The Flop House - FH Mini 122 - Monster Mashers

Episode Date: February 8, 2025

Following a couple of failed "Dark Universe" attempts, Stuart leads a brainstorming session to explore how his co-hosts might revitalize the Universal Monsters.You can still see FlopTV thru the end of February -- tickets here! And while you’re clicking on stuff, subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!”

Hi, Floppers. Before we start this episode, I just wanted to remind you we are in the middle of FlopTV Season 2. That's right, the one-hour internet televised Flophouse TV show is here for you the first Saturday of every month through February. Just go to theflophouse.simpleTix.com and get your tickets or season pass for this all-new Flophouse TV stuff. For covering movies we've never covered before, we've got video segments. It's amazing. Just go to the flophouse.simple-ticks.com for Flop TV Season 2. This time, it's personal. Hey there, Flopsters. This is the Flophouse Podcast and I am your Flopster in Chief, Stuart Wellington.

I didn't even saw the title. Yep. It's important that I get myself a new title because... I don't remember voting Stuart am your Flopster in Chief, Stuart Wellington. I didn't even see the title. Yep. It's important that I get myself a new title because... I don't remember voting Stuart in as Flopster in Chief. Yeah, so this is a Flophouse Mini. Now, normally on our other weeks, we do full episodes where we watch a bad movie and talk about it. On these weeks, the other weeks, we do a thing called a Flophouse Mini

where we talk for about as much time, but with no particular direction. Today, guys. Sounds great. Yeah, I love that particular direction. Yeah. Why don't I introduce you guys? You guys are gonna be helping me out today. I'm gonna be working through some stuff.

Again, I'm Stuart Wellington and I'm joined by my regular co-host. Why don't you introduce yourselves? I'm Dan McCoy. I'm gonna be helping Stuart out today. I'm gonna be Elliot Cailin and I'm gonna be helping out Dan, helping out Stuart today. Because Cailin and I'm gonna be helping out Dan helping out Stuart today. Mm-hmm. Because that's the thing. I know that

Elliot has some very important family business that he should probably be spending time with maybe watching his children grow up or Dan has like four movies to watch at once Just on screens orthogonally around me. They have placed in different places while you spin around in a desk chair. Dan goes, give me the Epcot world country scenario, and it's just all around him. That's what I crave. Stimulus. Constant, overwhelming stimulus. That's the name of the pornography magazine that you subscribe to, Constant Overwhelming Stimulus.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. I do crave stimulus, but I usually like to eat one thing at a time. Yeah, constant singular stimulus. Yeah. Okay. Constant stimulus is all Dan needs. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. So, yeah, on the subject of- That was from Katie Lang Kirk, Dan needs. Yeah. So yeah, on the subject of- That was from Katie Lang Kirk, Dan McCoy Lang. That actually makes a lot of sense. So I hope you're picturing Dan as this like mojo type character spinning around with his little crab legs, watching as many screens as possible.

Yeah. Elliot is what? He's one of the spineless ones. Minor Domo? I'll be Major Domo. But Minor Domo's the like fast talking one, right? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, I think and I'd be what Shatterstar I think I think you're one of the X babies. You're maybe the little little baby Wolverine. Oh My god, you gave me point Yeah, that's amazing pride of place. Yeah. Okay. So guys as I mentioned before I try to place can do guys

Oh, man, I'murbed Salivatin. He's a teenager Stuart. She's not a teenager anymore Dan, she's a grown up pirate. She's not a pirate anymore, she's a grown up in the comics now. At the time you were a teenager so it's fine right? Yeah that's true, my vision of Kitty Pryde is locked into the time that I was the same age. It's exactly like how I could have a crush at the time on Natalie Portman in the professional because I was also 12 years old Uh-huh. It works. Now I cannot I don't want to have a crush on Natalie Portman in the professional and I don't want anymore

It would not be a fact. Okay more of a black swan Natalie Portman, right? Oh, yeah for sure. Of course. She's she's a ballerina She's got issues. She's got she's got an overbearing mother who, of course, would become my mother-in-law. Yeah, great. I could fix her. OK, so she thinks she's turning into a bird. Hubba hubba. Guys, as I alluded to before, you got to help me out. There's no structure.

I I just got a new job, a man with way too many jobs already. You already have too many jobs. I just got a new job. I got hired by Universal Studios. What? Because Universal Studios. Wow. Needed.

Wow. Yep. Needed somebody to do some like testing, some audience testing. Okay. And needed, hired me to interview some movie experts so that they can start working on, that's right, the return of the dark universe. Oh boy, so exciting.

With hit movies like Nosferatu and the upcoming Wolfman and, do I hear rumblings of a Guillermo del Toro Frankenstein movie? The universal monsters are are back baby. And so I think it's a perfect time for us to start talking about, let's make more of these movies. Okay. So.

I'm not against it. I love those characters, sure. If you're unfamiliar with the Dark Universe, dear listeners, just, I don't know, Google it. People, you'll see some pretty funny pictures. Helpful. I'll mention Stuart, I'll help you with this one. The Dark Universe was an interconnected series of movies

that didn't exist. They released one of them, The Mummy, and they did a photo shoot of the stars of the upcoming films, and then when The Mummy didn't do that well, they canceled all the other movies. So Angelina Jolie is the bride of Frankenstein, not happening.

Johnny Depp is the Invisible Man, not happening. But they built it up, and then they made a whole logo for it. This was gonna be the next big interconnected movie universe. And then it died almost instantly. I also think there was a Dracula one before that. Dracula Untold. That was sort of a soft launch for the Dark Universe, and when that failed, they were like,

no, no, no, the Mummy, that's the real launch of the Dark Universe. I think, so that was Dracula Untold, I believe. Yeah. Featured on this podcast. I don't know if it's officially Dark Universe canon. I think they were trying, but I don't know if it's officially Dark Universe canon. I think they were trying, but I don't know if it has a Dark Universe logo on it.

What I'm saying, I think they were like, dipping a toe in and they're like, that didn't work, they're like, no, no, no, no, no, forget that. This is the Dark Universe. Yeah. Here. Look over here. Come on, Dracula, no way, it's the mummy, come on.

