The Flop House - FH Mini 9 - Return to New Moon

Episode Date: June 13, 2020

Our delightful Flop House friend Chris Weitz returns to the show to talk about his career, and also continue to be unfailingly good-natured about our ribbing of Twilight: New Moon.ALSO the whole video livestream show for charity is available for viewing on our YouTube page, and we're still accepting charity receipts for the raffle through the end of the day 6/13/20. Details HERE!

Hey guys, what are we talking about? Was that the big do we know? Well, we got we brought we brought an expert in to talk about the movie Twilight the Twilight Saga colon moon. If not passes wacky neighbor Christmas is back. Yeah, it's crazy movie. Now I just want to I just want to double check. So we've officially started the episode.

Despite not announcing the show or who we are, any of that stuff. Hey, everyone, this is the flop house. It's a podcast about bad movies normally, but on off weeks we do many episodes that are a lot looser. And sometimes we start without Elliot knowing. And I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin loving you this new WTF with Mark Marin style of starting and just going to roll in on into it. And I'm howling. Joining us. Joining us is howling.

So how many how many times has Halle been on the show? When does one reach the Haglund line? Oh boy, you got a hell of a lot more. You get a hell of a jacket. I mean, it's got to be over 10 really? But is it under 20? Yes. Yes. Okay. So in there. So it's not Halle, Haggleund. It's our wacky neighbor, Chris White's joining us again. Yeah. Have I mentioned on the show that, you know, now that I've heard all of the episodes, I fall asleep to your guys' voices every night and have I creeped you out with that ever before. And somehow no other podcast will do anymore for a while.

I listen to that strange Australian paranormalanormal podcast, Strange Universe. It has to be the flop house. I have a soothing voice. Everyone said it. Yep. It's like the sound of silk being dragged through butter is the way that my voice has been described. My brother described it as exactly like the voice actor who portrayed Howard the duck in 1984's Howard the duck Mm-hmm that poses on my head shot by the way now or is it a it's 86 right 86. Yeah, that was Oh, so I was like Ellie. It was like four years old when that movie came out I didn't see it my brother is undeterred That's oh yeah, that because I the oh no no no i might future self went back and recorded

mhm at the same time that i was being my own father and mother i would also recorded the voice track for how are the dot i mean i i also listen to podcasts uh... to go to sleep i find the i'd i find the voices of humans comforting no more than uh... now as the world is falling apart. I like to know that people somewhere are talking about something that I can kind of pay attention to and kind of then just zone out and drift off to.

And I'm pretty sure I've seen Dan tell those podcasters that you do that. So Chris, you shouldn't feel weird at all. I feel like Dan's done that. I mean, if I could find the sound engineer who put together 100 spooky Halloween sound effects and tell him how much help it's or her how much help it's given me falling asleep those chain rattles creaky doors, which know it just lulls me to slip because I love there's nothing we're comforting to me than knowing that I'm watched over by an evil ghost a witch perhaps a murderer of some kind you know that I'm not alone you know as far as I'm concerned there's nothing more scary than a creaky door or a bubbling cauldron because if I hear those I'm like I got to get up and oil that door and turn off the culprit yeah yeah no I like it it just makes to feel like I'm in a place that's

well lived and well loved so you referred to me as a beetle juice actually a beetle Jew which is yeah which is a Jewish person who if you say their name three times they show up so okay I'm sure you should refer to Jews as beetles but two of the beetles were Jewish John Lennowitz and and wringles and wringles and the Gally it probably actually does and he was also making a noise. I was I was say I was wondering so Stuart said hey for this episode why don't we get our good friend and wacky neighbor Chris who falls asleep to our voices all every night much like Kramer probably does unsign felt listening to Jerry I assume having sex with his parade of anonymous girlfriends who will never be seen again on the show.

They cannot live up to his standard exacting standard and still is like let's have what what let's talk to Chris about about these twilight movies and like what it's like to make a twilight movie always at the plan great i mean let's do uh... okay i mean like i'm yeah i was like is christ actually gonna want to like talk about his like Hollywood experiences or is that verboten like that is I mean we could ask we could ask about producing Columbus

I'd be equally as interested to hear about that. I'm all about that. I know the fans want to hear about it They the column column bites now column bites My life is Hollywood all the time. Hollywood whites, they call them Hollywood whites. It's nothing but lunch at the IV and other things that people do. My idea, even living in Los Angeles for a couple of years now, my idea of Hollywood is still a guy in a convertible car wearing suspenders and a suit.

And he's got a ponytail and a big, like, Zach Morris block cell phone in his hand and little sunglasses. And he's just, he's yacking about deals and who's anchoring who and how are you going to package this? You're literally just describing what you're seeing on Chris' camera right now. I'm actually doing this as I try. I'm talking about a snorting skyne.

I'm talking about Bofo B.O. Yeah, whether this picture has legs. And later tonight, when you fall asleep to the sound of our voices Your bed is gonna transform into a giant Hollywood walk-a-fame star You're gonna fly over the giant Hollywood side Wow, that's gonna say that my vision of Hollywood As well was like informed by movies for so long and so I was just like oh hollywood is just the Chinese theater Walk of fame and then the first time I went out to LA

I was just astounded to see what a tiny place that is outside that theater the big stars hang out Batman Elmo all of them SpongeBob John Travolta and the fan yeah, the famous character of English Bobby. Yeah, so what's your Hollywood experience like? My YouTube Hollywood story. Well, because it has fame, ain't it a bitch? I'm quoting AJ Benza. I find that with more money, more problems.

