The Flop House - FH Mini 156 - The Peach Pit, with Hallie!

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

Stuart brings back the world's most popular Flop House after-show, hosted by one of the hosts of The Flop House, and this time Hallie's here (her presence makes more sense when you realize that we taped next week's full episode with her first, but this one was the first to release). This time, Stu asks The Flop House gang about their experiences with live shows, with some diversions into Dan, Elliott, and Hallie's tenure as writers for The Daily Show! Tickets for FLOP TV SEASON FOUR are now live! Go pick up a pass for individual episodes or the whole dang season! And if you live in the Louisville area and want to see us live NOT through your computer screen, come to our show at Whirling Tiger in September! Subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! It’s the best way to keep up on all things Flop House! Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

Hey everybody and welcome back to the Peach Pit. That's right, your number one destination for post-show commentary on everyone's favorite, at least top five favorite, bad movie podcast, The Flop House. I'm your host, Stuart Wellington, and I have some great guests here today. Three guests coming in to talk about your favorite show and mine, The Flop House. That's right. I'm going to be joined today by Dan McCoy, Elliot K. and Hallie Hagland. Hey guys,

thanks so much for joining me. Thanks for this always unexpected trip into the beach pit. Unexpected. I sent, I did send an email to your publicists and your email. Oh, that's your problem, Stuart.

I'm dead in Hollywood. Yeah, the email I sent was to Dan McCoy and Elliot with one T and Halley with like 17. L's? Yeah, yes, those are the wrong ones. It's only 16. Yeah. Well, so I sent

a bunch of questions over to you guys. Dan, it's true. Dan's career is over. He can't get arrested in this town, which is too bad since he's the Black Dahlia killer. You'd think I was too young, but... No, no. So, have you been on the Peach Pit before? I mean, I've been

on the after show. Is that the same thing? This is... I think this is the after show of maybe... I think you're on the after show of the Peach Pit maybe? I don't remember. So the Peach Pit is, of course, the way they hang out on Beverly Hills Nine or two or no.

Exactly. I know that. This is one of the many reoccurring mini themes for the Flop House podcast. This is the Peach Pit, which is a sub-show hosted by me, Stuart Wellington. I'm also one of the hosts of the Flop House. It gets confusing sometimes.

So what we talk about here is we talk about aspects of the Flop House podcast and shed a little more light on those aspects for our listeners. So one of the things we're talking about this week is flop TV. You guys begged me to come on the peach pit to talk about flop TV. Can you tell me what that's all about, Dan? We bet you.

It's going on your own show. You're the host. We could say flop TV is the one-hour internet video live broadcast version of the show. And we're about to have season four this September. just a month will be starting. And so it's the first Saturday of each month and goes from Saturday through February. And it's like watching...

Saturday through February. Sorry, September through February. Thank you. And it's just like the Flop House, but you can watch it and the episodes are a little shorter. Yeah, if you go to the Flophouse. That's T-I-X.com, you can get tickets for the whole season.

If that's the sort of thing you're into. So... If you like us pivoting to video, this is the way to go. So, yes, so pivoting to video, what was the inspiration for doing a series of virtual live shows, Elliot? Well, I think we were,

I think there were two inspirations. One was looking for new ways to kind of express the flop house style to do flop house things together, and the other was looking for new ways to make money off of the flop house. Yeah, I think a big part of it was, I think it started during the writer's strike,

and so it was sort of like, oh, how can we extend this? How can we do something during the strike? You know, and that has continued to be, you know, sort of like a personal strike for me. An uncalled strike. Uncalled strike. A strike that the industry, again, has called against me.

But Elliot, you know. You're what they call an in-sell, involuntary cell a bit from work. Yeah, whereas Elliot has too much work. He is... Oh, boy, I should really spread the wealth. Instead, I'm sucking it all up for myself. shoving it at my greedy maw. But I think one of the things also speaking about flop TV

is that there's something working in television, which is collapsing currently, and it's harder and harder to make things. It was very exciting for us to be able to do something that we didn't need permission from anybody. We could just do it. Once we decided between the three of us to put out a six-episode video version of the show

where we have presentations and we have video segments, things like that, we could just do it. We didn't need anyone's permission. So we decided to do it. We grinded it ourselves. Oh, no, you guys have always told me that the best part about making TV is all the layers of bosses you get to deal with. Yeah, exactly.

You're in Miss Hunter. What's what I said was the best part of-the-best part of-the-best part of-keeping-up. Actually, you misheard what I said was the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup. And I stand by that. Your athletic cup is what you're talking about. I take Foldger coffee grounds, pour them into my jockstrap, and I just walk around all day. And then there's a rich, smooth smell that comes from here. I find the caffeine gets into my blood better when I absorb it through my scrotum.

Yeah. And it keeps werewolves away. It sure does. None of them approached me. Never seen a werewolf. I've never seen one in my life. Yeah. Yet to encounter one so you know that the coffee in my underpants is doing the job.

Is that what Captain Underpants is about? Yeah, that is the Captain Underpants about, Dan. I think it's about a superhero who wears underpants, right? I think that's more for children. Do children like underpants guys? Dan and I can be exempt from answering as well. Children do like underpants guys, yeah. Except they don't really like it when you call it underpants.

My children don't. No, they think it sounds babyish, right? Yeah, but I still do it. They like to call it under their pants. They like to call it panties, yeah. Gross. They like to call it a night cliché. They can't spell it.

They like to say it. Mommy, give me my negligent. I'll put on my necklace. Mommy, you're four years old. You can put on your own negligent. Have you seen? There was a billboard I drove by the other day that just said panties in big letters. I was like, you want.

