The Flop House - FH Mini 12 - Flop House: The Movie!

Episode Date: July 25, 2020

In perhaps our silliest episode yet, Elliott and Stuart try and pitch a Flop House movie to Dan, who... we guess owns a studio in this scenario? Whatever. Just listen.

Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house mini for the week. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington, the thing is like, I don't think we've codified the way we get into these minis the same way we have for our regular episodes. So I'm just trying to shit out, you know. But I like it better than the previous standard which was us reminding you to introduce us. Yeah, it's always a messy, messy entrance. But you know what, I'm a fiend for the drama, so whatever. Yeah, well, so to explain to anyone who had the misfortune of coming in on this episode,

normally we are podcasts where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. That is every other week. We have taken to doing slightly shorter, not so much recently, slightly shorter episodes and off weeks about whatever strikes are fancy. But before we get into this mini-sode, Elliot, I think you wanted to say something off the top. Yes, I would say mini-sode is a combination of two words, mini, for miniature, and so from... Yep.

Soda? Oh, yep. It's like one of those tiny bottles of soda that you get on a planet. And sod from soda. Oh, it's like one of those tiny bottles of soda that you get on a plane. It's a portmine tove. Yeah, it's where you bite the little wax top off of the low bottle and then you suck the delicious soda out of the soda bottle. Exactly, exactly. And that's exactly what I wanted to say, also in addition to that. I wanted to mention that, hey, we're currently in the midst of a kind of

cool casual, low-intensity, extra-long, max-1 pledge drive. That's right, everybody. We're just kicking back, taking it easy, and asking you to take a moment to support the podcast and podcast network that you love. We are always grateful for our members, max- Max from members are literally the people who give us the ability to keep the show going, who make it worthwhile in terms of time, in terms of effort, in terms of energy, and help keep the lights on. Even though right before we start recording, one of Dan's lights went off disastrously. So...

Oh my God, I can't believe you brought that up on the show. I think, guys, I'm very excited. God, it looks like such an idiot. No secret cast on this one. What a moron with his lights that don't work. They don't say, anyway, this is all about helping us make this show, but because, I shouldn't say but yet, because Max von is audience supported.

Most of our money that we make from the show, the vast majority of it, comes from you, the members. And that means that we're not beholden to some big corporation that tells us what we can and can't talk about. No, we get to do the shows that we want to do, and it's all thanks to you, so we really appreciate it. We know that this is a difficult time, it is for all of us, and that means that it might not be the easiest

time to make a contribution to join or to raise your membership level. But if you can, we'd really appreciate it because it really helps us out and keeps the wolf away from our door. It's getting closer. Oh no. Anyway, we had to pay a lot for that sound effect. So again, if you could become a member, that'd be great. You just go to maximumfund.org slash join and choose a monthly amount that's comfortable for you. It could be as low as $5 a month, maybe $10 a month, or if you're already giving that.

And you feel like now's the time that you feel comfortable upgrading, that you can afford it, and we've been doing a better job than before until you think we deserve it. That's certainly not going to be the case. I mean we are certainly doing more of a job. I don't know if it's a better job. Yeah. Then you can upgrade as high as 20, 35, even $100 per month or more. It's about what works for you. This is something that again, you don't need to do it. It just helps us out. And it's thanks to your support that we can keep making this the show that it is. And bring it to you now pretty much weekly.

So thank you very much. Dan will be back later to tell you about some of the things you might get in return. Am I going somewhere before that? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Dan has to go fix his light, which you. Yeah. See, it's in's in it's working

I guys in case you're worried about me. I'm doing fine. I kicked my power strip. Don't Send me light bulbs as I know that the rabbit listener wants to do like Danny's light bulbs you screamed to yourself You rush to the The nearest mailbox on the street and you try to shove light bulbs into it and that's not a you can't do that anymore. They don't have that little door. They don't have the door. Now it's just a slot. Yeah. So you're just breaking a bunch of light bulbs and now you've got a bloody hand and that doesn't help anyone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it was messy, but it wasn't dangerous. Because they heard how much you loved mangoes. And you heard it.

That's a pretty sweaty way to bring mangoes into the conversation, but. No, he's not sweating at all. He's looking cool as a cucumber over this Skype call. So that's maximumfund.org slash join. We'll be back to ask you for money. Again, later in the show. Now, turning to sports in high school sports news,

there weren't any right now. It's the summer and also there's a pandemic. So instead, let's imagine what the high school sports would be like if they were happening right now. Doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle. Now Dan, go into your famous high school sports routine. Hey, pass that over here. Yeah, sure. What game are we playing? I need the ball for the board about it. Here we are. Here we are in Lawrence Kansas playing high school football. We're as always we're doing it with Tri-State Area accents. All my life I wanted to be a football guy. That's the term right? As long as I can remember.

