The Flop House - FH Mini 7 - Missed That Movie - GetEven

Episode Date: May 16, 2020

Dan joins in the missed movie fun with his report on "Geteven" (yes, all one word) AKA "Road to Revenge," a passion project that's more passion than project.

Alright, this is the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen. And Dan, you wanted to follow the Stu Bandwagon, because he's a transitor. So this is a mini episode. We do these in the off weeks, we don't drop a full episode. And Stuart introduced a new segment last mini episode called Mist that movie that I was quite checking with. Catch that kid.

Yup, it was called a catch that kids movie Rusty Adolfs Tale. I didn't interrupt all the flow you got, Spittin' but just let you know, I only got two beers down here in this basement that I'm sitting in to record this. So you got to wrap this bad boy up in two beers more. Okay, well, you're in a basement that's a below-level room. What's another word for a below-level room? A well?

No, maybe one you'd find in like a castle. Okay, like a dungeon? That possible. And like you're kind of a fanatic about the things you love. You know, like what's another word for like a fanatic or someone who just kind of gets so excited about the stuff they love? A freak? Okay.

And now in a dungeon, oh I already said castle earlier. I should have waited to use castle till now Anyway, yeah, you're becoming the castle freak is what I'm saying. So you're ding dong better watch out How how quickly would you say is a single beer consumption? What rate are we? I mean the thing is that you're going to have to watch my screen and watch how much of my beer I'm drinking. Just guess. The better you're doing the slower I'll be drinking.

Okay, I'll try and gauge the relative heaviness of the beer that you're lifting to your lips, but how much strain I see. And if you're doing a bad job, I'm gonna be drinking it faster. I don't know. Well, I better get started. Okay, so I watched a movie called Get Even.

Now that's all one word, Get Even. It's not getting even with dad, Strangame Colley Culkin and Ted. No, it is Get Even. And it is also known as Road to Revenge. I read an interview with a guy who did this. Apparently, there's a third, these are actually separate cuts of the movie. When you say the guy who did this, can we have some more, what was his role? I'm gonna fucking get to this shit. I'm just

saying. I'm just saying usually someone would say like the director or the screenwriter, that the guy who did this. No, well, you will see why the guy who did this is, in fact, the most appropriate way to refer to it. But there's also a third cut of this movie that's called like Champagne and Bullets or something, some bullshit like that. I didn't write it down because I did these notes before I read that interview, but the film and the notes had locked themselves up.

It was too late. The film stars John DeHeart, who's also, also, Elliott, the writer, co-director, composer, and producer of this movie. So he is, in fact, the guy who did this. Now, you're right. In film school, when they talk about an actor, writer, director, composer, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Yes, and it was it's John DeHeart. John DeHeart. John DeHeart.

So obviously he's a member of the Heart Foundation. So what's his relationship? Is he like the brother of Brett the Hitman Heart? Is he Owen Hart's child? Now how you should be in Heart. The Heart. I mean, H-E-A-R-T. No, incorrect.

This is John D space H a R T He used to be a lawyer. He was a lawyer at the time this movie was made Maybe the timeline is a little confusing depending on what you read was he disparaged? Was he disbar during the course of the movie? He was heavily a lawyer after this movie whether he was a lawyer before is What's in question. So you're saying you did not go into the public records that are available? No, I didn't I didn't go into a what if Penny might have dinosaurs sort of rabbit hole of madness and sexual intrigue to find out what's going on. But this also stars Wingshouser William William Smith, and Playboy model Pamela Jean Bryant.

And it may be reductive to refer to her that way, but that is definitely, I'm sure, 100% the reason why this guy cast her. Because it's a vanity project through and through. And there's a special type of bad movie, The Vanity Project, that is often a special flavor of bad because it is an excuse for some person of questionable talents to live out their fantasies of, you know, being like an action star and kissing pretty people. So you say the kind of the what we would call the D'Angelo the Frank D'Angelo. There's a Frank D'Angelo. It's a it's a bit of a Neil Brane although he doesn't have like the weird madness of a Neil Brane. He just seems like like he seems like just a dude who wanted to he's like I took some karate classes.

