The Flop House - FH Mini 60 - StuStu's Podcast Adventure

Episode Date: August 6, 2022

Stuart tries to explain JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to Dan and Elliott. Are they more confused afterward than they were at the beginning? Perhaps! Thank you to Policygenius for their sponsorship.

Hey there, boils and ghouls. This is Stuart Wellington of the Flop-House Podcast. We're doing one of those flop-House minis this week. That's where we on our off weeks, instead of doing our normal show where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. We're going to be doing something a little bit different tonight. We're going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. Once again, I'm Stuart Wellington and joining me as always are my co-hosts who will introduce themselves now, Dan McCoy. And Elliot Kaelin. And I want to warn everybody

this is gonna be an extra fun episode because I have a lingering cough. Oh, that usually equals fun. So I make cough sometimes. Yeah, sometimes when Stuart is very drunk, those are good episodes. And sometimes when Dan is getting over being sick, yeah, just bring some kind of strange energy out of.

For some reason, we can do all three of those at one time. Oh, doggy. Oh, wow. So if this is your first time listening to this show. What's my equivalent to you being drunk and dan being sick? Just my, I think you're just kind of normally a ball of energy. Okay, ball of energy. I was worried for that sense just going, but what I'm normally.

You're normally a great dude. Yeah, you have full blown ability to make people laugh. Great. Dude, I miss. Okay. So if this is the first time you're tuning in. The most like an incase of good stuff. Yeah, if this is the first time you're tuning in to the podcast, I would highly recommend turning this shit off and listening to a different episode. We have more normal episodes, yeah.

Yes, this is for the real ones, the true faith. Now I'm digging myself in deeper. Yes, this is for the real ones, the true face. Now I'm digging myself in deeper. Okay, so today's episode is something. Part of a series we call Stuart Wellington for complete assembly. Yep, so this is a little flop house, Manny brought to you by Manny's bar and Manny Accom, New York.

And this Manny is as a subtitle, and that is we are titling it, Stu Stu's podcast adventure. That's right, I'm going to be talking about a, one of my, see, I think everybody knows, if you know me, you know that I'm a man of many passions, and that's an appropriate reference to what I'm talking about today.

I'm a man of many passions. The soap opera passions. He loves the soap opera passions. Many seas of passions. So where's your passions? Name some of your other passions. Yeah. Before we get into this wall, Pacific passion tells general what your passions are. Let's see. Creating power points for live podcasts with my two friends. Okay. We're the Warhammer. Warhammer. Oh, who are they?

Okay. What I mentioned, you should ask me questions. I think you're reala. So, so Warhammer, I would say what? George R. Martin, the book's not the shows. Yep. You're, you're, you're pretty good. It's past Greek food.

One of your passions, because I know that you're passionate about fruit, but it's passion fruit specifically. That's a good question, Anne. It's a passion fruit. I would like to direct your attention to the episode titled The Fruit House, where I address my top five favorite fruits. Yeah.

And an episode that seemed to drive you both super mad. Yeah. And you said that the passion of the Christ was a life-changing movie for you? It was. It was life-changing in that my life was different because it was slightly older. Yeah. Yeah.

Afterwards, we were two, somewhat around two hours older. Yeah. Uh-huh. Slightly older. And as soon as the movie was over, you looked in a mirror and you said, but there was time then. Where did the years go? Where did it go?

I looked, yeah, I looked at the mirror. I had a special mirror made just to show, I don't know, I'm not. You're a special mirror made that has a mustache painted on it. So that you look like an old man when you look at it. Yeah, I had to get a special mirror artist to do that for me. Which I was about to start talking about the rehearsal on HBO Max, which I'm not going to talk about. That's going to be for a later thing because, oh boy, that show, woo doggy. Instead I'm talking about a different show or in fact, in this case, I'm going to be talking

about a show and a comic book. That's right. I'm talking about a long running. That's right. Three's company and mouse. Weird pairing. I'm sure it'll all play. I think you can see the story.

Well, this time. I was just reading. I've been reading the book Fun City Santa Maressanly, recently, which Dan got me for my birthday last year. And at one point, they mentioned that there was a double feature that was released where it was Rosemary's baby and the odd couple and it was called the greatest double feature ever when it was released. And it's actually two classic New York stories on one. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't not live up to its name.

Okay, so what I'm talking about today is not that. I'm talking about something completely different. I'm talking about a long-running Japanese intellectual property called Joe Joseph's Bizarre Adventure. The reason I use the term intellectual property is because it began as a serialized a manga and has since been adapted into... Can you define manga for any of our listeners who are in 1987?

Sure. So manga means Japanese comic book. Oh. So. And in fact, that's one of the things I wanted to, before, and it's, in addition to be, it's been adapted into live action films, into original, uh, animate films, and, uh, what is currently going on is a, a, uh is an ongoing animated series. Now, I have mentioned Chojo's bizarre adventure before

and I've made reference to it on previous episodes of the podcast, often to Crickets and no response. Yeah. What? The problem is that we did a number of episodes that were co-hosted with several crickets. That's true. It was hard for them to take part in the conversation because they have to talk by rubbing their

wings together, I think, and crickets right in if I'm wrong. So it was hard to understand what they were saying a lot of the time. And I'm glad that you mentioned several because normally when you go to buy crickets from like a pet store or something and you're like, yeah, can I get, I don't know, like one or two crickets, they're like, sorry dog. It only comes in a giant box full. I remember when I was a kid and I had pet lizards having to go once a week to buy a bag of crickets.

And I would feed the lizards one cricket each a day. But I meant that I had a bag of crickets just in my room all the time. You know what? You know what I remember? My brother had like, also had lizards. And we would, we would walk along the side of the driveway. We would walk along the grass on the side of the driveway because if you stepped, sometimes crickets would jump out onto the driveway where they were easy to pick up and catch.

In retrospect, this memory feels like a memory of a time when there were still bugs in the world. Like when climate change hadn't like so scorched the earth that like, I just don't think that if I like went home right now and I walked along a driveway, there would be enough crickets to feed a pet lizard. I don't know. I think you need to move to California Dan, because I'm constantly finding bugs and spiders in my house.

Yeah. Listers, Listers write in and tell Dan if you have seen a bug recently. I mean, I've got to send it right in until Dan, tell Dan where the good cricket hunting is. I'm aware of it. Over here, we got, we got a bunch of letters from Michael Shannon's character from the movie, Bud. He says he's seen a million of them.

They're under his skin right now. So he hasn't seen them, man, but he feels awesome. I'd say I have a image now, view in your brothers wearing orange hunting vests and hunting caps, creeping along a driveway. Yes, they'll be very, very quiet, quiet. Well, hunting quickets. To Pith helmets. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So, so from the sounds of it, you guys, do you have any understanding of what JoJo's bizarre adventure is about? What is this? I have to be based a lot on your recommendation. I started reading the manga and I quickly found it was not quite for me. Okay. Well, we're going to find out more about that. We'll dig into me. Okay. Well, we're gonna find out more about that. We'll dig into that.

