The Flop House - FH Mini 129 - When Animals Compete

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

There have been a lot of animals in movies, but which are the BEST animals? Stuart Wellington leads a highly-scientific investigation.Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!

Hey, everybody. This is Stuart Wellington of the Flophouse Podcast, and I'm here to welcome you to another Flophouse Mini. Now, the Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and talk about it, but on the mini episodes, we do other stuff. But before I get into what we're going to be talking about today, let's introduce the hosts. I'm one of them, my name's Stuart Wellington, and joining me are...

Another of them, Dan McCoy. And the third and final of them, Elliot Cailin. Absolute final. So, guys... After me, the deluge. The omega. Yeah. So guys, inspired by a recent Flophouse movie,

Better Man, I thought it would be fun for us to explore some of our favorite animals of movie dumb Okay, the animals are a huge part of movies animal characters animal performers once Animals once an entire house made of animals. Yeah So how much better that movie be if it was about a house? Yeah, but I mean like the building authority favorite comedy Elliott Why don't you find people for that one? Animal houses, I mean I'll I'm sure people disagree with me in some ways about this animal house for me It's always been right up there with caddyshack one of these movies where everyone's like isn't this the funniest movie of all time?

And I'm like, I just don't like it. It's just not for me. So there's a lot of it that like I have come to realize The problems of, but when I first saw it, I found it a lot funnier than Caddyshack. I will make a mild argument that I think that the people who are assholes in Animal House, AKA everyone basically,

like we're not supposed to necessarily think that the bad, the slob house is any better than the slob house. No, I mean, it's called Animal House because they're acting like animals. Like they're're not yeah, it's not a but but yeah There's also stuff in it that did not Anyway, oh sorry are we you know we interrupting a mini or something sure no no no animal house no, please interrupt away, that's what the flop house is a

digression engine So what we're doing- That sounds like a good, either science fiction action movie or spy movie digression engine. So we're gonna be talking about different animal characters from film dumb. I've broken them down into general categories. And what I'm going to do is present a category

and I'm going to list some famous examples of them, and then we're each going to take time explaining who our favorite, what our favorite, what we think the best is, the perfect, whatever. We're gonna make a case for it, okay? We're gonna argue, okay? There's six categories, so we're gonna do the first category, and obviously,

if I don't list your favorite, you can go off my record, you don't have to use my recommendation. Oh, we can go off menu, okay great. We can go off menu. We're gonna start with the biggest one, okay? This is arguably, you're gonna start with the hot one. We are starting with the canine category. That's right, booby dogs.

You mean biggest, like most popular. Yeah, most popular. There are bigger animals, yeah. Except for Clifford, I guess. Yep, except for Clifford. Oh, I should have written Clifford down. Not Martin Short. Okay.

Martin Short's not a dog. Not a dog, no. Okay, so that, some perfect examples, perfect examples are Air Bud, Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise. Oh, not Beethoven from Immortal Beloved, okay, franchise. Oh, Benji. Not Beethoven from Immortal Beloved. Okay, yeah. No, Toto.

The band? No, not the band, I know. I saw you jumping at it. Yeah, I just heard it from the Dune soundtrack? Oh, okay. Marley from Marley and Me, Lassie, Hooch from Turner and Hooch. You had Hooch's on there.

I was like, this motherfucker doesn't get to Hooch. Yep, and though this't get the Hooch. Yep, and though this isn't the name of the character, I'm going to say that dog that was in both Widows and Game Night. That was a good year for that one dog. That little white fluffy dog that played Jesse Plummons and Viola Davis' dog. You know what I'm talking about? That was that one year when Helen Hunt was in every movie, but for that dog.

Yeah, that dog was in every movie Yeah, you don't remember that dog, Dan One that Jason Bateman bleeds all over and Brian Tyree Henry threatened. I mean I in my head I'm seeing a dog now, but it's maybe just because you you described a type of dog and now I'm plugging that into An invented memory Dan that then you would say that it was your favorite dog since you don't really remember it in there invented memory. It's weird, Dan, that then you would say that it was your favorite dog, since you don't really remember it anymore. No. Okay, so do you guys have any favorites of these dogs that I've listed? Who's the ultimate dog? Speaking of professional dogs, I am fond of

the dog whose real name in real life is Mushroom, who played the dog in both Gremlins and Pumpkin Head. Yeah, yeah. Awesome. A top dog actor, not top dog. Nope, it's a different dog. But one of the top dogs. Do you have a favorite dog character, Elliot? Favorite dog character, yes, because multiple dogs played this dog, but in the Thin Man movies, of course, there's Astel, the white haired terrier, I believe, who is, he's a

member of the family. He has a couple of, he's one of the few dogs who does comedy reactions to things that I actually find funny Especially at the very end when he covers his eyes when Myrna Lloyd and William Powell are just banging and on that train You know the that's I love that dog. So that's a great dog I mean and some of that sure is residual love for that movie the thin man But you know, it's one of those things where it's like if this is the dog that's cool enough to be in the thin man This is a cool dog, you know, you know it so but he's a cool dog I mean, I'm gonna say like it's really hard to top air

But I mean that's a dog that plays basketball and other sports guys. I feel like impressive dog I feel like setting the precedent that if his not Explicitly spelled out in the rule book then anything goes I think has had negative effects on the country ever since air, but yeah And that's not Air Bud's fault. Obviously he didn't intend that, but it's hard for me not to look at the domino effect of the Air Bud series. So you're saying there's something about

seeing a dog winning that much. No. Has caused some toxicity amongst a certain type of person who might be foiled by a dog like that. Exactly, yes. I think all you're saying is that Air Bud is a stress test for sports and then as an extension, American democracy.

