott. Meanwhile, Fred's ex-wife or wife shows up and they rekindle their romance, which is, you know, that's nice. Sheila tracks down Elliott, finds out that Lisa has left him, and she says, look, I'm actually, I have to go back to the island to get that film. Why don't you come with me?

And he's like, okay. So they go back to the island. Elliot makes this big gesture, and he proposes marriage. He shows up in her room tied up again like he was on. on that magic night when she briefly slightly tapped his butt, but now he's wearing a tuxedo. And he proposes to get married and explains all those things like, hey, we can still be who we are, just we'll be together.

Yeah. It'll be in my vows that you can spank me. And then she's leaving, bumps into Tommy, who is her sub. And it turns out that he is actually a CEO that has businesses in multiple cities and that one of those businesses in L.A. where she's a police officer, and that he would like to take her out to dinner, which she seems surprised by, and then they kiss,

and then it turns out he actually has somebody paint her house, end of movie. Oh, exit. You did it. Exiting. Or exiting Eden. Now exiting, exit to Eden. Guys, what a movie.

What a picture. What a picture. It is. Mostly how I remember it from when I saw it again in the theater. It's funny, because, again, I saw it, I think on HBO, when I was also around 14 or 15. And it's amazing which parts of it,

I was like, oh, yeah. Because if you had asked me out, I would have remembered none of it. But there were parts of it was like, oh, yeah, I remember not understanding this at the time, and I still don't quite understand it. Yeah. Yeah. What I remembered about it was basically, uh, dated Delaney was hot, and the comedy didn't work. And how do you feel about it now? The same.

Oh, okay. So nothing has changed in the interview of years. None of your life experiences have been brought to bear on this anyway. Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing is great works of art change over the years. More works or less than once. Oh, yeah. I would say that this is probably final judgments time, Dan. Oh, yeah, final judgments.

Well, how does that go? It goes like this. Is this a good, bad movie? A bad, bad movie or a movie that we kind of like. Now, we should make sure, do you think the movie wants to be called bad? Does it get pleasure out of that? That's true. Because I don't want to give the movie pleasure.

Exactly, yeah. Is this kink being judged harshly? It's hard to say. Here's the thing. This is probably the time of the podcast where we should all talk about our own personal kinks. Yeah, let's go for it. Yeah. Like, I'm going to...

Giant test for Elliot, right? What? Giant test. Giant test. Just pick me up and put me in your pocket. Or honey. Or a giant test of the Doberville. I mean, I'm on the record.

Reading Tesla Derbervilles a few years ago was when it was that year was the most intense experience engaging with a work of art. And I had an entire year. Great book, Tesla Durvils. Highly recommend it. Maybe I'll actually. Super hot. Especially if she was bigger.

There's a reason they call him Thomas Hardy. Okay. It's actually who's bigger. It's called Giant Tess of the Derbervilles. I feel like she would have been able to get away with just stomping on people if she needed to. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what? I'm going to go bad bad.

Guarding Giantess? Oh, yeah. Bad bad? I'm going to go bad bad. I, because it is pretty boring. You would think that this would, like, this is like a. So, Dan, this didn't shock. or challenge you?

Well, you think that this was like this, like, sex comedy slash, I guess, BDSM drama, like, would be, you know, 90 minutes long. No, no, no. It's almost two hours long, despite feeling totally chopped up. I almost would recommend it to people who are fans of bad movies to watch as a bad, bad movie, just because it's so inexplicable. It is a very weird experience. A lot of people had to make the decision.

to make this movie. And I would, I would, this is, it's, I would, like, I want to read the book about the making of this movie. I'm more interested in the making of this movie at this point than I am in the, in the making of Star Wars. Maybe because I know more about that already. Yeah. Like, I want to know how this happened. Yeah, but I find it a little, a little too difficult to get through to go good, bad. And also, this is not a movie that is readily available.

If you want to run out and watch it, is not streaming anywhere. The DVD is out of print. We had to, you know, you know. You had to break into the Gary Marshall archives. Yes. Get his personal print. Yeah. So I'm letting you off the hook by saying you don't have to try and watch it.

But what do you guys think? Yeah, I mean, I think there's something kind of fascinating about how wrongheaded the whole thing is and how it does feel like movies that are kind of taped together. It is like shockingly unsexy, which is impressive. So, yeah, I'm going to say this is a bad, bad movie. I'm not like mad at it. I'm glad that I forced you guys to watch this movie and I'm glad that I am able to fill in a gaping hole in my cinema knowledge.

