The Flop House - FH Mini 112 - Months I Like on Film

Episode Date: September 21, 2024

Elliott asks us a simple, but nearly impossible question -- which films best represent each month in the calendar year? The answers are predictably chaotic.FlopTV is going strong! You can pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass — more info (including the full line-up) and tickets available here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”

Hey everybody, welcome to another Flophouse Miniature episode. Flophouse Minis as we call them. This is an off week episode for the Flophouse. You know, usually we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it, but otherwise I shouldn't say usually it's half and half. The other half of the time we just do whatever we want, whenever we want. Nobody gets to tell us what to do because we are our own bosses and we are Independent just

Baby Yeah, so my name is Ellie Kaelin. I'm joined today by my regular hosts friends and lovers Kinda I mean there's a it's a platonic love but sure Dan McCoy is my now I find out and I'm Stuart Wellington and There's a it's a platonic love but sure. Yeah, dan mccoy is my name now I find out And i'm stewart wellington And thank you so much for joining me again guys. Thank you audience for joining me I'm going to admit right off the bat that my life has been super busy lately. And so I if not my life

You're right, sorry, I should have said it Should have said it Oh, you did it. Well, that's the best joke of the episode. Goodbye everybody. My life has been super busy, so I haven't been able to put as much work into this mini as I have for previous minis like The Chop House, my relatively recent Top 10 Meats in the Movies episode.

So I am going to introduce a new concept in this episode with its own title, but then we'll go from there. It struck me guys that there are a lot of movies built around times of the year, events, but rarely, sometimes, but rarely do you see movies that really capture the feeling of a specific month. And I thought maybe we could try our hand

at figuring out what movies work best for what kinds of months. In an episode I'm entitling, MILF, Months I Like on Film. So guys, let's talk about MILFs on this one. Months I Like on Film. Yes, Dan. Are we restricted from using movies

that are tied to holidays because of this? I don't think so. The rules are as loose as possible But I think let's try to expand our thinking when we can so it's not just because you could say like oh February Valentine's Day, that's a movie already, but actually I got a really easy one here guys. This is so obvious may December It's obviously met or wait, or is it December? Oh God broken Maybe it's December?

Look at his face. He's so struggling to wrap his mind around this. And the problem is he walked himself into this one. This is the thing. This is a Gordian knot he tied himself. Maybe, wait, what's in between them? I'm going to try and split the difference. It's not going to work.

Stuart, let's jog you out of this one by starting with the beginning of the year. Let's just go month by month. We don't have to spend a lot of time on each. So January, there are lots of movies that are set around like New Year's Eve, for instance, or New Year's Day. New Year's Eve, I guess, technically is December. But let's save that for the end.

But what the feeling of a January, you know, where you guys live in New York, January is cold, it's pretty gross. You know, there's not a lot of time. You're holidays are over a couple of sort of Leak winter movies that sprung to mind for whatever were all right. Yeah reason Now obviously in South America. These would not be January movies. No, no, no we look this is all gonna come from our particular perspectives but uh the sweet hereafter and Affliction both came to me as very wintry films. Yeah, or like the ice storm, it's got ice right in the name. Those all feel very January-ish.

Yeah, you could cheat, put a movie with January Jones in there, like what, X-Men First Class, or the Three Burials of Milka Sestrata. But I think that's a good way to go, it's kind of freezy, wintry January movies, that's great. Let's move on to February, shall we? A totally different month, totally different weather than January.

I don't think so. Uh-oh, then we might have a problem here. So what's different between February and January? I would say that February makes me angrier than January because I'm like, this shit's still happening. Don't even get me started on March. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Well, let's get to March when we get to March. Stuart, do you feel differently about February or does it also inspire rage in you the way it does with Dan?

Well, my birthday's in February, so I kinda like it, you know? Right? I like that. Okay, yay and nay pro and con on February. So we're thinking of a gloomy, wintry birthday type of movie. It's also a short month. It is a short month. So you want like a short movie.

Honestly, that's why I hate it less than March, because it's short. So here's the thing, if there's not a movie that comes to mind that exists, what if we made one up, guys? What if we made up a February movie? A short, wintry, birthday movie. What would that movie be like? Who would be in it? What would it be about? So, it's a wintry birthday, Jack Frost could be having a birthday. Jack Frost's birthday, sure. Jack Frost is having a birthday. And yeah, he's mad.

Marrying a snowman. So it's a birthday wedding? Maybe he's mad because his birthday should be February 29th, but not every year is a leap year. So that's why he's going to freeze the earth so it stops turning and it's always February 29th. Totally Pisces behavior right there, baby. What I also like about this is it has like three premises now, which is par for the course for modern films. So we'll probably get the green light on this one.

Do you remember when movies just had a story and you watched it and it was over and then you enjoyed it? Yeah. We would also have to explore why Jack Frost has a birthday, what his relationship to birthdays is so the viewer would be like, wait, he's just having a birthday? Yeah, yeah. That doesn't make sense at all. We have to show him as a little kid when he was little Jackson Frostowitz before he professionally

changed his name. Sure. Yeah. Okay. so I think we've got it What's the name of this February movie? Uh Go on I'm just saying that I feel like frost needs to be in the title frost Nixon. You got it. It's called frost Actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I would also you could also call it the longest February It just keeps going, you know, because he freezes the movie. It actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah. You could also call it the longest February. It just keeps going, you know?