I'm saying if the sports referee system cannot keep an animal out of a human sport, and I'm not saying all humans should be able to play sports. I have no problem with different kinds of humans playing sports, but the idea of let's say a dog or a muskrat or an alligator or, I mean, then you get the TV show Man vs. Beast, where you have people in a tug of war

with, I think, an elephant. That's not fair. Elephants are enormous, you know, so. It's true, that isn't fair. And eventually you get to the point where anything goes and we're in a war of all against all. Well, that's. The basic idea of a community has, you know,

fabric has disintegrated. In one of my previous newsletters, I did a comic where there's like a hawk taking off airbud, like stealing airbud from the court. And it said, nothing in a rule book said that a hawk can't take the dog. I forget what the wording was, but it's like the problem with the airbud doctrine

is that it leads to this kind of escalation. There's literally nothing in the basketball rule book that says you cannot garrot the players that doctrine is that it leads to this kind of, you know, escalation. There's literally nothing in the basketball rule book that says you cannot garrot the players of the opposing team because they felt they didn't need to put that in there. But it's not in the rule book. It's just a norm is the problem. Your garroting wire. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, just put norm out there. Just put norm from cheers on the field. There's nothing in the rule book that says that Norm can't take over. It's an all-Norm team. Norm from Cheers, that name's Gnorm. Other Norms? Do you have any other Norms to name or only those? I think there's a superhero called Normal Man, you know, that could be Norm.

I don't have any other Norms. Now, I do like... I listen to Beethoven from the Beethoven franchise. I have to say I'm a big fan of Charles Grodin getting a fat paycheck. That's not the dog. Yeah, the dog didn't make that decision. Did you guys ever see Marley and Me? And also, if you want Charles Grodin to get a fat paycheck,

then maybe Clifford with Martin Short is the Clifford you should have on that list, you know. That's true, yeah. I didn't see Marley and Me because... Huge financial windfall for him. To me that, so there's a genre of movie that I think we could call sort of dog tearjerker Yeah, we're like it's like yeah, the dogs gonna die. Yeah, or like I'm just shortening to dog jerker, right? No, it's a different job

That's a job People I mean if you love what you do Work a day in your life you do jerk a day in your life. Yeah, so Dan continue But I'm not necessarily seeking out a movie where it's just like I know I'm gonna be sad cuz this dog is gonna die At some point like now I said Spoiler spoiler spoiler skip ahead if you don't want a spoiler for a random movie that you won't know Gibson where a dog does get shot. Yes, but you know, I was excited to see who I'm sorry It was it was not a what's the one with Mel Gibson where he's where it's the remake of a point Parker

Payback is hey, that's not yeah. Yeah. Yeah payback. That's one thing I was excited to see a hooch on that list hooch does get killed Saving Tom Hanks at the end of Turner and a hooch. I mean, if a dog's gonna save a human being, I feel like Tom Hanks is not the worst one. Well, it's like as a monster, he knows of rodogics, that a dog has to protect itself, but a dog has to, a dog cannot allow a human to come to harm.

A dog must obey all orders unless it conflicts with rule number one of rodogics, and a dog must protect himself unless it conflicts with the previous two rules. That's that's Isaac as a dog's rules of rodent But like I didn't walk into that movie thinking like oh this dog's gonna bite it at the end It just looked like a fun movie about a dog cop. You thought it was a fun movie about a dog that drinks beer. Yeah Tragic surfing accident really? Yeah. Yeah, was it tragic or kind of funny? No, you're right It was one of those surfing accidents where a dog dies, but it's funny. Yeah, you're right to funny. No, you're right. It was one of those surfing accidents where a dog dies, but it's funny. Stuart. Yeah, you're right.

OK, so these are some strong arguments. Anybody anybody have some final final statements here? I will say Stuart, if I was sticking to the menu you provided, Beethoven would have been my choice as well. Beethoven's pretty good. He slobbers like he slobbers like crazy. Is that big slobbery dog? If I'm watching a movie, I'd rather see a big slobbery dog than a little yappy dog Yeah, that's why I didn't put Beverly Hills Chihuahua on this list Yeah, because I felt like it was a real outlier and I'd be surprised if anyone made me know. I mean I

the thing about mushroom in gremlins, I can't remember the actual characters name, but Kate Kate's. Mr. Quartermann? Stripe? Dante always talks about how like...

