The Flop House - Gabby's Dollhouse: The Movie

Episode Date: March 28, 2026

"What's the Bratz of the 2020's?" we asked ourselves, chasing that ultimate Bratz high. "Could it be Gabby's Dollhouse: The Movie?" While perhaps not reaching those lofty heights, this was nearly as bonkos as reviews suggested it would be -- a psychedelic fantasia filtered through a combination Hello Kitty/candy store. The movie was not meant for us, but we had a fun time talking about it. Stay updated on all things Flop House, plus a little extra, with our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets! Wikipedia page for Gabby's Dollhouse: The Movie Recommended in this episode: Dan: Time Bandits (1981) Stu: Hank's Saloon (2026) Elliott: The Small Back Room (1949)

On this episode we discuss Gabby's dollhouse, the movie. Welcome to Flop House Jr., where kids rule and parents drool and homework is strictly off the menu, because why prepare for a future when climate change and economic collapse will not allow you to have one? Sobering. Sobering intro. It started fun, though. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kalen, writer of the new comic book, Barbarian Behind Bars, from Mad Cave Studios. I bought the last one they had at Forbidden Planet, Elliot. Congratulations. A sellout. A sellout. How many copies did they buy it or begin with at Forbidden Planet? Let's not get into those numbers. I don't get to look at their books. The important thing is it sold out. already preordered the eventual trade since as you know I'm

not an issue's man You're not a floppy guy? You do have a lot of issues though I do have so many issues That's why I'm not trying to get any new ones You know? Yeah but from what I've heard Dan is not a floppy guy If you know what I mean

He is one of the hosts of the flop house Oh you're right maybe he is a floppy guy Oh what I don't even know what I meant Well since none of us know what any of us mean Maybe we should move on to the meat of this show. This is a podcast where we watch a movie that was either a critical or a commercial flop. And we talk about it. Or that just looks like it would be silly to talk about.

Yeah, yeah. You might think, why are three grown men talking about Gabby's dollhouse the movie? I felt that way when I was sitting at home watching it by myself. Sitting at home watching it by myself with the sing-along mode enabled. Rarely have I watched something where it has been so clear from almost moment one, this is not for me. Not for us. It's not meant for me.

Anything we have to say about it is it's not really a consumer advocacy or like we're not giving any information to people. It's just for LARFs. And that was the thing about, I heard that this movie was nutty. And that was why I was kind of interested in checking it out. And it was not disappointed on the nuttiness factor. It was just processed in a vestiges. that handles nuts. That's what they're in.

Yeah. It's actually not that nutty. And before we get into it, I think Stuart has the unenviable role of explaining this movie. There are a few times, actually, having said that when I watched I was like, this is not for me. There are a few times I've watched

a flop-house movie that I've been more glad I am not on the phone story. Because this movie was like, as if I was behind a pane of glass and someone was just throwing brightly colored balls at it, none of the balls reached me.

They just bounced off the glass. That was this movie. I was like, I'm like, I can't even. keep track this. Never before have I felt more like Pecos Bill trying to lasso a twister

and riding around as the movie kept shaking my attempts off. Yeah, but before we start, I just wanted to say, from what I know, which is very little because I'm a childless man,

but what I've been able to glean is this is, of course, the... And also America's educational system has failed you. That's why you're very little. They didn't teach me anything about Gabby's dollhouse.

No. From what I've been able to glean. And you majored in dollhouse studies. I know. This is the movie version of a long-running children's television show that is in the sort of blues-clus area of interactive. You know, like the person in charge tells the kid at home, like, oh, you know, now we sing this thing.

Or can you see where that is? Or that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for a second, I thought I was watching a fucking Deadpool, right, guys? It was twisted in that. It was twisted, yeah. In them and a little dead pool way. So this is, so according to Wikipedia, the Gabby's All House show that has had 13 seasons with 86 episodes.

But it's like, how do you, how do you divide 86 by 13 to get seasons? It's impossible. I don't understand it. I don't get it. And don't write in to tell me how. I want to live with the mystery. So guys. Was there like a truncated writer's strike season like Breaking Bad?

I guarantee you this show is not a Writers Guild show. As a children's animated show on Netflix, I guarantee you that they have haunted. as much garlic as they need to keep the Writers Guild vampires away from the show and I am a Writers Guild vampire. Vampires are cool. I mean it has a positive thing. I mean, I'm sure this is a very,

like modern TV shows, like season counts mean nothing anymore. They're all over the place, but you're right. That's true. Those two numbers do not go into one another. It's 6.615384, etc. Look at calculator Dan over there, doing that math.

Oh, man. Yeah. Regular Marty Supreme. over there. Yeah, all of a sudden his eyes start flickering like he's a mentad or something. Yeah, I did it all in my head. Okay. You guys want to get into this adventure?

You guys are to go to Cat Francisco? Let's go to Cat Francisco. One of the funny things about this movie is that there's a magical fantasy world of the cat dollhouse, but the real world is also pretty cat-centric. It's incredibly cat-centric. And at the end, you know, not to skip directly to the end, but the final shot of a movie. When we see a lonely graveyard, Kat is making a new dollhouse.

For her coming little sister and it's dog themed, I'm like, wait, are dogs allowed in this world? Yeah, that's the thing. That's like the biggest flip. That's the Avengers initiative. Well, in their culture, when you give someone a dog-themed gift, that's a way of saying

you're going to die. It's like giving them a fish wrapped in newspaper or something like that, yeah. Yeah, it's a death note. Okay, so the movie opens. It opens on Gigi, I guess newly Grandma Gigi, who is a crafter, and she is building a... Go on?

No, no, no, sorry. She's building a dollhouse, a cat-themed dollhouse. This beautiful dollhouse, filled with tiny little figurines as a gift to her granddaughter, Gabby. And who plays Gigi? Elliot, why don't you answer your own question instead of asking me something... It's Gloria Estefan, of course. I was briefly very excited to see Gloria Estefan in here,

but then she doesn't really sing in the movie. So I was like, all right, well, that's disappointing. I cannot realize that. Oh, wow. Okay, so in addition to gifting her granddaughter, this dollhouse, she also gives her a pair of magical cat ears, like a magical cat ear headband, and a stuffed doll of a cat named Pandy.

And these are magic, and we learned that utilizing these two instruments, these two fetters, allows her to transform herself into a tiny little animated version of herself and into the dollhouse where all these magical cat dolls come to life. So, Gigi, some sort of witch figure? A brouhaha, I believe in their culture, Dan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, and the pandi is a familiar of a sort of. Yes, exactly.

So before we get into the meat of story. It is quite a brouhaha that gets caused by chumsling when he shows up. As soon as we start playing around with magic. Now, before we get into it, let's meet the Gabby Cats. Why don't we? Because this is, you know, we have met some all-star lineups in our day. But I think this might take the cake. So, of course, we have...

We need a real introduction here. Ladies and gentlemen, you're 2025. Because that's when the movie came out. Gabby Cats. Take it away, Stuart. First we got Pandy Paws. Pandy Paws is the stuffed doll that is also by squeezing Pandy's paw allows them to become animated and exist within the dollhouse world. Pandy is kind of like her all-purpose sidekick.

Then we have Kakey. Dan, what does Kakey look like? Kiki looks like a little cupcake. But if a cupcake had like 15%. percent cat. There are a couple lines that Kiki has, for a moment I thought that friend of the show, Jenny Jaffe, was doing the voice,

but it was not to be? Was it when Kiki accidentally burned her little human-like buttocks? And said, Kiki got bakey or something like that? And also, I was like, it's not really a joke. Like, I don't really know what that is. But I ain't a rhyme. I ain't mad at it. That's true.

Let's hear some more cats. Okay, we got Murkats. Mercat is of course a half cat, half fish mermaid type creature. Then we got my favorite, probably your favorite as well. That's right. Cat rat. Oh, yeah. Cat rat is kind of like a cat and a rat, but mainly just like a dirty old cat.

He reminded me a lot of the cat from the cats movie who introduces all the other cats, but he never actually says his name in the movie. What was his name? Mifungo or something like that. Oh, God. So that's not. What am I doing? Is it a little bit gungous?

Bombolina. Humongous, was that it? Anyway, it's not important. Stuart, we've got more cats. Okay, so we got DJ Catnip. DJ Catnip, who's like a cat who also has these like long springy legs. We have baby box. Dan, what does baby box look like?

A box? Like a baby cat, like a happy meal for a head. We have Carlida. Of course, Carlita is a car. and a cat. You may remember her from the Al Pacino movie Carlita's Way? Very different movie. Interesting role for a car cat.