So guys, we're gonna talk about some of these universal monsters. We're gonna talk about some of the movies that they're in and what we're looking, what you guys would gonna talk about some of these universal monsters. We're gonna talk about some of the movies that they're in and what we're looking for, what you guys would look for in one of these movies. And then after a little bit of a break, we'll come back and talk crossover opportunities

and merchandise opportunities. That's what I need from you today. So let's start talking about, who are we talking about? That's, let me just get, let's do a little roll call here. Sure. Monster roll call, Kanbot. Yep. Dracula.

Tom Servo. We got, are we allowed to do that or are we gonna get sued, Elliot? I'll talk to Joel about it. Okay, so we got Dracula, okay vampires. You got the Wolfman, so werewolves. Werewolves, yeah. Frankensteins, which are Frankenstein's monsters.

Archie. Archie is knocking shit off the Archie was one of the universal monsters like Archie Andrews America's eldest teenager Archie is Dan's cat who has been knocking things off the shelf behind us We have a gil man. You might know him as a black lagoon comma creature of You might know him as a black lagoon, comma, creature of. Creature from the, yeah. Yep, thank you. Invisible Man.

And Dr. Jekyll. Ralph Ellison's haunting novel about race in the United States. That's what we're talking about. And Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's. Hyde's? Now is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde really, I don't know if I would officially call that

a universal monster character. In the dark, Universes in it. I believe, I know that Universal did a version of Phantom of the Opera that is considered... That was kind of backed into the universal monsters. Yeah. But I'll allow it, I'll allow it. They're all, except for the creature from the Black Lagoon and the wolf Man, which is at least based on maybe folklore

They are essentially the great monsters of a certain strain of gothic literature or science fiction literature That have been adapted into this into this shared world between them. Yeah, so the first one We're going to start with is Dracula's that's a vampire There's a hot new movie in the theaters right now, Nosferatu, a movie I have not seen, although I have heard that the vampire has a mustache and a dong. He has a big mustache and in one scene he does have a dong. I mean, he has in two scenes he has a dong. One you see and one he uses it.

And he is essentially Dracula in that this was a total ripoff to avoid copyright on Dracula and then on Nath Faradji the original almost you know like flirted with the the judge said that it had to all the copies had to be destroyed but it survived because people had yes this is a remake of a ripoff yeah Dracula yeah cool cool cool cool so let's talk vampire movies dudes do you have any favorite vampire movies out there? I mean, this is a big one. I feel like there's a ton of vampire movies out there. So what are what are some of your faves like a near dark, a Lost Boys?

I mean, yeah, Danny, of course. Well, not so much the Lost Boys near dark. Yes. Fright Night. I like. Rightight Night's good. I gotta say that the vampire has never been a monster that spoke to me as much as the others, but what do you have, Elliot? I've gotta say, also, I mean, I'm a big fan

of the movie Martin, the George Morial movie about a young man who thinks he's a vampire. I'm a big fan of the Bela Gosi's performance as Dracula, even though the original Dracula's a little slow the Spanish language 30s Dracula is a really fun movie even though that Dracula the actor is not as good as Bill Lugosi Interview with a vampire when I finally saw it. I really liked that movie in a lot of ways So there's a lot about what about the Larry Fessenden habit. Did you ever see that one? You know what? I've never seen habit I mean, it's a good New York movie. I think you dig it and also know what? I've never seen Habit. It's a good New York movie. I think you'd dig it. Grace Jones in Vamp.

I've never seen it. Vamp's pretty good. It's fun. There's Ganja and Hess, which is a good vampire movie. It's more of a kind of artsy vampire movie. There's another one that was on the tip of my tongue and I'm forgetting it. And there's the 70s Nosferatu. Chronos? What about Chronos?

Chronos is really good. An alternatives kind of vampire movie. Well, twist on a take. So we talked about a lot of vampire movies that we like. So when making a vampire movie, what kind of scenes do we need in it? Like when you're watching a vampire movie, what's the thing you expect to see?

I think that the vampires, unless you're talking like a 30 days of night style, more sort of feral vampire, the vampires... Like Will Ferrell, yeah. A, yeah. It's one he's a lot. Vampire's a friendlier monster in that, you know, he has to be invited into your home,

but often he'll invite you into his home and, you know, have a meal with you or entertain you. He's one of the few monsters... He It's one of the few he does play this food He's one of the few monsters who has manners and wears wears nice clothes often not always I think the thing that is more important to me than anything else in a vampire movie is a sense of creeping dread of some kind the idea that there is a creeping dread of some kind. The idea that there is an ominous quality to the character that gets worse and worse as the other characters

are drawn closer and closer to them. I feel like that's something that Near Dark does really well. Even though you know these are vampires from pretty early, there's this feeling that it's gonna get worse and worse and the atmosphere is gonna get darker and scarier and creepier, you know? And I think there also has to be some level of appeal. Yes.

I feel like that's part of vampires. They're the opposite of werewolves, where with werewolves it is just an out and out curse. There's nothing really particularly good about it. It is not a power fantasy. It's entirely a terror of, oh my God, if this happened to me, I would lose control of myself and become a monster. I couldn't be trusted.

Whereas with vampires, there's this temptation and a seduction aspect to it. Oh, maybe I would wanna live forever. Maybe I would wanna live off the blood of others. There's a certain sexiness to it, which I think goes hands in hand with that kind of like manners, clothes, suavness. Even the vampires in the near dark,

there's something seductive about like, they're part of this traveling family that doesn't play by the normal rules, you know? Whereas a werewolf forces you to become an outcast, a vampire allows you to live outside of normal society in a freer way. Although, keeping in mind, you can never go outside during the day,

which is a big limitation. That's a big limitation, yeah. Yeah, that's all fair. Now, some other things like, do you need to have a scene of somebody transforming into a vampire? Do you need bats and werewolves, or like bats and wolves? Do you need mist? I mean, I don't know, I kinda like a vampire

that just looks like a vampire all the time, unless it's like, I mean, I guess this actually does looks like a vampire all the time unless it's like I mean I guess this actually does include like talking about David Boreanis is an angel He actively changes Stuart And when you say a transformation do you mean the vampire changes from human to monster or you mean a person? Transforming into a vampire like like becoming one for the first time, you know Yeah, yeah, you gotta you know yeah yeah you gotta have that yeah you gotta have that that's you gotta have someone making the

choice or being confronted with it with the chore force to do it and having to try to get out of it you know in some ways that's one of the I mean when you see the new nose for a to you see that the new nose for a to there's like less of a sense in my mind for a to anywayu. What? News for Atu. Anyway, coming up on news for Atu, the vampire stories you need to know. My name's Atu. News for Atu, news for you, and news for Atu. It's news for you. And I think that there's less of a feeling of a character being seduced to the dark side because the character already has a dark side to them and also knows for out to the character is such a grotesque Creep yeah, it feels very little like there's a like oh, who's this guy?

