The Flop House - FH Mini 126 - Impressionable Peaches

Episode Date: April 19, 2025

While we were all fortunate enough to record in-person, Stuart filled Dan and Elliott with booze and forced them to do celebrity "impressions." It's either our most fun episode or our most embarrassing! Or both!Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!”

Hey, welcome to another Flophouse Mini, a mini episode of the Flophouse Podcast, a podcast that's normally about bad movies. But tonight we're doing a mini, that's a shortened episode where we're going to be doing something else. Tonight, I'm going to be your host. My name is Stuart Wellington and joining me are Dan McCoy, Elliot Charles Kalin. Lovely. So if you're a longtime listener, I guess I'm the only one brave enough to reveal my middle name. Okay, what's your middle name? Kirk. Mine is Lenton. No fake. It's Lenton. Yeah, Stuart Lenton Wellington.

So Stuart Lenton Wellington is talking and I'm going to continue. So if you're a longtime listener of the Flophouse, you know that we've been around a while and it might be time for a change. My co-hosts have been pushing me. They say, you know what, it's time for us to shift over to a more popular form of entertainment, time to turn into a sketch comedy show, sketch comedy show and whatever sketch comedy show. That's why there's so many of them.

Yep. And they're all successful and never have stinker seasons or episodes. So. Even the most successful sketch comedy show of all time is, I would say, mostly stinkers. The Ben Stiller Show is mostly stinkers? Okay, I guess in your America.

Now, an essential element of every sketch comedy show is impressions, right? People love impressions. Yeah, Monty Python's pretty impression based. Rich Little, Michael Winslow. Impression of Rich Little? These are not sketch performers, necessarily. People love impressions.

So one of the things the Flomp House needs to brush up on. You didn't have a third example. Michael Winslow does impressions of sounds, I guess? Rob Brydon and Steve Coog. Okay, fair, fair. I got it. And I got, that's a twofer. Is this a twofer?

It's two people. Twofer. So what we're going to do tonight is we're going to work on our impressions because I think the Flomp House needs to up its game. And the way we're going to do it, it's funny that I say game because we're going to be doing an impressions game.

Oh dear Lord. That's why I insisted we all get alcoholic beverages for this episode. Just to break down the walls, to loosen up, you know. Of consciousness, man. Get nasty. Ah, okay, so. In front of me are two stacks of cards.

One of them is a stack of cards that are the names of celebrities or characters from movies. This was a list that was collected by my wife, Charlene, so if they're bad or wrong, she's to blame, not me. I'm off scot-free. The other is a, and that, I'm gonna hand you a card, and that's going to be the celebrity or character you're going to have to do an impression of.

Normal charade rules apply, you can't just say the name. So not like the usual impressions we do? Not Saturday Night Live impression, or my impression. Or your impressions. The other card is going to be a card that you have to, that we reveal before you attempt your impression, and that is the scenario that you are doing the impression for, okay?

Wow, this is so much more work than I wanted to do on this episode. Guess what? It's a lot of work, and I helped. So. It seems like you do the most work. You had to write out cards. I had to write a bunch of cards.

You do a lot of work. I also, I'm not just making you guys do it, I'm playing as well, which means I am exposing myself. I'm revealing my inner self. Yeah. Exposing ourselves. Nope. So.

You get a lot of good card. So you do the impression, whichever of the two of us who get the, will make a guess if we get it right, we get the card to represent a point, you get a point, and if somebody gets the impression you do, you get a point, so you keep the other card. Oh, okay. Oh, get it right.

So, sorry, we're gonna guess who the people are. Yes. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That seems when he said charade rules, that kind of, yeah. Yeah, charade rules. It wasn't movie charade. And it's just call out, yes, which's charade rules. It wasn't Call out. Yes

Which has no rules just right? No. Yeah, uh-huh. It was the original what Applebee's outback and I remember, okay the movie charade Yeah back Applebee's They said you know, what we better if this movie wasn't kind of like a Hitchcock type thriller was instead of family restaurant It was a chain. Oh, it was like a William Castle style gimmick. There was a blooming onion in every seat. Every seat, wow. Okay, so.