Did you forget yours? Yeah, Elliot crashes his car, climbs out of the steaming wreck of his vehicle. It's like, somebody answered the billboard. He was like, oh no, oh, wait, that's just my coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah. He didn't poop in his pants. No, no. No, but my poop is like coffee grounds, yeah.

So the, so far to me, what are we talking about today's too? Why have a lot of questions? And I should say my poop is like coffee grounds because I'm a sipping. I feed myself coffee beans and then I poop them out and then sell them, yeah? You're like a bat, right? Isn't that, are coffee beans? Like, bat, is there some, there's some intersection between bat guano and coffee beans? I mean, back guano is a great fertilizer, but I don't know that.

Yes, what is it? A civet. A civet. Yeah, it's a divot. It's like a cat. It's a type of cat. And then they get it out of the cat shit. Now, the argument is that.

Well, what is the bat involved? You introduce the bat. Nobody else has mentioned that. But the thing about the cat, the argument is whether or not the enzymes within the cat's stomach is what makes those coffee beans. taste better or if it's just a selection process that the cats are going to be eating the best beans. You need the bat to catch the cat that swallow the beans.

Wait, but does the bat, does the cat chew up the beans or they just don't? They just swallow them, I think. Yeah. It passes through their system, yeah. Uh-huh. Why don't they chew? And then you got that rich cat flavor. How often have you drank coffee and said, needs more cat?

I don't know. Do cats have, like, do they have, like, do they have, like, good grinding teeth? Did we... No, I don't. I think their teeth are for tearing. Certainly don't. Archie had to have several of these people.

So how do you pick the movies for flop TV? I just want to mention... I was to say one person did drink some coffee and say needs more cat. And that was, of course, Alf, Gordon Shumway. That's true. Continued to... I'm going to look up this bat coffee thing. Thank you.

I'll be back. So how do you pick the movies for flop TV? I feel like the first season we had a collection of regular mentions. Do you want me to go down the list? here. Sure. We have movies like Beast Master 2. Cool World.

Hot dog and... Hot Dog the movie and Hamburger the Motion Picture. That was our meat double feature. Yeah. Yeah. Over the top, Ballistic X versus Sever and finally Nuki. Now, Halley, have you seen any of these six movies?

She was looking up cats, I think. The best tasting coffee might be the one that Bats got to first. This is from Food and Wine magazine. So coffee seems like it's a little out of their purview. Tom Colicchio must have written it. I hadn't heard that bats had gotten into the game, too. Yeah, yeah, they saw how good things were for the cats. And they were like, we got to get in on that action.

What's good for the cat is good for the bat. As the old saying goes. So these first movies were mainly, were they just regular mentions on the show, favorite theme. They were movies that we had mentioned a lot on the show in a joke setting. And it was like, you know what, let's finally dig into these movies. Now, of those six movies. Yeah, so we had Beast Master 2, Cool World, Hot Dog, the Movie, and Hamburger the Motion Picture, Over the Top, Ballistic X versus Sever and Nuke.

Now, watching any of them again, were any of them surprises? Did you like them? Are you like, I shouldn't have mentioned this so many fucking times? I mean, I think that in terms of enjoyment, we start. We peaked early with Beast Master 2, if I recall, for that season at least. Yeah. I think I like Cool World the most, though. Yeah?

I think, I mean... But I'm also dumb. No, no, you're not dumb, you're just gross. Yeah, thank you. I definitely have enough action that way. Yeah, you're just that. That Cormac McCarthy twisted feel. I have an affection for a cool world, but it's a really abrasive movie.

I find it genuinely unpleasant to watch. But on the other hand... But your kids loved it. But they loved. They thought it was great. I think the... I mean, having said that, just showed my younger son, Who Framed Roger Rabbit the other day. Big success.

Very similar movies. Yeah. So, I mean, they hoped they were. The... I think, but the one I found the most unpleasant was Hamburger the Motion Picture. and I was not ready for how noxious I was going to find that movie. But I think I do enjoy Beast Master 2

the most of all of them. Can you paint a picture of Hamburger the Motion Picture? Because I'm assuming Halley is not familiar with it. Howley, you've never seen Hamburger in the Motion Picture? I don't even know why I'm here. Hamburger the Motion Picture is a not quite TNA comedy where it's like a bunch of people who are all kind of weird. TNA, like tits and ass.

Yes, like all kinds of silly losers. That's the T&A that we're talking. They go to a university that's going to teach them how to work at a fast food chain. And they're all kind of... So it's like almost a college comedy and not quite. But then there's them taking over the restaurant and there's a lot of kind of like racist jokes, misogynist jokes. It's just not a fun movie. And this is not an animated movie.

This is a live action movie. One of the big name stars was Dick Butkiss, right, from, you know, the famous football coach. You could have been animated. He could have been. He could have. He could have been. He could have been like Sergeant Slaughter, both, like, you know, live action and animated, you know.

I have to say, I mean, it's embarrassing. I went, I found myself, YouTube was, YouTube was feeding myself back to me. Like it was like suggesting. Like a human centipede with one person. Yeah. You were sewed to your own asses? Yeah.

I mean, I certainly went up my own asshole. That's in Roeuro Burroughs. Yeah. I was, I was fed. Or a nobos. Don't go there. Is that why the snake is eating his own tail? Because a German scientist sewed his mouth to his ass?

I mean, that's how I describe the tattoo I have of that over my asshole. Oh, no. That would hurt. Yeah. I watched the, I worked it. I was watching some old flop TV, is what I'm saying. Like, they appeared in my feet. I was watching some of them.

and I really enjoyed watching myself explaining hot chili to you. The third meat-themed T&A comedy that we didn't do that I'm like, I discovered in the course of doing my presentation that it existed. It sounded worse than Hank River. Yeah. It was a fun time. I enjoyed it. No, you mentioned presentations.

