The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #117 - Seeking Justice

Episode Date: December 29, 2012

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 37:37 - The Original Peaches ring out 2012 and ring in the New Year with the man who has given us so much: Nicholas Flopolas Cage.37:38 - 40:10 - Final judgments40:11 - 57:57- Flop House Movie Mailbag57:58  - 1:06:20 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:06:21- 1:08:13 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Merry Cajemus and a floppy new year. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And over here, it's Ellie Kaelin. Uh, Bionos. Winner. So here. Coming off at odds of 10-1. Elliot Kaylen.

So this is the movie house where we review movies. No. And what movie did we review this time? We reviewed abduction. No. That was last. That was not last week. It was like three episodes ago.

That was two weeks ago. So thanks for knocking on the door of the movie house. You're welcome to enter now. You're mixing up so much. I don't know. I don't know. Let's see where this goes. I'm interested to see how this plays out.

Have a seat. I'll give you a plate full of hot, steepen movie nuggets. There's nothing in the rulebook that says he can't say the wrong name for the podcast. So this is what I told you would happen if we let Stewart take the reins. Just, just, just, just, Miraculous. It's loose upon the world. Yeah, the center, the Stewart counterhold. So this is what I told you would happen if we let Stewart take the rain just just Miraculously is on the world. Yeah, the center the Stewart County hold Stewart's watching stores metal. Stewart cannot hear the falconer. So I have a seat over there on the movie house couch All right, so so what what podcast is this if it's not the movie house?

So what podcast is this if it's not the movie house? The Flawpouse. The Flawpouse, you're right. Bad movie podcast. He's right, everybody. Where we watch a bad movie and then we discuss it. Let's not watch it. Let's reserve judgment. Maybe it's not a bad movie we watched.

Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert it was. Spoiler alert, we watched a movie. Hey guys, happy holidays. Hey. What is this? I just want to thank everybody. I want to thank everybody for coming out to our live screening that we had a little while ago. Because we're certainly not recording this before the live screening. Shut up dude. I'm sure it went wonderfully.

That part where Elliot did a handstand and when Stewart exposed himself to the audience, I weirded, but it felt right. Yeah, and when Dan fell asleep on stage and no one noticed, that was embarrassing. But anyway, the hell bell and Carl Gagino came out and kissed me right on the face. No, man. Pretty great. Both my fantasies and Elliot's fantasies coming true. But just for me, my fantasy of Elliot kissing somebody. he's coming true. But just for me. My fantasy of Ellie kissing somebody. I am married, Stuart.

Yeah, but wait. Okay, so we watched thank you. Thank you for coming out to our Brant Live show. That definitely has happened by the time we were taping this show. But before that, let's get to what this show is actually about. And we watched a night. Well, what do we do on this show, Dan? We watch a bad movie and then we discuss it Oh, you said that already

What's the name of this podcast? Usually it takes a little longer for things to break down, but it's fine. No, well what movie do we watch tonight? Are we kind of time loop? So we watched the movie Seeking Justice. Seeking Justice. Seeking Justice. Desperately Seeking Justice. Radar. Is playing out.

No way. Radar. Yes, it was. It was it was it rated are. It had a rape scene in it. Of course, it was rated are. OK. There was people got shot and guns.

I make a radar. I think maybe it's the severity of the scene, but I would guess yes. OK. So it's the severity of the scene, but I would guess yes. Okay. So it's very hard for me to imagine a PG 13 film that has a rape scene. We saw a partially shirtless Nicholas Cage. Partially sure. Like his reign of tiny shirt.

Yeah. No, we always saw like the top of his bosom. So should we talk about what happens in this one? He was built with a protractor. Okay. So what did we now, Dan, I believe we're celebrating a very specific So should we talk about what happens in this one? He was built with a protractor that way. So what did we do? Now, Dan, I believe we're celebrating very specific holiday with this movie.

We are celebrating cage-mas. Happy cage-mas, everybody. Oh, man. What goes into cage-mas? Well, it's the day we commemorate the birth of our savior, Nicholas Cage, who was born in a manger because there was no room left in the respectable acting house and it's he was no room left in hell so the cages watch the walk the earth yeah exactly and he was born in a cage he designed himself and what

happened was there were three wise men who showed up all of the Nicholas cage each crazier than the last each Each with different hairlines. Well, they gave him three gifts. They came bearing three gifts. Bad wigs, bad accents, and crazy hand motions. That's the source of cage missus power. Yeah, wait, his name is cage miss. Yeah, so wait.

Because you know, Jesus' name is not Christmas. What? Is that why we watched a movie with Nicholas cage in it? Cause it's cage miss. Mary cage miss. Did you get me a present? Start. I mean, I,

give me a minute. I got to go through Dan's shit. Ellen gave me a very nice cage miss present. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's a, it's a, uh, wig with a pronounced widow's peak. Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't see the relationship.

And, uh, Dan, Dan gave me bull g eyes. They make your eyes bulge out when you're yelling at stuff. Mary cage. I can play. And I gave you guys a really funny looking go team. Boo Dan made a hair joke. So we watched them with it called Seeking Justice. Daryn Nicholas Cage.

Daryn Nicholas Cage, January Jones, the unlikely named January Jones. And the even less likely named Guy Pierce. And yet all those names exist. The non-porn actor, Guy Pierce. And it's directed by Roger Dalton, a director of Donald Rogerson. Donald Rogerson? Yeah. No. I mean, it could- uh... and it's directed by roger dialsin uh... director of dot rogerson yeah no i mean it could be a little paranoid in the movie

but he had he directed a number of movies like cocktail and the remake of the getaway but not effects not effects and don't expect the deadly art of illusion don't they speak a lot of movies with that known as ever as to directed this and then they speak it really reminds you that all movies have directors, even the ones where you're like, oh, I never thought or cared about who directed that.

He is the very definition of a journeyman director. A man who is... He shoots each film on a different continent. A man who is directed several... That's the one where the guy jumps barges back and forth. But you wouldn't be like, oh, I got to see the new Roger Donaldson movie. Yeah, you never, you never, uh, ever do that.

Got that. That Roger Donaldson stamp. François Truffaut is not going to. He's not an O2. Not going to write a book. Truffaut's last Donaldson. I don't think Truffaut is writing any books. He's been dead for almost 30 years.

Well, 20 years, let's say 20 years. Just saying the Oter theory is not necessarily going to be applied to Mr. Donaldson. The Otter theory. So he's not an otter. The amendment otter theory, which is that otters are not a good vehicle for Christmas cheer. Happy Cage Miss everybody. So seeking justice, should we talk of it's a Roger Donaldson joint. Let's talk about what happens. Yeah, let's do it. Nicholas Cage is Will Gerard, a mild-mannered English teacher in the...

I don't believe it. In New Orleans, I wouldn't either. He has a gross grimy goatee and floppy hair. He looks like a pedophile. He's married to January Jones. He's married to January Jones. Who is 20 years younger than him? At best.