Be careful, Cary Grant's doing the trailer, he goes, when you see my new movie, Charade, just be careful when you sit down, because there's gonna be a blooming onion in this seat. Oh, wow. It's fucking crazy, by the way. When you go to Outback Steakhouse, you go to sit down at your table,

and they've already placed an appetizer that you've paid for on your chair. On the seat. That's what's called Australian style. You have to be careful, because you paid for that, and you might not want to eat it after your quarter and pay to smush it into.

I pay for this full seat, and I'm only going to be using the edge that does not have a woman on it. I will say this, it's an Australian style restaurant and they eat down under back, down there, which means through their blood. That's why, yeah. That's what outback means.

Yeah. I'm sorry to all of our Australian listeners. Uh-huh, good day is what I would say. Because it's nighttime here, but it's daytime there. That's the joke of it. So since Elliot is the visiting team, he's gonna be going first. Oh man.

So let me pass you, this is the name of the character or celebrity. Okay. The scenario is listing side effects. You have to list side effects as this celebrity or character. And I'm making up the side effects. Yeah, or you can look up, I don't know. It's an improv game.

You can Google what, Larazapam or whatever. You know what, this reminds me, I won't get, this isn't this, I'll get into this one in a minute. Later, remind me to do the character which fits into this game that I was doing for my younger son earlier today I'll just tell you his name was general Williams to cum succumb it I'll do him for you later in the game Unless he's on one of these cards unless the name is Kermit and the can the scene is fighting the Civil War All right, oh'll do this one. Garsh! High blood pressure! Goofy!

Yeah, you got it! So I'm going to keep one of these that's on my little stack. I'll hold that one. Thank you. I didn't even get to gambling addiction. There's a number of medications where there's increased risk of gambling addiction, which I think is a very interesting side effect. Hey, let's get real everybody.

If you're having trouble quitting gambling addiction, seek help. Yes. Yeah, please. Thanks for getting real there, Stu. Okay, Dan, Dan, since Dan biffed that last one and that is your character and your scenario, cast a spell. Right.

Jesus. OK, there... Jimmy Stewart. No, I'm not like Jimmy Stewart. I'm not who I want to be. Because he did sound like Jimmy Stewart. Sylvester Stallone. Tom Brokaw. I'm so bad at this. Walter Cronkite.

Wait, hold on. I got a cage yes fucking I could not I could not get upon the right amount of what I still don't think it was Nicholas Cage no I know it was terrible I was like trying to hit I was trying to find the right role cage is that he's swallowing his own voice all the time. Yes, okay. Okay, so what does Charlene have in mind? This is for you. This is for me, I'm in the game, baby. I can't believe I biffed that so hard.

Telling us the plot of your favorite movie. Oh, okay. Well, there's this star... Oh, wait, okay, wait. Okay, there's going to be a lot of, okay, wait, in this episode. Okay, wait, wait, I'll tell you. I mean, I don't wanna just steal a bit I saw on the internet, so I'm like...

Yeah. Well, my horse named Seabiscuit. Uh-huh. Toby Maguire? Uh, no. When you said my horse. What's my favorite movie? When you said my horse named Seabiscuit.

Damn it. I feel like Charlene wrote this one with me in mind because I love it so much. Oh, oh me. Oh, Mark Simpson. Or Julie Cameron. Like we're saying, Huel Hauser. I'm like, I don't want to just do the Marge Simpson as Marlon Brando in the Godfather bit.

But it makes me so happy. Oh, that's great. Okay, so Elliot, you're next. Let's do this. We're so good at this. Okay, I don't even know why we're doing this game. Because we're already really good at this game. Dan, how many cards do you have?

I'm disguised. Elliot, your character is consoling Bambi after Bambi's mom's death. Oh, wow. Well, it's a cycle of life, Bambi. This is Tom Brokaw. Yes, you're right, it's Tom Brokaw. Okay. Man has entered the forest. Oh man.

Oh yeah, that was a good... That was a good pull for Ellen. That was a layup. That was not fair that I got that one. It's like, we're doing talents today. Michael Jordan slam dunks. Yeah, Michael Jordan gambling addiction. Oh no, please seek help. Dan, you gotta deliver a pick up line.