I want to make an action movie. It's kind of like every it's kind of like every role playing game I played in in high school. Yeah. Dan, I'm surprised you're not mentioning that panelligen brand was appeared in the movie H-O-T-S, HOTS. Uh-huh. I definitely would have if I had known. I introduced some friends to the film Joysticks recently and I said that it's probably second only to Hots

in my enjoyment of dumb 86 comedies. Although, Joysticks has King Vity in it, who is one of the greatest punk characters ever done in the film. Played by the great John Grease, who you may remember from Real Genius or Terror Vision, or he was one of the CIA buddies in all three Taken movies. Joyce Sticks, however.

I love the part in Joyce Sticks where he goes into Joe Don Baker's house and he comes through a window and he goes, why don't you use the door? I hate doors. Take a chair. I hate chairs. And he kicks a chair over. And he asks, and he's like, I'll do your plan for you, evil rich man, but I want wheels. And he gives him those tiny little weird riding contraptions.

Now, I know this isn't a Joyce Sticks podcast, but I want wheels and he gives them those tiny little weird riding contraptions. Now I know this isn't a joysticks podcast, but I will say. We'll say why is this not a joysticks podcast? The two villains, the two so-called villains in joysticks are so much more sympathetic than the heroes because the heroes are like a smug asshole like Frat Guy who runs the arcade and uses it to hit on women. A would be like sort of party animal dude who actively encourages the nerd to, you know, like molest the bad guy's wife in the worst scene in the movie where they're breaking in and entering into his home.

And then just a You know a nerd that is not a likable nerd just kind of an off-putting Annoying nerd, but on the other hand you have John Grease who's totally fun and Joe Don Baker who's Joe Don Baker So yeah, I know which side I'm on JDB But we're not talking about joystick. Yeah, the notorious JDB. Anyway, so what we're talking about the Southern movie that is three names. Which name did you watch it under? I watch it under Get Even. Okay.

And so let me get into the plot of this thing, such as I remember it. Now you have to realize that as is part of our new world that we live in, I was watching this as part of a group watch that we were chatting during. So my notes are a little fuzzy between that and the fact that this movie defies logic and sense. So at the beginning, some dude who looks like Robert Evans or kind of like Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's like just combined those two identical twins. Yeah, I'm gonna get them confused

And they're both dead now, so you know, they're even more similar Yeah, when when I started when I started my VHS tape of Weekend at Bernie's in the middle I was like, oh my god. What happened to movie mogul Robert? But so this guy shoots up some people in a house. And I think that the thing is that he's like corrupt and you shouldn't just open fire on these guys, it's kind of unclear. But anyway, two years later. I mean, to be honest, corrupt is a minor way of putting that someone shoots up a bunch

of people in a house. I mean, if you're looking for the reason why he's not good after that, I think. Okay. I'm making a distinction of intense. Like he may just be a bad cop. Yeah. It's not like he's going to jail for gambling. It's not you're saying it's not one of those scenarios where he lost.

It was like a fire hose in a cartoon and he just lost control of it and was spraying all over the place. Well, I mean, you know, maybe he's just gun-crazy and scared versus like he's eliminating people purposefully, let's say. But in either way, he's gonna be our bad guy. So 10 years later, that corrupt cop is a corrupt judge. Okay, so meanwhile, we meet our hero. He's got a mustache.

He's an X-cop. And he sort of gives off this vibe if like a cowboy was like a middle class dentist. And we first see him. We early. I don't know if it's we first see him, but early on we see him hitting a bunch of punching bags like 30 times, but they're just from like like the same three repeating angles, one of which is upside down. Oh cool. They just flipped the the film. They didn't know. No, no, they flew to Australia for that shot. He was, he wasn't like on his like head when he was kicking these bags. Oh, that's not a kickboxer. He's just a hand boxer. Yeah. Or a punchboxer, I guess he'd call it. Our hero goes to this bar and he's reconnecting with his ass. I think they do call it punch boxing when you use your fists, right? I think so.

I mean, that's the only thing that would make sense. If you look at the ticket, it says punch boxing, because they don't want another football scenario where people use their hands much more than their feet in that game. It's just a poorly named game or baseball where it's like, you're not hitting the ball with the bases or hockey. What is that? It's not even like, it's not related to David Hockney's work, so I don't understand why you're calling it that.

I thought that the punch boxing referred to this type of boxing performed by Punchy, the Hawaiian punch pitchman. Oh, you mean unlicensed boxing where the other person does not realize they're in a boxing match? Exactly. And they think they're going to. The only warning is someone asking them if they would like a nice Hawaiian punch.