And she's like a noll in social light, right? right no she's a cello player and uh... they are happily in love which we know because we see them on a date where they go to a marty grott theme's night club because hey you live in new orlands what don't you get enough of marty grott everything's easy in the big easy mark as actually many things are hard they're still rebuilding from the hurricane i would guarantee what you just said Gumby am I right? Eat a big Stephen Bola Gumby

Some kind of stew made at a clay. I don't understand So anyway, he's a mile is a mask so he's a mile he wears a mask In one scene so Nicholas Cage is a mild-minute English teacher He also likes to play chess and there's a kid in his class who's who's acting up who he tries to give some guidance to that kid is Totally unimportant to the plot. These are the kids are so And the weather you're giving him weight and this enough and his name is Edwin and he's, and he's also friends with the school principal, right? Or a system principal? He's friends with the principal, Harold Perino,

who you may remember from last, where he yelled Waltha lot. Yeah, I mean, he's in a bunch of shit. Like he's in Oz and, yeah, he's a fine actor. I'm just saying, most people know him from last, where he yelled Waltha lot. Okay. Now, Nicholas Cage is a way playing chess when January Jones's wife is, and there's no pretty way to say this,

raped by a man wearing snake skin boots. Now, it's... We're not saying that all of the men who wear snake skin boots are rapists. We're just saying probably. And that if you know some of the snake skin boots or you own snake skin boots... Lock up your vagina or well what and some of the thing I can say that that one of them yeah or lock yourself in a

room if you own snake skin boots because you're a danger uh... so lichless cage goes you have like a mr. hide episode put those things on go run and while just go to town with your snake, get boots and you're evil, because they go hand in hand. So Nicholas Cage finds her at the hospital. I mean, he's told she's at the hospital. It's not like he was visiting there and he bumped into her. I mean, yeah.

And he is distraught. She's all, she's been battered. She's been traumatized. Yeah, he's distraught. And by the way, in sensitive locking up for Jaina Jokes aside, this is a terrible thing to hang just stupid, just stupid, real or or really the movie really goes too far in doing that to jane rejones and leaving over the really battered face yeah she looks

horrible and she's like well i don't think the movie earned this like fifteen minutes in at best if that it's really quick in the movie uh... and while he's in the waiting room all by himself in his long some guy pierced walks up to him and all the i-pairs which i think you will get here's the lesson in this movie anyone with no hair is evil except his except for one character

born out by uh... my experience in life uh... okay a lot of people in this world like sleuth or mr. clean uh... what's his Montauliams? Yeah, a lot of evil people. The Triumber, Michael Pablo, Dr. Keith Abel, Michael Chicklis, all evil. Um, Christopher Lloyd in the Adam Stanley movies, not a real life. Uh, that Dr. Freeze guy from that Batman movie. Dr. Freeze, He went back and got his doctorate.

Yeah. Mr. Freeze lives in Florida. Call me Stanley Freeze. So anyway, Dr. and Mrs. Freeze, we'd like to invite you to. So Bald Guy Pierce says to him, hey, look, we know the guy who did this. They never explain how they know the guy who did this. They never explained how they know the guy who did this. I represent a group that seeks to take care of justice. We're seeking justice.

We're seeking justice. We're as Dan put it, seeking just ice. We got everything we need for the party. Oh, no, the ice. Yeah, it's on the e-vite. Yeah, they already got their soul race. They break up in the water invite. Yeah, they already got their soul race up in. Yeah, they're waters and things.

Seeing just ice. And he says, we're part of this group. We will kill this guy for you, but it's implied you're going to owe us a favor, but that we tracked down men who have committed crimes when the police failed. And Nicholas Gage is like, no, no, no. Well, I don't know. And Gidepier says, all right. I'm going gonna give you some

totally complicated directions to say whether you're in on this death call to involves a candy purchase if you want to join this vigilante murder group go to the vetting machine and buy two candy bars then then the specific time of candy the duality of it is uh is telling oh yes man's nature good and evil you know one candy bar he might just be hungry but he's either really hungry or he's really hungry for justice it's the forever bar right yeah it's called the forever bar I don't know if that's a real candy bar or not it's possible no candy maker wanted to be associated with murder and vigilant justice the forever part from debirz Teller you'd give it candy all over again

So Nicholas Cage makes a decision and he goes to the break room, I guess and he stands in front of the vending machine and thinks about buying this candy for so long and they're really trying to build suspense out of a man buying candy for a vending machine 5 to 10 minutes of milking this candy. There's at least three flashbacks to like, his battered wife. Two minutes ago in the movie when he saw his battered wife. And I remember that I love my wife and she got raped. I gotta get these candy bars. I mean, I don't wanna kill those guys.

They almost go as far as to flash back to Guy Pears telling him to buy the candy bars. They don't do that when you're waiting for it. So eventually after an agonizing hour, he buys these candy bars and he's contacted by Guy Pierce. All right, we'll take care of it. And some random guy is sent to shoot snake skin boots in the head. And does it? Yeah. Case closed. Case closed. End of story, right? Wrong. Because six months later, after January, Jones seems to have recovered remarkably well from the trauma of her violent attack

uh... it seems that this group wants nicklaus cage to repay the favor bump bump bump and they get a deal with the devil if you will if you will if the devil is bald guy peers i mean i think you play pretty good by that and guy peers gets Pierce gets in touch with Nicholas Cage through some of the most elaborate chicaneery. Like for instance, telling that he's at Nicholas Cage's at a bar with his wife, January Jones, they're playing pool. Like husband and wife's do. He gets a phone call from Guy Pierce that says,

it's me, tell your wife it's your sister on the phone. Go to a, go outside. Now go to this pharmacy around, this drugstore around the corner, I guess it's a bodega. Go to this pharmacy around this drug store around the corner against a bodega go to spodega buy some gum then go through the back door it goes to the back door in this car with guy pierce in it yeah why did you just tell him over the phone like I pierce has a sideline in snacking session I think I pierce I think the point of this movie is that this vigilante monster gets a commission

from all the candy sales so they fund the operation so for a while to be anything he might just be a salesman for forever bars that has a really creative sales campaign which involves staging rapes and then you know offering vigilante justice to the distraught husbands now he tells guy he tells Nicholas Cage we need you to kill this no we need you to go to the zoo no actually he doesn't even tell him that. He gives him a letter addressed to Santa Claus. And he says, go to the zoo tomorrow at 415. And mail this letter at the mailbox.

Then when he gets the zoo, he gets a phone call. It says, you're holding the letter, open it. He opens it, and there's a picture of a woman and a couple of little girls and a CD-looking guy, and a phone number. It says, all right, memorize the phone number, and those pictures, buy a ticket to the zoo, then call me. And he calls him, says, okay, you're going to follow that woman and her daughters. They're at the zoo. And if you see the guy in the picture,

you have to call us. And he doesn't, he doesn't see the guy in the picture in city watches a show about elephants. Where they introduce it, come on, we're the introduce elephants and tell everyone their age and weight Which is the rudest thing you can do come on the lady elephants and they'll remember that Elephant joke all right, so he doesn't see him But eventually he does long story short Nicholas Cage is told to kill this guy. He's told this guy is a pedophile Yeah, we're gonna seek justice you murder him because you owe us because we

killed the man and the tax or but you you're glossing over the fact that he he's convinced to kill this man by the implicit threat to his wife january jones which is spelled out literally by uh... people breaking into his house a couple times and rearranging the the magnet of the matter of the magnets on his fridge to say the word choose Yeah, so you're love for your wife. I like to think the January Jones was changing those letters She's trying to remind herself to choose something yeah choose life choose a job

Etc. Is that train spotting? Yeah It's OK. It's as true now as it was then. So he pushes some turd off a bridge. Yeah, we got some. He takes a bus to an overpass, and the pedophile shows up with a bicycle. And Nicholas Cage says, hey, I got to talk to you.