Okay, he's like. Pick up line. Are you tired? Because you've been running through my hair all day. Is that Gonzo? No, Gonzo would be a lot gentler. I can actually do with Gonzo. Are you? Is that Mark McKinney's chicken lady?

Are you an angel? No, yeah, no, you're Anakin Skywalker. No, it isn't, no, no, it's not. Yeah. Is it Mark Simpson again? No, yeah, no your Anakin Skywalker Yeah, is it Mark Simpson You're so beautiful. You've got my head spinning Gilbert Godfrey. No, no, yes. I I'm starting to put subtle clues in the Rick mile of your god Okay, that's funny. Rick Mile. Oh God.

The Cryptkeeper. I was gonna guess Beelzebub doesn't sound like him at all. No, I can't do that. You remember he's gotta be delivering a pick, or she has to be delivering a pickup line. I wanted to do one, but I'm like, oh this person, their age is not appropriate for what I wanted to do one, but I'm like, oh, this person, their age is not appropriate for what I wanted to say. Okay.

So it's a child. Child or a old man? Mm-hmm. Is this false? Now it is. I couldn't even understand what you were saying. Okay, Dan, do you wanna give up? I wanna give up on this. Okay, Dan, who you want to give up? I want to give up on this

Okay, Dan who was your celebrity? Reagan from the extras That is a very hard one. That's a hard one character Yeah, that is a character unlike goofy. Who's a real person. I mean, it's a real character That Reagan yeah Zany stuff. You see when she's vomited all over that priest to a character. No, that's for you.

You got that one right. Okay, let's see. How am I doing? Ed Koch. Okay. Because he said, how am I doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speak another language poorly.

All right. Okay. Oh, poorly. Alright. Oh wow. I don't speak French. It's not Gerard Depardieu, because he speaks it very well. Sounds perfect. Sounds like Tom Brokaw again, to me. It does a little bit. I...

I... I... I... I... I... No, no, no... Someone who has a lot of trouble talking, I guess. I-ch-per-uh-ich-heisse-no-nein-nein-uh-uh. Someone who has a lot of trouble talking, I guess.

Ich-uh-boxen-gern. Barack Obama? He says uh a lot. Uh. He doesn't have trouble talking, but he says uh a lot. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Now it just sounds like Edie McClure doing the principle in Ferris Bueller when she picks up the phone. Just goes going, oh, oh, oh. You're going to find out who it is and you're going to feel like a real fool. I'm sure I'll feel terrible. It's Keanu Reeves. Le Toastito's.

Oh, so that's just alone. Oh, yeah. Nope. So that's someone as rocky? Yes, thank you. Oh, so that's just alone. Oh, nope. So that's just alone as Rocky? Yes, thank you. Nailed it. Guess so. Oh.

Well, you mentioned Tostitos. Anyone would understand this is a reference to Rocky Balboa. Man, we're doing really good here, guys. Elliot, you are attempting to pay for your books at the library. Attempting to pay for them? Yeah. I'd like to buy this stack of volumes. Dave Lynch. You got it.

RIP. You go, Dan. I had to lean back from the mic because I knew I was going to yell. Oh, man. I can't stress enough. This season of RuPaul's Drag Race had a Snatch Game where somebody went, I think it was Lydia Butthole Collins, went as David Lynch and it was such a bummer.

Did not even do the voice. It was not cool. Very disappointing. Thumbs down. But Lydia Butthole Collins, great drag queen. Yeah, but David deserves better. Truly a great artist. Okay, Dan.