Powerpoints are a big deal. A big part of the flopting. They're a big deal. Everyone's doing to be able to do. Now, why did you land on doing PowerPoints for live shows and for virtual shows? What do you like about PowerPoint so much, Dan? Well, we have been doing the Flop House for a long time. I think it'll be 19 years in...

19 years. Yeah, very soon, actually, in a couple weeks, actually, I think our birthday from recording. Look, how much older we all are. Yeah. I know. I'd rather not. 19 years older. Hallie was saying.

I kind of forgot the exact date since tomorrow is record this is my son's birthday and a week after that is my wife's birthday. But no, yeah, I should remember when the podcast's birthday is. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the podcast is older than your kid. I have it on my calendar. And my wife? Just for posterity.

We've got a real... Jared Lennel over here. Just for posterity, I have it on my calendar. It's like in... mid-August sometime. So this probably will have... 14th, I think. Yeah.

So this will probably have aired after that. Yeah, yeah. Or before? So everybody... Anyway. The podcast is officially 19 years old, not 18.

Okay. Anyway. Take down the counter you had on your website until when the podcast is legal, you know. This was meant to be a setup to the answer

that I was giving, which we got into the podcast game early. And we also got into the doing a live podcast show pretty early on. And when I, when we were putting together the show, I was always like, we've got to do something to make it worth people coming out to seeing a live show to give them something that they can't get just listening to the show. Something, some new technology. Yeah, like PowerPoint.

No, but something visual that is different than just like, three guys sitting at a table talking. Which is most of the show. Live podcast shows that are just three guys sitting at table talking. Make money. People come to them. But I was like, no one's going to be interested in this. So that's why we started doing presentations.

Let's not forget that there was a period in the New York comedy scene at least. I don't know if it's elsewhere. When PowerPoint presentations were suddenly very popular. Like a lot of comedy people were doing comedy PowerPoint presentations. and it seemed like a really fun way to like add something. So you weren't just doing stand-up or you weren't just doing a monologue. And so we glommed onto that.

I thought there would be a resurgence of salons. There wasn't. Yeah. I would say, you know what I love about your PowerPoints, boys? Please tell. I mean, I just, I love the work he put into it, you know. I find it very obnoxious, especially. when it's three men on a podcast

and you're like, oh, you just rolled in, you're just riffing. Didn't even fix your hair. Yeah, didn't dress up. Yeah. I appreciate that you show your work. If you're going to, if you're going to a podcast show

and it's three men and they don't do a PowerPoint presentation, that's a deal breaker ladies. Mm-hmm. Yep, red flag. He's not going to do, if he's not going to do a PowerPoint for his podcast, he ain't doing one for you, ladies. Mm-hmm.

I feel like you've been like slow launching this social media persona where you give relationship advice. Some of the stuff you do in bed, you could call PowerPoint. Oh, God. Not the way I'm doing it, ladies. Gentle pointing. I mean, there was that... Gentle powerpointing, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, there was that one PowerPoint. I did that one PowerPoint that was just pictures of my friends' cats, and I basically just was like, can you see that? And I could look over and see Dan getting increasingly and more annoyed. That's how little work I put in my fast point. He's like looking at his like reams of notes he had written.

Careful stage directions for how he was supposed to... All his research. All his lighting instructions for the different gels and spotlight. I watched all hot chili. So the second season of Flop TV was all sequels. There were six sequels select. No squeakwls. No squeakwls.

There was Robocop 2, Bracon 2, Caddyshack 2, Highlander 2, Ski School 2, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too, The Secret of the U's. Is there a sequel you feel you missed? Is there a sequel movie that you think is worse than those six? Oh, man. This is like a good question that would actually require some thought, so I don't have an answer to it.

I wrote these questions and sent them all to your inboxes. Okay. As we've already established, you sent them to the first. wrong inboxes. Oh, right, right, right. Let me do some quick... As was established by an earlier bit. So the idea was that it had to...

Oh, yeah, wait, that's the idea of the podcast. Bad sequels. Bad part two. Bad sequels. Bad sequels. Do you think there's a good sequel we should have talked about? Aliens, perhaps. I mean, we were...

Well, I wish we could have talked about, like, Rocky Four. What about Godfather, too? The worst one. The worst one. The worst one. interesting. We were keeping ourselves to number twos, like direct sequels.

Yeah. You know what? Usually we pee on camera, but for that one, we poop on camera. I will say, we could have done speed two. We'd already done a live show about that.

I can't. I couldn't poop on camera. I'd get so much stage fright. You don't have to, I'd have to really save it up for a long time, so you'd have to do it. Yeah. You're not going to name them.

I'm not going to name names. There were no names. That's on their resume. There was a cup and those two girls, and they did it. Yeah, I mean, at that point, it got popular enough. I mean, you'd want to put that on your LinkedIn, right? You'd want to. You'd want to.

But the thing is anyone could put it on their LinkedIn. How do you prove it? That's the thing. Sure. Anyway. I was, so I've done. First sequels. If we hadn't been doing that, we could have done like Star Trek 5.

Sorry, you were saying Speed 2, Elliot. But we did it for a live show of Speed 2. Also, Son of the Mask is one that we didn't do. Oh, that's because it didn't have a two in the title, but that could have been one that we did also. What about Five Will Goes West? Dumb and Dumberer. I mean, Five Will Goes West.

I saw Five Will Goes West again a few years ago, and I'm like, this is a zanier movie that I remember it being from when I was a kid. It also doesn't have a two in it. No, it has a five in it. If you're going to sneak a two, if you're going to sneak a two in the, I mean, some of the mask, it's easy.

