The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #127 - Safe Haven

Episode Date: June 1, 2013

Oh Nicholas Sparks, you're the creepiest! APOLOGIES for the audio issues in this episode -- specifically Dan's ear-splitting levels. It does get (somewhat) better as the episode goes on.0:00 - 0:48 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 39:54 - You play a good game, Butler! But do you play... for KEEPS?39:55 - 40:13- A barely-there final judgments.40:14- 43:47 - A word from our sponsor.43:48 - 58:15 - Flop House Movie Mailbag58:16 - 1:04:42 - The sad bastards recommend.1:04:43 - 1:06:19 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

On this episode we discuss Safe Haven. And before we start, come out to see the flop house on Saturday, June 8th at 92Y Tribeca, where we'll be doing a live screening of JAWS The Revenge complete with commentary. It's our last show in the venue before it closes, so please come on out. Check 92Y org slash Tribeca for more details. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Yeah, I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalen, number three, with a bullet. So this is a little podcast where we watch a back movie.

Let's not talk ourselves down. This is a big bold breasted podcast about a big movie. This is the biggest little podcast in Texas. The smallest big podcast of the littlest Texas. It's the littlest biggest Texas in the podcast. Big trouble and little podcast. Big start later. And small e-smalls. So just reach over your computer and click. Then drag this podcast to the delete can and let go. The delete can. You can either delete it or you can drag it to the trash can. I don't know. But it's, you got a delete can in this farm. So damn, what do we do on this podcast? I have a recycling delete can we How dare I

This is a podcast where we talk about bad movies and then we discuss them We talk about them and then we discuss them Let me make sure I get the order correct because I hate to discuss it and then talk about it All right, very important we watch a bad movie. We watched a little film called Safe Haven. Safe Haven. I was in Nicholas's Barg's joint. It was directed by Alassa House from him. Or Howard's pronounce too. It was a fairly big name in the international filmmaking. Yeah, you may remember his his indie film international breakthrough my life as a dog. Yep, also known as the wolf man. No, actual dogs or wolves. Is that what James Spader and Jack and Jack Nicholson? No, you're thinking of a robot robot cop meets the name. I think I think the movie I think the movie

robot cop. I think the movie you're thinking of is the shaggy D.A. actually. Yeah, yeah. He also did. D.A. states stood for dinosaur assassins. You're what's eating Gilbert Craype, which was an early dinosaur Leonardo DiCaprio. Film of notes for an academy award right? but now he's making Nicholas Parks movies

and let me tell you I wish he was making movies if only he had made a movie of the band Sparks which would have been awesome the late maybe? they're still around they didn't strike while the iron was hot at that sparks film no They probably should have made it 25 30 years ago, but you know isn't there now go all like beverage It's like a mixture of soda and booze called sparks like one of those it's a mixture of soda and a public park

You take dirt from a public park I asked a genuine question here, do you well? You're the bartender you should know Yeah, don't pay the cost as well, I get people. People ask they're like, make me a man-hatten, and you're like, you got it, yay, you're my string beer. Make me a, make me a Cosmopolitan. All right, here's a baby's diaper and some ammonia. Here's 12 hours served with some roses lime juice. Get me, make me an apple tea. So booze in it. All right. Well here's here's an apple and I put a razor blade in it

Ouch I call that pulling a night of the demons But so this movie is based on a novel by Nicholas Spartans romance genius. He's best known for writing for ladies The notebook. He's one of them. The notebook. The story of O. I think is another. And of course, blood, blood, um, bloodmuridian.

Yeah. Because also an exosperous novel. Or the color of the evening sky in the west. What is the subtitle that? Oh, yes, something like that. Anyway, anyway, he writes novels. I've never read any of them. Not I'm not making any judgment calls. They're just not my taste. You know, I like historical nonfiction books about presidents or you know, how pencils get made. And you like your romance

to be more in the line of two television characters fucking each other these stories on the internet rather than purchasing them I read some very good ones about Dana Scully and Foxmolder and some also very good ones about Will and Grace Turns out he's not as gazing thanks in this fanfiction quite ribbled tails yeah quite ribbled for ribbled for her pleasure

so should we dive out what happens in this movie? Oh, I'm dying of love. This is not much that happens in this movie. Actually, this is a movie that's almost two hours long. And I know we harp on length a lot. This is almost two hours long and there is enough story in here for maybe an episode of like, I don't know, like a half hour anthology film. Oh, I got to say, it's an up-a-sort of wings basically.

There are actual plot developments in this movie, but they are dispensed with so quickly, whereas the rest of the movie, like where nothing has happened, it happens at Great Link. So, aren't they? This is a film that's right with incidents. Yes. Right? That's it.

You said that. Last episode, I recommended movie called Gregory's Girl, which is basically a series of small incidents that are very entertaining and charming, and you get a sense of the characters. This movie is a series of small incidents where nothing happens, you get a sense of nobody, and it feels like a lot of shots that were then killing time before they started shooting the movie. It's like, if you decided to base a movie on like a commercial, the footage in a prescription drug commercial,

where it's just silently showing people like shopping or doing crafts, well, they read the side effects. That's what this movie feels like. But then you remove the narration about the side effects, the drug, and then just showing you those scenes. But then with 40 minutes left, the movie springs a number of meldramatic traps on you turns into a thriller. Yeah That's I mean it starts like a thriller it starts with like a thriller. We start with you. We talk about it. Let's say what happens

Okay, so our heroine Katie Julianna how She's a former dancing with the stars champion not in the movie our heroine Katie Also star of rock of ages, which we didn't record that at all. Elliot and I, I mean, Stuart hasn't excused he wasn't here, but neither Elliot nor I was able to determine that. At all. Yeah. But meanwhile, Kobe Smolders, everyone recognized right off the bat. Yeah. Well, Kobe, come on. And she's Smolders. Yeah. She's from a hit TV show, really?

It's hilarious. Yeah, she is. About the method in which one meets the shield, one mother. She's the one that's the shield. Michael Chickl... With Michael Chicklates, no. So, OK, Katie, our main character

played by the dancing girl. Yeah. She is running for her life, it seems. She's got a bloody knife in her hand. And we don't know what's going on. It's very chaotic, uh, Brittany Kevin chaotic even. And she is, goes to the bus stop. Suddenly she's got short blonde hair.

She was run out of second ago. She's at the bus station. She gets on a bus. A cop is running after her with her picture. Did you see this woman? Did you see this woman? We assume she just killed a man. Now she's on the run from the police, but she gets away.