Dante the poet? Yes, Dante the poet. Joe Dante always talks about how great that dog is because it reacted to the gremlins and to the mogli as if they were actual animals. You got some very natural reactions.

Now I actually didn't put any animated dogs in those lists. Are there any animated dogs that might have a chance at the crown? There's all the ones that go to heaven. That's true, yeah, yeah, Balto, yeah. Yeah, Balto certainly went to heaven, yeah, after what he did, yeah. That's a good dog.

Wow. There's Nanny from Peter Pan, right? Yep. Which heaven. Yeah, after what he did. Yeah. That's a good dog. Wow. There's a dog. There's Nanny from Peter Pan, right? Yep. Which, as a kid, I always was confused about whether that dog was actually their Nanny. Had a job, yeah. Yeah. There's the Tramp and also Lady. Mm-hmm.

And also that, you know, that- Oh, the star is that Scottish dog that dies in that one. The Satterbot Weiser dog in the prison who sings about fucking Tramp. Yeah. in the prison who sings about fucking tramp. Yeah. I feel like we've made a strong case for some of these dogs. Obviously listeners, if you take issue

with any of these rankings, feel free to, I don't know, comment on our social media posts. Yeah, write in, write in. Give us a nice review. Yeah, please give us a nice review. So we're on to our next category. This is the equine category, horsesorses, baby, movie horses. Here's some examples.

If there's any other animal that people feel a connection to besides dogs, it is horses. Horses, okay. So we have Artex from Neverending Story, Seabiscuit, I think I know somebody who's a fan, Secretariat, Spirit the Stallion of the Cimarron, Hidalgo, and Shadowfax.

Wait, wait, I recognize that name, but where's Shadowfax from? I don't remember. It's the steed of one Gandalf the White. Oh, OK. Oh, OK. But not a major character. That's the... Uh, what? Why does that horse get special pride of place?

Because it's dope as hell, dude. because the steward is the one running the mini That's what there's other horses though Like I why is that the only one that the great thing is that now is your turn to make a case for a different? horse Are you gonna say trigger? I? Don't mean like I don't do you have a personal favorite horse Yeah, what's your favorite horse Dan in those theabass Kid is the world's most popular horse. That's true.

I don't know. And what does he sound like, Dan, if he was here? Well hey, it's me, Seabass Kid. I just stopped by, people are talking my name, but I gotta go! See, that horse moves so fast, he never sticks around. He never sticks around, that's the thing, he's so fast. I was gonna say, Art-Tex Stewart, that was the thing.

Like, that horse is the soul of that movie until you know Sinks into the despair swamp or what spoilers. Yeah. Yeah spoiler. He just gives up, you know He just that's what's so sad about it because he's so full of spirit. He's the spirit of the Cimarron, you know Yeah, what a what a crusher of a moment movie, right? Yeah, there's that war horse people like that Yeah, you like war horse. I didn't see it now There's that war horse, people like that. Yeah, you like war horse? I didn't see it. Now, does the Strider that they ride

in the Dark Crystal count as a horse? It's not technically a horse, but they ride it like a horse. I mean, that's pretty cool. That's a cool argument. Do we want to, do you want to allow it, Dan? What? Sorry, I was just looking at horses. Are you trying to list the leads from the movie Thoroughbreds?

Is a... Is a Pegasus a horse? We'll call it a horse, yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Because I like that horse from, what do you call it, the... Percy Jackson? Oh, Clash of the Titans. Yeah.

From the TriStar logo? That one. I mean, that's a pretty popular horse. Any other... We got Artex, obviously, Shadow Facts. That's a pretty popular horse. Any other, we got Artex, obviously Shadow Facts. That's a powerful horse. If it wasn't for that, Gandalf couldn't be all over the place.

He'd have to ride an eagle or something stupid, riding Shadow Facts. Red style, these are riding style. It's way stupider to ride an eagle than to ride a horse, yeah, sure. Oh man, it's so cool. Is that a horse that gets whispered to have a name? No, that's why they have to whisper to it.

They don't embarrass it by not having a name. Any other final horse? It's funny, I've watched so many Westerns in my life, and yet it's usually the horses are not treated as full characters, they're just kind of like treated like vehicles that you can pick up or drop off. But you'd think there would be more Westerns where there's a much stronger relationship

with the horse specifically. Then there's- Yeah. I mean- I'm sure there are some, but there's not as many as you think. Radio and TV more than the movie that everyone did not care for, but like Silver obviously is the one that comes to mind in terms of like Western horses,

the lone ranger's horse, but- You were gonna say the horse from Hot to Trot with Bobcat Goldsley? I was gonna say the horse from hot to trot with Bobcat Goldsley was gonna say that horse That's my favorite Any horse that's hot to trot And I like a horse my favorite either that horse or when his dad who is a horse comes back reincarnated as a horse fly You know, that's also, you know, does that happen? Yeah In hot to trot. Yeah, do I to watch hot trot again?