Oh, wow. I've never heard that before, but it makes sense. Yeah, I just thought of it. As you guys may know, I don't actually, well, first of all, there's only one movie studio left on Hollywood, which is Paramount, which is the old one that was always there. So, Hollywood actually isn't very Hollywood and it's kind of ragging and beating up. I don't know. I mean my experience was coming out with my

brother in 1990 I think. And writing on a lot of movies that never ever got made. And then our first credit was a production polish on a very Brady sequel. I don't know. That's a movie that I watched just a few years back. I watched both of the movies. God. It was like, it was like, because Dan had seen every movie ever made and went and decided to start back around again. So, it's circle back and watch those movies for a second time. No, our tales begins with a giant platter full of pot brownies.

I wish. I, uh, no, it was just like, it was during that period when I was living alone and at my saddest and I was just like, oh, these movies are on Hulu or whatever service. That perhaps that will be exactly the flavor of undemanding fun that I am looking for at this moment. And you know what they were. They're funny movie movies. I feel like that's a whole and the streaming service options. There isn't one that is dedicated exclusively to Sad Men. I don't know. There's a number of online streaming sites that are devoted

exclusively to what sad men want to see. Like sad lonely men. I don't think so. I like it. It seems like there's a short films. Very short films. Yeah. Most of them shot on video, not on or DVD, not on actual film. Kind of dogma 95 type. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, a lot of a nat sound very nat sound All in the same Prefabricated Mansion, too, it's weird. I guess that's the studio But what if I was a sad guy that also had a fantasy that I was some kind of I don't know pizza delivery fellow Would there be an option for me like you got a fellowship to be in pizza delivery. Yeah, he's a domino scholar.

So what was, wait, so explain for the audience Chris, you said a production rewrite, what is that? Production rewrite is when they're just about to make a movie and they realize in a cold sweat that the script is just not going to cut it. Which, as you can imagine, given the movies that are made, how bad things must be at that point, where they actually decide to rewrite it. So yeah, my brother and I were brought in. And how did you meet your brother?

Well, that's actually amazingly someone asks us that once in a meeting. In all seriousness, he also said during that meeting that a script which was about a boy who was raised by whales and ended up winning the Olympics was based on a true story as he tried to uh... that's not it he believed that or he thought you were done enough to believe it uh... i will prefer to think the former

uh... and based upon his other uh... remarks that i think i'm right now that movie that means speaking of about a boy that turned into the screenplay for about a little bit that did it it started it's one of these crazy one of these crazy stories where a movie gets rewritten completely unrecognizable. The original title was about a whale. It was called about a whale boy. Yeah. And then they have so much trouble with it. And then you and your brother stepped in and you said, here's our pitch.

And you just crossed out the word whale. And they went, we're listening. Let's go back to basics, guys. Yeah. lost out the word whale and they went really listening. Let's go back to basics guys. Yeah. People don't want to see movies about whales. They want to see movies about boys. What about free willy?

Had a boy in it. That's what Chris does. He comes in as a screenwriter and he does the equivalent of that thing where you look in the mirror and take one thing off. You know, it's like, let's remove the whale from this it's just too much you know it's too much unnecessary it was originally twilight new moon and then another moon and you said no no no no no no no just the one moon so yeah i do whatever remember from that that first uh...

gig that my brother and i ever had was that at one point we because we're doing all the writing and the production offices of the movie and at one point we were told that we couldn't order any more sushi on the movies but because we're eating too much. So we are living it up if you can imagine getting as much as much take out sushi as you can eat. That's got to be a lot of sushi. Yeah, it was. It was. My brother and I always would order,

and I would not necessarily eat but order too much. I remember in New York, there used to be these all you can eat sushi places. And in order to keep you from ordering too much sushi and wasting it, they would say you have to pay for any sushi that is left over on your plate. So what my brother and I would do is occasionally when we would order too much because we were very gluttonous, we would

secret it about our persons and then walk to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. So we slid it down our shirt cups. Would you ever put into our crutches? And then you have to go and dispose of it. Would you ever pretend that you were freeing the fish that had been prison back to the water with you swim free? Yeah, well I feel like while in the bathroom on our own, yeah, but we wouldn't do that in front of the sushi shop because that would lead to our immediate expulsion. Well it seems like a weird restaurant where the toilet would be right in front of

the sushi chef. How did they get us sanitary grade? That's what I wonder. And they were really bothered in. We should also clarify that Chris's brother, of course, is Jeremy Piven, and that's now he got the Mercury Poisoning that... But kept him off the Broadway stage, yeah. Yeah, he's not true, my God. Well, he said he had Mercury Po thing. He claimed he had Mercury.

Like a Michael Douglas's cancer thing where he claimed he got it from, you know, it was from pleasure. I do know Stewart, and I thought for a second, should I pimp you into a having to actually say it, but I don't want to. So, what happened after, so very very sequel came out, what happened after that? It was a massive hit and everything is history after that. Let me, what happened with that? Okay, so then I remember, ants was kind of our next credited work. My brother and I were, this is actually kind of Hollywoodish. We were eating breakfast at Hugo's on Santa Monica,

which is kind of a very, like bit of an institution. And a guy, no, was there. And he said that they wanted a writer to rewrite a movie about about ants and he just seen this and the idea to come about from this National Geographic documentary about a termite colony that was attacked by ants eventually in the end and I remembered that that particular episode really really well and that actually also just ordered a couple of books about ants because I did really care about ants at the time

or care about it. I don't know, I was interested. They're cool. So there I was. It's kind of like the Lana Turner at, what is it, Shraps? Yeah, I think it was a story. Yeah. Except the ants and as you go.

