The Flop House - FH Mini #150 - Best Stephen King Movies

Episode Date: May 23, 2026

Stuart helps us winnow down the 80+ movies where Stephen King gets a writing credit, to discover the ten best, and which film is the true "king of King's." Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! It’s the best way to keep up on all things Flop House! Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

Hey there, folks. This is Stuart Wellington of the Flop House podcast, and I want to welcome you to another edition of the Flop House Mini. This is a slightly shorter version of the Flop House podcast where instead of watching a bad movie, we do kind of whatever. And I am joined by the other two members of the Flop House. Dad McCoy! And Elliot Kalin.

Matching my energy, I love it. Now, in honor of a recent episode, that's right, Dream Catcher, I thought we should go. for the King of Cinema. That's right. We're going to talk about the cinematic works of one Stephen King. Stephen King, you might know him. He is a novelist. He was a, uh, at one point, apparently, a cocaine user. And, uh, he has so many screenwriting credits. I thought it would be fun if we took a look at his various movies and we did a definitive, that's right, a definitive top 10 ranking of them

based on our own personal judgments. Now, looking at the works of Stephen King, I know you'd probably say, that guy's got a couple of movies under his belt. And you know what? I thought that until I looked at his fucking filmography, and there's like zillions. Well, this is what I was going to ask, when you say screenwriting credit, like, are these the ones where he literally has a screenwriting credit, or it's based on a work-by?

Based on works. I'm not going to do screenwriting credits because that's like, what, like three movies. Like maximum overdrive. When he directed one, you know. One, I think that is actually. We are not. We are not going to do that. sleepwalkers.

We are in fact just going to be talking about... Okay. We're going to be talking about movies that are either based on works or screenplays he wrote, but we're talking about movies. Now, this is not TV. This is not episodes of things.

Sorry, Langaleers. Get the fuck out of here. I mean... Castle Rock. If we were just talking about, like, TV or TV movies... Sorry, Kingdom Hospital. That was in right.

It would be going on forever. It would be going... Like, I've got to say, like, just looking at his upcoming credits, it's like 50 things. It's bonkers. Sorry. Shining with Tim Daly?

Or was that Stephen Webster? Weber. Stephen, Tim. No, wait, Weber. It was Stephen Weber, but he was doing it as Webster from the TV show Webster. Some people thought it was in bad taste. Not me, though. Stephen Weber, I know less from Wings and more from his very successful runs on Celebrity Jeopardy.

He's very talented. Or Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I've ever heard of it. You've heard of it. You guys want to talk to me about it for an hour? I would love to talk to you about it for more. More than an hour. Okay, but we don't have time for that.

We have to go through these movies. We got to do a studio 60 season at some point. Yeah, at some point. So what we're going to be doing is we're going to be going, I did my bet. Now, guys, listeners, I did my best to, like, parse what counts. And I'm doing currently feature-length films. Ideally, some are released on video, but they're all movies. But you're not doing any from like the Dollar Baby Project or whatever it's called,

where he'll license his stories for a dollar to a student filmmaker or an, independent filmmaker. I don't think so because once again, we're talking feature-length films, not like short-off. Yeah, those are usually shorts. Again, please. Wheel shorts, the crossword puzzle editor.

So to cut this list down, which is enormous, we are gonna, we're gonna first do a quick weeding process where you guys are gonna say, we gotta weed all his books? That's a lot of books to weed. We're gonna be like virtual lawnmowermen

and we are going to weed this garden. So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to list the name and year of a work. And if you want to cut it, you just, you guys just jump in and you say cut it, cut it, get it out of here, okay? Do I have to do the Dave Cooleyer cut it out hand signal? You don't because that's going to take way too long. We got a million of these to go through. So we're actually, these are going to be in order but backwards, starting with right now today.

Okay, so we're going back. We're going back in time. This round is just cutting movies that we are dismissing out of hand. There is no way this is going to be in our top 10. Okay. Okay. Okay. So first, the running man, 2025.

Kill it. I liked it, but kill it. Okay. The long walk. Haven't seen it yet. Kill it, kill it. Kill it, though. The monkey, 2025.

Haven't seen it. Kill it. No, no, no. I'm not leaving it. Sam's Lot, 2024. Haven't seen it. I haven't seen it either, so I can't speak to it. I'm going to say kill it.

The life of Chuck. I've heard the things. Haven't seen it. I liked it okay, but I don't think it's going to hit the top. Pet Cemetery Bloodlines. Kill it. Kill it. The boogemoner.

man. What? Mr. Harrigan's phone. What? I don't know what that is. Fire starter 2022. No, absolutely not.

No, we watched that. That's crap, yeah. Children of the Corn 2020. I haven't seen it. Sorry if they did one? So Children of the Corn 2020 is the Barbara Walter's Hugh Downs, Children of the Corn? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Okay. It comes on after TGIF, so I guess I'll watch it. Yeah. Wait, Andy Rooney was 2020, right? No, that was 60 minutes. Wrong TV show, wrong news magazine show with the number of the time. Wrong numerical news show.

Okay. Doctor Sleep. Haven't seen it. Kill it. I heard good things, though. I like it okay. It's a borderline case. I say kill it, I guess.

Okay. In the tall grass. Don't know what that is. Kill it. It chapter two. Kill it. Elliot, are you just going to say kill it to all these? For most things.

You're trying to make this. I mean, it will make this many shorter. Yeah. And also, a lot of things get. Did you want to keep It Chapter 2? I never saw it Chapter 2. I saw it Chapter 2. I saw it Chapter 1 and it annoyed me. So I never saw it chapter 2.

I'm one of the defenders of Itchapter 2 because I like how wacky it gets. But if we're going to keep one on here, I would probably argue for keeping the first it. Okay. Pet Cemetery 2019. Didn't see it. Oh, no, no. That was no good. Children of the Corn Run Away.