The guy throws his bike at Nicholas Cage. There's a brief struggle. And the guy falls off the overpass into traffic and gets killed Uh-oh Nicholas Cage didn't murder him, but he's dead now Yeah, and he gets credit for it with the organization. That's good Yeah, and then Turned in for you know like prizes or yeah coffee credit can be turned in for you know like prizes or yeah coffee

Pogs gives certificates for local retailers I'll take the pogs over those gives certificates really because they're worthless pogs have a lot more it's the personal touch Personal I don't know about that. I mean the collectors. I know also. We should have mentioned that there's a code phrase for the organization which is the hungry rabbit jumps why would we mention that because i don't know it's stupid so people with the phrase the hungry rabbit jumps is said like a billion times in the movie

well it sticks with the after the movie it yeah the haunts your dreams when is the guy uh... it was cage kills this man or kinder he's a man well the guy. It's I at best it's accidental man's daughter. He's he's pulled in by the cops by two cops because they have a camera on part of the overpass to show that Nicholas Cage was there when the man was killed but the camera that was pointed at the underpass that could have proved his innocence. The tape is missing. No. But they also found on the phone of the guy who was killed video of Nicholas Cage at the zoo seems like this guy was following the cage.

What was that all about? And they learned that his name was different than the name that he was told. And also that the man who died was an investigative reporter. Not a man. Well, no, we don't know that. I mean, he could have been a pedophile. He could have been a pedophile. We know that he was an investigator for a porter We know he's an investigator reporter. We learn later. He's got a boat. I mean Yeah, all signs point to not pedophile

He could have investigated And you know what kids are like when you get them on a boat Now one of now there's a local local police lieutenant sergeant and our member higher ranking president durgen lieutenant durgen we never learned his first time even when he's interviewed on television on the news is hi-ran just as lieutenant durgen you think his first name was durgen dirty durgen durgen that's been so hard to grow up as a kid with the name durgen well it's the south so they find out this dude like that they are going to fight fights this

organization jurgen comes in and says to him gives him a test or dissociation test and the last answer is the hunger rabbit jumps jurgen's part of the group he unlocks nicklaus cages handcuffs and says you gotta get out of here because those are guys are going to try to kill you and nicklaus cage leaves sure enough the bad guys chase him just handcuffs and say, so you've got to get out of here because those are guys are going to try to kill you. Yeah.

And Nicholas Cage leaves sure enough the bad guys chase him and there's an exciting chase across I think the same highway overpass we saw earlier because there's not that many locations in this movie. You say exciting ironically, but it is actually the most exciting part of the movie. Well yeah, a guy gets run over by a car. It's close. Like Nicholas Cage almost gets killed by by Jack and I think truck. Yeah.

You know, for act. That jet, the part where this short truck with a backloaded full of stuff, like swings around and almost hits Nicholas Cage, and it does look like Nicholas Cage or his stuntman was almost smacked in the face. It's seemingly exciting for a few seconds. It looks like it gives him a little tap on the behind. Well, like, the truck is sexually harassing. Yeah, it's like, yeah, good job, dude.

Sweet maybe across this cage. Hey, back that sugar up here, Nick Cage. So yeah, he escapes from the back, guys. So anyway, he escapes from the army of bald vigilantes who are after him. Army of two, basically three. And I forgot to mention that he also goes to a funeral for the reporter who died and finds out that

he was a real reporter who is dead now. There's not really, he doesn't learn much while he's there actually. And he knows that the reporter was researching the organization that he's tied to. Yeah, that he's been spreading tales about a vigilante organization, but his research was hidden. No, tales from the dark side perhaps, but Test the dark side of the movie. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. That's one with Buster Point Dexter, right? Yeah. Okay. I think it's Sonic and Tails. Okay, so anyway long story short, Nicholas Cage decides to turn the tables on his erstwhile kid captors. Kid captors? They want to catch that kid. And he does some investment.

They want to bag that bird. They want to bag that bird, catch that kid, and cage that cage, all those things. And he does some amateur snooping, snooping around, and finds out that the, he finds the reporter's notes basically. Like he goes to the reporter's desk, he finds a receipt that leads him to a gas station

where he bribes his way into learning that the reporter had a boat, and that's very easy to break in the to the boat storage, and he opens up a thing, a drawer on the boat, and there's a locked box inside and inside the box or his notes. And the DB, and the DB, and the DB,

and the DB, and the DB, and the DB, and the DBD inside that has some evidence that other people are involved in this organization. and a dvd and a side that has some evidence that other people are involved in this organization and uh... he also explains what the hugg it explains what the phrase the hungry rabbit jumps means but it's so stupid it's not worth getting into

yet it's like a across the something yeah so nicklaus caged sets up a trap to trap the trappers and tells Guy Pierce. Looks like the trappers are the ones who are about to get trapped. It looks like this trapper is a keeper. I like that to you.

It looks like Nicholas Cage is about to put his enemies in a K. Oh wait. Hold on. Yeah, that's not right. I'm going to give you one more. Give it a try. It's like the bad guys are about to be served Okay, no give me one more try Maybe the bald guys are gonna wish they weren't in a cage

No, I think cage is a dead end. It's leading you down the wrong way. Okay. Well, all right I'll write something up put it up on the Facebook page or some shit So anyway, he's like anyway he tells guy peers go to whatever that stadium is that they have there yes i'm both a monster truck and you know there's a monster truck rally buy ticket go to that seat then sit there then come find me go to the bathroom then buy a hot dog like it gives him the same kind of bullshit instructions and this was literally for me my favorite part of the movie because Nickless cage was not only getting back at him He was getting back in him in the pettiest way possible by putting him through the dumbest hoops Like I wish it just like bend down in time on tire shoe. Okay, tie it again. All right look underneath that garbage can

There's nothing there go back over that way. Okay, look in here open that window throw cigarette out of it You're gonna have to go buy a cigarette throw cigarette out okay turn around I'm right here but instead they they decided they're gonna swap stuff uh Nicholas Cage has evidence and amical break up yeah it's gonna be an amicable breakup between between mild man Nicholas Cage and Guy Pierce the head of the vigilante group oh and it turns out also that we skipped a part that his friends the principal of the school is also involved in this vigilante. Oh, no, you were never suspected by the fact that he's in recognizable face, he's in the movie for no other reason. Oh, what a surprise. Oh, doctor. And then a guy shows up and is going to try to kill Nicholas Cage and goes, you dirty

pedophile, and Nicholas Cage throws them off guard by telling them the, the, him, the hunger rabbit thing. And it turns out, let's just tell this, this group gets rid of the people who are causing it trouble. They labeled them pedophiles and haven't killed. Yeah. So anyway, Guy Pearce says, we won't make this swap here. We've both got evidence to see the other one needs.