You are requesting medicine from your doctor for a sprained penis. Like Doc, I don't know, like a... It's kind of hippie, I guess. Like it. Like Doc, it's so weird. Oh, John Travolta. When you say weird, it means John Travolta. Weird. It's rarely that I feel like an actor is identified with one word that I don't know if he's ever actually said on film. This one's gonna be tough

because I don't think Elliot has seen this movie. This is gonna be hard, yeah. Is it from the last 20 years? Because I may not have then, yeah. Putting on a show for your parents. So I'd be putting on a show for your parents. For my'd be putting on a show for your parents or my parents Better be pretty pretty tame clean. Yep. It's gotta be your parents don't like like a really raw comedy set I mean like up there he's smoking a cigarette in front of a brick wall

And he's like they did watch a bunch of fucking are you being served which is all pussy jokes Yeah, so you have a classy ones. Yeah, because it's British versus... So, Mom and Dad, I am doing a show for you. This is going to be difficult because it's not the character with the big name. Is it the... it's the guy from Anorah? It is. Dan is correct, it is Igor from Enora.

Good job, Dan. Elliot, have you seen Enora? I have seen Enora. It was one of the few best picture nominees that I saw and I was glad it won, because I liked it a lot. Yeah, okay. I know the backlash to it instantly happened as soon as it won Best Picture, but I liked it.

That happens. Elliot, there you go, buddy. Okay. And you are talking about snakes. I'm a snake? Wow. Love it. Now, this is a rattlesnake, and it'll make you go, ooh,

and then, see, it was a cottonmouth snake, it'll make you make the same sound, ooh, and then. Wait, Tim the Toolman Taylor? Well, Tim Allen, I'll give it to you, the same sound. Ooh. Wait, Tim the Toolman Taylor? Well, Tim Allen, I'll give it to you, yeah. Okay. All he does is that one sound basically. I've never seen Last Man Standing. Maybe he introduced a new sound for that show.

Yeah, he's got a new sound. He's got another one. He's got another show? He's got another one. The premise is that he's a... Oh, his daughter moved back or something? Yes, he's an aging boomer who's got everything set up and he's got everything all figured out and then his younger daughter

Is it Kat Dennings? Kat Dennings, who probably has a kid, has to move back in with him So he has that boomer fantasy of being in charge still and dispensing wisdom, you know So every season there is a new show where someone has to move back in with their parents And it's nice to know that Tim Allen pulled that card this time. Dan? Oh, geez, Louise. Okay.

That's who it was? He told us the name already? You're on Shark Tank pitching your newest invention. Okay, hold on. I'm going to stand up for this. Oh, wow. Okay. I'll try and still be good for the microphone. Slowly. I'm gonna stand up for this. Oh wow, okay. I'll try and still be good for the microphone.

Slowly. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh that I didn't get that one. I feel like I would've nailed it, but Dan did a great job. You did a great job, yeah. I don't remember the castle freak gesturing to his penis as much in the movie, but. Because I was pitching my shark tank invention. What was your invention? It was a protector. Oh, like a cage.

For your penis. Okay, I'm next and mine is... Doing Shakespeare. Doing Shakespeare. doing Shakespeare. Doing Shakespeare. Doing Shakespeare. Okay, give me one second. Let me get into character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Become the character. Alas, poor Yorick, y'all. I knew him, Horatio. I may just be a single mom who works too hard, loves her kids, and will never stop. Is this Reba? Is this Reba? Is this Reba? Damn it, no. What'd you say? Did I say Reba?

It is definitely Reba McIntyre, baby. Oh, it's Reba McIntyre, okay. This is, the funny thing is, I only know that through you, Stuart. You're referencing Reba, the show Reba a lot. That's my turn. You know, there's a thing about playing games that sometimes you like sometimes get a way.

You got to play the player. You got to play the player. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Elliott, you are attempting to give instructions to your barber. Oh, I don't want it too short on the sides. I want it real long on the sides. We'll make it short on the back.

That's Mr. Al Pacino. You got that right. It's Al Pacino. The loudest man in Hollywood. I saw him. I think I've said this before. I saw him on stage in Merchant of Venice and I was like, his acting style makes total sense for this. He's in a theater. He's on stage at Shakespeare. He's real big. Yeah.

