The Flop House - Flop House Classics - Fateful Findings

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

In honor of our upcoming 400th episode, we're picking some classics to revisit!Dan introduces FATEFUL FINDINGS, the film that introduced us to Neil Breen.Originally released as episode 187  on 09.19.2015 --**apologies for any sound issues/wrongheaded past statements-- we hope to have improved since then!

Greetings, flop-out listeners, new and old. I know it's an explanation. As the 400th episode of the show approaches, we thought we would put out some favorite episodes, just a few in the week leading up to the 400th. We each picked one. I picked this one in part because it was the one that came up the most when talking to listeners. So you guys really enjoy this one. I understand why this is our first encounter with Mr. Neal Brin, a very interesting fellow. If you've never heard this episode, you will understand why. And coming across this was on the level of, I don't know,

seeing the room for the first time. Another similar vanity project from another unusual person behind the camera. When we encountered it, it was much like the movie says, a magical day. I want to take a brief note to say that up top, I address some kind of serious personal business. We're just kind of an odd thing to have on one of these best episodes.

This was right when I was getting a divorce. Long time, listeners at the time will have been surprised by it, but I just want to assure everyone, you know, many years on, it was for the best for me, it was for the best for my ex, and we're both happy where we are now. And also to say that because this is an older episode, I don't know, maybe we say something dumb on here, maybe the sound isn't quite as good as it's gotten since we got a dedicated producer, apologies for that. We got better. But I hope you enjoy this episode, Faithful findings. On tonight's episode we watched Indie Darling. Faithful frightening. No. Faithful findings. Faithful findings. Faithful findings. Faithful findings. Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. As always, I am Stewart Wellington.

And sometimes I'm not me, but today I am. I'm Ellie Katelyn. Great. So if you're tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie. Hey, thanks for tuning in and then we talk about it. So we're time to interject that Stuart. Yeah. You're pay friends and new friends old friends and you friends. Thanks to theodore guys. Oh, it's Laurie in the flopphouse. Stuart Wellington. Hey, for new listeners, maybe you can shut off your brains for a moment, but'm telling you, I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm not a good full findings. For old listeners, I just, I have a little thing I wanna address off the top. I wanna just take a moment to say one personal thing and that's that my wife and I are separating. And I only share this with you guys briefly so I don't have to talk around the changes in my life and pretend they haven't happened, which I think would be weird

But otherwise this is obviously a very private thing. I like to keep it that way, but Just because the internet has a tendency to be a cruel place where people take sides on things I just want to I just want to iterate that there are no sides to be taken here my wife Soon to be x but my wife Sarah is the best person I know and we remain great friends and we always will. And so I just wanted to say that off the top before we get back to being funny. And also, just, you know, we've had a lot of people write in and say that the podcast has helped us it's helped them through bad times. And I wanna say that the podcast

is helping me through bad times too. So I appreciate it. But that's that. I think I speak for everyone here at Flop House Co. When I say, you mean me? You get the two of us. Say that we love you very much.

And we're here for you. And that what that means in practical terms is if people want to go on the Facebook page and make jokes about this being because Dan's boring or something, then we'll probably blow up your house and kill your pets. So maybe don't do that. I don't really kill Dan's pets. No, not Dan's pets, although I don't like his cat. The people will say those things.

But that's just because you're allergic. Let's keep it clean. Yeah. Let's keep it clean. Yeah, let's keep it clean Facebook friends. Above the belt. Keep it above the belt. Above the belt, maybe be human beings on this one. It's not for everybody on the page, just for a few people who are jerks.

So we don't need to dwell on that. I just, and I know we didn't watch a movie tonight. What? This is all we're gonna talk about. Oh boy. Now we can get back to being funny. I wanted to dress that off the top so we can take the bad taste of it out of our mouths by then doing our regular show.

Kind of a lot of pressure. So let's take the top off. Talk about it. It's like this movie threatens to do many times. No, it takes up plenty of tops off. You just don't see what's unique. It drops them on the ground outside of frame. Because Dan, look, let's just say one thing. Yeah.

I'm just, I'm just going to kill the suspense on this one about whether I like this movie. The movie Watch Night was Faithful Finding. Faithful Finding. Faithful Finding. Faithful Finding is a movie I've wanted to see for over a year and now I think since I first saw it advertised online. And it was amazing. Look, you can have your rooms and your academics. Now I'm a fateful fine-ics man. Welcome to Small Vemper, everybody. Yeah, that's the thing.

This is definitely a Small Timber movie. This is a Small Vemper movie because Small Timber doesn't exist. This is a movie that I have to tell a little story, which is that, so gather round the heart, Kinder. Another one of Dan McCoy's movie tales. Actually, hold on for a second. Sorry, I had to briefly pause the recording to grab a letter, which was, Wait a moment, I have to cut and wizard.

I had planned two swordsords in their curtains. I really wanted to watch this movie for a small timber after seeing the trailer. And I tried buying it from the person who made it. What's as nice? Neil Breill-Brain. It is the, it was written, directed, moved by and stars Neil Brein,

who in his spare time is an architect. And a handsome hard body. And he's the movie with the movie with the movie with the handsome hard body who is catnip to the ladies. Even though the ladies in the movie kiss him as kind of chased Lee and with as little pleasure on their faces as possible. That's a thing. They're worried that they might cut themselves on his diamond-like chiseled features. But I went on the fateful findings website and tried to purchase it direct from the source and I paid the money and the DVD never showed up, which is very appropriate to the movie fateful findings.

But as if by magic, a flop house fan, Josh Hollis, the guy. How is that dude? He's done a bunch of great Flapphouse Photoshop. He did copies of the Flapphouse Inquirer. A bunch of great Flapphouse in jokes. But he mailed a copy of the DVD for faithful findings to us. Unbeknownst like he did not know that it was something that we wanted to watch. And it just magically appeared right before.

Okay. So in a way, didn't you get the DVD you bought? Yeah. As if I kissed Matt. Yep. It's almost like a mushroom magically morphed into that DVD. Yeah. Which leads us into that, I guess.

Well, let's just say this was a case when of serendipity, when fate has a sense of humor to strangle junkies out. So Neil Brain is an independent filmmaker and also our biggest independent. Independent from logic, skill, talent, story, telegobility, and let me. The ultimate alone in the shots. Let me just say that this is subtitle on the poster

for fateful findings is this is the subtitle on the poster. A paranormal thriller where a computer hacker exposes worldwide secrets. That only is... That is as much more succinct than the movie. It describes about two or three of the six or so plots that are going on in this movie, which include, it's gonna be so hard to talk about this movie

in chronological order, but let's see. So I'm just gonna mention off the top, we're gonna try, just mention off the top that there's a novelist, computer hacker who exposes secret government and corporate secrets as he calls them uh... his drug addicted pill popping wife his drunk neighbor who was a wife does not want to have sex with him is crazy team neighbor the dot teen daughter of his neighbors who is trying to seduce him also he there's a ghost and also magic stone powers. And disappearing people,

just a bunch of random disappearing people who we don't understand. Two psychotherapists. Two psychotherapists, one of whom is some sort of paranormal ghost spirit. Yeah, like I'll just not very good at his job. Yeah. And so let's start from the beginning, shall we? We begin sometime in the past. There are two kids are tromping through the woods as kids do. And they find a mushroom on the ground, which dissolves into a magic box of stones. Yep. So we're in like, Russo-finish folktale tutorial ready.

It doesn't do the normal thing that a mushroom does, which is either makes them a larger or smaller or makes Super Mario more super. That's, well, makes them bigger. Yeah, I guess that's just science. Yeah. Well, the thing is you want to get the right mushroom. Some mushrooms make you bigger and smaller,

some turn you super. When gives you an extra guy or something, right? Yeah, yeah, there's a one up mushroom. And some of them just make you real nice. I don't know what that means. Make you real nice. Not, I don't understand. You know. Like you real nice. I don't understand. You know.

Like a mushroom that teaches you to eat etiquette, and a politeness. That is. As your eye make that sound, every time you wink, then that's really what it is. That's really what it is. That's really what it is. So they find this magic mushroom, which is not a drug.