You swap that, the S. Tune of the mask. Yeah. Or I was going to say the S and mask. Son of the Matook. All right. But where would you sneak it into Fyneville goes west? Fyville 2's west?

No, the S in West. Fyville. I got it, I got it. Okay. Fival dose. West. Oh, yeah. Because it's one of the Southwest. It's two Spanish fans there.

Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. It was Mexican land originally. you know. I mean, originally it was not Mexico. Anyway, never mind. Is that weird? I've actually never seen animals.

It's not. It's all right. Everything used to be dinosaurs. It's all dinosaurs, right? But even dinosaurs, there were other things before dinosaurs. I mean, just to give you a serious answer, the continents were placed in a different way, and a lot of our current land was underwater,

so it doesn't quite map exactly right. Do you ever feel like with a little talking about panchia, this guy? Orpon do you want to land? Parents have little kids, do you guys? Do you guys just have a bunch of dinosaur facts that you can rattle off? Or do you, like, have dinosaurs and little kids. That's why Elliot has a lot of dino facts. Thank you, Dan.

That was exactly the point I was going to make. My children have very little interest in dinosaurs, which terrifies me. I don't like it. What's happening to the younger generation? Mine has a lot of interest in dinosaurs. Dinosaurs, bugs, you know, sea creatures. And you're very athletic. And my son is very athletic, and I'm not.

We should swap children. Okay. Yeah. My children are also really interested. Well, we've had to limit it, but this is funny, I promise. They've started to watch... Unlike the rest of the show, which is hilarious. They started watching these YouTube bug videos, and then somehow we weren't paying close enough attention,

and it just started cycling into these videos of, like, this guy who, like, buys all these weird animals on the dark web. And now my four-year-old keeps coming up to me crying of, like, please, can we go on the dark web? Oh, no. It's all just beautiful insects on the dark web. Yeah. I would love it if that was the kind of stuff my kids were watching on YouTube. Instead, it's all either Minecraft videos or my son goes to a friend's house and they watch the amazing digital circus.

I'm like, I don't want him watching that. When we last visited. They used that language on that. Oh, is that the like Poppy's Playtime thing? Similar, I think. Because I actually is into that, but I won't let him watch it. Ellie, when we last visited, Gabriel was watching cute animal videos with Audrey. And then, like, when Audrey left, he, like, hugged her leg.

He was like, remember the cute animal videos or something like that. He wanted to make sure that she would watch them by herself at home as well. That sounds like... I mean, he does still watch cute animal videos. Right now, I mean, the big news in our house is that they just had a baby tapeer born at the Fresno Zoo. And so he's following this baby tape ear on Instagram. and we will eventually be taking a road trip to Fresno to see this baby tapir when it is on display at the zoo.

You guys just wanted to talk about our kids the whole time, right? Yeah, yeah. So adults who don't have children, they love to hear about other adults' children. You guys want to know, yeah. And also, I feel like this experience is going to teach your son a lot about parisocial relationships when he's been following this tape here,

and then he meets him and tape here doesn't give a shit. Yeah, exactly. He knows all about the taper. I watch you all the time. Yeah, yeah, great kid, great kid. Anyway, I'm trying to use my weird trunk to pick up some leaves. Anyway. Is that a functional appendage?

Very much so. Very much so. It is a functional prehensile nose. While it does not have the strength or length of an elephant trunk, it can be used to pick up some things or bring things closer to the mouth. Can it smell? And it can smell, yes. It smells terrible.

I was just talking to, Gabriel and I had been to the LA Zoo just a couple weekends ago. We saw the orangutan baby who's there. It was adorable. And we were talking about how strange it would be if your nose was also your main hand, as it is for tapirs and elephants. Unlike with us where it's like the third or fourth most important hand we have. Yeah. I mean, you can't pick up that much, one all of at a time. A lot of cocaine.

Yeah, you can pick up a lot of cocaine. Your hands, it's actually a better hand for picking up cocaine than your actual hands, you know. Yeah, that just falls through your finger. Yeah. Yeah. just look like that raccoon who accidentally put its cotton candy in a puddle. Yeah. So this has been

really lovely, guys. We're going to take a quick break. Will you stay with me when we return from this message from our sponsors? I guess so. Okay. Say, what's the trivia show where dreams come true? It's got to be, go fact yourself. Legend in the house.

We quiz celebrity contestants about topics they love. Then bring out surprise experts. To delight and amaze. And then finally tell us why you know and love the lyrics to the song, Knocking Boots by Candyman. Joining us tonight is a rapper and producer. It's Candyman! This is among the greatest moments of my life.

This is one of mine, too. I love it. That's go fact to yourself. Twice a month, every month. Here on Maximum Fun. International Waters is back, baby. Do you like fun, silly conversations? Do you like fun, silly games? We got them both.

And it's on International Waters. I am the host, Dave Holmes. This is a panel show that pits American and British comics against each other in a lively and hilarious competition. What is gentlemen's relish? Who is bagpuss? Why is the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile so emotionally resonant? And why doesn't American cheese have its own anthem? Get the answers and be left with numerous questions about that and so much more nonsense and or codswallop twice a month.

Here on International Waters. You can catch international waters on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. The flop house is sponsored in part by Factor. Hey, you know, you got a lot of stuff to do. Sometimes it's hard to, you know, make a meal for yourself. You're like, oh, this should be an easy thing to do, feed myself. But you've got to do it every day, three times a day. It gets a lot.