I have the evidence that proves your innocence you have the evidence about my vigilante cult you know you have my way they have his wife to also the kidnap january jones she's so boring ever got then literally he goes we want to hear will go to the abandoned mall next door and they go to the subanon mall and it looks like a zombie attack went through it there's like papers and shit all over the floors It's there's police tape across everything

Otherwise, it looks like a normal mall. Yeah, it looks like they wanted into like they just finished shooting dawn of the dead or something like that there any who Things go bad fast guy Pierce has a gun to January Jones's head a gun to Nicholas Cage's head with his henchman That is and he says I can't let you guys go you know too much. It's an old fashioned Mexican standoff. It's a migrant worker standoff. I'm sorry. No, there's no Mexican standoff aspect to it. Yeah, I mean, there's just a bunch of bald guys, right? I didn't. And Nicholas cages friends is there and goes, wait, no, we're not killing innocent people. Shoots. One bald guy. The bad guy. He gets. No, she shoots another bald guy. He gets shot. When I the bad guy other ball gets shot when i said bad guy

did i get pierce nicklaus cage fight it out a little bit very if i balled and just as nick literally pull the thing where guy pierce is about to kill nicklaus cage

you hear a gunshot and then you see that guy pierce is the one who's gotten shot because january jones who earlier in the movie bought a gun. A thing that I remember seeing for the first time in Raiders of the Lost Ark, what is that? What? 40 years ago?

What a gun? No, it's just like the idea like the like- Oh, old man Dan gather around and tell you stories about Raiders of the Lost Ark. No, like the idea like- It's 30 years ago. 30 years ago, but like you hear a gunshot and then like, oh. And then the bad guy falls over.

Yeah, because someone else shot him. And it's and we didn't enough it is Mary and Ravenwood who has killed the bad guy in this movie too, right? Yeah. What? No, it turns out January, John shot him. You got him right inside for two seconds. They go to a.

It would be exciting Mary and Raven the shoot up in this movie. So Nicholas Cage has like a like that's what happened after, you know, like her next to the video, too, she just churned into like a freelance adventure. freelance saving people at the last minute by shooting the bad guy when you think the good guy's gonna get shot specialist. That's my job. I think you're gonna accidentally shoot a lot of good guys in that profession. Yeah, let's come with the territory

You know, you take the badge and take the risk I'll take a grand that's my feet what like a hundred grand cany-bar like a grand piano The grand canyon that's not owned by anyone. It's owned by all-American a DVD copy of the of the movie grand canyon Bar a piano and a DVD and a canyon by all american the of the movie grand canyon and the bar a piano and and canyon so

everything's fine everything's fine in the end nicklaus cage goes to one of the other reporters from the reporters wake and handsome as notes and say here is notes who's scratching the service someone should look into this and the and the other reporters walks away and he goes hey the hungry rabbit jumps right and then gives him a fly look as he takes the escalator back up to his office so it's like you can't get out of fucking mirror like it's like Nicholas cages mid oh shit

when the credits roll seeking justice justice must be sought. Oh, well, it's just cannot be bought. See, good. See, get out. See, get out. See, get out. See, get justice. See, get out of there. Justice was our young girl. Did you know the world was evil? Justice was our young girl. A girl in trouble and in something. Like, just a scotter girl. Wait.

Just a scot of good. Boy. Just a scot of good. We didn't start the justice. I should say we didn't seek the justice. So, uh, yeah, so, anti-balled pro candy. And also pro phone. Yeah, pro or con cell phone. In the movie,

everything bad happens when you don't have access to your phone. And only pictures on your phone can be used to communicate at certain times there's a lot of or service evidence of either maldoing or the kidnapping of a wife or non-no to it yeah it saves you in the end the phone but I think that's what I was going to grab bells said when he invented it yeah I mean it wasn't all bad We got to see some monster trucks I like the shots of nollins. No, yeah, this it was took me back to the time we watched 12 rounds during John Cena It was like a 12 rounds union. I

Enjoyed the brief Chasing on the highway You know, the guy Pierce was in the movie. I'm here to do it, and I like him. Nicholas Cage literally slept walks through the movie. I think he was sleeping with his eyes open through most of the movie. I like the... I like the... I like the...

I like the... I like the one scene where he... He looked like mold on his face. The scene where he goes to see his wife in the hospital and he, you know, he's obviously moved and he needs, he asked the nurses and everybody to leave. And that's the one moment where he says, y'all, like he is the actors, like, this is the time I really need to make sure everybody understands that I'm from New Orleans by saying y'all.

There's this. Wasn't he in New Orleans and that movie was at Xandelae? And Zandelae. Xandelae. And of course, with Judge Reinhold. Yeah, but in Xandelae's got this crazy over the top accent. Of course, but you're right,

Nicholas Cage has a full tomography of New Orleans movies now, although whereas Bad Lieutenant Port of Colton, New Orleans is a genuinely great crazy movie. This is a really generic boring. It's a movie that's so generic that it times it feels like you're watching a template that's handed to people to for making movies where it's like,

feel in the details yourself. Have a good time, you know, but they just didn't do that. It's just generic. I think my favorite stuff in this movie, like we talked about this while we're watching it there's a lot of scenes in this movie that it just feels like the director or the writer or someone is like this is the sort of scene that's in the thriller so we need to put it in this movie whether or not it makes sense and that is exemplified i think at its best

with a scene where Nicholas Cage, to make the decision to kill this guy, has to buy two of these forever bars. Right, because a lot of thriller movies have scenes where people buy candy for vending machines. But they milk the idea of him. They milk chocolate the idea of him. They're buying these two bars from this vending machine so much and it's like Guy Pierce had talked to him just in moments before. Like Nicholas Cage could have said like, you know what, kill that motherfucker.

But like it's like no, like okay, if you're interested in killing this guy, go and buy two of this type of candy bars. And so he goes and he puts in the first dollar, he buys a candy bar, he looks around, he sees the guy looking at him, he sees the security guard looking at him, he gets all creeped out, and then he's like, he pushes in the second dollar,

he puts in the first two numbers that would go, he's like, one, one, and then pauses before he enters the six that buys the brand. Because that's one of the damn most in with like a exploding sound. Yeah, he pushes the plush. Why the fuck did Guy Pierce tell him that he had to go buy two of these candy bars? Because that's the signal.

We've talked about that. That's the signal and he's also candy bar salesman. But that's like that I think that that exemplifies the time of movie this is where it's just like. Two candy bars twice the commission and Candy bars, you know where else he might see a lot of bars in a prison. Oh High-five boom. Yeah, you're right guys. I'm wrong No, but you're right. There's a lot of scenes where characters do what what a character in a movie thriller might do but what what a character in a movie thriller might do, but it doesn't even make sense necessarily for that to do that in this movie. Well, it's like Nicholas Cage to get information about

the reporter goes to the reporter's wake. And I guess he picks up the reporter's ID badge, which he never really uses. He goes to the reporter's desk and I guess maybe he needs the ID badge to get open the desk. I don't know but he when he's talking to the other reporters to get information from them he doesn't really get any information he doesn't already have like there's no point to that scene except to show that there are other reporters in New Orleans I guess or you point out the scene where he's like ransacking the reporters desk and one of the reporters co-workers interacts with him and then afterwards that co-workers suspicious because fucking Nicholas

Cage looks like a crazy person and she goes to like her co-workers. She goes to security. She's like, hey, there's somebody going through Dead Guy's desk and that's the last we hear and then and then they look at the security camera. She goes he was there a minute ago Oh, my god. Two decades ago Cut to Nicholas Cage is just walking down the street. Oh, you have the homeless ghost. Like why bother to have someone see him and catch, almost catch him if he's gonna get away that easily. Like it's so lazy.