Shraps or Shraps? Crap. Shraps? She was at a place called scabs She really stuck out because everyone else was covered in scabs and sores It was that that lever Restrains. Yeah, it was a long time LA institution for a long time L aapers He's called. Also SCAT.

So that was next. In this whirlwind through my glorious career. And what now? You came in. That was phase two of your career, because it seems like phase four of your career should have been ants. Again, call back to phase four. Call back to the only movies.

It's like a movie. It's a joke that Dan was calling back to a joke before we started recording. Is it? I can't remember. So, and you came on, were you, you were rewriting someone else on ants or they wanted people to write a movie about it? They were kind of, they were mostly throwing away a script.

And so we, I think, in the space of six weeks, we were supposed to write a script that Woody Allen would sign on to. And of course. And of course. I assume the original script, he had written, and it was about an elderly aunt that falls in love with a grub. And they said, you can't have this.

It was. Had I known that it was gonna be so problematic, I probably would have done it anyway, because I sort of wanted to have a career. But at the time, he was just strange, and not deeply strange, and upsetting. And yeah, so then we did a lot of that, and then it actually, and yeah, so then we did we did a lot of that and then it Actually that process when you know animated films take forever so it took about two and a half years and And this very the strangest thing about that. Okay. It was that For the first time in our lives we flew on a private jet

Wow, and first time in our lives we flew on a private jet. Oh wow. What do you want to try that jet? And no, it was DreamWorks' private jet, because DreamWorks was a hugely going concern at the time. And, but the irony of that, or I don't know, the careful what you wish for that was that the jet would leave at six in the morning from Burbank and return at noon.

So you'd have to wake up at 5 o'clock or 4.45 to drive to this jet to fly up for an hour to Palo Alto to work for three hours and then fly down again within the same morning, which was completely bananas and not as fun as it really should be to fly in a private jet. I think the coolest part of Chris' private jet story is hearing the waves crashing in the background. Yeah, I was about to say. That's my sound regime, which I...

Okay. Well, listen, I blame the Blue Yeti microphone which just picked up the Pacific Ocean. It's just too good. So well. And so, describe that private jet to us. How many people would fit on it? I guess about 10 people would fit on it.

And sometimes it was like, oh, there's Hans Zimmer. He's coming with us this time. And he'd be like, hey, Hans Zimmer. I think you're actually really nice. Oh, your boys are flying. I'll see you today. We're going to talk about Hans smoothie. I have to assume it's what he sounds like. I don't know, I never heard his voice. Yeah. It sounds a bit like that actually. But he was very nice. And let me see, you get, you get some nice sandwiches. You get free sandwiches. And Jeffrey Katsunberg is on the plane, too.

And so you never really feel as if you can totally kick that. Because he's so incredibly on the ball about everything that you don't feel as if you can actually enjoy. He's really watching the plane sushi budget to make sure that you don't go. He's like, I know the trick where you flush it down for it. And this is this plane does not have a system that will handle

that kind of roughish in the toilet. And I have all you can eat. This is amazing. This is like, this is your life. I was kind of joking when I when I posted the new moon poster On Twitter and answer to your call for subjects. Uh-huh, but here we are. Yeah, well That that joke quickly became stewards lifeline to something to talk about Yeah, that way I'm actually loving looking at what appears to be a kitchen storage shelf.

Are you in a back? No, you're in a closet. Are you in a closet? Are you in a closet? I record in a closet. Yeah. Okay. You said the basement of henchulins I've never actually asked.

No, no, no. This is the office slash storage room in Charlene and my apartment. That's why you can see boxes of board games in the background and restaurant quality shall shelving basically. Yeah, restaurants. Oh man. You would bite into them and you'd be like, I can't bite this at the store. I can only get these at restaurants.

I have to get this raw sale It's not delivery It's your restaurant style So I so Christopher you Yes Please refer to me What are your intentions towards my daughter?

So you are hot off of ants. What's next for the brothers? Chris, why? Well, let me see. Then we kind of, well not that, well then American pie happened because for some reason we went in for a meeting to direct. I mean, there's probably one at the job. Yes, we'd never done it before, we wanted to direct pretty much anything and so we for

some reason, I think because we thought we wouldn't get the job because we never directed a thing Went in and and and kind of pitched them on on how we would change the script Along with Adam Hershter writer and and you know the idea was to kind of make it a bit more female-friendly although in retrospect There are problematic elements about American pies. Well, I'm actually now noticing a trail of very questionable things in my career. Woody Allen, cyber crime. I mean, it also means that you wrote something

that you wrote for Celestolone, too, right? That's true. And I didn't get to meet Celestolone, but for a while, I would read off as it all of the character. Because they didn't, of course, read together. So I read, opposite J.Lo, Jean Hackman, Woody Allen. I'm trying to remember who else.

