The Flop House - FH Mini 100! - Elliott Looks Back
Episode Date: April 6, 2024Elliott takes a look back at 100 Flop House minis, and that is absolutely the only thing that happens, and no special guest arrives with any particular fixation on sandworm-related science fiction.We ...partnered with StagePilot and their talented crew to film our SPEED 2 live show as a streaming event! The debut is Saturday, April 27th at 7PM ET, and the three hosts will be IN THE CHAT watching along with viewers at that time, BUT THERE IS ALSO A VIEWING WINDOW -- folks can rewatch or watch for the first time anywhere between the debut and Sunday, May 19 at 11:59PM ET!And if you happen to prefer your live shows really live, and happen to live in or near OXFORD, ENGLAND? We’ve got upcoming LIVE SHOWS for you!Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain
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Hey floppers, this is Elliott talking before we get into this episode's classic flop house shenanigans
I want to make sure you knew about some upcoming live events. We are very excited about on April 27th at 7 p.m
Eastern we are premiering online the professionally shot professionally edited online video of our speed to live show
Dan Stewart and I will be there watching the show with you text chatting with the audience
Throughout the entire thing can't make it on the 27th?
The video will be available to watch at your leisure through May 19th.
To see the trailer and buy tickets, go to
stagepilot.com slash flop dash house dash speed dash two.
If you want to see us in person and you live in England,
remember that on the 24th of May,
we'll be in Oxford doing our first and second ever UK live shows in one night.
7 p.m. we're talking The Avengers. 9 first and second ever UK live shows in one night.
7pm, we're talking The Avengers. 9pm, we're talking Spice World. Two shows, one night.
For tickets and more information, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events. Now that's enough live show hype
from me. Let's get to that patented Flophouse silliness. Take it away, peaches. Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the Flophouse Mini.
This is our 100th Mini.
The Flophouse Minis are something we introduced during, I think, the pandemic, and it's a
chance for us to do silly things that the Flophouse doesn't normally do.
And today I'm joined by my regular Flophouse co-hosts.
Introduce yourself, guys. Dan McCoys, my name. I'm joined by my regular Flophouse co-hosts. Introduce yourself guys.
Dan McCoys, my name.
I'm Stuart Wellington.
And today I thought I'd take us on a little memory jaunt
through many as past in what I call
the 100 greatest moments of the first 100 minis.
So. Wow.
Oh wow.
Oh wow.
Starting with number 100.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, wait a second. Sorry, there's somebody at the door. Hold on. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. and Stuart, it's me, Tom Brokaw. Yeah, and the newsman Tom Brokaw.
Famous newsman.
Elliot, I'll take it from here.
I don't know, but we've got a whole thing.
It's our 100th mini.
We're really going to celebrate it.
I think I know why he's here, Dan.
I believe you'll find that two weeks ago,
on your very program, you promised I could arrive
and talk about the movie everyone's talking about.
Yeah, I figured this. Dune Part 2. Yeah, I did say you could do that. That's true. arrive and talk about the movie everyone's talking about.
Yeah, I figured this part too.
I did say you could do that.
That's true.
Guys, I apologize that I kind of promised that
to America's favorite newsman, Tom Brokaw.
I guess we can save your thing for mini 101.
I mean, yeah, I guess so.
I would say no spoilers since I haven't gotten around to it
yet, but I have read the book, Dune.
So I guess I've already-
Well, Daniel, you're in luck because while I could talk
about the masterful way that Denis Benioff
has adapted the greatest novel in human history,
some would say not so much a novel as a future history,
a history of past events that have not taken place yet.
I am not going to be talking purely about that movie today,
although I will note that it brings some of the weirdness
back to Dune, which I appreciated.
Yes, Dan, you have something to tell me?
No, I'm just astounded by sort of the glottal stops
and sort of breath pauses that you managed to work in there.
Dan, this is how you have to talk
if you want to tell America the events of the world.