Audrey has watched it. I didn't watch it with her. I assume it is about a man named JoJo and the bizarre adventure or adventures that he has. Yeah, yeah. Now the thing is, JoJo was a man. He was a something, but he let it all. Something something.

Uh-huh. I don't know what he says in the song. I think he is. I know he left his, he left his home to in Tucson, Arizona for something. For some kind of grass. Yeah, which is at this point, the California grass is all dying. There's a big drought. So Joe Joe, don't come here for grass. Go to the East Coast where there's plenty of water.

No, not like. But anyway, do you guys, much experience with manga or watching long running anime series? I will say you know, I'll say yes. Okay, give me some examples. What I don't have to, as I said, no. Oh, Dan doesn't have to. All right.

I haven't watched, do they have to be long-running Japanese animated shows? Yes. Then I guess, you know what, I haven't watched too many of it. Because like, Cowboy Bebobs, not that long a series. But that's the only reason that I haven't seen the examples. OK, but that was, you know, when I was in college, I used my roommate and I used to watch a lot of Cal Wavy Bob.

I've read, and I've read plenty of manga in my time, you know. Look, if Katzer Hero Tom was doing it, I'll read it. That's the best thing. Yeah, he's the master, he's the best. Okay, so we're, we're going to jump right in and we're going to talk up now. The thing about my experience with JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is in no way am I an expert, so I'm not going to get everything right. I describe myself as an enthusiastic amateur or I don't know. And my first exposure was to the OVA, which is another term for like an, like, an animated movie,

basically, that's broken up into parts that came out in the 90s. The OVA and OVA is involved the production of eggs. Oh, okay, interesting. So I got that totally wrong. I bif'd it. Add that one with my Biff column. But in the goose, the goose, the age for Stuart Wellington on IMDB. But that's my Biff's. And I, so I watched the original animation from the 90s that's based on the third part, aka Stardust Crusaders. And I loved it. I thought it was great. I watched it a bunch of times. I think I recommend on this show years ago. It's awesome. And then years later, I was looking for some comics to read and I'm like, you know what, fuck it. Why don't I, you wanna go back?

I like this. Let me go back and start from the beginning. So I read the first couple, I've read the first three series as the Amanga. And then after that, they didn't have all the Amanga's translator put out in these fancy hardbacks. So I started watching the animation. So there's, for series four and five, I only watched the show.

So it's going to be, my experience might be a little different. I might know things as one way or another way, just to give people a little back. Sure. You definitely know things. I'm not, you don't be so hard at this. Thank you. Yeah. And he's seen things.. I mean, I don't be so hard. Thank you. Yeah, and he's seen things. He's seen things he can never forget.

Yeah, exactly. It's a surprise that I haven't torn my eyeballs. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing that Sam Neal got so much acting work after he tore his own eyeballs out because he's a method actor. He does his own stunts.

Well, where he was going, he didn't need eyes anymore as the thing. And where he's going was the Borsches. Yeah. And we didn't end hunt for the Wilder people and he didn't need eyes for those, I guess. Yeah. Uh huh.

It's similar to how Wilder's a Royale guy chops after he threw away all the roads that were created because they didn't need roads in the future. In a way, I wish we didn't need roads because the United States infrastructure is falling to pieces. And preach, brother, let's pedestrianize this whole country, walk end-to-end just like forest gum.

He showed us the way. Yeah, here's the future. Here's the problem. Is this, yeah, he should. Yes. Thank you. Yes. I hear something that a lot of people

don't mention in the Goofs column. At the end of bad future, he says, where we're going, we don't need roads. When you see the future in Baxe, we trip our two. There are lots of roads. Yeah, it's pretty amazing with them. It seems like when you're flying, it's, you know, it's not like you can just fly wherever they're like specific flight paths that are basically sky roads.

Yeah, that's a very good point. That's a very good point. It's actually a good point. I'm starting to think this guy who invented time travel after hitting his head on the sink when he was standing on the toilet might not have it all together. Yeah, I know that don't trust him. Okay, so we're going to jump right in. We're going to, I'm going to explain a little bit about Joe just for jumping in. We're going to jump right in. We're going to raw dog it. I'm going to talk a little bit about Joe Joseph's adventure. I'm going to, there will be some like mild spoilers, but I hope that at the end you will understand a little bit of why I love this property.

Okay. Okay, so I put together a little bit of a slideshow for you guys. So you guys can see some of the beauty of what I'm talking about. Yeah. Let's pull this shit up, and I'm going to start slideshow over here. Now, we have this, this first slide, and this is the introduction. This is the first part of JoJo's Bizarre Venture. Now, something I have to understand is that there are multiple JoJo's and there are many

bizarre adventures. And it's broken up into different series. And it kind of follows roughly multiple generations of the JoStar family. Now JoStar, of course, is a traditional family name, a liverpubbly and family name. Let me start my slides. I mean, that would explain why the Beatles have a song about a guy named JoJo. That's absolutely true. And in fact, you're also going to see through some of the naming conventions that the creator of JoJo's Bizarre Venture, Herokie, Iraqi, is a huge fan

of rock and roll and pop music because he is not, he is not too careful at disguising some of his favorite bands and so on. Now, are you going to get into, I assume at some point, Jojo's Bizarre Venture crosses over with Jojo Rabbit for the larger Jojo verse, for Jojo No Way Home? Uh huh. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. They crosses over. There has been an argument in the case of that. Well, we'll talk about this later. Um, okay. We'll actually get into that when we get into part three start us crusaders. So we're, we're going to talk first about part

one that is fan of blood. And right here, we have this first slide. This is from the opening of JoJo's bizarre adventure. And we are, our story opens in 1880 in Liverpool. Now, which one of these guys just Joe, Joe, that I see here? That's a very good question. That is on the, the fellow on the right with the dark hair is Jonathan, is Jonathan Joe star. And he's holding a book and he's got like a little red bow tie,

very thick neck. I got a lot of these guys are very bill. I got their beef cakes. I got to object to the way this gentleman is dressed with the purple hair because not only like so, there's a, you know, he's wearing a dress shirt with a bow tie and then over that appears to be sort of V neck sweater or sweater vest that's paisley. And then over that, there is a vest. And then over it.

That's like a course at best. Doesn't cover his whole chest. There is sort of a smoking jacket cave. And I think that it's a lot of things going on. I have to. Liverpool is very cold. There's a lot of styles happening here. They should call it JoJo's bizarre layering.

Yes. I'm glad that you're pointing out some of these style choices. Because one of the great things about this series is the, I guess the fashion forward element of the characters. Now, standing over Jonathan Joestar's shoulder is DO Brando. Now DO Brando is his adopted brother. DO Brando's father saved Jonathan's father's life after a carriage accident that took the life of Jonathan's mother.