The cop does his best to ignore the one witness who starts giving him information. Yeah, there's one guy. He shows them her, shows this guy her picture. She's a Bruno long hair goes, you see this woman, you see this woman, he starts walking away and goes like, yeah, but she's a blonde with short hair. He's already, he's already walking away. That's the lead that could have cracked the case no So she takes a long distance bus and she ends up in the small town in North Carolina that we named Point awkward because it's a little harbor town where every conversation anyone has is very awkward with lots of Stuttering and stop starts no one knows what to say and No one knows how to open a door. Every time anyone tries to open any door in this movie, it either sticks, they pull it too hard, they hit

someone with it, I imagine. Like, it's crazy. It's like this town, the door was just introduced to. It's like one of those towns you read about in old science fiction stories in the 19th century, where they find like a little town nestled in the, in a valley that's still living like its medieval or caveman times, but here's just that the door just never made it to them and now finally they have doors you know. So I got a music man doors. Some kind of music man type character came to this town and sold them a bunch of doors. Nobody knows how to use them. But anyway she enters this quaint little cottage town. She buys a spooky house in the woods. The floorboards immediately break and there's possums underneath.

She goes down to the local... she gets a job as a waitress at Ivan's, a seaside shack. It's actually just a seaside seafood restaurant. And goes down to the local general store, the trading post to pick up some provisions and encounters a cute little girl named Lexi who's Manning the register because her dad is busy. Her dad is a single father, Widower, who has a young daughter and a young son named Josh. And Josh is depressed, still sad his mom died. He's having trouble getting over it and he loves to fish. Those are his two character traits. Also, he hates having his picture picture taken which is something that never really comes to anything The winner whiter wars played by Josh do hamel

Yeah, you might remember you might remember him from one of those transformer movies or from being the poor man's Timothy Olafond what was the TV show that you know Las Vegas where his character's name was Danny McCoy? Wow based on our damn McCoy. Yeah, let's hand some Yeah, I remember that whole storyline. It was like half a season where he tours ACL. Yeah And he would not shut up about it. Not stop talking about it. James Conn. Give me some sympathy He was just it was just an exclamation. Oh James Connig against so mad at you Well, like he stopped just. Oh, James Connig against so mad at you. We're like, he's stuffed his stone, goes, oh, James Conn.

Anyway, a lot of nothing happens as the main characters Katie and the guy's name is Alex, Fawn Love Together and Shady. And she makes a friend in town named Joe played by Kobe Smolder. She makes a friend with this lady, Joe, who was always hanging around in her house, walking with her down the backcountry roads uh... and joe shows up one day

just peering into her uh... rickety old house and uh... she's like oh sorry i heard someone new moved in uh... i just want to see who you were et cetera and they become fast friends because that's how it happens when you find someone peering into your home you come fast friends with somebody haunting around the outside of your house and haunting that seems like a weird choice of words But okay now here's the thing there's a twist with Joe and for the first couple scenes

I'm sure the twist would be that she's a lesbian who has a crush on Katie because she is very attentive to Katie Yeah, and she always she's coming on strong kind of awkward in a way that you would be if you had a crush on somebody but Meanwhile Back in Boston where she ran away from the police officer is Desperately trying to find her he was desperately seeking Susan if her name was Susan if her name was Katie Yeah, he's going through all the bus depot security cameras He takes hours days to do it which makes no sense because he knows exactly what time she got to the

needle the only stack yeah it doesn't know it shouldn't be though and he puts out an a pb he's drinking heavily vodka out of a dissonny water bottle and it's a sunny must have paid heavily to be it have be featured in this film like dissonny the best bottle to use when you're pretending you're not an alcoholic dissonny buy our bottle. Maybe they'll be vodka. You never know. Don't settle for normal water like Poland's brain, but maybe you get a little nip of

vodka. Get some ice cream. Get some of Surgees medicine. The old potato water. Makes mama's day go faster. Day go, Dan, in this day and age, he's language like that. I am offended and insulted, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I almost think that is an actual regular water you're drinking, and in fact it's potato water. Anyway, I just realized now glancing up the Wikipedia thing that it describes Kevin, the police officer, meanwhile Kevin, a rather husky boss, didn't police officer, which is, I think. They don't know what husky means. It's gotta be from the book or something.

I think that he has a husky voice is what they mean. He's very ragged and like, real jeska rabbit type. Maybe they brought a, Kathleen Turner into the woods. I think it means tough, a husky dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're, call a while. Yeah, sure. like tough like a husky dog like yeah like you're you're all while when you're supposed to you will not like it's not like

he's gonna be a sharpened for his overalls and the like the oversized section of the story. The even stout boys. So we could be giving you a husky is actually in very good shape. Anyway let's cut to the chase. Alex and Kate Adora, yeah, Alex, right? Is the Alex and Katie fall in love. Lexi takes to her instantly. I just realized how weird it is that his name is Alex and his daughter's name is Lexi.

Yeah, it's like George Foreman. Will and Willow. Will Smith and his daughter Willow. Yeah, exactly. His son Willar Smith, the male version. And his other son Will I am. Really, that's his son. Yeah, exactly. His son will are Smith the male version of his other son will I am Really that's his son. Yeah, yeah, and his other son will Talks to rats

Thank God Stuart bailed on that one So they fall love bailed the drink out of his bottle of water. I see if I was gonna list for you Yeah, potato water If I was gonna list for you all the things that happened this movie it would sound like this they go to the beach They sell popcorn to some people on a bus. Mm-hmm. They go canoeing in it rains. It is she stams a flounder with a gib with a spear She gigs she gigs a flounder by spearing it with a spear. He makes her a bicycle She doesn't want to accept it at first. Then she does.

They make out. It is. It talks about how to grill a flounder for a while. They have the best, maybe the best snippet of film conversation I think I've ever heard in a date where they were canoeing and it rained really hard. They somehow ran to a diner. And the diner, what's weird is,

everyone in the diner acts as if they can't see them and just ignores them, which makes me think that, for a second, I was like wait are they supposed to be ghosts like what's going on do they die on that there's no care there's nothing supernatural in the movies so how could they're me but the movie dissolves to later in their conversation talking dissolves leave a conversation is like a fucking horror movie where you just you hear him say what what's weird is guer gorillas are so strong but they don't eat meat.

They just eat like fruits and vegetables and kale and she goes, kale is very good for you. It's very healthy and he's like, yeah, but it's like is it genetic then? You're like, no shit, totally genetic. A gorilla strength isn't genetic, but it's working out at the local gym. No, that gorilla has a subscription to Jack Elaine's.

Well, again, this is more, this is more product placement. This was kale. This was part of kale short-lived gorilla strong campaigns. Oh, and the kale council was trying to try to sell more to gorillas. Yeah. Be strong. Be gorilla strong. Eat kale. It should have advertised in zookeeper. Yeah. And then the gorilla. I teach I primates. Instead of ordering oranges at T. Yeah. And then the gorilla, a TGI primates, whatever that was instead of ordering oranges at TGI Friday should have ordered a big bowl of kale. He said, helps keep me strong, along with my healthy genes. Anyway, so

you know what, genes, like just a few cool boy, genes. I might as well. So this is the most free.

