The Flop House - FH Mini 55 - The Fruit Group, with Chris Weitz

Episode Date: May 28, 2022

In which Stuart wastes the time of his friends and an Academy Award-nominated filmmaker by asking us all about our favorite fruits, a food Elliott hates.

Hey there and welcome to another Flop House Manny brought to you by Minis Bar and Maniac of New York. This is an episode of the Flop House podcast that unlike a full episode where we watch a bad movie and talk about, this is one of our mayonnaise where we talk about something kind of whatever the fuck we want to talk about. Now for example, this would normally be the time where I would be hosting a game show called Skeet Scoot Scarrett, where I would ask my, I would give my, my, my friends, like challenging questions where they would have to guess whether or not the movie features, uh, Skeet Orrich, uh, Scoot McNary or Tom Scarrett. And if they

got it wrong, they would be kicked out of the podcast forever. But we're not going to be playing that game. I know high stakes. That's what people are in these days. It's a squid game. Those are amazing skits. Scoot. What was the other one? A scared stakes. Yep. That's the scariest thing about is that if you get scared it wrong, I don't know where I was going with this. So I'm scared story is. We just done in the dark. We're doing something completely different. We're doing something that I think we have, that I feel like our listeners have been begging for.

I get tweets about this all the time. That's right. We're going to be talking tangierines and other tasty treats with the flop house fruit group and joining us today. We have my guests, my guest host Dan McCoy, LA Kayle, and the original fruit Brutumself Chris White. Hey Chris, thanks for joining us. Hey, a very fruity evening to you three.

Guys, the most natural and obvious fit for this bit for reasons that I'm looking forward to finding out. And the most and the most obvious natural bit for the show to do considering one third of the most hates fruit refuses to eat them. It's part. So let's give a little back. First off, Chris, thank you so much for joining us. I'm very excited to talk to you about your background with fruit. But to give everybody a little bit of a heads up, I've become a little bit of a healthy boy in the last year or so. A big part of my life is eating fruit and nuts.

But that's nuts are a different thing. We're gonna be talking nuts in the nut house, not go with nuts. I think that's copyright and magic tavern boys. But we'll talk about nuts in other times. That's not tonight. Wait, actually, I have one nut-related thing. So I've been watching a lot of television.

And do you have? Oh, I've heard of it. And is this, there've been running a lot of ads for nuts.com, which is some kind of website where you can order nuts. Is that a nationwide thing? Or is it just a California area business? Are you asking if the commercials are, if you turn on the TV on the East Coast,

are you gonna see a commercial? There's a whole lot of local, local worldwide web website, like they have. Yeah, that's the right one. It's a statewide web website. Are you seeing this on streaming services? Are we talking like old facts? CNN, baby.

CNN, when I watch my, when I'm watching Stanley Tucci, searching for Italy, nuts.com comes up a lot. It's not the ad that place before your pornographic video. As he as he found it yet, I haven't been watching did he did he get there? Or are you asking if he's the only to you found Italy? That's actually good question.

He's still looking for the least of America's Italy. The last the last episode he actually was in London. So I think he has not found Italy or they ran out of a new Italy. He said, I love the new Italy. And he said he would subdue the natives and get gold.

Oh yeah, he enslaved most of parliament and then put them into the pasta mines to bring back what they needed. Very sad. So today's episode, we, I can't really answer that because most of New York commercials are either online sports betting app ads or cars for kids. Today's episode, I can't really answer that because most of New York commercials are either online sports betting app ads or cars for kids. Can I add one more nut thing? I want to.

Yeah, let's. I was checking the nut break. I was thought if I had a nut company, I would call it what do you so that then when you call them up, they would answer what are you nuts? What do you think guys? Oh, fuck. That's good. What's your business model? That's good. That's good. What's your business model? That's it. That's it.

Just the name. Well, sharks, what do we think? I mean, I mean, I like it. I'm all in dog. I'll turn my chair around for it. Is that what you do in this show? I don't know. I've never seen it. That's actually a shockingly good Mark Cuban impression right there. I'm all in a dog. I like this business idea, dogs from in the tank full of sharks. See if he gets out of the aisle.

He gets out of one reality contest years ago. He assumes that's very implementative of all of them. I mean, if Elliot was really trying to make this like a reality show, he'd be like, actually Chris, I don't like that idea. I love it. Wow, God, he had him going there. Turned about. Yeah, that's just me out.

I'm glad I, that pregnant pause I left didn't get filled with Elliot talking. I was comfortable. Wow. You know, no, no, I saw where that joke was and I decided to hold back from interrupting it and derailing it. That's shows real growth. You know, I think, you know, this is happened more than once that we need to deal with the problem of pauses getting pregnant so easily.

What are we going to do about it? It happened before, huh? Topical, we got very topical all of a sudden. He got very intense. What are we talking about fruit? What's going on? Okay. Jane wants to get down to brass tax and I am with you.

So to give you a little bit of background, I've become a healthy boy. It's important to me. And I thought, who better to talk about fruit, one of the pillars of the food groups here, than my buddy Chris Whites, a guy who the last time we hung out, I was like, wouldn't it be funny if we did a podcast and talked about fruit? Yeah. Well, what's your connection to fruit? Why was it?

It's actually really good question. It is. It's an excellent question. And I've put together a little speech of about 40 minutes. I love it. Actually, I don't know. I got the call. The flop signal went out a couple of days ago and I said, what's it going to be?

Anything but fruit and then lo and behold, it was fruit. So imagine my dismay. Now, now anybody who's trying to do a little bit of, uh, to excavate my Twitter account will find that about a week ago, we were out drinking with the blank check boys and, uh, about 10 hours into drinking. I think I tweeted tonight is the point of a drunken or right now is the point of a drunken night where I'm a menace to everyone in my context list. And you know what, Chris Whites, you're in my context list, buddy. Consider me menace.

So you have been drafted. No, it's just a quick. I want to earn my way back from the joyless slog through my story of my career that was the last many that I did with you. I thought that was very educational and also entertaining. Well, thank you. And, and two, and two, occasional, I would call it. Yes, you and the other two guys on this podcast, I think.

And I, I certainly will call it educational. Um, so just to give you guys a little bit of a breakdown, just so that the listeners and home know what we're going to be getting into, we're going to break down. And us also, also, so we know what we're getting. Oh, yeah. And so that you guys know what we're gonna be getting into. We're gonna break down. And us also, so we know what we're gonna get into. Oh yeah. And so that you guys know what we're gonna into. To break down tonight's episode, I'm just gonna give us some points.

The first section is going to be called everyday snacking fruit that is part of your daily diet. Chapter two is baked in a pie fruit that is perfect for dessert. Wait a second. Chapter three, fruit on film, the main attraction is fruit. That's all part of the same title. That's part three. I think there's the slogan, the tagline.

Chapter four, reversal of fortunes, times change in so-to-art taste buds. What fruit did you use to love and never eat? And what do you hate? Now that you love growing up, who knows? And then we didn't wanna call that reversal of frutians. Oh, fuck. Alex, change it. change it real quick.

Yeah, I guess snip out Elliott say. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then finally, we're going to wrap it up with part five. That's right. We're going to do an all time top five. Fave fruits. This is our definitive ranking based on all the important categories. mouth feel flavor ease of consumption appearance wild card. Okay. So we kind of we know we're in for us.

So let's start with the first topic, fellas. Chapter one, everyday snacking fruit that's part of your daily diet. So LA, I have a feeling I know your answer. Guys, what kind of fruits do you guys eat on a daily basis? Finally, I mean, someone asking the hard questions. I'll say that I'm also, you know, on the first, you know, leg of a journey to become a healthy boy. So I've been this keeping, you know, on, on the first, you know, leg of a journey to become a healthy boy. So I love this keeping, you know, fruit around like here's the, right now you're just looking at fruit. You're just having it around you and looking at it. Here's the first thing. Keeping it a part of it is.