It's a lazy move. Maybe it's the show that he's just like that. He's so talented at deception. But he's an English teacher. It's also one of those movies where a character is supposed to be an every man who's taken out of his element, but he is instantly in his element. Like I was waiting for the moment

which revealed Nicholas Cage is a sleeper agent, brainwashed to think he's an English teacher, but actually he's like a super assassin or something. Well, we've already talked about like, well, like, it's good night. I mean, the long cage good night. The long, it's good cage. With, with, the cage,

with the candy bar thing, we've already talked about, let it go. bar thing, we've already talked about how. Let it go. No, but we've already talked about how. Sometimes you've got to still talk to this candy. They go through all this, like, ring a roll to, like, connect up with Cage. And we talked about the, it adds a little bit of sweetness

to what would otherwise be a sour situation. High five. We lost talking about the gum thing, where it's just like, OK, go outside, take this phone phone call now go into the other room buy some gum and then come back out Like why add that Some gum step in the middle of everything yeah, it's totally unnecessary like the whole the whole there's a show game Dude a lot of padding in this movie the whole game premise of this movie seems in this movie. The whole game. The premise of this movie seems weirdly suspect. Like, you understand the idea of like a stranger on a train situation

where it's like, all right, Chris, strangers on a crane. Yes, that like two guys who don't go usually work on a train. You don't usually work with each other. It's a new guy at a construction site. No, but the strangers of the situation where strangers on a phrase of crane i'll kill your christmas you'll kill my person christcross

there's no motive like that the the thing is with like this whole secret society thing like there's no motive for anyone if they form a secret society they can just kill with impunity because they have no connection to these murders anyway they don't need to like well the other but here's here's the other things is it's a secret society made up of bald henchman who are thugs who kill people yeah and it's something that uh... on met birds excellent wet site uh... cockhead care van he talks about how to get up cockhead care for in dot blocks what i can he has that how there are a lot of movies were ordinary guys blackmailed

into committing a crime but he's a nap dad it has no experience at it in the bad guy who blackmail's him could just do it himself much easier super criminal yeah and so in this one it's like guy peers has a bunch of thugs with him there doesn't need to be any ill-try mode of other than like this crazy idea of justice why doesn't he in his thugs just do it? Yeah, it's just making it harder for themselves if they're getting random people to do the murders Because then they've got these wild cards running around. Yeah, and then they got to kill them off

They got a frame them for murder and kill a chain letter. It never ends. It's like a it's like a kid's bad It's a bad vigilante pyramid scheme and also also, like, what's the need for deception? Because anytime there's any kind of actual evidence that there's wrongdoing, they're so well connected that like they can just brush it all under the... That's true. They have connections in the police. Who can just run us over to the car and talk to a guy peers. Like why does he have to buy the fucking pretend like he's in the store for a reason?

Because nobody gives a shit. Because if they tell the police, the police the police is like oh, yeah sure a hungry rabbit jumps, dude It's true. I was kind of waiting for the moan Nicholas Cage brings this information to the president and the president says the hungry rabbit jumps to Congress and everyone in Congress is like yeah, that's right They're finger on their nose and then everyone in America watching this on television goes yep hungry rabbit jumps All right, like everyone is in Jump The hungry rabbit jumps I think that we've come to the point where we make our final judgments on this film whether it's a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of liked

What do you say Elliot? I will say it's a bad bad movie because it just never reaches the craziness Necessary for a good bad movie even though it does have guy peers telling the close cage There's a mailbox at the zoo As if that's a as if that's like a scary thing But it's I would say I would say bad, bad. Not as bad as we've seen, certainly, but not, doesn't rise to good, bad, and I didn't kind of like it. What do you say, Stu, Rat? Yeah, I'll agree with you.

I mean, there's moments that are fun to talk about, and, you know, I had a great time watching it with my two pals over here. You know what, if I'm watching it with Dan and Stu, I'll just give pals. Uh, you, Lulu, and, oh, that's three pals. And me, right? And me? Yeah, and Ellie, I guess, that's three pounds me right? Yeah, I'm an alien, I guess that's three pounds. I mean, the big thing is anytime you have Nicholas Cage

in a movie, you're really hoping you get a crazy cage. Oh, yeah, not like this, like kind of the sad drive angry 3D. Nicholas Cage. Well, like the Bangkok dangerous Nicholas Cage. Yeah, he's just kind of a man, a mannequin, you know, like I want a crazy cage. I want a spirit of engines. Well, that's why if you're if you are thinking about watching,

uh, seeking justice, don't go see bad lieutenant, Port of Cal New Orleans, which is crazy. You're crazy. You're a local. Moly. I told craziness made by a good director. Yeah, that's true. Direct made by a good director who is also crazy. Donald Rodgerson. Well here's the like don't rush it all I'm saying. I will give it a margin oh right it are. I'll give it a I'll give this one a marginal good bad just because like I don't know there's some part part of me like sees the movie and it triggers an nostalgic memory of better stupid thrillers from the late 80s or the 90s. It does feel like a throwback movie.

And I kind of enjoy that. That's what I would say about that. If you're tired of watching like, I don't know, like what kind of movie would you compare this to? Like Nick of Time or something like that? Or a... Sure, showgirls. No, it or something like that or a sure showgirls like so yeah, like showgirls.

Or like I think you mentioned the net earlier Stewart that's fxt. Like if you're tired of watching the net or like murder at 1600, then go ahead and watch seeking justice. Yeah. That's in 57. Yeah, faster 57 absolute 57. Yeah, fast, 57 absolute power. Oh, yeah.

So we're moving on. So like sexual thrillers. Yeah, Jurassic Park of this bad movie podcast closure. The flop has movie mailbag, everyone. Okay, that's cool. What do we do here? And this one is- I believe we read some letters, give some answers, have some feelings, let's be friends. Vlogpiles mailbag time. It's time for pals to read letters from pals who send letters to pals at the Vlogpiles. Thank you. This letter is titled- It's Attention Cool Uncle Stu. Okay.

Wow, you're already old enough to be an uncle. It's used to be. It used to be cool. Dropouts to still hangs out at the high school. Care of the bastard son of Professor Frank and the crypt keeper, crypt keeper, or maybe Dan McCoy. What a real tongue twister on. Yeah, I'm sorry. Long time first time, dudes. He's a lot of time to speak in my language. I was having some minor problems streaming the Ask Cancer episode.

And finally myself was a little bit of heaven. I would prefer this, like I'd prefer this not be referred to as the January Jones rape episode. Let's call them movies by their names, not by the most offensive thing about them. Found myself with the brief interruption in the show while you're all debating the merits of and gender bias relating to front and rear orifices. During the pause, I started thinking to myself, the plural of orifices probably going to be cleverly mistated in a moment, maybe followed by a laugh-mup about it being a character from Olympus after Darker-something. Not to be disappointed, Dan Alms almost

immediately stuttered the not-word orifices. And I was delighted to see that after a brief reference to Ancient Greece by Elliott of course the riffing veered unexpectedly toward the plot of the matrix. Hopefully that wasn't buried too deeply in pop culture references for the simple folk at the AV club. Oh well hold for Stuart to say burn or something similar but totally awesome. Um, wait, no, fuck shit. Give me a second. So you're unprepared. It's like before we're in them, they're done.