So what's that it's love has yet. So they get home late. They make out. The dad gets home late and his daughter's mad at him for about two seconds. But uh-oh, then we learn, get ready for a shocking twist. Shocking twist. The police officer who seems to have totally free access to the crime scene at any point. He's on a rampage. He's on a rampage and he keeps harassing this neighbor woman who might be

Katie's mother who lives across the street who won't let her in the house, but Turns out there's a twist. He's not a police officer investigating. No, he is a police officer. He is her husband Bump bump bump her alcoholic abusive husband who as we see in a flashback a flashback so strong it knocks Katie off the bicycle she's right she is writing home after uh... josh two miles uh... briefly breaks up with her thinking that she is actually a murder that's right i forgot the cop puts out an a pb and the local police who are so distracted by the fireworks they're planning for the fourth of july that they don't see what they're notis

they put up the poster which has an artist's simulation of what she looks like now with her new hair Josh to Himal sees it and he says he puts what to and one together yeah to make to make eight and Meanwhile the cops still play it in that fireworks display They he goes back says you're an attempted murderer your name name is Aaron. You weren't going to tell me these things And she's like, I'm sorry. And he's like, you would danger my children forget it. And instead of explaining what actually happened She hops on her bike to go on her ride and the memory is so just hits her so surprisingly and uh, it turns out one night Her cop husband came home to dinner was drinking too

husband came home to dinner. He was drinking too much wine. She said she took the wine bottle away from the table and he said I didn't say it was done with that and they get our star are you going he gets so mad he crushes a wine glass and then he's hitting her really hard and then she stabs him in the side and then puts a bunch of clothes in a plastic bag and I guess maybe it's money I don't know and runs out of the house gets on the bus and escapes so we know takes all his favorite shirt This isn't this isn't yeah, it's just like the great cat's face such a beautiful shirt. I have to take them with me Sheen we know this isn't his job. This is vengeance. He wants his wife back I'm you what with the? With a vengeance. Alright. I've been thinking of a sinister way to end it.

I've got a couple of objections. If he can't have his wife, no one will. Yeah. I have two objections to this scene. One, Simmy Moral, one, just cinematic. The first is that this movie is so terrible that the movie does not earn this, like, twist. Domestic violence scene, which is genuinely upsetting to watch

I feel like but number two just as a point of staging in the film The our main character seems so in love with him at the beginning of the scene and then it escalates so quickly that it seems like You kind of have to assume that this is supposed to be a pattern of abuse but it plays like the first time ever happened in an escalated all the way to her stabbing him and running away immediately. Well they're passionate people. And I don't think any of us have that much experience in being in abusive relationships day in except for potentially this one between me and you right here. Sure.

So you are both drinking. But I think it was awesome and it was almost in black and white. So let's tell you know it was in the past. Wait, what? Almost in black and white, wasn't it? It was in white. It was in like downtown. It was like saturated because you're saturated.

But oh, let's take a moment at this melodramatic twist. Now that you're excited about the movie to point out one thing Which is that as? Stewart I think was who mentioned this where we're watching the movie that this is the perfect fall-up to plane for keeps because there's also about a car a Charisma list personality list person who everyone in town falls in love with the minute Katie rides in the town She's very pretty. Yeah, everyone's up in her business. She's got she's got a totally sweet bottom and she was shorts all the time But she's she had no that it was not me saying that no it was me. I'll admit it for Dan must have thrown his voice about a character with Arguably a character who like you know, we can assume that she marries that guy

After movies in so he's talking about two people's wives in this And this I know I'm the reputation about talking about wives' asses. Because you did that. Yeah, no. It's a fictional character I'm talking about, Dan. All right. With a fictional butt.

OK. She's played by real butt. It's a real butt. But it's a fake butt. But it's a fake butt. OK. It's a stunt butt. OK.

It's all CGI. It's Kevin Kausner, a stunt butt from Principes. The way they did the Crow where they digitally added Brandon Lee's face to a different actor They did this they digitally added someone else's butt to her. I assume. That's why that butt fell into that and can't even But can't even It's a good butt, but it feels creepy too. It was a little too good. It quite good enough. Anyway, she has, she's very standoffish, she's very awkward, she's kind of cold to everybody and yet they all fall over their feet for her. She's got a job potential lesbian chasing her around.

She's got a job right off the bat. She's really attracting this widower with the cute kids and the store, a businessman, a small business owner. Yeah. But she has no, there's nothing about her with the audience. Talk all the way into this beautiful cabin out in the woods. Yep.

I mean, it does, every time they show her house, it does look like the evil dead are about to get her or, as Dan, I think, said that she's about to be straw dogs. My favorite thing is that the one home improvement thing she does is paints the floor. She paints the floor yellow. Yeah, the rest of it looks like it's all the pieces. Yeah, it's a real tuckler. She tuck her in Dale Verish.

She also repaired Joe. She has a paint the floor that she's already stepped through once. She's like, oh, the throw it again. Yeah, this floor is rotten with turnrides. I know it's going to fix us a good coat of paint. That'll keep the possums out. But so I guess what I'm saying is I have to assume the sappers underneath her house. i have to see that was a person

sabotage it i have to assume that everyone in town just like really felt for her but yeah she doesn't have any real personality going for it's a it's a it's a poor the written characters uh... but anyway so meladrama were back they've broken up then the husbands on a trail we know it's her husband and he gets his boss set some down takes his body go away yeah I'm gonna need your gun and back yeah you're too sweaty to work try to

towel off then you can go back to your desk we've had a lot of reports about you being too sweaty around suspects. We've got moistness rules around. Where is the point of the movie where it does look like some crazy guys bitten them on the hand and he's slowly becoming a zombie infected. He is his performance goes quickly from no personality to shambling hard. And it's like someone is it's like he's in the late stages of a movie disease of some kind where it's just swept poor off his face and huge bags under his eyes. He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, like he just doesn't know where he is. So anyway, he decides he's gonna track this bitch down.

He doesn't use those words, but he's gonna track this lady down. Meanwhile, Alex and Katie get back together again. Yeah. He apologizes for jumping to conclusions. Jumping to conclusions based on this whole world. They're the first to that says, suspecting this person of interest, wanted poster down on the police station. Well, I'm pleased to see you will get over this and on the way so we can focus on this

fireworks. Because the fireworks display is coming up, they have really built this thing up and let me tell you, it does not live up to the hype No, I've seen a few fireworks. I consider myself an American patriot Fourth of July just isn't the same without a bunch of fireworks I've seen some good some damn good fireworks shows and let me tell you point awkward fireworks show does not stack up It's just a couple of explosions of color the night sky even It's a little fireworks are off. Bang, bang, bang, bang.

Yeah. Explosion. It's like a Vantoni-ownie directed a fireworks display. I really wanted to get across the unwield of the fireworks. The anticipation makes each firework better. Yeah, it's tantric fireworks. You hold off for five hours, and then you can do fireworks for seven hours.