So I even fucked up the joke. Anyway, so. No, and then he goes, he gives him money, goes, you got tackled and you didn't say nothing. Good job. Good on you. Good on you. You did good. So that's from the, that's what it says in the movie. That's March, that's March, that's the movie. Foot fellas. What, what if that was what happened? If like someone got tackled in football,

the opposing team dragged you off somewhere and interrogated you. Now, now I'm going to constantly be thinking about shout out to get Martin Scorsese a Marty, foot fellas. I liked it. What was it? Condundoon was the one that he was saying? Yeah, yeah. Yep. I think that's their integrity. I think about that line like once a day. Wait, what is that from?

That's from the sopranos. From the sopranos. Oh, okay. Christopher, Michael and Perioli. He sees March Gorsese and he just yells out Cundoon. And I liked it. That is great. So Dan, so when they interrogate the football player, the other team, they're like, tell us who you work for.

And he's like, oh, the coach. I mean, a little larger since the manager. And I guess we're all kind of working for NFL, just in general. Wow, wait a minute, this is Woody Allen. Woody Allen improvises. I'm gonna think of it. the advertisers kind of pay our bills. So do we work for Doritos?

I don't know. Yeah. And they get to our real crisis. They follow it down the line. Yeah, it's a real crisis of identity. Who do I work for? Who am I endangering my health and my mental stability for? Is it for the coach, the owners of the team, the NFL commissioner, or Doritos? Is it for the love of the game?

If I'm honest with myself, I'm most comfortable with doing it for Doritos, the crispy crunch, the nacho cheesy flavor, or occasionally cool ranch, and the fact that it comes in such a pleasing to open bag. And to the bags bags they don't have a little windows anymore right the old Doritos bags they had little windows you can see how low you're again they still have those ones that are like you know like like plump Doritos they're like three dimensional Doritos like like they're like yeah they're like still a triangle but they're like puffed. Yeah, I don't know. You're asking the wrong person.

Sounds good to me. Yeah. Let me ask the brothers, Friedo, L.A. See if they know. So as long as we're pitching products, Elliot, I think that you came with a notion you might want to start pitching to. I mean, technically it's Elliot and Stuart. I think we both get equal credit on the screen, boy.

So here's the thing, and Stu just feel free to jump in whenever. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. So the flop house is all about movies, right? Will you watch them? We love them? Or we don't love them? But either way, we're watching them.

And at this point, it's the flop house has gone into so many different media. We're a podcast, we're a radio show, we're a book series, we're a lifetime original movie, we're a hallmark holiday movie, we're a deodorant, we're a foot soap, don't use that soap anywhere but your foot. I'm so sorry, but we have to make that clear. The lawsuit stipulated we had to make it clear. It's just for the bottom of your foot, just the toughest, most durable part of your body. Don't use on any of your, I'll see your skin,

just the bottom of your foot. Please. Maybe we should get to the point though. Yeah, okay, so it's time for the flopp house to finally move into the world of movies. That's right, movies. People love them like us on the flopp house. We love them them or sometimes we don't love them, but either way we love them. So we're up here to pitch you Dan, Dan McCoy, head of MGM Studios, which

again is McCoy, Gukoy, McCoy Studios. You named it yourself three times, but the second time you got hit on the head and you thought your name was Gukoy for a little bit. And by that time I'd file the paperwork I guess. Yeah, you'd already file the paperwork. We wanted to pitch you on the flop house, the movie, the story of three guys we're going to have a little bit of a wait a minute. Oh yeah, yes.

I've heard of hot dog the movie, but flop house the movie You haven't heard about it. You're right because it's not a real movie yet We were anticipating this question actually Yeah, how this process works is right to bring you a new movie that doesn't exist yet in the hopes that you would help us Do sit I'm sorry. I recently had a head injury apparently Yeah, no, no, we're well aware we We read the story in Gariety as you called it at the time. And the Gollywood Gaporter.

I don't know why you were in charge of renaming the magazines for that day, but the trades we call them. So let's trade you something. Let's trade your question for an answer. Yes. Fought House the Movie. What is it? Well, we'll tell you. It's a movie and it

goes a little something like this. Okay. We all know the famous floppers, but do we know how they began? That's right. In the Flawphouse rise of the dawn of the Flawphouse, we'll find out how these three famous podcasters really met. Well, actually, we'll find out how one of them met the other two because when the movie starts Dan a down in his luck divorcee who just can't catch a break He's already he's already roommates with Stuart a ski instructor who also doubles as a karate teacher Okay, now I I'll write away. I like I see that you're diverging from The the real life for what I can only assume are dramatic reasons.