You know I knew the new guy in town. I know that his land deal is You know a sham a cover for other stuff in not so far to you But I did find it very funny that like Nicholas Holt's Jonathan-esque character I know what I don't always call it. Nosferatu is like they're like taking it face value like oh, yeah This guy wants to buy a house in London Feral rat man The other thing is and this will be spoiling a little bit for you is that Nosferatu basically The other thing is, and Stuart, this will be spoiling a little bit for you, is that Nosferatu basically gets Holt, like, gets him drunk or high,

he's in a daze, and he gives him a contract written in a language he doesn't understand, and has him sign it kind of in a haze, and then later Nosferatu says to his wife, like, well, he signed you away to me. He signed the contract. And I feel like all she has to say is, like, bullshit, he didn't know what that contract said. That's not going to hold up in a court of law. Like, you see, like see one of the few vampire movies where they could-

It's gonna judge Judian on this thing. Yeah, they could probably get out of it by suing him as opposed to destroying him. But anyway, but yeah, I think you do want those things. You want to see someone, you want to see a person confronted with a vampire and being tempted to join them or joining them. Okay, and let's keep this quick.

Let's like just fire it right off the top of your dome. How do we make a vampire movie fresh? Because there's been a bunch of them. There has been. Space, put vampire in space. There are space vampire movies. Life Force is a space vampire movie. There's a Planet of the Vampires, yeah.

Yeah. I think there was a really scary episode of Buck Rogers with a vampire in space too. Oh, awesome, yeah. More like Suck Rogers, because he's sucking blood out of people. Yeah, I'd love to see that. How do you make it fresh?

Here's the thing I would, so a lot of these monsters work best when they are metaphors for a thing. For something that is on the minds of the people. There's a movie called The Monster Show, I think it is. The Monster Show of the Harsh by Richard Skoll, where it's talking about how so many of these monster movies from the 30s, he sees as people dealing with the trauma of World War One and the new knowledge of how a body can be destroyed. What can happen to a body and the damage you do to it. And

I feel like with vampires, there is some way to make it a metaphor for the 1% income inequality, something like that. There's this class that is literally preying on normal people and in a way that they're not always aware of. But I don't know, but that's a theme. I don't know exactly how to do it in a story. That's good, though, because I was thinking along those same lines. And what I was thinking about was like, oh, you know, often they use it as a metaphor for disease spreading and certainly coming off of COVID.

And that reminded me of one of my problems with the new Nosferatu, where it seemed to boil down to like, forget this science, listen to my crazed ravings about the supernatural, you gotta do it this way. Well, that's the issue with a lot of these movies. It reminds me of that first Godzilla versus Kong, I think it was, where it was like, every scientist knows the Earth is not hollow,

except this one scientist, and he's right. And it's like, so we should always listen to the outsider who doesn't agree with the scientific consensus, that's what you're telling me. But I think, yeah, but I think that's one way to do it. Yeah, make it about something that's important for now. Okay, so let's move on to our next movie monster, that's the Wolfman, a werewolf.

There's been a couple of these movies. Are there any ones that are particularly, particular favorites of yours? I have a higher, yeah, I think there's more in the wolf zone that I like. I really like American Werewolf in London. I like The Howling. Hell yeah.

Dog Soldiers is pretty good. Dog Soldiers is good, yeah. Like even a dumb werewolf movie I'll enjoy I saw There's like a terror Tuesday of silver bullet What about what about wolf I've never seen Albert Finney in wolf wait no no And Albert Finney is the detective in wolf and his who's or he's a detective he's trying to find the wolf in yeah Okay, well, yeah. Okay, wolf. Jack Nicholson is in wolf.

Wolf, I've seen. That doesn't quite work. I saw it when I was young and I don't really remember it, and I still only remember the scene from the commercials where he's peeing on the floor in the bathroom. Oh yeah, there's a scene where he, like, somebody puts their hand on his shoulder and he, like, bites it really funny.

I thought wolf was funny because it was like, it's not like publishing can't be cutthroat, but it's not like the most cutthroat business, and it's like you really need to turn into this wolf man. I think it shows you Mike Nichols' view of the publishing world. Exactly. Oh, I think we also forgot probably my favorite Werewolf movie, Ginger Snaps. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I think that might be my favorite. And that's, I mean, it obviously wears its metaphor on its sleeve or Famously sleeved But it uh, I think it you birdie and sleaze I feel like that's like one of the I feel yeah Like I feel like ginger snaps talks about it in like as a puberty metaphor in a way that like yeah But I mean why I guess you're right I guess Teen Wolf did it first and better No, I'm not saying I'm just saying that that's a

Werewolf did it before Teen Wolf too Just saying I feel like it felt pretty fresh and novel the way ginger snaps I will say this I think ginger snaps doing it as a as a Fem as a female puberty story as opposed to just a puberty story and but also that ginger steps does it better than Teen Wolf Teen Wolf is not the best Use of werewolf as puberty Great at basketball and you decide how to use your basketball powers. Hmm. Say more on that But so werewolves werewolf movies you're asking for what how we how we make it fresh and and fun Use your basketball powers. Say more on that. So werewolves, werewolf movies, you're asking for what? How we make it fresh and fun?

Well, first off, I would say, what kind of scenes do we need in a, what does a werewolf movie need? Here's where you need the transformation scene. You need the transformation scene. It's gotta be big and scary. You gotta have a scene where someone is telling someone else to barricade them somewhere or like, they're begging for help, don't let me out, that kind of thing.

