The Flop House - FH Mini 145 - Flop to the Future

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

Stuart combed cinematic history for visions of the future, then, like Ebeneezer Scrooge, demanded of his his co-hosts,""Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things ...that May be, only?" (Or, more Stu: "How likely are these predictions, dudes?")Tonight is the SEASON FINALE of Flop TV Season 3! Tune in as we take on the granddaddy of "so bad it's good" cinema, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE! And if you miss it, your ticket lets you watch VOD thru the end of the month!Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! It’s the best way to keep up on all things Flop House!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey there, folks. I'm Stuart Wellington, and welcome to another Flop House mini, a mini episode of the Flop House podcast. And I am joined by my two co-hosts. Dan McCoy. Elliot Kalin. Hey, how are you guys doing? Good. Well, I'm not doing good.
Starting point is 00:00:19 I don't know if you guys have checked the news, but it is 2026. Is that what the headline of the news was? Every day. It is 2026. I mean, the date is the first. thing on the newspaper, so you could think that was the headline. Uh-huh, that is the headline. So we are now living in the future.
Starting point is 00:00:37 2025 is in our rear view, and I thought this would be a good time for us. My butt is looking at 2025 right now. Uh-huh. It is. You can get those eyes removed. Yeah, he should. But you know what? The thing is, Elliot was a big fan of the movie Society, and he is...
Starting point is 00:00:53 Yeah, I saw that and I said, why don't I have a face on my butt? I've got to get that. So I'm slowly getting there. Yeah. So here at the flop-house minis, instead of talking about watching a bad movie and talking about it, we do something else. And in this case, we're going to be talking about, that's right, movies. Because while we look to the future, we are going to be using movies as our model for what the future may look like. Is it hopeful? Is it terrifying?
Starting point is 00:01:18 We are going to be the judge. So I'm going to go down a series of movies and list the rough year that they're supposed to take place in. Sure. And I want you guys to join with me and rate these movies in two categories on a scale of 1 to 10. The first category is, how likely this future is to occur?
Starting point is 00:01:39 A 1 would be very unlikely. A 10 would be very likely. Okay. And then the other category is, how much would you like to live in this future? Once again, one is very unlikely, 10 is very likely. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Any questions on the rating system? What's 10 again? Very likely. Okay. And one? Very unlikely. Okay, cool. And 10?
Starting point is 00:02:05 Extremely likely. Okay, cool. Okay, so the first one, now this movie... Wait, Dan, which is one? One is the low end of the scale? The longer we fart around, the fewer movies we're talking about. Sorry, sorry. Okay, never mind, never mind.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Okay, so the first one is the Mad Max universe, which technically began in 1980. the far future year of 1980, and then has stretched to year, question mark, we don't quite know. So the Mad Max future, do I need to paint a word picture as to what the future of Mad Max is like?
Starting point is 00:02:39 Now, I'm going to be a pedant. Do you mean the future of Mad Max or the future of Mad Max 2, aka the Road Warrior, which are two very different worlds? Or, I mean, we're going to talk, we're talking about the, I feel like the Road Warrior has kind of spun into these later movies. So not the first Mad Max where,
Starting point is 00:02:57 the nuclear war hasn't happened yet, and it's just that there's more crime. Society is getting rougher. It's breaking down, you know. Yeah, so that would be, yeah, let's start with just Mad Max. Let's, that one be our gauge, okay? So how likely is the world of Mad Max,
Starting point is 00:03:13 the original film? How likely is that one to occur? 10. Yeah, that's a... I think we're there now. Put that up there. 10. Except instead of roving bands of like evil bikers,
Starting point is 00:03:25 it is roving bands of masked Gestapo agents, you know. Yeah. Okay, so that's very likely. Now, how excited are you to live in this future? How excited? Well, I'm going to grade on the curve of like most of these are going to be, I think, dystopias.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Pretty low, yeah. Maybe. And so this is kind of like, this feels like a world that is cruel but still livable. So maybe I'll put it in the three or four zone. I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to put it like a three or four. I feel like, yeah, it's cruel. but there's still television.
Starting point is 00:03:58 People still have jobs. You know, they still have families. It's that you live in a house. That's all good stuff. That's all good stuff I would like to hold on to. Sort of classic stuff. What role do you think you would play? How would you make your living in this kind of future?
Starting point is 00:04:15 Probably outlaw barbarian biker for me. Does scared hermit pay? I feel like Dan could be a scared hermit. Elliot would be like, no offense. I feel like you would be like the right-hand. man of the gang leader. Potentially, I mean, the salacious crumb. I don't think I'd be the right-hand man, but I would definitely be the, I've already assumed
Starting point is 00:04:36 that if the apocalypse happen, or like the civilization collapses, I am a jester. Like, that's what I am. Like, I probably have a chain attached between my neck and the throne of the, of whoever is the lord of this colony or whatever. The nuclear throne, yeah. The nuclear throne. And I am there to, like, entertain him and he's going to throw shit at me every now and then, you know, and I jibber and caper.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Well, that's the thing. I was going to say you're like, you could be the one guy who's like always cackling. Like, just like mostly just like has a psychotic laugh. Yes, exactly. Okay, guys, let's jump to another future. This is also currently in the past, and that is the future of Back to the Future 2, the Biffverse. Again, I feel like 10. I feel like we are living in that right now.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Literally. I think we're living in that one, yeah, 10. A character that was partly, I think, inspired by. the current awful person in charge. The Biff first is a different world than the hoverboard. No, yeah, we're not talking about the Biff first. Let's talk about the hoverboard. So the 2015 hoverboard future.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Oh, I mean, 3D has made a big comeback. That's the thing that gets mentioned there. They haven't made as many jaws as that would postulate. Yeah. According to a kid that I went to elementary school with, they made hoverboards, but parents made them take them off the market. Yeah. So, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I think it's what's funny about that future and I think it is it is possible but not likely is I think that that future is an analog future in a way it's a pre-internet future
Starting point is 00:06:07 and so it's like it's very much the future of right before the internet and computers become a part of people's lives as seen by how they have all those fax machines in their house
Starting point is 00:06:16 and things like that you know but it's if we hadn't had microwave pizza what pizza happened I mean it happened at the time it existed too.