Because he freezes the earth, yeah. Okay, let's move on to March. What do we know about March? March, similarly, often cold, but not as much near the end of it, you know? Basketball time, March, people are literally driven insane, and the only thing that can cure it is basketball. Now-

I feel like a good March movie would be something like, I don't know like Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the ring because they're marching all over creation They do March a lot. That's true. That's a good point music man has a lot of marching in it Yeah, they're straight clearly not set in March, but you know, that's maybe what I'm thinking of it too. Literally, you know I'm sure I mean obviously it's different in other parts of the country. Here in New York, like people are always like,

yeah, it's March, it's almost spring. I'm like, you have forgot, like every year you seem to forget it is not. It is essentially February part two is what March is. There's a lot of slush on the ground. Yelling at them. So here's the movie I'm thinking. So here's the here's the movie I think of a cranky old man who's mad that everybody else is looking forward to the spring too early and he's like everyone's calling

Let's call him Stan Let's call him Stan Ragoi and yeah, and he's got to learn how to find his inner March hair. That's right And he's got to learn how to find his inner March hair. That's right. There's a magical rabbit that is going to teach him the wonders of March and then it's okay to look forward to spring. How about that? And that rabbit's name is Blarvey? Yeah, Blarvey.

Which, I don't know, I mean, that implies that he's like the Black Harvey, which I mean, I mean, it's fine. There's nothing wrong with that yeah the Tracy Jordan 30 Rock movie that does feel like a 30 Rock joke is Tracy Jordan's gonna be a remake of Harvey. Okay well we'll figure out the rabbits name later or never again we're never talking about this ever again let's move on to April. April, look, Dan, can you at least admit that April is when spring has arrived? Yeah, no, like, look.

What makes it the cruelest month? Yeah, because it seems like it's when things are getting better, yeah. I'm imagining that maybe it's because it teases you. Like, you think that, you know, better times are here but not yet. The most obvious movie for this month is a little movie starring Katie Holmes, nieces of April.

Yeah. I mean, her name is April, right? That's the movie where she's frozen with liquid nitrogen and shatters and her family has to put her back together again. I mean, it is, I believe, a Thanksgiving movie. It is very, very clearly a movie about Thanksgiving. That's true. That's the confusing part about signing it.

Not since Home for the Holidays has there been a Thanksgiving movie so overtly about the holiday. For sure. That's a Thanksgiving in. Not since Home for the Holidays has there been a Thanksgiving movie so overtly about the holiday. But sure. That's a Thanksgiving movie, right? Home for the Holidays? Yes. Yeah, okay. Jodie Foster's directorial debut.

We could get one of those actors who like edits things as a hobby to like just edit all the Thanksgiving stuff out of pieces of April and then that'll be our April movie. I like that. Instead of getting a professional editor to do it, we're getting like how, was it Tofer Grace who edited all the Star Wars prequels together into one movie? Yeah, I think that's who I'm thinking of. To have that time on your hands. Oh, what a fantasy.

So okay, so for April, I guess, yeah, we're just taking Pieces of April and editing all the Thanksgiving stuff out. Maybe we can add in some lines like, what, I can't wait for spring to really get here. You know, we could do that. Still surprisingly chilly. Another option, you could do like how high or half baked because April 20th is 420, guys.

I think how high might be hard because that's about the beginning of the school year, right? Like they're going to, or am I thinking of a different movie? Yes, I think you're right. Yeah. Because isn't how high the one where they're going to Harvard because they've got super smart weed? Is that it? Right. I think that's it.

I have not seen the big... I remember enjoying that one. ...weed movies. I've never seen how high, I've never seen Baked, I've not seen a Cheech and or a Chong together. Is it simply so that when you would be talking to a drug dealer you'd be like, sorry man I can't, I have nothing to talk to you about. I'm like, oh you like movies, do you like this one? You're like, sorry. They're gonna, yeah. Just the transaction.

My heart sinks when they're like, have you seen Smiley Face? I'm like, yeah, I have seen Smiley Face. I have to admit, I have seen Smiley Face. Sorry. And that's what happens with the rest of the conversation. Oh, you know, just a recap of Smiley Face. What's funny about Smiley Face. Okay. Is that that horror movie where people smile and then they die?