Yeah, yes, yeah Yeah Dan in the end Robert's side of the conservatives that said you do have to watch hot to trot again. Yeah. Yeah, I Can't wait to read the dissent. They say they're for small government, but they're making me watch Hot Friday. Yeah, it feels like, I think you're right. Like when I was putting this category together, I was like, I feel like horses are such a natural, like horses are such a big part of movies

for such a long time that there would have been a ton of ones that's like jumped out to me, but there kind of aren't. No, they're treated as props more than as characters a lot of the time. And I wonder if that's because there's a feel, I think that by the time movies were being made, this is a theory I'm making up off the top of my head. Most moviegoers did not have close relationships with horses the way that they might to a pet, you know, a dog or a cat or something like that.

Whereas in earlier times, I think people would have had a much closer relationship to a horse. I mean, by the time movies are being shown in cities, there's fewer and fewer horses in cities, and stuff like that. So if you're making a lot of movies set on the mean streets in New York, there's not gonna be a lot of horses there. And if you're making a lot of movies set in,

what's a famously horseless city? Like a city that banned horses, are there any? Venice? Yeah, Venice. If you're making movies in Tokyo or Venice, you're not going to have a lot of horses there. Yeah, Curacao. Can't put a horse there. No horses. Okay, so we're going to move on to the next category. This is the rodent category. Mice, rats, etc.

Cappy Baras, sure. Yeah, you got things like Stuart Little things. Characters like Stuart Little. Okay. Fievel Mauskowitz. Mm-hmm. Remy from Ratatouille. Yep. Socrates from Willard.

Uh-huh. Ben from Ben. And a personal favorite, Mrs. Brisby from Secret of Nim. Mrs. Brisby. Well, Frisbee in the book. Frisbee in the book. Oh, it's Frisbee in the movie. I didn't even remember that.

Yeah, because of Frisbee the Flying Disc. Yeah. Oh, I didn't notice that. I know the book so much better than the movie. Okay. Yeah, I was gonna be mad if Brisby wasn't on there because I had kind of a crush on Mrs. Brisby as a kid. I watched Secret of Nim. Did you have more of a crush on Mrs. Brisby as a kid I watched did you have more of a crush on Mrs. Brisby or on Gadget from Rescue Rangers?

good call I mean I think ultimately Gadget but it's a milf a mouse I like that yeah it was a formative confusing cartoon crush and I have to go with Mrs. Brisby because but you know she shows so much heart through that movie and it's ultimately the power of her heart that saves her family. Yeah, yeah, it's a dope movie. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful film. Yeah, I was glad you put Fievel on there. Again, that's my family's story. That's my ancestor's story. So, I've got to stand up for Fievel. That we came to this country from another country,

seeking safety, and then we went out west. Yeah, eventually we went west. I don't think I ever saw- Yeah, eventually my family went as west as northern New Jersey. I never saw Fievel Goes West. Is this a- Fievel Goes West is a pretty bonkers movie in some ways.

It is much less of a tightly told story than an American tale. Okay. So what, it's just like an anthology story of western stories? Yeah, exactly. It's like Buster Scruggs. Yeah, but they're all mice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I feel like Miss Brisby is an obvious one. I think all those characters are great. Remy's great, yeah. Remy's great. I mean, who like, I feel like that-

Stuart Little's a sweet little guy, you know? Remy is like, I feel like Ratatouille is such a, was such a high point for Pixar, I don't know. I mean, they've had a lot of high points, but that's a, that's a pretty- They've had an enormous number of high points, but that one, that one is, yeah. I mean, I think it's weird that that's one of the few,

I mean, they, I guess there's a few that they haven't done sequels of, but I don't think they've ever even talked about doing like a rata to eat or something like that And that's like it's right there right right leaving money on the table. Yeah, but the title the title allows Obviously the plot can follow They haven't taken a meeting with Jim Cameron yet To They haven't taken a meeting with Jim Cameron yet. Yeah. It should be Stuart Little also. Now Stuart Little, he has a human mom though, right? Yeah.

Yeah, he's not necessarily a mouse so much as a boy that has mouse qualities. So do you think when he was born, he was born like a real pinky, like a real mouse, all like kind of mushy and hairless and kind of like blind? Or do you think he came out looking like Stuart Little? Well, I mean... Like furry it came out looking like Stuart Little? Well, like furry, like a mouse or like a pink? I mean, most human babies also come out kind of mushy and pinky and squishy. That's true.

Very few of them come out fully grown. You're Benjamin Button. Now, when Elliot, of the three of us, Elliot, you have children. Were you ever nervous that your child is going to come out like a like a little Stuart little yeah I did I I did once have a nightmare before my first son was born and my wife gave birth to like

Something that looks like like a when a when a kangaroo or koala gives birth and it's like not fully formed yet And it's kind of like all weird and mushy and banyan very tiny and in the dream I had to carry it around in a styrofoam coffee cup because it was so Frail and its skin was so sensitive that like I couldn't even hold it in my hand Watching a racer head the night before I mean not the night before but certainly This feels like a very good short Charles Burns comic. Yeah. Yeah, you're right He would so if Chuck Burns is listening, you know, feel free to use it, you know. Okay, so I think we've got some good stuff here.