Starting point is 00:06:24 I mean, it's not like a dehydrated like it's a small one that gets to a big one. Like a dehydrated pizza that gets bigger. We don't necessarily have. Yeah. But I think, what do you think, Dan? Is it likely? Well, it's a little...
Starting point is 00:06:35 It seems kind of utopian. I will say it's a universe that implies that that Max Hedgeron was a much bigger hit than it was. Well, I mean, the idea is that they don't quite understand what the 80s were like. So I think that that's all in line. as far as I was concerned.
Starting point is 00:06:55 I'm concerned. I don't know. Like, I mean, there are plausible inventions in there. It's not like things have gone nutty, but I don't think that our future looks as bright as that. I'll put it at a five,
Starting point is 00:07:08 I guess. Okay. I'm going to put it at a six. There's a innocence to this future, I think. But that's the, in terms of what I want to live there, sure, give me a nine.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Why not? Yeah, I would go with a nine, too, for the second category of, yeah, give me that. Give me that world of hologram, Jawses, please.
Starting point is 00:07:25 If the worst problem the society has is that hoverboards don't work on water then unless you have power, I can live in a world like that, you know? And clothes dry themselves? They clothes dry themselves and they talk to... I mean, that's a... Talking clothes is something we're going to have. Except the clothes are going to be like,
Starting point is 00:07:39 hey, buddy, what are we doing today? Why don't you drink some battery acid? I'll be like, AI clothes. I don't want to do that. No, no, it'll be cool. Guys, we're going to go to the next movie. And this one is set in the far-off future of 2027, children of men.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Okay. It is a semi-dispopian future where humanity ceases to have children. Well, there's some good things and bad things about that. I mean, according to the, according to the manosphere, we're heading for it right now. Birth rates are falling because men are not shooting enough radiation at their junk. Yeah. I think, you know what? I think that some of those things are very likely and are, again, happening now.
Starting point is 00:08:23 But I think the birthright thing is not necessarily so likely because it was like the movie kind of postulates that it's the product of a global malaise almost. There's just kind of a global lack of interest in living, lack of satisfaction in life. And I don't know that that's going to happen. There's still things that are enjoyable about life, you know? But I don't think it's like,
Starting point is 00:08:42 it's not like they're not having children because they're not having sex, right? No, they are having, but there's a, so I think that, like, the sperms are like, no, I'm too bored. And I think it's more that like the, there's a, the same way that that Queen Amadala dies because her spirit is broken or whatever. She lost the will to live.
Starting point is 00:09:01 It's kind of like that, that humanity has lost the will to continue because life has become so depressing and grim. So maybe it is pretty realistic, actually. Elliot, I mean, it's been a while since I've watched this movie. I think since it came out in theaters, honestly. So perhaps I'm forgetting something. But I think you're reading a lot into it. I just felt like it was just an unexplained global catastrophe.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I mean, they don't explain it in the movie, but that was my read on it was that it was like, there's something that has killed the soul of humanity. Well, I feel like the soul of humanity being killed is the fact that they can't have children. Well, now it's a real chicken or no egg situation. We joined the story once we know that humankind is probably not going to continue
Starting point is 00:09:47 unless something changes. And I think that that's what has caused the malaise. So how likely, one to ten. I don't think that we're going to suddenly stop having kids. I mean, I will.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Two is enough. I don't do it anymore. Fertility may drop, but it won't happen in this way. But the way that the world responds to crisis seems pretty realistic. That seems pretty accurate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:15 I'd give it maybe a six. I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to give it a six. No, I'll give it a seven. I'll give it a seven. Okay. How like that?