O'Sharen Stone. Yeah, so that was kind of nice. That's amazing. You know what? Today, actually, I tweeted about how like I am nearly 42 two years old congratulations you do it thank you and in spite of you know it's coming up soon June 19th everyone just so you just throw it out there it's also

the that's also the that's what's celebrating this day that's also the four year end of the same day that's the four year anniversary of my barhinter lands. Which birthday is more of a memento? I don't know, four years is a big deal for a business. But I understand it's the fourth anniversary of Dan's 38th birthday. I tweeted out today about how I'm poor to two years old and despite media telling me

that this is a thing that men do I have never masturbated by fucking any sort of food and then I thought to myself Is my friend Chris gonna see this and be distressed in some way that I I want this deciphering song of food has called as I assume the next thought you had was why haven't I done that Maybe pie does feel like sex. Yeah, I mean the movie the movie asked that question you need to answer it to that's actually if you check the IMDB Goofs Sorry to bring this up Chris for American pie in the Goofs. It says in actuality human vaginas and pies do not feel particularly similar. No, they're they're quite like. I didn't know from the record. You heard it here. Yeah, yeah, we just we just brought you here to track you. Actually, the only thing I'm thinking about

is you recount that anecdote is how young you guys are. Like 50 years old, I know. It's bizarre. I was used to be the youngest person in the room. Around the time that I was describing, I was super young, you know? Yeah, because you must have been what, like, 30 at the time? I was 29 when I started directing a movie. Wow. Turn 30, I think, on the Um, which is so young. It's ridiculous.

That's 30 under 30 material right there. Yep. Just made it. Did you did it. Did it. Did you feel like the older person on the set because the actors were so much younger? Like was it? I did feel, uh, I did feel old relative to them because these guys were like, uh were often in their first movie. I mean, the great thing about making that was that the studio was also making Bay, Pig and the City and Mead Joe Black, which were costing them a lot of money and we cost nothing. And as kind of all they just kept their eyes were on

other balls as it were so so we just got away with a lot and we got relatively little critiques we went through through the process which is amazing amazing and the other experience I have I'm sorry I'm well I just I was gonna say I mean and despite babe pick pick the city being a tremendous movie, like both of those films did much, much worse. Yeah, it was very strange. Like I certainly don't take any pride in that. I don't think it has anything to do with anything other than the kind of strange tastes of the public.

I mean, I mean, each of Black had its own problems. Yeah, it's on thing. That was three hours long. I think that's part of they took it. They took an hour and a half movie and remade it as a movie twice that length. Wasn't was it was it one of the big selling points of Meet Show Black that when it premiered, it had the trailer for the Phantom Menace before. Yeah, it was, I think. Yeah, really. And like famously people went watch like paid for a full ticket watch the trailer and then bounced yeah So the so America was a big hit like that was huge Though it was crazy. It was certainly unexpected. I'll say how I know that the studio didn't expect that at all is that

Somebody strolled in from the studio about halfway through shooting and said, great news, we just sold the foreign rights for $4 million. So our downside is covered, which I didn't mean anything to me, but it ended up making $100 and something million foreign. Because they like a laugh too, you know? It's really a laugh.

Although the man met Rodney Lives lives for laughter, I've heard. So that's like the how old sound bite is that? Is that from toy? No, I just remember that from our days together. And the day we used to. And I said, it lived for laughter. A long time ago. He lives for laughter.

Yeah. My experience is with American Pie. I remember seeing it in the theater probably in what high school or maybe right my freshman you guys probably had to sneak Yeah, I was definitely in high school because everyone in my high school is trying about it and through some twist of fate My mom saw it before I did and she was like you got to see this movie she She's like you see channel isb is bits boobs you've got to see it I was like mom you're horny and my you're horny tea I guess my my second thing was I remember bartending one afternoon and Eddie K. Thomas came in with a date and was not very nice to me, but that's okay. Really? I'm an asshole

Sorry, that's okay. It's fine. This is a huge echo. But Chris gets out of the phone. I got this. This is the part of the podcast where we air out some dirty laundry. So they have to be played dirty laundry by Don Hadley for me. Okay.

Yeah, that's the signboard, you know, I've never had any bad experiences with any of the cast members. I've never met any of them so I haven't had the opportunity. I've had their good experience of watching Chris Klein and Streetfire the Legend of Chun Lee. Yeah that was a great experience. Yes that was another painful episode for me. Oh I mean he's great at that. He's great. A tremendously of a sounding performance. I don't know quite what's happening, but I love it.

It's a lot happening. It's a lot going on. It reminds me of, it reminds me of, we just did our live show this past weekend about how are the Duck Tim Robbins performance and that where it's like, you kind of get the feeling he was like, nobody cares about what I'm doing.

I'm just gonna go crazy. Well, I'm doing I'm just gonna go crazy. So you did a movie with a bunch of younger actors. Do you keep in touch with anyone? I mean obviously some of them have had very huge careers. Yes. We are co-producing a movie with Natasha Leon Has a new production company. Oh wow and we're doing something with her. So I see her around once in a while She's she's great. I mean I still think of them as like kids. I saw Sean Sean Scott little while ago. That was awesome Yeah, you know, I'm I'm at the mall at a really like amazing time in their lives when everything was about to happen.

Which actually, this is maybe the segue to lead past a lot of just draws and get to Twilight. So, New Moon, because let's talk about our paths. Case to play. Okay. This is when the real journey laundry comes out. Tate, Tay Laugh. It's a Dan play. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I think we're going to afford the music. Q for that. But okay. I was actually thinking about the other day about making that movie. And the utter shock I had when I think we were... I think we're all flying to shoot around the same time. There's something where we all had to fly out of LAX at the same time.

Case-Due, our paths, Te Lao, myself, bodyguards for case-Due in our paths. And theo, myself, bodyguards for case, doing our paths. And the paparazzi were chasing them and us, because I was in the same, you know, whatever, SUV. But chasing them down the street, like, you know, vans, cars, everything. Like, I've never seen anything like it. It was astounding and it was genuinely frightening.