The AV Club has been very good to us. Yeah, they've been very nice to us. I don't know why the unnecessary attack on the AV Club. They've been very nice to us. Seriously. Just as they're known, the avid vegetarian club, right? That's what it's about. Yeah. Seriously, just wanted to say you guys were hilarious. known the avid vegetarian glove right that's what it's about yeah seriously just

wanted to say you guys are hilarious I'm going to debt it to you for several excellent movie recommendations and we'll claim color one work study distraction narrowly edging out the duck universe page on Wikipedia Edward last name withheld p.s. comic book authors dro rule obnoxious sports trivial arms ombudsman rule free David Kaelin. No, he will remain in jail. He will remain in dungeon with an iron mask over his face that keeps him from seeing football. Yeah, but yeah, some trouble reading that one, Danny, okay?

What's going on? Look, it's, were you bitten by a snake or something? Right on the tongue. Why are you bitten by a snake or something? Right on the tongue. Why are you French kissing a snake, damn? Their tongues are not satisfying. They're very thin and whiffled. They're hard to cold. Yeah. I think I think it's a well documented that I have a trouble reading

letters off of my iPad. Did you, were you trying to steal a bowl from the mouth of a snake? So you just grabbed that with your mouth and you got bit. I think that's the only time the bowls are interacted with in the world is when snakes kill them. Yeah. Otherwise, they're loners. So this is this is titled. Well, thanks for the letter. What was his name last night? Thanks for the letter last guy I wrote in. We're glad you enjoyed the show and that it keeps you away from the Duck Universe page. This is titled Total Recall through the Flop House Synopsis. Oh, dear Floppers.

I've only been listening to the podcast for about a year. I'm not sure why it took me so long to become a regular. Hey, man, I still haven't read a Proust and that's been around for like a hundred years or something. Proust, come on. I've grown to love and may rely on Elliot Synopsis of each film. You see as a bad movie lover myself, I've seen quite a few of these entries. The problem is I usually watch them with a head full of bullet bourbon to ease the pain. I don't remember the endings due to mild drunkenness or falling asleep after a long day.

Thanks for filling me on the endings to In Time, corner of the barbarian, season of the witch, and Red Riding Hood. I look forward to being reminded of the endings of Solomon Cain, the Raven, and maybe even John Carpenter's the Ward, which I'm watching right now. Man, I wish I could remember the ending of Space jail, which I know Stewart recommended a few weeks back. Also, the realization of this Stewart ending, too. Also the realizations. It's a great ending too. Also the realization

of these tours. So I doubt that you're out. Jiggle Hyde Theory has been revisiting college conversations with Stuart. Twist. Where we discussed how KMFDM pretty much sucked, but we're kind of awesome. Only this time we're talking to the more famous one of the two. Keep it up, Jens. Jim Strayer. Last name, not without. Whoa. And what's weird is I talked to him in person the other day. And he did. Imagine they wrote the fly-pouse. No, he didn't. It was KMFDM. It's a, it's a like a rock band. I don't know them. Did you rock and roll music? Did you do the industrials? Industible. Like, like like the nine inch nails.

Oh, like those nails you buy at hardware stores. Yeah. So that was a that was a flop house fan letter from a real flop house friend. Yeah, I don't know. But you guys do sometimes flop flop house fans become friends. And vice versa. Oh, that rarely happens. This is titled.

That was a good twist by the way. Real I'm not shy. Yeah, we all have a pretty stuff. Yeah, turned out he was dead the whole time or something. This is titled Will Our Prayers Be Finally Answered Dear Flops Sensation's given the fact that Disney now owns the rights to most Marvel properties. Yeah, tell me about it. And the fact that the very ambitious cross-over Super Hill movie The, was a huge box office hit. Basically, all Disney needs to buy an out of Nintendo and Ninja Turtles, and they'll have my whole childhood. Now they have Star Wars also. We finally get the Duck Tales slash How are the Duck Mashup movie? We've craved for so long.

How are the Duck Tales? Maybe. If If so what storyline would Emmy award winning Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin and golden demon winning Stewart I knew that's unofficial Craft for this dream project. Thanks for the laughs catch you on the flop side Stefan laughs famed with held PS is the Dark Knight Rises being the most famous Jewish Scotsman that's screwed me up. Wait, whoa, just because he's stingy is Jewish? That is offensive. Incredibly offensive. There is a Jewish community in Scotland though. Still totally offensive. Yeah. It's funny you mentioned that because I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do that because I don't know what the Jewish name no no duck

a wits is a Jewish name. We were doing a lot of main voice earlier. So how are the duck tails? All I know is involved duck boobs or something. There's gonna be a scene where how the duck gives Huey doing Louis their first taste of booze because like Uncle Donald tells Howard to watch them or something. Well, Uncle Donald goes down through a cave in a mummy's tomb or something. What else would happen? Obviously, Howard's gonna have to end up in Duckburg, but that could just be another town on the planet he lives on. That's easy. Yeah, come on. The real question is how does Beverly Howard the Duck's girlfriend get there? Yeah. And magic at a spell fucking cast a riddle

magic fucking. And I assume she sleeps with scrooge at some point. Of course she does. To get into his will. Yeah, and to get the number one done. I think that flat hard galom cold is like, of course he's going to be in it. Hey, Beverly, I'm, you know, I'm just as good as Howard. And you know that Howard's going to accidentally get into the Gisma Duck armor. It's gonna be amazing. Now how we get Dark Wing into this? Uh, easily. You write him into the script.

Well, that does seem pretty easy. Think about it. Don't know why I didn't think of that. Secret. I broke Dan, I broke Dan. I'm really more interested in trying to get this duct tails duct dynasty crossover off the ground Tails dynasty, oh that's sad. Well not duct tails and dynasty. That would do that's different. Okay, so who shot J.R. Duck That's Dallas. I didn't watch that shit. So what's next? This is from Pat last name with hell

He says, his e-mails titled full of shame and loathing. What's about you, Dan? It says, I have two unfortunate stories that seem appropriate to relate to those unfortunate souls. Yeah, because this is what the storyhouse? Who have actually paid for and owned the movies that have been discussed on this podcast. Oh, okay. I'd like to hear that. The first story begins. The first story begins. The first hear that. The first story begins. Are the making of them? Okay, baby. Yeah, yeah, the producers.

The first story begins on our normal night, most liked tonight. Well, you don't know. I mean, this night's fucking weird. This night's different from all the other nights. And, normally, we sit up or we recline. Tonight, we only recline. Normally, we leavened or unleavened bread.