Starting point is 00:10:22 Do you want to live in this universe? Again, I feel like we kind of do to a certain extent in that it does feel like we live in a world without... Except we do have children. That's true. So I think I don't want to... You know what? I do not want to live
Starting point is 00:10:38 in that world. I think I'm going to give it a two. Again, they have houses and electricity and things like that, but I don't want to live in a world without children. Children are great. Kind of the argument of the movie makes. Yeah. The argument is that humanity should have children and survive. It's also one of things where it's like, there was one baby,
Starting point is 00:10:54 so things are going to be fine, right? It's going to take a lot more babies. What if the kids are real drip? What if this kid sucks? That would be a really funny comedy movie to do now. It's the Children of Men universe, and this is the last child to be born, and all of the world's hopes are resting on this child,
Starting point is 00:11:14 and this child just sucks. And it's just like, they've grown up to be a total asshole, and it's like, oh, man, we had so much invested in you, you know? Leaving the kid thing aside, like this seems like a widely war-torn world. So, I don't know. Again, like still kind of livable, but I'm going to give it a four. Okay. It seems like the kind of world that many people have lived in or are living through a world of
Starting point is 00:11:39 whether there's the threat of sudden violence, but you have to get through the day. And resources still exist, but there's not a, it's not, you know, we kind of mixed up our Mad Maxes a little bit when we were talking about Mad Max. but it is, it is again closer to the first movie where it's like, things are not great, but it's a noticeably contemporary world as opposed to the second movie where it's like, well, you know, oil is blood now. You have a precious juice.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Drop some leather and spikes to your body. Go to a sporting goods store. Get some shoulder pads. It's just, more people are likely to have flame throwers than books, you know. Okay. Let's jump forward to the year 2032. Demolition man. Demolition man. I'm going to give this a two because unlike in the 90s where it's like everyone thought that the greatest concern was too much correctness.
Starting point is 00:12:36 I don't think we're going in that direction. I don't think we're headed there. Yeah, I also don't think it's likely that Taco Bell will take over all restaurants. Wow. Despite their constant food innovations, Elliot. They serve chicken nuggets now because who says they can't, you know? I would call, I would say, yeah, I think likelihood I'm going to give it like a three or something like that. Okay. But would I want to live in the demolition man? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:00 100%. Yeah. It seems aside from the lack of, I guess the lack of physical sex, it's just a thing that they don't do anymore. They put on a little homeless. Yeah, I'm going to give it an eight just because I also don't think, I mean, like. But you know you get it. But then they do it anyway. You can get it.
Starting point is 00:13:17 But then he still gets a surprise video call from a naked woman at one point. Sure. I mean, which is what we all imagine video calls we're going to be like. That's a plus. And to be honest, the challenge of figuring out how to use the three shells, I'm up for it. Well, that's what I was going to say. The three shells, like if they tell me how to use the three shells, sure. I'll give it a nine or ten.
Starting point is 00:13:35 If you don't. You mean, I don't have to. It's a six. You mean, I don't have to clean myself with paper like an ape. I can do it with these magical shells. Ape's famously made paper. Oh, my. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Now this one is contentious about the year. We're talking about Westworld, whether or not we're talking. I'm going to use... The movie or the show? That's the question. How we can vote on both of them, I suppose. Okay. Westworld, the movie, and or show.
Starting point is 00:14:09 How likely is this to happen? I'm going to give it like an eight. I feel like we're already moving towards, like, obviously AI, obviously sex robots are thing. They're just around the corner. I mean, they've been just around the corner for a while.
Starting point is 00:14:25 I think we're a little bit farther away from getting sex robots that the general populace will be interested in purchasing. But, you know, if you're going to sort of a theme park. No, no, I'm saying that the technology to make believably... No, I know. But the likelihood that this eventually might happen, that's what I'm saying. I think that could happen.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yeah, yeah, I think the likelihood could eventually happen is pretty high. Uh-huh. I don't, I feel like I don't know too much about the world outside of the park. Yeah, yeah. If you ask if I want to live in a theme park, I don't want to live in a theme park nowadays, you know. But would you, rather than live there, would you like to live in a world where you can go and visit that Westworld? Well, how likely is it that Yule Brenner's going to try and shoot me? Like, is this a functional Westworld or is pretty high?
Starting point is 00:15:15 It's functional. Yeah, the movie gives it. 100% chance of happening. Yeah, I'll give it a two in that case. You know what? I don't know, he's a big star. I think they were like that's true. Yeah, this is the king from the king and I, Dan.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I think that... He's very handsome. Sure, yeah. Looks great in that cowboy outfit. Noted anti-smoking advocate after his death, you know? So the, uh, I, it's, I don't know. It's one of those things where like, do I know as an, as an attendee that the robots are kind of alive and hate being there
Starting point is 00:15:46 and don't like what people ask them to do? No, you don't know that. Okay, then yeah, sure, I'll go to that theme park. Get to be a cowboy? Sounds wonderful. My soul is clean. Tens? I guess 10s, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:59 I'll go there. Not for the sex aspect of it, just to be like a gun center. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you what to do. That's part of the whole thing about Wist's World. You can do whatever you want. You can do what you want. You can be a white hat or a black hat.
Starting point is 00:16:09 You could just be the guy like me who would go to the bathroom, go to the outhouse and get blasted and get shot by some outlaw go to the bathroom. I got to go shit in an outhouse? Just to go to the bathroom. Look, there's something about
Starting point is 00:16:22 until you've done it. In the movie Westworld, there's a part where you see that he has, he gets like water to wash with in a little basin in his room with like a little pitcher. And there is part of me that's like, cool.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Like those are the details of the Old West that I don't want to live that way but for like a weekend to be like, yeah, it's the Old West. I got to live the Old West. Forgive me, Alia. I just need a backup. You know, the wash basin story is great.
Starting point is 00:16:43 but Stewart has just been the first person I've ever heard in history to advocate for the joy of using an outhouse. Let's research how crazy that is what he just said. You've heard about Richard Branson's outside toilet, right? It's not that different on his island. It's very different.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Wait, does he just sit on like a fucking toilet and shit out in the open? Yes, he has a toilet that was installed in the outside. out in the open so that he could see the ocean while he's shitting. And there's no walls and he's rich. There's nobody around. So he just goes out there and takes a dump.