Obviously, write in if you have critiques. We're at the halfway point. Before we cut to a brief message, we have one more. This is a unrelated question, but what is, you got to make a case for, what is the cutest baby animal? Cutest baby animal. I'm going to go first. I think it is, without a doubt, baby animal. Cutest baby animal. I'm gonna go first. I think it is, without a doubt, baby elephants. Baby elephants are the cutest.

Oh, those are pretty good. They're very cute. Cutest little old men with their sad eyes and they're a little bit fuzzy. I will say, in my house, I wouldn't necessarily have thought this earlier, but my younger son is obsessed with tape ears. So in my house, we watch a lot of footage of baby tape ears and they have a different coat pattern

I'm assuming I'm like YouTube or something not like is there like a channel that shows baby taper content There are there a number of zoos that have baby tape ears that like on their Instagram feed they'll put out cool tapir footage You know, but and baby tapirs are very cute. They got that little nose, you know, they have to learn how to swim at one point They got spots and stripes on their coats. They're very cute. But also but also baby turtles Super cute when they hatch and they're walking down the beach and you just you're like, oh, it's too bad that half of them Are gonna get eaten by seagulls. They're so cute. Yeah, or when like a turtle gets a hold of a strawberry Jesus Christ They go ape shit. I don't like anything as much as a turtle likes a strawberry. Yeah. Yeah, Dan. What about you? It's hard to say.

You know, it's probably just because they look so much like humans, but baby apes are pretty cute. Yeah, baby chimps are very cute, yeah. I also am very fond of them. And they can use weapons. Yeah, yeah, I saw a movie about it, yeah. I just like mammals of this kind of like general size and type. Like baby foxes are a fave of mine.

I could see that. I love it. Okay. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true.

However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current, not so legit healthcare fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure. And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor?

Well, you could say that. And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first folks, Sawbones, Merrell-Ture, misguided medicine right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no. Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there.

My name is Jordan Crushi, and I love movies. But you know what I might love even more? Talking about movies. As a director, as actors, and writers that join me every week on Feeling Scene, love to talk about movies too. Like our recent co-host, the writer and director, Justin Simien.

And I love the premise of your show, feeling seen. I think that's kind of always my goal when I'm making something. Nothing touches my heart more than when someone comes out of my movie and says, oh my god, I never thought I would see myself. So hang out with us and geek out about watching movies, making movies, and the ways the movies we love speak to us directly.

You might just start asking folks around you, hey, what movie character made you feel seen? We're doing it every week at MaximumFun.org. So we got a little message. This is a j-j-j-jumbotron! The long-running horror film podcast, Horror Show Hot Dog, is launching the Minnesota Genre Film Exposition and is now accepting short and feature-length film submissions. The MNGFE will take place October 3-5, 2025, in Roseville, Minnesota, with a submission deadline of July 31. So filmmakers, visit filmfreeway.com slash the Minnesota genre film exposition

to submit your film by July 31st. I could go for a horror show hot dog right about now. Oh, okay, well after the show, speaking of hot dogs, let's get to talk more about these cool animals. Yeah, sure. Of the movies. I feel like a hot dog is the opposite of a cool animal. Oh, good point. The hot one in the name, yeah. Good point. It depends, sometimes the name, yeah. Good point.

It depends. Sometimes you just eat them right out of the fridge, right? You do indeed. You're snacking dogs? You guys don't have snacking dogs? No. Okay, well, that's fine. Okay, so the next category is the primate category.

Maybe this is directly inspired by Better Man. That would cover monkeys and apes, things like Amy from Congo. Bonzo from Bedtime for Bonzo. Caesar from Planet of the Apes. Clyde from Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can. Gordy from Nope. King Kong. King Louie.

Or Mighty Joe Young. Favorite primates, guys? You got my two favorites right there on there, King Kong and Caesar. Caesar's on my mind a lot because we just started watching the original Planet of the Apes movies, me and my younger son. I said enough about tape ears, let's watch some ape ears.

And they were, I'm sure, impressed by that. Yeah, yeah, he applauded for 14 straight minutes. The thing is, your kids, they idolize you, they think you're the funniest guy in the universe. Yeah, they're both at the age now where they clearly still love me, but they like to be very derisive about me, which I don't love. But the original Planet of the Apes still holds up, the new Plan of the Apes really great. But King Kong has- I remember when the new, you know, those new Plan of the Apes movies, the first one came,