Yeah, yeah. And also because Stuart really wants to communicate his new fighting form of ski rady. Stuart, you want to expand on that a little bit? Yes, a ski rady involves, so have you ever heard of skiing first? I should bring it back. Actually, I mean, that's what destroyed my knee famously. Uh-huh. Yeah. So it never doesn't sense the... I should bring it back. Actually, I mean, that's what destroyed my knee famously. Yeah, I've never done it since then. The key to ski rotti is you have to get say, uh, you get an average person, your regular Joe. Like, let's call him Dan, for instance. Okay. And, and the trick to

the martial art is you put him on some skis and just let him go down a hill and he's gonna beat the shit out of himself. Oh, it's a self martial arts, a self-directed martial art. Here's the thing about it. Perfect for quarantine, you don't need somebody else to spar with. It's all about using your opponents force against them by laying them just rolled down a hill, basically. So, is this, okay, would you then refer to this as sort of like a martial art that you

do for self-improvement and exercises you're doing on your own? Or is it, do you do it this way because you hate yourself and you want to punish yourself? I mainly do it because I'm hoping to get a sponsorship and have it translated into the Mortal Kombat game series. Okay, because I feel like that's the only way that you can beat Scorpion. Because Scorpion is this like, Revenant, he's a Ninja, and I mean, ninjas are all over the place in Mortal Kombat. They're like, falling out of the sky. They're falling out of the sky into the pit, then you're in the pit bottom and you're

bad with them. Guys, we're half of the all the ninjas gone, because I feel like in the late 80s, early 90s, there are all these ninjas all over the place. You couldn't walk down the street without hitting a couple of ninjas and now, no ninjas. We all remember in the early 2000s when the bottom fell out of the ninja market. A lot of those ninjas had to get other jobs.

A lot of them sadly had to be put to sleep because they were just a little too old and injured. And a lot of the ninja schools, they mainly close down. It's all in that documentary American ninja which is all about you know the last ninja school it's located in Bakersfield California in a strip mall and they just don't get the same quality student because there's just not the same job market for ninjas anymore ironically. Did you guys ever go to that ninja themed restaurant

in Manhattan? What there was such a thing? No, I don't know. You go through the waiters come out of hidden doors and shit and they assume they like for your drink they make you lie down in a bed and they like pour the drink down a thread into your mouth. That sounds so you drink it. Amazing, like even without the made up stuff, that sounds amazing. Like I, it's to my great shame that, you know, I mean, now the pandemic is going on,

and I can't go do this, but like I've never been to what is it, Jekyll and Hyde, is that the... Yeah, I mean, you owe it to yourself to go back in time to when you were 14 and then go to Jekyll and Hyde. Okay. But you should, I mean, is it still in business? I think there, I think yeah. And you should go. I know my channel is now.

I mean, Mars 2112 is long gone. Okay. That was, I felt like that was the, that was the PS to resistance of theme restaurants, where you literally had to go through a little like spaceship show to get into the dining room and the idea was that you were on Mars the whole time. And I guess the nadir would be the Guy Fieri's American cafe or whatever it was called. Where the theme of it was just Guy Fieri throwing cheese sauce in your face.

Now, Ellie, I have a question about it. Once again, got to defend Guy Fieri apparently. He's a really good dude. Don't mention it. Don't mention it. It's a lot of my to charity. I'm just judging him by his restaurant. Oh, not at all by his actions as a person. Yeah, the guy's helping to prop up the sunglasses market by putting one sunglasses on the back of his head.

Yeah, he's also prop popping up the frosted tip market which we went way down like it really the bottom fell out of that too. It works hard with climate change, because it's hotter, so you really gotta work harder to keep those tips frosted. They melt. Yeah.

No, I wanted to ask about the Mars restaurant, though, like, what's going on? Okay, now we can get back to my movie page. It's where I'm going. But I really want to get to the bottom of this Mars thing. It was like conceptually, was in a deeper concept in that like, was the idea there are no more restaurants on Earth. We gotta go to Mars. Here's the concept in. Here was the idea there are no more restaurants on earth. We got to go to

the concept in. Here's the concept. There's a restaurant on Mars and you're going to it. That is the extent of the there's no backstory. There's no reason you have to go to Mars. What was the food like? I mean, because I like tubes and ships. I mean occasionally, occasionally I think there was dry ice on the plate. It was just like food. It was not anything special. Chicken pain. Here's my problem is I rarely want to leave my own neighborhood to go to a restaurant, let alone Mars.

So I just, I'm still the flawed concept for the beginning. I mean, the fact that it's been out of business for years, that also point to the flawed concept. All right. Dan's just thing, what's the thing? All right, so Dan's just keeping him honest, you know? Yeah. He's like, look, defunct restaurant, no business for me, you're just not like a patty. So Dan and Stu are roommates.

Dan's always mad that Stu's throwing these crazy ski parties, and Stu's always trying to get his pal Dan to lighten up. But then, uh oh, what should crash land into their apartment one night, but an alien spaceship. And a wrapped up inside is a little dude from outer space whose name is Elliot, and he will not shut up. He just keeps talking.