Yeah. They're like, do we need to give you one of those mics that they that comes down from down your forehead He's like no And it's also it's like in the movie heat it makes sense when you realize those characters high the whole movie. Yes Yeah, Dan you are begging for your life like I don't like why do you want to kill me like I Brad Pitt fuck I like I'm trying like have an idea in my head that it's just like not translating to this is why usually Impressions are worked out. Yeah mirror. Yeah, you know sort of like okay I'm not at the spur of the moment in front of a live studio audience. Oh, that's okay

This is I mean in whose lives anyway, I'll do it better now That's true. I promise. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't have done it worse. So Hey, man, what's the problem? Why are you so mad at me? I don't understand. Owen Wilson? No, he would say wow. He would say wow a lot, yeah. Look, it's very scary.

I don't know. I really don't know how to do this person. He's got weird tics, but it's like. Kristen Glover. Jay Baruchel. Mao Tse-Tung. Look, just cause I'm. Timmy Shalabim.

I'm gonna resort to the coward's way of clues in the. Yes, is it Saoirse Ronan? Is it Saoirse Ronan? Is it Saoirse Ronan? Is it Jack Loudse Ronan? Is it Saoirse Ronan? Is it Jack Loudon? Hey, just because I'm your doctor and I stalked you. I don't want you to... Stalked by my doctor.

Stalked by yourself. Wait, Eric Roberts? Yes. Okay. I was trying to do that kind of like, louche sort of like, he's got like this weird like, like suave mumbliness. Yeah. Because he wants to be Marlon Brando. Yeah.

What if I was a cat who was talking? That really would have said it was... Nailed it. That it was Eric Roberts, yeah. Hi, is this Kelly? Yes, this is Kelly. Hi Kelly, this is Jesse Thorne, co-host of Jordan, Jesse Go. Hi, Jesse.

I'm calling because you were just named Max Funds Member of the Month for April. Oh wow. This is so surreal. How long have you been a Jordan Jesse Go listener? Probably eight years. I actually saw you guys at the Bell House in Brooklyn in 2019. Was seeing us the reason that you started listening to the show? No, I had been listening for a while. Why did you end up becoming a member?

It's really just been such a dependable source of laughter and joy and comfort. I just appreciate that and I didn't want to take it for granted. So I wanted to contribute and show my support because I don't want it to ever end. Kelly, thank you so much for talking with me and thank you so much for being a member of Max Fun. Absolutely. It's my pleasure. Totally worth it. If you're a Max Fun member, you can become the next Max Fun member of the month.

Support us at maximafun.org slash join. This season on the Adventure Zone, Abnibles. Get ready for a brand new crime fighting trio, here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City. Featuring Justin McElroy as Axelile, the firefighting axolotl. Clint McElroy as Roger Mooer,

the debonair cow of mystery. Griffin McElroy as Navy Seal, the raw seal that has never served in the armed forces. And Travis McElroy as every other sw the Ross Seal that has never served in the Armed Forces, and Travis McElroy as every other swell critter in River City. This swear-free, Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Greetings and salutations, this is Dan breaking in with a late breaking ad from

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So I hope no one's listening to this with their family. Stuart's true life favorite, occupation. Occupation? Yeah, he does acupressure. He does acupuncture while he tells them there's no Santa. Favorite occupation occupation Okay look Sean So you gotta stop believing in the center junior Yeah, yeah. Before the entire word had come out, it would have been over. Yeah. Okay, that was a good one.

You had Santa, but you lost it. Sort of male Santa to the marks for us. See, I feel like everyone would have gotten that one. They bring milk, you bring cookies. That's the Santa way. Elliott, you are low-key talking shit about a friend's house Now I don't want to say that vinyl siding is a bad choice Yes, this is Mr. Walken. All right

That guy's in there somewhere. Boles! So many! He clearly hired someone else to decorate no one decides to put a vase with a sprig of wheat My friend's rocking is so close to my Woody Allen's the only problem cuz I'm Jewish What's up with that smell? There's so much Contact paper on The counters you walk into the bathroom kitty litter all over the floor a contact paper on the counters. You walk into the bathroom, kitty litter, all over the floor.