I've got a lot of acclimating myself to fruit by having it around in the apartment. I mean, you, you joke, but that's almost exactly what I was about to say. Because like, the thing is you got to have the food around. You got to have the good food around to replace the bad foods. It's not like I'm going to eat less food, guys. Let's be frank. I like, I've gotten too used to putting something in my mouth. I'm sorry.

Yeah. So refusing to be frank, good, good stance. No thyself. So do you join the food game closer to you every day? Like first, this is 10 feet. So we're refusing to be frank. Good, good stance. No thyself. So do you enjoy the fruit getting closer to you every day? Like first, this is 10 feet. I can't eat fruit around. Like seeing fruit is this first step to eating fruit.

So if I need to, I mean, it's a very first step. I mean, it's a very first step. You know, I know there's a banana on the counter. I'm going to have the banana instead of something else. So Dan is, so Dan is interesting and interesting idea, which is that blind people can't eat fruit according to Dan. But it's not. Well, if you're seeing the fruit as the first step, then they can't even get on board.

They can't get on the ground floor. They say it's a necessary thing. It's a very difficult thing. It's a step in my life on the road to eating fruit. Could you fool yourself by sort of secreting it into other things like inside of a meatloaf or something? Like a banana question or a banana inside of a bread? Oh, I'm gonna say fool yourself by looking at a banana and then reaching for a candy bar, but you're not looking at it, but you're still reaching for it blindly.

I think the effects of putting something that's not very colorically dense into something very calorically dense. You're going to take down the overall density, but better just to replace the meatloaf with something else. I mean, I feel like it's not uncommon for a meatloaf to feature raisins or prunes. I mean, I feel like those who are not on a flavor agent now. Yeah, I think we're, I think what's raising an interesting question too is who is eating meatloaf as a snack, which is what the banana would be. That's actually true. The banana is not a meal unless you're a monk. The banana is a meal replacement. I, you know, I have most days these days. All is a snack. I have a hard boiled egg for breakfast and then possibly also a banana if I'm

lucky, if I'm lucky guys. Would you eat eat your egg on a little cup, like one of those little egg cups? Hard boiled egg. I don't know what it is. Okay. That's for a soft boiled. Oh, God, I feel like an idiot. I'm the only one who is making any effort to engage with the questions here.

You can dip a little toast point into it, like a crack open a soft boiled egg and dip a toasted pudding. But instead, you could dip in some kind of fruit. I'll be like, man, wage of confidence. You've been acting to the yoke. I mean, if we're talking about everyday fruit, of course, I have pineapple or oranges in the morning and then throughout the day, I eat mangoes, dried mangoes, watermelon and pears.

Dried mangoes, I've had bananas. I would want to bananas before working out. Sorry, I was jumping in there, but dried mangoes are very, very, very sugary, right? Because once you remove the water, then you're looking at some, some damage. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, I mean, I gotta have, I gotta have a treat there, you know. Yeah. I'm worth it.

After some fully hydrated mangoes, a nice treat like a dried mangoes. It's good. Talk about chloracticity. You're removing all of the stuff that makes it, you know, fill you up without, you know, I mean, the calories. The point of the Flopass Fruit Group

is not to talk about the benefits of fruit, but just how good it, how tasty it is. It's a very good, tasty fruit. I just look at the heat in this, though, as to if your fruit lifestyle to be like my everyday morning fruit is pineapple. Like that's true. You're right, Dan.

Take it. Really take it to task for that one. Do you slice the hard, rind off your pineapple, do you buy pre-cut in a, like a plastic tub? Or do you just take a bite out of a pineapple shell? That's actually a good question, Elliot. Now, Chris is making me reveal that I spend more money on pineapple by buying the plastic pre-cut stuff because I've never

actually cut my own pineapple before. It's fun. Audrey showed me how to do it with the minimum of waste. You end up with a spiral around the pineapple because you got to get all the little nubbins, what bar? Yes, a bit. Yeah, the bar. At the risk of being a chroma, I'm gonna say that does not sound fun. Come on, you got a spiral cut, you know, looks like a film. Wait, you guys filmed the draftsman's contract. You guys seen that? There's a there's an intense pineapple moment at the end. Wait, the movie's going to be out of the draftsman's contract. Is that Peter Greenaway? Peter Greenway, the draftsman's contract, yeah. I had that's one of his that I've not seen.

I think it might be his best because the other one's kind of stink. But yeah, at the end, this is what the listeners tune in for for these hot takes over Peter Greenaway. Spoiler alert, at the end, the guy who has been the living statue takes a bite of the pineapple.

Cause this is all set in the 18th, 17th century. Anyway, pineapples are very, very impressive and expensive at the time. And he takes a bite of the pineapple, because it's all set in the 18th, 17th century. Anyway, pineapples are very, very impressive and expensive at the time. And he takes a bite of the pineapple again, but he bites right into the hard, nubbly bit and spits it out, because he doesn't understand the nature of the pineapple. Yeah. Mm-hmm. If only it had a Dan McCoy there to cut the, cut it up perfectly.

Yeah, and spiral it out for him. Now, Dan, part of it is, I feel like you're, I feel like now that I, when I come over to record your wife often, Audrey often offers me pine, various fruit. She seems to be, is she encouraging this lifestyle shift for you? If the lifestyle shift you're talking about is being hospitable to guess the yes, that's what I was what in the pineapple is the fruit of hospitality yeah, I mean I

I'm the grumpy one who's like he's got his own fruit He doesn't need to eat all my apples. He gets fruit all the time. Don't waste your good fruit Well, that's lovely. So I think that covers all of our everyday snacking Elliott. Do you got anything to add here? Do you feed your kids fruit or do you just give them what like fried toast points? Mostly it's fried toast points. I have a deep fat fryer and I put toast points in it. Yeah.

Yeah, kids love that. I, as maybe long time listeners will know I don't like fruit. I think it's gross. I don't, it doesn't, isn't't love that. As maybe long time listeners will know, I don't like fruit. I think it's gross. It doesn't go to me, but as my children never fail to remind me, cucumbers are technically a fruit because they have seeds on the inside. So I do eat a lot of cucumber in my daily life. I do a lot of your children take after you. Yeah, my children are very much like me and that they are constantly correcting me and

are annoying when they do it. And my children need a lot of fruit, especially my younger one, the almost four-year-old constant fruit. So I find myself handling a lot of fruit, like peeling oranges, which I find disgusting. And I have to do with my, when you like dig in with your fingernails to rip the peel open and it gets under your fingernail, I hate it. But lately he's been on a real cherry kick, So I'm doing a lot of pitting cherries and getting cherry juice splattering on me as I as they pit them.

I do like to use I like to use the cherry pitting machine because it's like one of those things that Jeremy Irons had made for gynecology for mutant women in dead ringers. That's what I imagine that tool is like. Let's do what you say. I was going to first off. I was going to say, I don't know what a cherry pitting machine is at all. Well, it's not really a machine. I mean, it's a simple machine.

It just pushes the, it's like a whole punch for a bit for a cherry. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Like a leather punch, but for a cherry. Tough. Exactly. For listeners, you can use a, you can use a straw for that as well. In case you don't want to go out.

That's the kind of tip you only get on a glass of manhood or a piece of food club. Did I ever tell you guys that I sit in a tip to cooks illustrated? No! No, I want that issue. Are you familiar? I don't know if any of you read cooks illustrated, but there's a... My father-in-law is a big reader of cooks-ill-tops. They're always lying around in our society. I'm actually a subscriber. read, Coox Illustrated, but there's a my father-in-law is a big is a big reader of Coox Illustrated.