So he adopted this poor kid, DO Brando, and brought him into the family. Now, the whole part of this story arc is kind of the conflict between Dio and Jonathan. Now, Jonathan's our hero, so of course, he has nothing particularly interesting about him. He's big and tough and smart. Dio on the other hand. If I'm remembering from the comic, he is incredibly naive. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And Dio, on the other hand, is immediately evil. He like, he like beats up a dog early on. He kisses Jonathan's sweetheart. He turns all of Jonathan's friends against him. They fight quite a bit. And as you can see, Adios also holding there, he's holding this like, the stone mask. And now that stone mask gonna be pretty important

because in the course of their struggles, they find out the stone mask is an Aztec artifact and it somehow, when blood is splashed on it, it awakens and if attached attached to a person turns them into a vampire. Okay, that counts as a blood venture. Smoking. Right?

He says, it would be appropriate. Or he'd say at least somebody stopped me, which I should stop him. And that somebody is Jonathan Joestar. Now, when Jim Carrier says somebody stopped me, does that mean that that whole movie is a cry for help? Yes. I mean, many ways. Well, he's a murder. I feel like that's a part of the appeal of Jim Carrey is there's clearly sadness behind his. Oh, it's very much so. Yeah, like we'll fare all. Yeah. So he's a murderer. You mean the mask or Jim Carrey? Well, I think the mask just sort of brings out what's inside to you. As we see in the movie

the mask like, you know, when the bad guy gets it, he just turns into a big like tough guy who like spits out bullets. But when Jim Carrey, you know, who watches tech, savory cartoons, yeah, he turns it like a wolf. He turns into a real cherry pop and daddy. And the dog just pees all over. Kind of daddy. It's worse by far.

Where is God? Yeah. Uh, and nobody knows, and nobody knows what happens when Jamie Kennedy puts on the mass because no one saw that. No, it's a guy. People made it. It's a mystery. Uh, yeah.

If you watch that movie, write in and tell us that you did and that you're a real person, and if you're Jamie Kenney or not, you're not a real person. Sorry, Jamie. Sorry, Jamie. Malguise. So as I said, the conflict between Jonathan Joestar and Dio Brando is central to this. Dio is trying to get Jonathan's father's fortune. He's trying to somehow get his father

to leave his entire fortune to him. And in the process, he poisons Jonathan's father slowly. And then when his, his, his evil deeds are revealed, he becomes a, he puts on the mask, becomes in a moral vampire. And the rest of the series is Jonathan trying to defeat a evil, super powerful vampire dude who kills everything. It's a very gory kind of horror forward story. And he doesn't do it on his own. He enlists the help of some friends. Let's go to the next slide. Okay. We have two more Victorian gentlemen on the left. We have from the, don't come around here no more video. Yeah.

Now it's funny that you bring up Tom Petty because that actually is a, he's a, like a gutter born criminal named Robert E.O. Speedwagon. Oh, wow. Okay. named Robert E.O. Speedwagon. Oh, wow. Okay. Who, you know, he's like a, he's a rap scallion type. He becomes an important figure in the whole universe. He eventually forms a foundation that pays for the Joe Star's family's fight against

evil. And on the right is another gentleman, this is William Zeppily, who is an Italian martial arts master. Sure. Who can harness the power of Hamon, which involves some kind of like careful breathing. Yeah, just ham. The power of ham.

It's spelled very similarly. It's one of those like common, I feel like it's a common thing in martial arts. It's like martial arts fantasy stories to use ham and to use like, like breath control, like breath control is like an all purpose. Like if you can control your breathing, you can, in this case, it's, it gives you like the power of life, which is the opposite of Dio's power of death. You can obviously, you can describe these gentlemen, they're, they're both wearing top hats. They are flashed dressers, checkerboard top hats, figuring common back then.

Zeppelies got the longest cuffs in the world with three, three cuff links on the outside pre-cuff. And big guns, very muscular. Cute charms. They're all kind of dressed like circus performers from like a rock and roll traveling freak concert circus, you know, like every time a band, like Marilyn Manson did like a circus theme, I feel like these would be like the ringmasters, you know, exactly. And that's exactly how you'd imagine a martial arts master from Italy to dress. Now, the, Jonathan, is it an Italian form of martial arts, where he went to the east to learn martial arts, but he's from Italy? You know, I'm trying to remember because it was a while since I read this one, but I feel

like it's, I care, he learned it from a master who will be introduced in the next segment. But it's like, it's his goal to defeat, like, destroy the mask and the creatures that created this stone mask. So I don't, maybe it comes from like the Aztec people, I don't know. I mean, he doesn't have to worry about destroying the mask. The sequel pretty much did that.

The franchise is dead in the water. That's true. So Jonathan and his friends, as we said, fight DODO raises an army of zombies. And obviously one of the highlights, of course, you're in the 1880s. They got to definitely fight a zombie version of Jack the Ripper. Oh, I thought I was going to say going to the going to the big exposition at the crystal palace where they had those dinosaur statues. Uh huh. They didn't do that. That would have

been a great idea. And the in the in a in a final act of sacrifice, Jonathan defeats Dio, but he sacrificed himself and he, but he's going to live on through his unborn child, thus ensuring that we have another generation and we have another bizarre adventure on our hands. So let's move to the next slide, guys. I can't wait to see. Okay, this is the next slide. This is the, you're looking at the cover of the first issue of the comics.

This is for Jojo's bizarre adventure part two titled Battle Tendency. And so, and who's this guy who's incredibly ripped and his shirt can't even cover his abs? That's how I mean, he's lifting his arms up, I guess. You're gonna see a common style choice that many of these characters, their shirts, cannot cover their abs. And there's a lot of straps. Similarly, their gloves cannot cover their fingers.

Now, so the gentleman on right in front, that's going to be this series, Joe, Joe. That is Joseph, Joe star, the grandson of Jonathan, Joe star. So Jonathan, so Jonathan, son didn't do much of anything. The adventures skipped a generation. Not. Yeah. I think I believe the unborn child in this case was a daughter, actually, Ellie. Oh, okay.

Stuart, I will say that I've seen. So Josephine Joe Stark is still have adventures anyway, Dan, continue. I've seen, I've seen comic covers that are clearer to interpret than this one. It, it, like, I'm not quite sure. Not, not comic book covers by Dave McKean. There's, that's true. It looks like we are looking at, like like a face through sort of the facets of a big diamond or something like. Yeah, yeah. It's almost or like there's rays of light

coming out from JoJo that are obscuring the figures in the back. Who was doing a real glamor pose with both of his arms above his head and He is. He is. And not so he can see his abs. Yeah. In the back in the, in the scintillating light that seems to be radiating out from Joseph, Joseph, are you, you can see images of this series fill ins, which we'll talk about in a second. So this series takes place much later. It takes place in the 1930s. Oh, I can tell that from the way that he was dressed. Tank top strap and his fingerless glove gauntlets. Yeah. The way that he looks kind of like a Rob Lifeold character.

