The Flop House - Flop House Bloopers and Practical Jokes

Episode Date: August 19, 2011

Just bloopin' around.

Hey, it's Dan here. A word of warning. The episode you are about to listen to is not a regular episode. We got together to report a regular episode, and we discovered that for some reason our equipment had started picking up radio signals. So you will hear hip hop being played beneath the episode as reported. I have ordered a new equipment that hopefully will fix this problem. But in the meantime, I've taken a poll on the website of listeners. And they said, yeah, sure. Give us this episode as a special bloopers edition. They would rather have that than having to wait these several weeks until we're all back

invocation to give a real episode. So enjoy, but if you're a new listener, realize that this is not a normal episode, please go back and listen to an actual episode. For everyone else, don't say we didn't warn you. Yeah, Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem.

Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem.

Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Lady Bethlehem. Magic you've got a He's a mutant he's not magic By the way, yeah, I'm really excited about this new ultimate Marvel Raki Reku Rocky Reku Rocket Reku Rocky Rocket out on the world of tomorrow. Rocky Rocket out on the world of tomorrow is a project I'm working on as you know that he was reminded he was working. I can crack it out in the world of tomorrow as a project I'm working on, as you know. That he was reminded he was working on it. Because I forgot about it. Yeah, make sure my levels are good.

Yeah, mine too. Check. Your levels always seem to be pretty much the same on the one who's like, which load, not very much. Yeah, it's because as I've said before, you constantly change the amount of distance you have from the microphones. I walk back and forth like some kind of crazy retarget. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't put that in.

Jack. And we're going out live, aren't we tonight? Yeah, okay, so we got a call. The Paylon family. The Returns Foundation. Crazy retarget from America. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way And foundation

Three two One Hey, everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys. I'm Stuart Wellington and hey fellows. I'm Elliott Kaelin Elliott Kaelin's bison it up a little you got to change things We all change him up like Oh Jason Bateman's and your Ryan Reynolds yep, we all peed in a magic fountain tonight and now babies look like ladies

Just like in the poster You're holding up a baby. Oh no, it's a lady and that's a baby again. Similar face then. Very confusing erection. Or wait, not in that view of that. Look on Ron Reynolds face in the poster. He's like as if the lady is literally dropped out of the sky into his arms. Or they just told a really good joke. Yeah. Like a like a mag-joker or something. Yeah. Joke about their panties, perhaps. Why their panties look like diapers.

Man, it's a magic statue, P and all that kind of shit. Is it a magic statue? I thought that it's a P on a magic statue. Yeah, P in a magic fountain. We'll have to watch three coins in a magic fountain. Three P's Magic Stats. The P on Magic Fountain. No, we're all up to watch three coins in a magic fountain. Three P's in a fountain. We could be on first.

Man, we had a... We had a... So what do we do here, Dan? We had a painful time getting to the block house. Yeah, I hope everyone listening to the block house tonight really appreciates it. And I hope we do a good show. And I'll get it and I...

Dan and I... Dan and I... I would call it the Hell show. And Elliot and I, we're gonna start gonna train together. I would call it the hell train. The hell train to Duntown, to Duntown. That's how you're trying, yeah. I mean, it's only slightly better than a midnight meet train. We did not get slaughtered. But we also didn't get to eat meat.

Yeah, there was a mini CGI, a Gore FX. No, I mean, usually takes a good, really, 45 minutes day to get from work to home and today. In this modern day and age. A full two hours, a lot of stopping, a lot of not going anywhere, a lot of walking in the humidity. And in the meantime, Stuart, poor Stuart Wellington, was sitting outside my apartment on the stew place. Like a great cat. Like a baby in a basket.

Just hanging out, jagging it. jagged it really on the street so what I would like to point out to our listeners at home who might be following Dan's career is that he got the job that he's been trying to get and now is complaining kind of about having to come home from it I know I don't know we're complaining about the fault the crime of my old with the about the collapse of the metropolitan transit authority yeah controls the New York subways and doing a terrible job while there's people who are stuck in home there's people who are stuck in home you mean like you stuck at home playing video games all day yeah well that was I'm you know I

work four days a week out I got a prep I got to get a center myself for that by playing Mortal Kombat true by being Freddie Krueger in Mortal Kombat. Yeah, of course. I will say it's too bad this is not a mass transit podcast. It's called The Train House, because we could talk about a lot. It's some choice words for someone. Like a vulgar. Yeah. Port Manto.

Choice words. So we watch movies here, right? Yeah, that's the thing. Is that what we do? I thought we complained about getting home from work. We watched a film tonight. Barely. I'm going to go on record saying we watched what was barely a film tonight.

Oh, I thought we barely watched it. Well, at five times. That's true. We chose a very short movie because of the aforementioned a watch uh... beastly which came in a trim one minute and twenty wait a minute yeah wow this wasn't short movie one hour and twenty six minutes yeah eighty six minutes less than i want to have felt like it was five

hours uh... like a health train part to the movie health train the movie. The hell I mean. Hell and Keller. I think it would be fair to say that this movie was a tale of all this time. Yeah it was the song as old as rhyme. Possibly. It was about a beauty in the beast. Not in that order. And how they came to fall in love. Yeah, same old shit, right? Well, it's the story of beauty.