Really, I'm going to say bad bad also. Yeah, more because it is a tepid movie more than else. It is neither... Not hot. It's not hot. But it's also like it's not painfully offensive. It's not like horribly like bizarre. Instead it's just like, why did they make this movie?

Like why did they make it? And then when making that decision, Why did they, like, do it so, for lack of a better word, like vanilla, you know? Yeah, and I mean, obviously the, I'm sure there's a certain amount of offensiveness to the portrayal of kink culture, but I mean, it's so like, it feels like a, like grandpa doesn't understand sort of thing. That's the thing. It feels like grandpa doesn't, it doesn't feel like we're judging these people and it also doesn't feel like, let's get nasty. It feels like Grandpa doesn't understand, yeah. And it's, and that grandpa's name is Carrie Marshall.

A lovable guy. A lovable grandpa. It's like a bad movie that I am not. unhappy is hard to find because why would you watch it? But it's not so bad that I'm like, you've got to see this thing. I feel like my new benchmark for movies like that is the Ice Cube or the Worlds. And it is, you know, it's just, it's nowhere near it. You know, you got to see that movie.

It's so dumb. It's so dumb. You know what? This feels like a good time to talk a little bit about Max Fun Drive. I want to make the case. I want to make the case listeners for why listener-supported media is important. We are currently living at a time when The media landscape, quite frankly, sucks.

Consolidation of big studios and networks and production companies is reducing the number and kinds of things that get made. AI is slopping its gross anti-human, anti-artists, anti-environmental shit all over everything. And the government is trying to turn everything into state-owned puppet media. So I don't want to put too much weight on our silly show about bad movies, but I do think that these days the model that we represent is more important than ever. Our podcast is artist owned. We are under no pressure to do it a different way and we're affiliated with Max Fund through a handshake deal. We could walk away and retain our show, but we're with them because we want to be there and the portion of your membership money that goes to the network, it's going to a worker-owned collective. We're instead of all funneling to the top of some corporation,

max fund employees share in the company's decision-making and its profit. And if you're going to do business, I think it's just about the most ethical, creator-friendly way to do it in this capitalist society. And unfortunately, in a capitalist society, one way to express your voice is to choose where your money goes. And I know that I personally am a lot happier with my monthly support of Max Fund than basically any other company you can go to. And you know what?

It means more to us than it would to some fucking billionaire somewhere. So I know it's a hard time in the world. If your dollars need to go elsewhere, either as charitable giving or because your household needs to tighten its belt, believe me, I understand that. But if you have the means to, let's say, buy a fancy coffee once a month, consider supporting the shows you love starting at just $5 a month at maximum fun.org.org slash join. Max Fund Drive starts next. week. Max Fun shows like this one are creator-owned. The network is worker-owned, and we're all supported by members just like you. Max Fund Drive is the best time to support the shows you love. You can get Drive exclusive gifts, a bunch of new bonus content, and join in on the fun as shows

hit their milestones. Plus, we've got dozens of meetups and counting. We've got live streams and more. So stay tuned, because you don't want to miss it. Max Fund Drive 2026 is starting Monday. day, April 20th. I'm Jordan Cruciola, host of Feeling scene, where every week I have a different actor, director, or writer as my co-host. And whoever that co-host may be, it is a sure bet

that we are digging deep and having a great time doing it. I love that you just said that. Yeah, I mean, if I were going to join a cult, I think this might be it. A fresh look at your favorite film and a peek behind the curtain at how movies get made.

Oh, okay, I'm going to tell you this whole story. Okay, I almost got fired from that movie. You should be listening to Feeling Seen. And so much fun, I love what you're doing. I hope I did okay. New episodes every week on Maximum Fun. Let's move to Letters from listeners.

And I apologize. Letters. From listeners. Do... Oh, letters. Due to... Induction. Due to some...

Deception Listeners Due to some technical difficulties I just I cannot find the full letters but I have the questions

from the letters Technical difficulties testical difficulties No the technical difficulties are within my own brain I apologize to the writers of those letters

but I want to get their questions out there Yeah these questions are too important to hold back Yeah Here's one Who would you want to interview you out of anyone living or dead from the last 100 years or so?

