The Flop House - On Vacation

Episode Date: July 27, 2008

The movie minute is taking a summer vacation this week, but we don't want to leave you empty-handed, so enjoy this audio sketch.

An allotricid memory from summertime's past. I remember several summers ago spending quality time with my dad. He always made a point of doing father-son activities, so it was just like him when he responded to a flyer advertising a three-legged race in the park. Unfortunately, Dad had left his reading glasses at home that day, and we arrived to find not a three-legged race, but a three-legged racist. Yes, there he was sitting on a stool, because a chair with armrest would have cramped his third leg beneath the old oak tree in the center of the park. As we drew near the stream of racial epithets coming out of his mouth drove home faster than any thunderstorm could that we would not be enjoying a magical day of off-balance

running, but rather having a scarring and unpleasant day of scarring unpleasantness. You may ask yourself, why would a three-legged racist go through all the trouble of printing and distributing flyers? Well, that's precisely the question my father asked. And in between interjections about the dirtiness of Moroccans and the beady-larson's size of the Portuguese, he explained that perhaps lured by the promise of gawking at his third leg, seeds of racial intolerance were he planted in the minds of the attending children. Anyway, once we realized our mistake, I urged my father to leave immediately, but dad was very serious about our father's son time, and unwilling to give it up to

the formed white supremacist. So we stood there for eight hours, learning about the horish ways of she-bellgions and the legendary sloth of Papua Newgendians. While I tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the hideous tripod sprouting from his pelvis. Deadmire didn't talk much after that. He started drinking heavily and spending most of his time in the garage building bird house after bird house, even though our town was completely enclosed by a geodesic dome which kept it nearly 100% bird-free. As for me, I started a lifelong love affair with Tester's model blue. Still, that day in the park is my fondest summer memory, mainly because this lady fell

down and she wasn't wearing anything onto her skirt.