I put my shoes on before I walk into his bathroom. It is shocking how close yours gets to the video. It's my bathroom you're talking about now. Yeah. Dan, you got yours? Yeah, I got it. I'm glad that as we get deeper into the episode, I don't want to say Tronker, I want to say deeper into the episode,

we all, like, all of a sudden we get emboldened to do impressions. Okay, Dan, you are, this just says, four score and seven years ago. Oh, God. I'm still walking. You're walking into this one. Yeah, you mean a Palikonzer? Yeah, hold on.

Is this time for me to do General William to come to Kermit? Okay, so this is what I was doing for my younger son over there today. We walked by the statue of Sherman next to the Central Park. I was going, war is hell, and the meaning of that is you have to make it as hard as possible for the other side, so we cut a swath through the South, we left nothing for them to eat,

we burned their towns, that kind of stuff. I was doing better earlier, when I was less drunk. Yeah. Okay, we love this. Hold on. Now man, like, four score in like seven years. Matthew McConaughey. Yeah.

Thank you. I was gonna guess. Who's that one? I thought it was, what's his name? Who's the singer for who sounds kinda like this? He's an iron giant, Harry Connick Jr. I was starting to like, you know. Every time I think of Harry Connick Jr.,

I think of that scene in Copycat where he refers to panties and squirrel covers. He's playing like the most crazed hillbilly I know, yeah. in that movie. It's like a pretty good movie and then he's going so far over the top at it. This one, I feel, again, I feel like Charlene picked this one for me because she wants me to fail at it, but that's okay.

Doing basketball play by play. She does want you to fail. Yeah. OK. To Jordan, then to Scottie Pippen, I'm a very important actress. Nancy Gross? Terry Gross? I'm sorry. I am a chameleon of an actress. Meryl Streep. That cannot stop telling you what's happening in this basketball game. Now Jordan, a three-pointer. Oh my.

Tilda Swinton. Thank you. Okay. It took me a while to get there. I mean, Dan, do you have a Tilda Swinton. Thank you. Okay. Oh. Okay. It took me a while to get there. I mean, Dan, Dan, do you have a Tilda Swinton? You said you had a Tilda Swinton. I don't have a Tilda Swinton. Dan, you earlier today,

I thought you were bragging about your Tilda Swinton. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm just sitting back thinking, how does one do Tilda Swinton? Yeah, it's very hard, very hard, yeah. I think that kind of slightly alien quality. I see what you're doing with the clipped sort of. Yeah, you saw what I was, listeners of like kind of slightly. I see what you're doing was like the clipped sort of yeah like

Right in how do you do your tillers? Don't tell me it don't tell us about till days went in the It's too I don't like the accent on that one boom boom okay, you're ordering iced cream Boom. Okay. You're ordering iced cream. How do I do this to make it clear that I'm not just doing this voice, but it's actually this person. This person has this voice. It's William T. Kensa Sherman. Now the butter covered fly ice cream. No, it's not Kermit. Let's see.

I want to have vanilla ice cream. I want to add sprinkles on it. I want another scoop of rocky road ice cream. I can't really do it. I can't really do it. Uh, the nanny. Not too far away. Okay, okay.

You want me to give you the nanny? Demi Mazer? No. Not too far away. Okay. You want me to give you the nanny? Demi Mazer? No, not too far away. Lady Gaga? No. Stewart's just reading his crush list.

Marissa Tomei? Yes, Marissa Tomei, exactly. Wow, I can't provide the clue that unlocked. I was waiting to have to do the biological clock line about ice cream. If you got closer, I would propose. Wait, what do we got? I feel like Dan's had some bad luck. He's had a run of bad luck here. Oh, boy.

Okay, are you ready for your scenario, Mr. McCoy? Yeah. You're explaining Transformers. Oh boy. Okay, are you ready for your scenario, Mr. McCoy? Yeah. You're explaining Transformers. There's the Decepticons baby and the Autobots are good. You know, you know they're gonna shoot each other with lasers cause they're the- Madonna? Yes. I just went cheap on that one. Yeah, you just did a song at Madonna's. No, you deserve it. They're gonna shoot each other with lasers cuz they don't yes I mean you can kind of do the same voice I did for Mr. Tobey. Yeah, yeah, it's fair

Okay You made a face to it as if you're gonna throw that card away It was a thing where I'm like I feel like you guys wish you had gotten that one. It's like an animal crackers or harpoon just It was the thing where I'm like, I feel like you guys wish you had gotten that one. It's like an animal crackers. Harpo just rips off the card. Throw him like, yeah, that's a good. No spades. I'm delivering a wedding toast. So, this guy's a real wise-acre.