And during the summer, I know I've been traveling. My co-hosts have been traveling. it's harder and even if you're not traveling sometimes you're just tired you ever get tired oh boy who boy do I get tired I'm tired right now are you filibustering what is going on

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terms and conditions. Oh, they apply. Flop House listeners, I know you like listening to us, but how about seeing us, smelling us in real time, having us in the room with you? Well, you can make that happen

September 18th. That's a Friday night. 8 p.m. We are going to be in Louisville, Kentucky. That's right, at the whirling tiger in Louisville, Kentucky. We're going to be doing a live show. We haven't done a live show in a while,

and we are raring to go. It's going to be very exciting. We're going to have a special guest. That's right. Our own Howell Doughty, producer Alex Smith, is going to be there with us. He's going to be at the show as our special guest, and we're going to be talking about glitter

starring Mariah Carey. So that's us live at the Rolling Tiger in Louisville, Kentucky. September 18th, go to Flophousepodcast.com slash events for more information and how to get tickets. I think you should go. It's going to be really fun. It's going to be a really good show. But let's say you can't make it to Louisville, Kentucky.

And let's say you still want to see our beautiful faces while we are telling jokes and talking about movies. Guess what? You can because there's a new season of flop TV coming out, as you know, from this mini episode. Remember, go to theflophouse.com to buy your tickets for flop TV. You can either get individual tickets for individual shows or buy a season pass bundle, six episodes for the price of five. It's like you are stealing the cost of an episode from us. So you get that little thrill of doing something naughty by not paying for that episode. but really it's okay.

We allowed it to happen. It's a bundle. You're paying for all the episodes at once. That's FlopTV season four, theflophouse.com. And now, back to talking about Flop TV. And welcome back to the Peach Bit, the number one post-flop-house review show,

hosted by me, Stuart Wellington, one of the hosts of the Flop House, and I am joined again by three megastars. That's right. Elliot Kaelin, Hallie Haglin, and one Dirty Dan McCoy. Thanks so much for joining me, guys. So, Ellie, you were saying during the break

that you have another animal fact? No, not a fact. I would say my younger son has also been caught up in Jimothy fever. Oh, who hasn't been? Yeah, so that's also been a big parisocial relationship in this house has been with Jimothy,

the slightly deformed but in a cute way, raccoon. I got to say, over under, on how many people are going to dress as Jimithy for Halloween. It's going to be big. It's going to be crazy. And Jimenez is going to be like the joker, right? It's going to be like the choker. Like, what would you do with your costume

other than just have a regular raccoon costume? No, no, you've got to distinguish between Jim. A big round raccoon costume. Well, first, they have to come over and smush you. Yeah, yeah. And pull your legs as are a little longer than usual. Yeah, yeah. Yep, smash you with a hammer and then pull your legs out real long.

Yeah. Luckily, we live it in a cartoon universe where you can do that. So we've been talking about flop TV and we're talking about performing live. Do you guys have any particular live? rituals that you like to do before you perform. Pre-show or post-show rituals. Guys, keep it PG. Thank you.

Oh, so we can't talk about it from the pooping. Pooping is totally PG. Your parents should guide you with pooping. I mean, PG stands for poop, guys. Yeah. I think that my pre-show ritual usually is to, like, really withdraw within myself because I can feel my body being like, You have to conserve what little energy you have to be on stage.

So get even quieter and more withdrawn than normal until like two minutes beforehand and then get real pumped. Did this happen when you would... That's when the Coke goes right up the hands. So there were a couple moments where you were on camera for bits on the daily show. Did you do the same thing for that? No, that was just a lot of nerves, a nerve backstage. a lot of like, am I going to look awkward? Am I going to be able to, like, I read teleprompter adequately.

No, I, you know, honestly, like, I look at the things when I'm on the daily show, and I'm amazed that I look relatively comfortable when I am on, which was very rare, but. I think part of the fun of that was that it was a place you worked, you were around people you knew. And I know the times that I was on the daily show, it almost didn't feel like you were really, even though there's an audience there, it didn't feel like you were on a real, TV show to me. It was just like, oh, we're goofing around, you know. Like you're making a little performance just for your parents to watch.

Exactly. My parents' friends are over and they go, Elliot, come and do that thing you do. Do put on your little show. And I'm like, do that thing where you reenact all of that thing you do. All right. Opening credits. Directed by Tom Hanks. Oh, he did direct that one, right? He did direct him. Never mind. Are you going to say, how do you think it got made?

No, I was going to say, how do you think Colin? Colin Hanks got cast. No, I was going to say he was great. He auditioned under a fake name. He did a fake face. He was great. And they said, kids shave that mustache and you're perfect. And Tom Hanks is like, he reminds me of a younger me.

But like mixed with my wife too a little bit. It was somehow, like, it was like Tom Hanks was a little bit of reasonable. Rita Wilson added in. Wait, is that, is Rita Wilson his mom? I thought so, or is he from her, is called thanks from his previous marriage. I don't remember. I don't know. There's another daughter from the previous marriage, but I'm not sure.

What about Chet? What about, what about Chet? Chet Hayes, he must be from the, from the Rita Wilson marriage, because he's a, he's a guy. I'm looking it up. They've been married for a long time. Anyway, my pre-show ritual is that I tell, I quickly eat something and then tell my children to be quiet, and then I rush to the room and sit down just in time for the show to start. And how does that different from, um,

doing a normal live show. My children are not usually there. Although I think you call them, right? I do call them sometimes beforehand. You FaceTime with them and you're like this. His mom is not Rita Wilson. Oh, wow. Is that, are you going to give us any more information about that?

Nothing more is known. It just says mother, unknown. It's the David Arquette thing all over again, which you'll understand next week when that episode is. It's like in the Mandalorian Groku. There's a card with a question mark on it. You want me to check out Chet? See who his mom is?

