The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #118 - Total Recall

Episode Date: January 12, 2013

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 42:19 - Hey, Len Wiseman's never made a bad action film starring his wife Kate Beckensale, right? Right?42:20 - 45:14 - Final judgments45:15 - 47:30 - Plugs47:31 - 57:19 - The only helpful edition of the Flop House Movie Mailbag57:2-  - 1:04:00 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:04:01- 1:05:48 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

On this episode we discussed the remake of Total Recall, a film that everyone Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. Hey guys, Dan McCoy. Hey, Dan McCoy. And not even letting you finish. You said you wanted to finish early. That's true, let's speed up. Okay, mailbag. Let's wait some letters. The mailbag. Let's do let's speed up. Okay mailbag Let's wait some letters recommendations. Let's go

So you were Dan McEvoy. Yeah, I'm Stuart Wellington of course. Who does that leave me? I believe it leaves me as Elliot Kaylen and this is the flop I was yeah first flop house of 2013 oh Cracken star the Mayans were wrong God. They were all God guys the Mayans were wrong, God, they were all God. I mean, guys, the Mayans were wrong, guys. They probably see the end of the flop house in the end in December 2012. No. But that was just their flop house calendar coming to a natural end. Yeah.

Turns out the flop house continues in 2013. Take that Mayans, you jerks. 2012 was slashed to death by Jason Voorhe. Turns out that turns out maybe the Mayans just thought, hey, you know what, our calendar covers a couple millennia, we can stop here. We'll make the next calendar sometime in the next 600 years. I'm sure no one will assume that this means that the world is coming to an end. And we will also not be completely wiped out by conquistadors in this time.

Definitely. Alien-Gong-Esa-Doors? Oh, just regular conquistadors. I mean, there are kind of like aliens to them though, right with their advanced technology and animals. Yeah, okay, so speaking of advanced technology. It is exactly what are the sicklaric set about magic. Anyway, so what are we watch? We watched the movie called recall total as you would say if you were a conquist 2012 the new version of total recall not the beloved old Paul Verhoeven version where Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots a million people but the new version with Colin Farrell where a million people get million people get killed but many of them are killed by robots.

Do we have to preface this review with the statement that we all love total recall the relationship? Do we love it? I mean, I do. It's a movie I have a mixed relationship with. I don't, I enjoy it, but I don't love it. The same way I love certain other things like Robocop.

Yeah. But I like it more than say like big drop big, drum little China, which other people love that I don't care for. I love big, small, little China. More than Total Recall. But I love Total Recall more than most stupid action films. It still has a bit of that Paul Veroven flavor. The thing about like Starship Troopers or Robocop.

Well, the thing about Total Recall is, it is a bad movie, the original. Okay. It's really fun. There's a lot of memorable stuff in it. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. You will have fun.

But there are a lot of people now who are like, no, it's a really good, like, funny movie. And I think at this point, I can tell the difference between a movie that's goofy on purpose and a movie where there's some jokes in it, but like, it's not a satire in the same way that Paul Verhoeven's other science fiction movies are. Yeah, it is a, it's not. It's a satire to that degree. But I mean, it same way that Paul Verhoeven's other science fiction movies are. Yeah, it is a satire to that degree, but I mean it is still a Paul Verhoeven movie.

But goofiness is intentional. No, I don't know how crappy it is. It's a super goofball crap fest at times, but it's still enjoyable. Well, I mean, what's goofy about a Schwarzenegger's eyes bugging out like Roger Rabbit. And then he's totally fine after the air comes. The part where the's inside, man. There's a lot of, there's a lot of. I think that was in the novel, right?

There's a lot of things that I think are supposed to be cool or scary, but they're goofy, like Quato, for instance. That was both cool and scary. Okay. But anyway, but that's the old door recall, which I think we can all admit we enjoy. Yeah, it has a place in our hearts. Okay, Stuart loves it.

I fucking love that. I like it and Dan hates it. Now, wait a little time. I like it. I watch this recall multiple times every year, I think. I think I've seen that movie multiple times. Every Christmas. Every year.

Yeah, you gather the fucking Wellington family around the new log. He watches it every night of Hanukkah. Yeah, of course. Like it says in the Tomwood you and you notice something different each time. You don't that's the thing about total recall. There's no layers to it. There's tons of layers. So new total You watch new total recall. Yeah, total recall to electric total recall. A Lou. Okay. Wait, but it wasn't a sequel, right? It was not a sequel, but here's the thing about it. It was a remake. It's just an out and out remake. What's the story? Should we talk about like the differences or talk about the story for? I think let's start with the story first,

but the thing I'll mention is there are a lot of moments in the movie that really only work as references to the original movie, and they're a little too glaring for me, and we'll get into that later, but it's what I would like to call the Prometheus effect. Bump bump bump, bump. TM. TM, copyright, rights reserved, all rights intended

throughout the universe. So release, start paying them for, any form of technology created now or in the future. Yeah, really start paying it forward. Yeah, really start contributing to charities. That's what I mean. I think you should explain the Prometheus effect. You just left that out there.

Well, look, you can get to it. You just made a bunch of sound effects. You can laugh at it. And then you drop it. Good point. To me, the premieres effect is a movie that is a remake of a previous movie, where scenes in it work more because they reference scenes

in the earlier version of the movie than because they work on their own. Like in premieres, this is something that I've talked about on the Flava's Facebook page for all those people who aren't members of our Facebook group, where there were scenes in the movie that I enjoyed and I was never sure to enjoy this because it's genuinely a good scene or because it reminds me so much of this scene in Alien when it was done better. And Tori call is not good enough for me to worry about that conflict, but there are moments

in it like that should be like in joke references to the previous version if you want to do that, but there's scenes that playoff of stuff in the first movie more than they actually seem to have a reason to exist in this movie. Yeah, and let's make it clear too that you're right Elliott. This is definitely like a now-and-out remake because it is it is not like say tim Burton's uh... well

uh... factory which went back to the original book trawler the track factory and included things that one more johnny dot but it did include things that actually exist in the book that will walk on the track factory to talk have wears this movie like the original short story we can remember it for you wholesale is very different by Philip K penis yes

very different from the original teller recall and This movie is much more like the movie than the story or it's similar to how Tim Burton's Plan of the apes was a Basically an out and out remake of plan of the apes whereas rise the plan of the apes Was kind of a new way to tell that story that had references to the older movies right But you didn't need to know those references to even give a shit about those moments in the movie like that was a more successful version of this I think yeah

What we're saying is there is a three-breasted prostitute. Oh, there's a three-bester prostitute There's a there's a woman in a yellow coat who says she's gonna be there for two weeks like they basically we kept waiting for the johnny cab moment when johnny cab would show up or they get your ass to Mars all that stuff yeah a quaddo he wasn't in there but uh... so here you you banny who knows let's see what the potty yeah no that we're concerned that's there's none of that. We're considering this. None of that, sir.

But it's still kept waiting for, consider this a divorce. I said it like a million times. So here's the plot. And it would be much more appropriate in this film where the Sharon Stone character from the earlier film, as you pointed out, was combined with a Michael Ironside character. Which is not a bad idea. Which is beautiful, Like those two beings.

Like they had together the babe that would come from that union. Or the hunk. Come on. Imagine the offspring of Sharon Stone and Michael Ironside. If you do. I just imagine that creature has delicious smelling breath. The future. It would still be.