Yeah. They're always lying around in the background. I'm actually a subscriber. It won't be the tip section in the front. You will know is like, it's that magazine is barely illustrated. Silly is, well, those are the most illustrations. This is when the tips they've got all these like line drawings because it's a, you know, it's a very important cooking magazine. So that's line drawings, but all the tips are like making things so much harder. And like, I mean, in the same spirit,

I gave them a tip of mind that was like, honestly looking back and like, why did I waste my time on this? But I would, when I made iced tea, I would string the strings of the tea through the hooks of a slotted spoon. So I would have like a nice little like tea bundle that I could pull all of the tea out

and it was an easy way of doing it. And I'm saying milliseconds. I mean, not the time that it's, you took to thread the tea strings through this. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, it may not have saved me a lot of time, but it did save me the money of a year's worth of Cuxil's trip, because I got a free subscription on that ship.

Oh, that's worth it. That's great. That's great. So I'm afraid. So, uh, you got a, what, uh, what issue was that? So, uh, eagle eyed listeners can go, uh, I don't know, eagle eyed listeners go back. It's, it's a simple years back. If I had done that, I would know exactly the issue and the month and everything. Yeah, I'm surprised you don't have the page framed on your wall, Dan. I have a photo of it somewhere, I don't know.

That's cool, like a Polaroid? On my phone, not like I didn't frame up. I once got a magazine. I got a trap entered into Grimtooth's traps, volume two, published by Flying Buffalo. That's very cool, dude. Pretty cool, right? What was the trap? The trap was, well, okay, first of all, I was 13 years old.

And it was a ball-to-war. I think it wouldn't have been fair if as an adult you submitted. As you're competing with children. She was going with the professional screenwriter. Yeah, the brain power I would have brought to bear. It was a ball so would dragon, right? The trap was a ball so would dragons. And inside would be the real sort of monsters like, you know, what would have you orcs,

cobalt, etc. And so like when the adventures would go and attack it with swords, if they did, swords would get stuck in the ball so it would. And then the orcs would burst out with the element of surprise. That's a good trap. That's a good trap. And you know, feel free to use it. Years ago, I got a fan letter published an issue of Savage Dragon.

That's pretty cool. Nice. Oh, yeah. I once had a fan letter printed an issue of Wolverine. What was the letter's page in Wolverine because in Savage Dragon, it was fin addicts. Oh, I don't know what the Wolverine was. It's probably like, snicked stamps or something like that. I don't remember being a particularly good title. Well, we've all defined what flavor of nerd we are. Okay. So moving on, Chef.

I think it was like, I'm the best there is at what I do and what I do is write letters to Wolverine. That makes sense. So chapter two is baked in a pie, fruit that is perfect for dessert. What kind of a dessert can fetch, like what kind of fruit addition to a dessert? Encourages you to order that dessert from a menu. Dan, you're the baker of the group. What kind of dessert, what kind of fruit do you like when you are baking?

Uh, you know what? I, uh, a peach is a good, a peach is a good, uh, I find that peaches are good baking. Like stone fruit in general, because like the thing about stone fruit is if you get something perfectly in season, perfectly ripe, it's going to be delicious. That's a very small window, but if you put it in a pie or a cobbler or a grunt or a crisp, what's a grunt? Grunt. And what is a grunt?

Same question. I'm familiar with the brother's grunt. I use it as a name. It's like it's closer to a cobbler. Let's see. Wasn't familiar with the brother's grunt. I used to know what it is. It's like, it's closer to a cowboy. Let's see. Wasn't a Russell Crowe's like hip hop band called something something off feet of grunts. There's 30 odd foot of grunt.

I think a grunt might be the one that has just biscuits on top. Yeah, that's right. Thing like it. 30 odd feet of grunt. Russell Crowe. I don't know. That's the question. I mean, Russell Crowe's such a sexual being that's hard tole crow. I don't know. That's a question.

I mean, rustle, rustle crow's such a sexual being that's hard to imagine it. It wasn't, but yeah. Yeah. It's basically like your drop in dumplings on top of your fruit. That's what I say when I pee the bath. Yeah. Yeah, that's not okay. So you like stone fruit peaches.

Yeah, and as you know, it's boring another fruit that like don't care for an apple most of the time, usually melee unless you get like a great diviner. But a good cooking fruit as well. My kids, they go through a lot of apples. And that's one of my favorite fruits to have to handle for them because it's less sticky and gross. Yeah. Right.

Do you have a, do your kids have a favorite type of apple? Um, no. No. No, is it because they don't know or because you intentionally hide that there are different types of apples from that? I don't want them to go further down that road. Yeah. The road that you've gone down and the kids started to go down by looking at fruit in his own

house. Yeah, there's no way back. I'm Sam Neal and a venterize at this point. Just ripping your own eyes out as you've seen too many fruit. Yeah. Yeah.

The debauched world of being able to distinguish between different kinds of apple. My, my, my, my, my middle child Paulo specializes in asking for an apple Just when it's time to go to bed. Oh, that's a favorite. That's a favorite of sammies also He's getting into bed and he goes oh, suddenly I'm hungry. Can I have an apple? It's like well, it's a healthy food. I guess we can't say no and he's like hey like you didn't ask before I didn't I wasn't hungry before

But I brushed my teeth already like he brings that out as if I guess that has to be Yeah, oh and how much longer is it past my bedtime? Oh man, but hey kids you got a little About to say so when it comes to dessert, uh, you know, I was about to say so when it comes to dessert, you know, I was about to say a pistachio, but that would be a nut and nut is not a fruit as we've just. Yeah. Stuck in. Yeah.

Yeah. I do like, I do like strawberry, especially if strawberry is mixed with wild pal, rhubarb. I'm sorry. I was going to jump in there and say rhubarb, but anyways, I spoil it for you. How did I forget? Strawberry rhubarb pies by favorite of all. It's the best. Now what if strawberry was mixed with

rumiclana hand? Would you feel the same way? Oh man, that'd be extra spicy, yeah. Yeah. Now here's, here's the, oh sorry. No, I was. And all. It's actually, this is important that I get to this.

I was gonna say blueberry, but also you may notice that I've forgotten to answer the previous question and you know what it would have been? Blueberries. So just, yeah, it's a pattern. It's interesting you say that because blueberry is part of what I was gonna say to you. Stuart says, what kind of dessert would you, seeing fruit on the menu and making one order it, I will actively not order a dessert when they list that fruit is part of it. And one time, the only time I've ever eaten at the steak restaurant in Yankee Stadium,

the list of, as a dessert, it was like chocolate pudding. And I was like, that's great. Well, can you do it that? That sounds fine. And I didn't find out till they delivered it, that it was chocolate pudding with berries in the pudding, just kind of haphazardly strewn without as if, as if a great galley full of berries had been sunk by an invading Viking horde. And those, the berries manning the ores had just fallen into the pudding sea. And so I then had to use my spoon to individually

remove these berries. And I could just see the level of the pudding going down as I removed so many berries from the bowl was so disappointing. Yeah, you feel like they were just really, they were taking up a lot of real estate. They were filling in the, with these cheap berries as compared to the chocolate pudding, which I can only assume was much cheaper. I mean, I'm sure it was cheap. I mean, the real issue is that I like eating chocolate pudding and I don't like eating berries. So it's like, hey, we have the food you ordered. Here's a secret surprise. It's full of a thing you don't like, but we didn't say that on the menu, unless you're saying that like they ran out of chocolate pudding and they were like, we need some filler to help fill up this bowl. Quick. Hand me those berries. Everyone loves them.

And we that those berries in this installation. Yeah. They probably were like, this kid need some antioxidant stat. Let's throw some berries of that shit. That's possible, but there were a lot of blueberries in there. I got to, I got to, I got to go back guys under everyday snacking. A big component of my meals is I, I have protein shakes. I take a vegan protein powder and I usually mix it with a banana. A handful of blueberries for my antioxidants of us. I've already mentioned,

some peanut butter, almond milk, and almond, once again almond milk, not fruit, that's a nut. He just can't get away from nuts in this, in this conversation. I can't get him trapped. And ice, and that's, yeah, so I make a smoothie like that. I'm overly related.