Don't know it. No. 1922. What? Wait. Oh, yeah. This is that Netflix. one.

I think it's like based on a short story, I think. I don't know enough about it. It chapter one or just it. I'd say let's keep it for now. You can hold on to it if you want. The Dark Tower. No, absolutely not. That was garbage.

Gerald's game. Maybe. I'm going to keep it. Yeah. Maybe good. Yeah. LA's like, Bruce Greenwood and Carla Gugino being hot and sexy.

I mean, it stops being sexy when she has to slice the skin off her own hand. But, you know, it's, I'm not into that. But the first couple minutes, sure. Yeah. Sell. You know what? I never saw the movie.

I never saw a book. That's a good book. But I don't think it's good. We haven't seen it. It does have John Cusack. It's a late period of John Cusack, though. It's not a good sign. How about Mercy 2014?

What the fuck is that? Oh, that was the John Stamos, Stephen King combo? Yeah, yeah. I think it is. I don't know that one. A good marriage. Don't know it. You know what?

That one's actually kind of a nice sleeper, but I don't think. No, sleeper is a Woody Allen movie, Dan. Oh. You don't have sleepwalkers. That's Stephen King. A good married sleeper. Carrie 2013. I don't know for sure, but I'm going to say no.

I think there's going to be a carry on this list. It will not be that one. Yeah. Children of the Corn, Genesis. It's so funny. He's a very tenuous link to King at this point, but sure. Children of the Corn is one of those series where I'm like, I have never dealt with it,

except the first one, and I have so much trouble believing there's so many entries. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, howdy. Yeah. There's a view. There's nothing about the first children

in the corn movie where I'm like, this has legs. I will say, Microsoft Excel was getting very annoyed that they're like, you mean children of the... I'm like, no, no, no, it's a different one. This is a new one.

Clippy the paper clip is like, it seems like you're putting in another goddamn children of the corn movie. I'm going to put an X under Children of Genesis. I'll agree with that. Dolan's Cadillac. This has a friend of the pod, Christian Slater.

I don't know. And then we talked about his cash grab philosophy. I haven't seen that one. Okay. 1408, another John Hussack. You know what? That one's not bad. I never watched that one and I should have because that short story is, I really love that short story.

Let's keep it in for now because I fear that we're cutting so much. The Mist. Yeah, I'll keep it in for now. I'm not the fan of the ending of that a lot of people are. Well, maybe you just can't handle it a wimp. Yeah. I think I prefer the original video. deal game missed that was based on.

No, just kidding. It's terrible game. Yeah, Stephen King played so much missed that he wrote a movie about it. Riding the Bullet. I never saw that one. The Bullet. No, I don't know. No. Secret Window. That is a goofy-ass movie, but they can't

make an argument. That's a very goofy movie, yeah. Okay. Uh-oh. Dreamcatcher. No, thank you. Keep it on the, keep it on board. No, kill that one, too. The Dead Zone 2002. What? We didn't watch that one, did we? No.

Who's in that? Who's in that? Who's in that? Yeah. Okay. Children of the corn revelation. No, thank you. What could they be revealing?

What's the revelation? At this late date? Hearts and it is. So many children at this point. What about Hearts in Atlantis, gang? No. It's got Anthony Hopkins in it. I think I'm going to kill Hearts in Atlantis, yeah.

Oh, no. One second. Dan, do you want to defend Hearts and Atlantis? The other William Goldman Stephen King movie? I have never seen it. I looked boring. The Green Mile. Keep.

Okay. I'll allow it. Yeah. Okay. There may be two prison movies on this list. We'll see. Is this another Children of the Corn movie? Children of the Corn 666, Isaac's rebirth. Well, that one.

They couldn't even decide on what subtitle to get. Guys, you know 90% of this minis just me getting excited to read children. I mean, this is like if this mini is doing one thing, it's making me want to run through the children of the corn movies. He should have done that for the Boku instead of that transform. We should have drank a lot of Boku and then watch all the children of the corn movies.

The Rage, colon, carry two. I've heard some defenders of that, but I don't, yeah, I don't think it's going to not familiar. Be the carry that we... No, again, I think this will be one carry on the list, yeah. Sometimes they come back for more.

At the Golden Corral Buffet. I'm going to say no to that one. apt pupil. Oh, well, I like this one. It's a good movie that is all that has a, is icky because of the director and the way that the cast was treated. Oh, yeah, it's a bright. So that's a hard one. Let's, let's not kill it yet, but it's going to be, it's one of those things where are we, are we judging the work or are we judging the creation of the work?

Yeah, that's true. Children of the Corn Five, Fields of Terror. This is only the fifth one. We've been going backwards and we've only hit five now. Yeah, the six, six before this, yeah. Oh, yeah. The Night Flyer. I never saw the Nightflyer.

No. Nope. Thinner. Thinner is a very weirdly watchable movie. Like, if I come across thinner, like... Weirdly watchable, raves damn my hood. Lipping the channels, I'm like, oh, maybe I'll watch some of thinner, but I don't think it's good enough to... You know what?

We've killed so many. Do you want to hold on to it just for a moment and we kill later? We have tons more to go. All right. We have at least 30 more to go for. Wow. Did they ever make a movie of Eyes of the Dragon? No.

They keep threatening to do that or like make it a miniseries, but I don't think it's ever... I remember reading that as a kid and being like, when's the horror stuff going to happen? And then when it was over, I was like, I was glad there's no horror stuff. This is a straight fantasy book. That's right.

Children of the Corn for the Gathering. So who's gathering and why? The Juggalo is, I see. Oh, I see. That's good. The original children of the corn. The children of the Fago. The Children of the Fago, yeah.

Okay. Sometimes they come. back again. Wow, I didn't know there were two sequels. Yeah, there are. No, thank you. Because they keep coming back sometimes. Even the first one, isn't that good?