He does if Rob Lifeold was cool. Yeah, actually, yeah, you know, trees made some good stuff. I mean, he's like a Rob Lifeold character in that we don't see his feet because the image comes off of the way. That's actually true, yeah, you know, trees made some good stuff. I mean, it's like a Rob rifle character in that we don't see his feet because the image comes off of the way. That's actually true. Yeah. But he doesn't have a pouches. Yeah, no, not all straps without pouches. That's a that's a life held. No, no. So 1930s. What's what kind of guy is he? Which is that you're an qualified no no of the week, by the way, Elliot?

Yeah, that is. Yeah. Thank you. That is. That's my LFI. No, thank you for reminding me of my LFI. No, no, is the LFI no no. This week is if you're going to have straps, put some pouches on them. You put some pouches on the chest. You're going to carry things in. We don't know what they're carrying in the pouches. We don't need to know. Probably subway tokens and lipstick, but your heroes need straps with pouches. That's the life held no, no, and my LFI, no, no, for the week. Thank you. So this series, Jo, Jo, is,'s a globe-trotting adventurer like you

to imagine. He's working on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation. Speed, REO Speedwagon is still alive, but he he's an old man and he is dealing with some Nazi problems. The focus of this story is the creators, the race of beings that created that vampire mask from the first series are a group of four immortal beings that are found in stone pillars in the Aztec ruins. These four pillar men, let's advance so we can see what they look like. Yes, please. I love to see. Oh, they look like all the other characters. They look exactly like all the other characters. So these four immortal beings that are, let's say, roughly humanoid. They, they, they, I mean, they're pretty humanoid. They're pretty human. They're just big buff, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're pretty humanoid. They're pretty human. They're just big buff dudes. Yeah, they

look like any comic. And they have lines on them that I can't tell if they are scars or stitching like they're right out of campus, like they're rock men. They're like, shadows. So though, these are the four pillar men. They are immortal beings that are seeking to become the ultimate being. And in order to do that, they need to, they need to combine one of these stone masks with a rare red gem called the stone of aja for all you steely dan fans out there. I get that reference. And these four pillarmen are named Santana, Wamu, ACDC and cars.

Now help those four. Which one do you think is the most powerful, guys? Just based on the name. ACDC, ACDC, it's gotta be, right? Yeah, I would say AC, I mean like cars. I mean, Santa is probably my favorite band of those, but yeah, ACDC is probably the most powerful. I got a surprise you guys.

It's cars is by far the most powerful. Real face. That's surprising. It's crazy. It's crazy. And so this series. So, you don't have to tell me which one is which, but I like that they all seem to have kind of boy band personalities.

One guy, that one guy with the kind of white headdress is clearly the sensitive one and the guy with the other guy in the middle is like the seductive one. The one with the black head wrap, he's the leader and the one in the back. He's kind of like the bad boy bruiser. He's the one who's like a little bit less articulate, you know, you wonder which fan is going to like that one because he's all about breaking stuff, but he's got his fans. He's got his fans. That's the thing about boy bands and also characters from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, which any group of characters from

this series are a lot like boy bands. So the focus of this series is Joseph Joe stars struggle against these immortal beings that are almost impossible to defeat. In fact, he gets in a fight with them and they, they beat him so badly and he's like, don't kill me yet. Give me a month to get more powerful. Let me give me a month to train and then I'll give you a real fight. And these pillar men are like, you know what?

Fuck it. Let's do it. Let's, I want a real fight. Incredibly lenient, an incredible opportunity on that. They put the pillar in very important life. They put a ticking clock on there. They put magic binding, poison rings around his heart and throat that after a month they will dissolve and kill him.

So he has to defeat them in battle. And the only way you can get the antidote is from their nose rings and lip rings respectively. So of course he has to go train and let's move on. Let's see his teacher. That's right. Let's advance to the next slide. That's his teacher, Lisa Lisa. She's a ham on master. That's right. We're talking about breath control again. So it still, it still sounds like it's based around ham. Yep. It sounds, it's based around

ham, the magical life giving force of breath control. And he, he's a mortal beings. From Lisa Lisa, I'm getting big kind of carmence indiego vibes. There's definitely, she's a, she's a mysterious woman. She wears, has very big shoulder pads. Yeah, she's great. It's awesome. Yeah. Now, this is interesting to me because her arms seem to be the length of her body, but

they're bent at the elbows, so it's hard to tell. It's perspective dude. No, but they're right, but she's holding her waist. Wait a minute. This is interesting because I just listened to the recent, there was a, I listened to the podcast, it's called the Hip-Rade, it's a slate podcast, and they had an episode on, I forget what the name of the style of music it was.

Jazz. No. It was. Sideical. No, I have options. No, there's a there's a type of music that Lisa Lisa Lisa and cult jam the band was a part of this wave of freestyle freestyle That was what it was and I was like, oh, I'm listening to this podcast. Let me Google Lisa Lisa and half of it was these Jojo's mom. these uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh bizarre adventure. But so this is, this is, it's interesting that you did this. It provides the second half. The resolution to a mystery that was in my brain. Why does this, why does this character have the same name as a band? It seems like everyone has the name of bands in JoJo. So, oh, oh, do you, you're, you're buckle up, buddy. So, so this once again, these these first two parts are fairly straightforward.

We have like a Victorian horror action adventure and then like a globe trotting action horror adventure against immortal monsters. Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now we're about to get to the two main genres. Yeah. Before we jump into the third part, which is where I feel like this series really kicks off.

Like really the heart of JoJo's. I feel like Dan has some words from one of our sponsors. That's true. You know what? The flop house is sponsored mostly by listeners like you who are kind enough to become a member at maximumfund.org, but we also have some kind advertisers as well. And this week, the flop house is sponsored in part by policy genius, which is not an insurance company, but a marketplace that helps shoppers looking for insurance, understand their options and compare quotes across companies and get a policy all in one place. Why get live insurance?

