The Flop House - FH Mini #1

Episode Date: February 8, 2020

Here's a little thing we're trying, sort of as a snack between episodes. Minisodes that are more tangent than show. On this first one, we ask: Goofy -- what's HIS deal?

Hey everyone, it's an off week thing we're trying out. We don't know whether we're going to keep it up. So don't first to attached. And Dan, what is this? Is this the flop house? This is the flop house. Sorry about that. Normally, you know, we come to you and we talk about a bad movie for about 90 to two hours and a half. Question mark, question mark, question mark. Yep, yeah. But we're gonna try the thing that's a lot shorter where we just do something different in these off weeks.

And this time we're doing something we like to call Flop House Unsolved Mysteries. Ooh. So, Elliot, you came to me with this question. What is the question? The question was like, what's Goofy's deal? Like Goofy the cartoon character? Because, hey, okay.

One, we all know nobody knows exactly what kind of animal he is. Two, he has a son. But that name is a dog. He did start out as a dog. I think we'll address that for now. And also, he has a son, so we know that he had sex with somebody, but who was that? Because she is out of the picture when Goof Troop starts.

Yeah. And they never refer to her. So either, I mean, it's possible that Goofy is reproduced through, was it part of the Genesis, where he just like splits another little Goofy off of him, but I don't think that's the case. Yeah, like a beholder. He like, he dreams, he gets into a dream state and imagines another

goofy into being. Now, I do, I don't want to like, you know, cut off this imaginative, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, you're just going just the facts. You're right. Yeah, I do believe that goofy in goof troop is a widower. I think that's the case. Because in Disney, it is more acceptable for spouse to die than to have a divorce. Oh, make sense. Or for him to have adopted a child as a single man. Yeah.

Or for him to have just found a little bundle of joy on his basket on his doorstep. And they were like, oh, this is this weird kind of dog man thing. And we see you're kind of a weird dog man. So maybe you can teach him like, I don't know, dog man stuff. That's what the note said. So are you familiar with dog man? It's a a children's comic book about a man, like a half man,

half dog policeman hybrid. Yes, I'm always confused by it because it makes me think of dog boy, the Charles Burns character, who is a 1950s teen who gets the heart of a dog in a back room, back alley, heart transplant, and now does dog things. Yeah, and he would have, there would be cartoons of that on liquid television. Yeah, and, well, live action, but they all had rubber hair, like those creepy, bad, right? I got excited that they had made a comic book based on

uh... the uh... friend of Logan nine fingers uh... dog man the current king of the north men but apparently i was i was misled now sorry to hear that now that now you had some facts that you wanted to introduce about this goofy character or i guess goofy is a nickname for sure like goofum or that we were talking a nickname, it's probably short for like Goofum. Or is that around about that? Yeah, we were talking a bit off there now.

Is it like, Goofus, isn't that a normal name? Goofum? Yeah, Goofus. Well, but it was only tainted with Gallant. Yeah, okay. For every Goofus, there's also a Gallant. It's every 5,000 years, and if you're the Emperor, and you're the King of the Dark Side,

you can pull the energy out of that Goofus and Gallant diet. But again, it only happens very 5,000 years now Here's the exciting thing scientifically about goofis and gallant They cannot occupy the same space at the same time Well, and if they touch each other they'll explode okay Well, I mean the first part of that is true of any matter I'll keep on the same space at the same time, so I just want to I mean, but that was that was my old that was my old pickup lines I would say hey You ever occupied the same space at the same time. So I just want to, I mean, but that was, that was my old, that was my old pickup lines. I would say, Hey, you ever occupied the same space at the same time? You want

to try? Never worked. Dan, why didn't it work? Okay, but I'm sure it gross creep. But getting back to goofy. Yeah, because it, because when you were saying it, you got pushing out your suspenders and your bow tie would spin around provocatively. I like provocatively as a description of a bowtie sph. It's provocative. Hey, J.K. Hey, Helen. I hear you have a true Foss quiz you want me to finish. I do.

Here we begin. We host a trivia game show podcast on the Max Fun Network called GoFactYourself. Correct. The show is all about celebrity guests answering trivia questions about things Jake Heath enjoys. False, we sometimes don't talk about baseball or cats. Thank God. It's questions about things they enjoy. Next, we bring on surprise experts every episode.

True. Correct. Final question. It's just the two of us sitting alone with these guests. False. Correct. We have a live audience at the Angel City Brewery. See, you can hear and go fact yourself every first and third Friday of the month,

and if you don't listen, you can go fact yourself. True! Dead Pilots Society brings you exclusive readings of comedy pilots that were never made featuring actors like Pat and Oswald. So the vampire from the future sleeps in the dude studio during the day and they hunt monsters at night, it's Blade meets the odd couple. Adam Scott and Jane Levy. Come on, Hory.

She's too serious, too business-seey. She doesn't know the hokey-poky. She'll learn what it's all about. She's too serious, too business-see. She doesn't know the hokey-poky. She'll learn what it's all about. Busy Phillips and Dave Kackner. Maybe this is family. My uncle tell, who showed his wiener to Cinderella at Disneyland, is family. Do you want him staying with us?

He did stay with us for three months! And he was a delight! A new pilot every month, only on Dead Pilots Society, for three months. And he was a delight. A new pilot every month only on Dead Pilots Society for maximum fun. To speak to the dog issue that Stewart brought up now originally Goofy's name was a Dippy dog and I wanted to I was saying off air that so he changed his name at some point but it seems like a lateral move to I understand not only to be called Dippy but then your car goofy. Well, especially in that at the entertainment industry at

that time an openly Jewish name like Dippy was just hard to carry and be a stock. Yeah. You know, so that that was just the prejudices of the time. Dog of course just seemed redundant because people looked at him and they were like, yeah, I thought you were some kind of weird dog and he was like, yeah, well, so you think I don't need that in my name and he was talking to Carrie Granite at the time. And Carrie was like, yeah, well, so you think I don't need that in my name.