And she's also the cousin of the cat bus from Totoro. Monk strap. Monk strap, thank you. Which is what a monk uses to hold his testicles when he's doing athletics. Continues Stewart with the cats. Yeah. Normally you would think you would just toss him over his shoulder, but nope, yes, the worst.

Like a continental soldier, yeah. Then we got Pillow Cat. Dan, do you remember Pillow Cat? I have to admit that the cats kind of merged into a cat chorus. Me neither. I'm not a big Pillow Cat fan, but that's right. You can't, you know, there's always... We can't all be winners.

Yeah, there's a top and a bottom. I think compared to the talking pillow and Ugi loves, Pillow Cat was a dud. And then we have, of course, Kitty Fairy, which is a kitty that's also a fairy. And while that is all of our Gabby cats, I do, though not technically a Gabby Cat, I do have to give an extra shout out for a character

who will show up later in the movie, and that's Cookie Bobby, who is some kind of cookie creation that's also kind of a cat voiced, of course, by Maddie Matheson. Did you mention Kitty Fridge, the living refrigerator, who's also a cat? I forgot to mention Fortune Feimster voiced Kitty Fridge. Okay, so that's our Gabby Gats.

I think we all have our favorites. There's a reversal of Feimster. Yeah. So we, flash forward, Gabby is now a tween. Is that correct? I'm not estimating age here. I mean, in real life, she's like 18. She's like 17 or 18.

Yeah, I mean, well, Dan, let's not get gross. But she's... I don't know, do you start licking your chops? Like, somebody put up in big stagia. No, let's not go into that world. This is clearly, like, you know, someone who's off to college age. Yes, I think so. Not what the age that they're trying to show.

She's an elder teen at this point. Yeah. Okay. So elder teen Gabby goes on a road trip with Grandma Gigi to go stay at Gigi's house in Cat Francisco. This, they bring the doll house along because, you know. So did Gigi drive from Cat Francisco to Gabby's house across the country and then back again? Yeah. She drove across the country to get her and then drove across the country to get back home. I mean, she's a retiree. She's got plenty of time.

Oh, that's true, I guess. I mean, she's just looking to fill the time. Gabby could easily get on a plane. the cat-related sites along the way. That's right. So Gabby was living alone in the old Gigi house? Like, where was she living? No, Gabby was just in her house. She's just in her house.

But now she's moving to Cat Francisco with her grandmother. Just visiting. Just visiting. But she's taking her dollhouse with her. I guess because... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's taking the dollhouse with her because she loves her dollhouse so much.

Yeah. It's like, it's kind of her thing, right? Yeah. I mean, I guess if you have living cat dolls, you can't just leave those at home. Otherwise, you'll have a chumsley situation, which we'll talk about later. You don't want one of that. Okay, so when they arrive to Cat Francisco, obviously we get like a road trip montage

where we see various sites that are reminiscent of sites in our universe, but in the cat universe, they're a little bit catified. Including one where they're like, one of the characters is just hugging Shrek, I guess, because it's the same company. It's the same as in our universe. You put us Shrek out there. Somebody's hugging his ass. Look, either Dr. Phil is a green Eminem is marrying him or someone's hugging him.

That's what you do with a Shrek. Okay. I just want to say, I was reading in, my New Yorker reading is like a year and a half behind. But I just read an article in one where it was about this college student who is dedicated years to try to get justice for the donkey who inspired the donkey in Shrek. There's a real life donkey. It just like, this donkey has health problems. It deserves to get more money and attention from the studio. And I was like, of all the.

things going on in the world. What a strange cause to take on as your own. Yeah, two things. Like, until you explain it, I'm like, what does justice for a donkey mean? And number two is like, because of like the Zoom call, it sounded at first, like instead of New Yorker, you said you were reading the Bjorker. Which is the Bjorks magazine where she talks about.

Things that interest her at the moment. Yeah. It's just like, you know, it's like hair care tips where you like, you have to get, uh, you leave food out for the fair. Oh, damn. It's showing off this fucking snatch game. There's stuff. There's stuff about food for fairies. There's reminiscences of awkward moments with Matthew Barney. Like there's lots of, yeah, Bjorker is a great magazine.

Anyway, keep going on with the summary. Let's keep moving. Yeah. Okay. So after arriving in Cat Francisco, which similar to San Francisco in our universe, it is very hilly, which is important because while Gabby is distracted by her grandmother, cat rat gets, he gets antsy. and he decides to undo the straps holding the dollhouse to the van,

letting it start sliding down these hills, because, of course, the dollhouse has these wheels. Before we get too far into this, well, before we get too far into this chase sequence, do they ever, I wasn't paying that much attention to this, do they ever make a cat tower reference for San Francisco? A cat tower? No, I don't think they do.

Anyway, that's it. Instead of Kuwait Tower? Yeah, it was really worth a style. happen to talk about it. No, it's good. Let's just write in if you thought that was worth it. Yeah, right into, Dan, shut up, courtesy of the flop house. One, two, three, fake street, any town, USA.

I'm going to get so many letters. Yeah. It's going to make me feel bad. You're going to move off the fake street. They're going to run you out of town. Run you out of any town. Yeah, run you out on a cat rail. This is a real fear that I understand about those hills of San Francisco.

I remember once when my older son was very little, pushing him in the, a stroller around a hill in San Francisco and I realized I was like if I accidentally let go of him at this moment he is gone I will never see like the stroller will roll down this hill and I will never catch up with it and it was one of the scariest moments in my life so I really felt this moment I was like oh this is a frightening fear it's a real life fear yeah I mean you should have fucking tied that shit to your wrists even I didn't need to I didn't happen you know fuzzy sexy handcuffs lying around why don't you just use those yeah I should I you know what my fuzzy handcuffs I did pack them because when in when in San Francisco I I always bring my fuzzy handcuffs.

But I think the problem was we hadn't had a chance to use them on the trip, so I forgot I had them with me. And so I didn't attach the stroller to my wrist using my fuzzy sex handcuffs. Even as someone who has no real life fear to attach this to, like, I have to, like, this is going to show like how incredibly soft-hearted I've become and how I need to harden up as a human being. Well, watching Gabby's dollhouse, a film where I can reasonably assume that nothing bad is really going to happen. I was like, this is way she's stressful for me for this movie to start off with like this girl's like most prized possession filled with living cat dolls to like zoom down these hills and be separated from her immediately. So yeah, Gabby gives chase, but obviously she's outpaced by the much faster dollhouse. So it zooms around corners. It almost gets an accident.

It handles very well considering it is again a six foot tall dollhouse on wheels. being steered by basically the doll figurines inside, running from one side to the other to add weight. Yeah, that way it can't be enough to do that. Eventually, it comes to rest. Yeah, Dan, let's talk about the physics of Gabby's dollhouse, the movie. When Gabby tweaks her ears and becomes a tiny Gabby, where does the extra mask go? Where does that mass go?

And when she turns back to human, where does the new mass come from? Mass can neither be destroyed nor recreated. Oh, it's been particles of a space. When she's smaller, she is heavy as fuck. Oh, wow. Then I worry that if she shrinks too much, she'll become an intense super gravity black hole and destroy all of Cat Francisco.

Well, luckily, Gigi has not given her that ability. Oh, thank goodness. Okay, so the dollhouse comes to rest outside of a vintage store, where it is espied by a passing kitty litter magnate, Vera, played of course, by Kristen. Whig, who is driving around in her convertible. Weig?

Whig? I just say wig. I say wig, but I mean, you're pronouncing it the same way you would if she was a Nintendo Wii, so maybe you're right. And she's driving by in her convertible with, I think she's with her cat Marlena, who is not hairless, but like looks like a hairless cat? She's like a sphinx cat type cat, right? Kind of, yeah, and is like eternally angry, possibly because of the amounts of wigs, outfits,

and turbans Marlaina has to wear. Now, this is a good segue for something I wanted to talk about, which is the way that the trivia section of the Gabby's dollhouse entry on the IMDB,

there are a number of, some would say interesting, and I would say just interesting that they exist, piece of trivia. I mean, there's literally a place in there to say if you find it interesting or not.

Yeah, exactly. But I'm glad that you're bringing it out of the comments section into the podcast. So this says Julie Kavanaer was originally considered to be the role of Vera, but declined. Instead, giving the part to Kristen Wig.

And I have to assume they changed the part quite a bit because I can't imagine Julie Kavanaugh doing some of the things Kristen Wig does in this, like yoga and things like that. Were we about to have back-to-back Julie Kaffner movies? We almost had, this almost became Kavanaugh-Rash. The Kavanaugh-Theneer-Theneer-Mun.