It's called Smile. Oh, okay. Smile, the movie about the, Smile smile the movie about the beauty pageant Oh, no, you're thinking yeah, the Michael Richie 70s yeah film. Yeah different one. Okay turns out there's a lot of movies about smiling Yeah, that's a boy for the flop house What it's it's probably one of the top two most common facial expressions in film smiling And it's arguably what most movies are trying to get you to do yeah yeah most movie is like May December

whether or not whether or not that was their achieve that goal so let's move on so April we didn't really we didn't really fully get there but that's okay I thought I did a really good job I really fully get there, but that's okay. Hey, let's talk about a really good job I throw out so many options. No, that's good options. Let's talk about May. Shall we may Spring is springing the May flowers are blooming Guys, they got a movie. It's called may Digging deep I think you're getting hung up on the titles. You're not necessarily digging deep. I'm looking, yeah, I'm thinking Meadows,

running through Meadows maybe. Yeah, yeah, allergies, sure, yeah. Yeah, at first I was like. Is the right movie for May just a Claritin commercial? Yeah. I feel like My Girl's more of a summer movie because they're on vacation. Because it's the summer in the movie

Yeah, and summer is traditionally the season when McCauley Culkin dies of a bee sting. Yeah. Yeah every year would uh, so wait, uh He's confused is that like end of May or early like early June I think I mean I don't know when remember when school years end I don't know when Texas school years end especially but but yeah, but that could be, maybe that's the end of May. It's got a good vibe though, a good spring vibe. Yeah, it's not quite a summer vibe too. Yeah, it's not, even though it's schools letting out,

it's not quite the summer vibe. So I guess we could say Dazed and Confused. Sure, yeah, I guess that's our May movie. Now, let's do one more movie before we, what? I was just saying we may, you know. Wish I hadn't stopped to find out what you told me you said. Sort of, so do I. I misheard it and I was like, surely Dan has a banger

and I just want to make sure it gets the attention it deserves. It was more of a... Actually, Dan, do you want to give that another pass? I'd say it was more of an Elliot where it's like, oh, maybe that pun wasn't needed to derail the next thing that we were going to go on to. Wow, okay, I'll say fewer jokes on the podcast, Dan. No, no, everyone loves it. Everyone loves it.

Everyone loves it. My mom, she tells me I'm cool. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Brolin Mars laughs at you all the time. I listen to it. Yeah, all these totally real people, you wouldn't know them. They go to school in Canada. They go to school, all these Canadian girlfriends of mine, yeah, they all think I'm hilarious.

They're models. Yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't have seen't have seen either. I don't have I don't have like a picture picture That's why I had to cut a picture of my girlfriend out of a magazine to show it to you. Yeah So let's move on to June. Don't say Benny and June Stewart. Like just not it's not about the month of June But it's spelled the same it's not spelled the same Stewart It's not spelled the same, Stuart. It's not Stuart. How do I get through to you? The spelling of the month, June. So, June, it is the end of the school year.

The summer is here and people couldn't be happier. What's it? Dancing in the streets. Yeah, people are dancing in the streets. What is a what's that? I mean, it could be a schools out movie. There's plenty of those, you know, none come to mind at the moment. Like recessed schools out. Yeah.

What's a, like an, like not a hot summer movie, but like a pleasant summer movie. Yeah. It's still kind of springy. Yeah. Yeah. Your whole life's a Hedaya type summer movie. Yeah. I mean, this could be, it's not not kids are not quite going to camp yet, you know Probably that's more of a July thing. I think

So what's going on? What's a movie that's about June then? I mean also this is an experience of kids school going out for many adults June is just another month in the endless death march that is professional careers. Yeah Yeah, that's right. Carousel has a song about how June is busted out all over, but that's just the one song. Yeah. So that probably doesn't apply. There's not a lot of June specific material in Carousel otherwise.

Yeah. Yeah. It gets more problematic than June focus. Very much so. I liked this play when it was about June. I didn't like the second act so much. People dying, getting hit. I don't like it. Who's this character?

This character? Old person who just walked out of a production carousel. A focus group? Sure, I'll tell you what I thought. On a scale of one to ten, the June material? Ten out of ten. Loved it. I also enjoyed the stuff about Clambakes and how they were real nice. Carousel.

Some very little lyrics in that. They are going to have a real nice Clambake. Is that a movie or is it a... Yeah, they did a movie of it. They did a movie, okay, that's cool. It's a ride. At Universal Studios, Carousel the movie, the ride, yeah. What a ride, too. You better walk with your head held high through this storm

because the rain is blowing in, and they hit you with the blowers and the water, yeah. You know, it's like a 4DX experience, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. So, I think that covers June, right? I guess Twister. Twister. We found it at the end, 4DX, Twister.

Yeah, Twister, the perfect June movie. Yep, okay. Let's go with Twister? Yeah, Twister, the perfect June movie. Yep, okay. Let's go with Twister. So, hey everybody, we're gonna take a quick break as we reach the middle of the year just to talk about some Flophouse stuff that's going on. As you may remember from the announcement at the top of this episode,

Flop TV season two has begun. That's right, Flop TV season two. As of the release of this episode, I believe we will only have done the first episode of Flop TV 2 that was Robocop 2. But coming up on the first Saturday in October, that's October 5th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, we'll be broadcasting live on your computer

if you have a ticket. We're talking about Break-In into Electric Boogaloo, the second episode of Flop TV season two. Can't make it to the live broadcast, that is okay. Your ticket or your season pass gets you access to the video right after the show happens. And that video is gonna stay up through the end of February. You can watch as many times as you want

in whatever order you want, with whoever you want. I'm not judging, just enjoy it. Anytime through the end of February, season passes and individual tickets. You can get individual tickets, but the season pass is a six show bundle, six shows for the price of five. And it does get you access to that first episode.