Now, first I wanted to highlight one aspect of the film,
which is Javier Bonham's performance as Stilgar.
Stilgar becomes a character who is both a religious believer
and also a man of his tribe of responsibility
and also somewhat of a funny character.
And it led me to believe that Javier Barham
might be the perfect casting for a theatrical event
I have been trying to get off the ground for some time.
You may know that I am a little bit of a dappler
in the tuneful arts, you may say.
I wasn't aware of that.
Well, in addition to hosting NBC Nightly News
for quite some time, I also am an amateur writer
of musicals, stage musicals.
And I've been tinkering with a musical
about my favorite work of literature,
Dune for quite some time.
And I think that Harry of Arden
would be the perfect lead for this musical.
It's called A Ballisette Player on the Siege,
or some may call it A Fiddler on the Dune.
I've been looking for a backers for this play for quite some time.
It tells through music and dance the story of the travails of the dune-ish people and
how they must find a homeland for themselves.
I thought this would be the perfect time because your podcast is so incredibly successful
and is listened to by so many power players that I could present a sort of backers reading
of some of the songs from the show
so that they could hear them and then fund my
Javier Bardem starring Broadway run.
And like Laser Wolf sounds like a Dune character.
So yeah.
It does indeed.
Only the mind of Frank Herbert or perhaps Sholem Aleichem
could come up with a character
named Laser Wolf.
So without further ado, I would like to begin by introducing the show the way it would be
introduced on stage.
Unless you have a...
I guess we're...
No, no, no, no.
Would you like to fund the show without hearing anything from us?
I certainly wouldn't like to do that.
So I guess...
This is the Kickstarter video.
I'm looking for roughly $500,000 for the initial seed funding to then get the further several
million dollars it costs to put up a Broadway show.
We could start out of town for a lesser cost, but I do dream of bringing it to the great
white way. But it would begin with a sort of a sort of balisette sound and our main character or one of
our main characters would emerge. This of course I think would be Javier Bardem because he'll be
maybe the biggest star in the cast or if we're lucky the smallest star in the cast if you can
get even bigger names to be in the show. And he will say, a balisette player on the siege.
Sounds crazy, no?
But you could say that each of us in our city of Arrakeen is a balisette player on the siege,
trying to eke out a simple rendition of the prophecy without being swallowed by the mall,
shy hulud.
Why do we stay here?
We stay because after a lifetime on Arrakis, we are addicted to air that contains the spice
melange.
How do we keep our balance?
That I can answer in one word because we're fremen.
And then the music starts up.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen.
We're fremen. We're Fremen. Bum ba da dum ba dum ba dum ba dum. We're Fremen. Yeah, sure. We're Fremen. We're Fremen.
Bum ba da dum ba da dum ba da da da.
We're Fremen.
Our knowledge that the Kwisatz Haderach is coming
has allowed us to keep our balance for many years.
Because of the prophecy,
we always know how to do everything.
How to walk on sand,
how to suck water out of the bodies of our enemies,
how to wear clothes.
For instance, we always wear our steel suits.
This shows our constant devotion to not wasting our urine.
You may ask, when is the Kwisatz Hatterach coming?
I'll tell you.
I don't know.
It's a laugh line.
But the Bene Gesserit tell us he is, and that we better be ready for him.
And then the music starts again.
Bum, bum.
Who day and night must ride on all the sandworms, calibrate the thumpers, Say his daily prayers, and who has the right
As master of the siege to speak at the southern council?
The Stilgar! The Stilgar! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Now more of the cash comes out. Who must know the way to spread a prophecy? For centuries we've been ag's.
Who must use the voice to silence blasphemy?
So Paul is free to be the Hatterach.
Bum, bum, bum.
Reverend mother, the mother.
We're Fremen.
And then more music.
At three I lived on Caledon as a teen I came to dune.