Kavanaugh-Berry. Yeah, the Kavanaugh-Mud. But it said, the next one. Ilana Glazer and Jeff Garland were originally offered to portray Gabby's mother and father in film, but declined. Instead, Gabby's parents have been written out of the film. And there are a number of pieces of trivia on this

that are, this person was almost in the movie, which means they were offered a part and said no, which does not mean they were almost in the movie. But then you get a lot of, you get a lot of trivia, like about a dozen piece of trivia, that are like this. Let's see.

This is the second Netflix film adaptation from DreamWorks and Spirit Untamed. It is, however, the first one to be connected to the original series rather than be a remake of that series, or this one. DreamWorks Animation's first G-rated film to not release on VHS, not be distributed by DreamWorks Pictures, and not have a PG-rated follow-up film.

There are so many... Apparists. So many trivia pieces here about, like, firsts that's this movie have that don't make... That are like the most baseball stat of hair cutting. I think that's the sign that AI is coming for the job of weirdos who posted the trivia section of IMDB.

I didn't even think about that. It makes so much more sense if these were AI listed... And this is my favorite one I wanted to bring out the most. It is rather interesting. And the fact that it says in the beginning makes me feel like AI... wrote this. It is rather interesting. It is rather interesting that this film would be released in 2025

after the Bad Guys 2, which will make it DreamWork's 50th animated feature film as 50 is divisible by 25. That's the piece of trivia. Is that interesting? Wait, what? That it is. That it is interesting. It's released in 2025 and 50 is divisible by 25. How many people do you think found that helpful on IMDV? I'm going to go with a goose egg on that.

Oh, you're wrong. Nine people found it helpful. Of course, 49 thumbs down. 49 unhelpful. Nine real breathing human beings, I'm sure, found it super interesting. What this tells me, you're right, I think most of this stuff must be AI generated, is my guess, which makes me feel both good that a human didn't waste their time on it and bad, that even are dumb, I have to be trivia, longer has the,

I like to imagine some human person being like, all these exciting discoveries about Gabby's dollhouse. I've got to share them with the world, you know. But what do you think on the numerology of that? That's their 50th animated film came out in 2025. 50 is divisible by 25. And the number you get is two, vandized two, was the one right before it.

Wow. Oh, shit. This goes all the way to the top. Next thing, you know, we're going to see that Gabby's dollhouse is in the Epstein files. That's how in the weeds we are and the conspiracy on this one. And I was born in February, which is the second month. And my birthday is the 26th, which is one more than 25. Wow.

Gabby. The 26 is also divisible by two. Mm-hmm. The number you get, 13. Oh, that's a scary number. Yesterday was Friday the 13. Oh, wow. That's a scary number.

That's Jason's birthday. Okay. Okay, folks, well, Vera sees the end guys, Kristen Weig in this movie. I mean, I think we'll, I'm sure we'll mention it. I think she gives, I don't know if I would go so far as to say,

Jim Carrey in the Sonic franchise level of commitment, but she seems committed. Her outfits are great. It's fine. She comes out of this movie looking good. Like, and I think she comes, she doesn't, I feel like this is one, another, we've seen this a number of times now where people who are better than the material that they're in, this or Jermaine Clement in Harold and the Purple Cran or Jim Carrey in the Sonic movies,

they do a good job. And you come out being like, I wish that person didn't have to do that movie because they're, but they did a good job. I like to see the minute. But there's also more good movies for being made. And this character is so, this character, yes, well, and this character is so early set up to be like the Cruella DeVille, like villain type character. And that's not really what she's doing at all.

And it just becomes an excuse for Kristen Wake to do silly things in the movie. And I'm like, okay, great. This is good to handle this. Leach blonde hair that's pink at the top. And Dan, you were texting us about how attractive you found her. I apologize to the world, but she's a really fog. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the idea that you're drawn to an incredibly wealthy cat lady.

Yeah, who is also stylish He does yoga with her day. Yeah, I mean, there's, I, the math works out. I don't see a problem with it. And also doesn't seem to like having children around. This is all perfect for 10. But I think this points to a, either a good or a bad thing,

which is a, whereas people used to be like Anthony Newley in the Garbage Pell Kids movie where it would be like, you could tell he does not care, and he is not bothering even to stick to the script or do whatever. Like, you could, I think, feel like when you see people in bad kids movies now, or in kids' movies that should be disposable, they're really, like, doing it.

Like, they're acting, they're doing a good, they're committing to it. And I think that's both a good thing because it means we get good performances out of them that lift these movies, but also a bad thing because it's like, like you're saying, Dan, I wish they had better movies

to make those committed performances in. I think there's also, for the actor, I think there's also something to be said about the idea of being in children's movies can add to your longevity because people, like those, kids will grow up someday and remember you. And I, you know, I watch a movie.

Like, if they're putting in a good performance in it, I'm not, you know, like you say, there's no stink on the person. I watch this movie and I admire her for being such a pro. Yeah. Just really putting it all into the silliness. I feel like people don't, people only can come off well when they're, when they're committing properly to the role. And like the, like later on when you were saying Jared Leto comes off pretty well, right?

I think that's committing improperly to the role, improperly. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I'll put that in the don't-dos. My guess is that Christian... Which is next to do-do, which is very confusing. Which is, when everybody does it, Dan, everybody does do-do. My guess is that Kristen Whig was not like,

I've got to get into the character of Vera. Let me mail a dead cat to Gabby. I think which probably at the end of the day when they said, you know, quit in time and they blew that whistle. She took off that wig and said, I'll leave Vera here on the set. And I'll be Kristen Wig for the evening. Yeah.

Okay. So Vera sees this dollhouse, and this looks perfect because, as we'll learn, she has a very cat-themed apartment, which I'm guessing, I feel like her mansion almost. Yeah, my mistake. Very beautiful home. She has one of those huge apartments where there's no other apartments in the building. What are those called? What are those called? I don't know what they are.

Where it's just one person and they don't share the building with other people, what's that apartment called? Well, yeah, I guess I'm revealing my New Yorker status. Yeah, New York brains. To Stewart's like, well, then they get onto one of those small. all above ground subways. You mean a car, Stuart? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow.

Check out Mr. Rockefeller over here. Owning a car. An early sign of like we should not be taking Elon Musk seriously when he was like, we're going to build this thing where you put your cars in like a train underground. And it's like, yeah, dude, it's a subway, man. We have that. It works better when you don't drive a car to it. Yeah.

So Vera sees this dollhouse and she has to have it because he would fit well with her art collection. Vira said that? That was for Dan. I knew it'd get that reference. So she runs over. She puts a stack of cash. They don't do a close-up on the bills,

but I'm assuming the president's heads are cat heads. And she buys this, you know, she buys this dollhouse from a befuddled vintage store owner who did not realize they had a dollhouse there. In the process, she irks some local kitty rangers who are kind of like Girl Scouts. Yeah, they're not like. Power Rangers.

And this girl is like totally sort of extraneous to the film. I'm not really understanding what her role is. I mean, you're right, Dan, because otherwise it's a real clockwork plot. It's a real house of games on this one. They make a point of setting this character up. She shows up again later to do basically nothing. She shows up at the end to dance with Kristen Wigg. I'm like, why was this part of the movie?

I don't know. I mean, well, as we'll talk about it, I feel like the Kitty Rangers play a pretty pivotal role in the rescue of the Gabby Cats, but maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm more of a Gabby cat defender. Apologist? Yeah. I mean, I'm just I'll just say. Yeah, they know what they did. War crimes. I'm glad

that we, I'm glad that we didn't that we didn't do more with that character because one of the things that I couldn't, this movie, when you watched it as I did on on Prime, it was like an hour and 45 minutes long. And I was like, what? How is this movie so long? But the last like 18 minutes are all credits.

And I was so glad that that time was credits rather than more of the Girl Scout subplot, you know. Okay, so the Kitty Rangers kind of vow to get back at Vera for this. So Vera takes the dollhouse back to her mansion and she takes out some of the Gabby Cat figurines and she places a few of them around her property and puts the rest of them in her purse because she loves her collectibles. she calls them, not toys, but collectibles. No, collectibles.

During this process, cat rat is abandoned in the dollhouse, and he wandering around bumps into Chumsley, who is Vera's old cat doll, voiced, of course, by Jason Mansuchas. I think he does a great job, too. He does. And he comes off great also. Chumsley is kind of embittered a little bit, quite a bit we will learn,

because he was Vera's childhood toy who was then abandoned as she got older. It's just like the villain from Toy Story 3. Exactly. Yeah. There's only so many stories you can tell what toys. And also the villain from Toy Story 2. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

And he, along with him, there's a villain from Toy Story 4, possibly. I haven't seen Part 4. What happens? I only saw pieces of it. I can't really remember. I can't remember. There's a little of...

Who's in that one? Right. Forky. Who was in that one? Forky. Yeah. You know what? You don't remember Forky.