You gotta have a scene where they're surfing on a van. That just isn't definite. Yeah, classic werewolves trope. You gotta have them light into a can and the spray's everywhere, yeah. A scene where the person who is afflicted with lycanthropy is underestimated because they are just a regular old human and the person doesn't realize,

oh no, this guy's gonna turn into a wolf. I mean, speaking of jokes about specific movies, I wouldn't mind getting Griffin Dunn back in one, come on. Yeah, get Griffin Dunn back in one. Sure, yeah. He's still a working actor. Yeah, he was on Only Murders in the Building. You now let him play the werewolf.

He's getting more wolf in looking. There could have been a wolf in the buildings. Yeah, only werewolves in the building. Yeah, sure. I mean, that, to be honest, that is something that I would think would be a cool way to do a werewolf movie, is to do it in more of an urban setting that way, to even if you lose the spookiness of the woods. But if you got a werewolf loose in a high-rise apartment building, that's real scary, you know? And also like the idea of like the, your like primitive nature coming in conflict with the more urban and modern and urban. Okay, so I guess that,

would that cover our interesting take on the character? Maybe, and also he's probably gonna be like a social media star. People see like there's this werewolf and they're like, hey man. Now he's an influencer, you know? I've actually seen a fair amount of like, or that's based on that general topic that I've liked okay.

Like it's not like, I'm not saying, ugh, just cause I hate it. Cause like there've been movies, but I'm like, that is like the first thing everyone suggests I think. Yeah, I was once in a meeting with a company that was looking to find something new to do with Gumby. And they were like, we did have one idea we liked, where Gumby is an influencer.

And I was like, I don't even understand that. Like, I don't understand what that is. It influences people to go inside books and have adventures. How about Gumby goes through a portal into the real world? And transforms into a human. Into a human. He's got to find Art Cloaky. Oh, Art Cloakey died, sorry. And his best friend's a horse, but when he comes to the real world, he's a person, you know?

Okay, moving on, we're gonna move on to our next character and that is Frankenstein's monster. But I will also take ideas from Victor Frankenstein as well, the doctor. So, are there Frankenstein movies that you like? Well, Bright of Frankenstein probably the most and then also Frankenstein. Yeah, those are, I mean, those are of the Universal movies, those are the ones that I think hold up the most genuine best, those first two Frankensteins. I mean,

the Hammer Frankenstein movies, I like a bunch of those. Those got really weird as time went on, where it was like Victor Frankenstein movies. I like a bunch of those those got really weird as time went on where it was Like Victor Frankenstein was just a month He was just a murderer and he's just like taking brains out of one person and slapping him in another person You know oddly considering who I am. I've never seen flesh for Frankenstein, so I can't speak on it It is weird that is weird considering who you are Rocky Horror Picture Show is basically a Frankenstein story But not mm-hmm, but they don't really follow the same tropes since it becomes a space vampire story. Yeah. I remember I did see the Kenneth Branagh thing I remember nothing about. I remember is it... Eels. I remember Eels.

Who falls in the thing of Eels? Is it John Cleese or Billy Connelly? Who's playing the guy who falls in the vat of Eels? I don't remember. I don't remember either. Either of them would have been great. I feel like there's a... Franken the Frankenstein is a little bit Lisa Frankenstein. Sorry. I like Lisa Frankenstein Yeah, Frankenstein is a little bit harder because you're dealing with a main character who is so much less Expressive in many ways and so much less active like the monster is not is often in these stories is not the one Doing a lot of the activity but the one who has acted upon I mean, there's always something like I, Frankenstein, which we saw for the podcast, right?

Where Frankenstein sponsors an action hero fighting demons or whatever. But I feel like that's not the best use of him. Okay, interesting. Okay. I mean, I do think that if we're moving into... Maybe Mary Shelley, if she'd been awesome, would have had... She was a little more radical.

If we're moving into ways that freshen it up, I mean, I know that Brano's version was closer to the book, but no one saw it or watched it. In some ways it was closer to the book. I do think that there's still a lot of room in a more, more accurate, I guess is the word I'm looking for but not exactly adaptation one that he was closer to the original vision of the monster where he's Not in an expressive lug like yeah, we can feel and like

There is still juice to be gotten out of the horror of that character Realizing like like well, what am I? What is life? What is my life? I mean, that's kind of the Barbie movie in some ways, right? Yeah, it's a lot like that. The Frankenstein story in the show,

Penny Dreadful, I think, actually captures kind of what you're talking about pretty well. And it features Josh Hartnett, who, you know, and and and that could be all about, you know, being mad at your dad. Yes, is a theme that has lasted for centuries. Yeah, I feel like if there's anything, that's that's why that's why my thing, I think we even go to freshen it up. We go even further back.

And it's called Oedipus Stein. Frankenstein. Sure. And again, I was a teenage Frankenstein, yeah. But this is Oedipus Stein, Frankenstein's monster, so mad at his dad, Victor Frankenstein, that he falls in love with his stepmom, I guess, you know? Victor Frankenstein's wife, Elizabeth. If it was a modern sitcom,

his dad would be a retired baby boomer who has a home and his millennial kids who also have kids have to move back in because their life choices have fucked them up financially. And one of them is Frankenstein. Yes, one of them is Frankenstein. Frankenstein has to move back in with his parents because he can't afford a house.

You're not my real brother. Yeah, exactly. Okay, real spelled R-E-E-L. Okay, so we, I think we've talked a little bit about Frankenstein. Let's move on to another monster called Gillman, the creature from the Black Lagoon. Not a super popular character in movies. I'm sure there was some kind of retrospective during when Shape of Water was all the rage.

This is the character that, this is an original Universal character. I mean, Universal didn't invent it. Like, the character was invented by human beings. But this is one that, I think there's less of it because there's really just those first three movies, and then there's the Gill-Man and Monster Squad, there's the Gill-Man and Shape of Water,

and there's various kind of ultra-low-budget rip-offs of like swamp monsters that are kind of reptilian or fish-like. But there's not... You got Abe Sapien, who's kind of a... Yeah, Abe Sapien. But there's not like a real rich kind of... Unless you're going back to like merman and mermaids, there's not really like a rich folklore to draw on for the Gillman

specifically because Unless I'm wrong and there's like a short story. I don't know about it's not based on Yeah, yeah, it's not based on some dudes encounter with a manatee or something. Yeah, but he fell in love with it Yeah, yeah I mean that but uh So but I so what the I think there's fewer tropes to rely on for the creature from the Black Lagoon. Also because by the third movie in that series, they found lungs in him and they hook him,

he hook up his lungs so he lives on land and he hates it. And he ends up going back in the ocean and drowning at the end, cause he's so sad. Like there's less of a, the creature from the Black Lagoon is, it follows the Frankenstein model a little bit in being an inexpressive monster that, to a certain extent, wants to be loved, but doesn't know how to achieve that

and runs afoul of human intolerance, but also it's a monster that kidnaps people. But there's less of a, let's say it's not a psychologically rich figure as say Dracula or Frankenstein's monster or the Wolfman, but I still love him. So how do we jazz him up? We've already had a Loverboy version. Yeah.