Are you wearing the sometimes they come back sequel? Yeah. Dolores Claiborne. Oh, you know what? That's a pretty good movie. Yeah. Children of the Corn three, Urban Harvest, which does sound like a grocery store. I want to tell you something.

I'm not going to argue for this to be on the thing, but I saw this at a weird Wednesday before the Almo got inshitiified. And it was so much of a blast that then I, like, showed it at my Halloween thing, party. Like, I think last year. And it was a delight. Everyone had a great time. That sounds like an argument to keep it on the list.

I mean, I'm not going to say it's a good movie. I'm saying if you're looking for a silly horror movie, that you're going to have a lot fun watching. What Dan is really doing is making a case for us doing, running the series of I think you got to do it. The COTC, urban harvest. Can we become Children's of the Corn? I think, I think, I think, Delores Claiborne, going back to that, I think let's keep it for now.

I don't know that it's going to end up on that top ten list. Especially because it's competing against another very strong Kathy Bates contender. Yes, exactly, exactly. We got The Mangler. No. A lot of fun, but no. The Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, that's not my.

Just kidding. We should put that on. It's not my phone, but yeah. Neatful things. Neatful things. Neatful things. Needful Things I've never seen because I don't think it'll live up to my idea of what that story should be. It's such a great concept for a story.

It feels like a very vague move. Needful Things has some fun, but it gets boring after a while the movie. The Dark Half. Yes. We're entering the era of Stuart sees these movies in the theater. Yeah, the Dark Half, I think we can keep for now. We'll keep it for now, yeah. Children of the Corn, too, the final sacrifice.

Obviously not because there's at least four more of them. Sleepwalkers. No. It's so funny though. One of our early Flap House live shows, so that's a fun one to watch. The Lawnmower Man. So, wait, you didn't include Lawmower Man, too, did you? It wasn't listed.

Or maybe it was and I missed it. I wonder if it's because it's so far from... I think that was one where he actually asked his name to be taken off of it. So maybe that's why. Maybe that's why, yeah. Now that I think about it, I'm like, yeah, I would have put it in there, obviously. Job's Revenge, right? Yeah, Job's Jobb's job.

Yeah, Job's Jobbing. And Job's Job. The Lawnmore Man is one of the most bizarre, extremely weird adaptations because the short story is about a man who, like, worships pan and eats the grass off of people's novels. Yeah, it's about a literal lawnmower man. I was confused when I read the book, the story after watching the movie. You're like, when do they have cyber sex? I don't understand.

When do they fly through cyberspace? When do we all jack in to the Matrix? Okay, so we're leaving Lawmower Man in, okay. No, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, I don't remember saying that. It's a great goofy movie, but it's like, it's not a good Stephen King movie. It's not the goofy movie. Yeah.

I also feel like... The goofy movie is maybe Stephen King's best movie. I also feel like, now that I'm going through this, I feel like Pet Semetery 2 might not even be in here. Oh, wow. Similarly, maybe he had his name taken off. Yeah. Okay. I think he, you know what?

I think he did. I think there's another one where he has to have. That's a fun sequel, though. That one is a fun sequel. It has one of my favorite, like, horror movie laugh moments when he rips that kid's face off with the motorcycle wheel, and he's like, oops. It's pretty funny.

Stephen King is a little weird about which movies he wants his name on which, like, Dreamcatcher. Oh, you think Stephen King's a weird guy? No, I don't think he's that weird in general, but, I mean, he has an addictive personality, but the, uh, that with Dreamcatchers, he was, at the time, he was like, they did a great job. This is going to be great. But with The Shining, he was like, nope, not interested, didn't like it. It's like, all right, well, we have different standards here. Okay, sometimes they come back.

No. This is the first one that. Regular style, no. I've never actually seen it. I just remember seeing it in the video store. It's okay. Okay, guys, now we got a heavy hitter. Misery.

Yeah, keep that on the list, yeah. Graveyard shift. No. No. Tales from the Dark Side, the movie. I'm leaving that shit in. Okay. Skip.

Pet Cemetery, the original. Yeah, I'd say yeah. The Running Man, the original. It's not that it's pretty different from his, the book, but there's, I mean, here's the thing. We're just talking about quality of movies, not how close it is to the original. That movie is objectively a goofball movie, but it's pretty fun to watch. It's very fun. Yeah, it's hard to, I don't know.

I'll let it. I think if we judge it on Death Race 2000, kind of like action. satire quality, then yeah, I think, let's keep it on the list for now. Yeah. A return to Salem's lot. I haven't seen this one. I haven't seen that one's going to say no. Creep show two.

I am a thousand percent leaving this one in. You can't argue with that. I don't remember which, I don't remember. I mean, I love the raft. I think the rest of it's pretty bad. Is the raft in creep show two or in creep show? No, it's definitely creep show too. I mean, I am leaving this in almost exclusively for Nisalger reasons.

The raft is great. Yeah. For some reason I thought that was in the first one. So I guess I do remember the creep show too a little bit. Mm-hmm. The Thanks for the Ride Lady bit is a thing that my mom insisted I watch and fucked me up for a long time. So I'm like, thanks, Mom. Okay, stand by me.

Yeah. Sure. Let's leave it on. How about that? Maximum Overdrive. No, but again, a very fun movie to watch. It is fun to watch, but it is, yeah, it's not a good movie. Yeah.

Stephen King's golden tales. I don't know what this is. It's a direct-of-video adventure. Tales of urine that he has passed, yeah. Stephen King's golden showers. Oh, you're right, you're right. That's right, that's right, that's true, yeah. Silver Bullet.

I like this movie, but I'm not going to fight for it at a point. I've never seen it. I love the, what, Bernie Wrightson color plates in the book. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible. Like, super awesome. Can I vote on that? Cats eye.

Cats eye. I haven't seen that since I was a kid. I like it. I particularly like the Quitters Incorporated segment, but I'm not going to say it. It belongs on the top. Fire starter, the original. No.