Speaking of berries and also everyday snacking. Again, my kids love fruit. I don't. But one thing I do bond with my younger child over is we have a mulberry bush in our yard. And you go around it. And we go around it all around it early in the morning. But it's so it right now we're in mulberry season.

And the mulberries ripen just a handful at a time. And it's very fun to go with him and we hunt through the leaves together to get Mulberries for him. And he's small enough still that he can just walk into the inside of his Mulberry bush and I'll just see the leaves shaking periodically. And I know he's in there.

And then he'll just walk out covered in Mulberry juice. How can you hit fruit after that? You should know. I like that my child enjoys it, but I still don't. You should start a silk industry by feeding mulberry leaves to some silkworms. No, yeah, that's a great idea. I mean, I'm already raising regular worms in my garage. Everybody needs a side hustle. And I think this

silkworm is my work. Actually, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my smoothie habit, which is to use dark sweet cherries. And I also have a song and I sing to my children, which goes with them. I'm going to sing it for you right now. Yes, it goes dark sweet cherries, dark sweet cherries, dark sweet cherries. I ain't messing with no berries. See? Yeah. That's a good one. How do your children react to that, so? With 20? 50 times. They remembered it.

But. Oh, that's because they're mostly tuning you out at that point. There's another one I did which is to the tune of it's beating a little bit like Christmas. It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis. And they. they, they, this is another meal time. Yeah, but then the children remember that almost instantly

and my wife Mercedes is really mad that I ever did that. Yeah, there's like any song, any song parody that involves poop or something like that that children pick it up very, very quickly. Yeah. Oh, and yet my, and yet my parody song 50 Films with Danny Glover, I parody a 50 W to leave your lover.

They never remember. Yeah, I think they're calling these notorious little jibbred. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where does it get? It's already writing an angry letter into us.

Yeah, it's deer serves. Have I ever seen that? Someday I'll have to sing that song on the other podcast. 50 films with Danny Glover. I have to look up all the lyrics. Yeah, I like that. Here's part of the chorus. Yeah, I like that. Here's part of the course.

There's lethal weapon three, lethal weapon four, a Thor, lethal weapon two, Lou. Now listen to me. Oh, that's sort of, you might think that he's in Thor, which he's not though. No, no, that's true.

There's only so many names that rhyme with. Is there a five-clive rhyme in there at any point? Well, was there a lethal weapon five? I don't think so. I think I didn't think they made it a five. No, I guess they only went up to four. Topped out of four. Part four is the one with jelly, right?

Yes. And part three is the one with the top killer bullets, right? I don't really remember it's free that well. Which one is diplomatic immunity? That's part two. That's part two. There's a proposed lethal weapon five, but it's, you know, but they said no at the altar. Yeah.

Wow. They waited all the way to the alt. So they agreed to the proposal and they waited for the wedding to be planned. There you go. Engaged. Yeah. Wow. That makes that's too bad. That happens. I lose canon. Yeah.

Okay. So I feel like do we have any more thoughts on that fruit as dessert guys because all this movie talk has me, Hankerin, to do chapter three. That's right. We're talking fruit fruit on film where the real star of the show is fruit. Did you spell real are EEL? Yes. Oh, good. That's awful to know. Obviously, obviously, one of my favorite movies, to real department. Yeah. One of my favorite movies also features one of my favorite uses of fruit

in a movie. That's right. This scene in in call me by your name where old Timmy, she's just all over that peach. That's nothing. Yeah. You mentioned nuts again. I was thinking about it. I was doing a bit of it.

Well, I was trying to do a bit of research into fruit in the movie. So I didn't and with going on almost no information for me. So I'm impressed. And actually, one of the, one of the, the fruit moment I remembered was, was from Columbia, very name. And I think, yeah. Okay. Is it, is it wrong to say it's a bit gross, even at like whether you're straight

or gay or whatever, to, that when, when army, hammer, eats the fruit, which has or gay or whatever, that when when army hammer eats the fruit, which has been just into it, that's a bit gross. Well, I mean, I think it's a little, I feel like it's a little intense. Like, I don't know, I'm not going to kink shame anyone, but the idea of your, yeah, a, at this point, I think it's like a, any, any piece of food that has been fucked and then eaten is a little interesting. And actually, for me to say that is actually ridiculous. And I got to take it back because, of course, my career was made.

Yeah, good point. Good point. On fruit being. You have intimate professional knowledge of gizz inside of a food-based dessert. And again, I have to say, Chris, I don't whoever told you that about pie versus sexual intercourse. I don't understand. Okay, not for the first time in my life, may I say that I did not write the script of American life.

I don't know how I answer. You did write the naked milder, right? I was just trying to, my life of naked quarter mile at a time. The Jericho naked mile. I imagine you were handed the script from American Pie, the script is handed to you by the studio mogul, he goes, Chris, I got your next assignment right here. And you're reading through and you go, but boss, but boss, for China, it's nothing like a hotdog. Yeah, yeah, I thought it was like information to the youth of America.

I thought it was like how Moses went up and came back with the script for American pie. Yeah. And he came back and he ended it. It was handed from the Israelites. The Israelites were all having sex with a golden cat. And he said, no, no, guys, it's a pie. We got to use a gold novel. My brother and I were just trying to deliver on the premise, you know,

and so if there was going to be a scene in which a boy has sex with a pie, we were going to make it the best M version of it we could. I mean, you have to include that scene because otherwise the name of the movie makes no sense. Well, actually up until pretty late in the process, the studio wanted to call it comfort food. It's a terrible name. It's a pretty bad name, yeah. That's terrible. It doesn't even tell you what country it's from. Now, here's the thing about that call me by your name thing.

Again, I've stated I don't like fruit. I don't enjoy it. I don't. I've never eaten a semen, but the fact that it is closer to meat makes that fruit a little more attractive to me. I gotta be honest. I'd rather eat an animal product of some kind,

even if it's in the first place. Yeah, this is the kind of, we're talking fruit after dark. This is the kind of hot talk we can get into. Now, was there ever any argument with the studio Chris about what kind of pie it was going to be? Never. Actually, that's one of that.

No, that was never a problem. There were eventually with the Apple farmers who were loving hard to be an Apple pie. Well, everyone was thinking about how with ET, they should have used M&Ms, but instead it was Reese's Pieces for various reasons. So I imagine there was a big fight over it. Yeah, who kind of pie, you know, who's what's the going to be the one in psychonic, you

know, this. You can't, if you use a meat pie, it kind of defeats the purpose. It's not a joke at that point. Well, there was a big, so big pitch from big strawberry and big rhubarb that came in together. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Perfect there. And then, and then the key lime people came in, they said, hey, what do we have to do to make this

key lime? We're just going to leave this briefcase of money and buys on the table. It's such an acidic pie to try and have. It took me a long time to figure out that like a key lime is a specific thing. Like it wasn't like, yeah, that like it was a lime pie that was key. Yeah, as a kid, I assumed the same thing. Yeah, there was a certain kind of lime pie. That was kind of lime.

Well, that was, yeah, thinking the 70s they had key lime pie. I'm kidding. It's worse. Everyone thinks about the pie. Yeah. If you ate everyone, you had to put your key in a pie.

And then everyone would pull the keys out of the key and then you'd wash the keys because it was Discussing yeah, and then Elijah would get hit with a lighting bowl or something, right? Just telling you what I saw in the movies And this is fruit on film that's what we're talking about That's why that's why for the rest of the movie he has magnetic powers. He's like Ernest goes to Ernest goes to jail, right? That's the one where he goes to jail. Yeah. But that's when we get magnetic powers from electricity. Yeah. What a good not as opposed to Ernest goes to American pie,

the one where Ernest has sex with the pie. He gets I wouldn't put it past him. He keeps saying feels like a vagina. You know, I mean, okay. So that's been fruit on film anymore, any more favorite fruits in the movies. I was going to I wanted to give a shout out to the classic moment in public enemy, where where James Cagney shoves a grapefruit into I think it's May Clark's face. I could be wrong about that. And you know, it was a very famous moment for a long time. And as a kid, I didn't, I was a kid. I was a teenager when I saw that.