Is it like, to see like, what it? Was it like the beginning of a hard day's night, you guys were laughing and just like pulling pranks, you know, fake beards and things like that? Ha ha ha ha ha. Totally just like that. Girls screaming running after me. No, it was creeps.

It was paparazzi, just the worst form of life. And I thought like, this is not good. This cannot be good for a person, one way or the other. This bizarre exposure to a strange kind of... And they knew on some level, like Rob and person like have done really great stuff since, but they knew on some level that what was happening to them was more new relation to who they actually were or what they were doing. Or frankly, the real import of what they were doing. So it was equally grotesquen bizarre. And then if they said that they didn't want it

or that they wish things were otherwise, they would get sort of excoriated. But I did seem like a really unpleasant way to live. I remember when, Kristen Stewart was on the daily show when I worked there as a guest. And just like leaving one night and the guest entrance,

I don't know how, I guess they would announce the schedule ahead of time sometimes. But it was just like, the guest entrance was swarmed with this huge crowd of people who were only there to get her to like sign things that they could sell them. And I remember leaving late that night, and as I was leaving like turning back because there was a huge SUV parked outside the front door, which was very nondescript. The door of the staff used, like you would not even know the daily shows located there.

I guess if there wasn't a huge sign above it that said, that had John that said, like, if you're looking for Larry Flint's Hustler Club, go around the corner. But which was for many years, the billboard that was right up was John pointing in that direction. But the, and seeing like, that like her very, like, sadly, like leaving the front door and getting into that car, that like, she had to wait leaving the front door and getting into that car that like she had to wait for a long time and then use the other entrance just to like just so that she wouldn't be you know mobbed and destroyed and she just seemed so incredibly like sad and lonely

it was terrible anyway yeah that's when I reached out my hand to her and we had kind of like a Roman holiday style you know just like a lot of night on the town wow was that one you guys had your thing? if by thing you mean lawsuit. Yes But no, it's just like I mean it was one of those moments where I was like you know cuz I like I like the spotlight to a certain extent But in those moments where it was like I'm so glad that I'm like a nobody in this moment, you know what's that like I This is gonna sound this is gonna seem so absurd coming on the heels of

superstar This is gonna sound, this is gonna seem so absurd coming on the heels of Superstar, Kristen Stewart off of Superstar series Twilight. But, you know, like obviously podcast fame is the smallest fucking slice of fame one could ever have. But it is very straight, like you get like a taste of having people know who you are when you do like a live show or something, right? And like you go and do these things and don't get me wrong listeners, I really appreciate that people care about what we do and I love talking to people, but it is very strange to have people excited to see you because you're like, wait a minute. I know

I'm me. Like, so why do you care about that? I'm not even excited to see me. I know how I am. This is not worth it. Like, and to imagine that like times a billion, like it must be the loneliest life to lead to go through that sort of thing. Yeah, I think it must be very strange. Actually, the way you're saying it reminded me of when I write a character and anyone has any genuine emotional response to that character. And I just think, well, this, no, this is some bullshit that I know is wrong. I think that's, I think that I remember I was sitting in my underwear and I typed this. I don't think that's the secret secret behind George Lucas and JK Rowling

and stuff like that is that people are like, oh, but what about this tiny detail? And they're like, I don't know, I just made it up someday. And then I don't care. I don't think about that stuff. And of course, JK Rowling is dedicated to bit by bit destroying everything that she's built, but George Lucas tried to as much as he could

and just could not accomplish it. But I think it was when think it was when Jake here, Alan started talking about that was it a real thing which to how her wizards would poop in their pants and then magic away the poop. I think that was the only assistant. I think it was an assistant, but it, you know, I think it tracks. Like if you look at the novels, there's nothing in there that says they don't ship their pants and then they never are there any.

So what's going to the bathroom? I don't ship their pants and then they never are there any so what's going to the bathroom I don't think so well I'm going to say like moaning mill moaning my heart all like right oh yeah that's right there's a ghost why did she live in the toilet anyway that's where she died she died there too yeah come on and some respect for a ghost like here's the did she say whether they she the wizards would poop in their pants? Will wear a sleep pooping, Dan. Just like a window. Well, I thought it was just like wherever they were.

So like, in their pants, I know, to go over the controversy. But was this all to prevent people having the image of wizards sitting on a toilet? Like, was it? That was too undig�ent. You know, I had to magic away in their poop. the some tremendously terrible things. So let's not even bother making fun of it. Okay, so Twilight, New Moon, you've shot at what in Portland? No, Vancouver. Yeah, Canadian Portland. Oddly, though, after a visit to Portland to see the original locations so that we could copy them kind of brick by brick, basically. So we rebuilt a facade of Bella's house

because everything is washed very closely by the try-hards and you will know if you've made a mistake you will be called out. Before, actually, the movie comes out because they'll see pictures from Monts-Sett. So there's a huge controversy when Edward's uh... brown and not whatever color it was supposed to be before that but that was the deal that we got from ballbow man now i've seen i think the first

three of these movies maybe maybe just the first two is that's why light i i knew moon and twilight the search for spot mm-hmm I apologize Chris for not remembering witches and which is the baseball scene there are no witches at all is there a stupid

well-bearers in two days which one has the baseball in it is that was that was a busy the no that would be the first I could not for the life of me think of how to shoot that well that's what I was about to wonder like I was about to ask like when you get a Source material with that has let's say

Difficult Difficult yes to visualize elements like sparkly vampires. What do you do in those situations? I think the only way you can actually survive is to take it all quite seriously. So I do remember saying something like, so we're gonna really, we're gonna revamp. No, I didn't say that way. Actually, that was really good.