Starting point is 00:17:20 That sounds like anyone could run up and hit you. Magical. I mean, anyone could run up here except there's a private island and you're paying everybody there. So, I mean, that's what knives out, the glass onion should have been about is that he gets hit on the head while using his outdoor toilet. But sitting on a wooden plank with a hole in it above the fumes of everyone else's waste product. You're part of a community. All right. So in Westworld, so is this, in the, is it like the,
Starting point is 00:17:48 because in the movie West World, it's a theme part called Delos, and there's three different worlds, right? There's West World, Roman World, and Medieval World. Do they have those in the TV show or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. They do? Okay. Which one would you go to, Valley? Westworld, but then I also, I mean, I try them all, you know.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Go to West, go to, I think that the thing is you go there for different things. Would you go, like, would you, like, do deep role play and, like, go there to argue, like, current politics with all these cowboys and shit. No, no, what you do is you go there and you want to see if you can be mistaken by another visitor as one of the robots. Oh, yeah, that's, that's it. Because Westworld is about be a gunslinger,
Starting point is 00:18:25 medieval world is about be a knight, and Roman world is about being like, Roman world is the sex world. Like, that's the decadent kind of like, you go there to have orgies and features and things like that. Or to be a philosopher. That's true.
Starting point is 00:18:37 You can do both. You can't do both. Many of them did. Yeah. Okay. Now let's jump to 2054. Okay. Minority report.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Minority report. Self-driving cars. Pre-cogs solving future crimes. So really the dystopian element. The dystopian element. Yeah, that's the Elliott element. Yeah. Of this is the pre-crime stuff.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Yes. You know, which... And you can get your eyes swapped out by a guy in his gross house. You know, that's pretty dystopian. Oh, wow, we're judging the house of him now. I'm not pro pre-crime, you know, prosecution. But even in the world we are shown,
Starting point is 00:19:25 it seems to work most of the time. That's the official rule on it. That's true. How can you know for sure? But I'm just saying that, like, that seems to be the one truly dystopian part of it and everything else seems kind of cool. Yeah, I mean, I don't love that like when you walk onto a,
Starting point is 00:19:44 the fact that you're constantly, your eyes are constantly being scanned so that they can program ads and things like that just as you're walking down. Yeah, that's weird. There's no way that would happen. I mean, it kind of happens now, but not why you're just walking down the street with your, they don't scan your eyes, right?
Starting point is 00:20:00 But like, I mean, if you talk about shit near your phone, you start getting ads for the shit you talked about. That's not that far off. listening to what you're saying and giving you ads based on. Yeah, that's a... So I guess in terms of how accurate, how much... How likely? How likely is this?
Starting point is 00:20:18 I don't think we're going to suddenly discover people with psychic... Psychic precognitive powers? No. Okay, so that takes a couple points off. But I think the rest of it seems pretty... Like, I'll give it a six or a seven, yeah. Okay, yeah. It's sort of beautifully putting down all of our scores.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Now, how bad do you want to live in this sucker? I think as long as I'm not accused of a crime, I could do a seven for this as well. Again, it's like grading it on the curve. If we're comparing it to the Road Warrior world, then 10. But if we're comparing it to, but just on its own platonically, there's nothing about it where I'm like, oh, cool, I want to live there. You know, so it would be like a five for me, like, eminently livable,
Starting point is 00:21:04 but it's not like I'm like going, the back to the future world for my future two, not the Biff world, but the first one, I'm like, that looks like a fun place to live. Yeah. Whereas this minor report does not look like a fun place to live. So it seems safe but not fun. Yes, exactly. Arguably.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Are you also going to give it a five? I'm saying, I think Dan gave it a 12. I am reading it on a curve, so I'm giving it a seven. Just because I... If I'm comparing it to the current world we live in, I would rather live in this world than the Minority Report world. Now, guys, we're going to take a little bit of a jump. for our next one.
Starting point is 00:21:41 21 Jump Street in the year 21. 2293. Oh, that's quite a jump. A little place called Zardaws. The place called Zardos? In our hearts. I mean, as... The world of Zardaz.
Starting point is 00:21:57 First off, would you guys... Do you guys think you would... How likely is this world to come about? And would you like to live amongst the brutes? No, why would you want to live amongst the brudals? I don't know. I don't know. If you feed a giant stonehead wheat and it shoots guns out of it rules.