I hear I'll spark a bloody jihad
I hope I don't
Madim Madim anyway, I feel like I feel like that's a Ben I am thank God
You didn't bother to do what you know someone might do
But they're pitching a thing and bring in like a piano player or someone no dad. I don't have my money
I don't have sort of a that's or someone to provide the music. No, dad, I don't have the money. I don't have the funds.
That's why I'm doing this.
The dumb et cetera motion.
I'm doing this because I don't have the funds for those things.
If I did, I wouldn't have to do it.
And then it goes, the ways of the Fremen without them would be as shaky as, as, as a balisette
player on the roof.
Then we go to the court of the Padishah Emperor,
Shadom IV, where we find that some members
of their spacing guild yearn for a strong leader
who can keep them supplied with a precious resource
they need to do their work.
And they begin their song.
Harkonnen, harkonnen, bring me some spice.
The spice it must flow, easy and nice.
Harkonnen, harkonnen, I must fold space.
So bring me some perfect spice.
And then one of them steps out.
Harkonnen, harkonnen, I'm a third stage.
Guild navigator in a tank like a cage.
Bring me some spice so space I can roam.
Piloting ships for Chome.
Now Chome isn't in the movies per se,
but that's the interstellar trading organization
from the novel.
Please, Rob, we need Spice production.
The galactic economy can't function if it's ceased.
If anyone can stop harvest interruptions,
we assume it's the man who they call the beast.
And anyway, that song goes on for a little bit as well.
Yes, Dan, are you ready to invest
because there's more music if you're not.
I'm just reflecting on how we just finished
the Max Fun Drive and it really punches up
the importance of supporting independent media
because certainly no one else would put this on the air.
This was, if I can break character for a moment,
then I'll get back to the illusion.
The other night I was doing this and I was saying to my wife,
I was like, it writes itself.
And she goes, I don't think it does write itself.
No.
It was just coming to me so quickly.
You're just so deeply steeped in,
you've become the character of Tom Brokaw,
loving June.
Well at the same time, being a Jew who knows
all the words to fill on the room.
Now, okay, now if I could,
Elliot, if I could step in please.
Sure, yeah.
Sure, Mr. Brokaw.
Now that the show has set up the complicated economics
and politics of Frank Herbert's visionary world,
we must turn to its metaphysics.
So as a young Paul Atreides is serenaded
by Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mayim of the Bene Gesserit
as she gives him the test that will set him on the path
to triumph and
tragedy, singing to him.
Yeah.
How can I hope to make you understand?
Don't you move your right hand.
Keep it in that small box where I will land on your neck with my Gong-juh-bar. See, if you're human, you'll withstand the pain
that to me makes it plain.
If you're an animal that I disdain,
I'll kill with my gum-juh-bar.
So that's another song.
It's touching in its own way.
It's sort of a lullaby.
It is.
And then, well, but that would go to go,
Duke Leto, of course, has ordered to take control of Arrakis,
which he recognizes as a trap, but he also knows he cannot turn down this order.
And so he goes into the stables of Caledon to sing about this contradiction.
He goes, Oh Lord, you want to put my house in charge of Arrakis?
I realize, of course, it's no shame to control Arrakis, but it's no great honor either.
If we take Arrakis, yabba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dune.
Okay.
All day long I'd wish we were back home.
If we take Arrakis, man, I know I wouldn't like it.
Yabba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dune. If I were the biddy-biddy boss of Yiddle-diddle-diddle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-doodle-dood riding in the thopter planes, dee dee dee dee dee dee dee. There'd be just one big harvester scooping spice up
and into a worm falling down.
Cause if the spice doesn't flow, I know I'll get the blame.
So that song goes on for a while also.
Still a banger, even if you make it about Dune.
Yeah, it's a great, it's an original, thank you, Dan.
So we'll have one more song before we reach the intermission.
So I'll just do this final song song before we reach the intermission.
So I'll just do this final song before we get
to the intermission of the show.
The Duke's misgivings, of course they are correct.
And the Harkonnens backed up by the emperor's personal
troops stormed the Atreides compound, killing many.