Uh huh. Is this your way of getting back at ET the extra terrestrial? Like you're like, okay, you're like fucking put me in the second build to an alien. Now I'm the alien you jackasses. To answer your question, Dan, yes, big time. Yeah. Finally, now I get to be the alien on the alien now, dog. Anyway, so they've got to get him, Ellie, the alien who is lovable and he's get to be the alien on the alien now, dog. Anyway, so, they've got to get him,

Elliot, the alien, who is lovable, and he's going to be heavily merchandise stuffed animals, talking dolls, lunch boxes, shitty Atari games, you can name it, we're going to do it. They've got to get him to the Max Fun Rocket. It's the only rocket that can get him up into space, and there's only one way to do that. They're going to have to start a podcast.

But can they start a marginally? I would say no, can they start a successful yet? Let's be honest, maybe third tier podcast. You know, the top tier is like cereal and your second tier would be like, Are we talking about just listership or quality? Both. Wow. Because I feel like the like like no trap we're walking into.

So they're going to have to start a podcast. But how are they going to record it when they're on the run from government agents and a real estate developer that are looking to get this alien? The government, oh there's three people chasing them. Or three groups. There's the government agents who want to get this alien the government eight others three people chase them or three groups there's the government agents who want to get this alien and stick him in a secret lab so you can find out what makes him so hilarious because maybe they could turn that into a military weapon who are amazingly funny he is just off the top of his head off the cuff how does

he do it the government wants to find out yeah this alien much like alph is cats are his natural enemy enemy. I mean, like, I mean, that's like saying, chocolate cake is my natural enemy, which is not a lot of it. I realized that the flaw in what I was saying, as I was saying. When we landed at Normandy, we did not proceed to eat the Nazis stand.

It's not what you do with your enemy usually. But then we gained their strength. No, it's not how it works. So the second group that's after them, this real estate developer who wants to earn Elliot's home planet into condos, and the third one's chasing after them are these big corporate businessmen

who want to turn Elliot into like, you know, a talking doll or something, or it's like Santa Claus the movie. I don't know what they were gonna do with the stuff that the elf gave them in Santa Claus the movie. It seems like they already know how to make toys. So I don't know what like the idea that this elf is like, hey, guess what, I'll sell you the secret of little wooden rocking horses. Oh, that people

can ride. No, they're too small for that. They're just toys you push back and forth. It doesn't seem like the Corpid espionage that we'd really need, you know? Yeah, I think I think we've talked about this before. I can't recall whether it was in direct relation to Santa Claus the movie, but it may have been. It is so amazing to me, the number of movies, ostensibly for children, that take a hard left turn into corporate espy-thos.

Like, these screenwriters have been joyless adults so long that they cannot imagine any other story other than like businesses that war with one another and think that, you know, small children are going to be fascinated by this. They are not. It's like in the movie Big where they're like, you know, the best part about being an adult is getting to dance on a fucking keyboard.

I mean, he does go to the board meetings in that too. Oh, he does? Yeah, he does, he does to toy research and development meetings and I thought he just went to FBO shorts and dance on that fucking keyboard. It's like a relationship for like four hours. It'd be so funny if they did like a kid's cut of big and it's just the stuff kids would do. So it's like 25 minutes long and it's like he wakes up big, he eats that little corn,

he dances on the piano, he touches the ladies boobs and then suddenly he's back home again. Yeah, that's weird. Guys, let's take a little moment here to go back to the Max Fun Drive. I don't, you know, I don't want to kill anyone's moments, I don't want to kill anyone's joy, I just want to say it's the Max Fun Drive. This is the time when we come to you, hat in hand and say, hey, if you've got a little money to spare We do make this thing it takes up a lot of our time

It's a second job or Co-job for many of us at this point and And that's what makes it worth We're doing to some degree look what I love to hang out with my friend Stuart and Elliott without maximum fun, uh, money's sure I would, but would I have done a show for 13 years? Maybe not. It's hard to justify after a certain point. Yeah, there's definitely certain points in my life and schedule where I'm like, if there was in some element of job to this I might have to prioritize my other job. Yeah and I don't make I don't I don't say that to make

anyone sad I mean I think you can tell we are all the best of friends and love one another and love that we are able to do this for you but there's also a little more mercenary rewarded it for us, and we thank you for that. We thank you. It is hard to ask you for money at this time. I have a hard time asking honestly in years where the world is doing perfectly well, but you know, it is still important.