Yeah, check him out. Check him out. He's Chet's mom. Give us a rating in Chet. So right before, one of the most fun moments when we're doing a live show in person. Rita Wilson. Oh, nailed it, everybody. We did it.

Oh, man, what's our trivia team name? So I think our team name has to be Hanks for the memories, right? So when we're doing a live show in person, one of the most fun things is before we go on stage, we're not exactly pumping each other up, but we're just kind of like being around each other, you know, feeling about like we're going to go on. We don't have that for flop TV

because we're in a separate place. We have our tech check earlier in the afternoon, but it's not quite the same thing. It's a much more lonely experience. Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah. You feel like you're in a little bubble. Do you guys remember that time we were doing a show at UCB?

It wasn't, we were like guests on someone's show and Jubin was there and he showed up and he was like, so are we doing scenes or like, are we doing characters? And I'm like, this is, no, no, we're just sitting around answering questions. Yeah, it was really fun. That might have been the first time I ever saw back, like the backstage green room area at UCB and realized what a dump it was. And this place that I had kind of like, been always like, someday I'll perform here.

Because I would go there and sit in, you know, starting in college, I would, I went to UCB shows all the time. I'm like, oh man, these people are so funny. This is such an amazing theater. Someday I'll get to be part of it. And then we were backstage and I'm like, this place is a dump. Are you thinking of Andy Beckerman's show

when Hallie was also there? No, because that was at a different place. That was that the other location. It was the other location. Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't like the real UCB location. That was their like little theater. I don't remember all the time.

The beast. Did you feel that experience when you, like since you've all worked in comedy did like did that illusion drop in a lot of places like when you guys started working at the Daily Show were you guys like any

any glamour of it was immediately shattered I think I think always Elliot of something that you said so I'm going to say my fragrance I'm going to take words that you had and I'm going to put them in my own mouth but like about how like

the first time you were at the Emmys it was like it felt very unremised It took the glamour away because it's like, oh, this thing isn't a thing now because I'm inside it or something like that. Well, that's how I felt. I really felt that way when the first time John Stewart hosted the Academy Awards. And there was a montage that I had co-produced, the famous gay cowboy montage where it was scenes from, that was the year of Brokeback Mountains. It was scenes from classic westerns where there's this homoerotic charge to them. And watching that on TV, I was like, oh, this is like.

Was that narrated by Ian McShane? No, that was the convention movie we did when John McCain was running for president in 2008. That was Ian McShane who narrated that. He was amazing. He was fantastic. But seeing this thing that I had worked on air during the Oscars, it suddenly brought the Oscars down a bunch of levels.

Rather than making me feel like, oh, man, I'm elevated now. I'm part of this thing. That was where it was like, oh, okay, well, this is like the fake Oscars. Because like I'm the same way that if I was, I would, when I was, if I was coming home from work or from somewhere else and I would walk past someone's apartment and I would see that they had a TV on playing the Daily Show, I'd be like, oh, they get the channel with the Daily Show on it that people who work at the Daily Show get. Like it really felt like we make this show and then it just gets beamed to the houses of the people who made it. And it was, it becomes hard for me to recognize that it's a, that it's actually a thing that other people watch or enjoy or anything like that. So I think it was less like, when I worked at the Daily Show, it was less like, oh, this is it.

oh, and more like, okay, well, now that I'm involved in it, it's not, it can't be as cool as I thought it was. It was easy to forget. Exactly, yes. I also had this where it was easy to forget that like other people watched the show suddenly. Like, even though it was a show that I had watched for years and years and years, then it was like, oh, it's just this project that we're all doing together. And then we throw it in the trash. Yeah. Which is funny because I think conversely, and this is not a criticism, but I do feel like,

when I worked at the daily show and for people who continue to work at the daily show, you often talk like everybody knows what the fuck is going on at the daily show. That's true. You assume that this is what,

because this is such a big part of your life. Everyone is doing this. Yeah. Whereas most people are like, yeah, I don't actually watch that. Yes. I haven't watched it a decade. And like when you were working there,

did you feel like you had a different level of engagement with like, media, like the news, or media, and all of a sudden you're like, why isn't everyone talking about this thing that we joked around about at the office? Very much so. You assumed everybody's life was based around yucking about the stuff you're seeing. I mean, it reminded me that I had a moment, I was walking through Times Square once,

and I passed by the political pundit SE Cup, and I was like, suddenly starstruck for a moment, and I'd remind myself, wait a minute, nobody knows who this person is. Like nobody watches as much cable news as we do at the show. And the fact that I don't know most of the hosts of the cable news shows anymore because I don't watch them. I'm like, oh, this is a regular, like most people are not aware of all the ins and outs of the Fox News hosts and what their personalities are. And their relationships with each other.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So like when I walked past a New York One anchor on the street and I was like, oh, is no one looking at Frank Delillo from New York One? Not Checky Beckford? No. I love Checky Beckford. I wish it was George Whipple, honestly, so I could grab his eyebrows. It was the opposite experience of when a different time was running through Times Square,

and Michael Sarah was standing on a street corner looking at his phone, and I was about to go say hi to him and then had to remember, wait a minute, I don't know him. He's someone I've seen on television. He's not a friend of mine. You know, ironically, I was at a party one time, and I watched the two girls' one cup video with Michael Sarah. Wow. I mean, I guess that's ironic.

I mean, well, I guess because we were talking about two girls' one cup before. Yeah. So it's more of a coincidence than I really. This is a real thing that happened, Halley. Yes. Now, why did this happen? I don't know. We were at the release party for two girls' one cup.

Yeah. Which Spiral Slaher had produced. Do not open the swag bag. No. Keep it closed. I don't know. It was just some party. I never met him before.