And this is a massive dance number that is sung
by the Sardaukar troops as they are butchering their way
through, but also dancing.
And it says,
To fight, to fight, Sardaukar, Sardaukar, Sardaukar to fight.
It's the Atreides we want to kill.
All of the blood will spill.
Sardaukar to fight.
God would like us to destroy the Duke.
And by God, we mean the emperor.
Cause they worship the emperor, you see.
To help Dr. U, we place the poison tooth will leave Lido lying on the floor.
We killed Duncan Idaho, we'll kill all Atreides we find.
And if not all their blood is shed, at least there'll be lots of dead Sarah Dacar to fight.
And there's a lot of dancing after that.
And it leads, of course, to a huge applause number people love it they go crazy. I mean I don't think you can
dictate that as the writer of the show. I wrote it into the script huge applause
audience goes crazy. Like the Wanka thing? Like the AI Wanka script that describes how the people
attending would be enraptured in joy and love it. The intermission hits at that
point curtain falls people say what's gonna gonna happen in A Balancet on the Siege part two?
And I believe you'll have some sponsors
that you'd like to mention in the episode
as we go to the intermission of A Balancet on the Siege.
Dan, who do we have sponsoring this?
You know what, I'll do it.
This revolutionary audition.
I'll do both of the sponsors and then I'll toss it back
to our mutual friend, Elliot, for some words
about some live shows we got coming up.
And our first sponsor is Squarespace,
which is the all-in-one website platform
for entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs.
I believe that's how you get spelled.
I believe it's pronounced entrepreneur.
To stand out and succeed online.
Whether you're just starting out
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Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website,
engage with your audience, and sell anything,
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They have a new guided design system,
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which allow you to accept credit cards, take Apple Pay, PayPal, other types of payments.
You can offer customers in other eligible countries the option to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and Clearpay.
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Squarespace has the tools that you need for that as well.
So why not go to squarespace.com for a free trial?
And when you are ready to launch,
go to squarespace.com slash flop
to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
We've got some exciting things
in the Flophouse Live Show universe.
We are releasing this,
not long after our triumphant return
to the Bell House in Brooklyn,
and we have some more exciting live things going up.
First of all, first of all,
we did some shows in Los Angeles last year,
at the end of last year, that were great shows.
So great, we felt it was unfair
to keep them in Los Angeles.
Only let those people see them.
We had to let the world see it.
We had to release these jokes into the wild
so that everyone could enjoy them.
And that's why on April 27th,
we will be having our internet premiere
for the video of the Flophouse Sinks Speed 2,
our Speed 2 live show.
Tickets are on sale right now from StagePilot,
the company that has done an amazing job of shooting and editing live show. Tickets are on sale right now from StagePilot, the company that has done an amazing job
of shooting and editing the show.
It looks so incredibly professional and cool.
It's like better than Stop Making Sense probably, Dan, right?
I wouldn't go that far, but I watch these things
and I'm like, wow, I'm in an actual thing.
Like, look at me, look at me on the screen.
It's amazing.
It looks like a real thing.
So tickets are available now.
Go to flophous flop house podcast comm slash events
And you can buy them there the online premiere will be April 27th
And we will be there in the chat chatting with you while the video goes on we're gonna watch it with you and chat
I'll be watching the video chat and paint more hammers, you know
I'll be paying full attention to you the listener
Stuart might be doing that. I'll be paying full attention to you, the listener,
in the chat and chatting with you.
There's also gonna be exclusive merchandise
available for purchase, some of it featuring original art
by the amazing Xander Cannon,
who has done some portraits of us.
And the show's available for the next three weeks after that.
So April 27th premieres, it's still available to watch
for three weeks after that,
and then it returns to the Flophouse vault. So please don't miss your chance
to see the official professional video
of the Flophouse SYNC Speed 2.
And then we will be appearing live in person
in another country on another continent on May 24th,
or as they would say in England, 24 May.
We'll be in Oxford, England.