Wait, what Loverboy version? Shape of Water. Did you not see that movie, Dan? No, no. It's the one in the Academy Award. It was Best Picture. Honestly, I zoned out, my brain went back to Frankenstein because I was distracted by a question I got about flop TV though

Lover boy version of Frankenstein, it's Rocky our picture show. It's love boy. They were Where they show Patrick Dempsey being made out of dead body parts before he gets a job as a pizza boy who brings pizza and work These days No, what do I what how would I jazz up a modern? Yeah Gillman? Who brings pizza and more? To all the housewives. Couldn't make that movie these days. No, how would I jazz up a modern... Yeah, a guild man. What are you gonna do? You're gonna have to make him like a genetic creation of some kind, you know? I think it's very unlikely you're gonna find a hidden...

A pollution creation? Yeah, maybe a pollution creation. Yeah, he's more of a Judd in that way. I mean, I hate to say it, so many of my ideas are going to go back to put this thing in an urban setting. You've got a guild man that's some or a guilt like the way dolphins will sometimes get lost in like the Thames or something or the Kiwanis Canal. Like what if the guild man accidentally gets lost in a city and what it's going to be back to lost New York. But now it's in the sewers or it's you know, it's it's it's feeding off of the people in the in the city or something like that. sewers or it's you know, it's it's it's feeding off of the people in the in the city or something like that Yeah, what is in the Ritz Carlton? What if it's a sort of a assault on a building sort of thing where the Gill man is trying to

Is breaking into an aquarium to free all of his friends and you know This is a different version of the Gill man. These felt worse more thinking of it what they think there's there's a the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen book that has a Gill Man swarm at the end, basically it's like mating season and breeding season for the Gill Men in South America, and there's something cool about that. Oh, now I'm more of that. Yeah, exactly. Oh, the sort of like piranha Gill Men?

Yeah, it's the one where, it's one of the Nemo hardcovers that are about Captain Nemo's daughter. And it's the one where one of the villains is Dr. Goldfoot, the character from Dr. Goldfoot in the Bikini Machine. The Bikini Machine, yeah. Which I think is very funny. Okay, now let's move on to The Invisible Man. Now there was recently, the director of The Wolf Man

just recently made an Invisible Man movie where we have a, spoiler alert, high-tech Invisible Man. And we've had some other variations. Are there other? That was right before lockdown, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, that was the first movie I watched. I got a premium rental and watched it in my bar.

Wow. Yeah, because I mean, like, that movie did extremely well considering that basically everything shut down immediately thereafter. But there's been some other Invisible Man movies. Hollow Man. Yeah. Memoirs of an Invisible Man.

Yep. There are others, I mean there's the original. The Invisible Man. There's that, at the very end. There's Invisible Kid. There's the Invisible Woman. Like they did a lot, the thing with the Invisible Man movies is that it started out as a universal horror thing and it slowly became kind of like a series of comedies and spy movies

Well, it became like often like a reason for like eighty sex comedies be like this guy this guy's invisible He can walk anywhere. I mean, it was an invisible maniac. I believe Yeah, I do recall a maniac That sounds pretty good. Is there any meat on this invisible man bone? Is there anything we can do with this that will? I mean, considering he has to be naked, there's a lot of meat on that invisible man bone.

Arguably, yeah. This is the thing that, so my kids, for a while, the only universal horror movie that they weren't too scared to watch all the way through was The Invisible Man, and we watched it a bunch of times over and over, and they always thought it was very funny that he's just walking around naked the entire movie. Like wherever he's going, he's just naked, you know? I mean, the thing is like the Lee Winnell one, I liked so much. I thought that was really good. So it's hard for me to like think of a fresh take. The thing, I mean, if you're going to metaphor again, I think the whole thing about the invisible man

is it's about consequences being removed and what that does to a person. I mean, and Hollow Man really took that far in a way that a lot of people have problems with, which I understand, because it's unpleasant, but I also, I'm like, yeah, I respect what this movie is doing as being like, this is how close society is to monstrosity. And like the Hollow Man is not the hero of the movie.

Exactly, he's not. It holds a mirror up, and in that mirror you see nothing, because he's invisible. Because he's invisible, yeah. In that mirror you see nothing. No signs of love beyond the years. Well, if something comes to you... No invisible men, or vampires they also don't reflect

It's true. You'll hold up that mirror and there's no monsters there You don't know if it's because they're invisible or if there's actually no monsters there Legally this tune is not close enough to the Beatles for us to get in trouble We're gonna jump on to our last monster. That's a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Have you seen any Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde movies that you like? Well, let's see. Again, I'm going to say that...

Yeah. Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde? No, I didn't. You don't. It's not very good at all. The old, old... The Frederick March, Dr. Jekylleline Mr. Hyde is really good. The silent one is really good with John Barrymore, I think it is.

I have to say, this is one that I think suffers a little bit from us living in a world that no longer has as rigidly defined morals as the world kind of once did in some ways, where it was the, I feel like it's a lot harder to, like the hide has to be so much more extreme in order to really get across that this is a guy operating on his worst instincts and in a way that society can't contain.