Starting point is 00:22:14 A two, because I feel like there is a chance that will become so stratified that they're stratified that there'll be a sort of. Stratisfied is when it's stratified, but we're satisfied with it. Yeah. That there will be like a board overclass and a bunch of brudels, but I don't think it's going to result in a giant stonehead floating around yelling about penises. If we're looking at the details, I would say it's a one. With my Zardaz Flop TV presentation, during that presentation,
Starting point is 00:22:44 I was saying, we live in the Zardos world in the larger sense. So I think it is very likely, like Dan saying, a board upper class that treats a lower class like at best tools
Starting point is 00:22:54 and at worst play things and a big ugly head that yells nonsense at us and wants us all to shoot each other, which is what we have right now as president. And like I think, and wearable AI
Starting point is 00:23:07 is the thing that I pointed out is in there and they want us to have it so badly. So I think... Fucking gagging for it. In the broader... But like immortality and running around in a red diaper on horseback, I think is not going to happen. So I'm going to give it a six for likelihood. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:23 And how badly would you want to live and are you guys... I mean... I mean, in the idyllic English countryside of the Eternals? This is a tough one because there is a lot of casual toplessness that I like. Quite a bit. But they also seem to have lost interest in sex and knowledge of how to do it. This is one of those things where it comes up in movies where they're like, we have everything provided for us for so long that we have lost the will,
Starting point is 00:23:45 the ambition to do anything, and we no longer can even get it up. And I'm like, I don't think that's what's going to happen. I'm more of the Willy Wonka. Did you ever hear what happened to the boy who got everything he wanted? He lived happily ever after a form of belief about what would happen, you know. Yeah, I mean, as bored as they seem in certain ways, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:24:05 Like a life of total leisure doesn't sound terrible to me. No, it doesn't. I mean, you might get bored of it after centuries, which seems to be what they're implying has happened for them. But I think... I'd want to ride around a horse blasting dudes and being a barbarian king. Yeah, I might give this one to seven as well. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:22 All of it sounds pretty good right now. If I get to be one of the immortals, I'm going to give it an eight. Because really I just want time to sit around and read. You'd be what if you want, Elliot. Time enough at last, you know? I would rather not be riding... Because I know, again, if I'm in the Brutels world, I'm not one of the exterminators or one of the terminators like Zed.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I'm going to end up being one of the brutals who has a gun poked. Like, as Ted Kennedy said, what is it, when you're raising rice with your gun on your back? What is it? Slave for soldiers with a gun on your back for a bowl of rice a day. That's the position I would be in. I would be one of the people who is a forced laborer. I don't want to do that.
Starting point is 00:25:01 No, okay, that makes sense. I don't know, slave your soldiers for slaves to still he'll starve and you're his for God's sake let's get this lyric exactly right.
Starting point is 00:25:09 No, Dan, I need to get the lyrics of Holliday and Cambodia right in my mind. We could do. Say you like video games and who doesn't. I mean, some people probably don't. Okay, but a lot of people do.
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Starting point is 00:27:43 Actually, this isn't that far of a jump. Now, this takes place kind of between the 23rd and 24th century, and that is the world of Star Trek. The world of Star Trek. And by that, I mean, theoretically,
Starting point is 00:27:56 you're part of the, what, Federation? You're not, we're not Romulans. We're not Romulans. You're not like regular dudes on a planet. You're flying around. in one of the Federation spaceships.
Starting point is 00:28:08 I think... Yeah, go on. What do you think, Dan? Likely it happened? A post-religion society? This sort of... Post-Scarcity society. That's the exciting thing about it.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Totally utopian, cooperative society seems more and more unlikely to me with every passing year. So I'm going to give it a one, unfortunately. I think the same. I'm going to give it like a two. If we do manage to come up with a machine that can replicate whatever, then I think maybe it'll happen.
Starting point is 00:28:35 But... What? How would you guys like to live in this? Oh, 10. For sure. Just exploring the universe right now. And you get tired of it. Just be in Sherlock Holmes time for a little bit.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Who cares? Oh, no, we already. And you don't have to join Starfleet. You could just be a regular person and just have a great life doing whatever. Everyone around you is like super competent all the time. Yeah. That's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:00 You got a droid with you that can sing. Why not? Why not? Now we, uh, I, I feel like that was a pretty easy one. The worst thing that happens is you go down to hang out with Whoopi Goldberg at a bar. That sounds great. We push Wesley off the ships.
Starting point is 00:29:12 We don't have to deal with his ass anymore. I guess the worst thing that happens is a cue comes along and just fucks up things for a little bit. But, you know, then he goes away. Yeah, I mean, he's mainly like showing up to give you puzzles to solve. Yeah. Now, I don't want to end up as part of the Borg. That would not be great, you know. No.
Starting point is 00:29:28 I think that's unlikely. I think most people are not Borg at that point, right? Yeah. Not out of 10 at least. Yeah. Yeah. And you can come back from that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Card did. It was a board. Seven of nine or whatever. Seven of nine is a good Borg, yeah. You play a good Borg. As in, or as in the... You play a good Borg. Well, I was going to say like...
Starting point is 00:29:48 You play a good Borg, Borg. As in the Keenan and Kell movie Good Borger. Yeah, starring Bjorn Borg. One of the best borg. Yeah. Certainly. Give me a little better. Give me one better.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yeah, name a better Borg than that. Okay. I'll wait. Oh, man. We're flying through this, guys. Henri Borgson? I don't think so. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:17 We returned to the 24th century to the world of the hunger games. Kind of the opposite of our post-scarcity society. Yeah. Will this happen? 10. It will happen. Yeah. They won't call it the hunger games, though.
Starting point is 00:30:33 That's the issue I have with that movie. and the book is they would call it like the National Pan Am Unity Games. They wouldn't give it a name like the Hunger Games. What was it like the bullshit that Trump wanted to do? The Patriot games. Based of course on the film and Patriot games. Yeah, you've got to figure out some spy shit and...
Starting point is 00:30:52 Similarly, like, the Nazis weren't like, we're going to ship you to the death camps now. The Nazis were like, we're going to take you to the work camps. It's just we're working at it. Of cultural reeducations center. So there would be a better branding for the Hunger Games, but otherwise 10. Yes, certainly.