He's a real potty animal. Curly, Moe. Harley Quinn. He's a he's a real party animal curly mo So what's up doc But I feel like the first part I was That was the cheapest of cheap moves. But I feel like the first part I was... Now that I know that it's Bugs Bunny, that all made sense to me, yeah. Okay. Elliot? I'm trying to remember what this character sounds like.

You're trying to get someone to switch seats with you on a long airplane flight. Oh, dear lord. Let's see, what does this character sound like? I'm trying to remember. Hard to say. No one knows. Because you don't know the name. Would you give me that? The window. It's not Peter Laurie. It sounds like Laurie, right?

Because... Is it Imo Phillips? Is it the like, honey smacks thing? Because um emo Phillips It's a character so Igor no Igor then suues later, yeah. Ehh. That sounds more like Gonzo, I think. Yeah. But like a perverted Gonzo.

Is it Marge Simpson? Oh no, I know one of those characters' voices. More like, ahh. No, this can't do it either. Ahh. Ooh, ahh. no, this can't do it either. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah that. I think he does a lot of like, ah, ah, ah, and I couldn't make my throw to it. You should have been like, Trixie. Trixie, I'm so my seat. Yeah, you should have been like, I want to sit next to my precious.

But that felt too cheap. That felt like a real what's up doc move. Wow. Wow. Elliot's turning the tables on the Game Master. You're calling customer service to complain. I'm terribly disappointed with you. Michael Caine. I've heard that one before. Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, yeah, fuck it. Whatever, you know, you only live once, huh? So some of these scenarios I wrote down and I feel like I've hoisted myself by saying do a rap. Oh, fuck off. The only fitting carmictose is that you got that one. Yeah, I'm glad. You deserve to get it.

If I had gotten Gollum do a rap, I would have left the game. Okay. Now I have to do a rap, I would have left the game. OK. Now I have to do a rap. You're required to by law. Just let me know. I think I have to do a rap. When I wrote it down, I showed it to Charlene and I had this look on my face like so pleased with myself. And now hours later, I'm like, what the fuck?

You have been served the poisoned goblet that you prepared for your enemy, yeah. So you come to me on my daughter's day. Or Vito Corleone. Thank you. I love it. Keep you from having to do the rap. Wait, I was like, that was just what he says in the movie. So you come to me on my daughter's day.

You say you love Rooting Pebbles in a major way. That was what I was gonna say. So he's rapping in commercial Rooting Pebbles. Or is this the in-canon, in-universe love that Peter Corleone has for Rooting Pebbles? Yeah, it's not covered in the text, but it's assumed. Yeah, no, you can, all the pieces are there. Yeah. It's more in the novel than in the film, but yeah.

That's one of these couple of cut-out, yeah. Fruzzo was eating a lot of Fruity Pebbles when it was raining. Oh, fuck off. And it found its way into the work. Okay, Elliot, There you go. Me again? Yeah, enjoy. Okay, you're doing some dirty talk.

Oh boy. I am gonna paint you like one of my custom Nintendo controllers. You got that right. Stuart was just a little bit faster. Do you think he talks to his girlfriend about that? He must. I imagine he keeps a lot of them. He's really proud of them. Yeah, why not? He should be. Dan, that's you. This is going to be a challenge. Hosting a podcast.

I'd like... Hold on. Hold on. I know how you do it. That's what the episode, that's the name of this episode is, hold on. Yeah. I'd like to talk to you about MailChimp. MailChimp...

Brian Cox? to you about MailChimp. MailChimp is a way that one can deliver messages through the I'm getting more flowery when he's not actually that way. Somebody's not flowery. James Earl Jones. And now let's turn to the next commercial, which is about Squarespace. Squarespace. I'm close on this one. Mr. Belvedere? Yes. It's the all-in-one platform.