And there have unfortunately been too many stories of someone who seems above reproach on the surface, who turns out to be a monster. Yeah, they don't need the serum, basically is what it is. I wonder if there's a, if there's a, a to-do-it version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde where someone is blaming their problem on a potion or whatever,

and then it turns out it's not the case at all. I mean, I blame most of my problems on potions. It's called to-ke-la. Like, I wonder if there's something... I always had a joke version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in mind, where Dr. Jekyll is very uptight and very above reproach, and Mr. Hyde is like, look, he's got his problems, but he just relates to people a little better,

he's looser, he's more fun to be around. And so Dr. Jekyll's friends are always trying to get him to take the potion, trying to convince him that he should become Mr. Hyde, because it's more fun to be around Mr. Hyde pretty good. Yeah, his friends. I was just actually thinking of a sassy like T-shirt from what Stewart just said something dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde theme t-shirt Is that Mary Riley a dr. Jekyll mr. Hyde I never saw that I think that's Frankenstein is it no I'm wrong. No, I think you're... well. I'll look it up. I've never seen it, so I don't know.

Look it up. All I remember is that in the commercials they would say, Mary Riley. We sure would. So now that we've kind of done an overview of these movies, let's get a little word from our sponsors. You know, the Flop House doesn't pay for itself, folks. No, it doesn't pay for itself. If it did, ooh.

If it did, Dan might have seen Mary Riley, and he would know, yes, it is inspired by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Oh, cool. So I know about you guys, but all this talking has made me a little bit hungry. So I'm going to do a little bit of an ad from one of our sponsors,

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but you don't see the whole spectrum of your life. I think that when you have this digital picture frame, you're a lot more generous about like, oh, that's a nice moment I want to remember, that maybe I wouldn't put up in a frame if it was just a regular old static frame, you still want to see it and that's the great thing about having a digital frame and right now you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting AuraFrames.com. For a limited time

listeners can get $20 off their best-selling Carver Mat Frame with code FLOP that's AuraFrames.com promo code FLOP. That's A U R A frames dot com promo code FLOP. Don't forget to mention that we, the FLOP house, sent you show your support for the show. Terms and conditions apply. And I just want to mention before we get back to some universal monstering that FLOP TV has come to an end. Mostly Our television version of The Flophouse that's on your computer. It was six live broadcasts,

all talking about a different sequel. We had a great time with it. It was super fun. And those videos are still available for you to watch them should you want to through the end of February. Go to theflophouse.simpletix.com and you can still buy tickets or a season pass

to view those videos binge them all why not spray some out one a day whatever you want to do as long as you watch them before the end of February before they go back into the Flophouse vaults that's the Flophouse.SimpleTix.com to look back on the hours of fun that we had telling you about movies with a number two. ["Max Fun Theme Song"] Hey, is this Jesse? This is Jesse.

Hey, this is Stuart Wellington, host of the Flophouse podcast on Max Fun. I'm calling because you've been named Maximum Fund's member of the month for February. Nice. If you don't mind me asking, what prompted you to start supporting the network, become a Max Fund member?

I was trying to think of when I started listening to the Fob House, but I think it was something like 2014, 2015. Oh wow. And then actually having a real job in joining 21 was what allowed me to actually start supporting. Congratulations for having a real job and supporting my not real job.

So as member of the month, you're going to be getting a $25 gift card to the MaxFun store, a special member of the month bumper sticker and a special priority parking spot at MaxFun HQ in Los Angeles. It's awesome to support you guys, to support MaxFun. I get endless joy and entertainment.

If you're a MaxFun member, you can become the next MaxFun member of the month. Support us at maximalfun.org slash join. Most of the plants humans eat are technically grass. Most of the asphalt we drive on is almost a liquid. The formula of WD-40 is San Diego's greatest secret. Zippers were invented by a Swedish immigrant love story. On the podcast, secretly incredibly fascinating, we explore this type of amazing stuff.

Stuff about ordinary topics like cabbage and batteries and socks. Topics you'd never expect to be. The title of the podcast. Secretly incredibly fascinating. Find us by searching for the word secretly in your podcast app. And at MaximumFun.org. And we're back. As I mentioned right at the top, I just got a new job working for Universal, handling

some market research. And I have enlisted my two favorite movie experts in the whole wide world, Dan McCoy and Elliott Kalin to help me with this. You know real movie critics too. I do. I know real movie critics. And you know what? I threw them all in the trash.

I picked you guys up off the shelf and I said I want to play with you so The the next so the thing part of the thing we're talking about the dark universe here That's an interconnected universe with all the universal monsters one of the things that has been a huge part of the universal monsters history and What seems to wet moviegoers' appetites like nothing else is crossovers. People love it when one thing crosses over into another thing. Maybe Scooby-Doo shows up, maybe Laurel and Hardy show up.

What the fuck? Who cares? So, Universal has a pretty deep ass catalog of other very popular franchises. And I'm going to run down some of these names and I want to know what your thoughts are just right off the top of your dome whether or not you think that has good crossover opportunities with our newly reformed Dark Universe. So starting up, this is the biggest one, Fast and the Furious. How do they handle a Dracula? How do they handle one?

Well, I mean, the typical way, stakes, sunlight, garlic. Do they have those in the cars? I mean, the cars have trunks, they could pick them up, you know. Now I am thinking of, like, you attach the stakes to the front of the cars, like jousting things. That's actually a good idea. I feel like this is a natural progression for the Fast and Furious franchise. Especially because Dracula's are also about family. When you turn someone into a vampire, they become part of your vampire family.

And so the idea of our beloved gearheads and their family going up against a Dracula family that is, if anything, maybe even more tightly knit than our carboys and girls. Now, do we have any other characters, characters any of our other universal monsters would do Would mesh well with this. I don't know I don't know if a Gill man is the best fit for it Probably not but I could see so here's what I would see if you're gonna bring other monsters in the boat based If it's a car that turns into a boat you can do there's no data car that turned into a spaceship there's no reason you can't do that but I think if you have a Dracula turns one of the one

of the Furioso's or whatever they're called the the members that they have a name like as a group the Toretto family I guess the Toretto's Dracula turns one of the Toretto's they've got to replace them Frankenstein is gonna drive this car that actually is a good idea this. This is gonna seem tasteless. Paul Walker, bring him back to life as a Frankenstein. He drives it. That is tasteless. You're right.

You're right. Correct. But, I mean, I said right up top, no idea is a bad idea. This is a safe space for sharing. He said it. He said none were bad, yeah. Okay. This space is safe, but unfortunately it's being broadcast out to the world.