Maybe that's what makes this place so good. I mean,'s just a fireworks display that continues for a whole week. Well, and we're just seeing it just goes out and slow time. There's a couple great characters on the in the fourth July celebration by which I mean people with giant paper mache founding fathers heads. There's a Franklin, a Washington, and a Lincoln not a founding father, but there's a Franklin and a mash. Yeah, exactly. I do best, founding fathers. Yeah, there's a key in appeal.

A resilient Isles. A, uh, both a Kegney and a lazy. Yeah, a kid and Ali. Wait, uh, a fat man and an a j. Assignment and Simon. A patty Duke and Nally. Wait, a fat man and anj. Assignment and Simon. A patty duke and patty duke. Sure. An aim is an Andy.

Okay. And so forth. And so you get the idea. Things that come in too with an and in the middle. Yeah, say a couple of them to yourself. You know, like my low and odyssey. Play at home. The fly house home game.

Yeah. Pause the five dance right now. Pause it right now. And for 25 minutes, just name duos that have and in the middle cloak and dagger leakage and power man heroes for hire yeah okay you're back so Jacobian Myers yeah it's a great party. Harley Davidson in the Marrow Room. Thunderbolt in Lightfoot.

Anyway, there's a fourth of July party going on. Everybody loves it. The dad and the son decide to go off. He's come around a little bit to accepting Katie and as a member of their group, he was very resistant because he missed his mom. And Katie stays behind with with lexie but uh... nobody seems to care that this shambling horror that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that The police so busy rigging up the fireworks the part of techniques are just not stopping him It is like there's so many times this movie where you ask yourself

Am I the only one who can see this guy? Like is everyone in the movie can they see him is he actually there? Or did like I dream? Turns out that he's a ghost because there's no ghost There's no ghost in this world. There's nothing that's let us there's if the most supernatural thing We've seen in the movie is someone break their foot through a floor board and that's not supernatural. It was clearly the work of something possible to meet the house. Yeah, not even a ghost fossil. Probably not. Probably not. It could be ghost fossil. There's some pretty griebula.

Now, okay. Okay, they fall asleep and has a dream that Joe, her best friend, the possible lesbian and not at all it goes. Joe tells her, your husband's here. She wakes up, she sees it's true. He's outside, she goes down to try to calm down and make him leave. Talk him off. Talk him away. He's like, oh, I love you, I love you, I love you.

And she says, no, she goes, let me take you home. And she goes, I am home. And then he pulls a gun Bump bump bump oh no, he didn't pull the gun yet, right? He starts spraying gasoline all over the place And he's about to light on fire and she stops him he pulls a gun And they walk away and fireworks little you know Flares

Sparta edition to stirring fires within the hearts of all true patriots far worse than dangerous because they might uh... set a fire wear a crazy person is spread gas all over the country store yeah and that's exactly what happens goes up in flames no lexie the gill girl is up there appreciate our state strict for a di fireworks uh... get my own can't set them off accept with municipal permission I appreciate our state's strict fire works. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but I can't set them off, except with municipal permission. Now, there's a fire raging. A fire raging inside us. It's called Hartburn. That's what I'm here to talk to you. Because it's not really your heart. It's me, your stomach. Telling you, do you guys remember my old ads?

I'll see you in the eight- the time. You're my stomach? No, there was an ad. Is that the twist and say name? The twist and say name is I'm Dan's stomach. That doesn't make sense. And tell me. Wait, hold on. I'm going back over. It does make sense. Remember when all that food you ate went into me?

Every piece. I've never seen you and my stomach in the same room before. Gotta go! It's like a real M night shimali an ending. It's called the sixth stomach or the stomach sense. Also, undigestible. And let's not forget. The stomach and the water. The stomach and I think it'll be tummy in the water. It'll be the water. But it'll be the reasoning. I guess crap comes out of your stomach, yes, sure. So boy. Anyway, so there's a fire raging.

Uh-oh, she goes, no, the dad sees it happening. He races back, saves his daughter, and meanwhile, the girl, Kristen and her husband are... Katie. Katie, whatever. Katie and her husband cares. It's the same thing. It's my kids. Kristen and her husband are Katie. Katie, whatever. Katie and her husband cares. It's the same thing. Who the fuck cares?

Katie and her husband are fighting. He's got a gun. Oh no, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. And she pulls the trigger. Boom, shoots him in the head. And he's dead. Oh, he's not dead. He's not the only.

Another movie solved by killing someone. I also forgot to mention earlier in the movie that the sun falls into the water Katie sees it and goes no And that that's what tips off the dead that he needs to jump in and save him so Everyone saves the kids by this point now Okay movies over movies over right the evil husband is dead We can move on with our lives. It turns out movies go our thankfully ghost free. One hundred percent. We ended the movie with no ghost in it. Not a hint of the supernatural or the eerie.

No need to call the ghost busters because we are in control. Not a sight of a phantasmem, nor a hint the various drop of ectoplasm. Nothing. Not even ectopooler. No slimer. No poultry guys. No ghosts of Christmas past, present, or future. Not even a poultry guys.

No specters. Not even Willie guys. The Van Miss NBC's Morning Joe. Nothing. But it turns out the widow, the wife, before she died, wrote letters to all the children and they're labeled like, to Lexi on her 18th birthday, to Josh on his graduation.

To Wong Food, thanks for everything. Do you live in New Mar? I mean, that's the whole letter, but yeah. And she's written one that says to her, and it's to whoever the husband falls in love with next. And it is a long, rambling moment. And it starts you skank. Get away from my husband. Oh, get your hands off my man. And then a ghost jumps out of the envelope love with next and it is a long rambling and it starts you skank.

Get away from my husband. Oh, get your hands off my man and then a ghost jumps out of the envelope and strangles her. No, I wish. Anyway, it's just like the end to drag me to hell. We're the not bad person which a lot of trouble gets dragged hell anyway, but spoiler. That's the moral. The moral is check your fucking pockets before you get on a train.

That's the moral of driving you to hell. Check all your pockets so you know you don't have a cursed coin in your pocket. That's the cursed button in your pocket. It's one of those morals that's really applicable in day to day life. Check your pockets is a great moral. If you live in a place with scorpions, check your shoes too. There could be a scorpion or a cursed button in it. Spayin' into your pets.

I'm Bob Barker for the Prices Right. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do No, it's just the theme sign of the crisis, right? I don't know man save haven anyway, so she's written show Katie is reading the letter You're save haven's been burned to the ground burned to a Chris burned to a crisp extra down to the ground It is blackened crispy style It is occasion style just gumbo Guaranteed that save haven's gone and she reads this letter that that's like, to the woman my husband is in love with. I hope you love him too, because he gave you this letter. He loves you, take care of him, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I'm glad he's found, do we need somebody, et cetera? And- To do this with my kids for life. And you know what's coming from a mile away. You're waiting for the reveal. It's you and they just take so long reveal it. And then finally you see a picture of the wife who died Mm-hmm. It's Joe her friend Joe that you realize now nobody ever saw or interacted with Robin Chibotsky Asian of shield

To shots from earlier in the movie and now this character is disappearing from every single one She just came back to people. So barely no exists. She just came back to vet her husband's new wife. Yep. So they, so a movie that. I can see you fucking my husband. A movie.

You know what? She probably did. They probably had a shot of her like watching the video. Yeah, that's the stuff. She chased out her. Yeah. Yeah, that worked it more. Come on.

Come on. It'll be frightened frightened it's not gonna hurt you You know and he knows Like that no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I'll say down. Okay, okay, why don't you go take a break? You need a breather. You're not just not getting it Let me show you mask. Let me ghost fuck him to show you what I'm talking about because you obviously have no idea what you're doing I'm amazed you got this far in life without knowing how to do it. Let a ghost teacher had to have sex because that's how bad you are at it man man Little angry ghost ghost probably know what we've learned from ghostbusters that ghosts have great flow jobs They make your eyes go cross-eyed make you go cross-eyed in a scene that shouldn't be in the movie So anyway, you're dressed as the point this movie that has not had a hint of the supernatural ends with a ghost reveal boom Thanks Nicholas sparks

Boom, thanks Nicholas Barks, thanks Dave Haven. You did it. You definitely did it. You did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it.

You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it.

You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. You definitely did it. I'm not crying at that giggling ghost. And so we all agreed. The movie should be called Ghost Mom, or help. My mom is a ghost. Or shut up ghost.

Or I divorce to ghost. I don't think I need a divorce to ghost. We're seeing what somebody does to cancer. Yes. I'm just divorced this ghost. So death do we part, but not really? So there are three things about this movie. One, it is super slow and super dull.

But to the point where for the first hour of the movie, almost nothing is happening, but so little is happening that it feels ominous and you're waiting for some terrible, like I was halfway- That's a long edition ask, Ruby. Yeah, well that's what tips the movie more than anything. You're like, there's gotta be more of the movie than this.

And it's the, the comparison I was making you guys was it's like in casino royale after they've stopped it They've stopped the sheep ready won the big Texas Hold'em game. They everything's fine James Bond's balls have healed from getting hit with a carpenter and They're just galloping around Venice for like eight minutes nine minutes and you're like well You're trying to make me think everything's okay, but I know it can't be okay or the movie would have been I just like move that just a travel I get there movies don't routinely end with nine or ten minutes of the characters Just doing fine

So you know that something's gonna happen Because nothing is five minutes. It's not all just gonna be footage of them like smiling in a beach and go Occasionally buying things at a store. Well, I was thinking like perhaps one of the reasons why everyone was acting so awkward Throughout the whole movie was to camouflage how awkward it was that she was talking to a ghost Maybe maybe just like oh if everyone seems weird then it's not weird that her friend Joe just hangs out in her cabin and never interacts with anyone else. But like the lover movie making. Yeah.

The doneness of the first scenes should have built up like a town of cannibals or something like that. You know, or maybe, yeah, maybe everyone's a ghost. Like it really felt like you were waiting for some huge audition twist. And there are twists that come out of nowhere, but they're like super stupid twists. Well, it's like, like what you're saying, the idea of doing something so obvious just

to try and disguise something else. Like they try to obfuscate the fact that the police officer is this woman's husband, so that he goes to their neighbor and is as showing her pictures, have you seen this woman who's clearly his wife? And like, that's his neighbor, as if he's never met these people as if they've never met him like yeah, and she doesn't say anything like Yeah, she ran away from you you abusive asshole. Yeah Like she doesn't or she doesn't like call the the chief of police and be like hey, I mean hassled by one of your drunk cops Yeah, the other thing is, my favorite characters

aside from the founding fathers' favorite mishaheads were the cops who are so enamored of these fireworks that they totally miss this huge drama that's going on beneath their noses. There's a crazy guy wandering the town. There's a suspected murderer dating their best friend. And meanwhile, they just can't get enough of these fireworks. Well, and I like that they're there helping the heroes set off the fireworks.

He sees his house on fire and he's like, oh my god, I gotta go help them. And the cops are like, okay, go take care of that. We got this. We're on fireworks, isn't it? You stop there, you stop there, you stop there, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there, you stop there, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there, you stop there, you stop there.

We're on fire, you stop there, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there. We're on fire, you stop there. We a stabbing, a shot to the head, a fire that endures a little kid, a kid who almost drowns, and the two most exciting scenes in it. One potentially more ghosts. Yeah, oh, potentially ghosts.

Yeah, more than one ghost. The two, for me, the two most exciting scenes in the home movie were a brief conversation about gorillas and kale. And a scene where a little girl recommends paint colors to a woman painting the floor of a kitchen. Yeah. For me, those scenes with movie was like, all right, now we're getting somewhere.

And then the old guy says to Josh Duno, oh, we're selling paint now. Why'd they fucking have paint color chips? I'm gonna look at paint samples. And the dog is so cute. We have a book of paint samples. I did, but- Maybe he's put there by the ghost. Yeah, yeah, the of paint samples. I did, but uh...

Maybe he's put there by the ghost. Yeah, yeah, the ghost has been... That would have been great. The ghost is a paint rep. There was a seer. She gets a ghost mission. It would have been great if there were scenes then of the ghost planting things in different play.

Like, she's sawing away at the floorboard to make it weeks that she has to go to the store. She's putting the paint book in there and then she turns the daughter and goes she pushes the sun into the water so he almost drowns to get that moment going. She's a real pranks or spirit. It's just like that scene and identity with little kids running around killing all those people. Even though it only happened in John q's x head or not even jen the business

yeah john q um look we've gone for a long time i think we can skip final judgments i think it's safe to say that we all thought this was a bad bad good good movie

it was a boobad movie now it goes to it yeah all right boobad boobery not boobad like an advertisement for boob's a boo bad movie. Now it's not a ghost in it. A boo bad. Boo berry. Not boo bad, like an advertisement for booze. Which we probably support. Oh come on, it would be the best selling product in the history of the world.

Speaking of advertisements, I'd like to say a few words about our sponsor for this program. And who is our fine sponsor for this program is Tivo. And look, if you're anything like me, you're like, why is life so damn hard? Everything is bummed, name. Everything is hard, everything's a trial. Well, Tivo has made one thing easier,

at least, watching television. Once upon a time, if you wanted to see a TV show, say you want to see the Cosby show, you have to be at home at Thursday night on NBC and watch that stuff. And for one season, you had to choose between the Cosby show and the Simpsons. Yeah, no more friends. Now, Tivo will record those shows for you so you can watch them. And you can watch them wherever you want and whenever you want.

What if I wanted to watch them at 3 a.m. You can watch it then. What about midnight? Also then. What about 2 p.m.? You can also watch it at 3am? You can watch it then. What about midnight? Also then. What about 2pm? You can also watch it at that point. What about while I'm having a heart attack? You should probably use the hospital,

but watch your done getting yourself checked out. You can come home and watch your show at T-Bot. Well, Thursday nights at the same time is the sense of the stuff. Not the same anymore, but I'm sending. I don't know. While I'm sleeping. All right.

T-Bot. You're sleeping? I watch while you were sleeping. Yes. Now, I know what you may be thinking. A lot of cable providers now have the DVR boxes. Well, Tivo is a better alternative to your regular DVR boxes, because they have things

like Tivo's stream, which lets you watch your TV on your iPad and also transfer your recordings. so you can take them with you anywhere, anywhere, Stuart, to the beach, perhaps. The awkward point. Yeah. To watch fireworks. And only Tivo searches cable bus running from my abusive husband. Yes. Yeah, you don't want to leave all your shows behind. I give. I catch up on a animal life. I get to run a handful of girls. Again, if there's a crisis in

your life, you should resolve that crisis and then get back to television. Okay. But Tivo. Yeah, but Tivo also searches cable in the internet to find any show, movie, or video that you might want to try and find. It makes Netflix, who plus Amazon and YouTube channels on your very own television with Tivo mini. in fact, one Tivo box works with two televisions. Now say you wanted to watch Castle Freak. Sure. You could watch it wherever and whenever you wanted. Now, the important thing to take away here is that visitors to Tivo.com can get $25 off of a new Tvo Premiere P4 or XL4 DVR by using the promo code ATC for all things comedy. And that's at what website?

Tvo.com. And what's that code again? ATC. And what's that website? Tvo.com. I just want to say that Tivo is the best DVR alternative. Better than the crappy time-warner DVR box. The terrible time-warner. The really bad one that breaks all the time. One million times better. And it's up to the point that it circuits melt. I don't want to overstate this in case time-warner turns off my cable, but yes. Now ATC, what does that stand for? That stands for all things comedy. In fact, if you want to go go to allthingscomedy.com, you can find All Things Comedy. Lots of great comedy podcasts. Try them out. You'll love them. I don't even know that there's a

bum one in the bunch. They're part of our big family. Part of our family of network podcasts. They put up with, put up with us, so. Yeah, at Family Occasions, and we are a handful. podcast. We put up with put up of us. So yeah, at family occasions, and we are a handful. But now we're going to move on to the flop house movie mail bag. This first I'll get it. Well, looking the bag and I think you'll find mail. Hey, what the hell is so back full of mail. There's mail over here and mail over there. While looking the bag, you'll see mail everywhere. It's mail for you, Stu, and mail for me. Mail for Dan, and maybe Valerie.

Who's that? I don't know. Looks like it was Mr. Limerard. The address is for next door, so let's take it over when the podcast is through. But for now, it's the mailbag for me and you and Val will get that letter to you. It looks like it's a bill or possibly a paycheck. I Need this we'll get it to you quickly. I don't know what kind of troubles you have in

No, you got a lie on your neighbors. It seems needlessly detailed idea of community I know you're having trouble with your son. He doesn't seem to listen to anyone. This is a segment that we're trying to get into. It's these days they go through troubles but then they're all right at the FOP House mail bag. There's a lot of comfort for Val right there. Oh, she's gone through a tough time.

Man, this is... Yeah said Bill and or Patreon. Yeah, Little Ronnie is acting up again. This letter is from Tim LastnameWithheld. He is no subject, but he starts off his letter by saying, wow, Ali, that letter song was amazing, thanks. Thank you, Tim. Oh, shit, it's very nice to eat a writing and say that, you know, when I write my letters for you,

I really try to think, what would I feel like if I was a letter what would I want to hear? You get into the character of a letter. Look at the character of a guy opening mail He says I've always listened to you waxing lyrical about how delicious Popeyes is from a Popeyes less Britain So until now I've been unable to sandboard's chiggy wonders But now I've moved to Qatar in the Middle East, where Popeyes is everywhere. Popeyes wasn't my main reason for moving, of course, that would be nuts. And a mooch for the nuts? As a Popeyes version.

They have really good nuts there. As a Popeyes version, eager to try this fabled food of the gods, this ambrosia in a bucket. What would you recommend I get? I could even eat along with the next podcast in a Smellivision type of deal and he says, here's the Arabic logo for Popeyes. I wonder if they've literally translated it though like popped eyeballs or something. And so here's the picture. I'm showing it around. Makes me wish I could read Arabic so I could see Popeyes in it. Now, here's my here's my advice. Okay, I don't know how they do it in Qatar, but there's two types of Popeyes.

There's your mild and your spicy. Some prefer spicy, some prefer mild, I prefer mild, but spicy is also very good. Now, Popeyes is a heavy food. You're gonna want to start small. I'd say if you never had a four-start with like a two-piece. Do you have family-sized bucket? No.

Get maybe like a two-piece or maybe like a piece of mild and a piece of spicy. See what you like more. And then build from there. At this point I can eat six, seven pieces in a row sometimes. But for instance- You should know if we reach this version. No, no, no, but for a beginner you're going to want to try just one or two. But hey, I hope you like it.

And if you don't, never talk to me again. No, keep enjoying it and I hope you like it. And if you don't, never talk to me again. Ha! No, keep enjoying it. And I hope you have a great time and cut her. All right, so this second letter is titled Praise from a New Listener. It's from Michelle Last Name with Held. She says, I'm a relatively new listener.

Michelle of Mama. However, she's so lonely in the White House. When I husband, the president last name with Held is away. Well, these ghosts keep bothering me. so I have to listen to this podcast. However, despite my... I'm too sleep. I'm too sleep.

It scares the ghost. It's asleep. I said, every ghost, every day is obstetizing. I never heard any ghost rules. What is this? What is this? Is this in Tobauvin spirit guide? Yeah.

She's going on, dude. She says, despite my short time with you all, the Flop House has quickly become my favorite podcast. The point where the other podcast I subscribe to have a backlog of new episodes. I've ignored and favored listening to an episode of yours again. Beyond my praise, however, I do have a question to pose to the original peaches. If you could add any one film to the criterion collection, which would it be and what special features would you like it to have?

Assume that Castle Freak has already been added and featured a half-hour short film titled Ding Dong Gate, The Making of a Controversy. For me personally, I would love to see Satan Tango. Satan Tango? I don't know how to say that. Get a good release. Is that the Belitar movie? Perhaps.

But in my heart of hearts, I dream for a critical re-evaluation of Freddy Gaff Binger. That's from Michelle. Well Stewart, if you can't choose Castle Freak, what would you choose? And are there any other titles off the table? I think just Castle Freak, so I think I know what you're gonna say. Obviously invisible maniac.