I imagine that it's wonderful. It would still be a person. It's not like they would make a mutant. They're a man and a woman. They make a human baby. No, Sharon Stone is going to go into a transporter that has a little bit of my gliren sight. And then we should get something other side.

Horrible. Oh, horrifying. But does she have just the head and arm of my glider side? Or is it in here DNA? And she's turning into an iron stone. Yeah, it's one of the cancer medical. Or a brundle fly thing. Yeah, iron stone, sure.

Michelle, iron stone. We got it. Michelle. That's because to make it female. Why does she not get to keep her own first name? Michonne Ironsdon, we got a show. That's pretty good name. So that's the plot of the story.

So the new tutorial recall, here's the basic story. OK, we are in a world where most of the earth has been poisoned by a war of some kind. Sounds right. You'd think it'd be radiation, but no, it's like poison gas or something like that. And there's really only two countries left on earth the United British Federation in the UK and because great brain is such a world power right now. They can't even make sense. They can't even make the case. It was the other is they can't make the case

that it was far away enough from other countries that it that it existed. And maybe just you know they did rule the the earth at one point. Damn. No, I understand, but right now, I mean, like, yeah, it would make more sense if you were doing your thing, where it's just like, okay, they were isolated enough. Like Greenland was suddenly a world problem. Yeah, that's true.

Because the other country is Australia, or as it's now known, the colony. But it's so, they never are really clear on, is the colony, a colony of the United British Federation Are they two separate countries or is it is one like a state a client state of the other one is one like who's the government They never make it clear and but and this means that all they do at the end But but then that can't seems to contradict the bad guys evil plot Well, that's the the colony, but so the colony is where all the workers live.

It's the poor place. And United British Federation is where all the rich stuff is. And how do they get the workers from Australia all the way to England to commute to their daily jobs? How would they do that? There's only one, there's no, there's only one way to do it. You can't do it any other way, but to have a tunnel through the earth with one elevator that holds like 60 people, it feels like 60 people at a time and it goes from Australia to the to Britain in like five minutes, six minutes. Yeah, I don't mean, yeah, it's like the demon drop at Cedar Point.

I mean, it doesn't seem like the tower of terror. Yeah, it certainly doesn't seem longer than any subway ride apparently. It seems much shorter than most subway rides. And now, keeping in mind that you do get extra speed by going through the earth, I guess, because you hit all the power-ups. But it's one of these things that's kind of a neat science fiction idea until you start thinking about it and you're like, wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense. It seems completely unnecessary.

Why don't they just get a job and wear the fuck they're at? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's faster to go through the center of the earth and tell you start thinking about having to build that tunnel through the center of the earth. It makes a lot more sense than having a colony on Mars, for instance. It does not make more sense than that. But if they have like center of the Earth technology, it seems like they could build a fucking rocket jet that'll take you.

Well, it's just, I mean, they have the technology to go through planets, not to go between planets. Or maybe even the technology to, I don't know, suck up all the fucking poison gas around the rest of the world. You would think that the trillions, if not quadrillions of dollars that were spent first boring a tunnel through the earth. Getting Bruce Willis and code, a drill a hole through the fucking plan. Exactly. Then building the elevator mechanism and then the maintenance of it because you've got,

oh man. That thing shuts down, like in the middle of the earth. People got to climb down there. Yeah, that's the only way you got to walk out. And have like really like shielded like ice suits. That's hundreds of miles too. OK, let's take this idea and run with it. Shielded ice suits, Dan.

Let's have like like, like with giant ice crystals on it. Like ice pirates would wear? Yeah, it's like those, you know, like those glasses that have like water in the middle of them. So you freeze. What are you talking about? Look at like two layers. There's like a layer of middle of them, so you freeze and then I'm gonna- What are you talking about? What? They've got like two layers, there's like a layer of liquid inside.

Okay. You freeze the head. Either Dan is on the cutting edge of drinking technology. Yeah, what are you doing? He is a madman. I've got Sharper Image over here. She got Skymall. Check out a McCoy or Schlemmer over here.

Okay, so- I'm not gonna cut you guys in on my ice suit profits. So, yes, they could have put those resources towards deep poisoning the rest of the world. Instead, they built the elevator that goes through the core of the earth. Here's the thing. We already live in a world where some countries are

poorer than other countries. And workers come from the poor countries to the rich countries and like send money back. They don't commute every day. And the idea behind the movie is that- But what if they could, Elliot? That I guess they would, by not save them money, but in rent, I guess.

But the whole idea is that there's so little livable space on the earth that these are the only two places people can live and they're running out of livable space. So. You can either live in like weird Bladeron or land or weird like minority report. Yeah, Brimley's basically minority report, Irobat and Australia's Bladeron. Yeah, Britain is basically minority report, I robot and Australia is Blade Runner.

Yeah. Yeah. So Colin Farrell, our hero whose name is Dougie, he is a worker in a police robot factory. That's the other thing. They have both. They have both the robot cops. They have both copse they have both the robot cop they have both human police and robot police because they couldn't decide which is which they're both which to go with they're both equally crappy in the world of this movie there are more does not protect them except when it needs to

yeah except for when the movie needs it to end the robot police are just like people but robots to the point that at l'm just gonna give it away at the end of the movie colin feral has a fist fight with a robot and the robot is doing like karate moves on it just grab his head and crush it which is robot is karate pro-grabbing and then conferral totally and totally fucking general grievous all of our with his fucking heart with his bare hands rips off the robot's chest plate which seems like a screw malfunction at that

point the problem is a tiny screw probably built it wrong yeah on purpose he knew it and then and then rips out the robot's heart okay so Colin Farrell has a dream where he's being kidnapped by some kind of police forces and Jessica Beale is with him and they get shot through the hand. They're holding hands in a bullet goes through both hands at once. He wakes up. Nope. He's married to Kate Beckinsale who looks almost identical to Jessica Beale in this movie. That's terrible.

He's fantastic. And he works at a robot cop factory. It's a horrible one. He's got a horrible life. He's in the future. He works at a robot cop factory and he's married to Kate Beckinsale. I mean, I'm pretty sweet. the whole world is so big in future. He works at a robot cop factory and he's made married to Kate back in the set. I mean, I'm pretty sweet.

On the face. So it's kind of like the life of director Len Weissman right now. And he has a big studio apartment. Let's not forget that. His life is, his friend is always telling him how terrible his life is. What came wood buying.

Bokeem wood buying is telling him, oh, your life, you know, our lives really stink, whatever. But he's got a beautiful life in this big apartment by New York standards, I guess. And he makes robots for a living. Like, what's the, anyway, there's a company called Recall that can input a, like an adventure module into your head. So you have memories as if you've lived through some kind of crazy

adventure. Yeah, they can strange days you basically. Yeah. They went for a strange day. That's what it's like. It's like strange days. This movie actually is a lot like strange They I wonder if they actually accidentally made a strange days remake and not a total recall remake

But a Colin Farrell's thinking about going in for one and he finally does and it's run by what's his name from John Cho Who does not offer him a white castle hammer, or which is disappointing. And he says, now here's the thing, nothing in your fantasy can be the same as in your real life because that would cause problems in your brain or something. But you had cost too much confusion. That makes a little sense. Cost too much confusion. But you wanted a secret agent mission. Let's just double check and make sure you're not cheating on your wife.

We'll also make sense when the not so we can run that. When the tech is sticking a needle on his arm and she says, hey in the future, this is still the easiest way to get fluids in your body. Yeah, the future of it. There is a point where it's still the easiest way to get chemicals in your body, which does not make sense except for if you're watching a movie about the future. It's like, hey now in the present, it's still the easiest way.