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Every other week on Maximum Fun! Stewart, back to you. Okay. Now let's get into series three of Jojo's bizarre adventure. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let boy. Yeah. So as you can see, there's some very specific design choices. And on right there, you see this series JoJo, that's Jotaro Kujo, the grandson of Joseph Joestar. Jotaro Kujo. He's the Japanese grandson of Joseph Joestar. And he, this, this is the, this, finally we have a Jojo that actually has a little bit of personality. Uh, Jodoro is. In part of volume three. In volume three. Uh, well, where is the previous most cable shows? You just got to stick with it through the first couple of seasons and then it gets really

good. Every time I'm waiting for session, I'm waiting for someone to be like, stick through the first three seasons, but in the last episode of the fourth season, it really gets good. How many seasons are there? Four seasons, that's the last one. Actually, I'm a firm believer that if at any point you are intrigued by what I'm talking about, I would highly recommend starting with a series three, or I think the, with the animated series, they actually condensed the first two into

just the first season. So they just start with star dusk crusaders, because this is where, this is where this kind of defines the series. Maybe that's, maybe that's what I should have done, because I started reading the first volume, and I did find the personalitylessness of the main, the original Jo Jo, uh, Jo, Joe primed to be a little off-john. I'm a Joe star, yeah. I remind of you a lot of the, uh, there's a thing. There's a thing all west book called a cool million in which, uh, the, this, it's the, the joke of it is just that these two characters who are naive, optimistic Americans of the type that you would see in novels or in the turn of the century in the 20th century, just terrible things happen to them one scene after another, just horrible things.

And they're always really naive and idealistic and optimistic. And I was like, oh, this Joe Joe guy reminds me of this, but it's like, I don't know where the story is going or what's going on. So, so star dust crusaders is the one. Star dust crusaders, where you should start because what this, this is the series where they start. You might as well call it Star Dust Crusade Hears. They really should.

So the, there's no log against it. The most notable addition at this point is they introduced the idea of the stand. Now the stand, stands are like magic powers that select individuals have. It's like a mutant power or super power, but it's some kind of a power that only other people who have a stand can see. And it's usually represented by some kind of like anthropomorphized by some kind of like anthropomorphized figure of some kind. As you can see on the image on the right, we see Jotaro with his stand star platinum. It's kind of like a bluish purplish

what armored figure with long hair and he's got gloves covered in frog hair. Looks like a wrestler. Yeah, looks like a wrestler. And he's just gonna to jumping out of JoJo with it in a flurry of Japanese lettering. Yeah. So these stands are something that the stand user can summon and provide some kind of magic power.

In this case, Joder O star platinum moves super fast and punches things super hard. Okay. And they're called him in the book, the stand. Dan, I'm not you. You should check. I'll go. Dan, can you guys wait a second while I go check my cut my unabridged version of Stephen Kings this day? Okay.

Part one, chapter one, everyone was feeling sick. Oh, I'm feeling so sick. I guess it's a kind of virus or something. That's not good. I'm almost 100% sure. It's sick. It more likely starts with some kind of like 50s bullshit or maybe a man's. A description of a classic car. So, Jotaro, as I said, he makes you feel better. There definitely are scenes of teenager, of a teenage boy masturbating and then letting the seamen just come to dry into a scale on his belly. There's a lot of them, Stephen King books do.

Doesn't happen in Joe Joe's, but you know, I haven't read it all yet. So maybe adventure is not that bizarre. As I said, Joe, Joe Dero is kind of a bad boy. He's sassy, but he's a little bit smart. He doesn't like authority. He also has hair that kind of clips through the back of his hat, which is really cool. He is in all, in all ways, he's the coolest dude. Okay. And he goes on a globe trotting adventure against an immortal vampire. That's right. Dio's back. And when Dio came back, he awoken the stands in a number of different individuals. So Dio is sending stand-powered individuals who

he has brainwashed to fight them. And then of course they turned them over to their own. You know, it's one of those things where they like getting a fight and by the end their friends again. And they join their team. So let's be's be people to literally stand in the place where they live. Exactly. I'll have to examine that statement. So, let's go to the next panel. This is some fan art where we have, this is our team, this is our globe-trailing. I hate to say it. I kind of like the fan art. Yeah, the fan art is a little less busy, I would say. I think you're ignoring the appeal. Okay.

I think you're ignoring the appeal of the poses that could never be reproduced by a human body. So as we can see, this is a, this is a chodaro, caccioin, polnareff in the middle. He's the silly bad boy. There's a lot of bad boys. You have a have doll and then on the far left. On the far left, that's right. You have Joseph Joe Star, the hero from the previous series.

Grandpa Joe comes along to help. So they travel around like an early walk. It's a lot like. So really long, I didn't realize Charlie and the chocolate factory is an unofficial prequel, I guess, or not pre, I guess it takes place in between volumes of JoJo's bizarre adventure. I would argue all those, and all those characters dress appropriately. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a Oreo speed wagon was dressed kind of wonka-ish. Yeah. So this is now what is with this? There's a guy here who has like, um, straps on his pants in such a way as to sort of like emphasize his area. Like they, they go like the cod piece over his pants. No, but they're like straps that go where as to what we put it, the com gutters go to sort of like, you know, like, don't put words in stools mouth, especially not those. It's taught over the, the, the Buffalo area as they would say on a mystery science theater. Uh, yeah, it's, uh, that, well, so that's Muhammad Avdol.

He, uh, his, of course, his stand is magician red because as you've already pieced together, all these, all the stands at least initially are all themed around the major arcana of the tarot. I guess, yeah. It makes a lot of sense, right? You didn't even need to say it, because- But you look at these characters and you're like- Way ahead of you.

Way ahead of you. You look at these characters and you're like, they're dressed pretty crazy. This is very reserved for this series. This is a very normal style. So let's move on to the next. So they got a fight in the enemy. And that enemy, of course, is DO Brando, a mortal vampire. Let's look at this next panel.

That's what DO looks like now. So his belt buckle and also his knee pads are all in the shape of enormous hearts. Mm-hmm. Yep. Because he's got style. And standing over his shoulder, that's right.

DO has a stand as well, his stand, the world. The world. What is the world, what's the world's power other than also having heart-shaped knee pads? Like the earth, like the world world? Well, the, you know, the card, the world, the major economy of the world.

No, the kind of card. And in fact, his, it takes them, so one of the exciting things about stands is that we're talking that they routinely run into situations where they have to fight these super-powered individuals who have some kind of superpower. And every time it almost becomes a, they have to like figure out what their enemies power is. Whereas I was used to like Western super-euro comics where like somebody will show up and I'm like, I'm the master of shooting webs out of my hands or I'm going

to cover you in blue and then I'll drive forever, Spider-Man. In this stuff, the stand users are like, I am not going to tell you shit because as soon as you know what my powers are, you'll be able to defeat me. So a lot of it is like trial and error and figuring out, and luckily we got a Joe DeRroco Joe who's super smart as well as me and Sassy and super tough. So a lot of it is trying, is the like, there's, there's a certain amount of, I don't know what the word I'm looking for, but it's exactly what I was looking for. So, this reminds me of many years ago when I was a student in NYU, the cartoonist Evan Dorkin, who came to talk to the science fiction and fantasy club.