We've heard from a lot of people who have valued the that we do in Maximum Fun, particularly right now, when we're spending a lot of time apart from people and hearing another human in your ears, maybe of great comfort. And so Maximum Fun membership starts at $5 a month. That will get you access to over 200 hours of bonus content, including a lot from us. There's like an eight-part role-playing game that's tourground. Well, it's like we threw a third

job onto the second job of doing the main podcast. Students like, I want to run you guys from another adventure for the bonus content. Oh, how many chapters will this be? Do you have several months free? Well, I mean, you guys have to get into character. We have to do exercises. Yeah, I mean Look people Really love these things that Stewart does And he puts a lot of work into them So I don't want to it's a much into profile. I cannot bad mouth them as much as I Is not my my bag, but people really like it,

and I'm glad that Stewart is doing that for us. Really sell it to him. You're doing a great job. Really sell that bonus. You're like, I don't like it, but maybe you will. No, I love the fact that it exists. I just don't like trying to, anyway. If you choose to join,

if you wouldn't like, if you were trying to impress like a famous person, you wouldn't be like, Hey, I do a podcast and one of the things that it does is this bonus content where my friend makes me play a role-playing game against my will. Here's the thing, if I could go into a fugue state where I don't recall doing the actual role-playing, I would think these are the most amazing things in the world. And I hope that you listeners do as well. And part of the joy is that Stewart has this power over us knowing that this is a fan favorite thing that he can force us to do. But if you choose to join $10 a month, you can

get a Max Fun membership card, a cool pin. Along with your bonus content, pin. Every podcast is an ammo pin. Pin, pin. Yeah, every podcast has its own pin. You can choose one and the flop house one this time. It's got a certain rocket crocodile on it. Space man alligator, I call them.

Do you guys know that's the knockoff? Obviously we all love the flop house pin. Was there another pin that caught your eye? I thought that switch plate. Sister's pin was really great. That's the one I was going to say. I love that saw bones one that says homeopathic means pretend. For the first time there's an iPoddius pin.

Never been done before. I mean, cool. That would be a nice pin to get and then throw in the garbage Oh wow. I mean the money still goes to max funds. So thank you for doing it. I mean all of the pins are great. Honestly, if I was just a listener and not a member of the the max fund network, I would have a very hard time deciding, but I am partial. Not impartial, I am partial to ours this year. It looks really great. It looks really great with you.

So if you want to get those, those thank you gifts, you can go to maximumfun.org join to be slash joined to become a member. And also, nansmuffun.org slash joint. Thank you for reiterating that since I didn't say it that well, the first time around. And because it is a hard time, because it is a weird time, we just want to thank everyone out there

who is in health care, retail, all sorts of essential jobs that are continuing to make society work, no matter how much our own government seems to want it to crumble. We are thinking about you, we are grateful for everything you do, and we hope that our much dumber thing that we do can divert you and we can help in the only way we know how, which is to make really dumb jokes. Are you saying we're not essential workers?

Oh, Ellie, I don't want to break it to you, but no, we are the most essential workers, quite possibly ever. In the history of humanity. Yeah, and thank you to all the protesters too. Well, yes, yes. Yeah, and thank you to all the protesters too. Oh, yes, yes. Um, but back to this pitch. I'm on Tinter hooks to see or hear what happens next. Tinter hooks. Tinter hooks. That's what the hooks that Harold Pinter uses when he needs to scale the wall of a castle key so he can steal away

a duke's treasure. Yep, as Harold Pinter often did. Yes, he's known for it. Fanged cat pertero, Harold Pinter. They say he was so good because he was so silent. It was the silences. The Scarlet Pinter now. Did they call it that? Well, that was when he teamed up with, that was when he teamed up with, uh, with Nell. And, uh, Scarlet Johansson.

It was, it was, it was, it was as a band Scarlet Pinter Nell. And they were kind of like, I guess if, if there's such a thing as like new wave synth garage rock, like that was kind of what they were into Harold Pinter Of course played synths scarlet Johansson drums and now was lead singer and lead vocals which seems like a mistake Yeah, I mean that's what gave them their signature sound her made up wild child language, but hey guys guys what's Harvey? Cut is Harvey Kitell's weiner and now Weiner what I mean is in Harvey Kitelles weiner in that movie? You're talking about god you're thinking of the piano. I'm thinking of the god the piano

Okay, I mean his weiner's in a lot of movies every movie. He's been who but usually it's got pants over it Yeah, I mean it's not like he takes it out and puts it in a jar when it's not called for in a scene. What I don't understand is why Dan is freaking out them talking about weeners all of a sudden. Well, Dan, I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about. Also, I, you know, we got to say if Harvey Kitell's weener is a subject for a future mini-stury. It's a rich topic. I mean, that just I'm teasing people. To be fair, we're not just funded by the pledge drive. We are funded also by sponsors.