Starting point is 00:31:07 That's a road that I can see this going down. Outfits. Outfits all make sense. The outfits make sense. Woody Harrelson as a former champion makes sense. I'm going to give it a seven just because I've never quite understood these dystopian societies where like the idea is like, and now to distract everyone, what we're going to do is have a game where like a bunch of kids kill one another. Like the long walk is the same thing.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I'm like, okay, well, how did we arrive here? How is this helping the government rather than fomenting war? So I think the difference is in the, I think maybe we'll give it a nine then. I think what they, I don't see them saying each send us one of your children and they're going to kill each other. I think, but I could see them saying like now it's, now it's the, it's the, it's like the terrorist games. All these people that we arrested as terrorists who are freedom fighters or rebels, they're going to fight each other to the death and whichever one survives. Like if the long walk was, I mean, what makes the long walk terrifying is that it's kids who have to do it. but if the Long Walk was political prisoners, I could see that.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Yeah. And then it's entertaining for the masses. And then once it's already been established, then it'd be like, now it's celebrity long walk. You're right. It would be Celebrity Long Walk and you'd have like, who would go on Celebrity Long Walk? Who'd sign up for that right away? Anybody, yeah. Like Mario Lopez?
Starting point is 00:32:21 You would crush it. It'd be like Mario Lopez, Dean Kane, like a bunch of people like that would go on Celebrity Long Walk. And then after and then after the Celebrity Long Walk's done so well, that's what when you bring the normals in. That's how it works. Well, then it's Long Walk Jr. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Yeah. And Gordon Ramsey yells at them until they provide delicious food. You call that walking. Yeah. Okay, so we talked about likelihood. How much would you like to live
Starting point is 00:32:49 in the world of the Hunger Games? Would you get caught up in some kind of love triangle with other Hunger Games athletes? I mean, like, at what, at my current age? Would you live in the Capitol? Would you be the Woody Heraldson? Be in the games.
Starting point is 00:33:00 So at least I've got that guy for me. You're a former Hunger Games. winner. You kind of gone to see you a little bit from your trauma. That seems pretty sweet, honestly. Yeah. I still give it a four even at that point. Okay. I'm going to give that a two.
Starting point is 00:33:14 I don't want to be in that world. I got to say, Stanley Tucci fucking loves that shit. So I think he, it's probably pretty fun. I mean, if you're Stanley Tucci, you're an amoral famous TV announcer. Then, yeah, what a great place to be. In the capital, you get to wear all those crazy clothes to. In the capital, they call those crazy clothes normal clothes. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Or as we call them clothes. It's like we have this restaurant here where I live called Pizza Kitchen. You may know where you live as California Pizza Kitchen. And the straw. It's just called a straw. Okay, guys, we are going so far into the distant future. Oh. The year is 2505.
Starting point is 00:33:52 The movie Idiocracy. Oh, well. Again, 10. It's become shockingly. shockingly sharp. The only question is why to say that we are living in it. Why did it take so fucking long?
Starting point is 00:34:07 Yeah, well, that was the, it's the same with, it's the opposite of 2001 of Space Odyssey, where they're like, oh yeah, by the year 2001 we'll have a hotel on the moon or whatever. Instead, it took much less time to get that. Although I would say the difference is, and this is the thing that, if I can be honestly political for a moment, that hardens me,
Starting point is 00:34:23 is that I feel like we live in, in bureaucracy in terms of the fact that President Camacho is in charge, if anything, is crazier. Like President Camacho in the movie is just dumb, but he genuinely seems to want to help America. He's just dumb. I feel like the populace of our country is showing that they make bad decisions
Starting point is 00:34:41 but are not stupid, you know, in the way of like, we don't remember how to water plants and things like that, you know. So I think it's unlikely that people will get so dumb that they don't remember how to farm, you know, that they don't remember the basics of this is how we grow food and eat food. So I'm going to give it a five. I believe politicians getting that dumb.
Starting point is 00:34:59 but the ordinary people, the regular Americans that I talk to every day, Dan and Stuart, I don't know, you're pandering, you're pandering. I see them continuing to be empathetic, generous, neighborly, he's going to share an anecdote of a guy he met on the street. You know, I was talking to, I was talking to Ranch Branson.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Ranch Branson, you know, him, he works at the paper mill, and he was telling me he doesn't care about all this fussing and feuding. He's not into this culture wars. Ranch Branson, he just wants to raise his face. family and he wants to have other Americans raise their families in a place where they don't have to worry about violence. They don't have to worry that they're not going to be able to put food on the table. This is what, this is what Ranch Branson and all those great Americans like him watch.
Starting point is 00:35:40 There's a bunch of interrupt you, but there's a tweet from Ranch Branson three years ago where he said some really concerning things about Black Lodge Matter. Oh boy. Well, this is there are a bunch of, look, I'm not here to divide. I'm here to unite. Wonderful people out there who are standing up for their communities and fellow. of humans every day. There's also a bunch of people out there who seem to have been guzzling lead for years,
Starting point is 00:36:04 so I'm a little less. So Elliot says five, what is your likelihood of this occurring? I'm going to go six. Six. Okay. How much would you like to live in the world of idiocracy? Well, I mean,
Starting point is 00:36:21 I'm not loving the world we're living in at the moment. And this feels like a slightly heightened version of the world. It feels almost like a caricaturedured for the sake of satire version. But not in a fun way. No. I'm going to say like a four, you know, three or four. Again, people have houses.