It's a strange ad campaign, because what they're basically saying is if you ask for a product, you get punched in the face. And it's not to be confused with what happens when my wife tells me to clean out our storage area. And I just start punching boxes because that's punch boxing. Well, that's punch punching. So anyway, what do I say? Punch boxing is when you have, it's like a punch and duty show and it's puppets that box like those boxing none puppets. Oh, okay. That's what you take a punch doll and you put it in the box.

Exactly. It's also called packing. So this guy is a kickboxer and a punch boxer. I mean, he's a kickboxer, which is really what kickboxing boxing should be called because they do punch people. So that's not what the name tells me. But so this guy is at a bar reconnecting with his ex and he sings a song at everyone's insistence. He gets up and sings with a band. He sings a song called The Shimmy Slide,

which I read. It's the only song that he bought rather than wrote himself. And it is obvious because it is the only one that shows any sort of understanding of song writing. But he sings the whole song and he like, his eyes, his eyes are kind of that sort of discomfort that like David Burns eyes have when he's singing Psycho Killer, but like that is a put on of a character he's doing where's this guy just seems like he thinks that he should sing in a movie but doesn't know how to do it. So what I'm taking from you and correct me if I'm misinterpreting but I think

I'm pretty dead on is you're saying that David Byrne is kind of a poser, he's not authentic whereas this guy has the real deal. I mean yeah yeah, this guy is sort of like, you know, it's like naive art, you know? So we know that this guy's like a badass warrior and he's got the heart of a poet. But what does he do for work? Is he a cop? Do we know that?

Is he a claims adjuster? Oh, he's an ex cop, okay, cop. I think he has money for some reason, but I forget what it is. Well, maybe he's a day trader in addition to being an ex-top. Or maybe he was a millionaire when he became a cop. Maybe won the McDonald's monopoly game. Yeah, maybe he sold his life story to a magazine. Like highlights for kids. He's got his goofs. And what's interesting is that, GALENT, actually GALENT sold his life rights just for a lump sum, whereas Goofy went with the percentage and is raking in money to this day.

So in this case, Goofy's really made the right decision and did the right thing. Yeah, I mean, Goofy did lose a little money when Goofy sued him for copyright infringement. Yeah, but he had to sue him in ancient Rome because that's the only place where goofy is pronounced goofest. So we ended up being a wash for everybody involved. Yeah. Well, anyway, like this gang of evil cowboy shit kicker types come in and they start a fight.

And this movie is set in modern times, right? It's set in like, I think it was made in 91. Or it's so probably not in 2020, but it's set in those times. It's set in 2020 for the LF flying cars and headsets that allow them to control their shoe computers and things like that. And nobody is in quarantine.

And I think it's at this point that his friend shows up, played by Wingshouser. His friend is named Huck Finley. And, uh, love Chwein, can't sue him. Sorry, they learned from the Gooby-V Goofis case. Yeah. And it's really obvious that Wingshouser is improvising all of his lines. Like, you get the feeling that he's like, he knows that he's the only real actor on set, so I can push these people around and do whatever I want.

Now, do you think it was disappointing when Wings' house, when they did the TV show Wings and he's like, I'm a shoe-in for this, I'm going to be the star. And then I didn't get the role that eventually went to a TV's monk. Wings daily. Yeah, well that was the thing. He was like, Wings Weber. He's like, I've looked at the script and there's nobody playing the role of the hangar, but me, Wings Houser, I'm a house for Wings.

Of course I should be the hangar. I'm a housing Wings and there's no hangar in the show. It's all takes place in the hanger. I'm a housing wings. And there's no hanger in the show. It's all takes place in the terminal. And then his friend was eating a lot of chicken wings. And at the same time, he's like, look at me. I'm a housing wings too, and they all have a good laugh about it. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, wings house are now, of course, works, we all know, as a wings hoser, someone who washes off the barbecue sauce from Wings for people who don't want sauce on their wings. Now, what are yoga hosers do, Elliot? My guess is that they make pantyhose for yoga. So it's got like a stretchier pantyhose, either that, or they hose off people who just did yoga.

Like a really hot yoga. They just hold on. And really hot yoga. They just went. And then when they're all and then when they're done working, they go home to their rich parents who don't make movies. Okay. So so mustash hero and his now I should mention that there that there is also a job Cole Hozer and you host Coleslaw of plates. I'm going to give it all on Coleslaw. Yeah.