And he talked about how stupid he always thought it was that a, that electro, he's fighting Spider-Man, Spider-Man goes, I know Electro's powers, I know I get him wet, he'll short out. He gets him wet, he shorts out, he sends him to jail. Electro gets out of jail, he puts on the same Electro costume, and it's like you're saying, Stu, it's like he's advertising how you defeat him. And Evan Dorken was positing world where Electro

dresses up like Scorpion, and Spider-Man goes, it's Scorpion, I know how to stop him, I just grab his tail and swing around, and he grabs his tail and Electro just electrocutes him through the tail. And that would have been a spardor move. But these western heroes and villains are just so prideful. They can't, they can't put on another one's clothes and kind of take, let them get the credit, you know? Yeah, exactly. And that's, and that's Dio's whole thing. Is he doesn't let anyone know what his power is, which of course is to freeze time for everyone else for exactly five seconds. We don't think is a lot.

That's it. Nope, that's a good power to hide too, because you're not going to figure it out right away. Yeah. And then of course, and though his stand is fairly close arranged, he'll usually freeze time and then have his stand go and punch a hole through the person, which is fatal for most people. Nine times out of ten. Nine times out of ten.

So that is start us. Dan, are you pulling that from the New England Journal of Medicine? I'm a whole, and fun. Halls being punched through people. Start us Crusaders has a ton of crazy stuff and it introduces stands. It's this like fun globe trotting adventure that ends up in Egypt. There's one of my favorite sequences is a sequence where they get in a, they're fighting a stand user who is a gambler and he keeps forcing them to gamble away basically their lives. And it is, it's like such a silly, like non-action-based sequence, but it's so fun and the reactions

of all the characters are so crazy. I love it in every animated version. I've seen every, when I read it, it was like, I already knew what was going to happen. I still love it. And that's like the heart of what I love about Joe Joe's is that it's like, it's never what I expect. And there's, I love the like weird mystery of trying to figure out everybody's abilities and people overreacting to things. It's great. So Star Discruseter's thumbs up. If you want to check out Joe Joe's, that's the place to go. Time to move on to

the next one. And that's our next series. That's right. Oh, yeah. And also in Starters Crusaders, there's a villain named Vanilla Ice who destroys. Okay. Dislice the real Vanilla ice. Well, his, his, his, his, his stand involves creating a void bubble around him that destroys everything it touches, which is probably inspired by the analyze. Okay, so let's move on to the next slide. This is the first cover of our next series, Diamond is Unbreakable.

Now we have a nice cool collection of characters there. Obviously, you can see in the back, Jodorou Kujo shows up, and now he's a little more experienced. He's learned some stuff from his battles with Dio, but we have a couple other characters that have bigger head. Certainly. As you can see, a couple of these characters are wearing school uniforms. That's right. I could not honestly, I could not tell that.

Yeah. They're so covered in gougas and bobbles and chains and things and ornaments. I did not, I missed that. So this series takes place entirely in a small Japanese town named Morio, and it almost has like a weird twin peaks vibe because there's a serial killer who is stalking the streets, a serial killer, that's right, who has the powers of a stand. And we follow our new Jojo, Joseph K. Higashkata, a Japanese teenager with a cool, pompadour haircut and a powerful standability. And a bunch of his friends is they travel around town and deal with other stand users and eventually try and track down this serial killer. Let's get right

to Josuke. That's him. Go to the next panel. Oh, this is Josuke. Oh, this is from the cartoon. That's Josuke. As you can see, he's got a pompadour hair cut. Yeah. He and over his shoulder is his stand, his crazy diamond. Sure. Who, I mean, let's describe this character. I would say that this character is if there was sort of a fetish gear version of Bane.

Yeah, I could see that. I was gonna say like if the X-Men villain Avalanche, if half of his costume fell off in pieces and revealed he didn't wear anything underneath. There is a lot of flesh here. A lot of flesh, just kind of hearts stuck onto his body. Including one in the groin zone. One in the groin zone and one has like a little, yeah, he's got a little like soul patch.

Soul patch. Soul patch. But he also matches, which matches the hearts that Josuke uses to adorn to decorate his school uniform. Yeah. And he's also got tubes going from his neck into, I don't know what his back seems unnecessary. But like, so, like they had like a tank that he would get stuff from. To tubes going from one part of his body to another part of his body.

I mean, we all have those inside of us. Yeah, exactly. That's that idea. Yeah. So, this word, I'm just noticing that the top of his helmet is flat, but it's still shaped like a heart. Shaped like a heart, hell yeah. So, this, so, Joe Skay's stand is similar to Star Platinum and that it's fairly short range.

It's fast and tough, but it has a very specific unique ability. And that's the things that punches and destroys he can remake. So he can heal people. He can fix things that have been destroyed. This is the series where they really start exploring some of the wacky stand powers that they can do and some of the weird combos that they can do with the various abilities. And it's also an important thing because previously when they would introduce like a villain that has a power that like kills somebody, now what they'll do is they can demonstrate

how deadly somebody stand is and then Joe Skake can use a crazy diamond to just heal that person again. Which is important that you need to have a healer on your team basically. Yeah. You got to bounce out the party. Can I just say before we move on also, JoJo, the top of JoJo's pompadour kind of looks like a waffle iron. Like the texture is to me very evocative of a waffle iron. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the one of the key things about this Jo Skay is you cannot

make fun of his hair or else it sends him into a berserker rage. Oh no. Dan, you better keep that to yourself. Oh no. Dan, do not say anything more about that because you might get a visitor that you are not going to be happy with. Yeah. So, and for, so a lot of this series is JoJo and his friends running into enemy stand users, having, you know, a life or death battle. And then oftentimes defeating the enemy and that enemy becoming their friend and part of the team, which is

great. At one point, a character shows up that is an alien, and that's the first time we've ever addressed aliens in the series, which is kind of wild. And the alien has a stand. That stand, of course, is Earth, wind, and fire. It's, yeah, it's a wild, it's a wild season. It's a lot of fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit. And also it really plays into like the horror angle with an evil serial killer villain who we'll introduce on the next slide, right there. Oh, that is okay. That's Yoshikaga Kira. That's the name of the kind of like uptight businessman serial killer guy who, you know, is just looking for some woman to share his life, but he often kills them.

In fact, always does. And standing in front of him is his stand. That's right. Killer Queen. Now his stand has some powerful thighs. Yeah, those thighs incredible some powerful thighs. Yeah, those those incredible thighs as barrels. Yeah. And he's also he's also some sort of a cat robot. He looks like a cat robot. They said his appearance. What do you think his power is?

Well, he's certainly gelical. So there's right that right up the top. True. I'm sure he can sing about himself. So there's right that right up the top. True. So I'm sure he can sing about himself. Mm-hmm. I mean, like, I don't know, I like, I, I, something about it, like some sort of like evil love perfume. Is that a thing? I mean, it is not.

That, that would 100% fit within the series. So the powers of Killer Queen are all based around explosives. Okay. Because nothing is more powerful than a serial killer that can blow up all evidence of his crimes. Oh my God. That's how he's been able to survive for so long in Morio. It, it, there's a super fun series.