Never met him since. And I remember he got really sad about it. Oh. I mean, that's a correct human. That's better than if he was like weirdly into it. And he's like, we should do that. That's what we all say

when we watch two girls one couple. I've actually never seen it. I know I would not. Actually, Alex, can you play the clip real quick? No, no, no. That video was one of those things where like at the daily show, gross videos would kind of like be circulated

mostly in the studio production department, but sometimes among the writers or other people or the field department. And then that was one where it was almost like the video escaped containment and I'm like, why are people outside of this building talking about this disgusting video? Like, why did this become famous, you know?

Remember when we wrote that piece for chat roulette? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Katie Kirk. That was really fun. She did a good job with that. She's like, she's like, oh, John, thank you. There's a place where scum dwells or something. There's like, there's a place where the sickest people on the internet dwells to act out there

or something fantasy is, this is your part, John. It's like, I found one of these perverts. I've got him right now. John, now it's your part. That was just really funny. The thing I remember most about the chat roulette bit was in rehearsal. It was so much footage of like people just whipping their dicks out. And the crew loved it.

They thought it was so funny. And then we put in, it was a moment of sex between two men and the crew starts going, oh, oh, no, no, oh. That was too much for them. They thought they were loving it until that moment. And then they were all, it was just too much. It's all fun in games until people seem to be. Yeah, until, yeah, makes an actual connection.

Exactly, yeah. It's kind of sad. A rainbow connection, because the Muppets were there. Yeah, so that brings us to, wait, what? That brings us to season three of the flop TV. That's what the Seps are about, Flopterpiece theater. Is this Dick felt? That's where we went back in time.

Because the Muppets. Decade by decade trying out some of the worst flops from the history of cinema, starting with Pluto Nash. Then we watched Jack Frost, not the horror movie. movie. No, no. The Michael Keaton Dad comes back as a snowman movie. Zanadu.

Great movie. Dr. Doolittle and Plan 9 from Outer Space. Now, looking back over those movies, were there any that you think should have deserved more of a reimagining, should be considered, or a cultural reevaluation? I mean, I'll stand by, during our Zardaz episode I talked about, that's a movie I think has a lot of great stuff in it. I think it is an imperfect movie. but I think it has some very beautiful and hard-hitting moments in it.

And Zanadu is... I like the music. And Zanadu is so fun. Like, it's such a fun, dumb movie. When you watch it, you see why that's one that people have a lot of feelings for. Dr. Doolittle, on the other hand, is the longest of the movies we watched, and I remember it the least of all of them. Like, it just kind of passed through me, like, crap through a goose, you know.

No, those are the two, Zanadu and Zardaz, very much on, like, different ends of the spectrum in terms of, like... like lightness and just silly fun. I do like, I do like Elliot picking up a new folk, like a folksy phrase like crap through a goop's. Yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, that's... I'm trying out new things.

Not that I'm getting older, I've got to talk like an old man. By the way, you're talking about Dr. Doolittle being old. Who, boy, did we make a mistake with this best pictures theme? Because I was looking at the runtimes of all of these. Like, I think all of them are over two hours long. Many of them are pushing three hours. Oh, no.

So, yeah, that mentions that the final series. season, final. Final. Wow. Stuart, Stewart, what is you? A scoop for this recording. The

the upcoming fourth season of Flop TV tickets on sale now. I forgot that after this season we agreed to all get into a space pod and journey to the farthest reaches of the universe. I guess I've been thrown in the trash

like the Daily Show was. And for this final, final. Wow. Again. This is very Freudian. So for the fourth season, titled Worst of the Best, we are looking at all best picture winners.

Yeah. Starting with Green Book, greatest show on earth, Gladiator, Crash. Around the World and 80 Days Crash, by the way, the racism one, not the sex one. The one that won best picture. Yes.

Wait, the bad one, not the good one. The other one, yeah. No, the Crona Bratrash did not win Best Picture. Then finally, a movie that may or may not actually exist out of Africa. But this, we are finally going to answer the mystery that has bedeviled this podcast for, I don't know how long. Does Out of Africa actually exist? I've only seen one of these six movies, and that's the one that I pushed for, which is Gladiator. Yeah, you really want a Gladiator to be on there.

Which, by the way, Stuart, we've already, like, you pushed for that. We've already fielded so many people being like, what's Gladiator doing on this? are losing their fucking shit. I mean, we needed another one that started with G after Green Book and Greatest Show on Earth. For sure, right? Stuart was very intent that Gladiator be on the list, yeah. I'm going to, like, publicly say right now,

like, I think that Gladiator will probably be the one that generally will be like, yeah, this is fine. Like, we're not going to be, like, down on... Is it the best picture? No, probably not. And what I'm also going to say is, I'm probably going to watch it and be like,

not only do I think this movie's bad, but anyone who likes it and would argue with me on the internet is worse. Wow. Wow. Stewart's really staking out an opposite claim that I was expecting.

But I haven't seen Green Book. Greatest Show on Earth, how long is that one? That's about 10 million years. Christ. And I say this because... That's about a circus, so how boring can it be?

I think this is a theme that I also pushed for. I think I pushed for this theme, which makes me look dumber by the moment. Around the world in 80 days, does it take 80 days to watch it? It's also very long. I mean, greatest show on earth in around the world in the 80s are both movies from an era when you would do these, like, big roadshow spectaculars.

The idea was make the movie as long as possible because you're going to have a special screening of it that's better or more special than a normal movie. I have a feeling I might... Wait, is the greatest show on earth the Zach Ephron one? No, that's the greatest showman with you, Jackman and Zach Ephron. This is the greatest show on earth with, it's what, Charlton Heston and Jimmy Stewart. And it's about... Jimmy Stewart's a clown in it. I'm looking forward to seeing that.