Who would you want to interview you out of anyone living or dead from the last 100 years or so? Now, do you think this is like a public interview or a private interview? Like an interview with a vampire? I mean, that was kind of both, right? That was for public. But I mean, like, are they interviewing us like on a TV show or are they interviewing us like for therapy? I presume it's for public consumption. Consumption, yeah.

And who would interview us? Because at first I misread this as who would you want to interview the last hundred years? And I'm like, I already did it. Robert Caro. No, no. It's a 9% invisible breakdown. Who would you like?

Who do you think would do a good job at interviewing you? I'm so multifaceted. That's the issue. That's true. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty, it feels like just like log rolling for the network. But I do love Jesse Thorne's interviews. I think he is a great interviewer.

And I think that as someone who, knows me a bit personally, he could, he would be good for the task. Get you out of your shell, right? You know, he would know what's asking. As someone who has been interviewed by Jesse Thorne on Bullseye, you're right.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you are right, Dan. Yeah. I mean, I haven't been interviewed on Bullseye, but. But I haven't accomplished anything of no. No. You haven't written a book about farming anything.

That harming joke? No, let alone jokes. So I think, I feel like, I think of the late night talk show host, I think Seth Myers and I would get along the best. You know, he's a drinker, but like in like a good way, not a bad way, like somebody. Some other late night hosts. Yeah, like some other late night hosts. Yeah, that's all right. Or reasons of us not getting sued.

I think, I, oh, so say, say more about Seth Myers, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like he's got like a certain, he's got a certain Riz. Yeah, just like me. Yeah. And I'd say Larry King, because who knows. with that guy's guy's going. Does not know where he is.

I don't know. What's going in it? What's coming out of that mouth or what's going in his ears? So, yeah. There was a, I can't remember who the interviewer was, but it was on, it was on like the Tatay show where somebody was interviewing Anya Taylor Joy

and they're like, so you're going to be playing Joni Mitchell on a biopic. Now, you're also playing Princess Peach. How are those two people similar? I saw this. And the look on Yana Taylor Joy's face where she's like, okay, this is go top.

We got to figure this out of this. I've got to do this. Part of my job. It's so funny. It's so funny. Pretend this isn't. I think her response was. She's like, they're both

singular. Yeah. No, that's a good answer. Yeah. So, I mean, maybe if we were interviewed by Anya Taylor Joy, she could take some of that experience of

Oh, Jennifer Lawrence. My mistake. She's my favorite. That was a great. You saw the actors on actors that she did? Yes. Yeah, she was like.

She was, like, really, like, needling... Decapreo? Oh, I love it so much. Yeah. How do you see that? I haven't seen that. How do you see it? YouTube.

Oh, okay. I think, yeah, it was for variety or something. Yeah. And she was, like, specifically saying how great it was that he had a teenage daughter and how he looked so good to have a teenage daughter. It's like, you're online enough to know what you're doing, ma'am. No, like, Decaprio, like, his expressions were just like... It's like, eyes would, like,

like micro widen and he's like I don't know how to respond to any of this. I'm trying to maintain my like usual level of like enigma. Enigma? Yeah. The artist behind Return to Innocency.

Yeah. Oh, that's on his doing a playlist. He apparently listens to all according to stories. Not so, okay. But on headphones, right? Yeah, yeah, on headphones. Yeah, I don't know that she would get

good answers out of me because I'd be so discombobulated and thrown off. but it would be a great interview just for like... You'd enjoy it. Yeah. It's a story, you know. Because that's your kink to be put on the spot by Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah.

I mean, kind of. Here's another question. Oh, okay, sure. If we'll wait of a letter, I apologize. Thank you for writing in. So we have no context. So this could be answering this all wrong. I looked all over.

If I may have disappeared for the end part of Stewart's synopsis, it was because I was desperately trying to find the, original letters, I apologize. Just really seeking Susan, if Susan wrote this letter and asked this question. Here we go. It goes like this. Elliot's book, joke farming, is available now. Thank you for doing that plug for me.

Dan and Stewart, if you were to write a similarly titled book, what would you be farming? Elliot, what would you farm if not jokes? I'll tell you right off the bat. Chickens. All right, guys, what would you farm? Here's the thing. I was thinking about this and I was like, am I very boring? And I'm the asshole?