Very exciting.
We're going to be doing two shows in one night
as part of the St. Audio Podcast Festival, England. Very exciting. We're gonna be doing two shows in one night
as part of the St. Audio Podcast Festival.
7 p.m. The Avengers, not the Marvel one.
The one with Uma Thurman and Ray Fiennes
that's based on the British TV show, the bad one.
Then at 9 p.m. Spice World.
Two shows, one night.
The first time we've ever done shows in England.
We're so excited about it.
We always wanna do a show in Great Britain.
We're finally doing it.
Please come see us. Flophousepodcast.com slash events
for buying tickets for both of these,
the Flophouse Sync Speed 2 online video release
premiering April 27th,
but you don't have to see it then if you can't,
but that's where we'll be watching it.
And then 24th of May in Oxford, England.
More live events as they come up,
but those are the big ones coming up.
We hope you can join us either through your computer or through the power of living in
Oxford or traveling there.
Flophousepodcast.com slash events for more information and to buy tickets.
And for those of you looking to add more Elliot Kalin to your comic book collection, I'm excited
to tell you that this week, Wednesday, April 10th, if you're listening to this, the week
that it comes out, my new comic book, Hercules, number one,
from Dynamite Comics is coming out, will be in stores.
This Wednesday, April 10th,
it's the first of a projected 12 issue series,
continuing the adventures of Hercules
from the Disney film of the same name.
For those of you who read my Hades mini series
from Dynamite, I think you will really enjoy this.
It's still gonna be as funny.
It's gonna have a lot more adventure.
It's gonna have a lot more character, more heart,
but also again, it's gonna be funny.
Where Hercules is going to go on a series
of short adventures that interact with other characters
from Greek mythology that will in turn build
into a much larger story.
It turns out that as Hercules does jobs
for each of the Greek gods,
the Greek gods are going missing.
They're disappearing.
Someone's abducting them.
Who could it be?
What possible villain could be doing this?
Well, you'll have to read the series to find out.
I've had a lot of fun writing it.
I think it's coming out really great.
I think it looks great.
And I think you'll enjoy it.
It's kind of all ages fun in the Disney style,
but with a heaping helping of Greek mythology.
And I think it's coming out really great.
So that's April 10th in the comic stores,
Hercules number one,
and that'll be monthly from that point on.
And I should also mention that for any fans
in the Los Angeles area, on April 14th, that's a Sunday,
I'm going to be at Golden Apple Comics,
signing it from noon until 2 p.m.
I'm going to be signing copies of Hercules number one. Come on by, pick one up, say hello, get one signed.
You know who else is gonna be there? Jordan Morris. That's right, Max Fun neighbor.
Jordan Morris is gonna be signing an Archie book that he worked on along with a couple of other writers,
and I believe artists that were also involved. I apologize that I don't remember their names,
but I'll be there April 14th at Golden Apple Comics
in Los Angeles, signing from 12 to two.
Come on by, buy a copy of Hercules number one.
If you're not in Los Angeles, buy a copy anyway.
You'll still enjoy it.
["Driving the Rearview"]
Thanks to everyone who contributed
during this year's Max Fun Drive.
We truly couldn't do what we do without you.
With the drive in the rearview, it's time for another proud tradition, our annual charity
pin sale!
This year, the proceeds for the pin sale will support VoteRiders, a nonprofit dedicated to
expanding ballot access nationwide.
Members at $10 a month or more can purchase MaxFunDrive pins featuring shows from across
the network, and all members are able to buy our network pin design, exclusive to this
charity sale.
The sale is live now and it ends Friday, April 12th.
For more info, head to MaximumFun.org slash pin sale.
And thanks again for your support. From the twisted minds that brought you the Adventure Zone.
Balance and amnesty and graduation and either see and steeplechase and
Uhterspace and all the other ones. The McElroy brothers and dad are proud to reveal a bold vision for the future of actual play
podcasting.