Yeah, outer space is very unsafe. You're not gonna last long. We have another big franchise, and this is one that is near and dear to Elliot Kalin's heart. That's right, the Jurassic World franchise. That's his favorite generation of that idea. It's, of course, the world. Now, obviously we know Sam Neill already has a problem with Invisible Manz. Uh-huh. It's true. Sure. Because he was chasing an invisible Chevy Chase. Now, obviously we know Sam Neill already has a problem with invisible mans. Uh huh.

It's true. Yep. Sure. Because he was chasing an invisible Chevy Chase. As read in the memoirs. It's right there in his name all over the place. Yeah. His name is Chase.

Yep. I would cast him. Are there, what other monsters would have good crossover potential? CP with the Jurassic World for red shots. Oh yeah. For a moment I forgot what frame, we got so far down the invisible memoirs of a visual man hole. over potential CP with the Jurassic World franchise. I forgot what frame we got so far down the invisible memoirs of a visual man. For a second it was like, the Toretto family with dinosaurs? Sign me up. So dinosaurs are in the Jurassic franchise, they're often in a tropical setting.

They're in these Costa Rican islands, so that seems to me like a good place for a gill man. He does not fit so much in the car culture, unless he's driving like a big daddy Roth type strange car device. But I think you could easily have, they're investigating these dinosaurs and there's also, they find in the lagoon there, there's creatures there, there's Gill men. Yeah.

Right. Or how's this for a very, very boring movie? The Invisible Man in Jurassic World, he's trying to get away from those dinos, so what he does is he turns invisible and he walks out of the park and everyone's happy. Yeah, yeah, that's, I mean. Sure, yeah. Sounds like a slice of life.

Slice of life, little stripe, you know? I mean, it's kind of just like a nature program because you can't see the invisible man So you just see it pan over like the landscape and see a bunch of dinos and stuff and then it's over and this next franchise Is a crossover of both cars and things from an ancient time. That's right the back to the future franchise How do they how do we handle? I mean, I feel like this makes sense Marty McFly accidentally goes back to old-timey, Transylvania Right. I mean, I think we're avoiding there's money on the table the fact that Marty McFly is a werewolf in a different. Yes

So I think we we play around with that one maybe and I don't know if they switch places The the Teen Wolf and Marty McFly or Marty McFly becomes a Teen Wolf and he's like not again I think like this is happening for he looks at the camera and he's like not again. I think like this is happening for He looks at the camera and he's like not again the whole audience like we know what he's talking about Yeah, he goes back in time to like it to like a Romanian village in the 1800s Been by a wolf or 1600 demon been by wolf comes back. Yeah, not again. Oh Deja vu and then they you know, I also feel like the Back to the Future series, as it stands, kind of makes hay from like sort of evil doppelganger versions of characters through time.

So if we throw in some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, maybe, you know, we've normally just seen like good characters be good through time or, you know, maintain traits, but what if like we get an evil Marty, he's taking the potion, who takes the... Or an evil Doc Brown. Doc Brown makes perfect sense. Doc Brown, he drank that potion and he turned into an evil Dr.

Hyde Doc Brown. Yeah. Yeah. OK, now we're going to think a little bit outside the box. How about the American Pie franchise? I hope you're listening, Chris. What do we got? Yeah, what can they... I mean, we've already used Dracula, but I feel like if the mom that they want to sleep with is a vampire.

Stifler's mom is... Yeah, Count Stifler's mom. Yeah. It's part of her allure. Yeah. You can also do... We're going to spend a summer in our college years. What age are the American Pie gang at this point?

I mean, now they're our age. They're in their 40s, yeah. But I guess probably the newer movies have completely new... It's like the children of the original American Piers, right? Except Eugene Levy's still there, right? Probably, yeah. I mean, if it's the children of the original American Piers, he's still the granddad. Yeah, because like, I mean, the concept of the movie franchise is not like we're like aging with them as they go It's about like high school and you're thinking of the seven franchise Which only has one scene with someone having sex with a pie and that's in that's in 34 up

You know what we've been forgetting this whole time We've been forgetting the mummy and I feel like the mummy would fit right in. Oh, I didn't forget the mummy. It's fine. We could talk about them now. Different kind of milk? Mummy, I'd like to. Exactly.

These horny teens wonder what's under those wrappings. It's all about that. I think that, I feel like the Stephen Soderbergh. Haha. Stephen Soderbergh's mummy.oderbergh. Ha ha. Ha ha. Stephen Soderbergh's Mummy. Stephen Soderbergh's Mummy film. Stephen Soderbergh American Pie. In any case, they're all interesting.

These are all good choices. The Stephen Soderbergh's Mummy movie. I think the thing that it did that was most revolutionary was like looking straight at the audience and being like, what if the mummy was hot? Yeah, finally. What if everyone you saw on screen made you horny? Yeah. What if this, I don't know, kind of built your whole sexual identity around?

Okay, so we talked about American Pie. How about Shrek? How about it? How about Shrek? Crossovers with Shrek? Are you offering some? No, thanks. I feel like, I've had enough, please. I feel like Shrek and Frankenstein could get along pretty well.

Yeah. And our final crossover, this one I don't believe is the universal property, but I bet we can make this happen. The Muppets. The Muppets are not a universal property. And the Muppets. This is, I mean like, this is, I think that with the Muppets, you got to stick with one of the classic gothic stories.

You can't really like, I mean, other than, I mean, I guess that the creature from the Black Lagoon, obviously in Kermit, would have some things to talk about. But if you're looking for something for the whole cast to do, you gotta go with one of these classic gothic pieces of literature. This is the one that I think the most has to be a monster party movie, as they used to call the big ones. They're in a Gothic location, but Frankenstein's there, Dracula's there, maybe Miss Piggy becomes the bride of Frankenstein.

It's almost like some kind of a mash. You want to see Miss Piggy with that hair. Somebody knows all the words. Exactly. If only there was a mash of some kind. Oh, yes, you have Hawkeye and radar from mash They're also there. Yeah Yeah, as you mentioned you all the characters from the TV show smash the one about a Broadway show I think I think you could if you have the mummy if you have the Muppets you have that you have the means to bring

In all those characters. Yeah, the mummy Dracula Everybody's going to that movie and you want to see it now I feel like you can either do it one of two ways where the Muppets characters are doing their kind of repertory version where they're playing those parts or the Muppets are on the road and they end up at a castle and all those creatures are coming to bedevil them, you know?