Like I remember Forky. You know what? I remember Forky. That's right. Yeah, yeah. He's the, yeah. He was an interesting addition to the choice.

To have a kid's movie where one of the characters constantly trying to kill himself because he believes himself to be trash. It's an interesting choice. Yeah, it's like that dog from Spin City. Do you guys remember that dog?

Oh, yeah. That's right. I do remember that dog. I don't. Just Michael Boatman that can hear him talking, right? Like none of the other characters can hear him talking,

but he's always trying to kill himself. Yeah, that's pretty funny. That was an interesting thing for them to throw into a sitcom about how the mayor's office works. What a, what a cast, right? Yeah, it could have been a better cast. Season one, they had Carla Goghino,

and then she was off the show for the rest of it, you know. RIP to that show. Her character. Okay, so, And Chumsley, as we said, Chumsley also is followed along by a collection of these like jelly looking cat dolls that are also part of her collectible collection.

Okay. Meanwhile, Gabby distraught realizes, you know what? Why am I running around? This whole stack is in all the cards. I was like looking at it. I'm like, what the hell? How is it possible? Because we're going to sing all the songs.

So I wrote down on. Yeah. Stewart's got a James Lipton style stack of cards there to tell us about Gabby's dollhouse. Gabby's distraught, but then she realized, why the fuck am I heel-tone it around Cat Francisco? Why don't I just use the magic and teleport into the house? So looking directly at the screen, she sings her song, you guys want to do it with me?

Nope. So she says, a pinch on the left, pinch, pinch on the right, what, grab, get a Pandi's. Hold on to Pandy's hand or grab Pandy's hand, yeah. And then they teleport in there. And now she's animated. She appears in the dollhouse, which is kind of in disarray at this point, because Cat Rat and Chumsley are having a ball. They're making a mess and playing.

I don't want to... Did we mention the toppers? Chums' little henchmen friends, the toppers? They're all pencil toppers. Oh, that's what they are. I described them as like jelly figures. That's right. That's right.

That's right. I was thinking about Carly Gino, so I miss that part. I don't want to again, you know, question the logic of Gabby's dollhouse. Do it, Dan. That's why we're here. Because this is Mythbusters, Gabby's dollhouse. Why at this point?

Gaddy's dollhouse factor fiction. Yeah, yeah. If I shoot a bullet through Gabby's dollhouse, once she has, you know, used her power to teleport her to the dollhouse, why does she not merely re-become large and explain her predicament to Kristen Whig? My assumption is that because she has found herself

in a rich person's home, she is worried she'll be shot as a trespasser. Makes sense. You know, and Kristenwick really, Herveira is really more of a shoot-first-asked questions later type of character. This is a much more sad commentary on our current state of affairs life. Oh, it's all in there, Dan. It's all in there, yeah.

And you know she would have a pretty stylish little, well, gun. Yeah, and it would look like a cat was spitting the bullets out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, you think it's cool, huh? Well, I guess I'm just a little more a better person than you because I think it's bad. Yeah, yeah. Well, the thing is that in my world, I would call something bad,

It's cool. Oh, okay. So you're both right. It's a little twisted. Like the mid to late 80s? Yeah. Yeah, that's my world. So does cool me in bad then?

If bad means cool? Exactly. So you were really calling it bad and Dan was really calling it cool. Oh, man. I thought I was a good person. Yeah, that's right. It turns out Dan's the bad guy and Stuart is the good guy. But that means I'm good.

Oh, boy. Merely that you're cool. Not necessarily good. True. Okay. Nice is different than good. Gabby leaves cat rat and chumsley to guard the dollhouse and then she and Pandy head out to go rescue the missing Gabby cats.

They run around this home for a little bit before finding Murcat in the aquarium. So we have a little undersea adventure. There's a song. They eventually rescue Murcat and they escape. In a bubble. We'll find that wherever the little cats go, their magic spreads kind of like life and goodness to the things around them.

I guess it's what the power of play or something like that, you know? And they kind of like animate the various things that are. Yeah. When they rescue Merkat, do they rescue her Merkin? Stuart, please move on. So as the after rescuing. You can refer back to that address to tell me to show up. Yeah, yes, please do.

float away, they're floating through the home. Back to, Dan, enough of your, enough of your disgusting puns. So they're floating away in a bubble and Vera unknowingly opens the door and they go flying out into the garden where they land and they encounter a tribe of kitty gnomes that are like wooden little garden gnome cat characters who are also kind of like savage coded.

And they're animated at like a different frame than the rest of them to make it look a little more like their, like, stop motion or something. Yes. And they're all voiced by comedians, you know, by comedy people. And unlike the rest, who are all Broadway's biggest stars. And of course, F. Marie Abraham, who shows up as Grandfather Grant. That's F. Marie Abrecat. So they, the kitty gnomes take Gabby and crew to their leader, which of course is Kitty Fairy,

who the kitty gnomes are kind of worshipping as both a queen and some kind of a god. They convince kitty fairy to sneak out with them so they try to trick the gnomes who do not want to give up their new god. They trick them into playing a game of hide and seek which leads to a flying chase in this kind of ornithopter-type contraption

that they've created. And the gnomes are just flying dragonflies, right? They're just flying dragonflies. it's pretty cool. Yeah. To be honest, this sequence is my favorite

in the movie, I think. It felt like they established a real sketch premise. They pull it off. There's a couple funny jokes in there. It leads to an exciting,

you know, chase. I was like, okay, you know what movie? Yeah. You got me for this part. Yeah. It even like in the climax, of course,

is where their makeshift flying machine is falling out of the sky and part of it involves some gardening gloves and Vera looking out her window sees this contraption

falling out of the sky and waves back at it. Yeah, I like this running gag of Kristen Wigg slowly going mad because she thinks she sees, I mean, she does see small people running around with small cats. Ali, just to jump back, you said this is maybe your favorite part. Would you say that your least favorite part was the license plate that said kitty wagon on the...

I didn't love that. I think that would be my least favorite part if it wasn't for the... It's a Kill Bill reference, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If it wasn't for the introduction of... Cookie Bobby. I think that would be my least

favorite part. Oh, wow. When he shows up, he comes out of nowhere, he goes away quickly, he is off-putting and unpleasant, and I was like why is this here? Why is this happening right now? You know? Well, he's Cookie Bobby.

Okay, so they eventually you know, they... I feel like every kid's movie, there's one thing in it where if a kid sees it at the wrong moment, it becomes a nightmare that they carry with them for the rest of their life. And when Cookie Bobby came up, I was like, that's it. This is the one for this movie. I'm cooking bobby.

Okay, don't need that. They eventually come to an agreement with the kitty gnomes. The kitty gnomes realize how much they enjoyed playing with our heroes, but they are like, you don't need us to play. You can play with yourselves. And Dave's

like, damn right, I can. It's an important message, you know. And so, hooray, so we've got another saved kitty. Now the rest of them, we find out, are in Vera's purse. That's going to be tough. Luckily, just then the Kitty Rangers show up

and they play hardball trying to sell, what, like, cake pops or something? Whatever it is they sell, that's their equivalent of cookies. They say you have to buy a lot of it if you don't give us that dollhouse. And Vera just gives them a bunch of money. And that's it.

The weird part, okay, is that the... Initially, she tries to close the door on them. And so, you know, the little girl blocks it with her shoe. After they come to an agreement, she just closes the door and I'm like, you should have just locked that thing. But she leaves it

and then the Kitty Rangers just go into her home like it's, I don't know, like it's some kind of home invasion thriller. Yeah, it's real Goldilocks type energy right here, yeah.

Mm-hmm, yeah. And or funny games. Yeah, I mean, Goldilocks was essentially the original funny games. I don't know. The funny games you're thinking of was a remake of another movie

called Funny Games. I think that came forced. The original. That inspired Goldilocks. Oh, yeah, right, you're right. That inspired Goldilocks. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

Goldilocks saw funny games. It goes, I can just go into any house I want and terrorize a bunch of bears. Goldilocks also German, right? It was Golden Locken, right? Something like Gildenlocking, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gildenlocken, yeah. Undy tribe barren.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. Oh, man, I got like 100 more cards to go through. Please don't. So the, the, the, the, the Kitty Rangers are running around Veer's home. They are pushing her sculptures around,

and it's all this fun cat-related stuff. And they're like, you don't play with all this cool stuff. She's like, no, it's collectibles. Meanwhile, Gabby is using this distraction to save what, baby box, all the other ones. You are looking to the Wally. Your favorite cats. Yeah, all the cats that you love. Baby box, DJ Cat, Nip, at least one other, maybe Pillow Cat.

Yeah. Carlyta doesn't need. I think Cakeys in there. Yeah, Kakee, sure. Kiki did get baked earlier. Yeah. Mungo Jerry. So she rescues the rest of them. We have all of our team.