And he was talking to Carrie Grant at the time. And Carrie Grant was like, well, my name's not Carrie human. My name was Archibald Leach because I was a leach. And then I, I guess, a spell on me that turned me into a human being. And I needed a new name. It seems like a very benevolent witch because a leach is kind of an unpleasant creature

whereas Carrie Grant is one of the most charming stars in Hollywood history. That's easy for you to say Dan, because you're a human. But to a leach as Carrie Grant is one of the most charming stars in Hollywood history. That's easy for you to say, Dan, because you're a human, but to a leech, Carrie Grant is disgusting. He doesn't suck blood. In fact, the only thing that he sucks is the air out of a room when he starts one of his intermitable stories. And also, you know, leech is find each other attractive.

I hate to break it to you, Dan, but like leeches are not attracted to the same things that you're attracted to. I know you love Carrie Grant. Leeches, they're attracted to more of a like, Dan, but like, leeches are not attracted to the same things that you're attracted to. I know you love carry grant leeches. They're attracted to more of a like, the opposite of carry grant, like a polysure type figure. Oh wow, okay. Okay, well, that's strange. Which is strange because polysure is again a weasel.

But a leech looking at a weasel would say there's a source of food. So you could see why they'd be attracted to it. But Dan, so Dippy Dog, he changed it to goofy lateral move I agree you think goofy so dippy did it have some kind of connotation that people didn't like at the time uh... i you know it means

dumb in the same way that you feel is i believe i mean i assume goofy was just like he was silly yeah well i don't know he's presented is maybe not the smart does say gorsha lot. Yeah, well, it's because he's best friends the Frank Gorshin And that's what he calls it. It's his nickname for it. He does also laugh like you which is not typically a thing that you associate With you know an academic say so what would be a smart laugh Dan? Like how it's laugh like you imagine a smart person would Very good, very good.

Okay, fair point. It does sound very smart. Now, Goofy, he started out kind of as just like a pal of making in the gang. But then there was that period kind of later on where he seemed to get into the instructional video business. Do you remember these cartoons? there was that period kind of later on where he seemed to get into the instructional video business. Do you remember these cartoons? Oh yeah, it would be like- The goofy how-to video shoot. Yeah, like skiing.

Oh, the sports of, you know, the wealthy and what I don't know, I can't remember. Like, how do you- That would be a must- What to ski? You know that kind of like- Yeah. No, Dan, keep going. I want to hear more Tell me about skiing yeah

Now to slow down is the easiest thing in the world just simply point your skis in and make a pizza shit I don't know got damn it I bail I bail so quickly on these things and I know I shouldn't it's like a reverse pyramid. Yeah, I Like to you a triangle is just a pizza shape went to me pizza would be round You know So my guess is that goofy saw that dwarf money going out the window I gotta get on this Tim Conway sucking up all this money for these door videos. I can do instructional stuff.

Stuart, what do you think about that? Door versus goofy. Who would you trust more to teach you how to do things? Well, Tim Conway is not animated. Oh, well, I don't know about that. Well, he's especially not animated now because I believe he's passed, but yes. He is a tune.

And you know know ever since You know, I have my own issues with tunes. Yeah Yeah, I want to put it in some dip Yep, I want to put it in dip now I so that's where a dippy dog got his name from because he used because dip I guess it's true Tunes that Tim Conway as Dorf was not that animated because he had to constantly just keep his knees on the shoes in front of him. His range of motion was pre-limited. Yeah. Now Stewart, I don't want to burst your mind like a bubble. But Tim Conway was animated on an episode of the Scooby-Doo movies.

Uh, who did he play? He played Tim Conway because that was the Scooby do series where celebrities beyond as themselves uh... like the harland globe trotters yes it positive a universe where scuba do the harland globe trotters batman and the three stooches and share uh... existed in one shared universe uh... i mean that's our universe though right

but that's a talking dog, I guess you're in Batman. I mean, Batman exists in our universe, it's not as a real person. Well, I mean, unless you consider a real person to be Michael Keaton, and I do. Wow, so have we cracked this code yet? I guess we have. What's it do for work? not to define somebody in such capitalist terms

I can see we just kind of a business man just kind of a nondescript business business business things Oh, okay, business stuff his son must be a middle-aged man by now. What does he do? Oh? You don't want Sun's name as sons. I don't remember want to know. What's his son's name? As sons, I don't remember. So I'm gonna guess that his son was named goofy, Jr. or perhaps Lee Foug, which is goof backwards. Oh, okay.

Guys, are we now kind of like a, is this like a true crime podcast or like a journalism podcast? Yeah, they are. We're trying to figure out what happened to goofy's son. We're trying to catch and kill goofy, I guess. Hey. Yeah, let's call that the end of this thing that we're trying out. I mean, I think we answered all the questions that we asked.

Yeah, so let us know, I guess, whether you like to or not. If you'd like more off-week shenanigans from the flop house, yeah, give us a letter at Dan McCoy Brooklyn, New York, one one two three fake street Brooklyn, New York, Brooklyn, New York was your company. That's why I Okay, you're also You need to tell me that, Elliott. I know what I mean. Yeah, but let us know if you like this experiment or if you never want us to ever do this ever again. Alright, we'll see you next time. Bye.

Bye.