Was that a wink? I think you winked at it. With a wink, we're gonna, we're gonna try and do just for that for the sparkle on the vampires. We're gonna try and just for that for the sparkle on the vampires Yeah, like it was to take it all quite seriously, but I think I told you guys the the story about how I didn't want Taylor Swift to be in the movie because It would throw people too much from the reality of the movie. They would say two tailors and one movie

Yeah, it's possible They would say two tailors and one movie. In Massival. What is this filler on the roof? There's only one tailor. I'm not talking about it. What is this? Tinkertailer. Tinkertailer. Take it very seriously. Like, you know, you see.

Tinkerts. Tailer. Tailers. Five. We're out of soldiers. Can I throw in an extra tailor? It's not really the same thing. Please.

My boss is going to fire me if I don't close this a car. What if I get a three-tailor? Look, everyone knows that it's Colin Firth who did it anyway. So just take this extra tailor. So sorry, but you're saying. So what was taking? I know, you know, like it's very seriously going into the designing of the Bolteurie, you know, Palace thing. You know, but like, you got to take it, everything with dead seriousness. Which actually is also like, it would have been lame to be sort of ironic about the way that I was making it. Actually, at the time, I remember thinking like, this is going to be, you know, like the first one was kind of poppy and cool and fun and this was going to be sort of

wise green sort of lush presentation. For the best. It was gonna be the Empire Strikes Back to the first one, Star Wars. We're gonna like deepen it, like make it like a little more sophisticated. And Michael Sheen was in this one, right? Michael Sheen was, and he was so much fun.

I feel like he's like the perfect guy for that kind of thing, because he, man, he's, oh, I love that guy I mean we just do for it do little was he came out on he's he really just he enjoyed himself but without kind of being like one of the the sort of British guys that you hire who are just kind of during the scenery and and winking at the audience at the same time he was he was deeply into it and yeah he said he was basing his his character on the blue meanies from yellow sub-credits and then Dakota Fanning lovely Dakota Fanning was a huge

twilight and so we she was able we were able to get her to be in this movie is it like a relatively small part but you know she has like five lines but is amazing uh... creepy actually she i i r c it's there's a lot i don't remember from the blue that i remember her very well from it even though it was not a lot of it just because it's been a while and you know i've seen it

i've seen the other movies in the series so many times, but I've only seen that one the one time. So, you know, I'm like, oh, is it like the scene in Twilight Four when they're fighting over that lava pit? No, no, no, that's it. What about the scene where he's climbing the Empire State Building and he's got Bella in his hand? No, no, wait, hold on, that's King Kong.

Hold on. What about, is it, is it, I think I heard you say you say the best thing to say was you didn't want to see it again after your first experience in the cinema because nothing will be. Oh, I was I know. It was just not going to match up to that same experience. Yeah, energy the crowd, you know, energy the crowd and the theater. Oh, yeah, it's just it was just a it was just such a beautiful experience. I was like, I don't think my system can handle it a second time. So you're saying you forgot all about it and what can I remind you? I remember so

was it in the novel that the werewolves don't like to wear shirts when they're people? It's a good question. I think that's right. I think so. It wasn't just because I like seeing cute boys with no shirts on. I mean that's but No, it's because it is because they run they run super hard their feverish right all the time They run like a hundred and six feet at all times. That's that makes sense obviously Yeah, I mean it must be they're hot-blooded check it and see that like you're saying you're taking it really seriously And it feels like that that sounds like the best way to have fun with a project like that probably

is to take it seriously and to really get into the details of it and want it to be as cool as you can make it. I think I wanted it to be as good for the fans as I could make it as much of a fan pleasing experience. But I actually also remember being deeply depressed. Sorry to bring you back there. For a while, it used to be that way. So American Pie I was super happy while I was making it.

It was just the best thing and I was like, oh this is for me, this is like a filmmaker's life for me. And then every movie afterwards just I just kind of realized how much I could screw up or how things could go wrong and how often you were foiled doing it and trying to do what you want to do. And so it became this incredibly stressful experience and I usually fall into depression at some point during the process. Well, that's what I wanted to ask. Oh, sorry, I'll leave you. No, you go ahead. I'll save my question. Well, I wanted to ask, you know, like, not to, I don't want to make you feel any worse, like, is this really, if anything

that he is, this many meoculples ahead of time, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. It's like, it's not good. Like, anyone I know will be a big show, but how do you sleep at night? Oh, no, no, no, no, how dare you? Basically, anyone I know. But how do you sleep at night? How dare you? Basically anyone I know who's been in show business for a long time seems very, very weary all the time.

I was just wondering what you thought was the most sort of pleasant and personally rewarding experience, whether or not it was, you know, regardless of product. Well, I think as a part of filmmaking, I think editing is my joy. I love it. It's like video games and puzzles and washing movies and finding little easter eggs all the time. And that's really great.