It's almost like, it's almost like the camera and the wing. It's like if, it's like if, if it's, yeah, the movie where someone gets into a car that's just a regular car and then starts driving around and going, well, we have flying cars too, but we also have ground cars. To a person living in that world,

it would not seem weird to have a ground car. Like, that's a dumb moment, but I kinda like it, because it's like, there's one step away from that point from saying, that'll be a thousand future bucks. Oh, I gotta get some money. I gotta get some money. I gotta get some money. I gotta get some money. What do you find?

A fucking alien skin vest? I gotta go to my astro job. Guess I'll take the space train. It's crazy. Well, yeah, I live in... That train goes through the air. I gotta go to my astro job. Guess I'll take the space train It's crazy. Yeah, I live in goes through the you said earlier. I live in New Angeles kind of thing. Yeah anyway, so Unfortunately, they're checking his psychological memory profile or some shit and it turns out he is a secret agent So they end at that it's at that point that a ton of policemen run in and start shooting all that everybody's side till it happens. I guess. I guess what I

guess the recall chair machine as a, as a secret agent alert. It is the first of many moments where something happens and it cues bad guys jumping in. Instantly. Yeah. Where instantly an army of bad guys jumps in as if they were waiting for a thing they could not have possibly have known was gonna happen like you can imagine two guys standing outside and the other guy being like Whoa, wait, wait, wait, we gotta we gotta wait for the signal Or two cops burst in and saying like we just got an alert signal. What's going on in here something like that? You know, but no they go and guns blaze like 10 guys they kill all the Asian people which is kind of weird But not Colin Farrell who then suddenly unknown to himself whips out a bunch of secret agent skills and kills everybody all the cops in the room It turns out he's some kind of secret badass. Maybe he is a secret agent. I mean I knew that like he's super ripped

He's super ripped for a factory worker. He's like yeah, we were talking about this like just on a casting level Aside from maybe not casting two women who look almost exactly like also you should have cast on noon and yeah well yeah but then cast a slub in the lead role you're you believe like oh I've an unsatisfying life and it's more exciting when he suddenly a secret agent and also when Kate back he goes back home and he escapes the police and he gets a phone call on his hand phone which turns out he has one of that all secret agents have a good word and it's another agent named hamond who's telling him all man your back well you need to find the key that's all you told me before you disappeared

gotta go and call and for all takes a piece of glass and cuts his hand open and pulls the phone out call and for all goes back home that by itself wouldn't bother me like the idea of like a futuristic thing where you have a fucking phone in your Hand no that's cool. There's nothing wrong there. There's a lot of like future tech in this movie that would be cool if it was in a better movie But it's like because nothing is going on except the future tech or a guy running around and jumping Colin Farrell does a ton of jumping most of the movie is him jumping off the things landing on other things He's great at jumping off room, jumping out of things. Apparently, I guess in high school, he was like on the jumping team because he jumps everywhere and there's a, he goes home.

There's a lot of times when he jumps out of window not knowing what will be there and lo and behold, there's something there to catch him. Like a flying car or a building or a boat or something. So Kate Beckinsale, he goes home to and he says, I killed all these people and she's like, what? And then starts fighting him. It turns out that she's a secret agent who was set up to pretend to be his wife. His mind has been erased and replaced with fake memories. And she says, how else do you think a guy like you could marry

a woman like me? And it's like, he's super handsome and ripped. That's why you need a schlubby guy. We were saying I mean in my dream world it would be Tom noon. Yeah Seems weird. He seems a little old Like a young Tom noon and you know like man hunter air. It's a new Tom noon So he has a whole day to make up on ten years in the future Like how much better would it be if like Wallace Sean was the star this movie amazing Then I believe it's weird that Kate Beckins a la is married to him, but they have a running and jumping like me because of my place

I thought you were just a fan of Antan and lemon all Poor wall is Sean. I mean poor wall is Sean's a successful working actor and playwright. In this fantasy world that we've created. He's married to Kate Beckinsale. Right, and true. And he's a secret agent. Plus, he gets to play Ziggy someday. Well, Sean has a pretty sweet. He's pretty sweet.

Or was it that he played Ziggy in the past? Oh, who knows. OK, continue with the show. Wollashon has a pretty nice life, and I know because I was in a restaurant, and he was eating there. It was a good restaurant. I've seen two plays where he was in the audience and one of them was a very good play. He wasn't eating even the market menu.

He was eating off of the market menu. He was eating all the market menu and it wasn't like he was digging through the garbage or anything. You know, it's true. It's the customer sitting in a tube. It seems to me that they're on that shit on a beach anyway. What's happening here actually is that Elliott is just bragging that he has as good a life as well as Sean.

Yeah, oh, to say I'm on gossip girl. Yeah, all that stuff. I do. I voice a dinosaur for Pixar. Yeah, everything. So anyway, let's make a long story short because we're getting very long. We haven't, and we've gotten very not into the movie. Gateback in sail chases Colin Farrell around.

It turns, he goes through a bunch of running and escaping and jumping onto stuff there's a car chase with magnetic cars on a highway and he meets up with Jessica Beale who is a note it turns out that dreamy had it was real she's another secret agent he they go to part of the resistance she's part of this resistance led by a mysterious man named math mathias and the resistance is against the government which is run by brine cranson now the government i guess is evil because it has robots and stuff like they never i don't have a lot of their subject getting

like the the poor workers like it's never quite clear what the resistance is against yeah because the bad guy has an evil plan but they don't quite know what it is yet but it turns out the bad guy was uh... faking terrorist attacks against his own government oh i missed that the terrorist attacks were fake yeah that like the resistance were not blowing things out so what was the resistance doing then what they were just they've been out like they're mostly like hippies there's like man we got that we got to put the means productions work as a thing Let's just hang out dude So the call it so Colin Farrell takes her back to after this big car chase takes Jessica Biel

You'd think it's Kate Beckinsale because they look alike no, it's it's and Kate Beckinsale at this point wants to catch Colin Farrell really bad She's running after I want to catch that Colin She wants to bag that Farrell catch that Colin and Brian Cranston keeps saying catch him but don't kill him keep him alive But she wants to kill him she is the she's the Michael Ironside basically. She's chasing after him. She is the You know the the bad guy who's chasing him sure So I'm trying to think of another example of that movie. Yeah, exactly the Tommy Lee Jones in that movie

Valley of I. Anyway, so It's like when he was chasing a fugitive like in that movie the executioner's song Like in that Tommy Lee Jones movie hope springs when he's chasing that fugitive and there's magnetic cars Anyway, they go back to Colin Farrell's old apartment where he finds the key is a piano key which Unlocks but well appointed yes, which unlocks a secret agent a government salary Well, this is the kind of secret agent who lives in luxury like Jimmy Bond or you know The man from unplay Jason. Yeah Jimmy boring the Not your Michael Kane style secret agent. No, it's not your tinkertaylor soldier harry cahill hantak

he plays a radical song in his biannare and that makes a hologram of himself but with a gootia p because this is the old colon feral it turns out he was an agent for the government set to infiltrate the rebellion but he became sympathetic with the rebellion the scales fell from his eyes. Resistance. Resistance, whatever. Manly, manly because-

There's synonyms. Ones on, ones on, I guess once. One's passive and one's aggressive, I guess he gets it. But also, manly because he fell in love with just being able to sweet body. And who wouldn't, come on. Sure.