It's an actual mushroom that's magic. They take stones from it and the girl writes in her diary. It turns into a little box in a bag and they just keep pushing the rope. They push the bag over and then they cover it up with grass and it turns back into a mushroom. And, oh, by the way, there was a cattle skull that kind of like just kind of nodded. And after finding this magical box mushroom, the young girl writes in her diary, it's a wonderful day. It's a magical day. Oh shit. She writes it I watch a different movie. That's the one thing she writes on the page like like

Diagnol across the lines. It's a magical day. Unfortunately she and her family are moving away and And a voice over tells us that she has a bracelet a A voiceover, that's important for later. A voiceover from the boy, an Elgrone man played by Neil Brin, tells us that he never heard from her again and he never saw her again at the end of that magical summer. And there's like eight shots of the car driving away and the kid running after waving at it. And the distance that the kid is from the car

keeps shifting from shot to shot. And the car is moving at three miles an hour as a president. Let's just... And it's as if he found two children who have never waved before in their life. And then he had Ed Dawg teach them how to do it. I know. LAUGHTER

Let's just, right at the top, mention that everything in this movie is done at the lowest level of competency Everything is wrong, but it's like in a great way like I could not if I was trying Desperately hard to make a movie that was Poorly made and maybe it was terribly no sense. I would never be able to achieve it You would have I would have to unlearn so much basic film grammar. No, Tim and Eric could only dream of this movie. Yeah. They hope one day to sit at the feet of this Buddha of filmmaking.

Like compared to this guy, Tommy Wazzo is like Hitchcock, you know, basically. And that is not an exaggeration. The room is much more competently made in this film. So we flash forward to the present. A guy is walking down a sidewalk. It cuts to a wall. And this is intercut a sidewalk. It cuts to a whore. And this is intercut with shots of just random shit that doesn't seem to make any sense. There's a long panning shot or a long tracking shot. I'm sorry, down the

hallway of a storage locker facility. Apology accepted. Thank you. To a magic book on a pedestal of some kind that gold dust is falling on. Okay, cut away from that. We're not interested anymore The guys walking down the street turns out he's on the phone with his wife even though we don't hear him talking or see him talking And she is glad that he's coming home soon. She is at her kitchen sink, which is beautifully decorated with a potted plant The giant outdoor potted plant It's like they wanted the room to look lived in. So they just added the kind of potted plant you put outside a back door. Yeah, three bananas.

You're like, what kind of clip art can I drag over into this shot? He is hit by a car, a Rolls Royce, driven by a very busty lady whose face was never seen. Yeah, we never seen. But she is certainly nippley. That's what you know about her. And now that's what the APB for the police put up for her. Suspect is nippley.

Her headlights are on. This begins the major theme of the movie, which is teasing the viewer with the idea that they might get to see breasts and then not showing them. There are like four at least busty women in this movie that they keep for at least busty. Like they keep showing scenes where they are topless but they're lying on their chest and they're side or their back is to you or there's two different scenes where a woman's shirt comes off and you just see her feet and the shirt falls down.

And it won't come with like a makes a fuss out. Like a fool. Like there's some hilarious sound effects in here. So he's hit by a car. There's blood everywhere on his face. And he's lying perfectly still on his back. He doesn't even... He's just really trying to reach his foot phone. And...

But it's one of those razor phones where like it's open sideways. Yeah, because he's a famous novelist, dude. Yeah. It's, he goes to the hospital. He's given a, he has a magic stone in his hand. I don't know if he's given it or not. They take him to the hospital very slowly. They spend so much time putting an oxygen mask on his face.

Like if this was an instructional film about applying oxygen masks to the faces of coma victims, like they would do it with more speed. Well, there are also just like five people standing in a line saying, is he dead? Is he breathing? And each time that someone says something, it's intercut with a slow panning shot of their feet

as they stand there. And there's a shot of a guy going, he was hit by that Rolls Royce. I'm a witness. I saw it. The Rolls Royce was right there. Still there and it's still got blood all over the front of it. So that's your great witness, great.

There's so many shot scenes where it's a cut, it's a close up of someone saying a line, then either cut away to a panning shot of something unrelated or a close up of another person having a totally unrelated conversation. Like, it's like waiting for good dough level, like ambiguous dialogue at times. Like, it's like waiting for good dough level, like ambiguous dialogue at times. Anyway, so he goes to the hospital,

he's got a phantom of the opera of gauze, all over his face, just like covering half his face. Some people who we figure out are his wife and a friend, because the guy says, I'm his closest friend. I can't believe this has happened to him. There, the doctor takes a long time before he says anything. There's a little long shot of the doctor, the wife and the friend, and the doctor is just looking around. And I guess the idea is supposed to be that he's

examining the patient, but he's just kind of looking at all the stuff in the room. And he tells them it's, there's nothing he can do. He's very, he's a, there's very little brain activity. The neurologist comes over. She says he's not my client, I'll take a look. She feels his pulse and then says, he's suffered severe brain disease. Yeah, comatose. She says good a doctor as Sean Connery was

in Guardians of the Island. Well, like Guardian of the Highlands. There's just one Guardian. Well, you're right. Maybe she studied under him, like Lorraine Brocco and medicine man. And so she took his philosophy of, I'm gonna stand next to people and talk about how bad it

could possibly be and hope that that shocks them into getting better. He fortunately though, has a magic rock in his hand and that heals him, I guess. He gets up and walks away on his own. Although maybe he's a ghost based on the later things that happen to movie. Could be. Yeah, a magic wind blows by like the wind in the willows or something. Cut to his hallway at home where his, oh, well, he gets up when we see his butt through his hospital

gown. Yeah, so to change the nudity you see in the movie is his fight all the tease. Is his hospital gown open in the back? Because like Tommy like Tommy was though low-budget otters believe they have the greatest hinders in the universe and you've got to see him. I mean when a guy spends this much time in his body he got he should show it off it's a waste you don't you don't want to cover up that treasure. He's a little bit like a guy who he's just a normal guy who doesn't really take great care of himself for jogs every now and then and someone once said to him Hey, if you squint a little you look kind of like David to company There's like I should be a movie style like if you squint a little you look like

Bob Shea from New Lines If you you know if I don't if I look like a little bit you could be you know the lead singer from rush like He's kind of a he's kind of a he's he's kind of an Alan Rickman without the dangerous like sexiness that Alan Rickman brings like more puffiness except he's got a very sharp cheekbones yeah and his eyes glow with an inner animation that gets more and more as the movie is on anyway cut to his hallway at home where his hospital down in his bloody bandages are just littered the floor and he's in the shower which movie this time. Anyway, cut to his hallway at home where his hospital gown and his bloody

bandages are just littered the floor and he's in the shower, which implies that he walked home in his hospital gown. Like nobody stopped him. His wife is like, oh, you're home and they embrace the shower. And they slow down. They just kind of slow down. Wally wears that like half mask bandage thing. Yeah, still as the bandage on his face. He's otherwise naked. She is in a shift that's becoming see through with the water with bloody pink water. And they just kind of hold each other and turn slightly from side to side. And that begins another theme in the movie, which is the romantic, the lead actor is romantic

interest in the movie, not wanting to touch him very much. Yeah. And kind of keep their distance in the loves. That's another similarity between him and Tom and Zoe. I think it's pretty clear that the romantic leads do not want to get in pulp with him. No. Well, they're sexually intimidated. Now, you're going to have to help me.

I believe that then cut to the scene where the neighbor, their best friends, their neighbor is having a drunken argument with his wife who does not care for wearing bras. She likes to wear loose halter tops that she can just kind of, you know, bounce around. She lounges around talking about how bad her job is at the bank and the office at the bank.

Oh, I just got that relationship now. He complains that they haven't had sex in a long time. Their daughter over, his daughter, her stepdaughter over, hears this and she is just despondent over it. Cut to, again, now there's so many cuts. Here's where I'm not sure where the order of things happens. Now we find out that the reason we look at This movie, for a movie that's ostensibly about secret government secrets and ghosts doing powerful things.

Like most of it is interpersonal relationships and people hitting on the main character. It kind of feels like there's a guy who saw Donnie Darko. And he also saw like a John Casavetti's film, Marathon, and he's like, why can't I do it all? Why can't I have some kind of supernatural conspiracy thriller and also, you know, what, throw in these real relationships are like that. And sometimes it also feels like a David Lynch movie,

the way that like there's something CD and creepy going on, but it's mostly like soap opera stuff, but it's not intentionally that, I don't think. Yeah, I mean, it feels like he directly lifts Angelo Badalamentes to in Big Score for most of these singles. Well, crossed with like weird like Irish flute music from Titanic.

There's a lot of notes in Irish flute. That's true. And also that he does has dream sequences raising like an oozy black room. That's never really explained. Which like we were talking about, there's something about incredibly an apt filmmaking that can be inadvertently super creepy

because nobody acts like humans at that point. Yeah. They all act like weird mannequins or reptile people that are wearing the skin of humans. It feels like weaves dropped on a suburb where everyone's an undercover alien, but they're all from different alien species So none of them know how humanity operates, but they don't want to blow their cover even to each other. Yeah So here I'm just gonna talk about what happens in the movie in a general sense

They don't remember the order so a lot of the next like half hour of the movie roughly seems to take place in his weird office Which is we only see the corner of, and it's just a desk covered in four or five of the same book, and five open laptops that are never turned on. They never turned on all the same Sony laptops. But he types on them and he breaks them and then he uses them again later. They're great laptops. They're so durable. You don't even have to be turned on and you can do some hats.