Starting point is 00:36:41 People have food, you know. On the one hand, I do hate like trying to explain something to people who want to almost seemingly be willfully ignorant about it. But on the other hand, idiocracy at least seems like a fun version of that. That's very brightly colored, zany. I guess that's true. And in idiocry, a guy comes in and says like, hey, do it this way instead.
Starting point is 00:37:05 And people listen to him because it seems to work. And I don't have faith that that would happen in this world. Yeah. I'm going to go right in the middle. I'll put it out of five, I guess. Eidocracy is another one where it's like both prescient, but it's also it's like a pre-social media satirical. It's a theoretical view, right?
Starting point is 00:37:21 And that's the thing that's kind of like missing from it in some ways. You know, it's still a mass media satire. So we now jump to the year 2688. Wow. We are looking at the future in the universe of the movie Bill and Ted. Wow. A future built on the music of two rock and roll musicians. There's world base.
Starting point is 00:37:43 It's kind of hard to tell what else is going on at all. It seems like it's a world made out of classrooms where they just learn about Bill and Ted. They hang out in like robes and stuff. They have robes. And it's a multicultural future. very colorful I mean I'm going to give it a two
Starting point is 00:38:00 just because I have a lack of faith in the world coming together because of some metal music Oh yeah I'm going to give it a I mean metal is an interesting description I'm going to give it a one I think it's very unlikely future
Starting point is 00:38:15 But Hair metal I mean what do you want to I mean it's a form of metal It's rock and roll It's hard rock yeah it's hard rock Yeah it's approaching hair metal fucking metal snobs over here, both of you.
Starting point is 00:38:27 I'm sorry, I believe that words have definitions. I believe that words have meanings. Yeah. I feel like Zubin defending denying the insurance claims of people who lost their homes in floods. Oh, well, why don't we pay out to everybody and the insurance companies will fall apart? This is a conversation that we had behind the scenes of the Daily Show years ago. Yeah, back when he was working as a lawyer for a bad company. It's so funny.
Starting point is 00:38:53 And not lawyer for bad companies. My client said that they feel like making love. Making love specifically to the plaintiff. Okay, so how much would, how likely are you to want to live in this rock and roll-based future? I'm going to go nine. I'm not going to go full ten because even though it seems utopian, it also seems a little boring because they're just sort of wandering around. You know. Just give it a 10.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Come on, I give it a 10 completely. As someone who is too busy and has too much stress, I'm eager for the world of boredom of the future, you know. Yeah. So we are almost... Dan, I'll find something to do. I'll find a hobby. We are on the home stretch.
Starting point is 00:39:39 We have two left. Okay. Okay. We are going so far into the future. We are in 2805, the world of Wally. And now this is a world that, this is a year that it's almost certainly we will not live to see. 28. Fucking hope not.
Starting point is 00:39:59 And by the world, let's talk about the world in general. And then as far as would we like to live there, of course, I'm not talking about the trash planet that Wally exists on, but rather the place
Starting point is 00:40:11 where the humans live, which is on the... Yeah, well, I thought the trash world is what you were talking about. And I was like, uh, yes, all that stuff. And I don't know. All those old movies I can watch.
Starting point is 00:40:21 I can walk cello dolly, whatever I want. In terms of likelihood, I have a lot of faith in us turning our planet into a trash planet, but less faith in us being able to create a big sky arc to escape it. Yeah. And of course, Fred Willard has since passed, so hit the idea that he would be elected president seems unlikely. So because of those conflicting things, I'm going to go right down the middle and give it a five. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Yeah, similarly, I think I'm going to give it a five. I think the, I'm going to give it a five because, like Dan saying, we're going to trash the world, but I don't think we're going to be able to get everybody up onto that spaceship. But at the same time, I also don't think robots are going to be as cute as the robots in Wally. I think you're right. Those robots are super cute. And the robots that I've seen so far that people are making, surprisingly not cute. Yeah, they're all fucking duds.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Yeah. They look like, yeah, they're real duds. Yeah. More fuckable robots, says Elliot. No, not cute in that way, Dan. That's not what I'm saying. But like, fuckable as in like. I think Wally and Eva, I think Wally and Eva are really fuckable.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Exactly. But I look at Wollie and Eve. I'm like, hold me back. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm like Anthony Lane watching the Incredibles too, you know? Wows. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Wilders. He goes to like a. Anthony Lane do his fucking, his fucking cinema chair. Why did that popcorn just go flying into the air? Yeah, as his boner springs
Starting point is 00:41:41 that, they had to ask Anthony Lane to leave the theater because he was making everybody so uncomfortable with the drooling he was doing over the Incredibles too. His tongue had rolled out into a massive red carpet. Springs, spittle everywhere.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I still love, I think it was Michael Coverman who did the fake excerpt from that where he talks about having to run to the bathroom to Jackal in the middle of the Incredibles too and people were like, did that really happen? Is this really the review? Oh man, it was like, who was that who made that fake red hot chili pepper song
Starting point is 00:42:10 that everybody's like, is that a real red hot chili pepper song? I don't know that one. It's so funny. Okay, so how likely would you like to live on a space arc in Wally? Seems pretty pretty. I mean, like, it's like a cruise, which, you know, you get tired of after a while. And also, I think you would get tired of never seeing the sun or having fresh air.