So in case you missed it, there's still a reason to get that season pass. Go to theflophouse dot simple ticks dot com and Pulling back the curtain recording this the day after our first episode RoboCup 2 and guys I had a lot of fun I thought it was really great. Yeah, and I really enjoyed it and yeah, you know RoboCup 2 yeah, well, I mean the movie was fun to watch but also the show that we did was good Oh, yeah, I'll make it clear again, you are not buying a ticket to watch RoboCop 2.

Yeah. You will only be watching. We don't have the rights for this. No, we don't have the rights, both legally or morally, to do that. We are watching, but it is us talking about it, it is a kind of one hour condensed version of the Flophouse where you get to see us,

but there's also some fun video stuff, there's some new interstitial things that we're doing. It is a slowly transforming into a professional television show production. Yeah, watch us metamorphose over the years from like a gooey caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. I don't know why the caterpillar is gooey. I actually have never seen a gooey caterpillar.

No, they are not gooey. They are soft and surprisingly harder than you think they're gonna be. They're kinda cute. Yeah, we have a, we are currently, my younger son is growing a silkworm right now, raising it so that it can become a- Oh yeah, so he can start providing for the family.

Exactly, thank you. It's time for him to earn his keep. And that thing is growing huge. We keep being like, when is this thing gonna pupate? It's getting enormous. So soon I'll have to drive it around in my car. That's how big it's going to be. It's just squirting silk all over creation.

At some point you're like, oh my God, that's not a silk warp. But then it's too late. It's a Mexican sewerette. Just like in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Well, Flophouse 2. Flophouse Season 2. Flop TV. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, go to Flop, for Flop TV tickets, and then go to theflophouse.simpleTix.com.

["The Flop House"] Hello, internet. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy. And this is a promo for Schmaners. It's Extraordinary Etiquette. For ordinary occasions. Every week, we're gonna tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette still applies in the modern day,

all that stuff. We also love to do biographies and histories of and, you know, general procedurals, how to do etiquette in today's society. So come check it out every Friday on maximum fun dot org or wherever you find your podcasts. Maners maners. Get it. My name is Doug Dugang and I'm here to talk about my podcast in the middle of the one you're listening to. It's called Valley Heat and it's about my neighborhood, the Burbank Rancho Equestrian District, the center of the world when it comes to foosball, frisbee golf and high-speed

freeway roller skating. And there's been a Jaguar parked outside on my curb for 10 months. I have no idea who owns it. I have a feeling it's related to the drug drop that was happening in my garbage can a little over a year ago. And if this has been a boring commercial, imagine 45 minutes of it. Okay, Valley Heat, it's on every month on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Check it out, but honestly, skip it.

These are the Chronicles of the Rancho-Equestra District in Burbank, California. These are the events taking place in my house and around my house. Do you guys have any other announcements before we jump back into the months I like on film? Milf? I mean, I know Stuart does some Twitch streams. If I try to do a regular weekly Twitch stream where I hang out for an hour or two building and painting Warhammer models.

If you have any dying... If you're dying to ask me any questions or chat with me, that's a good place to find me. And my Twitch account is just Stuart Wellington over on Twitch. And yeah, I usually do weekday afternoons. And I'll say a couple of newsletter things. The Flophouse has a newsletter called Flop Secrets that comes out a couple times a month.

You can go to flophousepodcast.com and right on the front page, if you just put your email in there, you can sign up and you'll get news about us you know maybe some side things that we're doing that we don't have time to mention on the podcast or whatever some extra writing to make it fun and I have a personal newsletter called Dan McCoy's special interests if you go to Dan McCoy interests.com you can sign up for that. It's pop culture commentary, personal

essay hybrid sort of stuff with jokes in it. Yeah, I like them too. Let's let's tell some more everybody. Oh, and also if you're in a comic book store, why not check out Disney Hercules from Dynamite Comics written by me on store shelves. Now it's a fun story that continues the tales of the characters from the Disney Hercules movie. But let's get back into the months, everybody, back to MILF, months I like on film. A word that the people at Disney probably don't want me

to mention so close to my mention of the Hercules series. But what are you going to do? This is our show and nobody's our boss, as I mentioned earlier. So we've established January through June. I think we did a great job. If I can remember, let's see, January is one of those wintry kind of sad movies. February was a movie about Jack Frost being mad about his birthday.

March was Stan Rogoy getting mad that people are looking forward to the spring and having to learn a lesson from a rabbit. April is pieces of April with Thanksgiving stuff edited out of it. May, to be honest, I feel like we didn't really land on much of anything, did we? We said Dazing Infused. Oh, Dazing Infused, that's right, Dazing Infused. And June, oh, maybe June is the one where we kind of... Well, we sort of landed on Twister as a default at the end.

Oh, that's right, Twister. So, Twister. So, I hope you guys will help me keep track of this at the end of the episode too, because I've already forgotten some of them. And of course, anyone out there, you know, program a film series with these films, like do a marathon in your home. Yeah, I mean, Dan's probably going to, after this, immediately set up a little letterbox for the made-up movies, I guess. Just tell those to yourself in your head.

Yeah, yeah. Just you get to make the movie. Gather all the younglings around the fire and tell that story. Yeah. Act it out. So let's go to July. It's summer now. There's a lot of things you can do with July.

It's summer camp, summer vacation. Well, you know it's got to star Will Smith because that guy was the king of July for a while. He, the Fourth of July. It's got to star Will Smith, because that guy was the king of July for a while. He was the king of July. Fourth of July weekend, that is Will Smith's weekend. You don't see him in a lot of huge blockbuster movies these days. I wonder why that is. That's weird.

Dan, do you remember, did something happen? I seem to recall an incident occurring. Okay. So maybe- Oh, are you talking about the time that Chris Rock's face attacked Will Smith's hand on live television? That's it.

Yeah. That's what happened. Okay, so it's a Will Smith movie. Is it a big action blockbuster, big science fiction thing? Yeah, it's called Independence Day. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. That is a pretty-

I mean, that's pretty much, you got to go with that. That's about as July a movie as it gets. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah, it's important. If you can come up with a more July movie Yeah, I mean born on the fourth of July is surprisingly little July content in that movie. Yeah Most of Miranda July's movies aren't specific to the season. No, not at all. Not at all I don't think Cajillion airs really really is much of a July film in many ways. Yeah, Independence Day, you heard it first. The movie that...

I'm doing really good at Elliott's games. Yeah, I guess. You are doing great. Dan, you gotta open your mind a little bit, you know? Yeah, you're right. You know, I'm sorry. But okay, let's go on to the next one. August, and now Stuart's gonna say August Osage County.

Let's, I don't know that, I've never seen it. I don't know if it's actually in August. So here's something that just occurred to me. So I, I stay gonna take you issue with the way I'm running this this Staying on the blockbuster action Theme the first thing that came to my mind for August was die hard with a vengeance which starts with You know hot town summer in the city like part of the thing is like, oh, it's a hot summer in the city, like on top of all of- Well, how's the back of your neck feeling?

Dirt and gritty. Oh, that sounds terrible. Man, I think it's shower, dude. But like, it- To have gritty, the hockey mascot on your neck. In addition to everything else that is going wrong, tempers are flaring because it's hot in the city. Yeah, because it's so hot.

But I just remember that part of that movie is there's bomb threats in schools. Why are these kids in schools in the hot part of the city? That confuses me now. Maybe it's the start of the school year or. Maybe the start of the school year or it could be a summer school.

Could be summer school. Unfortunately, there's no films about summer school, so we It could be the start of the school year or it could be a summer school. It could be summer school. Unfortunately, there's no films about summer school, so we don't know if that's a concept that exists. That actually is a pretty good August suggestion. That's Dan, yeah, your complaint, your old man unnecessary complaint about Die Hard with a Vengeance has led us around to possibly the perfect August movie. It all has value.

Summer school, Mark Harmon's masterpiece. By masterpiece, I mean the performance he delivers as... What's his character's name again, Dan? Summer T-School. The T stands for the... Yeah. You wouldn't call it Dean Cameron's masterpiece or would you put one of the ski schools in there?

I can't choose between my children, Dan. Yeah. It's hard. All right. Yeah, hard. All right. Yeah, let's say summer school. Why not? Okay. So August is summer school.

July was Independence Day. So that's we're not doing two school movies, although Will Smith really schools those aliens in how humans don't give up. Yeah. And you learn a little something about how a MacBook can link up with an alien spaceship. That Apple software also links up with alien software, yes. Look, of all the major plot holes. Of all the things for Cranky Dan to not be upset about.

But yes, explain, Dan. They've had years to study this thing. I always just assumed I'm willing to go with this movie and be like, I don't know, they figured out some fucking way to interface with this thing over the decades. Like that's not one that's gonna bug me necessarily. But, especially in independent state. I'm not looking for rigorous hard sci-fi out of this.

Dan's reacting the way I react when somebody's like, it's ridiculous that an orc would say meat's back on the menu. They've never seen a menu and I'm like, I don't care, bitch. I mean, as the person who has made that point I don't appreciate the the aggressive hostility, but I understand I'm coming after one of your own and going after the Lord of the Rings movies Yeah Speaking of which I I had no interest in watching that rings of power show

Then I found out that Tom Bombadil was in an episode and I was like, uh, maybe I'll just watch that one I gotta see this. Oh, yeah, I haven't even watched that but that episode yet. Do you know which episode and I was like, uh, maybe I'll just watch that one. I gotta see this. Oh, dip. I haven't even watched that episode yet. Do you know which episode that? I think it's called like the House of Tom Bombadil or something like that. Oh, hell yeah. I think he's a pretty big part of the episode.