What extras? How to make a submarine sandwich? Yeah, well the magic behind the invisible man. Yeah. Yeah. The man behind the maniac. What about you, Dan? Oh geez, I don't, I mean, I feel like this is gonna go into movies. the man behind the maniac what about you dad

i don't i mean i feel this is going to go into uh... movies we've discussed before or could not you know there are a pair of i'm a big fan of a eighties horror films and there are type of film that doesn't get these sort of critical love that they could even though they get a lot of nerd love, but I think that a maybe a criterion box set of both

An American well with London and return to the living dead would be fun The living dead would be a great criterion and they and perhaps a documentary on the subject of horror comed, and perhaps a documentary on the subject of horror comedies, and perhaps examining why there are a lot of horror comedies that sprung up in the 1980s, and were successful in a way that they have not been at all since. So that's an idea. I've got a couple that I'd throw out.

Obviously, my favorite movie, The Taking of Pelin123. You don't want to commentary from director Joseph Sargent, and if there's any behind the scenes footage of the making that movie I'd oh, I'd love to see it just gonna like that movie captures I feel like that era in New York so well And I'd love to see more footage of them in those real locations But hey, you know, I throw a criterion grandma is to the new batch at me and include both the film and Video versions of the interruption in the middle where the Gremlins break the movie. I'd be happy with that.

And maybe that fan film that was made where someone did a very fancy version of that break that used T-Vo like technology. Oh, right. Or, frankly, here's what I'd love to see. Criterion collection version of either Newkey or Slow Bull at the two worst movies I've ever seen, with Slow Bull especially. If they could track down the people who worked at the Florida Veees, and have them explain themselves. And have them explain themselves, and also the members of the band that wrote the original heavy metal soundtrack to the movie.

I would watch that terrible movie all over again and find out all about how what happens when people reach for the stars would fall into hot lava So this is our third and last letter of the evening because it is it is a very long letter. So buckling guys Oh boy, is it okay? So This is if this is Okay, well, let's see. This is from Josh, last name. Thank goodness.

And it's titled. The weight is going to be soccer stuff. It's titled non-sexual fanfic. Uh-oh. So it starts off like this. Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean under a very handsome sun, Stewart Wellington rides the top of pyramid of topless water-skinned bikini models. Despite the endless wealthy possesses, as dual-air of both the beef-wollington and

Stewart, the character from Mad TV empires, this bevy of Modation to Spades actually pays him for the opportunity to be the hard-bodied mantle upon which he is raised to the stars. The solid gold speedboat that powers the group cuts sharply across the water. Very inefficient. And a spray of ocean splashes against Stuart's sunglasses in a manner that looks so cool that not one, not two, but all four ninja turtles shake their heads and wonder. Hidden within the audience of amazed onlookers. Wait, so the ninjas are just there? Yeah. Hidden within the audience of amazed onlookers,

Josh Hartnett eats a desatisfying hotdog and grumbles something hateful. Stewart pretends not to notice. A bright red plane flies overhead in a great swooping weaving path, leaving a thick tindle of white smoke that reads, I know this is an unorthodox method of communication. But since you never keep your cell phone on you, I really have no other options to

work we have an emergency bag at flopcores quit with the hot dog in and get moving and half the way out but it's a and i have to use it you're ex-girlfriend to do it not my experience elsewhere and calen screams cut from the greatest movie set ever simple

you're killing me nicklaus cage how hard can it be to do a pitch-perfect impression of our greatest American president, Abraham Lincoln? All you have to do is be six, four, where I had it and be better than every other human being who's either existed or been written into a piece of fiction. Damn straight. Surgeon A. Eisenstein never had to deal with this kind of shit.

Elliot, thanks to himself, as Nicholas Cage walks away dejected. Just to introduce your interject there. Surgeon Einstein had to to deal with Stalin so you had way worse things to do But anyway continue. I'm enjoying the story so far Nick might have fiery hell powers, but their useless in the face of a divided nation Something vibrates in Elliot's pocket. Oh, Anne. Why are you still in my life? my life. You've pulled out the phone. Ellie here.

Ellie, you have to get to... Ellie at here. Yeah. Ellie, you have to get to flop quarters now. The world needs the original peaches and Hathaway says, I'm on it. Ellie responds, oh, when Ellie, I love you. Silent hangs in the air. Ellie, it squints and gently chooses her own cheek.

I know. He says before pressing in That's right. He totally hams over that shit Knowing the situation is dire. Elliott sprints from the set and climbs onto the exoskeleton He he constructed from old amies. He didn't have room for in the TV awards wing in his home As he rockets off into the atmosphere and half of his heart skips a single beat from hundreds of miles away She would never stop loving that man. It's weird. Finally, in the vague center of an empty white room, in the vague center of an empty white room,

since a man staring at the brick wall and neighboring apartment, his mind is plagued with uninteresting thoughts and song lyrics. It's warm, it's personality, like a logist in a field. The sad thing is, he can almost remember what it feels like to be a complete human being, full of emotions and insights. But it can't quite pin down the sensation, the same way it bastard can't quite picture his father's face. It wasn't always like this, though. Legend has it that at some point in his life this sad man was once full of joy. In fact he was once what some people would call fun, what happened to this man. He was cursed by the most boring wizard of all time. You would think that kind of playing was subjective, but no. In this instance it is objectively true to say it was the most boring wizard of all time.

By any metric you choose, no wizard was more boring. And now Dan McCoy must carry that curse. Oh poor Dan. A generic ring I could go through the empty right room. Dan answers the phone. Dan there's trouble in the city we need you at flop quarters now. Dan's size puts on his velcro shoes and hails a taxi. even tell him. I have very nice shoes. Our three heroes arrive. Eliden is the armor of ultimate TV achievement, Stuart with two beers and a hoey in each hand,

and Dan with a sigh. All right, teams, this Anne Hathaway. There've been a number of robberies all across the city. So far, seven animals, shelters, have been hit without any suspects. Do you three have any idea who's behind us? Stuart and El look at each other with dashing and most handsome concern. Dan size seven pounds, they say in unison. To be continued, will they catch seven pounds? Will I have a half a way? Finally get the respect you deserve for being awesome is Selena Kyle.

We're all three heroes sharing an unexpectedly gay experience and learn something that never wanted to know about themselves. We already heard that story. Ham overtake Turkey as the traditional Thanksgiving centerpiece. Find that out and more. Next week an Alpha Flop team, men, the Peaches Protocol number two. So that was a very long message. Excellent work. Who wrote that? That was from Josh Lash, named. Nice work, Josh. That's the best flop house fan fiction ever and not only because it was the only The only one without us having sex feature Just barely first place for me. I don't know right I

Have some objections to it if you everyone was perfectly captioned. I feel like there may be some things that were wrong I mean sometimes looking into a mirror can be difficult I feel like there are maybe some things that were wrong with that. I mean, sometimes looking into a mirror can be difficult, man. I coped through my section. Yeah, we both swallowed our grit and just, you know, or with it. When you turn the lights all the way up, sometimes, you know, you just kind of feel like your portrayed is super awesome.