You don't even have to type normally. You can just bang at them randomly. We learned he's a computer scientist who somehow became a best-selling novelist. He's tired of writing novels. He's hacked into government and corporate. It's a thing when he's realized that he has no more worlds to conquer at the novel game. Yeah, he becomes a super hacker. He mentions these hacked into the secrets to his wife. Then he mentions it to her again And she's shocked by it the second time then and she says oh, you're in trouble

Then we forget about that plot for a long time as we get involved with the wife's addiction to the husband's pills That that this This his psychoanalyst has been prescribed. Yeah There's some kind of paint addictive pain pills that is psychoanalysts presbes. We get into that, we get into the alcohol problem of the neighborhood. It's psychoanalyst who meets him in like a conference room. It walks up a stairway in a mansion and ends up in a conference room. It's a weird mansion though, because if you look down the hall, there's clearly like an exit sign. So maybe it's not a mansion.

So I feel like it's like a massage parlor. It certainly doesn't look like an office building. No, it's not a match. So I feel like it's like a massage parlor. It certainly doesn't look like an office. It was on an office. Like it could be a hotel or a spa, maybe. Yeah. And he goes, the sign on the second-hand store says, sweet 1111, doctor so and so. And it's like, you couldn't even think of an interesting number

for the room. It's just one after it's just one. But also he does his therapy. There's a long conference table. There's like eight chairs in between them. And they each sit on the opposite end to the table, like that scene in Citizen Kane that's supposed to indicate how far Kane and his wife have gone to draw. It's like if in network Peter Finch was going to his therapist when he went to see Ned Beatty and Ned Beatty yelled at him about the order of the universe. That's what this room is set up.

Maybe it's a new radical form of therapy where you pretend you're at a meeting, but the distance you sit from each other represents is a physical representation of the emotional distance between the two. Sure, or like each chair is filled with one of the monkeys that's on your back. Yes, coming to the room. Now let's populate this room with all the people you have issues with in your life. We're going to have a meeting right here.

I call it terrible therapy. So the doctor's really pushing these pills. I think because the wife is asking him too, so she can get to them. That's never really clear, not. He says no more pills and throws him in the toilet, but she pulls him out again. Yeah, she scoops him out. They have they have some conversations that are like eight conversations condensed into one conversation.

They keep going back and forth about like how she can't take it anymore and then they they reconcile and then she can't take it anymore in the they were they were they reckon style and then she can't take it anymore and his desk but he all that's hilarious he starts throwing his computers on the floor and then his papers super slowly like it's not like he like sweeps everything off his desk and it doesn't fit a passion at a time and she thinks yeah never breaking eye contact with her he sweeps the shit off his desk and the bill or He's like the killer. It's like that scene.

And he's sweeping laptops off his computer. Like he's breaking his things. It reminded me more of that scene in dirty Ron scoundrels where Steve Martin is playing Ruprecht, and he's like upset, and he slowly drops one thing after the other, after off the mantle. But then, once he's done clearing the desk, well I guess he's still the zebras,

they start tearing at each other's shirts as if they're trying to take them off, but they're just kind of ripping them. And that's when the when it's like, playful monkeys. Well, it certainly feels like she didn't realize that this was going to be a love scene. She thought at first she thinks it's a scene where he's trying to attack her and she's just fighting back and then she's like, oh no no way Okay, this is your idea of making love because you're weirdo So we're going to do these super awkward kisses because she couldn't handle the raw masculinity that Neil Brin is bringing to the scene

They're like that kissing like both on the like the side of their mouths of ramming them together Maybe it's a situation where like the time Jackie Chan had a love interest in a movie and all these women killed themselves Maybe Neil Brin wantedanda spare the rest of the... Except he has three to four love interests in this movie. That's true, but all those kisses seem very forced. They are... They couldn't think there's actual passion there. They are. The kisses are done with all the realistic passion of a reluctant first-time lesbian porn actress.

Who is not interested in being in this lesbian scene, but you got to pay the bills. So she's going to kiss the charts on the ground. You better do something with it. That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard. That that tarp doesn't get picked back up until it's been part of it. What are you going to do? Rake some leaves onto it. No. It's on the ground. We can't put it over a pool. So you better make some use of it. So let's make sweet love. The daughter from next door comes over.

So there's a big barbecue. Oh, and it is big. It's so big. It's so big that several shots are repeated as if the director doesn't think that we'll notice that they just did the same shot over again. We don't even have a beach umbrella with a sponsor company name on it set up at the head of the stairs of the pool, which it makes no sense when you'd have an umbrella. Every scene of the party has like six people in it, but the background sound effect sounds

like Final Fantasy VII where Cloud is at like a fucking bar or something. Or like the sound effects from The Beatles, you know my name, look up the number, like the party center. He wants you to think there's at least, well, more than five people at the party. Yeah. When it doesn't make sense, well, I mean, I don't even know why he wants you to think that. Like, what is it tempting? Oh boy. So the party scene, that's when the movie starts getting interesting. Yeah. Relaxing in a year.

So the drunk neighbor hits on the wife. She doesn't want anything to do with it and to show how drunk he is. She goes, you're drunk. He's like, no, I'm not. And then he knocks over a plate full of corn. This is after the wife has taken the main characters. Whole ear of corn from his plate. So the stealing of corn is really a big issue.

It's one of those great shots where normally the director would be like, that was super awkward. Let's do it again, but instead he's like, no, let's just keep it. It's weird the way she takes an entire ear of corn off my plate and I awkwardly adjust it. So all the chicken doesn't fly off.

Also like when the drunk eye knocks, the plate of corn over, you don't see his face. It's like a shot from the neck down from an angle point down. It's dream close up, like the rest of this movie. Of the corn. And then he knocks it over and knocks another thing over. And then he just waves his hands around. Like, a little shimmy, like he's dancing.

Like, he was supposed to have more of a drunk, like bedlam scene, but only had two plates to knock over. So he's kind of waving his hands up. He don't notice he's not knocking anything up. They only had two plates and he had to stay in frame the whole time. So like, be drunk within a very specific set of confines. But more importantly, the neurologist that saw him in the hospital shows up. The one who he wasn't her patient, but she would see him anyway? Yes, and I think we find out why. She's wearing the bracelet that the girl... She killed Leah and took the bracelet?

No, that is not the inference you're supposed to have. She is Leah. But she looks so much younger than our lead. Well, and here's that, this is, okay, so this is my theory about that. In addition to being, she was a neurologist on the International Space Station. She's had some time in space, maybe a flying light speed. Because of the

law's relativity, she is aged at a slower rate than her hero, who is clearly 15 to 20 years older than her. I would think it might be exposure to the magical energies of the black rock that he holds in his hand. It's aged him somehow. Yeah, absorbing his life energies. I see. It's like a L. Rick's sword. Stormbringer. Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly like that. Where she found the bracelet of life, which gives her eternal youth. Yeah. Like the weird gem bracelet, she wears. Yeah. Yeah. So he realized this. And with all the grams, maybe I don't know,

does she have, I'm assuming she has a bracelet. She missed a ton of bracelets. It's the 80s. Everyone was wearing bracelets. But the missed ones are better. That's, that's what't know. Does she have I'm assuming she has a bracelet? She missed a ton of bracelets. It's the 80s everyone was wearing bracelets. The misfits. The songs are better. That's that's what I know. Yeah, especially when Danzig was still with them. Yeah. I never understood why Gemini holograms, the cartoon would pick a name for their villain band that is a real band's name.

It's not like the misfits named themselves after the Gemini holograms band. Been around since like 79. I don't know. I don't know. It's like she let's get the I'm just gonna say the creator of the holograms. I'm disappointed in your lack of knowledge about the horror punk genre. Yeah, why don't you pick a brand new name that nobody's used like the river bottom nightmare band. Nobody's ever used that. Or spin doctors.

Oh yeah, yeah. If you want to be, you know, super great. So the tea rick that recognizes her and immediately is so happy and is holding hands with her constantly throughout the party right in front of his wife. Oh, there's a great part where he's holding her hand and it cuts to the wife noticing and then it cuts back to their hands Pulling away from each other real fast, but the timing is just bad enough that everything is super unnatural Yeah, so he has found her

They will eventually go frollicking in the woods and have another one of these weird love-making things where a shirt falls on the ground while his wife Well, I'm getting ahead of myself because his wife dies of a pain killer overdose, knocking over a glass of water on the bed. Yeah, which we're supposed to read, I guess, as white wine, but it is clearly just water. But this is only after. So his best friend is always tooling around on his Ferrari, by which I mean, polishing the mirrors that's all he knows how to do with this car.