I didn't realize because I don't like fruit how much that would hurt because it's again acidic. Quite a acidic fruit. It would have been really painful, not as painful as the hot coffee to the face from the big heat, a different gangster movie from about 20 years later, but still really painful. So James Cagney, I don't like that you did that. I know it's a fictional character that did it. And the whole point was that he's a million, but still.

I had a favorite on film thing, which was oranges. Yes, please. Oranges in the Godfather. Oh, yeah. It's a sign of impending doom or weakness. And Elliot, that must have really freaked you out when Marlon Brando uses some orange rind and puts it over his cheek. And he puts it in his mouth and goes, er, and then dies.

And it's like, if I was doing that, I'd be like, take me away now so I can get away from this orange peel, kill me now, sure. I don't want to, God, this is the moment. But I always feel bad for that kid because he has to assume that he caused it to happen. A whole man, so much therapy for that kid, right? He doesn't seem bothered at the time though. You know, I see, he, he, he, So do you think it was more the kid was like,

Justice has been done in notorious mobster, is finally taken from us? He was, yeah, he was working for the FBI, I think. But yeah, it is, it's such a great movie. That's such a great movie, and I just wish he didn't put that orange peel on his mouth because I think it's so gross Everything else about the movie is nearly perfect the worm floor I think in terms of pure square footage. We got a mention we got a mention that giant peach from James the giant peach fruit You can live in that's true fly around I'm Full of bugs. I'm combining with a call me by your name in my mind. Well, if James was of us, if James was of a certain

age, then that peach would have been filled with you. But I think he's not quite old enough yet. I thought you're going to say Dan, the, the tomatoes and attack of the killer tomatoes, those get pretty big after a certain point, right? Yeah. And that's technically a fruit. Yeah. And that's technically a fruit. Yeah, not, I mean, it's not as big a thing. Cause I mean, you know what, I've never seen that. I can't speak to, I mean, that giant peach is pretty giant.

That's why they mentioned it in the title so that people know going into it, they were like, we have to one people, how big this peaches or else they are going to be shocked. We don't want people having heart attacks in the theater when they realize how big the peaches. Yeah. So we're changing the title from James and the peach to James and the giant peach. If we like people being scared that the train is coming through the screen at them, it's there. We're into the peach is actually reached that size. James and the peach doesn't really move book soft shelves though. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. James and the regular

style peach. Just like there's a guy named James out there being like, what this is just my, you know, regular day. Well, I need to read this book. It just had a peach. Well, that's the, I think, raw doll. He was like, James is what's going to sell the books. People are going to wonder who this James carried. Yeah. Is that it?

It's like, no, no, no, no. Another piece, another, another fruit on film I've got to mention when Nicholas Cage says he can eat a peach for hours. We don't see it happening. But, you know, the image of the cultures of it. Yeah, it's gross. Oh boy. Gross, I don't know, it depends.

Yeah, I mean, Dan, can you just say that you've never seen a tag of the killer tomatoes? I've never seen a tag of the killer. Have you seen Return of the Attack of the Killer, the main star in Georgia? I've seen dance like I did and I was so lost. Yeah, it takes yeah, you really got to understand the first film even though they do summarized it in the opening moment. So return. Well, I tell people I tell people all the time if you're going to watch return of a tackle of the killer tomatoes, you got to watch a tackle of the killer tomatoes. You got to watch Juan division. You got to watch some episodes, the inhumans just to get some of that stuff.

Yeah, but you got to watch the two tomatoes a got to watch some episodes that's in humans just to get some of that stuff. Yeah, yeah, watch. But you got to watch the two tomatoes the second and the trilogy because you know, like do you know which tomato is returning? Yeah, yeah, yeah, e tomato tambien.

So any any more fruit on the film? I don't know. Teenage boys in a tomato go on a journey just to discovery. Not unlike the plot of return of the attack that you let him out. Yeah.

Okay. So at this point, we got a little word from our sponsors and I'm going to throw it over to Dan. The flop house is sponsored in part by trade coffee,. Trade Coffee is expert taste testers, partner with the country's best craft roasters to keep 450 different kinds live and ready to ship every day. There's no one perfect coffee, but there is a perfect coffee for you and trades human-powered algorithm. We'll find it. Trade is so confident, they'll match you right the first time that if they don't, they'll take your feedback and an actual coffee expert

will work with you to send a brand new bag for free. It's like having a coffee genius bar to have that sort of thing happen. You know, and I had some of this coffee, not such a coffee person that I normally would be like, I got to tell people at this coffee, but this coffee was really good. I enjoyed the coffee quite a bit. Right now, trade is offering new subscribers a total of $30 off your first order, plus free shipping when you go to drinktrad.com slash flop, that's more than 40 cups of coffee for free. Get started by taking their quiz at drinktrad.com slash flop and let trade find you a coffee, you'll love. That's drinktrad.com slash flop for $30 off.

And don't forget about Father's Day coming up. A trade subscription is the perfect gift for the coffee lovers in your life. I know that fathers are often the hardest to shop for. This seems like a good idea. And we're also sponsored by Lumilabs. Micro dosing. That's a thing that people are talking a lot about.

We're including me in this ad for microdosing, Louis Labs. Now you've probably heard about my does because that's kind of how I feel after the beginning of that read. You've probably heard about microdosing. If you search right a bit on the internet, you'll find all sorts of people are microdosing to feel healthier and perform better. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies. Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of T.C. that help you feel just the right amount of good. You don't want to impair yourself. You want to maybe chill out. You want to maybe think some interesting thoughts. Enjoy your evening. You want to

sleep better. You want to get rid of the same anxiety. There's a lot of reasons why you might enjoy a microdose gummy. These gummies are available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Just do a quick search online or go to microdose.com and use code flop, F L O P, free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, that's microdose.com code flop. Hey, we also have a Jujujumbo-Tron. Chicago is a city built of brick, of course, but also of people, history, policy, fashion, and fire. On a brick of Chicago walking tour,

you'll get up close with the buildings that define neighborhoods and hear the stories of the people, the famous, the infamous, and the anonymous, who made them what they are. Afterwards, you'll never look at the built world or the humble brick. The same way again. Brick of Chicago tours have been named some of Chicago's best by PBS, Curbed, and the Chicago Reader. So visit brickofshicago.com to sign up for a tour and follow at Brick of Chicago on Instagram. Having recently been to Chicago, it's a fantastic town and definitely worth checking out. Yeah, Chicago is great.

I like going there. Hey guys, should we announce our big Chicago project? What's that? Sure. We don't have one. What should it be? Oh, I don't know. We'll do a show.

There's a bit of read. Maybe we'll do a show. Yeah, maybe we'll do a show where we perform alongside Chicago with a band. Let's talk about it. I don't know how we would do a show. There's a reenighted band Chicago. Yeah, maybe we'll do a show where we perform alongside Chicago of the band. Let's talk about it. I don't know how we would do that, but let's figure it out. Hey, with the meantime, I have a jumbo tron

that I can make. Oh, okay. Okay, this is a jump message for Dylan Dawson and the message is from Heather Robb and it says, Hey, Dylan, happy only slightly belated anniversary. Thanks for COVID marrying me and having a COVID child with me.

I know this is very corny and I'm sorry to embarrass you in front of your friends, Dan Elliott and Stewart, but you will always and forever be a movie I kind of love. Deal with it. Sweet message. That's adorable. She married a movie. She married a movie. That's the name of my movie. So we married a movie? Yeah, yeah. So we bought a movie zoo. And then married it.

All right. That was a perfect ending. To a perfect day. You're in a theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend.

Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she just stand up to her old god do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Khrushiola, for the podcast Bealing Scene. We've talked to author Susan Orleen on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Harry Contabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians. So join me every Thursday for the

Beelings Scene podcast here on Maximum Fun. Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them? Maybe you want to know the best ones to play? Maybe you want to know what happens to Mario when he dies? In that case, you should check out Triple Click. It's a podcast about video games.

A podcast about video games? But I don't have time for that. Sure you do. Once a week, kick back as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases. To scoops, interviews, and explanations about how video games work. To fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love. Triple Click is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton.

Me, Jason Shire. And me, Maddie Myers. You can find Triple Click wherever you get your podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye! And we're back! Find triple click wherever you get your podcasts and listen at maximumfun.org. Bye. And we're back. Thanks so much. Thanks so much for supporting Fruit and All's Forms, those sponsors.

So we're gonna move on to chapter four. That's right. We're gonna be talking about reversal of fortune. You know, sometimes your king of the world, sometimes you're down in the dumps. Uh. Uh. There. There. There.

There. Was there, was there times hard times? When you were a child, Elliot, I'm assuming your parents force you to eat fruit, and that is what led you to hate all fruit of all kinds. It's possible. I mean, I'm sure I ate fruit as a baby. I don't really remember it well.

I've blocked out a lot of the years before I turned about three and a half. I assume because it was so traumatic to eating that fruit. I just don't remember what it was like when I was like a six month old. I remember drinking a lot of apple juice and never really liking it. Do you like other kinds of juice? It's Coca-Cola juice. I like whiskey, is that a juice? I like whiskey, is that a juice? Okay, that's fair then. But other than that, I think pretty early on, my parents understood that this one leave him alone because he is bad to the bone when it comes to fruit.

Okay. Otherwise, a very conscientious young man. So you have not changed at all. Now when I was a kid, I was very, I did- If anything, I've probably gotten more intolerant. Yeah. I actually know that's not true. That's not uncommon for people.

If I, if that's true, I was, when I was young, I was real open-minded about fruit, but once I started watching Fox News, it really made it difficult for me. But I think, if any, actually, I maybe have become more open-minded than that. If I see that an item on a menu mentions some kind of fruit, I will check with my wife to see if she thinks that it's a major component. If it's just there to add acid or something like that, that's okay. I don't like the taste of lemons,

but I love cream spinach and pretty much all-cream spinach has lemon juice in it, so I had to come to terms with that. And I did, yeah. Yeah. Wait, lemon juice is an issue for you. I mean, I guess lemon juices can be super acidic. Now, so when you're watching drinking lemonade, I don't like citrus taste.

So when you're watching, when you're watching like an episode of Top Chef and anybody even mentions, but he fruit an additional like fuck that. You're out. I hope they vote you off. You know what? I say, maybe I want to make sure it's the judge's decision. It's why I do keep a bucket in front of me so I can vomit into it whenever they mention fruit. Because I am a regular top chef viewer,

but there are a lot of times when they're like, I made a chicken thigh with lard on, and I'm like, oh, that sounds great. And there's a pomegranate sauce, and I'll just go forget it, not interested anymore. Change the channel, mute. Cancel show. Cancel cable subscription

the TV is wrote I throw it at the window you burn the house down I changed my name right Jack reaturing around the country with nothing to my name but the close of my back Jack Reacher. For me, when I was a kid, I hated oranges and orange juice. I think part of it was the ass. And part of it was like the pulp and orange juice. And at some point, I made up that I was, I would tell people that I was allergic to oranges to the point that like years later, my mom thought I was allergic to oranges to the point that like years later my mom thought I was allergic to oranges because I just kept saying it.

But I eat oranges plenty now. I have one almost every day. I think it was Gerbels who said if you're a pedaly long enough, it becomes the truth. So that's what you did. Yeah. I learned from the best. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to

I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to

I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to

I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to fruits one that is not actually a fruit, but people think of it as a fruit and one that is a fruit, but people don't think it was a fruit. Wow. I don't feel like it's a riddle that I have to answer to cross the bridge somewhere. My mom always loved straw berries, which are technically not fruits because they've

the seeds on the other side. That's a draw. I want to tell you those things also where it's like, who made that rule? Nature didn't make that rule. I don't know. Do you know what nature did make that rule. I know. I mean, what are the vegetables? I don't know. Oh, but the hell are that.

Strawberries are just freaks, yeah. But it's like if a chicken was inside out, that's what strawberries are. If they have their seeds on the outside, then they're basically like fish, right? Yeah, yeah, it's a fish. I. They're classified as a land fish. It's not like I didn't like strawberries as a kid, but my mom fish. I, the class of I does a land fish. It's not like I didn't like strawberries as a kid, but my mom would be like, mm, strawberry,

like it was the best treat in the world. And now that I'm an adult and I have to like, you know, make reasonable choices with my life, I, I, much more understand how a minor thing can feel like the best treat in the world. Sure, yeah, just a little bit of joy in this horrible veil of tears that we existed. Yeah.

But also the other one is avocado, which when I was a kid did nothing for me. And then along the line I realized I'm like, oh, this is like the plant world's like butter. It's basically what it is. I'm thinking of it as like a vegetable or fruit and started thinking of it as like this is a source of fat that gets put on things. It's the first plant that saw the light and was like I want to be like meat.

Meat's where it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's interesting you mentioned strawberries. I have a child. I have a lot of childhood memories about strawberries because my family thought it was so much fun to go strawberry picking in New Jersey. There's a lot of strawberry patches. They thought it was so much fun to go strawberry picking and they would not There's a lot of strawberry patches. They thought it was so much fun to go strawberry picking.

And they would not let me bring a book with me. So I would just stand there watching my family pick strawberries, hating every moment of it as I sweat it in the sun. And then they would be like, isn't this fun? I would say, no. Very boring. And now there's a place near LA called... There place near LA called Underwood, there's a place called Underwood Farms where you go and you pick, you know, fruit and stuff.

And my kids are always want to go there. And my wife is like, yeah, we can go there and she turns to me and she goes, I know this is triggering for you. That's so fun. And she says that. And it's going to be okay. This is like an Amnit Shyamalan origin story of like somebody, you know, a super villain. Mm-hmm.

Hey, it's Fridge. They call me Mr. Strawberry. Okay, so, man, Chris, do you have anything that you like now that you hate it as a can? Well, first of all, all these edge scenarios of like avocados, cucumbers, strawberries, are they vegetables? Are they are they free? Just freaking me out a little. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm a bit turned around, but mangoes. Sorry that you have we we've been living in that liminal zone of we're not sure if things are for the rest of us.

Yeah. It's weird, but Mango's, I feel like, I would have liked Mango's if I'd known about them as a kid, but I feel like Mango's have really come to occupy a pretty big role in my life. Now they're a little fibrous, but I feel like with Mango's, it's really important for me to get a, like a really good ripe one. Good ripe one. Yeah. And on ripe mangoes, a bummer.

I'm not right mangoes, is a bummer. But also if you get this, this sort of Southeast Asian mangoes, or the South Asian mangoes, like the smaller ones. Uh-huh, man, you're not, you're not looking at fiber there as custody. Okay. Yeah. It's good to know. Chris, you're a well-traveled person.

Have you ever had durian? I've never had durian. I have read about it. I have the stinking of the world. I've seen all this from the distance, yes. It's supposed to be like eating custard in a bathroom. Yeah, it's a big topic conversation in my house. Every now and then, my younger son will become obsessed

with the idea of eating a sum specific fruit for a while. He was demanding leachies and we didn't have any in the house. He would throw tantrums and then eventually, luckily, I was able to go to a Vietnamese wedding and went to a Vietnamese market in California afterwards and in the neighborhood and could bring him leachie and he had one and he said, I like it and then he never talks about it ever again. But Dureen is a constant question with him and he talks about it all the day. And he always says, I want to try it, but not smell it. And he thinks that's very funny.