And today, sponsor is Harvey Kytel's mini-weeners. Hmm. The next time you're holding a little tiny barbecue, throw a couple of Harvey Kytel's mini-weeners on that itty bitty grill. Yeah, or any other kind of small function you might of small function you might be or large function we don't know we don't know how your function looks once it's erect we don't know it could be hard to tell as many winners are the only tiny sausage Frank further fully endorsed by Harvey Kitell reminds me of the

winners I have at home says Harvey Kitesel right on the package So just crack open a case They're gonna get sued for using his visage They do not have his image rights. It's the only hot dog whose casing replicates the leathery skin of America's favorite tough guy character actor Harvey Kitesel. This is our second penis-based sponsor, by the way, after sweet delicious penises or whatever. That was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. Yeah, that's a real one. So the three groups of bad guys are after the flappers.

And they've got to start this podcast. Of course, along the way, the podcast, they're traveling across the country, actually around in circles for a lot of it, because Dan's having trouble with the directions, and we're like, why it was Dan tasked with dealing with this aspect of it? He gets so stressed out when he can't read the map, and it doesn't look the way he thinks it will. And so they're just going around the country and meanwhile people are loving this podcast that they're broadcasting from their pirate podcast Van, let's call it You're using alien technology to be able to broadcast the podcast live. It's a podcast broadcast from the van and so

There's just more and more people lining the streets with big signs that say we love Elliot Elliot's the best Dan and Sue too, but Elliot mostly. And you know, they're going to have to eventually get passed. Uh oh, what's this? Not just the federal agents, not just the real estate developer and his army of ninjas, that's right, this is where the ninjas come in Stuart. Okay, thank you. Not just the big business guy and his army of what wives butts, Dan, what do you want

to say there? There'd be. Uh wait, sorry, the business guy. is army of what wives butts? Dan, what do you wanna say there be? I don't know. Wait, sorry, the business guy. So yeah, I mean, he has to be part of like an evil organization, right? Wives butts is not an evil thing to- Well, maybe he brainwashes them. I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. He's a whole scene of women washing their butts and it's just for Dan. Okay, I don't need that. I mean, the question of need is, I think, I don't need that I mean the question of need is I think I mean it's not in Maslow's hierarchy Wouldn't you have a buttwash is pretty low but still who needs a flower what does it? It's beauty and it's sweet nectar give us the honey and

And the eye candy that we need and so now they're going to have to deal with uh oh, Elliot's home planet is coming to get him because that's right. Elliot is a thought criminal. His crime, talking too much. Uh oh. So now it's an intergalactic chase. They're using technology from the Max Fun offices, which they get to.. Their managed to turn the van itself into a rocket ship. It also travels through time and can go into people's dreams. And so it's just a phantasmagoric psychedelic ride through the last hour and a half or so of what I think is like a four and a half hour movie.

We're gonna call it a TV binge of a movie. Because here's the thing. Movies, they're like what an hour and a half, two and a half hours. People will binge like four, four and a half hours of a movie. Because here's the thing. Movies, they're like one hour and a half, two and a half hours. People will binge like four, four and a half hours of TV all the time. So why don't we make movies that long? Let's just do it. Let's just go for it. We'll say you're bingeing the movie, okay?

Just make sure that you have enough incidents in each half hour. So it feels like that movie is just a bunch of small half hours mushed together. And also we run credits in between every half hour and there's a theme song for the movie that plays in between every half hour to remind you what's going on in the movie. And the screen makes it seem like you have the option to skip the intro, but you don't actually have that option unless you leave the theater to go to the bathroom and come back. In which case, that's that's called skipping the intro. We call that real time intro skipping because it doesn't save you any time, but you do get called skipping the intro. We call that real-time intro skipping because it doesn't save you any time

But you do get to avoid the intro and the intro is very annoying and very Your worm catchy so you are gonna want to hit those bathroom breaks Now I so I feel like I understand a lot about the plot of the movie right now But I have a cut. I so you know like they're they're on the run Businessmen are the antagonists your fellow aliens are the antagonists. There are a few character questions Yeah, I just told you all that stuff. I don't know why you're pitching the movie back to me unless it's yeah Let's do it. It's great. I love it. Let's no no no. I wonder all right. There's two key questions I have here. Number one. Okay, what about them being podcasters sort of like we of like informs and reflects upon the characters.

Why are these characters podcasters? Number two, what have you taken that was? Arks over the course of this movie. That's what I, because characters, King, as a writer myself, it all comes from the character. Yeah, characters, and especially King character, the King of all characters. Oh, you're welcome. So, is King character related to King Cr, the alligator, like box or punching guy who fights

Donkey Kong? No, no king cruel king character king, Cooper and every other king are not that king hippo. No, they're just kings. Also a boxing guy. They just all have the same title. They are in the same place of their individual nation states or fiefdoms. Usually having the title king does not mean you're related

to someone unless you are a family member of some with the last name king. Stephen King's son, Martin Luther King, for instance, like they're related because they're both names king. So back to the characters. Yeah, okay, so Stuart, I think you had some ideas about why they are specifically podcasters and what it is about podcasting that informs their character choices.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like that they have a, I don't know, they have, well, they all have lovely voices. We agree to that, right? The voices thing? Yeah, to a man. Yep. And they look kind of weird. So they wouldn't want to be in some kind of visual medium.