His wife comes in and they argue, then the wife leaves and then comes back with a gun. She says, I'm going to shoot holes all through that car, but then shoots her husband. The daughter runs in and sees that she did it and the mother is like, don't go in there. Don't go in. You didn't see anything. Don't go in there. You didn't see anything. And then the daughter goes, you killed him, really calmly.

And she says, you didn't see anything. And then the daughter goes, Dad, really calmly and she says you didn't see anything and then the daughter goes dad Dad and is running towards him and it's like did you reverse the order of those Shots when you were editing because she seems to get she goes from calm to super. Yeah, Elliot Have you ever been in that fucking situation dude? That is a good point. I cannot judge step mom shoots your dad while your dad was I guess massaging his Ferrari Testerosa. You know what, I don't, I have a stepmom, but my dad does never Ferrari, so I don't think I'll ever be.

And then the mom lays the gun down near the dead husband. I dropped the gun. I dropped the gun. I'm like, without wiping it for Prince or anything. Or putting the gun in his hand or anything like that. And says, oh, come in and suicide.

She already burned her fingerprints off in the accident years ago. And other than the daughter telling our hero, oh, my mom killed him. It wasn't a suicide. This is not revisited at all. There's no resolution. Never, never again. Oh, I should mention about the daughter. We forgot to mention that she appears one of the many almost topless scenes when she

just shows up at their pool after the barbecue and is just standing at the top of the pool stairs with like kind of knee deep in the water just thrups flashing water at nothing. Then she takes her top off and comes back. We see it from the back and calls for Dylan the hero and he goes, oh no, you can't do this, stop it. And then she takes. And she puts her top immediately back on. Put your top on it and then goes to take a bubble bath.

I mean, he's a grown handsome man. There's no way this teenage girl could handle that. No, no. That's why he says no to her because she's not ready. He would destroy her. She wouldn't be able to walk for a month. Nor would she ever be satisfied with another man. No, she never finds that sort of joy. I don't think that's the moral of what happened.

It's one of the... it's like the movie that the guy mentions to Woody Allen in Manhattan of where the woman is so satisfied by her orgasm that she dies instantly. That's what would have happened. Okay. Anyway, the, he says no, no, she tries to take a bubble bath classic poise nivy new seduction move He's not falling for it and his wife and then he's cut to he's on the couch with his laptop working Life's like oh was Ali here. It's like I can't talk. I'm too busy working You know what? Slaps, you know what she did she was swimming in the pool Topless and then she tried to take a bath and and the wife goes, I'll call my friend,

and the neighbor gets on the phone and goes, thank you for telling me about that. She shouldn't do that. I'll talk to her about it. Cut to the daughter in her room ground and crying. But also, our hero said, I told her that she couldn't come back here again without permission.

Without calling first. It's like, I don't understand how that would have changed the situation. calling first. It's like what I don't understand how that would have changed the situation. The this is after we've had a or before the scene, I don't remember where he's arguing with his wife and he's on the laptop and she's like I'm having a hard time at work and he's like I'm busy and then cut to her talking, cut back to him the laptop's gone and he's cross-legged on the couch with bare feet just kind of wrapping with her, you know? Like a like girlfriends. There's anyway, so he reconnects with his...

You're doing a great job by the way. Yeah, this is a hard movie. This is a tough one. Like I've forgotten. This movie is a real clip. You've forgotten more about this movie than you were remember. There's, they took a bunch of scenes,

put them in a sack, and just shook it up, and just emptied that onto some fill. So many shots will have a character, like a close-up of a character saying something super weird, and then it will immediately cut to a close-up of that character wearing different clothes, doing something different. You're like, how much time passed?

I don't know what's going on, is this the same scene? There's a scene where they have dinner with their friends. Oh, it's yet all shot in one shot. It's all one shots. And they don't think it's dinner, because at no point do we see food. It's, she says I'll go get the food now. But the, yeah, but yeah, that's the cheapest way

to get around a fake dinner. But they are having so many different conversations with each other. And there's the, they, each line is completely unrelated to the net. That teenage daughter wants to talk about her fucking stupid elephants class project about she's almost done with school. They're doing a great project about elephants. It's

like, are you an elementary school? Like, this the whole anyway. So let's give a head to he's reconnected with his his childhood girlfriend, Leah, who they go out to the forest to find their magic mushroom place again, and they find it. And it turns into a box with some strings or tassels or something. His wife kills herself with pills, while he's... Then they do.

Well, they're making love. Well, he's out. Their shirts hit the floor again with a thump. Well, yeah, he's out padding. He's got a move, dude. Padding her face with his lips as if checking it for license some way. You know, it's like her face is a minefield. Well, I can't tell you. And he's worried that if he kisses too hard,

she's gonna explode. Sure. For her, it's almost she's worried that if she touches too much of his face, she'll be reduced to senders and ashes from sheer heat of his passion. be reduced to cinders and ashes from sheer heat of his passion. And he pushes her shirt down in a weird way. And then it falls to the... Anyway, there's shirts over his shoulder. Just over the shoulders for a little while. And you're like, do they think that we can't see the top of her shirt

peaking out of the bottom of the frame? Do we supposed to think that she's nude? I don't understand. And instead of thinking she's nude, they're going to have sex. What you think is, or they're in love. Well, you think is before this shot, they negotiated how far he could pull her shirt down. And the great thing about it is right after that, it'll immediately cut over to a shot of him with his shirt, pull most of the way down.

So the girls in the audience have to watch. No, yes, I'm here for the ladies. I want to reiterate. There's a Han Solo for the crowd. I want to reiterate that we may seem super pervy for focusing on this so much, but the movie drove us to it. There is. The movie is constantly.

It was kind of like it was trolling us. It was like the movie was flying a few. It was like, let's see how close we can get to having someone be naked without a being naked. The only way this movie could be more entrapment is if Catherine Zeta Jones slid under some lasers. With a pair of pants on. Yeah, with leather pants on.

With a pair of pants on. Because if she did it in like a skirt, that's not entrapment. No, that's not the same movie. So, okay, so. So, this is around the time we get back to the storyline of the secret government and corporate secrets that he hacked into. He has a lot of loud arguments with, I guess, his publisher on the phone about how they're not respecting him and they keep asking for deadlines. And he throws around the same three copies of his book in the same way that he throws

around his laptops. He has three laptops and four copies of his book and he's just always throwing him or tapping them on things. Anyway, there's definitely a scene where he accidentally throws the, he throws the book at his laptop, but it flips over to reveal the spine. And you know that wasn't in the, like, the plan because it doesn't say his name on it. The, this, I, sometime before this, what about the scene where he passes out and spills coffee on his face? And then he starts making a face like he loves it and he can't get enough He's having headaches because of course he would he was hit by a car sure and yet he's like

And he he's got coffee precariously placed in the keyboard his laptop and he knocks it over and he like he he falls It's like his head falls on the paper and then he knocks the coffee No, well he has head falls down and then he's like regaining consciousness and he sees his coffee and he's like Oh, that's what I want coffee and he tries to drink it and it tips it all over his face. I mean just spills over everything But yeah, it's instead of being like ah hot coffee on my face is look is like He's like my skin is absorbing expression's caffeine. I love it. I needed one of my pen to facial caffeine baths That's what makes me feel better He's also begun seeing another therapist by this point a woman who sits on folding chairs so close to him Their knees are interlaced You would it's supposed to be different than his other psychotherapist who's all about medication

She's all about being magic And that she fades away at the end of it as if she was a ghost or alien or whatever Mm-hmm, but she tells him he has a special power the things he's learned are very important. He's up to him It's all super vague. It's like if Yoda never really explained anything to Luke and never taught him how to do flips and balance rocks and Just died and disappeared at the end, but it was all vague mumbo jumbo. That's what this character is like explained anything to Luke and never taught him how to do flips and balance rocks and just died and disappeared at the end, but it was all vague mumbo jumbo. That's what this character is like. Okay. And they exactly like Yoda says Ellie. The this woman's performance is just like Frank Oz, but they I guess I didn't even see

that it that he must say like I'm going to show how far apart he is from this other therapist by having them sit on obstinates of a room. I'm gonna show how in tune these people are by having them sit with their crotches almost touching. Yeah, it's the closest to a smart director of all the show he's made. It's so, I was thinking about this earlier today that like, you read kind of readings of films and you're like,

by showing him from below, they emphasize how powerful he is as he looms over and you're like, yeah, that's kind of obvious. I don't know if you needed to state that in words, but it just shows you how like symbology in a movie can be either simple and strong and simple and incredibly stupid. In this case, it's incredibly stupid. Look, I'm no semi-attition, okay? This is just how it gets me. Anyway, so he's decides to reveal these government secrets.