Is Goldberry in it? I don't know. I haven't seen it. Is Fatty Lumpkin in it? I don't know. I haven't seen it, but it just shows where my head is at. I'm just checking who plays Fatty Lumpkin. I'm not interested until the character

that Peter Jackson decided was too silly for his movies gets put in. Put Tom Bombadil in. You know Bezos is like, hell yeah, we're gonna put in the definitive Tom Bombadil. Now I'm gonna go back to looking like low rent Pitbull over here. ironic since he is worth so much more than Pitbull.

And yet he is not Mr. Worldwide at all. No, not at all. I just love the moment in Lord of the Rings in the books where they're like, why don't we just give the ring to Tom Bombadil and they're like, he would just lose it or something. Look, he's very powerful, but he's also kind of a flake. Have you heard these songs he sings about himself?

I mean, if I was all powerful and eternally ancient, I think I'd just walk around singing songs about myself too, you know, so I may relate to him. I feel seen when I read about Tom Bombadil. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's the Elliot character, the Lord of the Rings. Oh, for sure, for sure. Either that or... Super powerful, the Lord of the Rings. Oh, for sure, for sure. Either that or- Super powerful, everybody knows your name. I mean, exactly.

Literally woods. Who are the, what is it? Is it Mary and Pippin? Are they the friends that come along with it? I could see myself being one of those guys too, just getting it, not being in over his head. Okay, August, we've established summer school. Now it's September.

Ironically, in my notes, I have start of school year, but I feel like we've hit the school thing a little already. What's a September movie? Let's not say the movie September. I've never seen it. It's one of Woody Allen movies that I haven't seen It's the movie that they reshot the he shot it with one actor and then reshot it with an entirely different actor playing that part I can't remember who the actors were who were in it So September what's a September movie? We can think about the song September. Did they ever make a movie out of that?

Hmm. I don't know. I feel like something like Back to the Future. OK, explain. It kind of feels like the start of a school year, but it's also kind of like you're worried about time and the passage of time and looking backwards. I don't know. Yeah, it's weird.

I guess so, I don't get real fall vibes from it. Is that I get more fall vibes from Teen Wolf. But September doesn't often feel very fall. It feels, you know, and it technically isn't until two thirds of the way through the month. Yeah, I don't have to live by those rules. I don't have to wait for the months. Elliot lives in California, a place where months do not exist. I mean't have to wait for the months. Elliot lives in California,

a place where months do not exist. I mean, that's the other thing is in California, the variation in weather is so minimal. But okay, you know what? You guys, you know, season's better than me. You live in New York. All right, back to the future is our September movie. I want to argue with you.

I mean, of the three of us, I think Stuart and Dan are the real New Yorkers here. Wow, wow. So rough. You're thrown. I've still lived in New York for longer than I lived anywhere else in my life. But yeah, okay. And the second place was New Jersey, you know, which is kind of like New York's little brother that wants to get on the action. But New York is like, when you're older, when you're older. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Check the scoreboard. But I think Stuart and Dan are still on top. I guess if we add the amount of time you guys have lived together, and you have lived in New York together, combine it. It's the best time you guys lived as roommates. We got to clean up the scoreboard, by the way. It's keeping score in so many different things. It is a messy scoreboard. Yeah. Losing the value.

Very hard to read. I think in the last in the last episode you just got two points for something I don't even remember what it was. Yeah points unrelated to this So yeah, so moving on so September as said by the true fall New Yorkers Dan and Stu September is back to the future Let's go to October now. Here's the thing the ob that it feels like the most obvious thing for October Would be to choose a Halloween movie. That's just one day out of the month. That's just the last day, you know? No, I know.

Most of October is not Halloween. I still wanna toss out the- Looking at the numbers, 30 31sts, 30 31th of October is not Halloween. That's true, but I still wanna toss out the movie, Trick or Treat, which I feel has, like it's about Halloween, but it has such autumnal vibes. Like it is-

It does feel very autumnal, that's true, yeah. Very good at doing, setting that stage. No, I'm into it. Yeah, there's lots of leaves changing color. People wearing sweaters. Yeah, they're not even on trees anymore. They're just, the trees get, that's the time of year. Trees get so- Trees are nude.

They get so lazy, they just drop their leaves. Nude. You want to see some nude trees? Wait, Dan, I want you to keep going with this. Dan McCoy, foliage pervert. Tell us more about how you feel about that time of year when the trees are just totally starkers. Yeah.

It's the thing though, you don't even need to ask them. Like they're just dropping leaves. Like they want you to look at them. That's the thing. You don't feel weird just staring at them? You don't have to like glance out of the corner of your eye? Maybe I would if leaf peeping was not like a thing that everyone does.

Like we'll talk about like all that leaf peeping you got to do. This is the kind of peeping that's right. Yeah, it sounds like, do what you want. I love those leaves. They look even better on my floor. Dan, do you really want leaves all over the floor? I sweep them up, but they're, you know,

not on my floor. Yeah, rake them, yeah. Just like the ground, but yeah. Do you ever accidentally call, when you were a kid, did you ever accidentally call the ground the floor and everybody made fun of you? Yes. Like when you call like the teacher mom on accident. Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, I'll never live this down. I don't. This is a scar forever, yeah. I don't want to call her out, but Audrey will still refer to the ground as the floor sometimes. Wow, wow. But I think I, you know.