And also, they all grew up listening to radio like in Dream On, but with radio instead of TV. Right, right, right. And of course, I assume that we want to like piggyback on all of that, of the success that Alex incorporated had Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, the hit sitcom about it It's it come it's been running for years won all the Emmys People remember it it lives on in more ways than just as mugs that are at the max fun offices

Yeah exactly and so Dan your other question what their arcs are over the course of it. Okay, Dan, of course. Dan will finally let down his hair eventually and have an amazing night as a party, dude. And finally realize what his life is missing, which it turns out is a small cactus plant in a little, like a little pot that he can take with him. Because then he's always got a friend with him and a friend that will never run away, because it's rooted into the soil. But he also doesn't have to give it very much

because it only needs water like every week or so. So he finally realizes what's missing from his life, which after a wild whirlwind night, and this amazing journey he realizes he needs this little cactus plant in a pot, and he can just put it on his desk, or like put it on the counter while he's making breakfast and just talk to it and it's not gonna go anywhere.

He can just say whatever. He can just, whatever abuse he wants to hurl at it. It doesn't matter It's a cactus. It can take it now stewards arc is that he will finally Meet a kung fu master and is able to use ski rotti to Challenge him and in doing so he manages to form his first martial arts school And now he's a respected and manages to form his first martial arts school, and now he's respected. And of course, opens his first bank account. Yes, yeah, and well, that's the, he turns his back on martial arts after this whole adventure, because he realizes violence is not the answer, money is the answer, and he opens a bank account,

and becomes like a venture capital guy. I mean, in a way, money is violence, but, uh, and one, but it just jumped in here before. I mean, in a very real money is violence, but I'm gonna just jump in here. I mean, in a very real way, yes. Wow, wow. For, yeah, yeah, you know, maybe think. And then for the LA character, it's a pretty classic arc, you know. We're dealing with a character who has some weaknesses. And his arc is all over, coming that weakness.

So he begins, he begins the movie, this short little alien guy who talks too much. And by the end, he grows like three or four feet and you're like, what? And that's his arc. Oh, wait, what am I like, Stuart? You're like, what? I like it. I think I can sell that to the people upstairs We thought you were the head of the company. It's named after you

No, I just there's a what do you mean? God, there's a family up stairs. I kind of use just as like a parameter of what you know I have a American wants to see in a movie. Yeah, so So you're the head of a you're the head of a movie studio But you live kind of like downstairs from an average American family Well, we don't have the air rights to our studio. So this family just came in and build the house up there I'm not really how air right I mean you do have the air rights over whatever Skype's breaking up. I like I hear you can't hear your logical objections

So I guess that's a flopphouse of the movie. And we've already got a commitment from Robin, the musician, to do the theme. No wait, I'm sorry. I miss Red. I miss Red the name. It's from Robin. Robin is not known by anybody, not a famous musician.

And in fact, not a musician. it's actually a dog that I know. But I'm pretty sure Robin will do the theme for us. Uh, when you say you know him, have you been over to his house? What is it? What is to know a dog? Uh, well, that's a little personal, but, uh, you can't ever really know him because he has such multitudes, but, you know, I've walked him a couple times when we've talked about, you know, the life and what it's like to be done.

And you made eye contact with him when he was doing his business on the street and you were like, I get it, I see you. It was in that moment where I felt like I looked into his soul and I liked what I saw it. And when I saw was the theme song for this fly-pouse movie, we also need to attach some more talent certainly to play the head of the federal agents.

I was thinking probably like Lance Henrichsen. And to play the real estate agent, I was thinking his brother, Vance Henrichsen, and to play the capitalist kind of banker, I was thinking that's right, Dance Henrichsen, which is the dance troop Lance Henrichsen started. He's no longer a member in it. He kind of can't move the same way he did when he was younger. But he's still choreographed it. And Dan's Hendrixson will kind of like get into this giant business suit

and operate it almost like an enormous puppet, but dance. And I think that would be really cool. And something new that the kids haven't seen yet. Oh, it was their TikToks and their Instagrams and their catfishes and their hush puppies and their, you know, roller discos and their elephants and their circus peanuts and their, you know, polaroid photographs and their, you know, a brick and stock shoes and their 11 blocks and their, you know, loving rockets comic books and their IKEA furniture, you know, and their silly post-propeatic mattresses and their Buddhism and their, you know, all Hebrew national all beef salami and their, you know, deciduous trees and, you know, their peacocks and, you know, their Tasmanian tigers and other extinct mammals, you know, their Thai laundry detergent, you know, and their, their, you know, early