I think it was when the second one had come out, I had missed the first one, but I like, you know, rented it or something. And I remember right away, I'm like, oh man, I don't wanna see a movie of the stupid like CGI baby monkey. And then like 10 minutes later, I'm like, oh man, I don't want to see a movie with a stupid CGI baby monkey. And then like 10 minutes later, I'm like crying. I'm like, stupid CGI monkey made me cry. And the one, the original King Kong

has such a special place in my heart. I think because it's the first special effect I saw as a kid where I was like, this doesn't look real, but it looks alive. Like I do not think this is a real ape. I know this is a puppet, but he looks like he's alive. He has so much personality and there's so much vim to him, except in those closeups of the giant King Kong face,

which always is ridiculous to me. That original stop motion King Kong is just like, that's my favorite, gotta be my favorite ape of all movies. There's something so magical about that style of special effect because it just like, that's my favorite, gotta be my favorite ape of all movies. There's something so magical about that style of special effect because it is like, I mean, there's such an attempt with movies to try to make things look as real as possible

that when you have something that doesn't quite look real real, but it still is like, there's still something there. Like it still feels magical, you know what I mean? Well, I guess the secret of it is the acting of it. That the person doing the effect has to be acting. And that's why Andy Serkis, I think was such a breakthrough performer,

was it was like, even though these characters are not real in front of you, the acting matters just as much as it does. It's the kind of thing animators have known for forever, but you know, like that there's still a performance acting level you still have to get the emotion across, even if it is a monster character or a CGI, whatever, and King Kong has that, you know.

I feel like almost more when it's a monster character, because you need to have, like you have to emote more. You have to... Sorry, I was silent for a long time, but as I was thinking about it, you know, I was like, you know, I have a certain, like I can respect the fact that Link is horny for Elizabeth Shue, but Link ends up being murderous

and evil, so I wouldn't go with that. Okay. I would, yeah, my loyalties are split between the two kings, Kong and Louis. Kong is one of the most soulful of the great apes in film, and King Louis has one of the best songs Yeah, no. Yeah, I think I feel I feel like we're proud. I'm sure we're missing some yeah, but uh, yeah There's a lot of so we haven't mentioned Ed. We haven't mentioned Dunstan. We haven't mentioned the MVP most valuable primate

We haven't mentioned Whatever the monkey from monkey troubles name is mm-hmm the monkey from the monkey monkey shines yeah there's a lot of monkeys we have mentioned yeah yeah but shiny there's that Nazi monkey from Raiders you know sure yeah he's the monkey you love to hate there's the one from the Pirates movies yep oh yeah listen yeah wasn't wasn't the killer in Murders in the Room org monkey? Yep, was a gorilla. Or an orangutan. Was an escaped orangutan. A sailor's pet that had gotten loose.

Sailors are always fucking things up, guys. Okay, the next category. This is another big one. This is close to me and Dan's heart, maybe less so for Elliot. We are in the feline category Down cats. Oh cats in the movies So we got

Yeah, we got some famous cats like the cat from Tales from the Dark Side the movie that kills Buster Poindexter That's the first cat you mentioned in the list of movie cats. Interesting. Oh, yeah. We got Keanu from Keanu. We got That Darn Cat. We got Sassy from Homeward Bound. The cat from Inside Lewin Davis. We got Jonesy from Alien and Aliens.

Morris the cat from The Long Goodbye. Church from Pet Sematary. And of course, a Flophouse list of cats wouldn't matter if I didn't say Duffy from A Talking Cat. Oh, I thought you were going to say all of the cats from the movie Cats. Hmm. Those aren't real cats. Like King Kong is a real gorilla. OK, so are you going to make a case for one of the cats from cats the movie?

No, I'm gonna make a case from the cat from the cat from outer space a Disney film that I saw over and over again as a kid for some reason and the reason is it was on television But it's a real cat it had some sort sort of, I don't know, space powers, if I recall. Yeah, so this is a movie you saw over and over again, but you don't remember anything about it. No, I'm looking it up. Oh, Roddy McDowell was in it.

Oh, wow. Did you see this movie, Dan? It was a cute cat. I just remember that. Oh, it has special color that amplified telekinetic and telepathic abilities. That makes sense. That's how you know it's from outer space. That's how you know it's from outer space.

That's how you know it's from outer space. My color. Ellie, do you have favorite cats? I think I'm gonna mention, because I have the opportunity to, a cat that was not on your list. There's a check new wave movie called, has a couple different titles,

The Cassandra Cat, The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses, another one. Great names. One of the titles is When the Cat Comes, One Day a Cat, et cetera. It's this cat that has the ability to, if it looks at you, then your color changes to a color that represents kind of a big flaw in you or your emotions.

So like if you're greedy or if you're in love or if you're depressed or something like that, suddenly your body all turns that color when the cat looks at you. And it's a pretty silly movie for the most part. But I love the idea, but there's some fun touches in it. And it's just, it's one of these cats that you don't hear so much about in movies,

but he's integral to the plot. This cat is very important to the plot. So that's the Cassandra cat. Yeah, I mean, I really love Morris the cat in the long goodbye. Like it's such a moment,, just right off the bat, it humanizes Elliot Gould and it's such a key, I don't know, it was the moment where I'm like,

okay, I love this movie, I'm in, I'm in for this. There's the cat in Can You Ever Forgive Me? Also, you don't see a lot of that cat, but the cat's so important to it. Sorry, I'm thinking about my own choices while you're reading things sometimes Did you met you did you mention the one from the cat the story of Ricky? Director I've never seen it. Oh, that's a that's another cat from outer space and

Also, Dan loves these alien cats. Things fly around the screen a lot in that movie. Sounds great. If you're a fan of the story of Ricky, you'll like the cat. Which as a cineast, I am. Yeah. Oh, you know what? I'm also going to mention the movie Kodoneko, the black cat, a Japanese movie from the 60s. The same director who made Onibaba.

And it's a... That's one... It's really more about two ghosts that kind of take the form of cats and kill samurais, but there's a cat in there, and it's a good spooky movie. Is there a cat in Haosu? I don't remember, guys. Yes, there is. Its eyes would sparkle sometimes.

That's right. Oh, cool, cool. What a cat. Actually, maybe I'll switch to that cat. I like cats that have power eyes, you know. I feel like that's kind of the funny thing about cats is they're like, they're so like, cats as pets are kind of weird assholes, right?

And that's, and like, so giving them like a few magical powers, you're like, that makes sense. They're kind of magical weird assholes. They've been able to trick humanity into taking care of them by, well, providing very little. Almost nothing. Dogs are working hard every day and cats are like, you work for me. This is a tale that is told by our culture, but I have two very affectionate cats who want to spend time with me and with my wife.

And me. Yes. So it's not necessarily the case. Dan, but Dan that cat knows that it is affection in exchange for food and lodgings. It is very much. That's the way of all pets. This explains a lot of our relationships. Okay.

I think it's very transactional with cats basically is what I'm saying. So we are into our final category. Cat-agory? Obviously, I'm leaving, oh shit, I can't believe I set myself up. Yeah, you really got you. You walked into that one. Now this is a category that has a lot of animated characters,

and that is the avian category. We're in the birds. Okay. So those are characters like Iago from Aladdin, Zazu from The Lion King, the Road Runner, the birds from The Birds, Donald Scrooge, Daffy, Howard, all ducks, Happy Feet. And this one might be an outlier, the crow. Yeah, not technically a bird, but a person, yeah.

In a movie. He is a, you're right. Well, I mean, obviously my top bird is Uncle Scrooge McDuck, but he's only appeared in one movie, well, two, I guess. in a movie, well, two, I guess. One as himself, DuckTales, Treasure of the Lost Lamp, and one as Ebenezer Scrooge. He takes care of the Elephant Man, right? The Elephant Man?

Uh-huh, yep. In Mickey's Christmas Carol. Is he not in, he's not in Donald Duck in Math Magic Land, right? No, and that's also a short. But he is in one where he explains how the workings of the economy and how money has to circulate, et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking of, yeah, yeah. But- That was it, yeah, that was in the big short. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think he's given his due in film. So I'm gonna go, I love Iago. I think that for me, you know, like, you know, Robin Williams obviously makes me laugh in Latin,

but the thing that makes me laugh the most in Latin is Iago and the Gilbert Gottfried line deliveries, particularly I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprised, which is one of my favorite lines. Yeah. Now, I got a question for you guys. Obviously Scrooge McDuck is great.

But if you were gonna compare Donald Duck to Daffy Duck, where do you land on that one? Oh, Daffy 100% for me. I love Daffy Duck so much. I love Daffy Duck. Daffy Duck has such a fucking awesome loser. He has two modes, wacky silly, Yeah, I love Daffy Duck so much. I love Daffy Duck. He's such a fucking awesome loser. He has two modes.

Wacky silly and also resentful jerk. And I like both of them. They're both really funny. Whereas Donald just gets mad at stuff, basically. Yeah, in film definitely Daffy. Like, I like Donald of the comics where he's kind of a weird... As opposed to what, in the novels? Oh, I see the comics, yeah.

Of the comics, he's like a weird adventurer, like suburban adventurer guy. But yeah, no, Daffy's got a better shtick. Yeah, man, I love Daffy Duck. Yeah, I'm gonna say, I feel like there's just something so special and pure about the Road Runner. Like, it's such an asshole, like such an asshole, but at the same time, it's such an asshole, like such an asshole. But at the same time, like it's this like eternal thing. I don't know, like constantly screwing over the coyote

and like rubbing it in his face. But at the same time, he like, he's trying to kill him. I don't know, it's crazy. I don't know, like if I would characterize him as an asshole, like he is. Boy like rubs it in. Like he rubs it in. Just by saying meep meep?

Like what? Oh, there are times he sets it up on purpose He's the he's he's teasing him into that He knows we zoom on the other hand. He's the Wiley Cody is trying to kill him So yes, so he's justified and actually I don't know am I misgendering I can't tell if the I don't remember if the Roadrunner. I don't think no for sure. I think it's not it's not canonically. Okay I'm gonna mention two birds that are not on your list. One is Kevin, the giant bird from Up. I'm a big fan of that bird.