There's a ghost that's floating around every now and then. There's a dream sequence where a weird ghost, or a transparent man walks into the house and then blood falls on the floor and then he fades away. I don't know what that's all about. We've seen this character a couple times where he's just a pair of black shoes and black pants who fades away and dissolves. I don't know what in the mirror is. I mean, pictures shake a way. I've seen this character a couple times where he's just a pair of black shoes and black pants who fades away and dissolves. I don't know what the mirror is. And pictures shake a bunch. A mirror that's shaking. There's a bunch of scenes where the director, star, writer,

producer is nude in that black room. Yeah, and that's the most like twin pixie part. And he's hugging a nude woman whose hair is covering her face and seems pretty clear that that woman represents Leia, the girl he's reconnected with, but that Leah did not want to do a nude scene. And so he hired someone else like Edward Bel Legosi plan nine style hired someone else and then covered their face with something. That's my guess. Anyway, he's, he even though he's just lying. Like Scott McCloud always says. He expects that the audience is going to be able to fill in the blanks between the two shots.

Yeah, that's just filling in the gutters. His wife died, he comes home, and he has two great grappling with someone's death scenes. One of his friends, where he's holding his friends bloody head, and he wipes the blood on his face for no reason, and he's like, I'm not going to be able to help you out of this one. It's like, yeah, dude, it's dead. And then he's gonna make a deal with the like, he's gonna like, Daniel Webster Satan about this. And he knows, he cradles his dead wife's body

and he just was saying like, what, it was you, it was you or something like that. And then the music swells and he seems to be saying something but they cut the audio track now. He's like, well, one point is clearly yelling no, no. Darth Vader, episode three style. I want to talk a little bit about how this movie makes a lot of weird cuts to people's close-ups of Facebook they're talking.

And in a lot of those cuts, they don't try and match up the background sounds that well. So in some shots, you'll be like, oh wow, they turned the air conditioning on for this shot, but then a second later, you're like, oh, they turned it off. It must have gotten too chilly in that room. It's kind of like any room tone. It's like the opposite of the movie Hustle and Flow where they make a big deal about like turning off the fan before they record their rap songs.

In this case, they turned nothing off. And you can't, like, it's like they bring in a couple extra refrigerators to have running in the background. So much, it's like, this movie feels like someone who wants to be David Lynch and is really bad at it at times. It also feels like someone who wants to be making

and of the enemy of the state in this bad at it. But like, when you look at David Lynch, it's really... I would love to see David Lynch make an enemy of this state. When you look at David Lynch's movies would love to see David Lynch make an amazing When you when you look at David Lynch's movies like his sound design is so important Yeah, so much of the power of a racer head is in the sounds that you're hearing and how consistent and how you know Just like overwhelming they are and this is the exact opposite of that where he was like sound Yeah, we're recording the dialogue move it along people

We'll cover up all that other stuff with this Irish flute music he was like, sound. Yeah, we're recording the dialogue. Move it along, people. We'll cover up all that other stuff with this Irish flute music. So his wife is dead, he's taken up with Lee, as she's already sleeping in his bed, face down, so you can see the side of her boobs, but not the front. There's a scene where the whores neighbor gets killed.

There's a scene where his neighbor wakes up in bed with his wife and they are awkwardly not talking to each other. But they're both asleep, lying face down with their arms up on the pillow with the same pose. As like, well, they're getting couples massages. Yeah. Like, there's a very couple slept in the exact same pose. I feel like it was the director being like,

all right, you be in this position so we can see most of your room, but not all of it. And I guess you be in the same position so it's not obvious what you're doing. You be in the same position. So it's not obvious what you're doing. You be in the same position because I don't want to show the audience that you have a better pecs than I do. Now, when I want to get back to how there's a ghost in this movie, when I say ghost, I mean, kind of an animated plastic bag that floats through the air that's supposed to unseems well. Ghost is nothing but a memory of it.

is nothing but a memory, Elliot. Yeah. The, there's just ghost, this thing just pops up and pops out and doesn't signify very much. It shakes a mirror at one point. And that gives him the inspiration to finally reveal these secrets. He sneaks out of bed so it's not totally up to Leah. It may be the funniest shot in the movie

where it looks like he is escaping a one night stand or something like that. It's he got he goes to the desert. He drew. Oh, she's been kidnapped too. Did I forget to mention that at one point? She's been she's kidnapped. I got to that even happened. She is chloroformed and kidnapped and taken to a van at a storage locker place. She's not even in one of the storage lockers.

Luckily during her struggle, she knocks loose a business card from her assailant's pocket That has the wear the add the directions that we're taking her to this place Which makes me realize that the assailant probably spent a lot of time on the phone with the guy who hired him He like I lost the card tell me where I was supposed to take her again. I can't put an address into map quest I don't have no use map quest but the so the hero Dylan shows up and he sees her bag on the ground And he calls her and leaves the long message on her voice while it's like where are you? I'm worried. I see your bag. It's lying on the walk to the house. I looked in the house You're not in the house. Where are you? Why is your bag on the walkway from the front of the house to the rear of the house?

And then he see and it's only after he leaves this long message that he looks three millimeters over and sees the card that says, take her to da da da da da da. A immediate cut to a shot that's night for day or day for night. He goes and what does he like? Kill a guy there? He has magic powers now. He helps her escape with his ability to walk through doors.

And what he runs up and hits again in the head with a bottle, right? That's right. He hits him with a bottle. And then he goes, but then he teleports to the other side. Some street justice. He teleports her out of like a fucking trailer. Trailer. It would not have been hard to get her out of that trailer without using his magic walk through

wall's powers. It's locked. He does not get in there. Yeah. And he has the black rock. If you have the black rock, you use it. That's right. He's got that black rock. The chips in one. Later on, it's a flash drive or something.

Anyway, so he skipping ahead a little bit. He goes out of the desert. He talks to some ghosts and a magic book and they tell him nothing. So he decides he's going to reveal these secrets. Cut to- Be faithful findings, if you will. To go into phrase. He cut to his standing in front of the worst green screen of the

Supreme Court you have ever seen, ever in front with a microfluid stand. You guys, you guys both work for the Daily Show and use a lot of green screen and shit. I don't work for the Daily Show, but you have worked for the Daily Show. It's super true. And the, and the Daily Show backdrops are so much more believable than this bullshit fake one. Because we put just the most minimum effort into it. And so he's a comedy show.

He announces, well, this is, this movie's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Like this is the funniest comedy I've seen in a long time. I think Dan used to, the funniest comedy movie in years. But he is announcing his findings in the most vague way possible. All the secrets, governments have committed secrets. There's been hypocrisy and crime and corruption. All these companies, we've got to hold them to justice.

The justice system has failed. We've cut to a lot of shots of cameras set up to watch him with crowd noise laid over it. Yeah, but no visible people. So it seems like the microphones are making all these noises. Yeah, they're cheering and clapping. And one point he goes,

I have all the documents and you hear applause. And he says, I have the documents here. And he holds up that black stone. And I'm gonna release them. So he seems like a crazy person. But you cut to... Yeah, you cut to reaction shots of, I guess, like... There's a bunch of people.

Well, we don't even know that. There's just a bunch of people in suits for nodding and they've looked on their face like, yeah, this guy knows what he's talking about. But unless I'm wrong, it's the same backdrop. Yes, it's the same... So who's the reverse shot? Is the same as the front shot. He is he is

clearly standing in some place where two alternate dimension Supreme Court buildings stared each other across some of the whole post and kind. Someone's opened up a viewing screen between alternate scotuses and they now this cuts to okay this is my new favorite part of the movie. I've so many favorite parts of this movie where each of the people that we've seen nodding reveals that they work at their either senators or they're the head of a corporation or they work at the bank or this one. That's literally what they say. I work at the bank.

I'm resigning as president of the bank. And then one guy literally says, I and other insurance companies have been cheating people. So you're an insurance company, I guess. Each of them admits they're wrongdoing and then kills themselves. Two of them, two separate of them, just pull out a gun and shoot themself on this Supreme Court steps.

And you think that some... You're like, oh here, let's, let's broom, sweep them off there. Okay, next person, come on up. I've been rushing and stuff them. And you know the second guy was like, I was gonna shoot myself. Now we look like a copycat. You cut to the rest of them, one guy hangs himself, one slashes his wrists in a hilarious scene. One guy, he, one guy was slashes his wrists is the only one they actually show getting zipped up in a body bag.

And so that's because he was fighting a guy from Copacai. Oh, okay. And he literally put him in a body bag. Oh, that's, wait, is that going to get him disqualified? I think so, yeah. One guy takes pills in his car and then smiles as if dreaming the sleep of, sleeping and having the dream of very manial. So, he, his head slowly falls to the stream.