Am I the asshole, guys? Am I boring and limited? Because I felt like what I think I could write a good book about is farming the, like, wheat among the chaff of, like, things that are considered bad movies. Like, the interesting stuff out there within stuff that's usually dismissed. Because there's other stuff I can do. Like, I do a lot of cooking. I do a lot of drawing,

but I don't know if I can write a good book about those things. That's what I was thinking about. I bet you could. It just takes the energy, the motivation, the time, the discipline. So maybe you could. Classic joke construct. That's why I wrote the book.

Convincing yourself of something. Yeah, I feel like I'd write a book about power brokers or some shit. Oh, JK, J.K. Burn. Let's get a serious answer. I don't understand. Yeah, Byrne. You'll understand when you read your own joke book.

To give a serious answer, I feel like... I feel like... I feel like I could write a book about building a community within, like, a nerdy subculture. Either through like a gaming hobby or something like that or at a bar, because I'm kind of drawn to community building. If they asked me, I could write a book. Yeah. Hey, let's move on.

Why not? Sure. To recommendations. Sure. Movies that we've seen and enjoyed. I'm going to give a, this is going to be a qualified recommendation. Exit to Eden. Rare for Dan.

A qualified recommendation. I saw this at a weird Wednesday screening. Citizen Kane. It was a little movie called Pajama Party. And over the last several months, they've been screening one a month, the Beach Party series. Oh, okay. With Annette Finchello and Frankie Avalon. And this is sort of later into the series.

Frankie Avalon has a cameo in it. But the lead, the male lead is actually Tommy Kirk in this one. It's a Nett Finochella. The lesser Frankie Avalon. Yeah. Yeah. And Tommy Kirk. But, like, I had been, like, my friend Kirby was like, you, I'm seeing these movies and like, why?

Why? I know this is not the case, but I'm imagining the pink ghost from the Nintendo games. Yeah, yeah. I mean, is he a ghost? What is he if he's not a ghost? I mean, he's like a hunger spirit, I guess. Yeah, exactly. I went to see this, and I was delighted by how, like, the jokes were so fast and dumb that it bordered on surrealism.

and it felt honestly like it was a Zucker Abrams Zucker style parody movie except they were parodying It's like there's no like straight genre Of beach party movie that they're parody It's just like it feels like a parody for something that doesn't exist The caveat that I mentioned before is Buster Keaton is in this movie

I was gonna ask if that was the one Buster Keaton He is playing a Native American American character Yeah And it is the it is a 1960s version of a Native American character. It is... Sensitive. I would say it is not done with any overt malice,

but it is certainly a cartoon stereotype. I remember reading the book, the films of Buster Keaton and getting to this one. Yeah. I've never seen it, beginning of this one, being like, wait, what? There's one very funny scene he has that has nothing to do with him playing a native character.

But otherwise, I think if you chose to watch this, you could easily just fast forward through any scenes with him if it bothered you because he is extraneous to the plot. But it is a very zany movie. It is a movie about Tommy Kirk is a Martian. He's like the advanced man for an invasion. And Don Rickles is up on Mars like just like heckling him. It's not pretty great. And, you know, there's beat.

Don Rickles. He normally doesn't heckle people. Yeah. There's a wacky biker gang. eventually the titular pajama party happens and Annette Bunacello sings a song about there being a pajama party It's just very silly and I feel like we are due

for a parody of a beach party A beach movie right? Are we? When we were kids, yeah, we're due for it. I don't think anyone were doing. I think if you did it now, people would not know it was a parody

which might work in its favor. Yeah. They just think it was a weird movie. But I think, Dan, that it just makes me sad to hear that you're like this movie is hilarious except for the scenes with one of the pure comic geniuses of film. I know.

Poor guy. But like it was, it's a lot of funny, stupid gags and also watching it. I'm like, oh, this is like really the precursor to like all of the more overt 80s sex comedies that eventually were made. Like, this is the like innocent, silly version of something like hard bodies. Yeah, yeah. Screwballs, et cetera. Anyway. Miracle Beach.

Yeah. Miracle Mile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I am going to recommend, I guess, let's call it a qualified recommendation. Not really. I'm going to recommend a movie that Dan and I recently hosted a screening of at the Nighthawk Cinema. We were lucky enough to host a screening invited by past guest, Christina Cachioopo, part of her Ridiculous Sublime series.