onset Alzheimer's and their, you know, those plastic novelty, you know, early onset Alzheimer's. And they're, you know, those plastic novelty comes, really big ones that you get at amusement parks, and like, you know, Teddy Ruck spin, you know, and their earthworms and their earthworm gyms. For the Sega Genesis particularly, and, you know, their clean X's and, you know, their dennies, and their,

then for the last dinosaurs, and, you know, their hardwood floors, you know, and're denny's and they're den for the last dinosaurs and you know, they're hardwood floors You know, and they're walking closets and you know, they're indoor plumbing and their Industrial combustion engines, you know, and they're separated rights for various merchandising and you know adaptation things They're palm trees and they're you know, you know, Dan allions You know, it's gonna be great you know, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great when Dan gives a visit, Elliot and L.A. and he walks into Elliot's office. And he has this like, Chaz Paul Vinteri

an usual suspects moment where he sees all the things that Elliot just talked about. I mean, they were an astounding, from my perspective, an astounding series of polls of seemingly random, but very specific things, other than the fact that other than the one moment at which I was dabbing my forehead because I was sweating from the hot room and the laughter at the same time, and he said, Kleenex. Other than that, I think it was a pretty clean, uh,

That was a weak moment for me. I don't like that I said palm trees, and then I think, or I said, I think it was a pretty clean. Thanks. That was a weak moment for me. I don't like that. I said palm trees. And then I think, or I think I said, citrus trees and dandelions at the same time. There were a couple of things where the links were a little too strong. But anyway, I think. Yeah. And you mentioned Earthworm Jim, which is one of those kind of sad ones, because isn't that dude like a huge asshole? Yeah. He's a real jerk. He's a, he's a terrible. He's a, he's, well, he's a guy who I don't agree with politically and also he's Intolerant of people who are not like him and so yeah, but anyway, we don't have to talk about it Okay, so instead of earthworm Jim pretend I said toe jam and Earl

So the kids can toe jam and Earl's and they're emcee MC scat cats and they're you know jet skis Samson max hits the road Samson max hits the roses from LucasArts, and there's big fanmen that are outside of used car dealerships, and they're enormous, enormous flags that just have like a picture of the devil and underneath it says, hey buddy, and they're novelty t-shirts, and they're roller skates, and they're wicker, laundry hampers,

and, you know, they're curly wigs with lots of multicolored colors on it and they're clown noses, you know, and they're gloves without the fingers that they can handle coins when they're selling pips on the street and you know, they're number two Ticonderoga pencils and you know. Okay, well, now look, you got it. You got the movie, green light, sold in the room. That was me putting a cap on this, you know, I think this is the most informative episode of the show we've ever done.

Yeah. This is definitely one of those, click on it, hold down the button, drag it over into the little garbage bin and get your action. I think I think I think you mean drag it over to the little thing that says time capsule and save it for five thousand years for future generations. They know that we had band aids and also like glue sticks and you know paper clips not to mention pomeranian dogs, and Hulk Hogan, and not to mention those rubber bands that they're really thin and they're really long, you know, the ones I'm talking about. And also like little keychain flashlights, and not to mention those screens you put up on the

windshield of your car, so the inside of the car doesn't get hot. And it looks like sunglasses. of your car so the inside of the heart. It looks like sunglasses. So this is the kind of thing that you, the Max Fun subscribers, the supporters of this show, you made this happen. I'd hate to say it's your fault, but it kind of is. And for all you folks that are listeners, thank you so much for all the supporters. To be honest, we kind of couldn't do the show without you. You keep us going. And this is the time of year where we thank you by putting out all this amazing content like you just listen to. If you get a chance, I can name more things. It was a real fantasy on stupid

themes this last episode. So if you are not already a supporter and you're interested, head over to maximumfund.org slash join, pick a level that you are comfortable with, be prepared to receive some lovely gifts, as well as the warm and fuzzy feeling of supporting art that I hope you like, because we like what we we make and we think it's worth something. So thanks. Yeah, with that note, you know, I think that if we don't sign off, there's always the risk that Elliott will keep saying things until he forgets things to say, which means that we will literally be here until the heat death of the universe. I mean, I don't know about that. I mean, I guess I can talk about like Altoids Minnes and then they've got their three ring

binders and their footy pajamas and their swim caps and they've got their temporary tattoos that's just like a tiger and they've got their plastic flowers, not real flowers, plastic ones and they got their plastic flowers, not real flowers, plastic ones, and they got their videos of sports bloopers. You've got your sound effects CDs, and you've got your Halloween sound effects CDs, of course, and of course these kids today with their clouds, and of course there's stuffed animal rabbits and their manhole covers, and of course there pick up trucks, and of course you've got their plastic bags with the Ziploc top so you can keep things fresh inside and

You know rubber-made products of all different kinds and let's not forget the kids these days They've got hacksaws and then they've also got airbags Maximumfund.org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported.