The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #129 - A Good Day to Die Hard

Episode Date: June 29, 2013

Yippee ki-yay, mother floppers. 0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 39:03 - An old man goes to Russia and crashes a lot of cars.39:04- 43:35- Final judgments.43:36- 47:14- A word from our sponsor.47:15 - 1:00:59 - Flop House Movie Mailbag1:00:01 - 1:04:41 - The sad bastards recommend.1:04:42 - 1:06:22 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Old cops never die hard, they just fade away. In this episode we discuss, I'm Dan McCoy. So guys, how you been? No, you gotta say your name. No, no. Uh, what a day of it. No, no, no, who are you? Wait a minute.

I'm steward Wellington. There we go. And right over here, who am I? Elliot Kaylen, your humble narrator. How are you guys doing? As Stuart Dan and Elliot sat down to record tonight's podcast. Oh boy.

It was an eerie mystery in the air. The mystery of the punctured clock. I don't know. We clues that would take them all the way to the dreary ducks. We got a couple. Old man, but barnacle that would take them all the way to the dreary ducks. Old man McBarnacole would tell them the story of the mystery of the random rock. It would take them all the way to City Hall for the mystery of the missing file. Somebody called. They would talk to Mayor McChee's for the mystery of the

high cholesterol. Somebody call Alfred Hitchcock to the three investigators, am I right guys? Nope. They have mystery of the lame reference. Adam McChee's close. So as you were saying, this is the flop house. We talk about mysteries. No. Not like the mystery is what happened to the die hard franchise because this is a bad movie podcast. And tonight we watched a good day to die. What's a bad movie? We make a bad poop bad movie every episode. Bad poop. You're going to say it was made for a while. You're gonna say it was not only for a while from the speaking Heist by my own my own guitar. I'm so infrequently I'm sure I said the hoist batard phrase wrong so everyone gratch me on that too. No This is a movie where we all watch a bad movie together. It's a movie where we do that

God damn it This is podcast about his fair play we watch a movie together bad one probably, and then we talk about it afterwards. And we saw another bad one tonight. Our record I think is two and four hundred. I think on movies we like to have bad. Spoiler alert. I thought it was three. I thought we liked Journey to the Mysterious Island.

Oh, what was it? Well, I, Bradst was the other one I mentioned. Yep, and St. Oh. Oh, and St. Oh, and it was pretty fun actually, yeah. So, yeah, we watched. And you know what 12 rounds has its moments 10,000 BC terrible in the worst seven pounds

No good bad bad day of die hard. We'll get to know about to find out So movie did we watch the latest in the chronicles of John McLean. Yep The McLeanacles So you may recall John McLean from Die Hard. You may also recall from Die Hard to Die Harder. There's a number of the vengeance number three, Die Hard with the vengeance. And then there's a what was it? Live free or die hard?

A movie based on a license plate. And so this is a good day to die hard. But it was actually a bad day to watch a movie boy Thanks, thank you Jean-Challet Yeah, that's the kind of the you would say you reviewed this movie. This is a regular under siege set in Russia John McLean is like It's like speed on a Russia

Yeah, it's like M night Shyamalan's devil, but they're speed on a Russia. Yeah. It's like, M. Night Shyamalan's devil, but they're all in a Russia. You mean, hella Vader? You mean, it should have been called hella. Devil and a blue Russia? Yes, during Denzel Washington. So, is that the one where he's fighting a demon? No, that's ascension.

I think it's going to be. No, it's fallen. Fallen. Look, I knew it was about vertical movement. Mm-hmm. About a demon that can jump from body to body. Similar to a hella Vader. Ascension I think it's falling fallen look. I knew it was about vertical movement The demon that can jump from body to body similar to a elevator and a rolling stone song all the time Yeah, Devlin of Lodres was a period mystery. Yeah, based on the Walter Mosley series of easy rowings The mystery was what's a period? Dense a Washington set down with his mom and his mom explained it to him. Yeah, very embarrassing very awkward

Like a comma. So Daniel. So, should we say what happens in this movie? Probably not. A good day to fly bar. Probably not indeed. Probably not indeed. Oh boy, a good day to die hard. We open in Moscow, Russia, where a corrupt Russian official is incriminating a political

prisoner named Kamarov, who's some sort of... Billy Connelly. Governor of the... He's just a guy with the beard. Not even with the beard as a Billy Connelly impersonator. That's why around Christmas you think they're Billy Connelly's flooding the streets for goodwill. No, they're Santa's helpers. Not Billy Connelly's helpers.

Because I'm always asking him... head of the class trivia what's arvid really what i don't like to make phido was it like to be robbed of your greatest gift your to your talk it if this you know share and so forth uh... this guy is get this guy com rob's gonna get up an unfair trial but he's offered and by this by chagarin the other guy he says if you hand over a secret file guy is going to this guy, Kamarov is going to get an unfair trial, but he's offered by

this by Chagarin, the other guy. He says, if you hand over a secret file, I'll let you go. Bum, bum, bum, what's in this file? We don't know. We go to, we're in New York where Jack McLean, don't know, John McLean is, is, come on. We see him for this. That, uh, America's hero, John McLean. No, no, Jack McLean, John McLelain's son was a tonight club and shoot somebody yeah

and says that com are of his ball or something meanwhile john mcclain and wipe eighty cop turned part-time superhero full-time dad except not turns out he's not a good dad uh... is in a shooting range where a friend of his i guess tells him that his son jack mcclain is in russia on trial for murder and uh... he should go get him Yes, we're officer exposition shows up with it with a file And and a plane ticket probably yeah, and and I don't know train pass

You're trying to take a train to Russia from New York if it was the world of total recall the remake Mm-hmm, you could just take the corov Corovator from the colonies and the Empire England. I don't get that part. Anyway he goes to Russia where he meets a friendly cab driver who sings a little bit to him in the best and only enjoyable scene in the movie for the most part. It is it made me realize more than action movie I think I would have liked to have seen a movie about Bruce Willis as an aging American cop, literally on vacation in Russia, just interacting with Russians and kind of getting mixed up

and we're both falling around. We're a real before sunset. I don't want to- Yeah, exactly. Like a reverse Moscow on the Hudson kind of deal. Yeah, Hudson on the Moscow. The exact opposite. He goes to Russia to start his own police force. He

defects and there's hilarious mishaps because he's a lovable old New York. Oh that's pretty good. Like a police academy goes to Moscow. Yeah they did that though. He's called Mission to Moscow. Oh wait a little. No, it wasn't Moscow nights. Was it white nights? No and it was not many in Moscow. It's either. it night riders George Romero's retelling of the Arthurian legend I'm not No, it was not that neither was night in the city It is weird that I asked you whether it was that thing You knew what it was. You were the blood that was it wasn't first night was Sean Connery wasn't dragon night all right

None of those we know when it was it was from the crib's demon night. It was not neither was it word? Delo of blood see we're like the carver who like chips away everything in the marble that's not an elephant You know like we're like telling you what good day That marble madman is in case the elephants are marvel killing They're called manics No, those are mammoths not elephants like that the one thing we remember about 10,000 mammoths, not elephants. Like that the one thing we remember about 10,000 DC is what they call mammoths in it. You're going to need to draw me a sketch on that piece of paper that's a fairly. No, it's necessary for later.

Anyway, John McLean goes to Russia. He goes to the courthouse where his son is about to go on trial. His son's going to turn state's evidence to get off the charges against this guy, Kamarov, but uh-oh, there's a terrorist attack on the courthouse. It seems like dozens of people are killed. They're gonna try to kidnap Kamarov and Jack McLean, but they've already escaped. And Jammeklain's like, not again.

Not again. And he keeps saying, I'm on my vacation. Which he's not. He went there expressly to get his son who's mixed up with some sort of criminal stuff. Technically, he's probably using vacation days to do it. I would think so, but that doesn't make it a vacation. It's a working vacation, let's see.

Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't going to relax in sunny Russia. So, the same way, if you took vacation days off to take care of a sick parent, you wouldn't be like, oh, it's my vacation. Yeah. Like, you have a purpose that you're doing. Shut up about your ventilator, dad.

It's like if Richard Greco. I'm on a break. It's like if Richard Greco and if Loesch could kill, kept calling that a vacation. When, in fact, he was on a school trip, right? Exactly. Well, it's kind of a school vacation. Man, what if we watched if Loesch could kill him? Point is Linda Hunt had a necklace that was a whip.

And there were x-ray glasses that could see through ladies clothes. Yeah, sure. And one of those ladies who's clothes you got seen through gets shot by a missile launcher. It's totally gross. It's a movie. A movie built for 13-year-old boys.

And speaking of which, a good day to die hard. It's starring a 30-year-old teenager played by Richard Greken. Not actually Greek. Now, they're... Matt actually Richard. John McLean is running around and he runs into his son and he says jack and jack's like dad and and his like get away from here and

john McLean's like what are you doing with your life on the here to save you and he's like i don't need you blah blah blah they get into a big any points again that is that he points a gun in his dad and says dad back off he drives away with comorov the bearded old man uh... so they're in a truck jack Mclanan comorov being chased by the bad guys and some kind of military mega force super truck and then behind that is john maclan in a series of vehicles that he steals from people yeah you like punches out of civilian at one point it is like

who's like like angry at him because he's crashed into his car something and that he's talking about shan is that and john clanders like i don't understand you know that it takes his car or something and like he's talking to Russian and John the plane Just like I don't understand you and punch his man. It takes his car Which if this was a satire it would be a trench in one about how America deals with the rest of the world Yeah, I don't understand you punch to the face instead. It's this dumb stupid diehard movie Yeah, it's a part that is clearly in there for the audience to cheer like yeah, I hit that ruse cake that commie It's there's so much of this movie that would have

got a hammer and signal up your took us. Oh, it's a Jewish guy saying, yeah, there's so much in this movie that would have made sense if the movie was made in 1987. Like if this was an Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, Dolph Longer and the type movie. Yeah, Dolph Longer and Blaze Arnold Schwarzenegger son. Yeah, even though they're roughly the same age Really, I mean, I don't know. So it's not that much older the dog longer and has an age at all You look great. Very poorly Now so they get on this long car chase that takes about a hundred minutes and they

Smash a billion cars Russia is just Moscow is laid waste. They're destroying the streets. Cars are crashing for no reason. They're jumping off of overpasses onto cars. It's not a single police officer or agent of the government insight. No, not the whole time. You would think that, that Russia was just this lawless wasteland. That they, you might, right, Moscow might as well be barter town for the amount of law that comes. Yeah, it feels like they decided to set this movie in Moscow because they couldn't think of a crime riddled or like lawless, yet super populated city in America to do it in. Yeah, it was, yeah, they could, like Detroit's not quite bad enough yet.

Well, Detroit is not a population. Detroit is not a population now, right? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we gotta wait till Robocop era to. Yeah, that's true. What if we were watching Robocop? Oh, that would be great tonight. Why can I not remember the place where Wolverine would go where he was patch

Madreport so it's like if they went to they're like we madreport doesn't exist a place where the only Local industry is crime. So I guess we'll go to Moscow instead. Anyway, I'm glad you remembered madreport So they eventually John McLean catches up with them After leading everyone on a merry chase and it turns out that Jack McLean catches up with them after leading everyone on a merry chase. And it turns out that Jack McLean his son, not the criminal that John McLean feared he was, he's actually an undercover CIA officer who has been working with his partner, Cole Hauser, to get... About two seconds.

Well, to get Comraov out, because Comraov has this magic file that everybody file that everybody wants this like with some kind of secret information that apparently will either get given the goods on the bad guy in the government or it'll help them find nuclear missiles or something project mcguffin yeah it is very much project mcguffin unfortunately not project x no there's no chimps in this movie what is she we're a party thrown at a house by high schoolers. Or chimps throwing a party at a house. Now we're talking. And the chimp parents are at a time.

We're calling Project X squared. That's the sequel. Hollywood get on it. No, Hollywood pay us money. We'll get on it. $700,000, please. It's the going rate for our squares. Yeah, we have an infrastructure setup

for making that kind of a movie. Yeah. An infrastructure, yeah. I'll just put it under our house cat production system. Yeah, we are a corporation now. Anyway, people don't know about that. But anyway, their CIA safe house is breached and attacked by the bad guys. Cole Hauser is shot in the forehead.

Of our natively destroyed. Just in time. The first time a bad guy shoots a good guy in the entire, well, only time spoiler alert in the entire movie I wish that Cole house or had then gotten up to the bulletin's head Put his hand out the director put a check in his hands and then Cole house or walked off the set Sort of a better movie that happened Bruce Willis and his son are running around just dodging stuff and Bruce Willis picks up a gun shoots like 30 guys and

Just keep running into his bullet stream. Yeah, and Comerov, the guy they're trying to protect to the CIA want to bring out of the country, because he knows where this magic dossier is that has McGuffin stuff in it. He gets shot in the arm, and let me tell you this movie could've used a real shot in the arm.

Yeah, thank you. Anyway, they have a guy. Anyway, put on your advocates. They escape and Comerov calls his daughter and said he says I have to I'm not leaving to go to America unless my daughter comes with me and it's like all right We'll meet after you after you see that daughter you understand cuz Vava boom. She's a Russian bombshell She's a regular regular babe of it

hot ski babe of it Hatsuki babe of it the She we've seen the problem is when we see her they meet her up with her at this abandoned ballroom in a hotel or something and We recognize her she was involved with the bad guys in the beginning, but the good guys don't know that she comes over She says where's the file and he goes I've got like the key to the file here he's hidden it behind a radiator in this ballroom and Bruce Willis knows something's up he's like hey hold on a second there's a lot of traffic in Moscow this is something you've turned earlier I learned that an hour ago from this

from this cat driver saying to me this cat driver was saying Frank Snatcher songs to me in the only good scene in the movie and she she's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, suddenly bad guys show up. Turns out the daughter is in kahoots. And she puts a gun to her own father's head. Totally a big surprise, right? And she's like, why are you doing this? And she goes for millions of dollars or something. Uh, now John McClain and Jack McClain.

Because I'm a hot lady. I'm a hot Russian lady. That means I'm a villain. They are treacherous. John McClain and Jack, yeah, she's basically the Baroness from GI Joe. now john mcclennan jack mcclennan i'm a hot lady i'm a hot russian lady that means i'm a villain they are generous john mcclennan jack yes she's basically the barreness from gijou yep or uh... natasha from uh... from rockin bullwinkle uh... sexier than tasha she's basically uh... i don't know i don't know how

she's basically sexier than natasha from rockin bullwinkle it's a weird fashion i never knew you had i do not know two-dimensional weird weird looking brushes, five-bedded. Very modern cartooning style. Yeah, I don't know. She's Zena on a top from Golden Eye, basically. Now, she, it turns out John McClane and Jack McClane have some daddy issues, father-son issues. John McClane was never there for his son. This seems to be the root of their problems that he was working too much. When Jack was growing up, which is weird since earlier we see John McClain's daughter drive him to the airport to go to Russia and they

seem to have a great relationship. Did they patch it up in the last movie? Yeah, that was what he was working too much. And then he's saying, I'm terrorists and then they're a good family. Oh, okay. So that's all, if you're a deadbeat dad, this all you have to do is save your child from terrorists. Kill like a shillow to do. Yeah. And just Kevin Smith dying. Well, I mean, like they got to be, they got to be, they specifically have to be terrorists.

I don't know. They have to be telling you. You can't just go and a murder spray. Wait, there are, there are deadbeat dads who have tried to make it good by just killing a bunch of random people. So that doesn't work. So that's the first episode of Hannibal, am I right? No, that doesn't.

Oh, good one. High five. Topical reference. Very much like the first episode of Hannibal. A show, not a cannibal. Not a cannibal, but so much more. I like to imagine there's a scene where Hannibal is pushing his shopping cart through the grocery store

and he sees on the shelf a man witch. He goes, if only. If only you lived up to the name. his shopping cart through the grocery store and he sees on the shelf a man which he goes if only if only you lived up to the name. That's a reason to when it's scripted by the Dexter writing to you. Yeah. When he starts complaining about his dark past. I thought I thought you were going to say like he like goes through and he's like and the he's got a bunch of vegetables in his cart and he's like oh one oh, one of the people there's like, Oh, what are you making?

He's like, Oh, I'm going to make a bull egg nazi sauce. He's like, well, he needs a meat for that. He's like, well, get my meat somewhere else. And then he's and he wakes up the camera. He hits that person with a crowbar. Puts them in his cart. Yeah. But here's another idea for a problem.

And they stand animals pushing. And it comes up human meat, $1.40 a pound which is a race right? Are you saving this? Yeah, you better save this in 7 to 8. NBC is gonna seal it. The National Bramcasting organization is gonna steal it. I'm gonna take this podcast. I'm gonna put it in a postmarked envelope

and I'm gonna mail it to myself. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. And then it's like you got a present from a member of an admirer. You open it up at the office. You open it up at the office and it's a good idea and then it's like you got a present from a member admirer You open up at the office You open it up the office and it's a letter to you from you with like lipstick kisses all over and you've sprayed perfume on it Someone has an admirer. Let Dan this letters from you. You signed it from you Dan

You're just jealous flower delivery flowers from an admirer? He knew he needed a pick-me-up, do you think? In a sense. Sometimes you gotta treat yourself. Here's my other idea for a Hannibal promo. OK. He's pushing a cart through the grocery store. He goes to the butcher counter, and he says, I'll take 10 pounds.

And then the camera pans over. The butcher is cutting up human parts, Mads and Michaels, and looks at the camera, winks, then it shows him waking up from sleep, and looks at the camera, and goes, if it shows him waking up from sleep and looks at the camera, goes, if only, only in my dreams, Hannibal, Thursdays at 9. He's a Hannibal. Get it? Mad about Mads.

Anyway, that's good. That's a hashtag trending people. Mad about Mads. Mad about Mads hashtag. Why isn't it happening? I wanted the top of the trending right underneath the sponsor trend from Eminem, that's good. The hashtag trending people mad about mad about mad hashtag. Why isn't it happening? I wanted the top of the trending right underneath the sponsor trend from M&M that's like hashtag melts in your hands And you name things that melt in your hands that are not M&M's you know like Like boners I

On the boners That's wait wait no, I can do it. Do better. Ice. The boners. You have boners, shape types. An icy boner. Anyway, don't even talk about that. It's not a good data that hard.

John McCain and Jack McLean don't have a way to do it. John McCain. I would love that. John McCain and Jack McKean. Oh, it's me, John McCain. Finish the dang movie. I crashed here I should classic love as impressions of

I be John McCain Arizona Downs over here I ran for their president. See these United States. I be John McCain Captain McCain anyway, so John McClain and Jack McClain don't have a great relationship. They're working out their issues. They bicker a lot, but that bickering doesn't stop them from teaming up to pull the fast one on the Russian main henchmen who is one of these flamboyant villain henchmen you see.

He starts dancing for no reason. His henchmen all have crazy haircuts One of them looks like demolished it looked like Wesley snipes and demolition man Name Simon Phoenix I keep saying Simon says before he kills people. I thought that says died. Oh, that's right. He doesn't go Phoenix says No, that was what he has in common with the third die hard movie. Simon says. Yeah. Yeah. brings it all back to round die hard. Anyway, the heroes out with the bad guys, they shoot them all. They get attacked by a helicopter gunship, which happens a lot in this movie.

But helicopters are super exciting still, Elliot. That's true. And it's just like the scene in Star Trek Into Darkness where Comberbatch uses a spoiler word. Spoiler, it uses a helic—a futuristic helicopter gunship. A helicopter. A helicopter laser ship. Although shooting bullets, I think. But anyway, the most exciting part of this action sequence involving a helicopter and people crashing through

a construction site and jumping through windows is when the villainess is running towards the helicopter and the wind from the rotor blades is blowing up her dress so you can see the top of her tights of her stockings. That is the most, I guess I think we can all agree that that glimpse of the top of her stockings is the most exciting part of that scene. And I'm a perversive, ladies and gentlemen, exhibit A. This is an example of how unexciting the scene is. Yeah.

Stuart is pouring something from a flask into a glass, but it sounds like he's peeing. And he's got a hammer and sickle. Oh, flask. And very appropriate. Why didn't you screw this on? Why didn't you use that during the red dawn episode? He's putting, he's pouring vodka from a hammer and sickle

Flask into his his glass and here comes the Shwebs for this movie was in Russia Did you so did you theme your drink specifically because of this sometimes sure today I did anyway so they don't The McKinsey gun rounds the McLean's escape. They jump out of a building jump down a pipe or something John McLean says about 40 times I'm on vacation again because he's not and they find out that the bad guys are going to sure noble Bump bump on because that's where the Files are probably going crazy. They're trying to stop these falling helicopter shooting buildings. Nope. Don't see them Yeah, massive car wrecks. They are to be a lawless wastless wasteland they are too busy I assume stopping bears from wandering the streets with graft probably yeah there's probably a lot of shots of the people of Russia morning the death

of all their country now nothing else the people of Russia might as well be ants for all the worth their mortality is given in this, the fifth diehard movie. They are treated like the worst of computer player characters where they have no existence, whatsoever. It gives you the impression that Russia is a land of buildings and self-driving cars and like a handful of bad guys and as you put it in one of that in that car uh... the car chase it felt like it was like a car chase that was just trying to get people excited about the idea of a bigger car smashing into smaller cars

like it's not actually exciting like it's well this is the car chase equivalent uh... of the end of bad boys to where they just uh... care in through a shanty town and Cuba killing God knows how many people. Not even God knows, even God's good and good men. Care's because they're foreigners, so it doesn't matter. Here, there are a couple of moments in the car chase that are neat stunts, but yeah, it's not exciting and you just keep thinking about all the people they're hurting, you know.

And every neat stunt, they just, they immediately cut in like five different ways so you don't actually get a full impact on the crash. The guys, guys, it's all for the greater good of John McLean, re-enacting with the sun. Re-enacting with the sun, yeah. So they go to Chernobyl, all the bad guys are there. They, it turns out that... Bad guys, no mutants though, right? No mutants, this is...

Unfortunately, and the radiation seems to be very easily dispersable when they get to Chernobyl they show up in radiation suits they open a door with their magic key and then they like what set up like bug zappers that we get rid of radiation and suddenly it's okay this the most irradiated site I think on earth that humans have have itated, you know, and it's, they're like, whatever, we'll just walk around. I don't know. No mutancy. Like there are a couple of Dr. Manhattan's or something. A couple of doctors, Manhattan.

But it turns out, uh-oh, there was no magic file to begin with, only crate after crate of weapons, grade uranium, which they can sell. The worst kind of uranium. For millions, and the tap dancing guy is like, where's the file? Great after crate of weapons grade uranium, which they can sell the worst kind of your radiance. For millions. And the tap dancing guy is like, where's the file?

You told me there'd be a file here. And Comerov, the bearded, lovable guy that has been taken hostage shoots the henchmen in the head, turns out he was behind at the whole time. So wait a minute. And he's a villain and it turns and he shoots the guy and then goes Like that and Dan pointed out that now that he knows he's a villain. He has to hammer it up Before the character thought he was a kindly old man, so he didn't hammer him now. Okay, so this guy's plan was I guess to get Get captured. Yes, and then get

get uh... get captured yes and then get broken out of the during a bombing yes and then get captured again so we go to this uranium which apparently he couldn't go to on his own for some reason he was in jail i guess yeah i don't really understand how this all fits together this twist somehow it's related to the politician who is threatening him and then there's a bad guy politician and comor of calls shagarin the bad guy politician is in a sauna with a with a hefty with strong nurse and he's like it's me I escaped and I've got

uranium now goodbye and then the nurse snaps shagarin's neck because apparently comor of has henchmen everywhere with Russians always killing each other in saunas. It's where you're most vulnerable. You're not wearing clothes, you're all sweaty and gross. But it seems like such like a tacked-on thing, like. Yeah. Hey, just like the car chase where they're like,

hey, remember car chase that are actually, so I think this was like, I remember that scene and it was the most interesting thing. But since we're nude vigo mortensen fights those guys. Well, at least make it saunas-specific. Like, having a beat together to death with branches or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but they like that in Russia.

He, that's what he paid for. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, good. He made me hard. Beat me hard, please. I am Russian and so forth. At this point, this is what I'm committed to it. Yeah, at this point, the McLean's enter the vault. They learn the true story of the real life story of how their life got flipped turned upside down

they want to take a minute tell you all about it. Just sit right there. Tell them all about story about how they became a good day to die hard. Of Belair. Created by Andy Borowitz. And then there's just a bunch of fighting as they fight the bad guys all around. There's a lot of helicopter spin. There was a real shooting moment. A lot of helicopter spinning. There's a big shirtless guy with a gun. Who's like Zangief from Street Fighter.

Yeah. They're expecting like a good fight, but. No, exactly. This huge guy shows up and I assumed they're gonna do their take on the scene in Raiders where Indiana Jones has to fight that big bald Nazi. And the Nazi is just punching him. And then the propeller kills him. It's an amazing scene, but instead the guy is just shooting them and they blow them up.

Yeah, yeah. And just like, yeah, just like that chick in, if it looks good kill, he just gets totally roasted. Yeah. Saying, he's like getting roasted alive. Just flame broiled. Yeah. Flash ride. Yeah. Like you didn't even have a shirt to protect him. And when the explosion happens, Bruce Willis and his son are behind like Bruce Willis is behind a big metal box and his son is behind a pillar. And you literally see the flame rush out towards the sun and wrap around the pillar, all around him and then it cuts away

and when it comes back, he's fine. He was behind this pillar. So even though flame has literally touched him, he is not synched. It's like, if you ever tried to take a piece of hardened beef jerky and just stuck it in like a fire grill. Always.

It doesn't do anything to that jerky, man. So you're saying the guy is a piece of hardened beef jerky. I'd say the reason the John McLean is meant to be. No, no, but this is Jack McLean. He's like a regular, the jerky brother. I believe that John McLean is a smoke to dried smoked dried cured me i don't believe that of a son i have to say i want to make it clear that uh... this movie the screenwriter this film

uh... also wrote such films is hit man uh... swordfish amazing and x-men origins will read yet flop house favorite and uh... wait didn't he also write uh... max pain yes another director director of this influence of flop house the influences still allowed to make films now so

the sun goes after what made it makes no sense bruce willis goes after the young woman with the helicopter the evil daughter and the sun goes after the old man with a gun uh... they're all fighting bruce willis gets with the helicopter, the evil daughter, and the sun goes after the old man with a gun. They're all fighting Bruce Willis gets on the helicopter. The daughter is like haha, haha, haha, shooting her helicopter guns at the roof of this Chernobyl building. There's a truck inside the Chernobyl inside the helicopter because it's full of uranium stuff or whatever. I don't know. And Bruce Willis gets in it and chainsains it to the side of the helicopter gets in his car says Yippee Kaya mother fucker just to himself and then drives out just drives it out the back of the helicopter To unbalance it and then there's a scene where it looks like Bruce Willis is trying to steer the helicopter

With the steering wheel in a truck that's hanging out the back of a helicopter He's giving it on him years, Elliot They should really take his license away, as I'm saying. And the sun is fighting the ultimate villain, Comrav. But it's weird, Comrav has this gun and he's firing anywhere but at his enemy. And the sun picks up Comrav.

And literally, and if he is the Comrav is totally at his mercy, just throws him over the roof into the rotor blades of the helicopter, which cuts him up into blood. It looks like a mortal combat fatality. It's like when Dark Venix totally turned Professor X to a bunch of particles. But it really, it's like something out of, like one of those weird Japanese action movies where it's like school girls with blades that come out of their butts.

And there's a lot of CGI blood. Like it was that kind of fakey blood. We always complain about a lot of flop house movies doing cuts or flashbacks to scenes. There were only a little bit earlier in the movie and I really wish that right before he threw him into those blades there was a cutback to when Comerov was trying to convince Bruce Willis that there's still a chance that he and his son could reunite. Like the idea of like this bad guy kind of helped heal the wounds between the two of you and

now you're tossing him into the middle of the water. You should be paying me I'm a therapist I'll pay you in death. Insolvenia Russia helicopter chops up you. Enjoy your trip have a nice fall. Yeah, throws them out and That and the daughter doesn't even notice that she just killed her father with the helicopter blades. She in a She's experienced spirit you know, but yeah In David Bowie is Titus and Roger this the story They're eating till the sweeten in these pies. No, whatever David Bowie. I'm a generally Rome.

Tuddus and Roger Miss. Freak out in a moon-aged daydream. Let's dance. I just ate my own child in a pie. Put on your red dress and scannable. Hannibal so I can't think of a single other thing that happens in Titus and Roger's who would play Aaron the Moore the best character in the whole play Somebody let's just say Lenny Kravitz

I wish I couldn't get Hannibal animals in the audience watching tradition Drachen is like finally he's finally something for me I mean something for me but he's a vampire now He's eating a giant sandwich with a human hand sticking out of it And it usher says sir no food in the theater hi hi hi Hannibal wings of the camera and he goes to cover Fill me now and run to cover his mouth with his hand and he realizes it's already gone chopped off at an animal's mouth oh the usher

even Hannibal was eating his own man he could be dude who cares it's a movie anything can happen in the movies in the dark we could be heroes I'd say's Roger this. Anyway, she somehow knows her father's dead. She does a suicide plunge of the helicopter into the building, failing to kill any of the heroes. Well, who for the 18th time.

Probably killing herself. She does kill herself. The helicopter explodes. Yeah, but we don't see her. Yes, we do. The helicopter explodes. So she's totally roasted as well. Yes, she's totally roast. She's really attractive

So if you could say that she survives the helicopter look I would love if she survived I just burned all her clothes off The fire only burned off her clothes and made her sweaty. She goes oh my And she tries to cover up, but it's too late. We've seen everything Now consider I would love for her to surround, considering my two favorite characters in the movie are the singing cab driver and the tops of her two stockings. Now Bruce Willis and his son for the 18th time jump out of some windows, just hoping there's something below them that will not kill them when they hit it they fall through a glass skylight into a swimming pool because

of course your noble has a swimming pool as a unwitting victim of a knee injury and how does that make you feel like I played the knee card a lot. Bruce Willis is got to be a million years older than you. Yes. A million knees are just about that old. There is evidence in ancient prehistoric carvings of Bruce Willis. Just there's, it's a stick figure with a squint

and a smirk on his face. And sometimes a cigar and sometimes a harmonica. It's a dig out of a Bruno-type stick figure. Now when he leapt out of a building earlier and fell through several layers of scaffolding into a dumpster, did I think every bone in his body would be shattered? Yes, I did think every bone in his body would be shattered? Yes, I did.

Everybody in his body shattered the one. Most few men have more than one boner. The lucky ones, the lucky ones. Well, there was that one guy. There was a man years ago who was a side show performer who had three legs and two penises, both working penises. He was Italian. So five legs is what you're saying.

Yeah. And people used to ask him, do you feel bad having three legs? Do you do envy people who have two legs and you would say do you envy someone with one arm? He was very pro pro himself, you know very confident, but having two working penises will do that It's like a nice guy give you a lot of confidence and he could get a soccer ball with his third leg You think he had sex with two ladies in the same show. He had to have. Come on. Yeah. I mean, like just out of here. I mean, like, women wouldn't necessarily like find him attractive, but just, but just not, but not necessarily just out of curiosity.

There's got to be some women who are like, let's do this. Considering Chang and Eng, both my buddies who had sex with them and bore children, I would have to assume that they did. And I'd like to believe that he had sex with Symey's two and women, that he met maybe in the side show. Yeah, yeah, on one of those okay cupins. It's like a real love match. You wouldn't need the okay cupid because they work together.

It's a workplace romance, but the work they had. They had to push them together is when they realized that they found each other on okay cupid, but they're so close. Do you have to report it to circus hr though i think i'm date within the family yet you think it's a char uh... that's uh... uh... i can't think of it so about a bit later

what's so someone in the circus that has a each the needs of an h uh... half man half man half and resources the half man resources is okay yeah regular episode of uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh you can no one remember anything today what is your I got this one uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh No wonder Titus and Roger and I sent it like such a great idea. So anyway, Jack and John McLean have totally patched up along this trip, saving the world from nuclear weapons, I guess. They go back home to Mario Elizabeth Winstead who's totally forgotten. Who is Bruce Willis' daughter in this and they laugh and laugh as they unbord a private

plane, at least the CIA sent for it. And there's a freeze frame with the sun behind him that is framed very awkwardly. It's not looks John Bruce Willis is almost out of frame and the sun is just peeking out from behind his bald dome of a head You got he's got the fucking tech and a drone on the top of his neck You got biosphere to right there Only guys head was designed by Buckminster full. Oh I got plenty of Bruce Willis ball jokes Mr. Fuller. Hey, whoa.

Hey, oh, I got plenty of Bruce Willis ball jokes. Destro's walking off the plane. Yeah, that's tied in with that bearness. Yeah, because the bearness is early. Yeah, Russia. So that's the movie. They saved the world. They patched up their relationship.

They managed to kill. I'm just going to say on the outside, this is a conservative estimate. 350 Russians. But no international incidents somehow. No, because in this world, Russia exists only for Americans to go and ruin. It's much the same way that foreign countries work in a lot of James Bond movies, where it's like,

India, your job is to have a street bizarre that white people can run through and destroy while they're having a chase scene. Yeah, and some of them. You're not people, you're dressing up the sets. Yeah, you can pull a sword out of a sword swallower's throat and have a sword fight with it or something. Yeah, exactly. Um, that's an HR call.

Well, that sounds so gross when he said it. It's disgusting. The idea of it is disgusting. Okay. So, uh, you have flam all over that sword. Let's all got all bacteria. Let's skip to final judgments. This is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie,

a movie kind of likes to her. What do you have to say? This was a bad, bad movie. I didn't like it. I didn't like how the trailer made me believe that that girl was going to unzip her jumpsuit. She did unzip her jumpsuit. She almost all the way, but you bear,

they cut it way too soon. What's weird is that there are pictures online that show because we were looking at pictures of the lead actress online. We were all in meant to being that much of their stills where she is unzipped jumpsuit way down and you see a lot more of her but that's not in the movie in the trailer there is that much of it so it's a shot that for the trailer and then they just didn't put it in the movie like oh the most

email on answer goes to this movie won't be interested in this they're not interested in this hot Russian lady taking her clothes on seems we're yeah it seems where they would be like well this will get them in the seats and then they're like, but let's cut it down in the actual movie. And meanwhile, any excuse to show us Bruce Willis' naked ass, I mean, he is panceless in most of the movie. Yeah, exactly. The color of eye is flesh-colored in a painting.

It'd be so weird if this movie was his pants get blown off early on and he doesn't put them back on. And it's just him jumping out of buildings with no pants on. A good day to die pants list. A good day to die naked from the waist down. I'm going to say this is a bad bad movie. And I say this as a man who has basically liked every other die hard movie to one degree or another.

Your screen name on an insumessenger is die hard 114. Well, that's the thing. I'm not like because you can see yourself the eleventh big I am actually not like the world's huge is diehard fanatic There a lot of people out there who like oh the original die hurts the best action movie I like it a lot. It's easily one of the best. I see no it's one of the best I'm not I also disagree that's the best but it is it for an action movie it has it's a very Smartly constructed. Yeah, and the scenes work really well it's very exciting and

suspensey but I'm not like a huge fanatic but I have liked it's up there with like hard target obviously the first obviously the first one is head to see to the other's but I've even enjoyed the sequels and this one I do not care for at all it also hurts that the one of the made die hard great is that the villain is fantastic and in this the villain is almost a non-entity.

Well, you pointed out like in the first Die Hard and even in the second Die Hard they take a little bit of time to at least like build it up and create the world and build up the situation and show the bad guys plan and motion to give the bad guy a little bit of like, Cread, I guess, to show that he actually is smart, whereas the John McClellan character is kind of a doof. Well, but, but, but, you have a show. Hey, forget about it. Pizza pie. But it is like hardworking American ethos that gets through. Yeah. He's carrying his lunchpale everywhere. But, yeah, no, that's, but like, they set up his whole his whole purpose is to be the like ordinary Joe like, but what like resilient and tough that gets through and beats up the smarter European, you know, bad guys, but here the bad guys plan. It felt like the bad guy was making up as he went along. He had no charisma. Sure, the henchman danced once, but that was about it. And the movie is and his son is so uninteresting.

Are they his son is the show the movie on the show that makes you the son makes you wish for shy love to show up. Yeah, it makes what's his name, what Jackson makes him look, but Rover boys D. What's the name of the character's name is much something, right? Yeah, whatever. But it makes him seem like a really lovable you're watching this you're like you know maybe I'll watch another month in the crystal skull movie should make another one of those Indiana Jones junior in the in the legend of the hidden

shoes maybe they'll make one of the ones who told shoes rather than like put somewhere rather than doing you couldn't find them again Rather than like you know Die hard in your face the new one starting starting Jack McLean the Sun, you know He's so boring and dull and just just personality-less But it's a good good movie. No, and and also like every this is such a like No, no effort movie in a lot of ways except for stunts and like computer graphics, but the direction is kind of sub-born level shaky cam. There's like really interesting

There's two attempts to make interesting shots in the movie like interesting action shots like at the end where they're like Falling at the same rate as the hell like after yeah, but it's totally stupid and there's no threat. So who cares? Just watch Looper. So I think we're all agreed. Bad movie, go watch Die Hard. If you want good Die Hard and go watch Looper, if you want good old Bruce Willis. But you know what, Elliot, you look like you have something to say.

I do have something to say. And you guys aren't gonna wanna hear it, but here's what it is. Okay, I'll allow it this time. I'm quitting. What? Time Warner Cable. What? Because their DVR box, let's be honest, it'll allow it this time. I'm quitting. What? Time Warner cable.

What? Because they're DVR box, let's be honest. It's a piece of garbage. It overheats, it sucks. It doesn't work a lot of the time. The remotes are shit. Pardon my French, but I get heated up, much like a DVR box from Time Warner when I talk about Time Warner's DVR box.

But hey, I found a better option. What's that? A cooler option, a sexier option. An option that shouldn't be an option, it's a necessity. And it's called Tivo. T, little i, big v, little o. That's right, like Tivo. You know, Billy Blanks, martial arts thing, but Tivo.

And it's made watching your favorite television shows so easy that you might be watching them right now and not even know it. Wow. It's that easy to just fall into it. What about Mob Doctor? Yep, you can watch it. because it's that easy to just want to talk about mob doctor yep you can watch it except it's not on television anymore but if you had T-Vote it you could keep it forever because T-Vote has a huge amount of storage capacity and up to four tuners and you could

watch mob doctor to your heart to my boys my boys I don't know that T-Vote was around when my boys was on the it was on the air but if TBS is rerunning it the Jim Gaviganans sitcom my voice, then maybe look, you no longer have to sit in front of your TV and watch TV shows when your channels tell you to. And you know what, you don't even have to watch them a week later, a month later, you don't even have to watch them at your TV, because Tivo lets you watch shows whenever you want, wherever you want, anywhere, that you have a screen, you can watch this.

Any time that you have time screen you can watch this any time that you have time you can watch it. Tivo lets you stream TV on your iPad transfer recordings with there so you can take them with you on like an airplane or a submarine or like a mini sub or a mini plane or a subma plane or a plane marine. Name a place. Name a place. You can take the Tivo there.

You can watch something there. Hammerer stand. Hammerer stand. You got it. Watch your TV shows. Hack and sack. Hack and sack, New Jersey? Yeah. I mean, you can just have a TV there, sure.

Anywhere. You can go to Cairo. You can go to Japan. You can go to the moon. You can go to Atlantis. What about the offices of all things comedy? At the, sure. If they, yeah, if there's a physical place for them, I think it's just a PO Box and Tucson.

But all things comedy, you can go there and watch it. Tivo lets you search cable, the internet to find any show, movie, video, it's like Netflix, Hulu Plus, Amazon, and YouTube are just channels on your TV. On your TV with an amazing DVR, where you can record four shows at once, and something like 75 to 100, I don't remember, hours of HD programming.

That's a lot. That's so much you're never gonna finish it. And you're not gonna want to, because you're gonna enjoy watching it so much, you're gonna keep watching them. What you a lot. That's so much you're never going to finish it. And you're not going to want to because you're going to enjoy watching it so much you're going to keep watching them. What you can do is Tivo. Tivo Mini and a Tivo box works like you have Tivos on two TVs. It's amazing. Double your power. Now you can watch whatever you want, wherever you want, and now you can do it for a little bit cheaper because if you go to tvo.com right now, and any now until November 1st, you can get $25 off a new Tvo Premiere,

a P4 or an XL4 DVR, by using the promo code ATC. It's easy to remember because it's all things comedy, your favorite podcasting network. Remember the code expires on November 1st, tvo.com, $25 off, for the best DVR alternative there is, you're gonna love it. I think you should go and I would tell you I'm gonna go but I went already so I

don't have to go anymore but I did and you're gonna like it too so that's so you're quitting is what you said yeah quitting DVR is from time Warner so that's 25 dollars off Tivo.com and when you use the code atc before November 1st go do it won't you? Tvo Thank you for that word that keeps the lights on LA. Yep, and the DVR is on so This is the segment of the show where we answer letters from listeners. It's a little thing We like to call the flop house movie mail. Literally never accompanied with us on like this. Flapphouse Movie Mailbag. It's a bag of mail that we found under a bridge. These letters are addressed to Santa but we'll answer the many way.

Santa, if you're listening, here's what they want for Christmas. I know. For Christmas. Santa, here's the mail. I'm Santa and I hear you Elliot. Where are those letters you told me about? We got them here in a bag. It's a mail bag, a mail bag of letters for Santa and us. But there are now and it's gonna cost you a fat man. If you want these letters from the mailbag you lost

Under a bridge. What do you say to that cringle? I don't think this is saying I'm a weird Elliott kid I don't why are you wearing a beanie with a propeller? Oh, I'm a kid and that's what kids wear while we're eating goger and riding our skateboards I know I think that this isn't setting up the segment I want some chicken nuggets like dinosaurs in the flop house male bag flop house male bag reading So this first letter is titled, I love songs please. Wow that one was great.

Yeah. It's like Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote it. Yeah. Andrew Lloyd wronger. This one was titled, I love the show. And it says until now. Dear houses, I recently discovered your show and found it difficult to stop listening to your hilarious, easy-going banter about movies that most of you consider unwatchable. Thanks. Dittelman, I salute your comedy skills, but most of all I salute your bravery and endurance. Should David Kaelin ever tire of his brain of terror, I gladly offer my services as a replacement supervillain. Perhaps each episode could end with my face clinched with anger, crushing my iPod with my metal hand, because Elliot had taunted me

with his songs, or Stewart had taunted me by recommending yet again Castle Freak. The only impediments that I see... That's what I was going to write. I own neither a metal hand nor an iPod. We'll get cracking. Here is my actual query. Given your great experience watching terrible movies, What are the telltale signs that should look for let me know that a horrible film that I'm watching is about to become What work of unintentional comedy genius when I settled out of watch say Frankenstein 2 bikini summer starring Nicole Williamson

Alcs Rocco and Toddie Ketain. Now that's weird. I don't know why Nicole Williamson is in there, but What happy talk of the Tony container say happy Portance will let me know that I can settle back in a false Defi and pose into Claire let the feast of hilarity begin well if it's got bikini in the title to a good bad movie a strong good bad movie if you will or what would the omens that tell me I need more vodka to make it through the project sincerely Freddie

Packelon not my real name. Well, okay. I would say, well, one way you know if it's a bad movie, this something Stewart point out to me once is, if it opens with a voiceover that says something like, my mother always told me, never, never agree with strangers. Yeah, but that's usually a bad, bad movie. That's a bad, bad movie, but a good, bad movie.

Well, if Michael Cain and the Rock are in it. I think that a good bad movie often has a bizarrely high concept, like say something like Jim Cotta that combines the kill of karate with the thrill of gymnastics. Yep. Awesome. Something to look out for, if you're looking for a good bad horror movie instead of a bad bad horror movie is if it's got not only has a painted cover but if you're

looking at that painted cover and you see like a painted babe on it you're not going to see that babe anywhere in that movie. That's true. You are only going to see like a C grade version of that babe so do not rent that movie. So wait a minute. Is that a recommended? That is a bad, bad movie. So you want to see it? You want a photograph of a babe and then you want to see that babe begin on the back of the box. Oh, you see it in the movie.

Yeah, Google her name maybe. So, Stuart, take a picture with your phone. You're saying, well, you actually want to see is a silhouette of a babe through some Venetian blinds. That sounds great. Yeah, if you want to see a Shannon Tweed movie or something, sure. So if you want a movie with night or eyes or night eyes in the title, like presumed sexual. That's not that's not nice to sensual. It's not something that often is in a good bad movie in my experience or in George Harrison. I can't wait. The Beatles. Oh, the Beatles.

They're the Beatles. You're in music, dude. You're thinking George Hamilton, I'm not. So George Harrison was in night eyes to presume sexual or was it a sensual innocence? Not actually George Harrison of the Beatles. It's George Hamilton and Rex Harrison murdered. Yeah, it's Jorge Hamilton and Rex Harrison murdered yeah it's Jorge Horsonin I found that something that's in a lot of good bad movies is long scenes of driving

if there are scenes where just a bunch of people are in a car driving somewhere and we see all of it that is usually a precursor to some of. Well, there's a treat at the end of that movie. I'll just like how I describe it. Just like how there's a monster at the end of this book. There's a monster at the end of that film. Let me tell you. I mean, not a... Going to the internet.

I mean, not a monster in size, but a monster in... Take an easy and close of any dude. I feel like some of the... It looks way better in person. I feel like some of these tips involve video boxes, which are hard to see in our days, since their movies are different. So it really exists the same way they did.

But I think if it's got ninja in the title, you're on the path. So there you go. That's a good tip. But I would say, look, there's so many more bad, bad movies and good bad movies. You just gotta be ready for a a bad bad movie and take what comes that's part of the fun is that when you find that rare amazing gem yeah you

feel so it's such a rush let me tell you though it's like yeah it's like pulling a bank job wearing a president's mask or something yeah the one last tip though if if it's a movie about a rock and roll band fighting some sort of supernatural force, that's usually pretty good. And if it's about twin bodybuilders who babysit twin rich kids, then it's a good sign. So this next email is titled Get Over Yourself Elliott. Whoa. And it goes like this.

My David last name was El. Wow, I had no idea that, quote, Leo G. Mayor was a founding member of M.G. Studios. This was pointed out on the face of the day. Since film school, I've been out of the misguided impression that Louis B. Mayor was actually that fellow's name. Good thing Dan had the great white peed and present

on the red dawn episode, sorry, great white peed and present on the red dawn episode, to arrogantly correct his minor mistake in calling the studio Metro Golden Mailer with an equally egregious piece of misinformation. No, it was a half truth. By the way Dan, good luck and God bless with that knee bro. Yours is in Flobbitude, Cuffee last name with help. Well thank you Cuffee.

So it's like a cartoon dog writing in to correct me about things. He's the baby version of Cuffs from the film the same name. Honestly. That's a great idea Cuff it wouldn't call it little cuffs. Little cuffs. Cuff babies. Yeah, now you're right I'm told you got me totally dead to rights. I got leave you marriage I'm a bitch and boo I Boo I've been straight trip and ever since my only explanation could be hey We're none of us perfect. I'm as much aite of as anybody and two we had just watched red dawn I believe which had scrambled my brains with its boringness so I desperately hoped a man named Leo G mayor had existed. This next one is titled

Head of the Family Fan Review after a lot of soul searching and after a lot of soul searching and repeated bubble clouds above my head of Stuart sternly looking down at me, I finally watched the head of the family. The opening scene, which was still frame of a house with oddly timed, home alone music lasting about 7 minutes, started putting up some warning flags for me, until I met lead character Lance. What does home alone music sound like? Lance.

I totally heard my head right now Lance the obvious character inspiration for what would later be called Joe dirt with a mixed of entrepreneurial exuberance and Ernest Navite would ultimately lead him to drop kicking a gigantic head down a flight of stairs into the movie oh no he messed with the head bar none my favorite scene Lance's charming use of the word retard. His palm shawnt for silk pajamas. His incredible flowing hair wig. His belief that real money is in flammable shit.

And the fact that most of his casual talk and marriage proposals happen during stockroom sex easily making my favorite character. His real feelings for Loretta are intimately revealed to us when he describes that being with her is like, quote, fucking a firecracker. My only real terrible. My only real f- I mean burns on my penis. It's like my wedding vows all over again.

My only real criticism of the movie is that the head's family members are supposed to have some sort of superpowers, but I'm pretty sure that Otis's indiscriminate punching of receptionists don't qualify. I'm also thinking of the guy with a huge eyes. I'm thinking of the guy with the huge eyes just had thyroid problems, and Ernst Union's superpower just seems to be hot. In summary, I give it a good review. The most of the life superpower there is.