But I was wondering if it actually, if it smells as bad as it's supposed to. I've, I've had it. I mean, I was asking Chris. But so Dan, what was your experience with it? I mean, he asks someone with whose wife is from the Philippines. That's a good point. That's very enough. Okay, I'm just trying not to, I'm not trying not to stereotype or, you know,

nobody I had it at her family's place. It's a, I mean, I would say that Audrey told me the one that we had was not a particularly good specimen of it. It does taste a little funkier, like people describe it, you know, being more like cheese adjacent, custard adjacent, like you said. I was not wild about it. It does say it's better than it smells.

Like she talks about, you know, like if you cut it up, like people would do definitely do it outside or like they, you know, in the Philippines, there's often, they have like an outdoor kitchen area that that definitely would happen rather than. And so do you hold your nose while you eat it? Or are you just like that? Do you eat holes? cover your face while you eat it? Not at a shame. So God doesn't say you eating it. The smell is, the smell is kind of like, let's say, a middle school locker room level of smell.

Like it's definitely a bad smell, but it's not like you're like, your stomach is being turned by like rotten garbage. Yeah. Is it like limber or cheese? Yeah, it's more along that zone, I would say. Because I always, I always imagined that it smelled like like a rotting thing, like something really disgusting. I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't say that.

Oh. Okay, well, hey listeners, if you have a durian talk, if you also have durian opinions, right in, this is durian Dan the durian man He is full on five opinions on durian Listen to my spin spin-off podcast durian dancing Nobody puts durian in a corner when Dan's around Yeah, you need room for the air air flow. Okay, so

That of course means this brings us to chapter five. That is right. I forgot that it was five chapters. All time, top five favorite fruits. That's five. I'm gonna be keeping Italian. We're gonna see what is the, which fruits get the most votes? Elliot, I feel like yours is going to be pretty short.

Yeah, I know that I can fill out the five. Okay, so Elliot, when we get these top five, sure, let's put two numbers to Meadows. Let me clarify. Again, this is based on categories. Mouth feel, flavor, ease of consumption, appearance, etc. You're not rating them on those scales, but those are things that keep in mind when voting.

Yeah, so I'm going to start with cucumbers tomatoes. They're as close as you can get to not being a fruit and still be a fruit. That's great. I'm going to put snaz berries on there from Willy Wonka because it's not real. So I never have to eat it or smell it or handle it. It's not a real fruit. Yeah, then I think I'm tapped out. So that's two extra slots if anyone else wants to use them. One, two, three. Okay, wow. Okay, two cumbers are number three. Interesting. Okay, no, cucumbers would be number one for me. Okay, snows. I wasn't counting down. I wasn't counting. I should have. But sorry, we got cucumbers snows. Where was the third one? I'm sorry. I was made

it. I'm made it. You know what? You know what? I'm going to put our pumpkins a fruit or they're gourd. They have to use on the inside. I know. I know. I'm going to say if it's a fruit, I'm going to say pumpkin's not to eat because you can carve them up and make a spooky face. We're in there. No.

Now if I could, if I could do that with more food to eat. Oh, if I could, if I could carve a spooky face onto more fruit, maybe I'd like it more. Now I'm going to call you out on your bullshit this time, Elliot, because you said that you would like more fruit to be used for spooky faces. But in the Godfather, you think that's terrible. Well, yeah, okay. Not oranges, oranges are gross. There's nothing, there's a few things that are more personally gross to me than being

in like a work meeting and someone decides to eat an orange. The smell, I don't like it all. And then just seeing them put a pile of gross peel with little stringy things falling off of it onto like the table that we're all sitting at for the meeting, it's just gross. So you know what, you're right, you caught me in a contradiction there and I totally own up to it and I hope the voters can see past it when the election cut time comes around in November, but you're right. I did not like the spooky face that he, he used that orange. We're going to do a quick side category, guys. What is the snack food you least like people do enjoy in your presence? Yeah, for me, it's oranges. I'm going to follow Ellie up because I have one right on the tip of my nose. That's

right. Just original recipe Cheer nose. That's right. Does original recipe Cheerios. No, thank you. Makes their breath smell. It just smells bad. Not a fan. It's true. It's like it.

Get out of here. I don't need kids around me. Does gum count as a snack because I don't like the loud chewing of gum. Interesting. Is gum a snack? It's more of an activity for your mouth. Yeah. It's not eating it.

Yeah. Okay. Well, then my least favorite snack food is anything that sounds like someone's chewing gum. Okay. I think for me, it's, it's what it not shows. No, no, Doritos, right? But with the powdery stuff that comes off on their fingers. Oh, yeah. Powdery Doritos. Does that also include like cheese doodles? But those are, those are good. I can end up with that. Wow. I never, I never, this is a big disc, disc, disc, disc

disagreement between you and me on the goodness of Doritos. Okay. So, I think it's Dan's turn. Why don't you give us your top five fruits. Do you want to go starting with five or start with one, Dan? What? What, what? What do you want to do? I'm going to do a conference to build up the top five fruits, baby. To build up the excitement about what the number one. I'm giving all of them at the same time, though, like Elliott did. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to start with one. I'm going to start I'm going to start with one. I'm going to start.

And I'm also going to specify that this is just, my ranking is top five fruits of fruits that I would eat on their own. Like in a, in a, like a culinary sense, like I probably use limes the most often. But, but you know, that's what's saying, that's like, you don't lie on its own. Yeah, that's like if people are like, what are your favorite foods and you're like,

salt, I use it all the time. Although I do love the idea if somebody just chomping down on a fucking line. That's something little kids love to do, little kids love eating lines. Balkers, lines are so expensive right now. The kids don't know that. Yeah, be care.

Kids like old bars. Limes for your health. Okay, top, top one. I have mango here. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah. I think I follow it up with pineapple. You get some fresh pineapple.

You inspire like pretty fun. We're moving into my berry section here. With a. I put, I, you know, I put strawberry up. Edging out the next one of my list, which is raspberry. Those are very close. Wow. And then in, did you, did you dock raspberry because it my list, which is Raspberry. Those are very close. Wow. And then in.

Did you, did you dock Raspberry because it spelled Raspberry, which is here? Yeah, that's good. I think, you know, what I think I probably like the flavor of a really good Raspberry better than Strawberry, but you get, you know, it's hard. They they rot quicker. They're smaller.

They're a lot you get less, you know, there's, there's disadvantage to the raspberry. I will say when, when we get, we, we get a lot of fruit in the house for, for the children and the raspberries, they have to eat them fast, so they just become, yeah, just like liquid muck. And, uh, number five, we got a dark horse in here, uh, a, a, no horse is not a fruit Dan. A kiwi fruit.

Oh, kiwi. Okay, Dan, that's an impressive top five Chris you're our guest you're the fruit brewed in his case. Let's let's get your top five Mango also I was just reverse order by the reverse order to build up tension and excellent Okay, so number five is mango number five mango up tension and next time. Okay, so number five is mango. Number five, mango. How does that grudge? Number, I wrote them down. Now, as Dan's number one, I believe. Yeah. No, wait, no, sorry. Actually, mangoes might, mangoes might run her up, but forget, I said that, okay. Okay, okay. Number five. So mango didn't make it on the first line. No, it did did it did it's just it's just higher rank than I then I

Number five blueberries Number four boobs number four figs Wow Number three watermelon Watermuchis perfect another favorite the Kaelin household number Number two number two mango the afore mango, moving up with a bullet. Number one, check this out. Have you ever had a sapote? No!

I think that's indigenous to Mexico, but my grandma had a sapote tree in her backyard. And that is very custardy and delicious. Imagine what you'd imagine a durin would taste like, but without a bad smell, with a good smell. That's a sepote. Look at him. Look at a picture. I realized I have some, I have some extra like a persimmon.

Yeah, actually, I think it might be a cousin of a persimmon. What is a persimmon taste like? Cause I've only experienced person in the video game Sekiro, which doesn't allow me to actually taste them. Not yet. What's kind of like if you mixed a purse with Bill Simmons? Interesting. Okay. Sounds successful.