One of, if not the top movie programmer in America. She's great. And her series, Ridiculous Sublime, is a lot of. such a treat. If you live in New York and you have a chance to go see any of these movies, it's such just like a fun time at the movies. It's always packed.

People are super into it. It's really fun. And we got to host a screening of Swordfish from 2001 starring Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Hallie Berry, Don Cheedell, at all. At all?

How do they get him? Is he Weird Al's brother? This is a movie I had never seen. And so I didn't really have any context other than I remember the trailers being ridiculous. And it was that kind of like new metal era of action movies. And I was really excited to get to see it. Like that's the sort of thing that was so fun.

It's so fun to see it on the big screen. Like I think Dan has mentioned, but like as I get older, my like window of nostalgia gets bigger. And it in, it like envelops things that at the time I did not, like I thought I was too good for. Yeah. And now I'm like, no, give me more of this. Can you make this sequence more stylized, but harder to pay attention to? Can you do a post-matrix 360 bullet time explosion? And that explosion, like, at the time was like the most expensive effect they'd ever done.

And in the movie, it's kind of worthless. So this is the one right where he tells this, he gives the talk about how Thomas Jefferson murdered a man. Yes, and it's a lie. Completely made up. There's not even a legend it's referring to. But there's a page on the moment. Monticello website that addresses that rumor and says, no, this never happened? Yeah, I think it was a lot of fun to host.

It was fun to host with my buddy Dan. And I think it's like, I don't know, if you have an affection for that, like, era of cinema, which I feel like I'm discovering I do have an affection for it. Check it out. I mentioned that that was false in our intro, which led to a big, it led to a big laugh when that moment came and the thing. And I also, Elliot, I mentioned that, of course, at the Daily Show. That was one of the top, like, meeting-ending videos that we would watch. Was him hacking?

Yeah. Was Hugh Jackman doing hacking in sportsage? That sequence is so great. It's so funny. He is, like, one step away from, like, an Elton John impersonator playing, like, the piano standing up. I think I'm going to, I'm going to recommend a goofy movie then. It's called a goofy movie. No, I'm just kidding.

The, I recently. We need to do goofy movie. We need to do goofy movie. We just keep edging the audience, the promises of goofy movie. Your mention of Abram Zucker Abrams movies, Dan, reminded me of a movie I finally got to see recently, which is the new naked gun movie starring Liam Neeson, which I really enjoyed a lot. And I was like, this movie pulls off being a naked gun movie. And it was just very refreshing to see a comedy where it was just like, shovel in the jokes, shovel in more jokes. You got to pay attention if you're going to catch all the jokes.

And I thought it was really funny. As all those movies, as even the original naked gun movies do, I kind of got worn out by the end of it because I don't care what's happening. It's such a perfect deployment of Danny Houston. Danny Houston is so good in it. His line about his tummy hurts. It's so fucking funny.

And Pam Anderson is so funny. And the part where she is jazz, like doing jazz skating, is so funny. And so I really, it was one of the few comedies I've seen recently where I was like laughing out loud throughout. So I thought they just did a great job of pulling off a naked gun style movie instead of doing a like half-assed kind of like referential version of one. So hats off to the makers in the naked gun movie.

If you like those kinds of movies, you'll enjoy this. Well, that's great recommendations. And before we wrap up, by now you've heard all of the reasons to become a Max Fund member and support our show. So please, if you are considering doing so, do it now before you forget. I have ADHD. So I know all about forgetting. My brain does not work. I go into rooms.

I'm like, why am I in this room? I have forgotten. That's like a thing though, right? Where like your brain stops remembering. It's called memento. Yeah. So anyway, what was I talking about? Maximumfund.org slash join.

Yeah, you get tons of bonus content and the knowledge that you're making a difference and supporting media that you like only $5 a month to start to join at the lowest level. And you can do that at maximum fun. That is maximum fun. dot org slash join. Thank you to Maximum Fun. Thank you to our producer. He goes by name Howell Doughty on the internet.

His actual name is Alex Smith. Yeah. He does a great job for us. Thank you, Alex, for all that you do. But that's it. For the Flop House, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kalen. Bye. Do you need binoculars or upper glasses? or a normal distance from the thing. Or bun noculars, which is when it's a rabbit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or bun's noculus when it's tight bud? Yeah, it's a butt.

You use them to look at butts. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. Theory, leisure suit, layer, you have us. Yep, that's what the patent said. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. supported directly by you