So our hero and his- What are Cole Hauser and Wingshowser related? Okay. You got to- You got to assume it, but they're not, I don't think. Oh no wait, no. Let's Cole Hauser is Wingshowser's son, according to Wikipedia. Oh wow, that's great.

The hero and his ex have dinner, and the hero tells a couple of sexist jokes to the waiter and During this the X is like just gazing at him with so much love just like fascinated by Everything that is happening and it like it really feels like I don't know like this Like a middle aged man who has paid an escort who hates to be there. Like that is like the vibe that has been given off in this relationship. Are we supposed to think the jokes are funny? I think so, I think that so speaking to the issue-director-producer actor. He was saying, like, oh yeah,

Wings improvised all this stuff, but I didn't mind because he always hit my jokes. He always hit my jokes. So, like, the jokes he was very proud of. I see Stuart has opened his second beer. Oh boy, yeah. It's like the sword of Damocles. Oh, the pedal over my head.

You might be running out of time here, Dan. You might want to speed it up on this one. Okay, so the next day, I think, it's hard to judge time in this movie. He's with his ex at his house and she's like, hey, are you still trying out for acting parts? Because apparently, in addition to being an ex-cop, he was an ex-actor. And he says, he's been trying occasionally and she's like oh you're using the same old audition monologue and he starts doing it and it's the God

damn to be or not to be so luckily from Hamlet which he reads. Go with the best go with the best Dan. He reads basically all of and he's like reading in this way that like reminds me of like the best actor in high school who is reading like Shakespeare and he thinks that he's doing a really good job because he's like claiming it in a very dramatic way and speeding up and slowing down but there's no sense of understanding of what the text actually means or any motion behind it. All I heard was you said he was the best actor.

Okay. And now does that now just heat credit William Shakespeare with additional material? No, but there is a scene later on where Wayne's house is drunk and he's talking to like some bad guys and he's like, this man can talk Shakespeare. It's very important to him that this is a thing. And he's talking about his friend and not just one of the bad guys, one of the henchmen who's

like, so one Calabane, who cares? Yeah. And I looked it up, this lawyer did like direct a local production of Hamlet. So he feels Hamlet in his bones. Yeah, that's a pretty bad, I mean they're working on a cure for that. But it's still, I mean there's a treatment, but there's not a cure for when you feel hamlet in your bones. Yeah, I mean it just, it keeps putting it off. Yeah, they call it Denmark marrow. Anyway, Dan, I continue.

Which is different from Danish disease, which is when I can't stop eating these delicious Danishes. So, I'm pretty well, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're performing it like an old folk song, later, tonight, or? So, the ex talks about how that, you know, she had left him because he was a cop, and after that, she got mixed up with, of course, some Satan worshipers who were led by the correct judge we learned

before we saw before. Thank God it ties into the characters that we've already been aware of and that it's not like a side quest against Satan's. I mean and this is like halfway through the movie. I mean we're more than halfway through the beers at this point. Okay so she saw Wersepers sacrifice a baby. So she ran away to hide. She's worried that they're gonna be after her. I mean, I don't mean to, you know, I know I might make some people mad,

but I think it's really bad when that happens. I kind of want to make it stand, baby. It's true, we don't need your virtual signaling about how much you want, baby. I think this is not as sacrificed. You know, I think children are future guys. Our future guys and future girls, Stuart. They are our future guys.

When you have. And your future non-conforming people, Stuart. Oh, wow, thank you. I think, well, in New Jersey, as everyone knows, guys is a unisex term. And when you get a birth certificate, it does say future guy, it says name of future guy, date of birth future guy.

So, you know, he's totally right. If we're in New Jersey right now, or any of us in New Jersey. I'm the closest. Well, you're at Stuart, well, I don't know. I mean, you guys live so close together. It's not like he's... Elliot, see, I look behind you in in your office and there's a giant wall hanging that is a painting of the