We all, it is like, if it, it's like in in the godfather the baptism slash massacre scene if that was so super crappy like that's the way this is done it's so funny anyway that having been accomplished that was hilarious we were fucking cracking laughing so hard that being accomplished he and Leah returned to the woods and remember their childhood selves and that's it everyone's saved. Evil has been wiped out of the world a bunch of innocent people died. I'm gonna say like walk to Valhalla or something. Yeah, they crossed the rainbow bridge. Yeah, Boramir was, no, Boramir is not as guardian.

I mean Boramir shouldn't be in fucking Valhalla, duty killed all those orcs. But he admitted is wrongdoing. I just want to say this episode of La Paz has had the fewest tangents I think of Annie because this movie, which you're trying to wrap our brains around it. Like we should have watched this movie at Christmas. Or any other gift-giving holidays because like I cannot advise you enough to turn off this podcast right now and go watch this movie. Yeah I think I think we need to go straight to final judgments. Good good good movie. Good bad movie, bad bad movie

movie. Kind of like I say that this is yeah move over the room and verdict and like I like this is a good bad movie. I was while I was watching and I'm just like I was all I was thinking about was like the people I want to introduce this movie too. Yeah I can't wait to show this movie to my parents Like my parents who will have no understanding of what they're watching It is the the goodest bad movie. I think maybe I've ever seen like it's there were I can't even like I feel like we've we've gone through the whole movie we barely scratched the surface of how it's like I've never thought I'd say to someone in describing a movie

It's like the room if Tommy was oh was bad at making movies like that's what it feels like to me Like it lacks the polish of Burdemy watching this movie was like that moment when baby housemen gets picked up by Johnny Castle at the end of dirty dancing and And she's flying for but a moment and she thinks maybe in her head maybe I'll fly off into outer space. I think you're reading a lot into that movie. Well I was thinking about, like while I was watching this movie

I was thinking about like what makes the difference between a bad, bad movie and a good, bad movie. And the thing about a truly like great, good, bad movie is if a movie is really bad, you have no idea what's gonna happen next. Yeah, that's true. Like a mediocre movie, no idea what's going to happen next. Yeah, that's true. Like a mediocre movie, you always know what's going to happen next. Here, you're just like, this is done by a mad man.

Only on a true legal rate movie or a truly bad movie, are you constantly surprised? There's such a thing on the two sides of the same coin, really. There's... If you had told me halfway through that the movie was going to end with him on the steps of this Supreme Court building and monitoring the government and big business and then I montage of them killing themselves. Many of them with smiles on their face as they greet the grim reaper. I wouldn't believe you.

It's like the only way to explain it is if he literally was trying, he's like one of those guys who makes new languages in his spare time and he's like, I'm going to invent new way of making films. And maybe I'm going to have to group in the dark for a time as I re-invent the primitive history of filmmaking to create a news type of storytelling grammar. But I think, you know what, I'll do it how long it takes, and this was his first try. Like, oh, boy. Man, you like, it really,

I feel like we've said this about other movies, but it feels like a guy who had a movie described to him. And was like, yeah, okay, I'm gonna make that. And then just try to do it. Oh, Neil Brain, like you're my hero now. Ha ha ha. So let's talk about this. What do you get yourself into? What is this podcast about? Well, we have dog news, dog experts, and interviews with special guests about their dogs. We also talk about dogs that we met this week. Join us every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org for new episodes of Can I Pat Your Dog? I want to say that tonight the flop house is brought to you by Squarespace,

I want to say that tonight the flop house is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform. Squarespace's sites look professionally designed, regardless of your skill level, with no coding required. Now Dan, can I ask you a question about, okay now as we've established previous episodes and trying to get some websites off the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't had the chance to use Squarespace yet, and I'm having trouble with other companies trying to get my My Christopher Lee fan site penguin farts.com That's a weird name I'm having trouble at that project. I'm setting this side. Instead. I've got a new I've got a new website It's called monkey penis.com. Oh, yeah an exploration of the work of Guida Mopasant.

Oh wow. And the necklace, I think you're right. Sure, yeah. Anyway, what I really like about most is that his name is Guy, where it's pronounced geek, like a karate geek. Yep, it's the out of the karate guy lawyer that's used in Indian food. Sure, I don't know.

Anyway, so it's square space to place. I want to, I need a simple all-in space to place. I want to I need a simple all-in-one solution. I want my website to look the same on Do you want and laptops and iPads without me having to recode it and you're just telling me the other day you really want responsive design. Incredibly responsive design. I want to be as responsive as a as a lover. It knows every inch of your body almost better than you know. Well, you're in luck because that is Squarespace. And you can start your free trial today with no credit card required at Squarespace.com.

That's another thing I wanted to ask you. My credit card's were taken away from me. Okay, well, I mean, eventually you're gonna be in trouble. I mean, at some point you're gonna need to have to pay for this. But I know, but I want to start it up without a credit card. Can I do that? You can. Because as I said, what happened was I went to a snooty restaurant. Okay.

And when I went to pay, I must have overdrawn on my account because they literally cut up the card in front of me to scissors. Yep. What was crazy was that they were charging so much and there were like three sprouts on that plate. Yep. And it was the evening of force Friday where Elliott spent all his fun bucks on Star Wars dudes.

We had to buy every one of the Lego Star Wars sets or some shit. Take it easy. All that some people have in their lives. Anyway, so calm down. Sorry, I read an article about Force Friday that got me really mad. So Dan, Squarespace can help me with that. I can get it easy and see if it's the right thing for me. It sounds like it's really great.

Is there some kind of code that I could use for discounts? Indeed, you can use the offer code flop that's F-L-O-P to get 10% off your first purchase. Now, I want to start a website that's a tribute to Neil Brie and writer-director-producer of Faith of Planning. That's called almosttopeless.com. You think Squarespace is a place I could do that.

You can do that easily with Squarespace. Responsive design. Yep. And I don't need to know coding. No. You don't need a credit card. Well, how's their tech support? It's excellent. And you can use the offer code flop to get 10% off your first purchase. But I don't need a credit card, right? No.

Squarespace. And I've paid by money order. You can. I don't know if that's true. I'm just making stuff up. That's a... I'm trying to get you to shut up. I'm trying to get you to shut up.

So Squarespace.com offer code flop. I'm trying to get you to shut up. I'm trying to get you to shut up.'m just trying to get you to shut up. I'm trying to get you to shut up. So Squarespace.com offer code flop. Yeah, build it beautiful. But moving on. No, you should say like it's build it beautiful. Build it, build it. Like you're detective.

So we should move on to letters from... Guys, I just want to say this has been great so far. Oh, thanks. I think Dan That's what I would have said to Elizabeth Warren Robling The woman who was really responsible for making sure the Brooklyn Bridge happened she'd be like my husband He's he's stuck in bed now and he won't leave bed for years after his nervous collapse and the bends probably Mm-hmm, and I have to oversee this major construction project What should I do and I'd say build it beautiful?

Wow see this major construction project. What should I do? And I'd say build it beautiful. Okay. So Dan, what do we do now? We read letters from listeners in a little segment we call the Flawhouse Movie Mailbag. I mean we haven't called it that. We really call it that? Yeah, you can call whatever you want. Just don't call the label for dinner. Why would you call it later for dinner? It doesn't tell the audience what it is. This is some kind of cooking segment for people with busy schedules, I don't understand. Why are you so touchy about being late for dinner?

And look, the letters are very hungry. They're so hungry. Guys, wow. Hungry for a song? Hungry for souls. You mean songs, for a song. Hungry for souls. You mean songs, right? Yeah. Open that mail bag. Open it wide and dive inside.

There's letters inside. Hey, don't hide from the letters inside. There's letters inside the mail bag. Who are these letters for? Let's take a look. It's my neighbor's mail. Open it up. I'm a nosy guy.

Huh. They're in a rures. They're losing their house. This is sad news. And I wish I didn't know it. Glue that letter backshot. Slide it under their door. When the house goes up for auction, buy it up.

And then sell it for more. Flip in houses, that's where the money is. Flip in houses in today's market. Buy a house cheap, fix it on up. Sell it for more. The business runs itself. If you know how to fix a house. Clear letters.

Brought to you by property brothers in HDTV. That was one of the songs that sounded mostly a TV theme. I was gonna say that, but even before, I was gonna say they all seem to have the same tempo. Yeah. Da da da da da da da. So this letter goes, I'm a big fan of your show. My favorite flopper is Elliot. Thank you. I'm happy. I'm hesitant to say this, I'm a big fan of your show. My favorite flopper is Elliot.