It's pretty boring even. It's better than the new one, but. Yeah. But that's a low bar to do. The original Children of the Corn, the story that birth the thousand ships. I mean, I feel like it's got to be on there just because it was so successful that it's had so many sequels, right? I don't remember it at all.

It's not a good or movie. It's a great short story. All I remember is kids arguing with each other in a cornfield or next to a road. Like, I remember very little else about it. Okay. Christine. Yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty low on my carpenter list, but. Yeah. Well, your number one would be the guy who made that table for you, right? My number one is Dan's Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Okay. So I'll leave it in. It's a carboner. Let's leave it in for now.

I don't think it'll make the 10. How about the Dead Zone? Oh, absolutely. That's a great movie. I love it. Cujo? I don't remember the movie. I don't remember the movie that well either.

I remember the book much better than the movie. Which speaks volumes for the movie. I think it's pretty good, but I don't think it's going to make the... I also get Cujo mixed up with the movie Man's Best Friend, where the dog escapes from the government lab and it has superpowers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.

Or chomps? Or chomps, yeah. Or hamps, the movie about camels. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, then we have... The funny thing is, I know that that's an actual movie. People might be thinking that's a joke, but it is a movie called Hobbs. Yeah, based on a true story.

Okay. We have, I'm going to hit no. Creep show? Yes. Sure. The Shining. Yes, even though it's the movie that made me think I was having a heart attack. I mean, that's a good movie.

movie. Salem's lot? I never actually have seen it. I don't think I've seen it either. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not. And Carrie. Yes.

Yes, let's put Carrie on that list, shall we? Okay, so that is the list. You know what? There are fewer good ones than I remember. Yeah. So we are going to take a brief pause while I tabulate. Alex, I want you include some tabulate sounds here. It'll take me one second gang.

While I get all these turrets. Turds off the thing. Stuart is turds on his laptop. Oh, turds on a laptop. Tirds on a laptop. Never been there before. Who cares? Drop-tick my laptop.

Ask him to the door. No one's there. The fun thing. Alex, I think you got to keep all this in now. I think you have to. Yeah, yeah, sure. Until fucking Mr. Belvedere comes after us for stealing his fucking shit. Well, here the blues are calling.

Terns on my laptop. For some reason. And if I seem a bit confused, well, maybe I've got turds on my laptop. But I don't know what to do with all those turds that are on my laptop. You're standing again. YouTube was feeding me the Mr. Belvedere fan club, S&L sketch the other day. What's the name that they give him in it? Well, wait.

They come up with a code name that they're going to call him. Oh, well, there's like a code name for like fans, like people in the fan club or something. I was like Broncos or something. I don't know what it was. Like I was like half paying attention because also Audrey was listening to like reels on her phone right next to me. There's always a competition for where my attention goes. And I'm just trying to think of what other theme songs can have turds on the laptop. I wake up in the morning and there's turds on my laptop and I think I'll never make it on time.

The laptop turd medley Yeah Okay Sometimes you want to go Where there are no turds on your laptop Whatever happened to the turds on your laptop The milkman The paper boy

The pooper boy, yeah There had to have been a review of the movie The Paper Boy There had to have been, Dan You're right, there had to have been Okay, gang. Scientifically. That does remember my column that used to run in the Metro newspaper

once it was next to a review of the Woody Allen movie Scoop and the headline was just, Scoop is poop. Not wrong. Okay, guys, we are back. We have efficiently cut down this list of 75 movies. Wow. To a trim 21 movies.

Oh, okay. We should have been more brutal. Yeah, we should have been more brutal. But this is a relatively simple thing. We don't have to make a huge case for these things. You simply have to give me a number rating between one and ten, one being the weakest, obvious, 10 being this is the best movie I've ever seen, give it a million. And then we're going to average those out.

And obviously, if there's, if you haven't seen it, you don't, you don't give it a score. But if, if there's a tie, yeah. Yeah. So if there's a tie or it's kind of, when his wife's, when his wife's organization comes up before him. But he doesn't because he's a corrupt piece of shit. That's true. Yeah, he has been a problem. He's been a blight on the country and humanity for many years.

So this now counts the political podcast. Hey, welcome to, welcome to Flopo Flop House. Here, we're talking about Stephen King movies. Now we're talking about the Supreme Court. Okay. And obviously... Did you know the Supreme Court voted Carrie Rage, Carrie 2 as the number one Stephen K movie?

Once again, the Supreme Court is just not going by precedent. Anyway, yeah. Okay. The first up is the monkey. Dan, what are you going to give the monkey between 1 and 10? Oh, boy, I really like this one, but I know that there's a lot. Six. Okay, six.

Elliot, did you see it? I haven't seen it, no. I'm going to give it a 7. I liked it a lot. I heard the things about it. The first it movie, Dan, what are you going to give it? Five. Elliot?

I'm also going to give it a 5. Wow, I'm giving it a 3. I did not care for it. Okay, Gerald's game. You're right, we loved it. That's why we gave it a 5 out of 10. I don't know why you took that I was simply trying to show off how much I liked it less than you guys

I see, I see. Okay, so you guys had to be the yardstick. Gerald's game. I like this one. I like this one. I liked it, but I'm going to give it a seven, I think. I'm going to give it a six. Okay.

And I liked it too. I'm going to give it a seven. Okay, 1408, Dan. Five. Okay. Elliot, did you see this one? No, I never saw it. Again, I love the short story.

I'm also going to give it a five. I wanted to like it as much as the short story, and I did not, but it was still pretty good. Do they do the thing where he picks up the phone and it's going one, two, three, all your friends are dead? Yes, I believe so, yeah. That's great, yeah. The Mist.

Now that we've been through a bunch of these, I'm going to also give it a five, I guess. Okay, Elliot. I'll give it a six. You're going to give it a six, okay? Was there anything about the Mist? I think we've talked about the ending Did you both dislike the ending?