Outline of the state of New Jersey and the colors of the Italian flag. So you know, I know you're closest. I mean, that's because Jersey's in my heart You know, I feel it in my bones, which again, there's a lot of it for but there's not a cure for right now when you feel Jersey in your bones And underneath that that that tapestry you have it looks like there's a plate of offerings to some kind of New Jersey God. It's like Zeppelies and like a cheese steak. We're actually and deep fried Oreo. Yeah, and also and also just something that says waiting online for tickets and sneakers. Just words phrases we use in New Jersey, mischief night and stuff like that. It's actually an offering not to a Jersey God,

but to a Jersey devil. All right, well, let's move along back to get even. Okay, so the Satanists have sacrificed a baby, which I gotta ask her, what did you think you were gonna get when you got mixed up with these Satanists? Like, she was confused, confused you know she was alone you know let's not judge her after that I mean she did the right thing and left after the page she started to sacrifice. She did

she did the right thing and went after witnessing a horrific crime and told nobody ever. Yeah so okay and sometimes somewhere in here they have sex and for the first scene it looks like she was Like contractually told him not to touch her boobs at all because he's like like like doing like it like almost like I was a force field around her the whole time But then later on you know whatever The whole time Not sure what I that's both weirdly specific and weirdly general and

I mean the thing was like my theory was that like she had this no touching clause with this like weird weird dude but Dan you can't fool me there ain't no no touching it but then he's like rubbing ice on her in the next scene, so who knows. But he certainly shouldn't touch her with claws. I mean, who is he, Freddie fucking crook her? But the whole time during this scene, he's also on the soundtrack, singing a folk duet with a woman. And it's mixed so like the soundtrack is as loud as any talking. Meanwhile, there's just a subplot that doesn't go anywhere

and is the worst part of the movie by far. His friend Huck is drunk and he hasn't been playing paying child support, but still somehow we're supposed to sympathize with this guy because his wife comes over and she like rips her shirt apart like exposing herself and then goes outside and says the tells the police that he assaulted her and he gets arrested. So that's the grossest worst part of the movie with this like fake accusation but fortunately

that goes nowhere. So let's forget it ever happened. Already did. How do we mention it? I mean legally he had to right? I mean that's part of the the curses laboring under if you guys list every part of the movie I think that spin is hair in a gold. No I do think that for the small subset of the listening audience that runs out and tries to find this movie afterwards. You just should be aware.

You know, just maybe fast forward. So somewhere in here, Hutt gets out of jail. We see him in the pool, some women like wearing fully clothes. You just standing in there. He rants, more improvised dialogue. Now fully close, you mean like wearing a business suit, Tuxedo? What is it? Like just like a button up on some jeans.

Oh, just standing in the shower, sash all of in with some. Does he tuck his, does he tuck his button down in or is he more like? No, no, this guy is an entrepreneur. Just got out of church, untuck that shit. Get ready to relax. God's time is over. It is time for you. Yeah, it's you and Chili's time.

That's it. There's another sex scene on a bubble bath where he drinks champagne super lazily and there's more singing on the soundtrack of the same thing. Now when you say he, which of the two despicable characters is it? Or is it the judge? No, the main guy. Okay. So they get very rich. What's the guy's character's

name, but the most as? I have no idea. Let's call him Stasi. Stasi gets married to this old flame and he is wearing for the wedding a trax suit with big stripes on it. This guy, Favours. Like he's a prisoner. I described that as a tracksuit. This guy favors kind of like big like polo sort of hockey jersey kind of shirts and then like leather pants together. He wear like black leather pants with that. Interesting personal style.

So what it's like up top, I'm a dad down below I'm a biker. It's like what if Lenny Kravitz grew up in Philadelphia as like a flyers fan? Yeah, if Lenny Kravitz and Kevin Smith had a child. So the bad guys, the bad cowboys from earlier, I guess are connected with the Satanist somehow and they see the woman. And so they chase the motorcycle,

the two leads are on and it's a very slow car chase. And the motorcycle chase. Yeah, well, I mean, one of them's in a car, one's a motorcycle. I'm just using car chase to describe the genre of thing that we're talking about Sure, yeah, okay. Yeah, um, and the woman Is either dies in an accident or Maybe a shot because she has like like a like a something that looks like a wound on her on her head in a very bullty way

But I think she just I, are they shooting at them? I think they are threatening them. So either way, I think. And this is, Dan is making such a good argument against the use of eyewitnesses and court cases. Yeah. So she's taking to the hospital where she dies and a young non-comforts are hero. Okay.

So at this point, Audrey and I ate a mango. So it's a little fuzzy because we went to the kitchen and we cut open a mango and we're eating it. Is that food or something? No, there's no code. Is that like a drug thing? Like, hey, you want to eat a mango, man? Just a delicious mango.