Specifically, I guess making American pie is hard to beat in terms of just how much fun it was from beginning to end, because not knowing all the things that could go wrong or not knowing, not having any expectations whatsoever. And then, you know, about a boy, I think, the final result was really sort of delightful and the way that people received it, that was the super gratifying experience. Yeah, I was gonna ask before you've made kind of like, big budget kind of big scope movies

and you've made smaller kind of human size movies, and I wondered if you felt more comfortable with the one or the other, with the human size ones, or with the ones where you get to do whatever you want, or not wherever you want, because you're talking about. Yeah, I think I figured it out now,

which is my ideal movie to direct now would be two people sitting at a table talking. Like I don't want, I realized that the reason that I'm not particularly good at directing action is that I don't really like it. I mean, I get it, it's fine. But, you know, like the last movie I made Operation Phenol, I had a couple of car chases in it.

And I was like, okay, well, are they gonna catch them or they won't? And so why don't we get to the part where they do or they don't catch them? Rather than having to do all the stuff where you know cars are doing unlikely things. And so yeah I like that. I like now. I think I really like the small ones. And the problem with directing the really huge ones is you think you've got all these amazing. You do have incredible resources at your disposal. But the stress level is so high because having spent so much money on these things, the studios freaking out constantly.

And, you know, quite reasonably expecting you to make a movie that will pay back at least part of their investment. So that's super stressful. So I think little movies are the way to go these days. And I was gonna ask with having worked on Twilight New Moon, even though it's kind of a different role, you then went on to work on Star Wars Road 1. Did any of your experiences working in existing, like universe or an existing novel inform how you approached working on a Star Wars movie? I mean, that was a bit different just because I you know I

from age seven I was completely all about Star Wars all the time although it was only really the original trilogy not you know so I was like I feel like ultra orthodox. Okay you weren't pitching on that subull bus spin-off. The bull. That's about that's about when he was a. What a grand admiral throw on origin picture or something. Um, no, you wanted no part of it. Um, you know, I knew it. I like, so actually really there, there I kind of knew I was the choir that I was reaching to. So so so that was kind of great, you know, I think Like that's as close as I've ever

Been to making a fan a fan film right it was like it was fan. Yeah, although yeah, that's last fake But you know, well, I don't know No, I can imagine that being fun because like I remember there was a time that I wrote a I can imagine that being fun because I remember there was a time that I wrote a Simpson spec script and it was like yeah like you know at that point the Simpson said already be on the air for like 16-17 years or whatever and I was like this is the worst thing to write a spec script for because no one's gonna care no one's gonna look at this and be like yeah that's the hip-new show that you're writing a spec script but like it was also just so much more enjoyable

because I'm like, okay, this is a thing that I grew up with. And I feel like I know who these people are. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, that was, I actually, I should say, in terms of sort of peak experiences, just getting to work on that was, was up there because it was what I felt like I'd sort of been heading toward my whole life

Really and I just like that and and one of the most intense experiences In Hollywood for me was to go to that first meeting where I knew that that there's a possibility I could write a Star Wars movie not knowing what it was gonna be because everything is like super top secret or whatever And then finding out it was gonna to be for, you know, the story of the opening crawl. It was like this is sort of full circle, like weird parallel universe experience. That was cool. Cool.

Cool. Okay, this. All right. Okay. Well, that's the way Stuart and his. Cool. Cool. Cool. And and takes a drink. So Chris, you want to ask us anything?

Well, now you get your questions. Well, that way this is now we have to do the thing we're going, what's next for Chris Whites? Gosh, putting children to bed, which involves a lot of shouting somehow. I get it. So I'm telling people the same thing over and over again. It's just fucking... Oh, half my day is me going, Sammy, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth,

brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, and he's like, daddy, let me tell you about brush your teeth. Let me tell you about this thing. Brush your teeth. Do you think a snake could beat an owl in a fight, brush your teeth? Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth.

Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth.

Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the earth. Breath of the kicking the shit out of an eye out of a snake. Yeah, but I think that I imagine that another raptor would be able to handle it.

The colonial flag before Mexico getting independent shows the eagle paying off the snake. To throw the flag. I was all kicked. Yeah, it's all like flag. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, the snake is the snake. Actually, the thing is the snake is the baby face and the eagle is the heel and it's all being set up so that you're like Snake come on snake win it back, but they never made the next flag So I guess we didn't I mean it doesn't even have arms and legs and wings and shit like that's unfair You got a root for him Yeah, it's truly the only thing is like do I have questions for you? It's like this weird experience of the fact that you have I've heard you speak more than you will probably ever hear me speak, right?

And because we've had our conversations together, but I've heard hundreds of hours of you guys talking to each other. I know everything I need to know, you know. I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Chris. If you could just tape yourself and email it to me, though we're just talking and Just to work out these emails. Hey, back. Yeah, you need.

So, OK, so let's say the Flapphouse movie's getting made. You're going to meet with us. What's your take? What's your angle on it? Oh, wow. Yeah, OK, I'd say, I'd probably say we know about the podcast.

What about the podcasters? What do they do in their lives outside of the podcast and how? It'd be kind of a Shakespeare and love, maybe kind of thing. And like maybe it would be about an episode, but how your kind of action pack lives outside of it influence the way that that episode goes. Maybe we do a little sort of like a weird sort of narrative jumping back and forth like I was just watching this movie assassin by what is it? The Japanese film by Shinoda or like yes some kind of like Japanese samurai film where they're like talking about the first time they met somebody and then you flash back to that yeah I think I'd like that or maybe an origin story actually maybe how you three guys met like a riser one of those risers yeah I was hoping he were going to say, Chris, that Dan and Herrits an old movie theater. And we all have to get a living.

I think that's a sitcom, face. Oh, right. Well, I mean, the real great one is, like, it has always been where I sort of play this kind of, this long con and like, befriends you guys and eventually take my terrible revenge. That you know, I've joked about this before, but that even that is part of the long con. It's just to, you know, to really sort of get you guys to trust me.

Yeah. I know what you did eight years ago. Nine years ago. I know what you did on that podcast and said, is everybody else. I know the thing that you did, but did not harm my career at all, because who gives a shit about these three assholes? It's a long title, but you know, okay.

My filthy take on I know you too was always I blew you I don't know why and I was like a joke that I told myself Yeah, the problem is with Twitter the jokes that I tell myself are now the jokes I tell everyone Unfortunately, yeah, although is a dead issue. Yeah, that is a problem. Although, Dan, actually, what reminds me that I saw a picture of the Yoda statue outside of Lucasfilm and the Presidio with the words matter, Black Lives, do, written, and green,

you know, spray painted in green underneath it And my first thought was where were you when I needed to you green fuck? Because when I was when I was, uh, you know, calling out the empire for white suit primacy Um, uh, I was getting all kinds of hate, hate tweets Oh yeah, emails and stuff. Where was yo? Yeah, I like that. I like that graffiti because it's they use Uh, that you know to use green so you know for sure It's you that's the only It's reassuring. It's the only color you can see. Oh wow. It's kind of sad actually That's why I'm bigger but it's like very yeah

Big on praying I wonder he was hitting art. You did do with his stick so much. He couldn't see him is trying to figure out where that guy was was hitting our duty to with his stick so much he couldn't see him is trying to figure out where that guy was. Well guys, I think we're a whited down and I'm getting really hot. It's on air. It's tired. We went through a chunk of Chris's career. We started a new celebrity feud. Chris Versiota.

I will. I will have I will have Chris White's back on the show anytime he wants to come back. I just, you know gentlemen Spinnin' honor Thank you so much for being with us at Lettuce letting us needle you about your career while learning great things about your career Before I was great. I think I may have missed bath time, which would be the best Let's kind of why scheduled the podcast when I did it,

because I was trying to schedule it that time. Yeah, but it's your bad story. I know, but I don't like bats. Hey, it's like, sorry, I missed bat time, I guess, stinky stew in bed again tonight. Before we wrap up, we should mention again that we just posted our our live show on YouTube and that's a live show that is for charity where we talk about how are the duck.

And I think as of the day that this releases, we're still accepting receipts of donations of $20 or more. You can go to floppaspodcast.com to find out information about that. We've already received an overwhelming amount of donations, which is amazing. I'm kind of blown away. Anything else you guys want to add? Yeah, we've had over 900 emails sent to us with proof of donation and each of those is a minimum $20 donation because they're raffle entries so you can do the math but that's the minimum of what we've

made and I mean eventually we will not that not we've made we're going to it's in donations yes no of that money made for charity I want everyone to be clear the money did not go to us it is for charity well I don't know how it could have L.A. because we were sending people directly to charities but sure let's make it clear the charity we were sending them to was the Flop House Institute for Special Carey Studies all for charity and we donated 10k ourselves to charity we're so proud of all of the listeners who donated were so glad that they were able to do so yes, we for the raffle we will be accepting

proof of donation the day that is drop still that will be the last day that we'll accepting it for the raffle But you know for your own Karma for your own beliefs, to help people, you can donate whenever you like. There are other reasons to donate besides to just win Flop House merchandise, as strange as that sounds, so please keep doing it. But thank you, yes Stuart,

if you go to the Flop House YouTube page, which is youtube.com slash c slash the Flop House podcast, or you can just go to it. Yeah, Dan, are you leaving the door? Are you leaving the door open for people to send you receipts of donations and in exchange you'll send them nudes? Cause I think there's a lot of it's for it. It's not just me. I think there's other people that leave that. Not just you. Thank you. We can talk off air. By the way, Dan, I am not in the market for that. So please don't accept any receipts.

Do it. Increase the, I'm making a sit. I was going to say I was going to increase the, you're increasing the likelihood of me sending you to, but I don't even want to do that. No, please do not do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thank you all. Yes, thank you all for your amazing generosity. And that show is up to watch whenever you might want to. It is much longer than we intended, so it's better to watch it now. Still the podcast.

You can stop it and go do other stuff in the middle. Maybe skip the third or fourth time we talk about whether ducks can have boobs or not. Yeah. And so, Chris, do you have anything that you'd like to either plug or increase awareness of before we go? No, I mean, I certainly don't have anything to plug. And I think that people are aware of what they should be aware of exactly right now. So I don't think anything I could add would actually. I mean, I'm going to, you know, I keep on thinking my, my next tweet is really going to push civil rights over the top

of this country. So many times, especially during the quarantine, I've had to be like, Hey, pay attention to your children. There is no way that the tweet you are working on right now is going to get Trump removed from office or end racism. So you might as well do something else. I'm like, you're right, brain, you're right. Yeah, I can try that. Okay, well, thank you, everyone. Thank you, listeners for listening. We love you all. Be safe, do good in the world. For the flop, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin, thanking our very special guest,

who is? Chris White, thank you guys. Thank you all out there in the flop houseland. All the flops at sea. Good night everyone. If you're like Chris and are listening to us, as you go to sleep. Bye! And I'd everyone, if you're like Chris and are listening to us, as you go to sleep. Shhhh!

Byeee! We are the host of my brother, my brother, me, and now nearly 10 years into our podcast, The Secret Can Be Revealed. All the clues are in place, and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin. Embedded in each episode of my brother, my brother, and me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big beautiful blue world of ours. So start coming through the episodes.

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