I remember watching the theater and being like This kind of sucks But also I'm like well they went for it I like that they did I kind of felt similarly yeah I like that they did something different And they were like well let's make it real mean But I honestly like the uncertainty

Of the novellas ending more Yeah I mean when I was a I remember discovering discovering Discovering this This short story or novel when I was a kid and being like, oh, wow, there's monsters in the mist. And that was, and like the idea that there's like, there could be a whole world of monsters running around that you can barely see.

Like, as a kid, I'm like, this is the coolest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, and like there's, I mean, what I do like about the movie The Miss, I don't know, maybe I'm undervaluing it just because, you know, we've talked about. I'm going to give it a six as well. But it's like, it's a lot of cool monster stuff in there. Anyway. I think, I mean, it's, I, it's a fun kind of like, yeah, fun, cool thing. for most of it. And in the end, they're trying something.

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effectiveness, or quality, prescription acquired, see website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. We also have a jumbo-tron this week. Jumbotron. Thank you. Very exciting. And this jumbotron is for Sarah and Faragall,

and it comes from Mikey and Dylan. And the message is thus, you're getting married. Your favorite North Inishowen brothers can't wait to party with you, South Inishow and Bozos in Derry this May. Hope Elliot's dulcet tones, thank you, make up for not getting your playlist done yet,

but hopefully the Peaches can recommend some tracks to cover us and manifest a rah-rah for your powerfully thick cat, Magnus. Love U's. It's very sweet. It's always nice when people get married. I'm supposed to come up with some playlist tracks for what kind of... I don't know. Dan, I know what playlist track you're going to recommend for a wedding,

and that's... This must be the place naive melody by talking heads. No, that's true. What a sweet wedding song that is. It is a very sweet wedding song that is. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for covering me.

No problem. I'm also going to recommend, let's see... What's another... This is a similar song to that one, which is Sherlock Holmes. by Sparks. I'm still thinking like Dan McCoy here, which is a song that's partly about Sherlock Holmes,

but is also about finding love, even though you are not Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, and I'd probably recommend smooth up in you by the Bullet Boys. Okay, sure. So put all those on there, I guess. I guess put those on the playlist. I think you had a few personal plugs

before we got back to the show. I've just got the regular batch of personal plugs I'd like to mention. My new comic book, Barbarian Behind Bars, is out now from Magic. Cave Studios. Check out the latest issue. It is about a Conan the Barbarian-type Barbarian who ends up on Earth, gets thrown in jail. He doesn't speak the language. No one knows who he is. He's got to fight his way out.

But maybe, just maybe, the evil that he was chasing to our world is out to get him at the same time. And there's somebody's second to. Maybe. Maybe. Definitely. Let me just tell you it definitely is. Also, I continue to come out with Harley Quinn for DC Comics. I think that my Bat Quinn storyline is still going on. It's called The Hark Night Returns, where Harley Quinn has been split into two. and one of those two is essentially her version of the Dark Night from Dark Night Returns. And I had a lot of fun writing it. My book, Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense, is still out now from the University of Chicago Press. I just finished recording the audiobook of it.

So that will be released at some point. So get ready to hear me read my book if you don't want to read me, read my book. And that's what I got. Stu, do you have any personal stuff you'd like to plug? I mean, I would always recommend going over to Jiggle Studios. And signing up for a class if you're here in New York. And if you're not, they have a link on the website to some merch if you want to show off and get some cool fitness gear and show off your sport of a cool little small fitness studio. Now we got the Green Mile. Green Mile three hours long, by the way.

I'm not. That's a long walk. Oh. Yeah. It's a perfectly pleasant movie, but I'm more of a five for this. Oh, I like the Green Mile. I think I haven't seen it in years, but I think I'm going to give it a, I'm going to give it an eight. Wow.

I'll give it a six just because, though I liked it, I thought it was a little long, long. It is a little long, that's true. We got apt pupil. Apt pupil. Oh, this is rough. Again. So as we said, this part of the problem. here is this was directed by Brian Singer, right?

Directed by Brian Singer. Even at the time, there were allegations that some of the underage male actors were mistreated, were told to do scenes in the nude. I remember reading when the movie came out, Entertainment Weekly did an article about this. And looking back on it, it's surprising that Brian Singer then went on to make more and bigger movies after what happened

on the set of that movie. So it's a little hard to... Was this before after usual suspects? This was, I think, after usual suspects, but before X-Men, I believe. And I think it was, it helped that I think everyone thought X-Men was going to be a huge flop and a end of nothing that they had him do it. Yeah, usual suspects was 95, at People's 98, and then X-Men was 2000. So it's off of usual suspects. I got to say, the saddest thing about it is I hadn't heard all the stories about this filming, but that makes me more concerned about Ian McKellan. Surrey and McKellen.

More concerned about what? Well, that Surrey and McKellen would have been okay with it. I mean, who knows? He was not involved in those scenes. He may not have been aware of it until afterwards. But I just want Gandalf to step in

and save the day as well I'm saying. Yes, I understand. My guess is that even McKellen was not aware of those things until after the film was made. Because he's not in any of those scenes. These were all, there was a scene where

that involved like a boys locker room. He did keep working with Brian Singer, though. That's true. He did start his Magneto. Yeah. Anyway, we're getting away from the rating thing. And then he played Freddie Mercury, right? Yes, he did.

On the, you know, purely on the movie itself and none of the other stuff I'm going four. Oh, wow. I liked him more than that. Really? That low. I'm going to say a seven. Because on the movie itself, I would say a seven also, yeah. Okay.