It's um... It's called the Adventure Zone versus Dracula.
Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass.
Well, we haven't recorded all of it yet.
We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass.
The Adventure Zone versus Dracula.
Yes, a season I will be running
using the D&D fifth edition rule set.
And there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now.
We hope you will join us.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
I see what you did there.
Well, if you're done with the promotional part of the show,
I'd like to continue to promote my work.
It feels like the least you could do
is to now give me the space to finish
my backers presentation of a balacit on the
seat. I don't know if it's the least we could do.
Yeah, I guess. You're not contributing your own funding to the show unless perhaps I convince you.
So now the house of Atreides has fallen in Arrakis. Paul and his mother have escaped
into the desert where
the spice laden air has already begun triggering Paul's latent superpowers, which he of course
sings about in the following joyful song of visions.
Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, I see the future and it's bad billions of corpses all because I
want to fight even though I'm such a well-meaning lad wonders of wonders
miracle of miracles I'll have to drink the water of life and if I live I'll
also teach the weirding way to these guys who fight with a Chris knife so
that's his song where he finally gets into his future
Well, labored but I like it.
A lot of work went into it.
Yes, thank you Stuart for recognizing that.
Word is already spreading around Arrakis.
And if you think that song was labored,
listen to this one.
Word is already spreading about Arrakis
that the savior foretold by the Bene Gesserit has arrived.
This only leads to more conflict as we see
in a prophetic dream that Paul has in which he and his mother
are being congratulated thusly.
A blessing on your house had a wreck, had a wreck.
Your son the desert mouse had a wreck, had a wreck.
At war he's really good.
He rode the shy Halood, the quesadze had a wreck.
And then his mother says, you must have heard wrong.
Still, Gar, there's no quesadze just in a tradies. The queesats had a rack and then his mother says, you must have heard wrong, still gar.
There's no queesats just in a trade ease, still gar.
It's Leto's son Paul.
And they argue back and forth about that
until a crack of thunder, oh no.
And they're all worried.
Oh, what nephew is this?
By psychotic rage is shaken.
Could it be?
Sure, why not?
Who could be mistaken?
It's Harkonnen's nephew fresh from the arena floor.
It's the Baron's nephew armed with the Emperor's knife.
Fade, Rutha, fade, Rutha, fade, Rutha, fade, Rutha, fade, Rutha.
And then of course there's a, they have a thing like that where there's a battle.
Yeah.
Of course. Of course, Dune is a sprawling epic.
I don't have time to tell you the whole story now.
And to fit it all onto the Broadway stage,
we have to do some trimming and lose some characters.
But we, I promise you, we absolutely will make time, as they did not in the movie, spoiler alert, for the subplot in which
Mentat Thufir Hawat mistakenly believes Lady Jessica has betrayed Duke Leto and so joins forces with the Baron
And so joins forces with the Baron Harkonnen in order to exact revenge, only to realize he has been deceived when he comes face to face once more with Paul as he sings the touching
and moving song.
Is this the little boy I worked for?
Did I the little boy betray?
I don't remember turning evil. Can a Mentat go insane?
Sphere, how what? Sphere, how what? To serve I was trained. One Mentat following
another. He literally takes the job of another Ment with a computer for a brain, which is not
literally true.
They have turned away from computers because of the Balerian Jihad and so forth.
So I just wanted to give you a little...
Oh, Dan, I'm sorry that you're getting this whole movie spoiled.
Yeah, I mean, don't worry.
I sort of, you know, my brain sort of went into a holding pattern to protect me.
I hope that pattern was holding the money we need
to get this play off the ground
and is then going to give it to me to hold.
But that is all I could give to you for now.
Unfortunately, I just had to give you a short taste
of the play, but I will let you know
I am working on the sequel
so that whenever a balisette player on the siege comes out, we can also do the sequel.
Would you like to hear a little bit of the song,
which will of course be based on-
I mainly want to hear the title of the sequel.