All in one. There's a gravitas there. Yeah. I used to have a number one. That's classic Mr. Belvedere. Oh, okay. Oh, Patrick Stewart. Yes. No, that was a good one. Classic Mr. Belvedere. Oh, okay. Oh, Patrick Stewart.

Yes. That was a good one. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I got closer towards the end. Yeah, as we were going on it sounded more and more like him. If you had called yourself Sejanus, I would have understood. His character from Like Claudius. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I feel like a lot of these are Char Cherry picked voices that sounds like her. Okay. Debbie Mazer. Harley Quinn. Explaining to your Uber driver that you accidentally tipped more than you meant to. So, so, so, well, the thing is, I gave you too much tip when...

Sarah Jessica Parker. Jesse Eisenberg. It's in the ballpark of what you're suggesting, but it's like... Let's put more New York on it. I gotta get raspier. Oh, Natasha Lyonne. Thank you. Oh, there you go, okay.

Okay, this is the last one each. Oh, wow. Okay, Elliot, this is the last one each. Oh wow. Okay, Elliot, this is your last one. You are... So hard to say goodbye to yesterday, you know? Leaving a voicemail for your friend's birthday. I'm sorry, I couldn't be there. Curbit, curbit. That's not curbit.

Ray Romano? No, no, no, it sounds more like them. Hold on, they're like, I wish I could have been there your birthday. If I could turn back time. Cher, Cher. Yes, Cher. There you go.

I'm surprised Ellie didn't go lick his lips and be like. That's what I should have done. I should have put my fishnet body stocking for that one. Dan, this is your last one. Oh. You are delivering a public apology. Oh, which we delivering a public apology. Oh, which we all will be doing after this episode.

Miss Piggy. Greta Gremlin. Yes. I get my guess was going to be odd. There's the thing. I got all bricked up over here, so I knew what it was. And my. OK, well, I'm going to I'm going to probably cheat on this one a little bit we'll find out damn it Text on this one explaining to a waitress why you can't have a certain food and it's not because you're allergic It has an extra little you know zing okay

Look I Don't I just don't prefer that. There's nothing with an allergy. The thing is, you can't, you've already sat me in the corner and nobody sits Johnny in the corner. Okay. Oh, why would we get his name? From... Patrick Swayze.

No, thank you. Okay. Wow. I was actually trying to think of Two counter cards, man. What's his name? Who plays the dad? Yeah.

So with the... Jerry Horvock? Yeah, Jerry Horvock. Obviously the listener is the winner. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 19 for Stuart. I have 20. Elliot's in the lead.

I only have 17. That is, Elliot wins the game. And after doing a relatively poor job on my William DeCumseh Kermit character. Well, that's gonna be for the listeners' side. I'm assuming they're going to say that Stuart had these. We had to break their spirit, not just capture their cities,

you know, that's William DeCumseh Kermit. So who's the... This looks familiar. Oh, you wanted to show you could do an impression. Familiar. I had one in my back pocket that never came out. Yeah, I don't think I have a Muppet impression. Let's see.

Let me see. Kermit! Yep, that's it. Yeah, that was it, you did it. Speaker. Great. It's me. Okay, so yeah you did it. Beaker. Great. Meep. Okay, so yeah, so this has been a mini episode of the Flophouse. You heard us workshopping.

You're going to hear all these characters from now on. All these characters are going to be popping up, filling the airwaves, in our new sketch comedy show, The Flophouse, a podcast about bad movies. But that's going to be more for next week. This week, we're wrapping it up. I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliot Kaelin, or have I been,

or have I been? Ah, Fuzzy! Oh, ho ho! Wooka wooka! No, it's been me, Elliot, yeah. And I just wanna thank our producer, Alex Smith, for hopefully editing this thing down. You will find him on the internet as Howell Doughty.

He makes music. He produces podcasts. He's the best dude out there. You can find him on Twitch doing all kinds of great stuff. We are on Max Fun, which is a podcast network. You can check out a bunch of cool shows there. And thank you again for, I don't know, putting up with this. Okay, my name's Stuart. Bye! Ha ha! [♪ music playing.

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