Why is there so much movie left? Well, we're going to find out. So they go to the dollhouse. That's where they're like, okay, well, we're going to leave. And Chumsley's like, fuck that. I'm not going to go back to my life of not getting played with. This sucks. So he and his cronies, kick them out and they board up the windows.

So, I, I want to tie this in. Like, we've seen this in a fair number of flop house movies before, including if or IF or, you know, like, whatever. Yeah, if. Yeah, Lindsay Anderson movie. Malcolm McDowell. I mean, the word isn't if. It's just like a, you know, it's IF, imaginary friend or whatever.

But my point is. But don't they say if in it? I guess that's true. Well, that was a useful way to spend in this. Useful way to spend time. So, Dan, what are you saying? We've seen this message in a lot of these movies where, It just seems to be like...

Did I mention my wife earlier was like, we've got things to do today so you can make this a quicker recording and I'm like, you got it. Can... There's a lot of ones where the message seems to be like,

can you believe that people grow up and stop playing with things or stop like having imaginary friends? Oh, brother. And it's just like, yeah, I don't understand this message. Dan, I'm glad you brought it up because this is what... This movie, I felt like I was going to be

like, oh, this movie's going to be so dumb and crass or whatever. But really, the issue I have with the movie is exactly that, that the message is like, don't grow up, keep playing with your toys. And I'm like, if there is a problem in America today, it is that adults have stopped growing up in the way that, not in the way of like, these young people aren't buying houses, but the way that we have a lot of old pieces of shit in the government who act like children and do stuff like and pretend the world is a video game or like their teens online who are meaming through killing people and stuff like that.

And I was looking at our current Secretary of Defense, who's, again, I'll just go on the limb here, a piece of shit. Yeah, I think that's fair. The fact that he's like, our warfighters need intense lethality. Look at the way we were blowing up all that stuff. Isn't it cool? And it's like, grow up, man. You're one year older than me.

And you're acting like you're 14 years old and you're in charge of the military. Like, so the message of kids shouldn't grow up and become adults. It's like, no, I disagree. We need more adults. We need more adults in the world. If we lived in a world where people stop playing with their toys, and that means we get movies other than like Key Man and Thundercats and stuff like that in the theaters, yes, what a wonderful world to live in.

So, Gabby's dollhouse, uh, jukes. I mean, and clearly, like, we're weird people to make this point since we're still watching this stuff and being silly about it and whatnot. But we're watching it for money to make fun of it, like an adult would. But, you know, like there's, there's, there's borders. There's, there's, like, lines. I feel like there, I feel like we used to see movies where, where, like, Mary Poppins, where the message is, and Maryv is an old movie, but like the message is don't lose that sense of wonder or excitement in your life. Which that I agree with. Now we're over the, over the hill through the looking glass or whatever, whatever you want to call it, where the, where it's like, don't grow up ever.

Never abandon your dull house imaginary cat friends. Yeah. Whereas I feel like the, as opposed to. It's the end of fucking labyrinth where instead of leaving her weird little recreated bedroom with the weird pack rat Muppet things, she's like no, I'll just stay here with all my stuff

all my shit and never leave. Over the end of Toy Story 3 where if Andy instead of giving his toys to a kid is like nah, I'm gonna hold on to these these are cool, I want to play with them forever and snatch them out of the hands of a child to take with him to college when it would be weird can you imagine Andy and college

having sex with his girlfriend in his dorm room and his toys are just lined up up on his desk watching them do it, that would be terrible. That's not a good, we don't want that to happen. We want Andy to give those toys to a kid to play with, not to take them with him to college. Whereas I feel like the message of this movie would be like, take your toys with you to college. Now, let's talk about the brave little toaster where I don't know why he doesn't take those things because it's a toaster, an electric blanket, those are useful items.

They're not actually toys, a desk lamp. Why doesn't he take those? I don't understand. And again, if you're watching any of the videos, many toys. many toys lined up behind me. Dan points to teaky mugs and calls them toys. Well, I have over here, there's some little... But, Dan, do you play with those toys, or are they collect them?

No, they're just things that I enjoy looking at because they bring back... He calls them objects to art. He does. Actually, sometimes he calls them objects to fart, and he laughs a little bit. Yeah. Anyway, so continues to it. What else happened? So that's my rant for this episode is children grow up someday. Become adults. Put away childish things.

you can still enjoy the feelings. Not the flop house. Hold on to that. Hold on to that with a death grip you never let go of. But the... Well, especially since we're aging with it and becoming clearly grumpier

as that time goes on. I think the idea of like, you should still hold on to the kind of joy that those things once brought to you and apply that. Find ways to achieve that joy so you don't lose wonder,

curiosity, beauty, fun from your life. But it doesn't have to be the exact same way you did it as a same thing. As I grow older, I realize that, part of my sickness, part of why, like, I have, I struggle with it sometimes to, uh, to find as much joy in my life as I used to, is like, I'm clinging to things that used to bring me joy,

seeking the same joy and not realizing like, oh, maybe I just need to transfer over to other things that are more effective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you got to grow. You grow and you. Yeah.

That's the excitement of life is discovery, you know. Like 10 milligrams of weed gummies instead of five. Yeah. Okay. So I apologize to everybody all the kids who came here to hear us talk about Gabby's dollhouse and then I turned into an old man.

So Gabby and the Gabby Gats all get kicked out of the dollhouse. Chumsley boards up the windows. So Gabby's like, okay, I don't know if I can do this alone. She sends Pandy and Carlita back to Gigi to try and get Gigi to help. And Carlita is a little too sexy, right?

Not in her the way. as Carlita's right. But the way, she is just like she exudes kind of like brat energy I guess maybe

you'd call it like it's just super in your face and like winking at you and I'm like this is intense for a cat car.

I haven't seen the cars franchise but I'm assuming all the cars ladies look like that right? I mean they don't look like cats I don't remember

like really sexy cars ladies and they have like tramp stamps or something no they just kind of have like big lips you know

that's just lady lips that's pretty much it yeah do they give birth by like a little car coming out of their trunk? That's all still a mystery. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, scientists are still working on it. Should I Google it? I wonder if I'll find anything crazy. Yeah, sure. I mean, the thing is the car's movies. Yes, do it. Yeah, do it. This isn't in-movie, but they lay eggs.

That's how they reproduce. Oh, that actually makes sense. They're actually reptiles. They're cold-blooded creatures, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. Okay. So, Gabby and the rest of the cats find a way to sneak into the house. Chumsley sees her magical cat ears

and he realizes, and I guess he overhears or he realized that they're the font of her power. So he snatches them off her head. Now he's in control. And the dollhouse starts to change as it's tied to his kind of negative vibes. Again, they're kicked out of the house.

Gigi arrives. Gigi comforts Gabby. I think Baby Box gives her a new pair of cat ears after she admits that she's nervous about not laying to play with her cat toys anymore. She gets older. She's like, Gigi, you still play with toys? How do you do it?

And she's like, I just do. Yeah, I just, you know, it doesn't take a lot. Yeah. And so they decide to get Vera involved at this point. So Gabby makes herself normal and human again. Terrifying Vera. She convinces Vera to make herself small using a pair of cat ears. And that further breaks her concept of reality as they're all teleported into the dollhouse

where Chumsley is baking a magical cake, but he goes a little bit too ham on it. And it causes a magical portal to open sucking in Chumsley, cakey, and eventually Vera and Gabby. Yeah, I mean, like, I will say it breaks her concept of reality a little bit, but it still takes Vera a surprising amount of time to come around to the fact that, like, she needs to play with Chumsley, considering that like now she knows that, I guess Chumsley is sentient and needs to be played with or else he will cease to exist and magic will collapse.

That's a lot of weight to put on one brain all on once, right? Yes, true. So speaking of that, they begin cakey, Vera and Gabby traverse a desert my mistake dessert landscape they ride

horses when an unplanned joke oh that's what you think I did make a note about it so they ride around on horses

fashioned out of frosted cookies they get trapped they ride along a dessert themed like river they are about to get sucked into a whirlpool

when Elliot's favorite dude Cookie Bobby chucks them out of the raging watery vortex only to get sucked in himself but he seems fine with it he's probably dead nope he shows up later

he's with us forever now yeah because how could we ever lose Cookie Bobby a horrifying monstrosity that comes out of nowhere and goes to nowhere truly and a an incisive statement on the absurdity and meaninglessness of existence.

Are we all Cookie Bobby at some level? Isn't that the horror we live with daily? So similar to the Dark Tower series, our heroes are traveling across a nightmarish landscape. They're a hot head. Yep, exactly.