I think she's really funny and has a lot of personality. But also the man turning into a bird over the length of Brewster Macleod, a movie that mostly doesn't work for me, but I love this conceit of this guy is giving a lecture to the audience about birds and over the course of the film, he's just becoming a bird for no reason. There's no explanation for it. So I'm going to go with that. And before I know the listeners are going to want to write in and complain that I'm not, I'm not repping Gwaii here, the eagle from Lord of the Rings, but you know, I feel

like the Eagles get so much attention and like not the band. I don't like the band, the Eagles, but the Eagles and Lord of the Rings get so much attention and like there's so much flack about them not carrying, not carrying the ring to Mount Doom and just chucking them in there. So, but you know, whatever, like why he rules, I get it. But I want to share the spotlight on the road. Yeah. You also, and I know you're a big fan of rockadoodle too, right?

I'm, Hey, you know, that, that rooster can get it, you know, yeah, I want to shout out big bird, of course Jesus Christ big bird like the sweetest bird. I was watching the end of Muppet movies got that cameo appearance in the Muppet movie Brett Goldstein in his stand-up special is talking about how he did He was a guest on Sesame Street and it was the best day of his life. And I'm like, in my head, I'm thinking, if I was on set and Big Bird walked up to me, that would like crush me. Like I would lose my shit. Burst into tears.

Like I couldn't help it. Like, I don't know, man. There's just something so magical about that character. Oh man. Yeah, Dan, that's a good call. And I told that story on here before about the time my mom took me to a performance of the Muppets or of like a Sesame Street Live thing.

And the theme was that like Big Bird was missing. And the performers on stage were like, Big Bird's missing, we need to go find him. And after this scene, my mom looks over and I'm not in my seat, I'm gone. So she goes into the lobby and I'm trying to leave, I'm trying to push through the front door and my mom's like, what are you doing?

And I'm like, we have to find Big Bird. Like I took it as my responsibility that I need to find Big Bird. That's too much responsibility for a child. That explains a lot about my personality. Okay, so we've covered all the bases, we just have one final question. This is a hard one guys, before we wrap up. So we've covered all the bases. We just have one final question. This is a hard one guys before we wrap up.

So we've covered all the bases but there's one more question. You're right. His story doesn't add up. You got him. One more thing. That makes sense. One more thing. We've covered all the bases. Would there be no questions left? I'm in an episode of Pokerface over here. Okay, so guys. Gun to your head. I don't like that. I'm already not a fan of this scenario.

Gun to your head. Ignoring the bird category, the avian category. Of the animals we've talked about today, which animal would you eat? Oh. Ignoring the bird category? Yes. To remind us of the categories, there's what? Dog, horse? Ignoring the bird category? Yes. Wow. Man. To remind us the categories, there was what?

Dog, horse? Dogs, horses. Primates. Rodents. Rodents. Ellie goes right to primates. What's wrong with them? And felines, cats.

Which of those animals, and not like the broad category, which of those characters would you eat? Oh, so it has to be the character? It has to be the character. You're eating the character. I picked her. It doesn't have to be one you picked. And you listed. You could say Mighty Joe Young if you want. Yeah.

Who wouldn't want to eat Mighty Joe Young? For me, I think it's got to be Seabiscuit. The chance to eat one of America's favorite horses, you know, to be known as the guy who ate Seabiscuit. Like I can't, and his name has biscuit in it. You know he's gonna be delicious, and also you're gonna be famous. I think, yeah.

You got it. I don't wanna. That meat's gonna be so tender from all the running. Yeah. I don't, that's how it works. I don't wanna double up, but I feel like it's gotta be one of the horses. Dan, you can't say Mrs. Brisby and say it's a sexual thing.

You can't. No, no, I don't. But like, we wouldn't blame. I feel the least personal attachment to horses. So like, I... Dan, if you want to take horses then, then I'll say Remy the Rat, Ratatouille. You know he tastes good. He tastes good.

He'll cook himself. He'll season himself ahead of time, yeah. He's only eating the best food that, you know. Exactly, yeah. I don't want to shock you guys, but I just get shot I wouldn't eat any of these treasured characters So everybody this has been a mini episode of the Flophouse podcast send all your hate mail to the flophouse at gmail.com I think you know what I welcomed your hate

And I'll eat sea biscuit deal with it Oh double up. He'll turn he'll turn so this has been a mini episode of the flop ass podcast This has been produced by how old Doughty Alexander Smith. He goes as how old Doughty on various socials and on twitch, etc Etc making music. He's great. He's the best. We're part of the max fun network So there's other shows probably a lot like this over there, so check them out. You know all about eating beloved characters. I've been, for this episode, I've been Stuart Wellington. For this and other episodes, I've been Dan McCoy.

For this and all the other episodes, I think, I'm Elliot Kalin, and I can't wait till the mini-win, Stuart asks us about our favorite movie, Children, and gives us the same question at the very end, and we don't see it coming. Okay, see it coming. Okay, see you later. Bye, Seabiscuit.