So this is called, this is called Dune,
this is called, this is called Mardi Dib,
the Demon Messiah of Arrakis Street.
And I think you'll,
I'll just say a little bit of this,
this is more of a work in progress.
But the beginning where it says,
I tend the tale of Dune Messiah.
He raised the stakes and raised them higher.
He fought the houses and made them squirm.
He did it all with the spice from a worm.
He lit the universe of fire.
The Dune Messiah,
the Dune Messiah of Arachnid Street.
And so I'm still, I'm still working on it a little bit.
I love that rhyme.
I love it so much.
These are all original songs I've been slaving over
for the past few years, past number of years,
since my book, The Greatest Generation came out.
This has been the totality of where my effort
has been going.
And it's just so gratifying to me to finally be able to release to the public
a little bit of what I've been working on all this time.
So, fellas, this is where the rubber meets the road.
Do you feel like you have heard enough to perhaps take part
in the theatrical event of a century or more?
Okay. So what's the, what are the reward tiers?
Like what do, how much do you have to give
to get like a digital copy?
You would be an investor in the play.
You would receive profits when the play went into profits,
which would be almost instantly.
Immediately, yeah.
I know that Hamilton made a lot of money
and the story of Dune is both better and more important
than the story of Alexander
Hamilton and the songs, if I may be a little, a little immodest are a million times better.
So you would be receiving what they call Boku Bucks from the box, Bofo B.O. from the theater.
A lot of B words.
So yeah, this is not, this is not for charity.
This is to be an investor in the play.
Oh, okay.
If the play fails, you will receive nothing, but that seems almost impossible to have happen.
Yes.
You look at the Dune movies, which are hugely successful, and they don't even have songs
in them.
This does feel a little bit like the offer that is made to Leto Atreides where he can
take over spice production on Arrakis.
But if things go good for him, Danny, remember, how do you go for Duke Leto?
If you're implying this is all a plan for me to murder both of you, you would be very
incorrect.
I, well, perhaps when the prophets roll in, I wouldn't want to share them.
Maybe I would consider committing the ultimate crime.
I don't think you should say that right into the microphone. And murder.
It is how I got the NBC Nightly News job
by murdering my predecessor whose name escapes me now
and I hope is lost to the mists of history.
I mean, big.
We're not recording this, are you?
Well, yeah, we are.
This is a big,
we're breaking some big news here on our podcast.
Yeah, the big news that a balacet player on the siege,
the Dune musical is now ready for production as soon as it gets some backing. That's the big news that a balisette player on the siege the dune musical is now ready for production
As soon as it gets some backing that's the big story
And the big news that we're not gonna get murdered because I just had this fucking poison tooth stuck in my head
And if I'm not gonna get murdered, what's the point? I might accidentally break it while I'm chomping down on a snack
You know, I got no idea
So what's what's what's the minimum investment you're asking here, Tommy?
Well, Tommy also, of course, are famous musicals.
I'm glad you're in the Broadway spirit.
I'm glad that you are interested.
I'll take whatever you want to give from $500,000 all the way up to $500 million.
The puppeteering effects for the worms
will be quite expensive, but I think we can pull it off.
The worms will be of course life-sized
because on the Broadway stage, you can't fake anything.
It has to be real.
So it will be a cast of many thousands.
So we'll need a very big stage.
We might have to do it at say a baseball stadium
or football arena.
But I think we can really make it,
or I have been in talks with Julie Tamor
to do a more abstract version of it.
But of course those talks broke down very quickly
when she would refuse to answer my first calls.
Yeah, well, you know, I know you can understand this, Tom,
but right now all my money is tied up
in paperback copies of Dune,
so I'm sure they'll appreciate it over time.
That is one of the safest investments.
Dune has never been worth zero, Dan.
Mm-hmm, true.
It's at record highs right now, I'm sure.
Yeah, yeah.
This would be the time to sell,
only I think the Dune explosion is just beginning.