Thank you. Yay. I'm hesitant to say this because I'm afraid we'll lead to this letter not being read because of Dan jealousy. If I say that I'm a wife and that I have a butt, will that win me over in the eyes of Purposeoid number one? I hope so. Anywho, I'm not sure about Dan Stewart, but I've heard Elliott say he's not a fan of I've heard Elliott say he's not a fan of Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Judd Apatow.

They're okay. I mean I'm not they don't float my personal boat. I feel that between those three people. It's on the waters of Lake Champlain. You get a majority of the comedies that are released in theaters today. What are some of your favorite comedies that have come out in recent years and what current comedians are your fans of? Thanks, Mallory Lasting with Hell. PS, thank you for continuously mentioning the film, Baby Secret of the Lost Legend. I completely forgot about that film and was glad to be reminded of the movie for my youth about a baby dinosaur. A lost legend. So found. Modern your local videos, modern comedies, other than faithful findings that we enjoyed.

Are there any? I mean, I like the trip movies. Yeah, I think that we've mentioned before that we all enjoyed the Edgar Wright. Yeah, the Coronado trilogy stuff. Sure. Those are good ones. I guess recently, like, I am into reference Judd Aputt, how I liked Trainwreck quite a bit. I still haven't seen that yet. And I like Spile a lot too. I've heard good stuff. I thought that was like the people

involved probably best work. Yeah, when I watched that movie, I sort of thought like at the beginning, I'm like, okay, well, this is not as good as it was advertised. Like, it felt very wrote and then as it went on. Yes, they. I, how many times have I done that joke now? Like, at least once before, um, but as it went on, I, I appreciate it. But Jason, stay the mix of face off joke. No, she's, she's terrific. I like to rose, uh, rose Bernie, Rose, Bernie.

Bernie, Bernie. I have to admit, yeah, Bernie starring Jack Black and Allison, and Allison Janney's in it. She's great. I have to admit that I don't see a lot of modern comedies these days, partly because I've had so many experiences of not enjoying them, and that keeps me from going to new ones, and I should break that habit. I should be willing to risk my time on a modern comedy. You just stick with old-timey comedies like Revenge

of the Nerds. Yeah, old-timey comedies like Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, old, yeah, old, sorry, the nerds and featuring Revenge. Also starring Camille Beans by Ove. I'm trying to think of there's like a recent comedy that I thought was really, really funny. I mean, what we do in the shadows was fucking great. But I haven't seen that yet. But you should, it's great. I wanna see it. My Tivo's full of check new wave films. I gotta watch those first.

That's not a comedy. There are some of them are very funny, just like TBS. Do you like me? Check new wave. So this letter goes like this. It says listen here. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do make this quick. Spokesman. I woke up on the day of my wedding and I was running late. I want to know how these sentences connect. My groom's man and I had to stop somewhere to get breakfast, but it was pouring rain. We entered up at Burger King. It was 10.30 a.m. and they were like, no, we don't have breakfast anymore. And you'll have to wait a million years before we were ready for lunch. So I dashed across the busy street to Popeye's.

Popeye's. I asked if they were serving breakfast still. They said, no, I said, okay, then I'll take the most breakfasty thing you have for lunch. So they made me a Cajun pool boy. I ate it quickly and then ran off to get married. During the entire ceremony, reception and night, my stomach was tumultuous. Cajun pool boy was begging to be released. My questions for you, Kaelin. One, how dare you. And two, what is Popeye stance on Cajun Poe Boys for breakfast? Alex's last name was held. Well, Alex, one, I had Popeye's on my wedding day two,

and it was delightful and sat in my stomach like a beautiful cat on a taffeta pillow. Did you eat that in the movie theater when we were watching Piranha 3D? It was stopped on the way back. It was after we went to Piranha 3D? No, it was apt on the way back. Is after we went to Piranha 3D, I think you were in the car down with my brother. Yeah, David was like, I know where there's a Popeye's in here or somehow you like search for one. You have like Monterey Jacks, you can have cheese.

He closed his eyes and flinted along with the scent. And so after that, before I got changed for the wedding into my suit, we sat outside his hotel room and ate Popeye's for lunch. Just one of many reasons that that was the best day of my life. Number one, the wedding. Number two, it was a great scene for honor 3D with my pals. Three Popeye's for lunch. Like, greatest day of my life. Let's, okay, let's get a few things straight. One, I just want to say I do not endorse anything at Popeye's other than the chicken I don't know any I don't order anything other than the chicken I don't care for their other stuff what about their nal and style red beans and rice well that I eat as a side dish every time yes uh-huh just to quiet your tumultuous stomach filled with chicken yeah I don't know what the deal is with your tender tummy that you couldn't handle that food, but also, dude, where are you getting married

that they were fast food restaurants and no bathrooms? Deal with it before the ceremony, guy, come on. Or at any point during the reception, step aside and use the toilet, it's your day. No one can tell you no. Yeah, maybe you didn't want to have to unlimber all of his wedding equipment that he was wearing. Yeah, yeah, undo his will Why not you know like it one of those proton packs that you wear

Yeah, some kind of steampunk A deathlock armor Yeah, so I your experience was not a good one. I take it try pop eyes again get the fried chicken Mm-hmm and deal with it and it's as a breakfast food fried chicken is great I mean I've eaten cold pop eyes fried chicken for breakfast many times I mean you mean you mean the lawfuls because you should just go up and order the Kalan special Which is a four-piece with rice and beans, with no drink. Red beans and rice on the side, no drink, biscuit, and then also.

Focusing as a man who is often picked up Popeyes for Ellie. It's on the way over to record this actually, it was funny, a guy stopped me on the stream so they're you Elliot Kalan and I was like, yeah, and he says a flyb house listener and I go, oh thanks, he goes, the other Popeyes, he, oh, thanks. He goes, the other Popeyes was a giveaway. I said, a bag of Popeyes in my hand. Here's the thing. When I was young, and they're like, goody, goody, look on your face where you're so excited. Yeah, I was looking at my chops and rubbing my hands together. Like a cartoon wolf staring at Red Hot Riding Hood. The, when I was a young man before there was a lady in my life,

I would frequently on weekends get a box of fried chicken on Friday night. That's my food for the weekend. So I'm having breakfast two days in a row, and it was fantastic. Am I alive today to tell the tale somehow? Yeah. So continue that malcontent has been disposed of.

Yeah. So this next slide is forever. Goes, help me be better at being dumped. I'll be one can I'll be. Dear flop house. I recently got dumped and I'm grateful to your podcast for helping me not act like an insane person. Whenever I want to call my ex-boyfriend, I instead make myself listen to a flop house episode. Soon I am laughing and don't care about my ex-boyfriend anymore because he was not as fun as you are. Especially Dan who is my favorite and Elliot who is my other favorite. Sorry, Stewards. It's okay, I'm the garbage one. Unfortunately. He's the ladies love cool Stewards.

She says, the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode was not up to standard in my opinion. I got distracted and ended up calling my ex-boyfriend who now thinks I am crazy. This is too much pressure to put on us. These help me be better at being dumped by having only having a plus plus plus episodes For example the Transformers episode or that's my boy episode. Thank you in advance Maggie last name with hell Maggie you're too good for that guy You kick him to the curb and forget about him because there's plenty of fish in the sea. I don't even know why you're listening to this episode You should be watching fateful findings. You watch fateful findings. You'll be laugh and so hard.

You'll be like boyfriend. Who doesn't exist? Boyfriend. What? I want to be with that Neil Breene. You all the ladies want to lightly peck. And you should only be dating boyfriends from the Boyfriend Academy. That's not funny. Shelley Long.

A.K.A. don't tell her it's me university. Yep. But she is the teacher. I always kind of viewed her as like a sensei type. I mean, that's another word for teacher. Like a sea sea. It literally means teacher. A teacher, huh?

I always thought of her as more of a professor. More of an adjunct professor. No, I'm an instructor sort of physician. Some sort of instruction provider. Well, we were able to help you, I guess. I assume we were. I don't know, this episode's super great, right? Do our best to try to be funny so that you laugh and don't think about them.

But hey, I hope by the time you listen to this episode, you're already awash on a sea of dudes. Mm-hmm. Gross. Are you gross? So last letter goes like this, dear radio zork, apply grease to door hinge, push open door, throw dynamite at grew, Matt last name with help.

Mmm. It's a lot of motions for one turn. I don't know if you can make that many. I think it kind of disqualifies it. You become unstuck in time because you're moving too fast. You are dead. You're a nice game master. A nice try.

But thanks for playing. You cheat a good game, boy. But now you zork. Thanks for playing the most popular radio adventure. Radio zork brought to you by Dan. And Elliott. What was it actually brought to you by delicious penises? Yeah, I forgot what it was. Ever got what old-timey vulgar product it was.