I mean, partly because Ian McKellen's performance is great in it. Yeah. That scene where he keeps, he makes him wear the uniform. And he starts saluting and stomping his. heels and the kids like, okay, stop, stop, and he won't stop doing it. That's a pretty intense scene. Yeah. But again, the man who made it's a monster, you know, no movie, even if it was a 10 out of 10,

justifies mistreatment of the people making the movie, you know. We have Dolores Claiborne next. Guys, I actually haven't seen Dolores Claybourne. Delores Claiborne? This is the first in this batch that I have not seen at all. Wow. You know, DeLores Claiborne is, it's okay. It's pretty good, but it's not that amazing.

You know, what do you think, Dan? It's like, it's a solid movie. Yeah, well, that's why I'm going to give it a five, but that's on the scale of like we've already called the bad movies, and now this is just levels of good. I'm going to give it a six because five still feels lowish to me. Okay. Next up is the Shawshank Redemption.

This is a big one, guys. Even if, look, even if this is not your favorite movie or whatever, it's still really good movie. I'm going to give this a, I'm going to, on the left, on the scale of Stephen King movies, I'm giving it a 10. It is not a 10 movie compared to other greatest movies,

but I think when it comes to Stephen King movies, I think this is, especially for a non-horror one, this is about as good as a guest. On some level, this movie is undeniable in that way. Like, this is a part of, it has become part of culture. It has been, and it has received a certain amount of backlash,

not unlike, say, Forrest Gump, for instance. I would say it is less deserving of it as than Forrest Gump. That's the thing. I think there's a, there was such a, I'm going to be a part of the backlash to the backlash, because I feel like, I think it's a really good movie. Does it deserve to be, for years it was number one on the IMDB top 250 movies? Of course not.

Of course it does. It's not even in the top, I don't think it would be even be in the top 250 movies. It should just be in the top, like, top movie that a dad will stop if he sees it on TV, stand next to the couch and watch the rest of the movie. I mean, it's the number one of those for sure. I mean, like, I'm just going to, my feeling is like it is the epitome of like really beautifully, solidly crafted, old fashioned, like a movie that's going to make you feel things.

You're going to be engrossed by it. But it doesn't, like, touched with genius or anything. No, I would say, I'm going to give it an eight. Okay. I think, I think there, you can, I'm going to give it a 10 if only because I think even a movie that's, that is that craftsman like and just does the job. Yeah. is something that can be wonderful, you know?

But it's also me making a statement that, like, we don't have to shit on it because idiots think it's a great movie. Sometimes idiots are right occasionally. Yeah. Yes. I'm going to give it an aid as well. And part of that is because I feel like a lot of what makes this movie click, I feel like was kind of adopted from Stand By Me,

that somebody that the filmmakers were like, I want to take, like, Stephen King is. latched onto this, I'm going to do basically the same thing, and I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Still very high score on this one. We got the dark half. Timothy Hutton.

Timothy Hutton's in it guys. Plain two parts. It's like not as good as it should be. It's still pretty fun. It should be a better movie. I'm going to give it a five. I'm giving it a four. Okay, I'm going to give it a five also. Misery.

We got Jimmy Con. We got Kathy Bates. I like misery a lot. It never, like, clicked for me the way, like, some people really love misery, so I'm going to give it a seven. But I think it's... I think it's because you have never loved a creator so much that if you had them, you would capture them and chop their feet on. It's true. I have never felt that way.

Must be nice. I'm going to give it an eight. I think it's really good. But at times, I wish it was a little... At times, I wish it was a little scarier, you know? But having been on both sides of that, having been a rabid fan and also having had people, I cannot shake,

I think it's really good. So I'm going to call it an eight. So what was your thing? I've seen clouds from both sides now. Seven. I am also going to give it a seven. Tales from the Dark Side, the movie. I don't think I ever saw this.

I think I've only ever seen the TV show. I mean, only one section of it is a Stephen King. Okay, but that section does feature Buster Point Extra. True, and William Hickey. And William Hickey, two stars of the silver screen. They are. They are at that. I mean, and Buster Point Xter is also a star of the rock and roll stage, you know.

Yeah. He was a hot, hot stuff. A real New York doll. He's a real, he is literally a real New York doll. I remember our mutual friend, Devin Coleman, either tweeting or something about like, he was like, holy shit, I just learned Buster Point Exter was not a real person. I'm going to give this one a four.

I'm going to give it a four, too. I like it a little bit more than that, but it's not really a Stephen King movie, I feel like. I do like Bill Hickey, though. I'll watch us by anything he's in, so maybe I'll have to watch it. And I like our college, Earlham friend, Bill Hakey.

Yep. I mean, he's an adult now, but he went to college. I'm just saying, wow, we know him. Not as much of an adult as William Hakey. Bill Hickey, the actor, who was old since he was born. Yeah. What's crazy about Bill Hickey? So he was only 70 when he died.

He seemed like he was 85 years old for most of his life. Yes. Yes. It's astonishing. Yeah. The raspiest man in Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah.

Him and Tom Cruise. Same type of guy, you know. Same age. Same age. Okay, so we got Pet Cemetery. This movie, of course, was inspired by the hits. song by the Ramones. That was written for Pet Cemetery too.

Well, that was something. There was a big rights battle between the Ramones and the Pet Cemetery people, so they didn't settle it until the second movie. I'm not sure how good this movie is in certain ways, but in other ways, like, it is one of the most, like, straight up scary of the Stephen King movie, so I'm going to give it a six. Yeah.

I remember as a kid renting it and being, like, viscerally horrified by large chunks of it. I think I'm also going to give it a six, yeah. Six, six, six. Okay. Oh, no. The original The Running Man, starring our boy Arnold Schwarzenegger.

This is a movie. If you had asked me when I was a younger man, I would have been like four, but now I really appreciate this kind of stuff much more. And I think I might give this one a seven guys. Like, it is not amazing as an action movie. It's not amazing as a story, but it's the kind of satire that is hitting you so hard in the face that like it just gleefully being like, get it, you get the point we're making, you understand it, right?