It leads to a really fun conclusion with some fun like time hopping shenanigans. I, I like this one a lot. Yeah. So thumbs up, a lot of sweet, sweet boys in this one. Speaking of sweet boys, we're going to move on to the next series where we leave Morio, Japan, and we go to on a trip to Italy, Italy. So let's look at this next group of boys. This next group, yeah, I'm not, obviously in Italy. Obviously in Italy. Yes.

Either Italy or Narnia. So looking at these boys, what do you, what do you think their profession is? I'm getting real improv everywhere vibes, some kind of modern circus or mostly acrobatics or. I know we mentioned a boy band before, but maybe that, I don't know. Yep.

Are they, are they, wait, hold on, we'll figure this out. Are they, are they a roller derby team? Like a roller derby team? I know, I know you guys don't have a lot of experience with it, but they are very clearly a group of Italian mafia osos. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. It's, yeah, with the big belt buckle that says,

A, hanging over the crotch one. And having, having kind of like a half shirt with leather straps, just sort of, to a neck leash. Open jumpsuit, this like white jumpsuit with like an open breastplate. Yeah.

Like, just like tags dangling off of it. They're like little paddle ball paddles. Just hanging off of the, and there's the guy who's got a no shirt and then a tie and then over that kind of a weird slid up the middle jacket. Or the one that has sort of abs painted on in purple, on their shirt. And then there's the one that has sort of abs painted on in purple, on their shirt.

And there's the one that has a hat, it's like a red, it's almost like a miniature wimple. It's like a, it's like a, a phallic kind of blue sword going down the far head. Classic Mofiosis. So this is the team from, we didn't even mention the one whose hair is, it seems to be is it seems to be

seems to be contorted to the shape of three eyeballs along along this far ahead. The best part is that the last member of the team is the JoJo of this series. That's right. Giorno Giovanna. Now what's one of that? So this is, that's the blonde haired fellow with the curls and the heart shaped cut out of his pink jumpsuit. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So this is the cast of the the final series I'm going to be talking about tonight. This is Jojo's bizarre adventure series five, Vento Oreo, the golden wind. And these are the our Jojo. Let's move on to the next slide. Our next slide is right there. That's a, Jono Giovanna and his stand. Jono Giovanna and his stand, the gold experience.

Now, I think at this point, at this point, I don't have to mention that there is, I think we've danced around that there's a, there's a real heavy kind of Tom of Finland homo rotis. Yeah, are they a lot of this? The stand is kind of like leaning into Jojo with its arm around his shoulders. Great. Over him. Head kind of like knostled against Jojo's head and there's a tear falling from the

stand's eye. It looks like, or perhaps that's just, that it's just come up out of the water, but there's a real, I feel like this is the most, this is the one that has multiplied a sexual relationship between Jojo and stand. Part of the, one of the things about Jojo's observe and the art style is that I always It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central.

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It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. It's central. This is the most on the nose. Like I feel like the fashion in this specific one since they are in Italy, the fashion is super bonkers. And it's so funny because they regularly mention how the mafia can blend in with society. And I'm like every single one of these gangsters looks like a maniac. I mean, I just like to blend in with like the future of time, Tom.

Yeah. Like the, the, the, the brothers, the movie, the fifth element they would blend right in. Like, there's moments where they're like, we need to find the stand user in this crowd. I'm like, I think you can find them. It's a crazy looking one. So as I said before, so standing over Giornos shoulder

is his stand, the gold experience. His stand is a similarly short-range stand, but the and similar to Joe's case, it has a life-giving element. So the things it touches, it can alter the life form. So it could turn something that has, like it could turn a stick into, in like a somebody's liver, or it can turn a beetle into a necklace. It's this weird kind of all purpose,

like morphing ability. It has the same power that Calvin's transmogifying box has in Calvin knobs. But the focus is around life, which is kind of cool because it does, it's like an echo from the, the previous like the ham on like breath control life energy thing. So an important thing here also is that Giornogiavana isn't a Joestar. Giornog is the son of Dio Brando. That's right.

The villain from StarDressGruis Aiders. So he puts together, he joins, he joins this team of gangsters with the express purpose of trying to take down the boss because the boss of the Italian crime organization, Paseone, that's the name of the organization. This boss has been, yeah, this boss has been selling drugs to children, which in this series is the worst possible thing you could do. So he wants to become a... I mean, in real life, it's pretty bad.

No, you're right. He wants to become a gang star in his words and overthrow the organization and run the organization himself. And he enlists, he initially fights and then enlists the who I would consider to be the real hero of the story. Let's move to the next slide. That's the capo of their group.

That's Bruno Boucharetti and his stand Sticky Fingers, aka zipper man. Because I get it, those are zippers that are hanging from my seat. is Stan Sticky Fingers, aka Zipper Man. Because a lot of the names of this. I get it, those are zippers that are hanging from my say. A lot of the names have been were changed for the English translation and dub. There's a stand called Craftwork that was changed to arts and crafts. Obviously in this case, one of my favorites is Baby Head

was originally baby face. That's a stand that involves a computer and using somebody's DNA to create a evil stand baby. This is a wild series. I am so glad this is called zipper man because I was looking at it. I'm like, that looks like a big, like the little thing, like the thing that you hold like a big, like the little thing, like the thing

you hold onto in a zipper, the little tab, like the giant one hanging off of kind of the belt area of the stand. And I was like, am I crazy? Is that like a zipper thing? And it was good to know that I was right. It's not a little penis man. Yeah. You were going to say something. No, no, yeah, just that it does look like he has a giant paddle penis. Yeah. And Bruno has this like weird. And that has a lot of attitude. I feel like the stands have more and more attitude. Yeah. This one's all attitude. Bruno Bucharetti's the leader of the group. He's got a bull cut with bangs and he has these like breets in his hair. I don't know if I call it a bull cut. That's a Louise Brooks

haircut. Yeah. Bob, it's a little Bob. Yeah. It's a Bob. You're right. Similar to Giorno, he's got a cut out in his little suit showing off a nice set of tattoos. Now, his stay in sticky fingers. When it, things it touches, he can open up like zippers. So it allows him to like, he can like punches, he can punch somebody's arm and their arm will come unzipped from their body. He can punch his own body and a whole lot of parts of it. Now Stuart, this is postulating that just like a normal arm is zipped on. But the power creates the zipper. Yeah, it creates a zipper. This is postulating that just like a normal arm is zipped on.

The power creates a zipper. Yeah, it creates a zipper. He can punch a wall and create a zipper and then fall through the wall and then zip the wall because the ability to unzip a zipper is not that great a superpower. Most people can do that. Yeah, that's true. You don't need to stand for that. No, you just embarrass people by being like XYZ.