And you've been, you're in counseling about this? It's really brave of you to share this story where she can't repeat it. Yeah. I mean, for all I know, it might be idiomatic. It may be like related to- Now you're calling her an idiot. Language differences. I'm positive.

Now, I know we talked about this already and we're kind of done with it, but I did want to say my line for Dan McCoy, foliage pervert. If he's talking to Trini, he goes, hey, why don't you drop those leaves? Show me if the branches match the roots. Anyway, so Dan, use that the next time, I guess you're hitting on a tree. Yes, so this character makes me uncomfortable mostly because I find it so easy to slip into it.

That's a fair point. Okay, trick our treat for October. Trick Ronald's treat. Now let's go on to November, also the fall. To be honest, let's just take those scenes for Pieces of April that we cut out and just stick them in here. Thanksgiving.

I think that works. Because that's what Thanksgiving is all about is just the leftovers. Leftovers, you know, yeah. Yeah, recycling the things you're thankful for every year when you're demanded to recite them, you know Do you guys have to do that? We would have to do that Sometimes my family my dad always would go indoor plumbing. That would be his joke every time it is suggested

But I don't want to you know caught any other members of my family I feel bad that I've done it once already, but it's suggested at Thanksgiving and I don't like it just as a person who does not like to be compelled to speak publicly, like on the spot. Like I love speaking publicly in performance formats, but I don't like being told like, hey, you gotta, but I have, I do feel like.

That all stems back to when you were a kid and you got pulled into that rap battle. And in the rap battle, you meant to say ground, but you said floor and everyone made fun of you. Oh my God. Yeah, no, I was like ground, round, down, and then I got pushed down onto the ground. Which you would call the floor.. Which you would call the floor.

Yeah, you would call the floor. I just don't, I mean, like as I've grown older, like I understand, I appreciate, like it is good to have gratitude for things. Like that is what will make you happier, is to actually think about the things that you are blessed with, but I don't like to be forced to share them publicly.

Yeah, so why don't you tell us some of them right now? Just kidding, just kidding. I'm not interested. Okay, let's moving on. Okay, I'll take you out of my gratitude journal then. Oh no, oh no. I've been working so hard to get into there. You have a journal? I usually write my gratitude on the casings of bullets. What? Yeah, I'm pretty cool. I'm like a badass. Yeah, I just write them on the casings of bullets. What? Yeah, I'm pretty cool.

I'm like a badass. Yeah, I just write them on the casings of sausages. Yeah, just scratch it in there with like a giant Bowie knife. Before we move on to the last month of the year, Dan, is there anything you would like to express gratitude for in this public forum? You know, I get to see you guys and cheer up, uh, you know, regularly earlier today. I was like, oh, we got to record. We just did a thing last night.

You know, like I'm tired, but then immediately seeing your faces. Cheers. Be up. Oh, that's sweet. That's how I feel too. All right. Moving on to the best and worst part of the year, December. People love it and they hate it. And they have different reasons for that.

Oh, there's an obvious one. It should be May dis... Oh, God! Oh, no. Oh, he's caught in the same loop again. Once more. Stu has figured it out. I should have known,

because May's the first word in the title. I mean, we did edit pieces of April, so you just keep... I mean, it could just be the December parts. Again, there's no like December or May parts of the movie necessarily. Yeah, I'm trying to stay away from. I'm willing to bet it doesn't take place

in either of those months, maybe May. I mean, maybe December too, I don't know. As a mixed faith podcast, you know, I would like to steer away from any Christmas things. Thank you, Dan, thank you, I would love that. But that makes it hard, because it is a dominant cultural force. Well, what else goes on in December? Yeah, should we...

It's winter again. This is that... So, in December, I feel like... Solstice. I feel like New York, December, I suppose New York, January is miserable, but New York, December is kind of like the fun December. The snow is still white and fluffy and clean. It's not yet full of dog pee and human pee and garbage and slush yet.

So what if there's like a, what's a nice winter movie or story? Remember, we can also invent these movies. We've been doing a good job of finding real movies, but we can also invent them too. What's an ideal December movie? Ideal December. Oh wait, but that's, I mean, it's kind of a holiday movie, I guess. But I mean, for an honest answer is the Holdovers for me.

Yeah. I just love it so much. That's a holiday movie, but I feel like it is more, if anything, I can appreciate a movie where people are burdened by the responsibility of a holiday, like it is a disruption rather than something they are looking forward to and necessarily enjoying. And it is sort of a secular message about being kind to one another

during holidays that can be difficult. There's none of this Christmas spirit bullshit where everyone agrees there's something magic in the air that makes life better in December thanks to the blessings of Jesus and Santa. Would the holdovers have been made better if there was like a magical, like a spirit of Christmas character

who showed up and saved everything? How would the spirit of Christmas character integrate to the plot of a boarding school student who has to spend the holiday with his cranky teacher? Yeah, yeah, maybe it fixes his eye or something, who knows? Oh, wow. Or fixes his body smell. Yeah, it smells like fish, right? Yeah.