Starting point is 00:42:31 I think it's hard to overestimate how important it is to have air circulating around you that doesn't feel canned and to have actual sunlight hitting you for just human well-being, you know. But it'd be fun to take a vacation on that spaceship. I mean, the creature comforts feel good, but like, yeah, a lot of on-wee would set in as we see in the film. I mean, always that's in nowadays, and I'm not on a space arc. That's a good point. So what are we going to say? What are we going to say? Would I want to live there?
Starting point is 00:42:59 On the space arc? I'm going to give that a six. Yeah, six is what I was going for it too. I mean, to live in a place where I never have to stand up, and I'm probably just eating chicken fingers all day and watching TV sounds good for a little bit. I think I would get bored of that eventually, you know. Okay. And our last one is a treat.
Starting point is 00:43:18 The 31st century. Whoa, so far in the future. The world of Futurama. Oh. Do you get to hang out with all those guys? Hey, you can.
Starting point is 00:43:30 My friends? My TV friends. That's the second part of the, that's the second part of the question. First category is, how likely is the world of Futurama to come about? Well,
Starting point is 00:43:40 I'm going to give, what do you say, Dan? I'm sorry. It's just like the fact that they build New New York on top of the wreckage of old New York feels like a pretty believable.
Starting point is 00:43:50 way of humans reacting to disaster. Yeah, and that is the main thing about Futurama. That is the main aspect of its future. It's just the thing that came to my mind. What were you going to say, Ellie, you son of a bitch? I think it's very unlikely, if only because as much, there is nothing I want
Starting point is 00:44:07 more in human history than to be alive when humanity makes contact with an alien intelligence. There's two things I want to experience. I want to see a dinosaur that's never going to happen. It's just impossible. It's never going to happen. And I want to There's a series of very popular movies that question your statement.
Starting point is 00:44:23 That's true. I'll put them in as exhibit B for the... Carnosaur? Carnesor 2. Tammy and the T-Rex. Yeah. I think... But I want to see humans make alien contact. It would be so exciting to me, even if it was a negative experience. It would be...
Starting point is 00:44:38 I mean, I don't want that to happen. Even if it's a fucking predator shows out, it starts blasts us. I would be like, to know that there's alien life, it would be amazing. But I think it is so unlikely because of the vast distances of the universe that that that will happen in my lifetime, that certainly by the time of Futurama, that there would be so many aliens,
Starting point is 00:44:55 that it would be so easy to just hop around the universe. I think it's just not, unfortunately, I think it's just not likely to happen. So I'm going to have to give it a very low happenability rate. And also... Do I want to live in that future? Yeah, 10, 100%. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Yeah, I mean, just because it's so far ahead, I'm going to leave the door open. I'll give it a two for likelihood. Yeah. I think it's unlikely that that far in the future, everyone will be making the same pop culture references that we make now. They'll have their known new thousand years later pop culture references, but still. But as a world to live in, it's like this sort of retrofuturistic world that, of course, I'm going to love.
Starting point is 00:45:34 There is a lot of danger in this world, but they always seem to get out of it. There's a lot of danger, and it's pretty grimy. It's pretty grimy and messy. Yeah. I'm going to give it a nine, but I will still also give it a high score. Because I thought you were going to give it a higher score because there's so much casual nudity as the series goes on. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Well, as soon as they got onto like streaming, they're like, oh, okay, we can just like have like Amy's butt in this scene. Let's do it. And like, Zoidberg can be a doctor. That's pretty cool. A world where a crab can be a doctor. If you're asking me, if I want to live in a world where an alien crab man who sounds just like George Jessel is a doctor, yes.
Starting point is 00:46:14 I do want to live in that world for sure. Yeah. Yeah, so that has been our look to the future. Listeners. I love that Stuart was noting down the scores for everything very carefully, and then there was no payoff. Not at all. He's just making more work for himself.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Doesn't matter. Yeah. But what matters to me is listeners, how close were we, did we get anything incredibly wrong? Did we forget futuristic? I mean, it's about the future, so I don't know if we're going to know yet. Well, Chris Welk could write in, and he would tell us. That's true, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:50 We're all interested in the future. We'll find out about it on Flop TV. And please, when we, if we, if we put, I will probably post a clip of this episode on Instagram. If you could chime in with any futuristic movies, I may have forgotten that I did not add to this list. If we got any information wrong, chime in and I will mention it later. I kept waiting for Outland to come up, but I guess you had only one Sean Connery movie. Yeah, I had a, yeah. When I was working on this mini,
Starting point is 00:47:20 Conan the Barbarian was standing behind me, and he gave me that rule, and if I broke it, he would slice my head off my shoulders. I'm glad you followed him about that. Yeah, that's the way right now mini works. Thanks so much. This has been a mini episode of the Flop House podcast. We are on the Maximum Fun Network.
Starting point is 00:47:36 There's plenty of good shows on there. I don't like the implication there. But there's plenty of good shows. Yeah, and we're not one of them. Yeah, okay. In contrast to us. This episode was, like all our episodes, it's produced by Alex Smith,
Starting point is 00:47:52 who goes by Howell Dottie on the Internet. He's a treat to work with, and he produces a ton of great content on his own. Check him out on Band Camp, Twitch, etc. I have been Stuart Wellington. I've been Tam McCoy. And I'll be Elliot Kaelin in the future. I see what he did.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Maximum Fun. own network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you

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