And like Gonzo turns into a werewolf or whatever. That sounds amazing. I mean, Fozzie or Animal, Animal's already kind of a werewolf. Animal's already a Mr. Hyde. Yes. That's true. Okay, so those are some great... Sorry.

We learned that Animal is Sam the Eagle's Hyde. Or those are the two... Or they give him the potion and he becomes a calm animal. You see the Dr. Jekyll side of him. That would be great. That would be funny. Okay, so we've talked crossovers. I think we have some, there's some fertile ground there. Let's move on to merchandise.

Now the first one, we're running out of time, so we gotta be rapid-fire here. The most important merchandise choice, popcorn buckets. What's the popcorn bucket looking like? Obviously Nosferatu already did a coffin. We're not gonna be eating. Did they already? That's what we're doing.

The question is, you gotta ask, who has the most fuckable popcorn bucket opportunities What's the most important? What's a Frankenstein popcorn bucket look like Elliot Frankenstein popcorn bucket? I feel like it's gonna look like the slab he's on with the electrodes sticking out of it, you know If you're really going all out with this popcorn bucket, it makes a sound like thunder You know if you're really going all out with this popcorn bucket it makes a sound like thunder It'll like like a lightning flashing on it the mummy It's gonna look like I mean I feel like Frankenstein's head kind of looks like a popcorn Do a popcorn bucket of franks and said to I like that too because then it's like you're eating his brain That's for the wolf man. You have a lot of fur which you know you always love to have like a lot of loose hair in your

Popcorn so it's not so good. There's butter Yeah, not good for the popcorn, but it does increase like how good it feels on your genitals if you're using it for its intended purpose. Yeah, yeah, for sex purposes. Yeah. Ignoring that. Invisible man, I feel like an invisible man popcorn bucket. It's a little bit hard, right? It's like a see-through. See-through. See-through popcorn bucket.

You claim that you were selling them in invisible popcorn. No, it's a see-through bucket, Dan. You don't just sell them nothing and say you have your invisible popcorn. This popcorn is a tactile sensation. You taste it and touch it. It's not about just looking at it. The price, like the margins on mine are so good though. That's true. It's 100% from popcorn because it's not real. It's really emperor's new popcorn bucket in a way. Exactly.

Mommy, it's shaped like a pyramid. Creature from the Black Lagoon? I don't know. That's a good question. The creature head, I guess. Dr. Jackal, Mr. Hyde, half of it looks like a normal bucket, half of it looks like a crazy bucket. Yeah, exactly. Oh man, we crushed this.

Okay, restaurant tie-ins. Restaurant tie-ins are super important. You need to get Matt Singer and Griffin Newman out there chomping down on them. You need to make them eat a lot of stuff at Denny's or whatever. Yeah, make the food as gross as possible for them. It's all green. All the food's green, you know, but then naturally,

like you have green fish sticks with green fish meat in them for the Gill man, you know. You could also have green fish sticks with green fish meat for the Invisible Man. That's true, or Frankenstein's Monster. Or Dracula. It's all green fish sticks. Yeah. I mean, Dracula, there's a steak aspect to it, likestein's Monster. Or Dracula. It's all green fish sticks. Yeah. I mean, Dracula's like, there's a steak aspect to it. Like it's a real big steak.

Some sort of, yes, strawberry shake too. It's a steak with strawberry sauce on it. Oh, there you go. Which sounds disgusting. You know, but that's the blood on this steak. Yeah. So, I think we have- And Wolfman, the food has hair in it.

Yeah, just like Dan Stave at the popcorn. We've done some good work. I think we're going to closeman the food has hair in it. Yeah, just like Dan said with the popcorn. I think we're gonna close this out on a, like a more personal note, do you guys have any personal memories of movie tie-in products that you remember fondly or you think have a particularly weird story on? For instance, me, my favorite NES game

was the Gremlins 2 NES game. And I remember taking a... I'm sure I told this story before, but I took a picture of my winning screen when I beat the game and sent it into Nintendo Power. I was that proud of it. After I defeated the Spider Gremlin. I mean, the thing is, it's unsurprising

that my brain immediately went to Gremlins 2. I mean, I don't mean Gremlins 2, the new batch, I mean Gremlins as well. Comma duo. Because I forget, you know, like whatever fast food joint was doing this, I had the entire run of the like story records that told the story of Gremlins.

I had those too, yeah. I think it was McDonald's thing. I think, like the really thin kind of Flexi records, yeah. I think it was McDonald's thing. I think, with the really thin, kind of flexy records. Yeah, but it was still impressive. I mean, those were the days of tie-ins, man, to do a whole series of records that told the story of the movie Gremlins and have it at a fast food place. I totally remember listening to that.

I listened to it so much that my mom would always joke around about how one of them started, Kate and Billy! She was a big Kate and Allie fan. Yeah, I feel like I don't... Most of the tie-ins I can think of are either cups with pictures on them from fast food restaurants or toys, but I think this is before my time, but I'll just mention the classic C-3PO tape dispenser, where for whatever reason they sculpted it, where C-3PO is laying back with his legs spread

and the tape roll, the scotch tape is right in between his legs. Like that's perfect. How else would you do it? I don't understand. I mean, you might, at that point, you might rethink the concept of a C-3PO tape dispenser. No, I love that.

Yeah, listeners, write in, write an email to Dan or respond to this. Or all of us. Or all of us with some of your favorite movie tie-in merch. It's going to help me in my new job. Thank you so much for listening. This has been a Flophouse Mini. Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer, for putting this beautiful thing all together and sticking it right in your ear balls.

I would also like to thank our network, Maximum Fun. You're not looking for minimum fun. If you're looking for minimum fun, you're in the wrong place, because Maximum Fun is where we're at, and there's plenty of really great shows there. I'd like to thank my two co-hosts, Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin for helping me out with this project.

And it also gave me an excuse when I'm like, what can I talk to what do I have in common with Elliot Universal Monsters baby okay so I hate them so I stand for mainly to bedevil him thanks for tolerating this irritating discussion yeah nothing I like worse than monster talk so again for the Flophouse I've been Stuart Wellington I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliot Kalin. Boo!

Bye. ["The Flophouse"] Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.