As far as bodies go, there's few sweeter. That's true. In the movies at least. That's part of your wedding vows, right? See, I said, well, I said to my wife, I said, a few sweeter in the movies at least. That's part of your wedding vows, right? See, I said to my wife, I said, periture for poor, as far as bodies go, they're few sweeter, sickness and health.

Then Jessica Beale. Then I said, on a scale from zero to beale, you're a beale. So anyway. You've got real a beale. Is what you said? Get out. Go on.

So it turns out, Brian Cranston wants to invade the colony. you've got real a bill is what you said get out go get out so it turns out brine cransden wants to invade the colony and kill all the people there and steal its land because land is so valuable anyone replace all the workers with robots where they call them here robots uh... they come like fabric in something i don't know anyway the uh... but there's a secret code

that call and feral should have somewhere buried in his head that shuts off every robot in the world. And he needs to get he needs to get that to the rebellion to to search the resistance to Matthias. So he and Jessica Biel, they chase around a lot, they run around again, and they go into the poison zone and find the resistance led by Bill Nye. Hey, it's Bill Nye, everybody. He's never Bill Nye. He's the leader of the resistance. They strap Colin Farrell into him.

I'm going to be forward to him being in this movie for a long long time. He's certainly an actor of that caliber. They're not just going to show up for one scene. He's going to stay in it. So they strap Colin Farrell into a recall chair. And so we're going to erase these fake memories and bring back your original memories. But it turns out to be a trap It's a trap. Oh no Brian Cranston deliberately wanted Colin Farrell to get

Caught by the resistance so that they could lead him back to find him where the resistance was which makes no sense Because they've spent they spent a lot of time trying to kill Colin Farrell and killing a lot of people Accidentally while trying to kill him like even if you believe that Kate back in sale is a loose cannon because she was the one who's like, forget what he said about capturing this guy, we got to kill him. Like capturing him wouldn't help either because they want him to escape and get and lead them to the resistance. There's a whole scene that we skipped past where Colin Farrell's friend is sent in by the police to convince him that Jessica.

Joaquin Woodbine buy the movie blackmail. Yes, we're to send in to convince him that this is all a delusion Colin Farrell's having and that he has to shoot Jessica Biel so that he can wake up and start like in the original movie. Exactly. But he instead Colin Farrell shoots his friend and they escape. But that whole scene and that ploy in that gambit makes no sense if you want Kaelin Farrell to escape and take you to the resistance. Like basically, basically none of the movie makes sense once you get to this point in the

movie. And so Brian Cranston is there. He kills Bill Nye. A lot of you in the rest of the movie makes sense, right? It makes perfect sense. Brian Cranston, there's a brief moment between Brian Cranston and Bill Nye, two great actors. Let's see what sparks are gonna fly. Tyler Crap.

None. He shoots him. And that's it. Bill Nyey is dead in the movie. And- He says, but not in real life. Maybe 30 words in the entire film.

I perked up immediately upon him. It's a real appearing and then was sad. Let's see what's in this one. So like John Cho was in it for a few more lines than Bill Nye and then he gets shot by Faceless Goons. I think we all know what this was guys. This is what Al Madrigal would call a cash grab. Yeah.

This is just an out and out cash grab on the parts of these guys. You get in, you get out, you get your check. So, and I'm sure just like, just like. Wait a minute. Wait, they weren't fully invested in the idea of total recall the remake. I think Bill Nye, he was not.

I think maybe he was in those underworld movies, right, by Lynn Weissman. I think those are also cash graphs. Well, I might be why he agreed to do this actually. Yeah, there was a good deal. Well, I was like a deal where he's like, okay, I'll be in two of your movies like, okay, all right, Nye, two of my movies plus a cameo. I think what actually happened was Lynn Weissman said, hey, do you want to be in in two of your movies like okay, all right now he two of my movies plus a cameo

I think what actually happened was Len Weisman said hey, do you want to be in another one of my movies? And he said sure I like you plus you'll pay me right? Yes, we will okay Well, I'm a working actor so I'll take this paycheck It only it was gonna what take a day of shooting yeah sure I'll go if I understand at the pay I will receive for this We'll be exchanged for goods and services Yeah, that's your choice. That's your choice. Whatever you want to do, Bill, I use it.

Or, alternately, I could save it for a future date. That's a crewing interest or invest it to make more money to exchange for other goods and services that are more expensive than the money I originally got for this job. Yes, Bill. I think you have put your finger on the way that money works. You have proven yourself a master of economics and potentially an elder vampire reporting to those movies. So at this point, the bad guys seem to have won. It turns out the whole, the whole idea

of a code that turns off the robots, not true, but the invasion of the colony and the liquidation of its residents, totally true. They're going to send a shitload of robots through the center of the earth through the, in the, in the, in the core element of its residents, totally true. And they're gonna send us shitload of robots through the center of the earth. Through the, in the core elevator. And they're dumb elevators. They're gonna send them to the colony and just kill everybody. So that sounds great though,

an elevator full of killer robots to go to Australia to murder. But also, let's go back. Even the hands of George Miller, that would be an amazing movie. Let's tell him. Maybe you'd have a talking pig in it. Let's tell it back, Ellie,

and go back to your previous concern about the way the politics of the movie work yes now apparently that this this place called the colony the colony it has a colony of this richer uh... much the same way that say Haiti was once a colony of France or our own united states of America as hard as it is to believe was once a series of colonies of Great Britain itself. Until they sent a bunch of killer robots after it. That's exactly what happened

because they wanted our land. For some reason, that's what we did with the Indian, really. For some reason, the president needs to send a bunch of killer robots to this colony to clear out space for more people. This is, and they refer to it as an invasion. He doesn't need to send those killer robots.

He needs to accompany an army of killer robots. Because he does go in person to lead he does let's say literally I've got an invasion to lead which leads me to think he needs to learn how to delegate because this is one of those movies where this corrupt evil government has three people in it. Brian Cranston, Kate Beckinsale, and Colin Farrell who's undercover and has his and two of those people were pretending to be husband and wife just living in an apartment so brancranston has been running the whole world all by himself under this

strain it's no wonder he came he cracked and came up with this terrible invasion plan i wouldn't be surprised if he dug that earth elevator hole himself yeah i mean as the president can't he just be like uh we need you guys to move out of this area to make room for more rich people. What is he have to have robots do this? What? What? What?

It's way more awesome to send an army of robots to do your dirty work than to defeat them through economics and things like that. And things like that. And like make them domain. Make them drink. Yeah, all you gotta do is pass a law that makes them so they have to leave.

And get them to drink a bunch of, you know, fatty sodas and stuff. Get them to do it. It's hard to persuade people to drink a fatty sodas. Wow, so you're talking about economic imperialism now. Yeah, I like it. I didn't realize Stuart had such a red heart anyway. In truth though, I much prefer robot and burial.

So he's got it, now Jessica Beales such a red heart. Anyway. And truth though, I much prefer robot and burial. So he's got it. Now Jessica Beales, we captured Colin Farrell has also been captured I guess and is going to be killed or something. Probably gets out. They go on the, there's this awesome action scene on the space elevator thing. Yep. And this is also, there was an earlier action sequence with regular elevators.