Same old fun and dance, my friend. The story of beauty in the beast told from the beast's point of view. And also, and set in modern day New York. And also, he's not that beastly, and it's dumb. Yep. He blows. We open on a modern day high school,

which also resembles, as Stuart mentioned, the cloning facility from Star Wars Episode 2, the turn of the clone attack. So that there are a lot of... Of the menace. There are a lot of Django Fets running around, or shit loads of Django Fets. Yeah, the whole football team is Django Fets.

But, uh... They'd be really good. Alex, Alex Petty Fur, a clubhouse returning from the hit film I'm number four. Sure. And maybe the least charismatic young man in movies today, uh, is running for, is it, what's really, uh, the green committee? Yeah, some sort of environmental, uh and his speech it opens with his candidate speech, which is I'm handsome ugly people suck and I'm rich Vote for me. I don't even care about this shit vote for me. So he wins thunderous applause Thunderous applause and also one of the Olsen twins

Which one? I can narrow it down to two. The one who still acts. I feel like there's one who has had some minor success. Robert DeVolves. Yeah. The older brother. Robert DeVolves. He looks good. Yeah.

Poor middle aged man, Olsen. Very fetching. So she's like a like a like a witch. She's a team and she is the because in the high school world that they kind of sketch in they don't spend a lot of time setting it up. The popular handsome kids are the automatic rivals of the team which is and also Venesaka Huggins Venesaka Huggins. Venesaka Huggins, known to everyone as the newd on the internet girl from high school musical and known to us as... No, to everyone? Yeah, like even the Dolly Lama? Yeah. Like even Vladimir Putin would be surprised. Like the news that someone from...

Like even... even like... It was naked on the internet. Poojin Tao. Spam. Whoa. It's like one of those montages where you know like... Oh, there's a lot of newspapers. Yeah, newspapers, and then it goes to some reason the telegraph is still being used. People like Inuit are hearing methods, but anyway, we know her at the flop house for her role as boring one in the sacrifice. Which one was boring? As opposed to all the exciting ones? Yeah, in the dull movie, the smuckers bunch. The smuckers bunch.

About cosplay, chair. I wonder if it only been called the smuckers bunch and been like a Disney movie with Don Nots about kids who like steal jam. They're like jam things from the movie. I mean, you wouldn't have to change the movie that much, right? So, you have to add the jam, man. Okay. Less pie and, man. Okay. Less pie and belly button.

Okay, we can do that. What about the more full frontal? We can do that, but what technology can we do that with? We have the technology. Yeah, we can do that all the time. We can do that with our imaginations, guys. All right, the movie and our mind. Okay, book on tape.

Yes. What's the book on tape you read to yourself? So anyway, beastly. Beastly, so he wins President of this committee and he has a prank on the witch where he says, you know what, would you come to the stands with me and then she shows up and he goes, you really think I'd dance with you or sleep with you and she puts a curse on him. Yeah, he thought he was pulling a carry on her, but she was actually just giving a... But she was giving a... a hairy...

Yeah, him. And this all takes place in like the first five minutes of movie. Yeah, it's a really fast-moving movie for a while. So, what, and so he turns, you guessed it, beastly. But how does it, how does it manifest itself? Does he have claws, fur, fangs, a wearable type creature, an eight type creature, a dog type creature? What does he turn into? Well, he gets a bunch of tattoos. Yeah, okay, and some stars with metal inside of you. Okay, and like what it looks like a monster, right? Nah, you can't have a ball. Yeah.

The like he's so hideous he can't show his face. He's like, it can't look cool. He can't look like a cool guy. Look at it, look at it. He's kind of got it. Yeah. But he's like a monster. Like people are screaming at this.

I think that like a goth girl might have really hot. I mean, the scream of this always abs. Let me know if it you cut up He is chisels Yeah, and those tattoos only just bring it out, you know, yeah, they just can't take your eyes away We've got a magical animated tattoos which makes me even cooler. That's right. Yeah, exactly He's got a tattoo of a tree on his arm and when the tree is in the loom because That's the only way he sees him, when tender blood understands, there's no calendars in this world. Yeah, yeah, he lives in an alternate world with no calendars.

So the only way he knows the year has passed is because the tattoo changes. And so he is all tattooed and scarred up, but he still looks presentable. He doesn't look like a fashion model anymore except in like, know Some magazines. You know like bizarre or something. So his father not buzz are Right Harper's bizarre. Yeah, no He his father who is Peter Krause from six feet under that's a pronounces name. Yeah, that's how I pronounce it Krause it's not Krause. I don't think so Krause. Yeah, that's how I've never had no that's it's not Krause. I don't think so I mean like they're words with me at the end that you don't name one I dare you

So the boring guy that boring shows six feet under is a This is sports night. Yeah, he'd have cried. Oh, it Herman J sports night The guy the name the show after I didn't know he was in this I just found it's fortunate. So Nate from the city under is the dad of this guy and He's a famous reporter in New York. What does he do when his son shows up covered in tattoos and kind of scarring? Does he a say? that tune is kind of scarring, does he A? Say, hey, I still love him. Does he B? Tell him, of course, you still have to go to school.