Greasy penises. Yeah. Is there any other kind? Yeah. That's, it's time for our general health corner, right? Every episode we have a new tip of our general health. And check your penis. Is it greasy?

Well, that's the thing Stewart has reminded me that always keep your penis penis well greased Yeah, if you don't have a penis grease someone else Oil Isn't the art your hip hinges? No, it's you penis asking for oil oil You want to get a smooth erection That thing up Super spiky. Yeah, I've got a crickets way up or gritty. Yeah. So the next step of this podcast and not talking about gross stuff.

That was super intense. It's talking about fun stuff. Movies we actually liked. Boying. Dan's gonna start. Oh, I am. All right. Uh, I was watching. That's fast. We just, we We just we just we just was Dakota top Kudagra I was watching a hang in mr. Kudagra I was watching a thing called television the other day and I was looking You more as living past the channels Which what the kids are doing story gets even better And I came across the second Well the last third actually of a little movie called Death Trap, which I watched several times

growing up because it was on HBO all the time. As you waited for what she nutted beyond. Yeah, but I like that movie quite a bit. It stars Michael Cain, Christopher Reeve, and Diane Cannon in the three major roles. There's about five major roles. It's like five roles in the whole movie, basically. And it's just a twisty, like it was based on a play by Iroh Levin, it's directed by Cindy

Lumet. He does not open up the play particularly. He just directs it well. And when you've got people like Michael Cain and Christopher Reeve and Diane Cain, they are able to play the thriller elements of the story, but they're also able to play the light comedy elements of it, because it is a silly movie at its heart. It's full of twists and turns that kind of take advantage of the thriller plotting while sort of also making fun of it at the same time. And it's a very enjoyable movie. It's about a failed writer of thriller plays who engages in a plot to try and get rid of his wife, and then many twists and turns come afterwards.

And so if you're looking for just a fun time, I recommend Death Drap. More than fateful findings? I mean, maybe equally in different ways. That sounds great. You know guys the other day, I popped on a movie on the the old digital video player am I the only one who's not gonna explain the circumstances in which he watched his Museum of the media I fired it up and boy did I have The time of my life now I cracked a couple of years

I Never felt that way before. I looked through every open door, and I watched Spike Lee's Inside Man. What I expected. Which is a great little thriller. It's got an amazing show stopping performance from my man.

Clive. Clive. Oh, it's Clive the Chive. Oh, Clive Owens. Hello, is it me? It's me Clive Owens today, come on. It shows a path for Spike Lee's career that he decided not to take. It is, I mean, it's super impressive

that the guy turns out what is basically a Hollywood thriller and it's just super great competent and fun to watch. I mean, it mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I. It's really like a New York color. Oh, no, I would say inside man is the closest to a remake in terms of spirit of the taking a Pell 1 2 3 because it is a crime movie that has a really good thriller plot and it's really suspenseful, but it does give you a picture of what life in New York at a certain time is like. Like it, it captures little things about kind of post September 11th, New York, in a way that no other movies I feel like really have except what like the 25th hour, which is all about post September 11th. Yeah, also Spike Lee. And it's also Spike Lee. And it's got a great cast. I don't know if I mentioned it has Clive Owen in it,

in it, Tenzel, Jody Foster, Christopher, my man, Pullumber. She's just a raw dog in it. She was seeing to the pee. She was showing a G4s also in there. He is totally in it. People say, I see pee means in St. Claimpassy. For me, there's only I, Christopher Pullumber. You're so... So, Jim Foster's in it doing a really weird performance

that's better than her weird performance in Olesian. Yep. So, two... I think you should have been supposed to be really good in it. No, I know, but she's like, it's her manner. She's all, she is borderline amnescient mystical being in some ways. Like, she's... She's like a wind elemental, like, Dameensch in that riddock movie. It's like Jody Foster is playing a non-crazy

version of Jillian Anderson's character in Hannibal. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Where there's just something off about her. So to summarize, I'm gonna recommend dirty dancing. I'm gonna recommend a different movie. This is a movie that we started time out at the beginning of Faithful Findings because there's a I'm gonna recommend a different movie. This is a movie that we started talking about at the beginning of Faithful Findings because there's a long shot of the storage locker area. And that's Primer. Primer.

I feel like Faithful Findings is an example of how one man can write direct, star and produce a movie on a very low budget and it is terrible. But it's possible for one man to- It's terrible for anyone to try and imitate such a great movie. Yeah, yeah, it's unimimable, it's inimitable. It's inimitable. There's a it is possible for one man to write direct, start and produce a very low budget movie

and have a come out really good. Like bad taste. Yeah, sure. I mean, that's an example too. It's not the one I'm going to talk about. It's primer, which came up because a lot of it takes place in the storage, in like a rental storage space, but it's for people who are not aware of it and probably most of our listeners are at this point, it's a time travel movie that was made for a very minimal budget,

it's like $7,000 or something like that, like it's El Marriacci level budget, but it's, and the one main way you can tell that is that the sound recording in some scenes is not ideal, but it's a really good time travel paradox science fiction movie that does not rely on special effects and just relies on. I mean, it's arguably the best time travel movie. Yeah, I think you could make a really good case that it's the best time travel movie there is. And I was not a fan that much of Shane Karuth, the writer director, stars other movie upstream color. I found that a

little too abstract for me. But I did, but primer I feel like is just in that right place of being mysterious, but also a movie with a plot that you can maybe have to puzzle out some of it later, but you can follow it. Whereas upstream color it felt like he wrote a movie and then he decided to like remove random pages of dialogue, and that I didn't love so much. I don't like upstream color. There are things I like about it. It's one of the, it's upstream color. What I like about it are the parts that have to do with their relationship only, and I don't like any of the stuff that has to do with the like conspiracy to get that chemical that makes people experience

the same thing. Whatever it is, you know. But primer, I recommend. Love budget dreams, live them, make the movie. Mm-hmm. I think upstream color is definitely like a movie that you kind of want to let wash over you and not think about it too hard,

whereas primer. We'll check your brain at the door thrill, Ryan. No, no, no. Real, Val, hallorizing. Like, it's so moody and like you get a sense of what it's about without trying to puzzle it out. Whereas I think primer actually rewards a little more engagement with what's going on.

I can see that. Even though you don't necessarily need to understand everything that happens to enjoy it. You don't have to say go on the internet and find those crazy crazy crazy diagrams. Which I'd like to see a crazy diagram about the movie Watch Night Faithful Findings. Man, there's you could make a Venn diagram of the plots of this movie and none of the circles would touch.

The plots were so disconnected from each other. But thank you again for listening. Are we done now? What's going on?. I appreciate we don't appreciate you enough the listener We're either letters. Yeah, it's the least we can do look. I know you're in a vulnerable place right now He's like a raw wound soaking in delicious salt Say it's great. Yeah, thank you Mmm, it's great. Yeah, thank you. Yeah.

Real great. Well, thanks to listeners and thanks to you Stewart and thanks to you Dan. Hey, Elliot, thanks. Hey, I had the time of my life and I owe it all to you. Stu. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, that song is forever linked in my mind with Chuck E. Cheese because I guess I went to Chuck E. Cheese a lot as a kid when that song was big. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum the question are these brothers or clones or is this a Are they moving so far? Are they moving so quickly that they appear to be in this place so much?

Jekyll G's is a real line fuck anyway Dan take it away for the flop house I've been Dan McCoy and one of them is moving super jerky like he's a robot the other one clearly seems to be a college guy that guy Stewart Wellington and who am I? Hey he's Ali Kaelin the lovable scamp and they're this favorite race. Trace Amigos for the flop house. It's us. I'm Dan McColley. I've been Ellie.

It's Kaelin Wellington and that's a weird guy. All right. Good night everyone. It's okay, how are our levels? Uh, find a me. I'm on the wood level. I think I'm going to. Whoa, that's dope. With leaf man?

Yeah, leaf man. Yeah. I suggest that you use the whatever fire thing on a wood thing. Yeah, thanks dude. Anyway. Thanks Nintendo Power. That insider's tip. Yeah.

If I could beat the fire level, I would have done that first. The good level is the one you beat before that because it's easier. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listen or supported. Hi, this is Dave Hill from Dave Hill's podcasting incident on the Maximum Fun Network. I'm here with my lovely and talented secretary,

Ms. Shayna Feinberg. Shayna, I understand you've been doing a bit of research to find out what listeners think of the show. Yes, I have, Dave. And what have you found? Well, people that love it say they love it because it's just Dave hanging out with someone in his apartment. Awesome. What do people that hate it say?

They hate it because it's just Dave hanging out with someone in his apartment. No. Listen to Dave Hill's podcast dancing on the maximum fun there. What mother's f***ing? Was that too much? No, I think it was perfect.