I'd say it tastes a bit papaya, sometimes, but sometimes there's a weird kind of acidic, no, no, acidic, sort of bitter taste to it. If you don't get one that's just right. If you cut it open, it definitely looks very papaya. I have no idea what it's related to. You've just heard of it. Yeah.

Sorry, sorry, that my vast research couldn't give us all of the information about fruit. Can I add something to my fruit list? I think I still have two. Yeah, you got two slots. You have one slot because you added pumpkins that you can turn into a death mask. For the last slot, I'm gonna say the guys

in the fruit costumes in the old fruit of the loom commercials. I remember the kids being know, was pretty funny. Okay, fruit, oh, yeah. It's not to eat, but to watch in a commercial. They kind of cast a bunch, sort of, shlubby guys, as I recall. They were, they're sort of like, I think that was, you know, ordinary Joes as fruits.

You could imagine them wearing the product. They're not some handsome male model who's gonna have fancy underpants. These are guys who are gonna wear fruit of the loom underpants. Right. Okay, I'm gonna say, my list going to be kind of boring, guys, because I've already seen some of these listed.

Number five is going to be mangoes. I love them when you find a good one. It is great, but I don't always have luck finding good ones. Yeah. Next one is going to be bananas. I love bananas. I eat a ton. They're great. I like them a little mushy. I like them a little not mushy. Perfect. And it comes with its own wrapper.

Thanks for Cameron. That was one of my, you remember that there was that video going around? Yeah, where you assume that how banana is designed by God for you to eat it. And the guy he's with'm like, you remember that there's that video going around here where you're talking about how banana is designed by God for you to eat it. And the guy he's with is like, when you hold a banana, it curves towards your mouth. Like it's telling you to eat it. Like, it's like, well, not if you hold it the other way, though. Like, if you hold it the other way, it's like God's saying, don't eat this. I'm keeping it away from your mouth.

It's just such a funny argument. Number three is, honeydew melon. I love that shit. Yeah, that's good. That's a great melon. That's a good one. Number two pairs. We haven't talked about pairs at all. This entire I fucking love pairs. It's like the right consistency for me. The flavor profiles a little more mellow than like an apple. It's not as sharp, big fan. And I like the Stewart that you the little play on words did there by making pairs number two. Yeah, that was intentional. Thank you for picking that up, Elliot. And then number one,

it's already been mentioned, but I love watermelon. I can't get enough. Eat in chunks. We currently at hinterlands, we just got a frozen drink machine. And it's one of those like big multi, like two hopper machines. It's just constantly rotating the slushy frozen cocktails. One of them is a strawberry frozen margarita. It's great, but we put on a fresh watermelon frosé that is actually like smashed up actual watermelon. And it's delicious. And so I spent the whole weekend chopping watermelons.

And you know what, for a lesser man and a lesser fruit, I would hate watermelons, but I love it. I'm glad that you made clear that you're not a lesser man. You're not a less than me. You're not a less than me. So I wrote all this down, but I don't actually like doing math

and I've had too many drinks. So listeners at home, why don't you do the math yourself and figure out what's the top fruit? Yeah, that's a bit of interactive. That's a fun. It's that second screen experience that people are looking at. The play at home version of the game show. Go back and take notes. So tell you. And then after you're done taking notes, why don't you come up with your own top five and tweet at LA at Calon.

I'll let him know what your favorite fruits are. And then if you come up with a good list, LA it might even respond and tell you why your list is so great and maybe write you a little poem. And he'll take the... I don't know, none of the... So tweet at me at LA at Cal K on the LLI OTTK and with your fruit list and I promise,

I will tell you to stop. And, but you're gonna do the fruit challenge for charity, right? Where you eat the top five fruits. What, what, what, what, what? What? This is literally, if I ever thought, I don't have the talent to, I like, I don't have the talent to be an actor, but sometimes I'm like, but if I was, I might have to eat fruit in a scene. I don't want to do that.

That's the only thing that's been keeping you from start. Yeah, that's like you'd be a great hockey goalie. Except for all the diarrhea. Yeah, that's like you'd be a great hockey coach. Exhausted. The unfair to the other teams too. It was partly the diarrhea and partly it'd be unfair to the other teams for me to bring that kind of power in. Guys, we've had a lot of fun tonight.

We've talked a lot about a lot of fruit. We've talked about a lot of fun tonight. We've won. Yeah, everybody had fun tonight, whether or not Lister is right in and let us know whether we achieved wank chunks tonight. Any closing thoughts? So we think that song, the wank, wank chunk was just the name of the band, right? Like it wasn't a dance.

Yes, that's the band's name. So when they say everybody wank chunk tonight, what is that sentence being? They're inviting us all to be part of their band. Oh, well, I like that. That's inclusive. Did you get your class action suits? That'll matter for the money. And that song.

You're entitled to residual. What was that? Did that song get 20 cents? Did that, did that song come out before they did the score for to live in Dianne L.A. I have to assume so. So do you think that William Friedkin's like, since now I'm a member of Wang Chung, if they do the score to my movie, it'll be free. Then, then if they win the Oscar, I'll get one too.

Oh, I'm not asking for the band. That's the scheme. That's the long time. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You know what? I apologize to any fruits that I overlooked because there are a lot of great ones out there. Yeah.

Oh man, that's so big. I'll take it. Elliot, you're the descending voice in this one. Any, any final thoughts, closing thoughts? I do. I, there is part of me that the older I get, takes pleasure in seeing other people experience the variety of fruit out there. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that wishes I didn't find fruit disgusting,

because it's definitely closing me off from a large part of eating and something that's very healthy. But I am what I am, as Popeye said, when he ate spinach, a food I liked, I find it not fruit, I don't like it, and I think it's gross gross and sticky and I don't like the smells, textures, mouth feel, taste or the way it looks to be honest. So I apologize. It's just baked into me. It's the way it's, it's just like a pie, you know. Sure. Yeah, I like, I want to look at a, I want to look at a, like one of the red, like a blackberry with all those weird little hairs coming out of it and things like that. No, thank you. No, thank you, sir. Chris, I think you got anything to bring us home here?

I mean, I just want to thank you for asking me along to this. Oh, we got to, we got to just just have it to be your message, okay? Yeah, that's the, yeah, so You can show us. Glad we could waste your time both as a guest and then later as a listener when you listen to the episode. Well, I mean, the great thing is that I didn't have to bathe the children. So that was good. Honey, the kids need to be paid. I have to learn about proof.

I need to get my top five together. America needs to know the tightest top. So much fun. Oh, God, I love fucking with you guys. So for the flop house, I've been Stewart Wellington. Thank you so much for the Max Fun Network, our editor, who will hopefully piece this together into something that sounds great is Alex Smith. You can find him as Howell Daudy on Twitter and other places.

Yeah, Chris, do you got anything you want to plug? Yeah, my movie, which will be coming out maybe in a year and a half when something's done with it. Yeah, keep it. Yeah, keep it. So listen, what you need to do is set yourself a calendar notification for a year and a half from now and listen to it again and then go see the movie which might still be called

home. If if if I make it, I don't get fired and they don't change the name. Okay. Should we still see it if you get fired and don't make it and they change the name? No, absolutely not. Yeah, let's vote with our dollars and say no whites, no dice. Yes, right. We're not going to see this movie. Okay, so I've been Stewart Wellington.

I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Elliot Kaelin, also co-host of the Who Was Podcast, a kids quiz show about history that's on the I Heart Network available wherever the hotcasters are sold, isn't it say. Wherever a podcast are downloaded and which we also have an episode where I talk about how I don't like fruit. So don't worry, that if you thought I wasn't going to address the issue on that, the who was podcast and joining us has been... Chris White's, no podcasts, just a podcast cast, but happy to be here.

Bye!