The Greatest Show on Earth, I know more from the Mad Magazine parody of it, which was in a paperback of mad parodies that I had when I was a kid. I know that more than the actual... The Greatest Show on Earth is the movie that inspired Steven Spielberg to become a filmmaker as a child, which is what... In The Fableman's, that's the movie he sees where he's like, oh, I got to become a filmmaker now. I can do way better than this.

But he's never made a circus movie, has he? No. Can't be tombed, I guess. He's made a lot. Train stuff. I guess Stephen was the original. director on Big Top Pee Wee until he and Paul Rubin's had their creative differences.

Yeah. I'm, you know, I, maybe I'll, you know, maybe this season will shut my mouth. But I anticipate, maybe kind of liking greatest show in around the world in 80 days just because it is an old-fashioned type of like, it's going to bore me, I'm sure,

but I'm also going to enjoy like, oh, star-studded, like everyone's going to be like an old Hollywood, you know, face. And my only experience of Green Book was my wife watched it on a plane. And it was... I feel like this little earthquake just now. That was just me laughing and I shook the table.

Oh, okay. Wow. Hey, that's a good credit to Dan's joke is that he made out. Lassau already created a mini earthquake. I actually laughed at the... I actually laughed at the joke that I was thinking of what Dan said. Oh, I'll hear it. No, no, it's not...

It doesn't work anymore. It doesn't work anymore. It was too good. But yeah, so Charlene watched Green Book on a plane. It would be no good. And it was the, like, edited for content version. so all like the racial slurs were edited on her flight. So she's like, I don't know what's happening with this fucking movie. So, yeah, I guess I watched clips of it over her shoulders.

So who knows? Did you guys see this one? I did not see Green Book. No. Crash. You guys see Crash? I did see Crash. It's the Dave Matthews song.

That's the Dave Matthews song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be. The only time a song has ever one best picture. It was just that good. It created a picture in your head. They had to change the rules afterwards to show that, yes, it had to be a movie that won. Nothing in the rulebook that says a song can't win best picture.

Oh, boy, why didn't we write a bigger rule book? This is even worse than when that basketball playing dog won best picture. I think Crash is, though, my vote for the worst best picture that I have seen. ever or of this six? You know Don Cheadle went to my high school? Whoa. Wait, was it high school Rwanda? Right?

He was in Hotel Rwanda? Yeah, he was in that. He was in Hotel Rwanda. Was it high school for dogs? He was also in that. Oh, yeah. Wait, he was in high school for dogs? Yes.

Not a movie high school for dogs. He definitely exists. All dogs still at high school. So you and Don Chita, were you pals? Yeah, did you and Don Chita? She'll sit at the same table. No, he's way older than me. I think he's got a pretty good age range,

so he could play kind of anything. So it's not a comment on you. Well, we're not there at the same time. Okay. But was he like a legendary figure at your school? Not really. I can't even remember how I found this out. I think I read it.

I think I found it out by reading this Wikipedia page. My high school is really not doing enough with that information. Yeah. think they'd, you know, they'd really be... Meanwhile, there's a huge statue of Annie Hathaway right out front of my high school, you know? Really? Annie.

She was... Everyone knew her as Annie when she was growing up. Oh. Sorry. It's still strange to call her Anne just because when she was... Because everyone knew as Annie, yeah. There was a while... There was a while where Elliott's Wikipedia page did incorrectly mention that

Elliott had dated in Hathaway. I think my IB trivia may still have that, which is funny. Bullshit we made up. Yeah, we made it up. Escaped containment. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So it sounds like we have a very exciting slate of pictures for this fun.

Certainly a long slate of pictures. Four season of Flop TV. Stuart caught himself. The, I am so thankful to be joined by the Stars of the Flop House podcast. Thank you so much for shedding a little light on the act of performing, what has inspired you. how you prepare. What has been your kind of go-toes and what it gives you direction

for picking the movies behind Flot TV? You really make it sound like there was substance to this episode. No, I mean, I was going to say, thank you, Stuart, for, you know, doing this, you know, episode-long advertisement for the thing we're doing. Yeah. But in a way, in a way that I think added some entertainment,

a lot of joy. having Hallie here to waste Hallie's time, yeah. Because it was like, it seems so much like our own bullshit if we didn't have an extra person around. No, wait, I really have a question. Is there, like, when you compare listenership between the actual Flop House episodes

and then the many ones? Oh, huge drop off. Yeah, yeah, huge, huge. Big drop off, huge. Not huge. But it's multiple thousands of people fewer. I have to go a podcast now. But I want to thank you guys so much for tuning in.

Now, this is a Ben of Flop House Mini, which is part of the Max Fun podcast network, a network with a lot of great shows, similar to this one. So go check them out. This show has been produced by Alex Smith, who goes by Howl Dottie on the internet. Check him out, support him on Twitch, band camp, etc.

Thank you so much for joining me, guys. I've been Stuart Wellington. Oh, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliot Kalen, and we've been inexplicably joined by Hallie Hackland. Check out my stuff stack. I should have said that on the other one. We should have had you promote your subs stack.

That's true. Well, the funny thing is this is going to air before the main episode, which is going to make Hallie's appearance on this, even the more inexplicable to listeners. Actually, but Halley, you should explain about your substack a little bit. At least tell us the name of it. Nobody's listening. They've already turned off by now.

It's called that hurts my feelings. Yeah. And I'll write about this. It's called That Harts My Feelings. The only thing that ever gives me a boost in followers is when I appear on this podcast, which is why I wanted to mention it. So, sign up if you haven't already. It's a must read.

It's a must read. Okay. Must read. Bye. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists' owned shows. Supported directly by you.