Just, you know, one of the I assume the mango was with your soul. I know that it was so large that it could not fit through the door between where the kitchen is and where the television is. So you couldn't bring it back to the room where you were watching the movie. I know we did, but you know, like, I know you don't understand,

because you hate all fruit, but a mango is a difficult fruit to prepare for eating. There's a lot of outside that it to be pulled apart. You got to like literally a two man job. And yeah, it requires a lot of it requires a lot of cutting. You have to pull out your ceremonial die show. Use your Katana and Wakazashi to slice it into slightly smaller pieces. Yeah. And now this this does remind me of the time. I forgot what movie it was when you said you were having trouble keeping track of it because you were folding laundry at the time. Anyway. so, well, I mean, also this movie is hard to

take keep track of because it doesn't make sense. But, um, so this is a little more fuzzy, but the guy wants revenge for his wife. So he takes the bad gang down, he fights the crap judge, and he burns down a building with the judge inside, and all happens happens really fast considering this is what the movie's been building toward and theoretically this is an action movie. I mean who post it who postulated that theory that it was an action movie. Because it sounds like a musical to me. It sounds like a musical romance to me. You're not wrong, Elliot, but I mean any movie that starts off with a man just like

wailing on punching bags for a long time. I think you're gonna have some action. What's the what's the poster look like? Describe the poster to me. And if there isn't a real one just design it for us then design it for us. What would you make the poster? Yeah, you're trying to sell get even to somebody. Now clearly you're putting that Jurassic Park skeleton tyrannosaurus on there just to get people in through the door. Yeah, yeah, because that tyrannosaurus around there just to get people in through the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because that tyrannosaurus skeleton puts butts in seats. I don't know if you heard a little movie called Jurassic Park, but it was huge. I mean, I don't want to, I mean, like no one at home can see this, but I actually do feel like I have to really genuinely show you what it looks like. If you look this, uh, okay, see a blurry, I see a blurry, a blurry, a blurry, a blurry, a blurry, a blurry,, I see a blurry phone screen. It looks like a baseball card.

Okay, I see that. Dan, can you turn blur background off on your screen? Because I think that's what's really getting in the way here. You're like, here, take a look at this, but first let me turn a hail storm on. Yeah, sorry. Here, let me, I have this painting on what you look at. First, let me smear chicken grease all over your glasses.

How do you turn it off? Oh, boy. Oh, no. Uh, choose background effects. Uh, yes. None. Okay. I don't mind right now.

Now we're going to see like Samara from the ring crawling out of the back of Dan's bookcase. Whoa. Wow, it does look pretty good. back at Dan's bookcase. Whoa. That is pretty good. Very collagey. Yeah. So does she wear that outfit in the movie? The outfit that Ellie is talking about is some thigh hives with a garter,

you know, like the lingerie top, she's sort of bent over. She does not wear this in the movie. The hero is looking like maybe he's sort of a... He's fucking jacked. Well, but he's got this look in his eye. Like maybe he's like sort of a fringe militia guy who got woken up in the middle of the night. Thanks, shits going down.

He has kind of the look you see on, if you ever go to a barbershop in a suburban town, not the best barbershop in town, one of the more middling ones, and you're looking at the like poster of different hairstyles, and it's clear that they couldn't get like the really fancy poster of hairstyles. Like that guy could be on that. He has a look on his face like somebody just put Hank Williams Jr. ketchup on my blue jeans on the fucking chute box, and he's like, I'm gonna beat some ass. on the fucking tube box and he's like I'm gonna beat some ass. Yeah, and we are talking about the picture that is associated with this film on IMDP

under the title Road to Revenge, so if you want to see what we're talking about. Let me see it again, Dan. Can you hold it up to the camera again? I mean hold my talk. I'm probably looking up on my computer. I'm probably putting the picture on the left side. Why don't you just slap that on a birthday cake for me and send it over. Now who's in the lower right hand corner? It looks like Hitler is holding a gun.