So there's a lot of jumping, a lot of elevators. If you like movies about jumping in elevators, and you want a little bit of robots, this is the movie for you. They go, they blow up the elevator full of robots. Kate Beckinsel's Chase Nafrom, they manage to, there's a, Colin Farrell has a fist fight with a robot, then a fist fight brine crandston against all logic brine crandston is winning until

i guess the explosion blows up everything i i think he's upset and tension or something yeah that colin feral stabs him with brine crandston's own knife and uh... the the good guys win everything blows up and the colony which has just seen its all its entire economic livelihood destroyed is celebrates and it's like the e-walks

you have been it up it's like the moment at the in the return of the jet ice special edition where the emperor has died seconds ago and instantly people are toppling statues of him well also apparently they're like super excited that this uh... core elevator is gone. That would be the easiest thing to sabotage.

Just blow it up. Yeah, if they don't want to. If they don't want people coming from the other side, they don't want to cut it off. Just fill that whole thing up and stuff. I don't know, that's a big hold in. I don't know, that's exactly how it works. But if you got a little dirt in there, like that elevator can't get through. I think you misunderstand elevators.

Just start throwing all your blade or run a rebulchion down there. So you're neon signs and your umbrellas and whatnot. Whatever, put like a big fucking, just put some plywood over that. Like when you got a broken window. I don't know. I mean, mean like yeah, it's not hard I'm saying I think if that's the one thing that connects your place to the other place

Well, it is it is that one thing it is weird that airplanes seem not to exist in this world It's like they just threw them out, but maybe there's not enough land You know what I'm gonna say there's not enough ground land for landing strips. That's what it is Oh, why are you do that even though they have magnetic highways in the sky and they can create floating things, they don't have land, they don't have floating landings. But anyway, so it's, hey we did it. We saved the world. Colin Farrell passes out or something. He wakes up and Jessica feels like, hey how's it going? Oh you're, you're back. That's great. We just attempt at trying to make you think like, oh wait, was this whole thing just part of the whole total recall simulation?

It goes black and then you hear some voices and then call them far away except in a hospital bed. And they kind of try and make Jessica Beale look like, what's the other one's name? Vangeline Lilly? I think Angie ever heard. That's who you're thinking. Kate Beckins. So they try to make it for like a second and then it goes back to Jessica Beale and then and then double twist. It's he notices she doesn't have the scar on her hand from the bullet that has to her hands bump bump bump and it turns out it's Kate Beckinsale with a hologram head on that makes

her look like Jessica Beale and there's a a fight scene for very briefly inside this meta hatch. So we get my wife one of those, you know what I mean? So you get it a hologram head. So this will look like Jessica Beale. Is that what dudes want? No, I know your wife. No what I mean. Yeah, it's just awkward.

Okay, I'm just fucking joking around here, guys. She's not sure. I don't like it. We should have mentioned earlier, he used a hologram head to get through some security. It's not like they just suddenly introduced a hologram head at a nowhere. That's true. So yeah, they were in good mood, right? Yeah, they let it track.

Chekhov said, if you introduce a hologram head and act to, you gotta have Kate back in seal, use it next three to look like Jessica. But they did introduce a hologram head that was faulty. It didn't work the first time. Because that whole scene was literally just a play on the scene in the original total recall where he's disguised as an old lady and his robot head malfunctions so he then shoots this woman and everybody thinks it's okay and he beats Jessica he basically literally kicks Kate back and sale out of a out of a room and shoots her in the chest and everyone's like what oh no it's

cool yeah oh yeah no it's cool yeah oh yeah Cape I it's co-houser we all know oh we should I forgot to mention that Colin Farrell's actual name is not Dougie but Carl Hauser which is ridiculous because it sounds much like Cole Hauser so everyone in the movie it sounds like they're calling him Cole Hauser which is the name of a real person yeah that's a name of a real person Elliott it's like if they name if uh well it's like if they named him George D'Amaggio. But everyone was talking real fast. I'm like, hey, George D'Amaggio.

So it sounded like they were calling him Joe D'Amaggio. At least Google search call house to make sure Google doesn't say, did you mean call house? Because that's an easy way to check the issue. Usually I mean call house. Almost always. Because call house is a real person. When I mean cold houses. Almost always because cold houses are real person. When I'm working on my paparazzi fanfic.

So in the movie ends with Colin Farrell and Jessica Beale are now, I guess, unemployed secret agent resistance fighters in a toky and dystopia. Time for them to stop resisting and start accepting. Okay, so movie over, two thumbs up. But it is a movie that is hard to get much out of, I mean, there's some, I mean, it's like a pretty standard boilerplate sci-fi action movie, but it keeps reminding you of the earlier total recall in a way that doesn't help it at all, doesn't compliment it.

Which is, I'll say probably just as dumb, but yeah, easily more fun. I would say total recall, the original one is dumber, but in a fun way. Like, when Colin Farrell has his kung fu fight with the robot at the end, that was the only moment where it really seemed to be approaching the kind of enjoyable dumbness of the original total recall. There's like a real like pop art feel the total recall like it's just like everything is so like it's really colorful and the original to the total recall. Look at the colors.

It's all the great colors. Isn't that was an argument for I know who killed me why it was great. Well that's not why it was great. Why it's people would think it was great if it was in another language because it used as blue a lot. But that's the thing is the original tour recall is really colorful and like popcorn fun. And this is is let Len Weisman style of everything being very grim and grainy. Everything's made out of gray concrete. It's always raining. There's no almost no color in the world. It's been entirely drained of color to the point where it looks like, I

don't know, it's really boring. Except I guess for the scenes where you're walking through neon lit, the colony, which just looks like cheap obliterator, you know. But I mean, I feel like that's also, now there's this idea in modern movies, modern like stupid action movies that the way to make them good is to make them serious. It's the same thing. I felt like that. I was glad when like Spider-Man came out because like that was so like goofy and like a fun way. Yeah. I was like oh finally this is gonna die off like this like trend towards making everything gritty and I think that maybe the fact that people didn't like Spider-Man 3 kind of like swung the pendulum back in the other direction again

I know except the Avengers is really Compliance and goofy and in a fun way. I think I think there is more room for it than there was for a period there Well, what your time that is something that happened in comic books also yeah where everyone assumed These stories are too silly. They're too like dumb like who's gonna believe this unless Everyone's murdered all the time and you can see the seams on their costumes and their boots have treads on the bottom of course we made it we did it now it's believable once I can see the seams in their costume it's totally believable but that also like came from like oh okay uh watchman came out and uh the the dark night returns came out and

they're like oh okay what we gotta do is what is the same comic you ask for the same thing that have to be good because it's gritty rather than make no this is good because it's good and like you make a silly thing and you can say in the same thing and movies the born movies came out everyone decided to make everything look like a born movie yeah i kinda i got admit in this movie i kind of like the bit where they're uh... running around the elevators.

And they're like jumping on top of elevators and there's a Kung Fu fight inside an elevator with robots. It was like an action movie sequence of the end of Monster's Inc, basically. Yeah, that was okay. But I will say some, the action sequences in this were a lot better than I thought they were gonna be. Like the movie around them was kind of bland and boilerplate, but like that sequence was was kind of fun. He kung fu fights a robot. I mean, Karen Farrell just didn't bring that much to it. Yeah.

Like, and he's an actor who was brought, who was definitely brought more to smaller roles, I guess, or it seems like he's an actor who needs something to hook his teeth into. Like he's not going to come up with an idea of how to play a boring character, but if you give him a character like the lead and in-brewge, or I know you liked Fright Knight, I haven't seen it yet, the vampire and Fright Knight, or even like his boss and horrible bosses. You know, like, if you give him a character who has a little bit of a hook, he can do a lot with it.