Tonight, only unleavened bread. Usually, on a regular night, we can dip any number of times, but tonight we dip a certain number of times. And I don't remember the other one. Thank you, our Jewish friend. Anyway, my father and I were quite bored. So we decided it would be a good idea

to make a trip to the store to pick up a movie. We narrowed down our choice to the comedy genre and we set out to find a suitable movie. As we looked through the shelves, we could not find any movie. That was too reliking. Then, like a voice from the heavens, a bolt of lightning from the sky, our eyes landed upon it. The beloved classic from the noted oturs, Friedberg and Setser, meet the Spartans. We picked up our fine, paid and left to go laugh so hard that it would retroactively avoid award meet the Spartans the Oscar for Best Movie Ever. For most laughing. Suffice it to say. Little

that the other movie was made with a strange non-uclidean geometry, they would drive them insane. When the movie ended, we looked at each other and tried to convince ourselves that we would happen better off taking our money and giving it to someone to stab us in the eyes many, many times. I could have told you that. My second story is unfortunately just as bad as I have gotten older. We forgot we had seen Meet the Spartans,

and we rented it again. As I have gotten older, my family is realized the best Christmas gifts to purchase for me are DVDs. So one Christmas, my grandmother hands me a present that is obviously a DVD of some sort. As I've overjoyed you to open it. To the package over. Wondering what treasures might be inside, perhaps a blue ray of my favorite film.

Pod what did my wandering eyes, a light? Which entry from the Criterion's collection would be inside? You're very close. Beneath the thin wrap-in. My mind began to go through the mini possibilities that waited underneath the wrapping paper to my horror as I ripped open the final piece of wrapping paper my eyes landed on the one movie I was not expecting castle freak the love guru I've been proceeded to explain to my grandfather the grandmother rather that this DVD should be burned immediately like one of the creatures

from the day it's still your grandmother just just say thank you. Come on. Then burn it later. And then comes a twist in the story that not even M. Night Shyamwant could have seen coming. The next Christmas comes from her out. Grandma never bought you. And once again, my grandma has purchased me what appears to be DVD. I look at it and we'll have to go to the last year's nightmare

as I began to open the gift. What came next is when the biggest shop is in my entire life. The gift is another copy of the love. Except a deluxe version with special features. She know you liked it so much. You're great. I've been a long discussion. My grandfather explained to her that she should probably stop paying me presents for the future. Okay, that is ungrateful. What a bird. Ungrateful. Sure, we can't all get great DVDs as presents.

Like how from my birthday, Stuart gave me a copy of Young Ninestein. But still. This reminds me of like, I genuinely like- Is that a better blue Valentine, dude? Those were all the movies that the fucking cast they've had.

Oh, weird. So like, I genuinely like, uh, I, what? I genuinely like I What I genuinely like this is one of the like saddest things in my mind go Seriously getting a bad DVD as a gift You know saddest things in your mind. You have lived a cushy life my friends Like I remember reading oh Amazon reviews of something where I Was reading an Amazon review of like a microphone that you

plug into to use for a karaoke. Okay. Like video games. Sorry. You're sorry. Check out. Yeah. Wait, hold on.

And there's a review of this. I was probably busy having sex or something. Where the Amazon review of this where this woman, this grandmother, talks about how like, she meant to buy her grand son a one of those like, speakers that you can talk into while you're playing like Call of Duty or some bullsh**. Yeah, so you can pound people. Yeah, exactly. And call duty or some bullshed. Yes, you can pound people. Yeah, exactly. And the review of this is so sad,

like where she talks about how her grants unopened this and was disappointed because it wasn't the right thing. And it's like, oh, grandma didn't understand. And I felt like my heart broke. That's awful. Reading this Amazon review, like it's just like, come on.

It's no good getting old, you know. She's trying her hardest. This woman is trying her hardest. She's trying to bring you joy. Sure, she failed, but she's old. She doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know what she's doing. Like, for her, all video game speakers

are the same fucking thing, you know? Who gives a shit? And the words grandma didn't understand and are the most sad words you could read on the internet. I don't well maybe they're among the sad It's sad enough that it is stuck with me even though I was neither the person who received this gift Wonder question. Did you buy the microphone? I did buy that because I wanted a microphone for Carey. So I understood. So funny.

I hope her review brought down the average rating of that microphone because she didn't understand. Well, look, I'm just going to say this. Relatives are going to give you bad gifts. It just happens. You say, thank you. You return it and you get something else. Yeah, for credit. Yeah, this is our fucking public service announcement to our listeners.

Say thank you to your elderly relatives. There was a time recently when I won't get into the details. They won't be around that much longer. I'll just change the details a little bit. Yeah, I think like they know everything there is about microphones from video games. I'm not much of an actor. Sure I've been on TV a couple times. But I received a gift. You may know him as Doodle von Tainz.

I received a gift not too long ago, a couple years ago, from a close relative that was the least thoughtful gift I think I've ever received from anyone maybe and this is from someone a very close relative someone who should know better and I gave the best damn acting job of my life in pretending that I was really happy to receive this terrible gift and not like insulted to the core so if I can do it someone is not a very good actor than anybody can do it so what we're saying is all of our listeners and jerks.

Not all of them, just most of them. And us too. Yeah, suck it up guys, come on. Seriously though, come on. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. Seriously though, come on. Come on.

So we're in. Anyway, thanks for listening. And then we'll be off on the run. Yeah, Dan, why did you give us that little less? Well, there were more of it, we're running along. So I can't show. OK. But were more of it running along. So I can. Okay. Okay. Um, but anyway, thanks for writing in.

We appreciate it. Thanks for listening. Stay golden. Yeah. Even though you're an asshole, you're not an asshole on one thing. Your decision to listen to the flop. I'm sure he's not an asshole in many things. Yeah.

I mean, if that one thing, if anything, he's maybe, maybe two things, if anything, his fatal flaw is being too honest. And really, if you're going to have a flaw, that's one of the best ones. He's opening up in front of Flawhouse Nation. I'm just really impressed by grandma's double burn there. I'd like to believe that the second one was a deliberate slam. The second DVD was like, oh, he was,

he was ungrateful the first time, how he's getting this again. Fuck me? No, fuck you. And the cram on me. Oh, grandma, that can be grandma. Grandma didn't understand. Yeah, right. So anyway, no crime will go unpunished.

Before she sticks like a stokeener, she takes out her cigarette and puts it down on his arm. Yeah. The hungry rabbit jumps seven pounds Seven meows, so what are we now Dan? That they fuck cat themed musical. Yeah So yeah, what do we do now Dan? Now it's the part we go to sleep or something No now's the part of the podcast where we recommend a movie that we actually enjoyed in contrast to the

shit that we just shed on. Okay, why would first off I'd like to recommend all the other great podcasts on the All Things Comedy podcast network. Like what Stewart. Oh man let me come up with some walking the room. Let's not forget minivan man. Yeah minivan man, Min, Modern Warning Podcast, Ari, Shiffier, Skeptic Tank, the bone zone, that's a new one. Baron, Von, something. No, that's great. Long shot, yeah, there's a silhouette of them. Long shot.

There's a lot of things. Go to allthingscomedy.com for all of your comedy needs. Yeah, all things that are comedy are there. Literally all of the things. Or all the things that are there are comedy. I think that's what it means. Or maybe it's a comedy version of the all thing,

the Viking meeting house, where they would democratically decide how the Vikings were gonna be governed, the all thing. Thanks for putting a punctuation point on that. But, so what do we do now, Dan? No, well now I guess is when we talk about a film

that we liked that, uh, I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna take the ball and this one dudes. Okay, balls in your court, run with it. Run with it. Drive down the court. I think you guys all know that I like moves. Dominate the paint, yeah. So, ha, sound like it.