What if they're like, okay, he's already kind of a cranky guy, he has a little bit of a drinking problem, he has an eye that doesn't align right. Drinking problem. And he's lonely. What if we also made him smell like fish all the time? It feels like they're just loaning so much. And he gives everyone the same book.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's say The Holdovers. That's a great one. Yeah, and that's one of my favorite movies of, was that last year? You know? Easily. It was really good.

Why don't they make more movies about The Holdover? Like The Holdover, I was saying- Why don't they make movies about The Holdover? I was saying, like the whole thing you were saying- The Holdovers 2. The Holdovers 2, the making of The Holdovers. I would kind of love to see what Alexander Payne would do with like a sequel to one of his movies. Bring in Stallone and Schwarzenegger to join The Holdovers.

Yeah, yeah, Jason Statham. He's now teaching at a school where it's all action professors. Let him, yeah, that does sound... Oh guys, we ruined The Holdovers. But we've made the year better with all of these movies. Let's remind the listeners again, so they can, as Dan said, program the perfect movies for each month. January, let's say, sweet hereafter,

start off with a real bang of joy in January. February, of course, is a made-up movie about a cranky old man who hates that, oh no, February is the... is the March. That's March. Is Jack Frost. That's the made-up movie about Jack Frost and his birth being mad about his birthday. Yeah. And what would that movie be called? I think we called it Frost Nixon. I thought you called it Frost Nixon or Long February. That's right. Frost Nixon, Cole in the Long February. Yeah. And we'll have to figure out who Nixon is. Maybe the snowman he's marrying is named Nixon, I don't know.

Or maybe it's Mojo Nixon, I don't know. Anyway, so in March, then we've got the movie about the cranky old man who's learning that it's okay to anticipate the spring, even though the weather is still miserable. April is, of course, as we all remember, the parts of Pieces of April that are not Thanksgiving specific,

that have been edited together. May, what was our movie for May? Stuart, you had one that you thought was perfect. The Days of Confusion. Days of Confusion, that's right, that's right. June, of course, is... What was it? What was it?

June was Twister, that's right. June was the classic June movie, Twister. What other one would it be? July, of course... It's like we're fucking playing Poggle or something and we're trying to remember the stupid pattern. July, of course, was Independence Day, the most July movie perhaps ever made. August, then, was Summer School, perhaps a super August movie. September, we can all remember was. Can we?

September was about something, oh wait, Back to the Future. That's right, September for some reason I can't really remember was Back to the Future. I'm just going to let that one slide because the episode is ending. Yeah, you just want to watch Back to the Future. Yeah, if you want, you need a reason to watch Back to the Future, go ahead.

I'll give you September as that reason. October was Trick or Treat. We fell into the Future. Yeah, if you want, you need a reason to watch Back to the Future, go ahead. I'll give you September as that reason. October was trick or treat. We fell into the hole of Halloween, the Halloween trap, but that's okay. November, of course, we're now using the pieces of Pieces of April that we didn't use previously, just the Thanksgiving parts. It's like a memento-style payoff. Oh yeah, Yost, you're putting them in backwards too. Okay, great.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, or it says, you know, maybe there's a recap previously on pieces of April, back in April. And December, of course, is the Holdovers. I mean, which, if I watched the Holdovers every year at December, I'd be very happy doing that. But I already have a movie I watch every year at December, The Taking of Pelham 123, which I watch on my birthday pretty much every year. Guys, thanks for walking with me through the month on this episode of MILF, Months I Like

on Film, a sub podcast of the Flophouse Podcast. We are of course, a Maximum Fun podcast. Please go to MaximumFun.org to try out other Maximum Fun podcasts. There's a lot of great ones and maybe even become a member. We would appreciate your pledges monthly. And you'll hear more about that next year during the Pledge Drive. Our show is produced by Alex Smith.

He is available on the internet to hear things from. He's not available to rent. Under the name of Howell Doddy. Please look up his name. If you have the cash, who knows? He has a new album out, right? What's it called? I Need Help.

I Need Help. I Need Some Help, I think. I Need Some Help. Oh, I Need Some Help. And the music without lyrics was used in our Flop TV Season Two trailer, right? Yeah, and also the sizzle reel for the Robocop 2 show I just posted.

Oh, exciting. I will share that. Again, Flop TV has returned with season two. Go to theflophouse.simpleTix.com to buy tickets for that. And other than that, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you having fun with us today passively. Well, we did all the active work of talking about movies and months. The heavy lifting.

You got to do the easy part. Yeah, you're very welcome. Next time, maybe chime easy part. You're welcome. Yeah, you're very welcome. Next time, maybe chime in a little bit, listener. Yeah, come on. And until that next time, I am Elliot Kalin. I've been Dan McCoy. And I'm Stuart Wellington. Yee-haw.

Bye. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported. Directly.