And they're chasing a bitter, twisted figure, always feeling like they're one step behind him. And in this case, Chumsley, this evil man, or cat doll. He collapses a bridge to try and prevent that from catching him. But the thing is that their presence here, or maybe it's just his, again, his negative vibes, are causing the magic of the dollhouse to collapse,

which makes the world therein start to collapse. And there's a moment where Vera and Chumsley kind of save each other, right? Yeah, very sweet. And, yeah, it's very sweet. and they realize that that's, you know, like, Vera realizes the error of her ways. Chumsley realized the error of his ways. And then we all get sucked back into the dollhouse.

Hooray! Power of friendship and love. At this point, we, Gabby and the team, everybody's safe and alive, including Kakey, don't worry. Cookie Bobby shows back up. But that's still fine. That's ideal, actually. I mean, you have to bake a cake, so it's not that bad for a Kiki to get baked. Yeah.

performance for a cakey. And they, out from the top of the dollhouse, erupts a cat-shaped balloon like a dirigible. And they fly all the way back to Gigi's home, leaving Vera returned to human size. And Chumsley and the rest of her collectibles there. But you know what? Vera doesn't treat them as collectibles anymore.

No, she plays with her stuff, including the three Kitty Rangers who are still in. her home. They get a little dance. Meanwhile, you know, our heroes go back to Gigi's house and Gabby completes work on her greatest creation, a gift for her little sister. That's right, a dog-themed doll house. A dog house, if you will.

I won't. So that is the end. That's the tale of Gabby's dollhouse. Anything bad happened to anybody? No, everybody came out okay, right? I mean, and that's one of the things that I thought that I liked about this movie, it was not for me, was also it's like, yeah, they didn't feel the need to like make people in real danger, you know, or to be like, the world's going to end if we, da, da, da, like, and even, or they didn't have to punish chumsley or anything like that.

I like any kids movie. Yeah, they don't have to, like, slice off a paw. Exactly. Or, like, hurl him into a, like, trap him somewhere. I like any kid's movie that is about, um, that as much as I don't like the message of never grow up. up and always play with your toys. I do like the message of, let's give love to this person

rather than punishment. It's the whole spirited away thing, man. More movies should be like spirited away. We're already sliding into it like we're going down a hill of frosting. So let's get into final judgments. Is this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie, a movie kind of like,

as frequently happens, this is not easy to put into our categories. It doesn't fit our category. Our very not good category. that often don't work. But the thing is, we can't fucking change them. I know.

They were handed down on stone tablets. And if we don't play with those categories, the categories will go insane and take over the dollhouse, yeah. Well, what I want to say is, like, clearly, clearly not made for me, not intended for me,

should not have been watched by me. In fact that you did watch it means you're now on a watch list. Did you guys watch it with the interactive sing-along mode enabled? I didn't even know that was an option. Oh, yeah. I would have done it.

No, I would just like for me, for me, it's a bad, bad movie. I think actually for a kid, I, you know, I kind of like it. Honestly, for what it is, it has a lot of imagination. There's a lot of strange stuff going on. There's funny stuff around the edges where I'm like, that was a little weirder and funnier than it needed to be. It's not to the level that any adult is good to enjoy it. But, you know, bad bad for an adult

I'd say actually, I wouldn't mind it for a kid. There's not too many dirty jokes, right? No, other than like kiddie wagon as the license plate, I wouldn't say there really are any. Yeah. And cakey got bakey, I think. That's fine, right? It doesn't really mean anything.

You know, it's, I don't even think it's not like a getting baked joke. No, I mean, it's just like just that two words rhyme. And it does just show like a little like a little like a, Cupcake cats weirdly human-shaped butt cheeks Which I think is fine Like kids have butt cheeks Exactly if there's anything kids know about already

It is what butts look like They have them They're very interested in them And they think it's very funny And they think it's funny I'm gonna go with Dan and say like Again for me I did not enjoy watching it But as a kid's movie

I do kind of like it Because the message is mostly positive It's really energetic and upbeat It is not It felt to me like I was being drowned in candy But kids like that So I just don't.

This is not for me. Yeah, I mean, I think it helps that our antagonist character is at least somewhat fun. And yeah, I do like that all the cat designs are all totally different and kind of insane. So. Yeah. Yeah, I'll agree with you guys. We're all in agreement. It's what, kind of liked or not for us.

I think it's a movie we kind of liked for other people. For younger people, yeah. That's like my mom said when she saw Hedwig and the Angry years ago, this is for younger people is what she told me. The, I think it was a real refreshing thing to me. When I saw the, I saw the trailer for this before some other movie. It's probably bad guys too or something like that. And I immediate was like, oh, so Kristen Wigs playing the villain who's going to try to

like make money off the cats or something like that. But it was a really refreshing to be like, oh, no, she just likes cats. And she just needs to reconnect. with her childhood self, I guess, but, like, it's not her trying to misuse. She's not really a villain at all. No. She's coded as a villain as soon as she shows up,

and then she buys it. Yeah. And that's, you know, like, the meanest thing she does is, like, buying the dollhouse out from under a child who should, you know, who would more enjoy the dollhouse in its intended form. She just needs to, like, recalibrate her concept of toys, right, guys? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the movie.

Toys. Toys the movie. She's got to understand that it's, meant to be not enjoyable. It's supposed to be unpleasant. Mission accomplished. Was that why George W. Bush was on that aircraft carrier with the mission accomplished banner? We have managed to make toys.

It is a big movie with good people in it that is not enjoyable. We did it. It looks really fun, but it ain't. It looks cool. You'll think it's going to be fun. I don't know. what voice I'm doing now. We have managed to take grimness and bleakness and put a thin layer of whimsy on the top

to convince you that it will be fun, but it is not. It's going to pretend to have an anti-war message, but at the end, the good toys go to war, so who knows? But thematically, it still works because those action scenes are terrible. It does not make you want to be involved in them. You will be disappointed at the end that you don't get a really good view of good visual of the kind of octopus underwater toy that is dangerous at the end? You guys remember that, right?

There's some kind of killer toy or something that you barely get to see. Killer toys. If ever a movie was Miss Bogotten, it is toys. Max Fun Meetup Day is on Thursday, April 23rd. Max Funsters from all over are getting together to hang out and celebrate their favorite podcasts. Want to go and meet some friends who like similar stuff and care about the same things as you? Get to Maximumfun.org slash meetup to see where and when your local meetup is. Don't see one nearby?

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Two of the creators of Mission to Zix, your favorite improvised obsessively sound design sci-fi sitcom here on the Max Fun Network. And the news is, we're back! With an all-new miniseries set in the Zix universe, the young old DIRF Chronicles. Well, DIRF, find his own killer before it's too late. To find out how that question could possibly make sense, well, you just have to tune in. And as always, it's ambitious and labor-intensive to, frankly, absurd degree. Indeed.

So if you are looking for a little break from your... own galaxy, we would love for you to check it out. That's the Young Old Dirtr Chronicles. Search Mission to Zix, Z-Y-XX, and your podcast app. Or on Maximumfund.org. Keep it fresh. This podcast, The Flop House, is brought you in part by Squarespace. Oh.

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Jared Kay Anderson's creepy, cozy cryptid novel, Strange Animals, was called A Holy Captivating Tale of Magic and Nature by publishers weekly. In her five-star Goodreads review, fantasy legend Robin Hobb wrote. It's a story that stops to think. And Max Funn's own Justin McElroy wrote, Anderson has conceived of such a rich world

and such a textured mythology. In it, a crow undoes a man's death on a city street and gives him an acorn. After that, things get weird. That's Strange Animals by Jared K. Anderson. Find it from Ballantyne Books at your favorite bookstore. And we have a Jumbotron.

This is a message for future Dr. Matthew Coleman Stout. And it comes from Eric Stout. And Eric writes, Words cannot express how immensely proud I am of all your accomplishments. Hopefully hearing them from the peaches can convey it better. Throughout our childhood and even now, you have done everything at 110% and nothing less, be it guitar, baking, Lego, gunplah, or school.

I'm proud to call you my brother and wish you the best of luck, Dr. Very nice. We got a new doctor, everybody. Ooh, a doctor. A doctor. and not one of those wasteful doctors that just bounced around in their tardis. It's not helping anybody.

Wasteful. Well, congratulations, doctor. Doctor. Hey, Dan, before we move on, can I plug a couple of my things? Yeah, please do. I just got three things to plug. I've got my new comic book, Barbarian Behind Bars. It's on store shelves now unless it's sold out.

I got Harley Quinn from DC Comics. I'm still writing every month on comic book store shelves now. And if you want to know about how to write jokes, why not check on my book joke farming, how to write comedy and other nonsense, at the University of Chicago Press. While we record this, it is only $3.99 for the e-book version.

I don't know if that will still be going on when this episode comes out, but try it. Those are my plugs. And I would also like to do a brief plug. My wife has opened up a fitness studio in Sunset Park, Brooklyn. It's next to our bar minis.

This fitness studio is called Jiggle Studio. It is a movement-focused, size-inclusive, everybody-inclusive fitness studio. If you are not in Brooklyn, first off, if you're in Brooklyn, hey, you should come by and take a class. It's really fun. We now offer memberships and all kinds of cool things. But if you're not in Brooklyn and you would like to support or at least show some support to Jiggle and its message, we do now have an online merch store.

Just go to jigglestudio. That's P-R-I-N-T-F-U-L.m-E-Me. And we have some tank top, shirts, sweatshirt, all kinds of cool stuff. So you can show off, you know, what a cool person you are by picking up some jiggle merch. I forgot to ask Stuart.

Yeah. The extra cards, the extra cards that you have over there. Is that just to keep us guessing? No, I just printed off a lot and I was scrambling to get my notes down on the card so I didn't edit. I didn't take out the ones I didn't do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I wonder if he's just doing it so we don't know. We don't know how close we are Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. You know, it's like how, speaking of fitness, it's like how if I'm at yoga and I can't see the tiny clock up front,

it's kind of better because I don't know, like, where we are in the class. You can just lose yourself in the moment, you own it. This opportunity is the one shot at yoga, mom's spaghetti. I started taking hot yoga again, and it's been really great. It's been totally annihilating me. And there's been times where this last time,

there's a guy working out next to me and while I was like during one of the rest periods I'm like, you know, in child's pose just kind of like fighting for my life trying to survive and I look over and this dude is next to me doing fucking handstands and shit I'm like, what?

Yeah, people can get real strong doing it. Anyway, let's move on. We've gone down a cul-de-sac let's reverse the car, let's move on to letters. K-turn, K-turn, K-turn. Let's get out of there. Yeah, three-point turnabout. This letter's from Spencer last name withheld. For hire?

Yeah. It's Robert Eurek. The late Robert Eurek. Robert Ehrick acid. Time travel shows up. We just say things, you know? Doesn't matter. Hey, man.

It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter. Time travel shows up everywhere in film. Everywhere. Every movie. All movies are traveling forward into time at the rate of one second per second.

Guys, that was the joke I was going to make. Well, you should. It should have been faster. Hell. I guess I'd time traveled ahead and got to it. Shows up everywhere in film. Sometimes brilliantly, oftentimes not.

What are the best slash most clever uses of time travel and movies you kind of like? What are some bad, bad examples? What method of time travel do you find the most plausible? Keep on flopping. Spencer, last name withheld. I think I'm going to say one of the ones that I like the most, I really like

Christopher Nolan's movie Tenet because the time travel in it is so... Like you visit... Like, you're just like, yeah, you're going backwards now. You're not like jumping around. You're like, nope, time's... It feels the same to you.

It's just time is going. Backwards, baby. So when a car chases you, it chases you in reverse. Yes. That's... Man, I, like, I kind of love this stupid movie. It feels like... It grew on me.

I gotta say that. Like, it might still be my least favorite of his. I tend to like his movies, but seeing it when it was briefly re-released because it was like, let's take another shot at this since COVID had the first time. Seeing it in the theater where I was like forced to pay attention,

it was like big and loud. I'm like, okay, I know I'm not gonna follow this. Like, on that level, I'm enjoying what's going on. But even like not going to follow it. There's not that much to fall. I feel like, Christian Nolan has really, at times he makes movies, that seem more complicated than they are.

Like, interstellar is like that. Yeah. Where it's like, it's not really that complicated. But it makes you think it's more complicated than it is. It's basically a James Bond movie with some extra stuff in it. Yes, exactly. Which I don't hate. No, I like it.

If I went into it with that mindset, I think I probably would have enjoyed it. Not more, but I was expecting something more than I got. So maybe I'll see Tenet again someday. But I want two time travel movies that I think do it really well. And partly because they are low budget enough that they don't have, they're not special effectsie movies. are of course primer and time crimes, which are those great time travel movies.

Yeah. Where it's more about, it's less about the act of traveling through time and more about kind of like the effect of traveling through time, you know, or something like that. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to mention probably the first movie

that everyone thinks about with time travel these days. Time after time. Yeah. I said these days because I'm not like, I don't want to like to be like, the time machine and then you said time after time. But I said it as a joke. because I'm like, nobody thinks about that movie anymore.

No, still back to the future. It's just... Sure, sure, yeah. As, like, pure entertainment is so much fun. It's just, like, everything works in that movie. Works so well that you don't really think about how much of it is about not sleeping with your mom. That's my favorite joke in the TV show, Glow, is still Mark Maron's character being like, I wrote this script, but Hollywood would never make it because it's so fucked up.

It's about this guy who was back in time and his mom wants to fuck him, And they're like, uh, that was the number one movie in the country. But, uh, just as, yeah, just as pure, like, time travel entertainment. I love that as like very silly time travel. I love at the end of the Bill and Ted, uh, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure when they're like, uh, well, we'll just remember to come back and put the key. I love that. I feel like Bill and Ted does a better job of doing a real time travel movie than most other

movies, even though it's a comedy. And like, so we'll just leave it here. How we know. we'll just know to go back and have done it. Like, it's such a great way to handle that situation. But in terms of, like, plausibility, like, I, you know, I like the 12 Monkeys view of it where it's like, okay, well, you can't really change anything because it's already happened. I, you know, I like the L'IGAE view of it. Yes.

I like the Avengers end game view of it where it's like, well, we're not going to change the future. We're going to, like, split timelines because, you know, like, that makes more sense to me both of those things than, because, like, if there's real time travel. you know, there'd be so many holes in baby Hitler's cradle right now. You'd like to think so. Yeah. Who knows. You're not going to shoot a baby, Dan. You smother a baby.

Okay. But yeah, I mean, I don't really have, like, examples of, like, bad time travel, like, spring to mind. Okay. I think the thing that gets to me is when you see a movie where, so I like the movie frequency. Like, that's a good movie. But that movie does bad time travel stuff where it's like something will have. happened in the past and the future will

or the present will change instantly in real time, yeah. In real time when in reality it would have always been that way. So something where like, I think it's in that movie where a character like loses a finger or something in the past and then suddenly their finger like disappears in the present and they're like huh? And like that's not, that person would have

always lost that. There's a part where they like carve into a desk and they see it appearing. I remember. Exactly. Like that, it's a fun movie but that's not, that time travel would not work that way. It doesn't make any sense It's like waves, man. It implies that there's this, that there's this eternal present that the characters are always in, you know. Yeah.

But that movie's really more about dads and sons. So I'm, you know, I'll buy it, you know. It's not about science. Yeah. Any more thoughts before we move on? I would say also, in terms of time travel is most likely impossible. So there's part of me that kind of believes more. Except for the way we currently travel through time.

Exactly. Forward through time at the rate of one second for a second. I guess time is an illusion, they tell us, and it's all happening. And in the way we travel backwards in time using our memories and through the art of storytelling. Well, that's the thing is when I see a time travel movie that uses kind of a more mystical form of time travel, I'm like, okay, maybe you could do it that way because it's not really scientifically possible to physically go back to the past or physically to go into a future, which does not exist yet, you know. And even if those things do exist because time is a continuum and we're just traveling along it, our perception of reality to do. does not allow us to do those things. So sorry, time travel, you burn.

What about a time cop? Time cop has that really great part where he does those splits. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's real defined. But that's because he put the time into his workout. Thank you. Yeah.

Nate last name withheld. Bluh. Right. That was not a bleu to you, Nate. It was just about my... It wasn't that his last name was bleu. Yeah. It's pronounced by a vampire.

It's pronounced bergotsi, by the way. Okay. Legazzi. Nate writes, I realized in the past few years that I'm a big fan of what I think of as damp stories. I struggle to define damp,

but I know it when I see it. It's a vibe. Certainly the world should be physically damp. Things should be mildewy, paint should be peeling, but also the story should be about folks with waterlogged souls and societies that are falling apart

like wet bread. Some of my favorite damp fiction books are, The Sunkent Land Begins to Rise Again by M. John Harrison, Jeff Vandermere's Southern Reach Books, and recently Julia Armfield's books are Wives Under the Sea and Privates Rights. Film-wise, though, I need some recommendations. Tarkovsky's stalker is probably the ultimate damp film. Annihilation is pretty damp, damp, bladner is quite damp. Moist, yeah. I'm currently designing a damp video game, so if the peaches have any damp films, To recommend, I'd be grateful for the inspiration.

Damn grateful. Yeah, I mean, obviously, the wettest horror movies of all time. You're going to say Jaws. I'm going to say, no, no, no. Hellraiser 1 and 2. Those are the wettest horror movies. Everything's damp because it's covered in blood and sweat. Yeah, those are great.

Dagon's pretty damp. Dagon is super damp. That would be, that's perfect for that. I mean, it's a creature from the sea. It makes sense. Yeah, uh-huh. I mean, you mentioned Blade Runner. Alien is a movie that I like for the dampness

that shouldn't exist. The fact that they have that room where there's just chains and dripping water on a spaceship that shouldn't be there. But there is something very damp and gooey about that movie. If you've never seen

the element of crime, Lars von Trier's early movie, it's incredibly damp and kind of rotting away. And we mentioned, Dan, you mentioned 12 monkeys. Like 12 monkeys is not a wet movie. But I remember seeing that theaters

and being like, this is a really grimy, rotting world. It's an unpleasant world to be in. No, that's true. I think that that qualifies. If you're looking for like a goofy B movie, the Rucker Hauer action movie split second, takes place in a world that's basically like completely,

like partially flooded. Maybe I'm taking it too literally, because it has so much to do with water and eels, but I just watched a cure for wellness recently. It's got the literal dampness, but also kind of the, I don't know, vaguely love crafty and dampness you're looking for, I think. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I wonder if like, if dampness is different than like, yeah, it's different than like stickiness or gooiness or like, you know, that kind of wetness. Well, we don't need to worry about it. We don't. We can just move on. Because there's a difference between wetness and like when there's like a monster in a movie and it's just slathered and kind of like goo, like wet that way, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Let's move on to recommendations. Oh, damp Yankees. Also damp Yankees, the musical. That's about the game. The game should have been rained out, but they play it anyway. I was worried you were talking about the super group, and I'm like, I don't like Ted Nugent, though. Nobody does.

I'm not sure. A lot of people do, but I don't. Pardon me while I burp. And now moving on. Ted Nuget, though, is a great candy bar. Let's do recommendations, movies that four adults might be a better use of one's time. I've recently, speaking,

of adults and kids. I recently rewatched Time Bandits, and I was sort of amazed looking back at how much I loved that as a kid because I'm watching it as an adult. I'm like, God damn, this movie's weird. I mean, not just in like a bunch of weird stuff happens in it, but the fact, like, Audrey was in the room for the ending,

and I explained to her what happened at the end of that film, and she's like, what? Like, spoiler for a movie from 1981, But the film, you know, a movie that's at least sort of pitched for children. I think it was not necessarily intended as that at the time. But it's certainly like meant to be a movie for everyone to some degree. People who are young at heart. Yeah.

I watched that movie. I watched that movie recently. Wait, hold on. Let me finish the idea. Okay. It ends with the parents of the main character touching a piece of ultimate evil, exploding, you know, the father figure from another. time driving off and leaving the child alone, at which point a map of the universe gets folded up and

George Harrison plays. And that's the end. He's alone in the world. I recently watched that with my younger son for the first time and he liked it, but I think was weirded out by it. And the ending, certainly he was like, I didn't like the ending. He was like, I didn't think that the parents weren't that bad that they had to be destroyed at the end. No, man, he was all about it as a kid. But yeah, watching it yet, like, there's just like jokes in that I really loved this time around watching Ian Holm as Napoleon. Like he's watching Punchin Judy

and he's angry at anything that's not Punching Judy. He's just like, I just want to watch little things hitting each other because they make a whole, you know, like it's all these Napoleon short jokes of course. But he's like, I want to watch little things doing violence and backstage the stage manager is about to shoot himself

because he has nothing else. And then all of the. the little people like, you know, gods helpers, bandits run up. And it's like, oh, deliver it from my... It's just such a weird joke, but I thought it was so funny. Anyway. Also, I just love the idea of a time travel story

where they just have a giant map of the universe that somehow they can figure out and find where, like how to travel around through time. I think that's great. I'm going to recommend a movie that is... This one's a tough one. This is a tough one for you to watch, but this is tough as in it's hard to find.

I recently went to a screening of the Hank's Saloon documentary. This was directed by friend of the podcast, Ashley Atkinson's husband Leon Chase. And this is him filming the last few months of a somewhat legendary Brooklyn dive bar, Hank Saloon. and he captures kind of the history of Brooklyn as a borough and the history of that property and the various bars that inhabited that property and then takes a look at kind of the lifespan of this neighborhood bar. And there's a lot of interviews with, you know, former bartenders with some of the bar flies.

And I think it does a very good job of capturing kind of what makes a neighborhood bar special and the way that like a group of local weirdos can create this kind of interesting little community despite being surrounded by a neighborhood that is rapidly gentrifying and like all the characters being kind of ironed out of the neighborhood and the way that like incessant progress kind of does that and I think that there's a lot of neighborhood bars that kind of feel like Hanks but Hanks also felt like a little bit extra special and so I think it's a really fun documentary it was also,

I'm kind of a little too close to the material. Like a lot of those bar flies, I'm like, oh, man, I definitely got trapped talking to that guy before. But this is a movie that is currently, they did a couple screenings at the Nighthawk, and now I think they're doing like a little bit of a road show around some bars in Brooklyn, and hopefully it will make some festival appearances. But that's the Hanks Saloon documentary. And I was reminded on one of your model paintings. streams that our producer

Alex Smith played Hank Saloon at one point in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a show there. I remember seeing friends play there. Yeah. Yeah. My recommendation is a movie from my second favorite filmmaking duo. You guys know that if there's a filmmaking duo, I love above all others. It's the Coen Brothers. But if there's a second favorite that I love above most others,

except the Coen Brothers, it is Powell and Pressburger, the Archers. And this is a movie that I had not seen until recently, which is called the small back room. And it's a black and white movie. It's not their beautiful color that they're often known for. But it does star David Farrar and Kathleen Byron, who are favorites of theirs. They're also both in Black Narcissus, which is a movie I love. And it's a movie from 1949 that's set during World War II. And David Farrer plays a, he is a scientist who has a, has only one foot and the other foot is a tin prosthetic. And as a result of that, he is struggling

with feelings of inadequacy, with alcoholism, and he is being self-destructive and also destructive towards his love interest, Kathleen Byron, who's trying to stand by him. And at the same time, he's also trying to solve the problem of these kind of devices that are being dropped on England by the Nazis

that when you touch them, they explode, or you pick them up, they explode. How do you find a way to defuse these so they're no longer a danger? And it's super tense. The personal stuff is really good in it. The military stuff is really tense and really good in it.

it's a small-scale movie, but it just feels very suspenseful and very kind of meaningful. There's also funny parts. And I will say there's one part where it gets a little too,

he has like a deep, like a like needs desperately wants to drink type sequence that gets a little too literal in that there's, he's literally being squeezed out of a room by a giant bottle of whiskey and it's like, all right, well this is getting a little silly.

Sounds pretty cool though. It does sound, It's cool to watch and it looks and it's a Powell-Prasburger movie so it looks great. It looks beautiful. And so that's the small back room. I highly recommend it. Great. Well, let's take pity on Elliot's wife and wrap this up as quickly as possible now.

She thanks you and I thank you for her thanking you. And I thank Maximum Fun. Go to Maximum Fun.org. Check out all the other great shows on the network. Hey, Max Fun Drive's coming up soon. We're going to do three full episodes in a row for the drive. We're doing a thing. No minis during drive, all fools.

And we're doing a thing where we torture one another with movie picks for the group. So Stuart picked Exit to Eden, I believe. Enjoy it, so I guess. I picked Fear.com. Oh, no. And Elliot got real mean and picked 40 days and 40 nights. I feel like that's a crime.

I know. I was like, what's the movie that'll hurt Stewart the most? But I know he hates the most. Well, there could be that, that, that, that, home movie Stewart's parents not giving him a birthday

can't. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, no. It's crazy. Birthdays truly were the worst days, yeah.

So that'll be coming up soon in late April. But thank you to the network. Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer, Hank Saloon performer.

You can find him online as Howell Dottie doing streams and music and his own podcast. But for our podcast, the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalen.

Okay, let's get out of here so now I can go have fun with his family. What's your favorite big cat? Is it the tiger, the Puma? I mean, Tony the Tiger, probably, right? Because he's a friendly gay icon. That's true. I think he could pull up. off a neckerchief, Dan?

Yeah, I think so. I mean, the thing about Tony the Tiger is, he was out at a time when it was not easy for a cartoon tiger who is the pitchman for cereal to be out. I mean, snagglepost. Snaggleput? No, no. Snagglepus, it was like Liberace.

He was like, I can never come out publicly because of my female fans. They need to know they have a chance with me, you know. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Of artists' owned shows. Supported directly by you.