Let me describe the movie to you and tell, you tell me if it sounds awesome. Okay, this better not be one of the three There's a teacher, okay, and this teacher turns himself invisible And it drives him crazy. He kills a guy with a submarine saying which he jumps on a guy's head and smashes it What some kind of non-visible maniac It's actually called the invisible me. invisible man called the unseeable crazy guy That I don't think that encapsulates what the movies about because he's also a teacher

Wait, I was Crazy guy like maniac makes him sound more like a teacher No, it doesn't and then he shoots this other invisible guy like a fashion at the end Wait, what spoiler alert? Oh come on you know you're going to see another invisible guy with a shag in the end. Wait, what? Spoiler alert. Oh, come on. You know you're going to see another invisible guy get killed when you go see the invisible maniac. So... Invisible maniac. Or you can watch, uh, I think it's called invisible, the Chronicles of Brian Knight.

Which is another movie that a guy turns invisible. It's the sequel to the movie, Mandroid. So that's your... that's your opinion. Or I don't know, go fucking watch circuitry man or something shit. I don't know. So your recommendation is invisible maniac, one of your old standbys or circuitry man or some shit. Go watch split second with Rucker Howard.

Where he plays the... Where he plays the... where he plays the... I think it's serious. Stuart is like HBO at two in the morning just playing in your head all the time. Well, I just watched some alien knockoff shit like one second. So the second's great is that's the one where Rugger Howard

plays the detective, the hardboiled detective, who's addicted to chocolate. That's true, yeah. So I just watched all the man versus the hardboiled detective, who's addicted to chocolate. Sure, yeah. So watch it. I just watched all the man versus the demonic toys or something. I remember that nervous before. I'm not saying. Just watch Stephen King's The Langley or something. I'm not saying I don't love split second star.

I'm like, yeah, I'm just saying you're gonna recommend it. Recommend it with some conviction. I think it's great, man. Just watch fucking life force is something Random movies coming at a Stewart I was struggling I feel like Stewart just looks through the TV guide beforehand and he goes I'll just say him just Romaniac and then a bunch of these Spies lies and naked thighs. That's what I recommend. What is that? I don't know what you said it like we knew about it. You said it is if we were all gonna get that and then laugh at it.

It's a TV movie from the 90s. About what? It's like a weird like spy comedy. What's the TV movie where Tiffany Amber Thieson like loses her memory or something or someone gets killed and she needs to get revenge? She's in a hot tub at one point. Hot tub revenge machine. I think that's what it is. It's a hot tub power. She's a man droidin' that one.

So I've already done my regularization in this whole. Hot to your turn, Dan. Oh Stuart, you've done more than enough. If you recommended like 18 movies So I think about what to recommend. I'm gonna recommend a movie directed by Roger Dunlinson who directed tonight's film Which I already forgot we watch seeking just so you're gonna remember you're gonna recommend Dante's and Dante's inferno, right? Roger Dante's peak was that was a directed a little movie called The Bank Job with Jason Statham. If you want a nice, low-key, gritty, heist film starring your friend in mind, Jason Statham.

Yeah, that dude's jacked. Then The Bank Job is a very enjoyable just stripped down heist film. They stripped down. It's like a naked heist film. Yeah. It's like sexy beast. Oh yeah, it's like a swimming. Yeah. So that's what the spy work. The bank job, huh? Yeah, the bank job. You're sticking with that one. Yeah. Okay. I haven't seen a lot of movies lately. But when I saw that I did enjoy, I didn't, that, it's from 1910. It's from 1910.

It was a... It was a... It was a... It was a... It was a... It was a... It's from the Earth to the bank job. But I recently watched a movie I had.

So I kind of surprised I'd never seen before, which was Reds, with Warren Beatty, that Warren Beatty also directed, which I actually enjoyed a lot. And it's a movie that it's about communists. Well, yeah, it's a movie about the early, early 20th century kind of socialist communist intelligentsia in America and their relationship with the Russian Revolution and specifically reporter John Reed, who was an American radical reporter who went to Russia and I witnessed the revolution firsthand and then tried to get involved in it and became disillusioned with it. And it stars him and Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson and it's this big epic of a type

that Hollywood doesn't quite do anymore the same way. And in some ways it's this very old-fashioned epic romance set on a historical scale and loosely based on a true story and in some ways it's a very kind of risky avant-garde movie in that he peppers the movie with real interviews with the actual people who are there at the time and then intersperses that with film scenes and sometimes has the audio from one bleed into the other. There are a couple of scenes that he does in a very interesting kind of super short hands

to get an idea across. And for a 3R movie, it moves pretty well. It drags a little bit at times, but it moves really well. And it's a good old-fashioned movie that was made in the 80s, so it's still in color and all that stuff so you don't have to worry about that and if you ever want to see being their author Jersey Kuzinsky in a movie he's in it as the Soviet minister Zenoviov. So munchies. So munchies. So munchies. No reds. So reds I would recommend. You're not recommending munchies. Or munchies.

And if we had more time I would talk about how Reds does a few things that I wish Lincoln had done, but we don't have time, so you'll just have to ponder that. Well, like interviews with people who are actually there. Well, that's one of the things I wish they could have done, but they can't. But like, Are you interviews with the vampire? Yeah. Well, just ways, exactly like that, Dan.

Ways in terms of making the, making the characters more characters than just impersonations of real historical figures, but also it does what Lincoln does well and a lot of it's just intermixing the ideas of a time with the events of a time in a dramatic way. It's a movie about the ideas of how society can be reorganized and how that works or doesn't work.

But there's also like a romance and adventure scenes and things like that. So it's like, you're talking about Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter again? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is the last, uh, the last lockout. What is this? Wait, of 2012. We probably should have done like our best of 2012's or something like that. Well, we'll do that in 2013. Okay, we'll do that in 2013. Yeah, you can't really take the flavor of a year and tell your outside it. You know what I mean? Much like an enchilada. It's very hard to take the flavor of an enchilada to

your outside of the enchilada. So you can eat it. If you're inside of it, you're way out of an enchilada. You're more terrified. You're more like worried about suffocating the inside of it. Deliciously terrified. It's what's called an enchilada. Well, I meant not even have dignified it. You wake up. The thing is you wake up, all you remember is going into the parking garage and the mall and feeling a bump on the back of your head. When you wake up, you're inside a giant enchilada. And Mexican jigsaw is out there. Would you like to play a game?

You have to eat your way out of this enchilada in five minutes or eat your own legs and your, it's called a El Sao. It's racist. Anyway, for the flop ass. No one that note, yeah, I've been still or well into it. I've been Dan McCoy. And as much as I try to change, I'm still Elliot Kaelin. So tune into the movie house. No, wait, no.

So wrong. So wrong. Wait Wait is that how we're signing off now? I'm everyone. Alright so what what are we doing? I think Dan has to start. Do you play fast? Yeah. Who could? You're going to give us the count. I'm going to give us the count fund count in three. Not for your jokes. Two.