There's a, I think that is the bad guy. Well, if it's Hitler, then certainly is Dan. You shouldn't have to think about it. No, he's the bad guy in the movie. He kind of, yeah, he does kind of look like Hitler crossed with Charles Johnson here. Okay. Sure. No, he's the bad guy in the movie. Yeah, he does kind of like Hitler crossed with Charles Bronson here. Okay. Sure. Anyway, arguably both of them have problems with minorities. We're not. So we haven't gotten to the best. I mean, Charles Bronson's characters. His characters in the death wish movies. Yeah, you know, we're going to Charles Bronson

himself. Yeah. Let's get to the finale. The grand finale of this. Oh, so the finale is not when he burns down the building with the back I know there's there's a Dana Ma after the climax and that is that the nun comes and she visits the hero at the grave of his wife and she is like really super insistent on getting a ride back to the hospital like you know like he's like I'd like to stay with my dead wife is like no like, no, no, you got to take me back to the hospital. And it really is kind of like, all right, back off none. But it turns out that the reason she wants us right, so bad is that she's got a big surprise at the hospital.

The hero's wife is not dead. The police just made her pretend to be dead because killers were looking for her. So he killed all these people in revenge, but she was still alive. So is he gonna pay us any charges for this or? I don't think so. They seem to be pretty happy

and just go on about with their lives. And so- But wait till they hit a funeral and everything with a tombstone? Yeah, that's the thing. There's a grave. I mean, you're gonna need more than one tombstone to feed a whole funeral. So if you get a large and it's a small funeral, maybe I don't know.

Got it. The thing about these, the thing about these vanity projects movies is they often have some like really kind of unpleasant elements where the guy behind it is working through some things or whatever or uses it as a chance to have love scenes with women he finds attractive or whatever. So there's these off-putting elements, but I would make a pitch that these movies also, because of the fact that they're the, these vanity projects are just kind of one step away from being a parody of male ego.

Like, you watch this movie and it could be, it could have been written, I think, as a comedy, about a man who is like, like, just just this mediocre dude who thinks he's the greatest. Yeah, I think somewhere Vincent Gallo is listening to our podcast and he's like that motherfucker. He got their first. I guess what you're saying, Dan, is there's a very thin line between parody of the male ego and expression of the male ego. Yes. Like the curious expression of the male ego enters the realm of caricature.

Of ridiculousness, which this movie definitely does. Well, and like a movie like what under the silver like, I think takes that concept and plays with it and makes fun of it so much so that it ends up being off-putting to many people. Yes. I have to say, I got about 15 minutes into that, and I was like, I'm gonna save this for another time.

It was, like it was, I was like, I don't really know what he's getting at here. Yeah, I mean, that's basically it. It's like, you know, it's like almost like a parody of an L.A. noir, and it plays on the like, the concept of like male entitlement, the male ego, but it does it so much so that it is off-putting. So guys, what were the made up categories you came up with?

Glad you missed it. Glad you missed it. Or had to go on. Had to go on, miss it. Yeah, had to go on, miss it. Well, I don't know. I mean, I was kind of divided until I saw that fucking poster, dude. I don't know if I can spin up that CD.

I want to take that, I want to take that DVD box, which I'm sure is one of those cardboard jabs with the weird plastic thing that you got to snap and like open the cardboard. I mean, my guess is this is the kind of mover the DVD comes in a in a paper sleeve little little plastic window on it. Little plastic window and like opposed it with a heart. I don't know where this came from. One of those blockbuster guaranteed entertainment stickers like half ripped off. But the title of the movie is written in Sharpie on the disc itself. I don't know. You know, it sounds a little bit like, I'm sad we missed it, but it also seems like, I don't know.

It's, you know, maybe I'm going to have to go on missing. This is actually, this is a movie I had heard, I've never seen but I've heard about before. And Dan, you've made me want to finally experience it for myself, although it does sound terrible. Yeah, it is, but I've seen a fair amount of these bad movie nights with friends lately. And this is one that everyone seemed to thoroughly enjoy. So, you know.

So we did it, guys. And I got a little bit of this old bruski left. So let's get real, you know. Okay, so we did it guys. And I got a little bit of this old bruski left, so let's get real, right? Oh, God. Let's talk about some personal beef. Oh, that's not. So I guess that that's the end of our little flop house many. Thanks for joining us again.

Next week we'll have a full length episode. but until then I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stewart Wellington a representative of the Max Fun podcast network I'm Ellie Kaelin who I guess is not a representative Max Fun podcast network. No, I mean, I just don't have any cool credits So I thought I'd give myself Bye everyone! Strange planets, curious technology, and a fantastic vision of the distant future, featuring Martin Star. So we're going on day 14. Shadow still hasn't come. Aparna Nancherla. The security system provides you with emotional security.

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