But- I'm sad he's just gonna go for a quick cash grab. Exactly, a CG cash grab. But he could have played the character as a real like Nebush. And in-brewuse, he's a totally insecure, kind of, nebysh-y type guy for the most part. And if he had played this character that way, it would have been instantly been a better movie.

Either that, or if he played it to the Hilt as like, Gung Ho Action Guy, like Guy Pierce in Lockout. Space jail? Space jail. Yeah. Like, that's the other way he could go with it. Instead, he was just hanging in the middle and almost tried to play this person as a real person which didn't work You know, it was too boring. So I think we got a was such a believable world that he didn't want to take you out of it by playing a wacky

Yeah, you're right this underworld minority report blade runner mashup So I think we got a skip to final judgments. This is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie you liked Allie would you have to say for yourself? I would say It's a bad bad movie, but there are things about it. I liked but overall it's like kind of a nothing Like I didn't care enough about it to really hate it But if you're gonna watch this movie why not just go watch total recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah I would say that this is a bad, bad movie, but it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I thought it was gonna be really deadly terrible.

Yeah. There's some stuff in it all. I mean, the first half an hour I found actually much more like, sprightly than it became. Like, I felt like it, all the- Like an old Irishman? I just, I just- Like a Spring Heal Jack? Spritely then it became like I felt like it all like an old Irishman Spring heel jack I just feel like so many flopp house movies we watch have like a serious case of like second-axe Drupes like yeah, just gets really boring all of a sudden and I felt like this was no different in that case What do you think to do? Yeah, I'm kind of the same way

I mean it's hard for me to say it's actually a good bad movie because I feel a good bad movies Something that you would want to watch with friends and I have some laughs. Yeah, and I don't think this really gave you any laughs If this is on late night TV and you have nothing else to do other than I don't know play video games or masturbate I guess you could watch this I would say masturbate and then maybe watch this okay, but it's like not at the same time You mean if you don't it doesn't really like Colin Farrell Well considering I do, considering Kate Beck and Salon Jessica Bealer in this, not a lot of masturbation fodder.

So I'd say, I'd probably say bad bad movie then I guess. I this is like, I would call it like a two, two and a half star. But I think I think you hit the nail in the head like, I feel that total recall is such a perfect example of a good bad movie. Yeah, yeah, that it seems unnecessary to watch this one. When Total Recall, the original had been erased by some cosmic accident. Which would be terrible.

Which would be awful. And they had to try to reconstruct it based on what the old people who had seen the movie remembered about it. Then I could understand watching this movie as like a very poor substitute. But when you can just watch the original to a recall instantly, literally. I do have to say I did like the director's touch at Verhovenism by having the villain ass

just gunning down civilians with a machine gun at a point, trying to kill Colin Farrell, but that was so brief that it didn't really. It really didn't last long. And there was an a ton of blood, so it didn't really count. But I assume this is gonna be like the Robocup remake where it won't be Awful with their remaking Robocup. Oh, I hate I didn't want to break it to you this way. Wait where it'll be probably is he still a robot He's still he's actually it's actually a dance movie. No, it's still in Detroit. It's called step up five the Robocup

But I, where it's going to be a movie that is not like horribly laughably bad, but is just the originals right there. Just watch it. It's not going to be as good. Uh, so before we get on to letters, I've got no specific plugs on behalf of our friends at All Things Comedy, but I will say, why don't you start out the new year by stopping by All Things Comedy.com? Let's call this the New Year New Podcast initiative where you get you to try a new podcast

every week or the month from a few. There's really good stuff over there. I'm gonna listen. Walking the room, mini van men. What's it gonna hurt you? Long shot. Yeah, I think we've mentioned a lot of them. Yeah, we mentioned trying not to give a give a heads up to them and also February 1st,

we do have something to plug. Yeah we should plug this. Usually there's a little more space between our live appearances but Hurricane Sandy pushed back the last one. Yeah. And so they're stacking up. Stacking like like crackings. No, no, no. The crackings stack. Like such a plot. Like Jacks. Stacking like Jacks. Do Jack stack?

I don't know. But so. Stacking with the flop. Our next live appearance is February 1st. We'll be showing the film with our I Love Bad Movies compatriots, Max Anya. Showing the film, don't tell her it's me. The boyfriend school.

AKA the boyfriend school, starting Steve Gutenberg, Shelley Long, right? And uh. I'm a Jimmy Gertz. I'm a Glockman. And kind of often, I always forget he's in it. Imagine Amy. The film that I once saw in a blockbuster video with a sticker on it that said,

Guaranteed and Routine. And it was, but not for the reasons that sticker thought. Sure. So, we're gonna be watching that February 1st at our old home, 92 wide Tribeca. Tickets are on sale, right? Tickets are on sale and already selling. So if you wanna go make a point to get your tickets early and often because it's gonna sell out hopefully,

like this is gonna be weird because we're probably not gonna be able to talk much there in the movie because we're gonna be enjoying it. It's just gonna be, our mouths are just gonna be hanging over the top cord. It's gonna pop up. That's how you tell that you're enjoying a film. It's like popcorn. You fill your mouth with the popcorns.

You don't speak and pop and interrupt the movie. And then you put your penis in the popcorn in the bucket, I guess. But we all know that doesn't work. So penises. Unless you want to fuck popcorn. Unless that's what you're... Maybe that's what that scene in diner was about. Was the woman interrupting the guy having sex with his popcorns?

Yeah, she was his beard. He's actually a popcorn sexual. He's a pop-up file, yeah. Um, so anyway. Pop-a-sexual. The first letter tonight comes to us. February, first-dom day. The biography of Orville Redbocker, right?

Pop-a-sexual, yeah. Uh, not. That was more. Uh, Peter, last name withheld writes a letter titled New York, and he says, dear that's more. Uh, Peter, last name with held, writes a letter titled New York. And he says, dear the flop house, New York Sugs. I heard that some fun. Filly rules. We've been burned again.

Peter, last name with held. Damn you, Peter. Um, this, this comes back from October. And I have to apologize. We have a real backlog. Yeah, we have a backlog of letters. So try and I try and mix all the new stuff But yeah, great. Let's just read it I just want to apologize sometimes for not getting to these things in a time. Let's get this done

We have lives to live. We can't answer every letter right away So this is he goes dear the flop house I've been listening to your podcast for the past three months, and I'm currently listening to your back catalog for the second time. I listen to the podcast so much in fact that although this may do rail my life and ruin me forever,

I've inadvertently come to think of you as role models of a sword. That's a terrible idea. Good God, why? I barely know why, but I'll try to explain. I don't know why either. When the bits and pieces of your lives

that I've picked up listening to your show, it seems you've fulfilled three of my biggest goals in life. Beast or Wellington. You live in New York. Who's hard? You live in New York. You write comedy for an Emmy winning television show. Two of us do.

I'm assuming that Stewart does this to and he's too modest to admit it. And you host live show. He actually writes Herman's head specs, Chris, in the hope that that show will come back. So we keep telling him I've been talking to Netflix about it Reuniting the original cast the fucking Michael Sarah's fucking hold now

Why he wasn't the head he's been he's been emailing Yardley Smith He calls it Herman's head of the family. He thinks he's been emailing Yardley Smith. He calls it Herman's head of the family. He thinks he's been emailing Yardley Smith. He's been emailing Yardley S. at gmail.com in the hopes of that's her email address. Yeah. Anyway, anti-host live show is about bad movies. Oh, on the podcast. Oh, in the podcast, that's great too.

As far as I'm concerned, my iPad went to sleep. As far as I'm concerned, you're living the dream. Put me to sleep, Dan. Let's finish up the letter, huh? Maybe you didn't interrupt me. Or A dream. Maybe we're all living in a dream, and life is an illusion. So I thought I'd ask you to recall. What should I do if I want to move to and survive in New York? If I do stand up in improv and want to continue,

who should I be getting in touch with? Big brother Elliott? I'm able to get a job somewhere, anywhere with only two years of proof reading experience on my resume, little brother steward. Can I crash on your couch, weird maternal figure Dan? I visited New York enough to know that I want to live there and maybe all I need is some reassurance that it's not a terrifying hell hole that will swallow me up and take all my savings away from me, sucking out my soul and turning me into a dead eye in the process. Has this happened to anyone you know? off and take all my savings away from me, sucking out my soul and turning me into a dead eye in the process. Has this happened to anyone you know? That guy in last action here, oh.

If this line of questioning is too overwhelming and or boring to the average listener, hey, who would you cast to make a face off? Would you pick two actors who are less likely to become laughing stocks in the next 10 to 15 years, or would you just bring back occasions for Volta but have them switch rules? Well, we called face off too, and they're old. But I would actually cast Jessica Beel and Kate Beckinsale. She's like, good switch faces, and nobody would notice. To answer your most important question first,

no, you can't sleep on my couch. You don't want to, it's covered in cat hair and chicken grease. Yeah, Popeye's for it. Years of Popeye's for it. I would say, This is why I'm apologizing though, for not getting to this in a timely fashion because he's probably waiting by a train station. He has his ticket ready to go.

This fucking steak and bindle keeps pushing it back just waiting for word from the flop house. It's a hard question to answer in a short fashion. Yeah. I would say that if you want to try to make it in comedy the most important thing is to start writing or performing. Listen to a lot of WTF. Live into it. Listen to a lot of AT all things comedy podcasts. But I would say start writing and performing wherever you are first. New York is basically the two places you can three places you can do comedy in New in America. Two of them make television shows. LA in New York. One of them makes more LA. Chicago is a county place that makes no television shows. But it's a good place to learn.

If you want to do it. It's a good place to learn, but it's hard to get a job. But eventually you need to move someplace after that. But it's a tough, it's a very tough business. New York is not the hellish pit that many people worried about. There are millions of people who live here at all different levels of intelligence, income, ability, dream, and so forth. I want to say that before I moved here, I was terrified of New York because my conception

of New York, I realized that Jason was taking it. Well, I realized that my conception of New York was largely based on movies that had been made in the 70s. Yeah. And so I didn't realize that New York is actually a quite nice place to live right now. Yeah, I think I benefited from living in New Jersey and having family in New York. So I spent a lot of time here as a kid.

And I never had that like, that like, G-Golly all like wonder or fear of it. Yeah. But I kind of wish I had had that experience a little bit. It's just a series of small neighborhoods. Series of tubes. Yeah. But no, that's my advice is to just hang out

with some guys who do write comedy and watch a lot of movies with them. Well, that's the thing is. And you out with some guys who do write comedy and watch a lot of movies Well, that's the thing is you're making a lot of money off this podcast dude I am making a ton of money and the thing I would say to well first you have to get a job somewhere to but not necessarily a comedy job just if you're gonna make it in New York you got to be able to support yourself Yeah, but I worked for 10 years in shithole Maybe in a robot. I know. And I worked for 10 years in Emmy winning TV shows.

I'm a piece of son of a bitch. But the thing is to find a place where people are doing comedy. That could be UCB, that could be the pit, that could be other places that comedy is being done. And literally it is hanging out and getting to know people. And the best way to network in comedy is to write or perform comedy. Get up at standup shows, hang out at standup clubs, if stand up is what you want to do, and get to know people. And you'll make friends with people whose sensibilities are similar to yours, and that becomes your network of people that you can work with, that you can rely on, that you

can help out when you get the chance. And when the people say comedy community, like, that's what it is. It's a real community, and you just have to... And they're nicer than you think they are. Yeah, they're unhappy people, but they are nice people. Yeah, some of them are assholes. You know, most are not.

Follow your dream. I mean, the worst that will happen is that you'll realize you don't actually want to do this and you'll have racked up incredible debts trying to. But, well, that's true. Oh, so that's not that bad. But, but you eventually paid off that debt. Yeah. But here I got lucky. But yeah. What I said to, uh, this is

something I said in the keynote address that I gave at my middle school's career day when they asked me to go back next year and give one is that you might as well try because if you try and you fail, the worst that happens is nothing. Absolutely nothing happens. And you remain where you were when you started. If you try and you succeed, the worst that happens is nothing. Absolutely nothing happens when you remain where you were when you started. If you try and you succeed, then you succeed. So you literally have nothing to lose except for the death that Dan was talking about. So you might as well try, and it's a matter of not waiting for the moment that's right

to strike, but going and doing it and not making excuses and just doing it and getting out and doing what you want to do and building up that way. This letter is titled Sincurian and it's from Michael last name withheld. He says, Hi Dan Stewart and Elliott, watch Sincurian, a man gets stabbed in the ding dong. Enjoy. I think I recommended Sincurian. I think you did. Yeah. There's a misconception out there that we just love ding dong violence. We want violence against

violence against violence. I apparently do because it seems to be my recommendation. And it was, it was the best part of Immortals, right when that guy got hit in the crotch with a sledgehammer. Yeah, but I think that Stuart, Stuart's lover, Castle Freak has put something on to the world. And that Lorraine Ababa TV movie, right? We don't necessarily want to support. Here's I want to add something that I meant to say the last letter that I forgot to. This isn't about ding dong. Right.

This is not ding dong related, but we can make it that way if you want. Sure. Okay. Which is that I would say if you want to be in comedy, you have to do it. You have to make it possible. But be ready for it to be very, very hard to get what you want in comedy and be ready to put up with obstacles and try to overcome them and take a long time to do it. Like to be in comedy and it's the same with being a writer or anything or an artist of any

kind, you have to really need it because there's going to be so many obstacles to get passed that if you don't need it You're gonna give up and in a way those obstacles exist to weed out the people who don't need it So just know that this is what you want to do and be ready to have to put up with a lot to eventually do it And also know that like Once you do get a job in comedy it is still a job Yeah, you gotta go and go to it. Don't get don't get me wrong I love my job, but it's not going to solve

every problem in your life. You know, like you mean, after still kind of a sad bastard. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's a guy who size a lot. Working comedy writers are no less depressed. Well, I mean, a little less depressed, but still depressed than unemployed comedies. A better fit.

But it's a career. It's not a, it's not a lottery ticket. You know, even when you get that job, it's just a job and you need another one eventually. It's a career. It's not a it's not a lottery ticket. You know, even when you get that job, it's just a job and you need another one eventually. It's a career. But, uh, yeah. So I saved that letter for a little while knowing that it would take a little longer than the normal. But I'm glad he put his dreams on hold for you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How long was he supposed to wait, Dan? When were you going to come back in the rain? That train depot. Um, you know, any town USA, I would that train depot. You know, any town USA.

I would say go for it. It's a small town boy. Go for it, but be realistic about your chances and don't give up if you don't get it right away. Or in another way to put it. Keep your feet on the ground. Keep reaching for the stars. All right. This is the part of the podcast where we recommend movies that we actually liked in contrast to the movies that we watched for the podcast

Yeah, which we usually don't like except for journey to the mysterious islands So Elliot is there's something that you've seen lately that you would like to recommend to the flop house listeners out there I will recommend a movie. I just watched very recently. It's on Netflix instant right now Maybe it will be still when this episode goes up and it's called. It's a Richard Link letter movie that he came out with last year starring Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey and Shirley McLean. And it's a black comedy ish story based on a true story about this very, very charismatic popular undertaker who befriended an old lady. And I don I don't know what if I should tell you,

but I'll just tell you. Eventually Kielser. And the, I mean, I knew it going in, but it's a movie that is, it's one of these movies. It's kind of like Reds, the movie I recommended, I think last time in that they have interview segments with real people who actually knew these people. Interspersed with Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey playing the characters in the movie and Jack Black gives like watching it I was like this totally makes up for Jonathan Swift or whatever Galvestravels movie was they made it so shitty and like all his crap

Jonathan Swift had all this tiny little fucking little pose there's based on a true story right like? Like how I'd got his perros is in John Carter. But the, so it totally makes up for his like cash grab movies in a way that it reminds you that Jack Black is a really good performer. Like he sings in it, he acts in it, and he's really good in it.

And it's a really like, it's a good like comedy that's not always a ha ha comedy, but is very, gets to some deeper places while not while not being too sad, you know, but I enjoyed it a lot. I'm going to continue a theme here and I'm going to recommend a duet. Bernie. I'm going to recommend the same movie.

I'm going to do a dual recommendation of the other two films that Matthew McComay got a lot of intention for recently on New Year's Eve. Angels in the Outfields. On New Year's Eve I watched Magic Mike and on New Year's Eve. Angels in the Outfields. On New Year's Eve, I watched Magic Mike. And on New Year's Day, I watched Killer Joe. I like it a lot. Killer Joe. Oh, you saw Killer Joe already.

Yeah. And then a little while ago. I missed it. And they're great. Killer Joe is a very sleazy movie. And is kind of... Magic Mike not so sleazy for it. Well, it's weird. The movie with the male stripping is less sleazy than killer Joe

There's some and as a flop house favorite in it the guy who well no, let me get you that in a second actually I was actually one of your address that You know kill Joe Tracy let's play Record a strike that from the record William Fried director, the same team who did bug. A lot of fun, a film noir, pushed past. I think that's how they advertised it was from the makers of bug. From the minds that brought you bug.

But Magic Mike. You picked a lot of fun. Magic Mike was a lot of fun. And I wanted to address what I think you were getting to was that Alex Petifer is Serious come Alex Petifer from Beasley and I'm number four. Oh, and I just want to make it like you know But I want to highlight his work and he does it. He's good in magic

It's good imagine Mike. I feel like sometimes I feel bad that this whole I feel like sometimes I feel bad that this whole podcast is about shitty on people because like I don't think I thought that was our German podcast that we do. I feel like I mean we all love movies and we want them to succeed. Oh yeah. And we don't want to be like part of like I think that the internet snark complex. So I want to make it clear that like in the case of Alex Petterfer, maybe it was bad movies before like he's a tease He's very good magic mic and Channing Tatum who you wouldn't expect to be that great You know is great in magic mic as well. They are both great as sets of abs and dancing dancing shoes But they handle what the the movie needs them to do. I guess what you're saying is

These people are in movies for a reason and the movies we see don't necessarily provide the reason. Alex Petterfer, if you just see beastly and I have number four, as I only have, comes off as there's no reason to ever put this person in a movie and he comes off as unlikable, but it could be they yeah, like you're saying, just bad movies and there's a reason people give them a shot at being in movies. But I would recommend both of those films, both, again, with a great Matthew McConaughey performance too.

So, magic, strength, and the Hopkins, and beautiful Joe the video game? Yeah. That's right. Stuart, what do you got? I watched Ted the other day, and I really like that. The movie where, you know, South MacFarland climbs into a tiny little Teddy bear suit. I hope any acts opposite. the movie where, you know, South MacFarland climbs into a tiny little teddy bear suit. I hope any acts opposite.

So they shrink, they shrink them down like Mike TV and really walk it. But no, I mean, I think that Ted kinda highlights, I mean, it's a movie about a fucking talking teddy bear. I was about a conference. And it, I think, I mean, I think it kinda highlights what makes South MacFarland's comedy work And they managed to throw in enough

Assides and kind of inside jokes with flash Gordon to keep his rabbit old person fan base excited I'm more and more and more intrigues now that I know that flash Gordon is involved and actually it has pretty good performances from Mark Wahlberg and Mila Koonis who actually seem to have some chemistry. They're not bad actors. No, but I mean, it's a silly movie about a guy with a teddy bear and I think it manages to like they have some fairly good chemistry between all three lead actors. I've also heard a lot of good things about Ted from people who wouldn't necessarily

like family guy, which gets shit on a fair amount in comedy circles, I feel like. And I, you know, like, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. But, you know, I also think it has some good jokes sometimes. I don't hate it either.

And I mean, it doesn't, not everything about it works. But I mean, you get some good Giovanni Rebece dancing out of it. So, hey, it's a movie. It's that your definition of a movie? The Giovanni Rebece dance, didn't it? I think that was in the ads. Like, hey, there's some Giovanni Rebece dancing in it. So, hey, it's a movie.

So, the only two movies, not a TV show. The only two movies that exist for your Ted and the other sister. Wow. I don't press that you had a movie where G.A. by NBC dances cute up in there. I actually don't remember if he dances, where he just dresses up in a dog costume, but either way. Either way, he's got a dance.

Come on. Okay, that's four movies you were recommended. We like movies, see? Four movies? Oh yeah, you recommend it too. Yeah, high fives guys. Hey. Slap, slap.

Are we high fiving for doing the same thing we do every time? We did it for this time, whatever. We didn't die in the middle of the podcast. I think that's some reason to celebrate. Stuart, you usually recommend three movies. Head of the family, invisible maniac, and Castle Freak. I mean, I do recommend all three of those movies. Thanks for bringing it up.

Anything that raises the average eBay price on those three movies is, do you want to stop those people? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm possibly get some commission. I'm vice president of full moon entertainment. Right. You should see my collection of puppets. Well, on that reference, on that reference to a semi-obscure

exploitation production company or VidMark, I'd like to sign off for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington, president of VidMark. I'd like to sign off for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington, president of VidMark. And I'm Elliot Kalen, who now wants to be a share owner in VidMark. Look at that everyone. What doesn't make sense about it? Name one thing about it that doesn't make sense. Are you trying to say that the idea that Jebadiah Morningside is his crazy interdimensional necromancer? Of course there is, that's who the first movie.

It all makes sense, and he has floating globes with blades that come out of him and stuck it to people's forehead. Yeah his fears that have brains inside him. What does it make sense? What does it make sense? Yeah, you guys have to convince me and at one point Reggie Bannister combines two shotguns and four barrel shotguns that makes perfect sense. Yeah perfect. The Quad Shotgun. Come on Quad Gun. Quad Gun Gin. four barrel shotguns. That makes perfect sense. Yeah perfect. The Quad shotgun. Come on Quad gun. Quad gun chin.