The Dune movie is leading to, of course, the cycle of the time to sell, only I think the Dune Explosion is just beginning.
The Dune movie is leading to, of course, the cycle of Dune musicals, which of course will
lead to the creation of Dune on Earth, when the United States of America, because of course
becomes the United States of Dune, and the corpse of Frank Herbert is exhumed so that
we may worship it as the visionary seer it is. Are you on board for that as well?
Well, wait, speaking of dune explosions,
now that we have you here,
we've been getting a lot of emails asking for your thoughts on this.
Of course, I'm sure you're familiar with the viral sensation of the dune popcorn bucket.
Tom, how many of those did you obtain,
and did you have to wait in line long to get them?
The real question is, how many theaters have I been kicked out of
for demanding they sell me their entire supply of Dune popcorn buckets?
The answer may surprise you.
I mean, anything one or above would surprise me.
Then you will be surprised, Daniel.
I feel like that might be cutting into your own contribution to the production of your musical
Financially speaking well you never know sometimes you enter into a sort of dune frenzy
Perhaps it as if I myself has sift from the water of life and am overwhelmed by divisions of the future
I like that and I wake up suddenly not remembering where I have been
It is a lot like that. And I wake up suddenly not remembering where I have been surrounded by dune sandworm maw
popcorn buckets.
Not perhaps the most pleasant sensation when you are reaching for some buttery theater
popcorn to have the spiky teeth of Shy Hallud, the maker, poking you as if the Gom Jabbar
and the box in the Gom Jabbar test had been combined
and each one dipped with poison, these quills,
as if held to your wrist by the Reverend Mother herself
when like a human, you would just want delicious popcorn.
And unlike, although now that I think of it,
an animal will also eat popcorn.
So perhaps the-
So perhaps- True, I've seen it.
It is truly a test of whether the popcorn eater
is human or not.
A human driven by the need to eat will of course
be able to ignore the pain knowing that the popcorn reward
rests beyond it.
Whereas an animal will pull its hand back
receiving no popcorn.
Well, I think that that yawn from Stuart really
lets us know that maybe it's time to sign
off.
We can work out the financial details.
I'm so happy to have you on board and I invite every other Flophouse fan to just mail money
to me with maybe your name attached so I can put you on the list of investors.
But I hope to open a Balisette player on the siege this fall on Broadway So I have to get moving that's that doesn't give you I mean like that
You're not gonna do any sort of out-of-town tough trance, then I guess if you are still in the fundraising stage
Well, we'll see now that I have the main funds on behalf of you fine gentlemen. Thank you
Now I just have to put in a call to one of them to see if he will start in this soon
to be acclaimed, perhaps Pulitzer winning production.
I'd like to thank everybody for listening and considering donating.
This show is of course a Max Fun Show.
Thank you for your support during the recent Max Fun Drive.
It is only thanks to your support, your support listeners of this show that they can continue.
Thank you so much for listening.
Please subscribe to the podcast or write a good review wherever you get your podcasts.
I'd also like to thank of course, Alex Smith, the producer and editor of the show, who I
assume will also be investing in the Dune franchise.
If he does not, please feel free to tell him to
at his online handle, howlgaardy,
under which he does his own work.
Be sure that he knows that the American people
want him to invest in the Dune musical.
Daniel Stewart, is there anything else I should mention
about Maximum Fun or any
other thanks that need doing?
If you would like to, of course, go to Maximum Fun where you can also buy Flaw of House merchandise
and also join now.
It's not the drive, but you still can.
I guess you could still.
Yeah, no, just thank you for.
Perhaps purchase a Jumbotron and maybe even I will root it for you if you don't mind me
inserting some.
Certainly, I'm sure you could get a cameo where Tom Brokaw shows up.
And Flophouse is on Cameo and it's possible that Tom Brokaw will be available.
For the Flophouse, I'm Thomas Brokaw.
I've been Dan McCoy.
And I'm Stuart Wellington.
Bye!
Goodbye and good-dune.
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