And I really appreciate that. Guys, I'm going to give it an eight, if only because it has some of the craziest, dumbest one-liners. It's like, it's incredible. Like, it's almost like you couldn't replicate it. And clearly, Edgar, right. I kind of hate to be the spoiler here, but I cannot let this stand. I'm going to give it a five. Cannot let it stand.

Staking reference. I think Richard Dawson's so fun in it. Come on. He's great. The idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the every man who's caught up in the situation. You're just mad that it doesn't have the original ending from the book where he at one point, he has to make his way up to a cockpit of a plane, but his intestines are hanging out and they get snagged on the seats. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Do they do that in the new one or no? They get closer to it. They get closer to it. But it's enough where you're like, come on. You know, Werner Herzog was watching, and was like, you are a coward. What is the point of making an adaptation of the running man without having his guts hanging out and being snagged on by the airplane seat?

Guys, speaking of Werner Herzog. He's me, Berner Herzog. Guys, speaking of Werner Herzog, I keep seeing the ads for the new Star Wars movie, The Mandelorn and Grogu. Who the fuck's Grogu? He's always hanging out with Baby Yoda. Why isn't Baby Yoda in the title?

Oh, Stuart. I feel like that is the true cowardice of the Star Wars universes. They weren't just like, let's just call him Baby Yoda. If they called him Baby Yoda, I'd be like, right there. I know that's not his fucking name, but his name should be Baby Yoda. It's funny. It would be way funnier. You're right.

Instead of the more dignified Grogoo. Thank you. Okay. For a while, I thought it was called the Mandalorian and Gogh. And I was like, when you're wearing a helmet, you got to be able to squeeze something through the slot. Yeah. And if anyone ever calls a baby O to the child, I immediately stop paying attention to them. They have lost all credibility in my eyes.

Okay, so we have creep show two, guys. I got to say I'm giving an a nine. What? Okay, well. No, I'll give it an eight, Dan. I know that the first section sucks. Yeah, the one with the drugstore. Yes, I know that sucks.

Yeah. But the raft is good. And again, my mom is. insisted that I watch this movie. She's like, this last section with the hitchhiker is so funny. I can't even remember it. What happens? It's like a woman is like racing home after cheating on her husband and she like hits a homeless

guy on the road and then she leaves him and then she keeps driving and then he shows up again. She hits him again. And he keeps like haunting her and he keeps saying thanks for the ride lady. and my mom is like, that's so funny. And I'm watching it as a kid. I'm like, this is the worst thing I've ever seen, Mom. Why do you make it watch this? Well, I love how much you,

is a treasured memory of your mother, but other than the raft, nothing is memorable, but this movie to me, so I'm going to give it a four. Okay. I'm going to give it a three. Ooh, wow. Okay, well, it's still hanging in there.

It's still about the tales from the dark side of the movie. Just because there's beef between me and Stewart's mom. Yeah, that's fine. Shelly knows what she did. Okay. Next is, here's a big one, stand by me, which I recently rewatched when Rob Ryan. How did it hold up on rewatch? Because I haven't watched this in years.

I haven't seen it in a long time. It's really good. Okay. Yeah, this, I mean, this, I wouldn't have made the connection, but this for me is hitting the, like, Stephen King, like, note that Shawshank comes very, very close to, but doesn't quite do as well for me. Like, I would give this a nine. I like this one a lot.

I'm going to give it a, you know, I haven't watched it in years. I'm going to give it a 10 also because. it was such a big movie for me and my family when I was a kid. We watched all the time and it was like watching a movie that felt like it was for a kid, but it felt like the movie equivalent of the kids saying, do you want to go see a dead body of the train tracks? Yeah. I'm going to show you something adults don't want you to see,

but it's still, it's a rite of passage. So, you know, I'll give it a 10 also. I'll be generous. I'll be generous in this episode. Yeah, I'm going to give this one a nine because it's exactly. I think you put it perfectly into words, Ellie. It is this feeling of like, this is a story for kids that is adult in a lot of ways, not the least of which is that it doesn't have some kind of clear, like, perfect resolution.

Yeah, there's no, yeah, there's, I remember watching it and being like, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling about what, what happened with those kids or what they learned. And also, I don't think I've ever fully understood the meaning of the whole barf story, but I love it. Come on, they're all throwing up all over each other, come on. The, and the, and the, the, it was. really captures one of the things that I like about Stephen King's stories, which is that teenagers are terrifying. Like teenagers, mainly teenage boys, are like sociopaths that like... I'm going to push us through this round because we have another recording coming up that...

Okay, we're almost... I will just say one last thing about is that in Dream Catcher, there's that scene where they're teens and they like go up against those teen bullies. And I'm like, this all feels so fake. And stand by me, you're right to it. It has that kind of scene, but it feels real. Like, it feels dangerous. These kids are in trouble.

Because it's got a key for in it. We got Christine, Christine, Dan. Five. I'm going to give it a five also. I've actually never seen Christine. Wow. The Dead Zone. Oh, man.

Mainly what I like about it is that it is predicted that a presidential candidate, if he's shitty enough, will not get elected. Yeah. And will then kill himself, yeah, out of shame. This is a 10 for me. He does hold up a baby to block an assassin's bullet. So, I mean, it's pretty bad what he did. Yeah, I'm going to give that a 10 also.

If you're going to ask me, again, against all movies in the... I'm giving it a 9. It's really good. Against all movies in the world, I'd probably give it an 8. But against Stephen King movies, it gets a 10. Original creep show. Not entirely consistent. Like, and like it has its flaws, but it's so...

Such a loving homage to what it is. I'm going to give it an eight. I'm going to give it, I think, a six. I've never really liked it that much, to be honest. It's okay. I agree with Dan that it's such a clear loving homage to that sort of thing. And I love the little animated comic book pages and shit. Sure, that's fun.

Okay, the Shining. One, just kidding. Wow. I'm going to give that a 10 also. That's a super scary movie. That's one of the few movies on this list where I'm like, oh, I find it genuinely frightening when I watch it.