You can really look like kind of stupid. Where does he C? By a house in Brooklyn, forced the son to stay there and never leave. I feel like this quiz is unfair since we do and I both watch the movie. I don't know, still. It was fair, right?

Fair enough. Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait, D? You know what's up, Mel, right? I did not give you a D. Choice letter C. Yes, they buy a house in Brooklyn and he just lives there. Heights him away.

With their black Jamaican maid slash person. As opposed to the white Jamaican maid? They're white. I'm sure they're white. Yeah, I mean, sure. And all like hippies. I'm just trying to point out LA's racism. By accurately describing someone's skin color? Wait, what?

Look, there's only one black person in the entire movie. I just wanted to highlight that there is some attempt to have another race in the movie besides white. There's more than some attempt, there is too much attempt. Like, this is the most Jamaican woman. She is very over the top Jamaican. Yeah, like you expect her to just be singing reggae and you know, you know, you know, dreads everywhere. Yeah. That's it. Everything we know I'd make it Bob Marley. Anyway, so that's America. And the other guy who shows up is TV's Do-E-Hauser. That's what he's best known for now, right? Neil Patrick

Harris. The star of... How I met your mother and every award show. And he is hired by Peter Krausa to be Alex Piper's tutor and he's blind. So he can see and see people's story. But mostly he's just a snidegator. I thought it was a baby's magic? Well, not I mean, blind people are shallows and rust. Yeah, they have magic powers. Oh, okay. Solseing powers Like Ray Charles had Really? Yeah, Ray Charles if you touch Tim, you could see your future So he's got like the shining or the dead zone the dead zone. Yeah, that was charred Ray Charles

Was originally Stephen King wrote it about Ray Charles, which was used to give permission to reach out to all the panelists. I thought it was about Anthony Michael Hall or whatever. Well, he played the character in a TV show. So wait, it wasn't about him, though? No, it's usually when someone is starring in a TV show, the show is not about them. But what about Seinfeld? That was about Jeremy Seinfeld.

That's right. That's right. It was about Jeremy Seinfeld. That's right. It was about Jeremy Seinfeld. You're right. Yeah. Air to the Seinfeld stand up for him. That his father, Jerry, started. Basically, the ugly guy is unhappy because he's ugly. He realizes he is in love with Vanessa Hudgens, he starts

to stalk her, and then through a, he finds out she's a good person who hands out sandwiches to homeless people, and through a series of unfortunate events involving a mugger and a trigger happy dad, he convinces Vanessa Hudgens dad to send Vanessa Hudgens to him to live with him in Brooklyn and be sequestered away from the world. And that's his plan to get her to love him so that he can be freed from his curse. Basically, imagine what he's saying to me. Imagine a screenwriter trying to figure out a way to modernize the beauty of the Beast story, wherein the Beast has trapped beauty into his castle.

But not realizing that in a modern version of this story, this would just seem like a creepy kidnap thing. Yeah, nobody would be okay with it. We lose all sympathy for the beast and for anyone who ended up in a bed of the beast. Especially the twin maid who, yeah. Especially since we know that the beast is like a dude. Like we know he's just a regular guy.

At least in the Beauty and the Beast story normally, you're like, oh, he's a horrible monster. They're like monster or a Damon or something like that. Damon. Yeah, is he is he mad Damon? The Academy Award win away. Damon. What happened was it would be called beauty in the Damon.

Beasley broke up. Beasley broke up the mugging. Spirited away this this knocked out No, just like in the movie spirit it away and then he comes running back to I don't know what like maybe Like tell the muggers that they should never touch her again just in time for to get there when her dad's shooting one of the guys That's like that's crazy and the other guy is just kind of walking around in the background It doesn't notice that it gone is just been fired until around in the background because he noticed that it gone It's just been fired until he sees the body. It's a very poorly put together

It's not well staged. It's already a like a difficult concept for us to understand that Somehow this guy shot this mugger and now he's being basically what like blackmailed I guess so yeah Self-defense. Yeah. We're a weird term for the movie to take where there's been no violence in the film. I've built that point. And suddenly beastly is like beating people up and being like, getting shot. Yeah.

So it's already a strange idea and then it's pulled really awkwardly. Yeah, it breaks the tone of it. There's a lot of tonal shifts because then once a Vanessa Hudge and gets to Beastly's house, it turns into this kind of light comedy romance which like, all the only way I know how to attract her is to put expensive purses outside of her door. Here you go. Whoa, wearing a ski mask. Well, wearing a ski mask so she can't see my hideous, mad tooth face.

Which girls prefer a ski mask to face. But it's like, and blinding and Jamaican need to help them out. The music is like, wap wap you