Now, what did he punch zipper from rescue rangers? I feel like zipper would get covered in zippers and then get on zipped and we would all be fucking bumped. Didn't zipper like, yeah, especially in the zipper, in the Mary gadget. Well, in the, in the, yeah, in the recent chip and Dale movie. Cannon. It's cannon.

Damn, that's a great thing. You have to imagine on their honeymoon, imagine it right now. So, sure, why not? Oh, let's look, let's look at some of the villains that are arrayed against our rowdy boys here. Okay. We got a, the, the next slide is the,

this is the assassin squad. Uh-huh. That are all named after food. We got Chocolata, Pesci, uh, Frommaji, all those fucking shits. Uh, and they of course attack them. They attack our friends one by one. Uh, one of them Pesci has a stand that is a magical fishing rod. Yeah, it's great. Oh, man, it's great. These guys look at these normal gangsters. The one where his head is also his neck and he's got like a pineapple top coming at us.

That's Pesci, of course. And he's kind of a wimpin. This is the first time that I realized I'm like, oh, it's Joe fish. Joe fish is his name. Joe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Thank you for that real. The guy in the middle with the weird golf and dancer. Robert De Niro is Robert of Niro. What? Amazing. And Al Pacino's name actually means Pacinco. Oh, the game were the new series on Lulu. I don't know. I don't know. So I want to point out, I want to point out in the

next slide, we're going to advance to the next slide because I got something special for you. We have, we have a stand that's right after Dan's heart here. That is one of the enemies and the stand is talking heads. Oh, man. Now, just Christ. It's really visually moving into a on flux territory. Yeah. Last one was super a on flux. Yeah. The bodies are getting thinner and more distort, like their, their, postures are more distorted and, and on oblique angles and, yeah, a kind of underving an flux quality. The,

the stance, you were going to say, describe it. I, it's, you know, I understand what it's called talking head because the head is the largest thing, but it's not just a head. It's got little arms and like kind of a little body that trails off into a tail. It's like a baby devil genie. Yeah, it kind of looks like if there's a cute version of that squid from Prometheus, it's sort of in that zone. It's in the movie.

The cute version is in the movie. It's a little baby squid. Yeah. So to give you an idea what this talking has power is, is it climbs into your mouth and replaces your tongue and then says the exact opposite of what you want it to say. It's a very specific power. Luckily, it's used in coordination with a teleporting shark stand that can teleport from different bodies of water, including blood and tears coming out of your eye.

Sure. Yeah, so, yeah, this is, this is a, again, this is similar to Star Desk Crusaders and that there's a little bit of a globe trotting element. They travel all around Italy. We get to know all of these rally boys. Like Stanley Tucci. Wait, so it's Stanley Tucci looking for Italy or whatever, is that just a JoJo's adventure? It is a lot like a JoJo's bizarre adventure. I wonder what Stanley Tucci's stand would be. I mean, he dresses depending on the role. Well, could easily dress like one of our various stand users. And incorrectly made Negroni as his stand.

No, no. Wow. Shots fired. Now in the shots, I don't understand fire. And so in the in the third series, we introduced the concept of stands in the the fourth series, we introduced the idea that stands are given to people if they are shot by a magical arrow that will either kill them or bring out their stand. Oh, like the targis. And a lot of this, okay. Exactly. And a lot of the action involves chasing around trying to get that arrow away from bad guys.

Finally, in this series, we address the idea that stands come from an alien meteorite that came to Earth and will, was basically causing some kind of a virus that would either kill you or give you powers. And then somebody took the meteorite rock and formed arrows out of it and then sold those arrows to a hag named Anya in Egypt who gave them to Dio. So that's how, so far, that's where we're at on stands and how they came to be. And finally, let's talk about the guy, the big bad, the boss of the organization. Let's go the next slide. This is what a crime boss looks like guys. Sure. Of course,

that's what you think of. That's Diablo in his stand King Crimson. Yeah. So Diablo is a super bad dude. He dresses like a totally normal gangster and King Crimson has a little baby. If a gangster was in those creepy Calvin Klein commercials from about 25, 30 years ago, we're kind of young people in genes and no shirts stood next to ladders in a basement and answer the comfortable questions about themselves. And his stand looks like Iron Man and fishnets. Yeah, if this is that waffle print again, if Iron Man fell into a waffle iron, this is that guy. Yeah. And King Crimson,

it's another thing where the Diablo tries to keep his identity secret because, of course, he's a secretive mob boss. And he tries to keep his power secret, his power, based on the name King Crimson. Look, what do you guys think his power might be? Um, uh, just releases of like just like a flood of blood. That would be awesome. It is not a flood of blood. Uh, that's similar to some other stains, though. Um, okay. So maybe what if it's like, uh, if, okay, it's like, so it's like, he takes you to court as you're in the court of the Crimson King. So it's like he's a lawyer. He's a lawyer and he's good with injunctions and torts and things. These are, these are all really good guesses. He has a two-part power. One is that he can see briefly what is going to happen in the future. And the other is that he can erase 10 seconds worth of time,

which is a weird power, and I don't quite know why or how it's good, but he does it a lot. And yeah, so it leads to a very complicated showdown at the end that is not necessarily my favorite, but you know, this was still quite a bizarre adventure to go on. And yeah, so that is, so that's going to be, that's, that's it with, at the end of five series, where the JoJo's Bizarre Venture. I'm looking forward to see where it goes next. I believe our next JoJo is our first female JoJo, JoLine Kujo, the daughter of Jotaro, the coolest dude in the universe as I mentioned before. There's so many cool stands. You got catch them all. I recommend

this series. Guys, do you have any parting questions or thoughts on this adventure I've taken you on? No, I feel like before this, I had sort of my understanding of Joe Joe's bizarre adventure was at an F and now sort of a D plus. Easily a D plus. Yeah. Thank you. No, you're welcome. I also don't have any questions. I feel like that was thorough, comprehensive. It did leave me asking more questions than were answered, but it also left me afraid of answering those questions. Yeah, exactly. And I'm sure of myself and who I am

and what works in the universe and what I should be expecting from my entertainment. So thank you for that. So guys, I've almost finished this bottle of mezcal. So I think it's probably a good time for us to sign out. This podcast is on the Max Fun Network. I've almost finished this bottle of mezcal. So I think it's probably a good time for us to sign out. This podcast is on the Max Fun Network. You can check out a bunch of other fun podcasts on there.

Some are not about JoJo's bizarre adventure. Roughly, roughly 99.9999999% are not about JoJo's bizarre adventure. So you're saying there's a chance. This podcast was edited by the loving hands of Alex Smith. You can find him as Howell Dottie on various social media. You can check out his podcast Howell Dottie's Fast Track, which Dan just recorded a dope-ass song for. Sure.

I've been Stewart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. And I'm Elliot Kaylon. Byeee! Ha ha! Maximumfund.org. Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned, audience supported. Audience supported.