And maybe I was not cashed in the same way. I had my shortcomings, you know. Yeah, you know, man, he was a little too awesome in a way. Yeah, there was a pyramid of babes instead of reverse Peerment that's way more complicated and obviously I had a lot of career pressure that I was under. Uh-huh Yeah, it's true. You just get to relax in a room. Back kick it back. Yeah, relaxin Maxon relaxin Shootin some b-ball outside of the school. Mm-hmm. Couple of guys. I'm too good good. You're CD. You're saying I'm the fresh prince of Bill. You are the opposite of the freshman's.

You are Carlton Banks. But I will smell that Kaby later. Yes. So nice work. I hope Josh does continue to decide to continue that. Yeah, although we may have to go. We may have to continue it if it does continue on the website rather than reading out for there Is your song when parked? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let that whistle, buddy

Your whistle have some of that potato water So next up is the section of the show where to prove that we are not just cynical jerks We recommend movies we actually like something that touched us, moved us, made us laugh, made us cry, made us think, made us think. A movie that for lack of a better word, a for lack of a better word, we enjoyed. Yeah.

Stuart. Well, I'm going to reach into my, my, my Stuart Wellington vault of movies that I've seen. That's what three, four movies's what? Three or four movies? Yeah, three or four movies. This one is the name of the rose. Starlight John Connery, F. Murray Abraham, Christian Slater of the House, et cetera.

It's a weird that Christian Slater's penis got higher building than Christian Slater. No one cash grabber, Christian Slater. Ron Perlman's great net. There's there's a whole bunch of great character actors There's a fat monk who hits himself A lot of great stuff Can it be me to that part? That's a great story It's it was later novelized

I don't know what to say Nope, and correct your chronology is quite an accurate. It's a sexy murder mystery. It is among medieval monks. Among medieval monks. That's a, that's a, that would be a movie that, it hasn't been criteriaized. I'd like to see that as a criterion at a collection addition. If anything, just stuff about the props and the casting process of finding all the weirdo-looking

guys. I'll be around there for a second as if they were hearing me talk about the game, weirdo-looking. I don't think they're in here, you're our opponent. I'd like to recommend a movie called, Our Man in Havana, which is a movie directed by Carol Reed and written by Graham Greene, one of many collaborations by those two. The most famous of which of course is the third man, also the best of them, but... They also made the fallen idol. Yeah. I think there's one more to I can't remember what the name of it was, but but... But Ar man. Yes, Oliver, Grand Queens Oliver. I'll feed.

Neither of them made that. Our man in Havana hasn't gotten the same attention the third man has gotten. It's a lesser film, but it certainly deserves more attention than it, I feel like it has gotten. It has a wonderful cast. It's got Alganus, Noel Coward, Ernie Kovax, Burlives, Ralph Richardson. It's not as amazing as you would imagine from that cast, but I feel like no movie could be as amazing as you imagine from that cast.

It's still pretty great. And it's about a, Alganus is a vacuum cleaner salesman in Havana, who is drafted basically into the British Secret Service by Noel Coward, basically for no reason at all. Because Alganus has a young daughter who loves horses, loves other things, he needs the extra money that this job brings, so he making up intelligence which of course leads to escalating problems both from the side of the British Secret Service and from the side of dire forces in Havana and it's kind of like if the third man was an healing comedy it has that same sort of like drool humor, but as it progresses,

there's also some actual emotional stakes to it too. So that's what I recommend. Our man in a van in 1960. I'm gonna recommend two films, because that seems to be my standard these days. First I'm gonna recommend a movie that's in the theaters now, and I hope you should go see it. Fast and furious six.

No. But I love the way you sang the title. theaters now and I think we should go see it. Fast and furious sex. I love the way you sang the title. I'm going to recommend a movie called Mud, starring Matthew McConaughey and a bunch of other big names and a couple of really talented child actors. It is about two kids who live in the South who while investigating a kind of a band in island near their riverfront homes find a man living there, Mathew Ghanahe, who calls himself mud, and who is this kind of charismatic, but obviously very down on his luck to the point of near homelessness fellow who seems to be on this mission and the kids decide they're gonna help them out with it and they get drawn into what's basically an emotional slash

crime story but there's a lot it's but it's really well made it's got a real sense of place and a real sense of character and the lead kid is particularly really good and there's a lot of it almost it's not as harsh or as bleak as winter's bone but it's almost like if you mixed Winter's bone with like Tom Sawyer, you'd get something like mud, and I really liked it a lot more than I thought I was going to. The other movie I want to recommend also starts with the letter M, but it's not in theaters now, and it's called The Mercenary. And it's a spaghetti western from the late 60s. It reunites the Django team of director Sergio Carbucci and star Franco Nero and takes place during the Mexican revolution of the early 20th century and is about a Franco Nero plays a Polish immigrant who in the speech, perfect English in the dubbed, you know, version of the mercenary of their scene, but

version of the mercenary they've seen. But who is great at fighting, he knows how to use guns, he knows how to use bombs, and these rebels basically hire him to do all the strategizing and things for them and help them lead their rebel band. And he insists on being paid all the time, he raises his rates depending on how hard the fighting gets, and gets mixed up with these characters, and there's betrayals and backstabbings and tight escapes and gun battles, and it's really funny in a way that a lot of spaghetti westerns aren't, or try to be but don't quite get to, and it's really nice as kind of like a comedy pairing with Django, since Django is such a bleak movie in a lot of ways. So that's the mercenary, which I recommend. So movies that begin with M, all of them are good.

All of the mud, the mercenary M, Mulholland Drive. Moster's in Fort Worth. And Moster, yeah. Mary to the mob. Monster, monster in law, monsters ink, the unreleased monsters you. Mike Cousin Vinny. Mike Cousin Vinny.

Mike Cousin Vinny. Mike Cousin Vinny. Mike Cousin Ronnie. The Unreleased Monsters you my cousin Vinnie my cousin Vinnie my cousin Vinnie my cousin Ronnie Well, we did we did a Harold guys we did yeah, somebody run across the stage and say can I that's our first half? Yeah, I Think that means it for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington. You said it like you're depressed that you're steward Wellington. I'm giving up. No, come on, you got that paper in the base. You got that paper in the base.

I'm going to do it on the back again. Great, and the best motivator in the world, Elliot Kaelin, on the drums. You made everyone. Bye. Is that a plot? This friend, Mundo Garucian. And of course, Soda. Which is a weird al-joke. It's not even my made-up joke.

There's of course aluminum-can skin-backer. And... J-Job a little blab. Uncle Lars Orich. my made-up joke. There's of course aluminum-can skin-backer and... Job of the Black. Uncle Lars Orich. Yup, there's Flav of the butt. And of course, let's not forget Fart Hater and Princess Relayah. Okay now do now do land of counter-resue. I did already. His mando garusis. Okay, now do... Do Dengar.

Dengar? Oh yeah, that's a guy. Do Dr. Amazon. And Pandababa.