Like, I'm actually scared by it. I'll give it a 10 as well. Most of Stephen King movies, I'm like, it's getting times across the board. Tens. Tens across the board.

We don't have to be iconoclasts. It's okay for us to say that the Stanley Kubrick movie is a great movie. Like, we don't have to be the guys who are like, actually, it's not that good. And finally, we have Kerry. Just a notch below for me. It's a nine. Like it doesn't...

I mean, I think this is maybe just like the story rather than other than the iconic ending. There's nothing in it that like really scares me, but it's so like sweeping and well made. Yeah, I'm going to give it a nine just because I think it is on purpose, but the middle section of that movie you could call high school memories and just run it as it is. But it is and it goes on a little long for me,

but it's the scare scenes especially work so well. And that ending scene, I know exactly what's going to happen. And I jump every time because he takes so long for her arm to come out of that grave that I'm like, I know it's going to happen. It's going to happen now. Oh, it didn't happen yet. Oh, it just happened. Yeah.

And that's like it's like the gold standard for that. Yes. Yes, exactly. I got to give it a nine for that exact same reason. Okay. So this is it. We got our top 10. I'm going to read them in descending order because I don't want to try and mess around here.

So our number one here. We wouldn't want to mess around and put them in a sending order. I just can't, like, don't make me do math. Extra math here. Okay. So our number one is The Shining, of course. It's great. Our second place is the Dead Zone.

No huge surprise. Very good. Now. Third is Stand by Me. Yep. Again, no surprises on the list. The scariest of the movies. Being a kid.

Because it could happen. Carrie is number four. We go down to Shawshank at number five. Kind of a surprise that it's so low, but that's still a very respectable placement. But that top four, that top four is a pretty strong top four. It's out of what, 80 movies that really started originally. Yeah, it is in the top five out of like 75 or 80 movies.

We have a tie for sixth place. And I'm going to say, yeah, I think it's an even step. Stephen Ty is Misery and Creep Show, both at six. Very similar movies. Yeah, the tone is... Both about writing.

So, eighth place would then be... Both about storytelling. Yep. Eighth place would be down to... It looks like we have another tie between the Running Man and Gerald's game. Much higher than I expected for both of them to be. Yes, but they're both...

I think they're both very strong additions to the catalog. Once you see how much crap is in the Stephen King adaptation filmography, you get less surprised. And then weirdly how many children's of the corn there are? And then it looks like this one kind of... This one's kind of a... You got enough kids, right? This one's a recent edition that is brought up largely is exclusively because of Dan and Stuart, because Elliot hasn't seen it, is the monkey, the Oz Perkins movie.

A movie that many was not particularly well liked. Many people dismissed it. But, yeah, I was with Stewart. It was like his birthday movie. It was my birthday movie. We were, as Stuart likes to say, hoot and holler. And I imagine, Dan, that you walked out of that movie and turned to it and you said,

that was Osgrate Perkins. Well, the thing is, I think he, Dan said that, and I was, again, ancient and ancient. But the thing about Osgood Perkins movies is that I feel like all of his, movies, you have to accept that it's operating on some level of, like, kind of dream logic. And I feel like by leaning into the, like, the wackiness, it, uh, and the, like, dark comedy of it, I think it, it really worked for me.

Also, any movie, any way that they make Theo G and James not, like, they expressly try to make him not sexy, I found very funny because he's a very sexy man. I've got to watch. Only Osgood Perkins movie I've seen is long legs, which. which I thought was, okay. But again, operates like, I think it works best when you're like, it's like, this is, does this make sense? Okay, so that was lovely, guys.

So we have crowned a winner in our Stephen King. Wow. Top ten, of course, that is, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. And again, let us let you know that under no circumstance, no movie, no movie is so good that it encourages you to mistreat your cast and or crew. I mean, that's true. We talked about that with that pupil. The Shining was another example of mistreatment of cast.

That's true. That's something we shouldn't gloss over. But you're right, it does not justify. The movie being so scary does not justify Shelley DeVall being treated horribly on the set of that movie. By most accounts, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So that was a mini for The Flop House. This is a show on Max Fun. Thank you so much for supporting us. And if you want to listen to great shows, like this one. You can go over to maximum fun.org. And this show has been produced and edited lovingly by Howell Dottie,

aka Alex Smith. He's the best. And for the Flop House, I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliot Spooky Kalen. Does that guy, does that work as my new nickname for, it's not Halloween time, but I still call me a lot of them.

Yeah, this is Elliot King. Well, joining you for this. Stuart Langelier. And, And Daniel Kierk McCoy Or Daniel McKing? It's Daniel McCujo.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. All right. Bye. Bye. How are my levels? I'm sitting slightly further away. No, I cranked you up a little bit

to, I hope, compensate. I'll put it up just a hair more too. I've been, right, now that I'm married, I'd love to get my crank a yanked. It's a little. Little Rodney Dangerfield. Just a little.

That's like a T-Londi-L baby version. Yeah, that's Rodney Dangerish. I mean, aim higher. That's a danger field and more caution. Yeah. Let's not married. I'm what a hand job. More of a danger patch.

No that I'm married, I'd like somebody to be nice to me for a change. Being married, I don't get a lot of affection or sex from my wife. Rodney, no subtext, danger. Yeah. Okay, guys. Hey, I get no respect. People don't respect me. I have a deficit of respect.

My actions are not met with approbation or dignity. Wow, he's very well spoken at this point in his career. This is Rodney Samuel Johnson. Well, this is after he went back to school. He did go back to school. Hey, I got a slightly more respect

ever since I got my degree. It's too bad we don't have outtakes on these ones. You could put one in, Alex. If you love the stuff. You can do whatever we want. Stick it on the other thing. Stick it on the other thing. I asked my wife what I should do.

She said, stick it on the other thing. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By you.