Yeah. Mostly for the generous dose of gratuitous nudity, and I plan on running to Hollywood to request that the sequel actually be Pirates of the Caribbean style Disney ride of the heads dungeon. So silly Carson, last name with hell of you weirdos. Oh, daily, it was Carson daily. Wow. Well, thanks. I feel vindicated a little bit, you know. Yeah, I mean like somebody's finally somebody finally liked a movie recommended. Yeah, exactly. I don't get

emails yelling at me Trying to tear me down like I'm a lot like King Kong in that regard. You know like I'm up there and I'm just fine So I you know like King Kong was fine. Yeah, nothing can go wrong. King Kong's got nothing on you Stewart So in training day was he his backstory was that he used to work with King Kong, and they had a fight or something? So, yeah. I know King Kong. In comparison to King Kong.

King Kong was a friend of mine. You sir, our King Kong. This last letter is titled Greenings from Australia. And it's from... Good day. Good day from Australia. And it's from... Good day. Good day from Australia, yeah. It's from Tom Cushing. First off, no, I'm not related to him,

but I did like him in the hound of the basketball bills. Secondly, kudos on your fine podcast. He knew exactly what I was gonna ask. I recently discovered it via a certain hipster review site and I've started working my way through your entire back catalog. Unfortunately, this gorge... Look, I'm assuming we call way through your entire back catalog. Unfortunately this gorge Invigain what we call mustache bicycle dot com Unfortunately this gorge has left me with a slight problem. I'm very sensitive to accidentally picking up other people's mannerisms and accents and my recent soldier a bit of a chameleon

My exploit little gay I Will become you and take will take your life. My recent sojourn in a flapper island seems to have rewired some of my neural pathways. Uh oh. So when I was in a car, directing my... You're back, oh, kid. The less popular, sad-effect characters.

Roar! Roar! It's an embarrassment of riches, guys. Yeah, why is rich so embarrassed? So he says When I was in a car directly my friend home recently instead of simply saying take the road they run on over there the middle Jesus continued come on guys upset the underside. I don't like all I know is they aren't spiky trucks Fighting each other for gas down there. Sure, yeah, yeah, fresh is juice.

Motorcycles, wrist mounted crossbows, what have you? He says when I was a... He hung guy. When I was a... When I was a guy in fresh is juice, two film projects. I'm working on it right now. I told us to rock and roll it down there. I continue.

So when I was at a car directing my friend home recently, instead of simply saying, take yellow road on the left, as I intended, I instead made a series of rapid fire references. Take the yellow road where the drive, oh, there was us, I guess, yeah, never mind, I'll check it out. I instead made a series of rapid fire references from singing a few bars of the whizz,

segueing into pinball wizard by the who, and finishing with a one-man version of who's on first and my best impersonation of Keith Moon Moon when I came out of my pop culture fever my friend was confused we're terribly lost I guess what I'm trying to say is do you know how to get from footscraided brunt's width I'm cold and we've run out of fuel cheers PS go team Kaelin PPS seriously my situation is looking dire dire hard with avengings, lady vengeance, fuck. Oh no. Oh no, he's caught

flopitis. Yeah. It's when you name things that are kind of half related to other things. No matter how dire your situation, you still make references to the point of dying, I suppose. Yeah. A good day to die hard with a reference. Sure. So I, we don't know where those places are How do you give to me them? No, we've just you with the letters everybody. What's wrong, Dan? I'm just I'm worried we've gone super late Your hair is looking crazy right now. Yeah, should we move on to the next session? McCoy Wellington hair talk

Because I haven't next as you do just brushing your fingers to the other's hair. I think I know what our audience wants. Yeah, social garrings to show our hair. I want to thank everyone who wrote in. Thanks for the great letters, even the one correcting me, because you know what, I got to stay humble. Keep you honest, you know.

This is our last segment of the evening, and it's the one in which we recommend movies that we saw that we actually liked. It's true. What do you have to say? Sure. So if you were considering watching a good day that I hard, stop put down your... Drop? I don't... Collaborate and listen. So instead of doing that, you should watch one of three different movies. You should either go watch Die Hard, the original, which would be under siege. Starring Steven Seagal, Casey Ryback. So if you like under siege in outer space, you should watch the movie Lockout, a gay space drink. So, or if you're looking for the movie under

siege, but set in a hockey rink, you should watch Sudden Death starring G.C.V.D. where he does actually get on the ice and play a little goly. So watch under siege. I'm going to recommend a film called Twilight's Last Gleaming, directed by Robert Aldrich, whom you may know from what ever happened to to baby jane may know from the dirty dozen or my favorite movie of his kiss me deadly you did the original flight of the phoenix now i mean he was a uh... uh... great uh... director hard boiled films

but uh... in direct hard boiled no twice last gleaming is is the one of the babies right that baby geniuses is maybe a second or third or third-tier film from him but it's uh... inner in and entertaining one uh... has burnt landcaster as a uh... disgraced military captain who takes over a nuclear silo

and threatens to start world war three in less the the government reveals the real reason that we got into Vietnam and it has a lot of great character actors like Charles Durning and Bert Young and old Joseph Cotton's in it and it's entertaining 1977 political thriller and it's got a lot of use of split screens which you don't see that much outside of brine to palm of movie anymore but he does it very well so that's what i recommend i'm gonna recommend so what i kind of wanted out of good day to die hard was kind of a sleazy action movie and we got was kind of a delaxing movie

so i'm gonna recommend one of the sleazier action movies i've watched in the last couple months that would be full contact starring uh... starting chow Yun Fat directed by Ringo Lam. And this is your classic early 90s Hong Kong action movie in that everybody's yelling at each other and there's a lot of dry ice smoke everywhere and people just shooting each other for no reason.

Uh, bait your basic story. A guy's friend gets in trouble with the mob so the guy, Chow Yun Fat, has to help him, lots of mayhem and soos, and there's a shoot out in which for no reason you start getting bullets eye views of the shots, and even when they ricochet off of things, there's sparks right in your face. Anyway, it's a crazy sleazy action movie with the henchmen include a sexy lady who is constantly horny, and while they're about to run a heist and she's in a car with chalien fat she just starts masturbating basically

while they're waiting for the high start it is a ridiculously sleazy movie with some good action scenes in it. And they're already queuing it up on Netflix. So full contact if you want action and sleaze. So guys thank you for coming over to my apartment and sitting in this unair condition room for an hour. Yeah, it's really hot. In fact, I should probably take these clothes off. Speaking of full-contact. Do it. Fan fiction, start your engines. Well, we're just kidding. We're going to leave now. Leave our pants. No, don't continue it. So for the flight, we're going, we won't need pants. Claws out on all. That's from the foreign sequel, Cock to the future.

We might flying out. It's not event horizon. Event horizon. Event horizon. Event horizon. I get it. Thank you again for tuning in to the Flapphouse for all your nonsense needs. Uh, event per Eisen. Oh, I get it. I like that. Thank you again for tuning in to the Flop House for all your nonsense needs.

I've been Dan McCoy. I'm steward Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen. Good night everyone. Boom in the can. The way you wear your hats, the way you sip your tea. No one's a lazy kid. The memory of all that. Oh no, they can't take that away from me.

They can't live out of me. The way you smile just gleam. Not smiling. The way you sing off key. Now it's one of the ways you sing off key now it's wants me to play you on my dreams because I'm a ghost oh no they can't take that away because you wronged me Dan no they can't take that away from me that's the end yeah thank you thankfully yeah

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah.