The Flop House - The Flop House_ Episode #133 - Bullet to the Head

Episode Date: August 24, 2013

More accurately, bullet "in" the head, and then quickly "out" of the head. Walter Hill has made several great movies in his career. Is Bullet to the Head one of them? Meanwhile, Stuart unveils a new impression in his repertoire, Dan inspires a discussion about the horrors of gorilla sex, and Elliott keeps missing our special celebrity guest.Movies recommended in this episode:Big Brown EyesThe Queen of VersaillesClose Up

Thank you. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house I'm Dan McCoy. And I am Stuart Fellington. And I'm Ellie Kalen. This is a little character I was trying to out. This new character is just you but German. Yeah, I mean that was my very first impression impression, but he says I'm still willing to yeah Well, he was doing a character to that was more of like a German like I'm a bad Yeah, that's what

That's his catchphrase Ich bin ein total bad dude Ich bin ein original party animal Ich fühle mir ein steuertwerner herzahlen Ich stehe wieder in der kursleit Und ich sehe noch ein senses sympathy Das ist eine andere Kissen no sense of sympathy or understanding only a blood that sounds more like Henry Kissinger doing a steward at work yeah I'm not you talking about it sounds more like N- that's a hot sauce

because that's exactly how I sound at Dan okay yummy so I've forgotten what is my game my tummy is wrong please I need so hungry I love bloopers Wait those blueberries were bloopers wait what it's her side is he love is he misses the blooper shows

But I have a happen to bloopers with practical jokes This we meet we to search your algorithm. It's cartoon Just because the clock is no longer involved, does not mean I have a phone. Oh, let's didn't piece all this. Um. I think, and this is a high-border, I think it must be the most nonsense at the top of a show. It's 100% nonsense. Click save on the device.

Click a computer. Yeah. Until we figure out what it's called, it's called the the device. They can put it up. Until we figure out what it's called, it's called the device. And Dan, what are we doing this podcast? This is a podcast. You might not get it from what we've done so far. This is a Verhurtzog podcast. This is a podcast about bad movies.

It's called the Zogcast. Oh, the Flopped the Zogcast. And that fuck face back to Krypton. Where we watched a movie that was either a critical or commercial flop. I think that for a- I wish- No, I want- I haven't seen Man of Steel, but I want to watch it and have had someone edited you in so that when Zod is doing his televised address, Stuart just turns the camera

to send that fuck face back to Krypton. And then the movie continues as before. Continue that hard. You can just edit that in. I know that's what I wanna do. Okay, so Dan, flop, ask. What do we do? We watch a movie.

It's a podcast. A movie that was either a commercial or a critical flop. And then we discuss it. And tonight we watched a little film called Bullet to the Hair. Bullet to the Hair. Bullet to the Head. Bullet to the head. Bullet to the head. Read it all.

Bullet to the head, chaps. Yeah, all right. Hello, hello. It's the Impression Cast, right? Yeah, it's Clive Owens. In England, it was released as Bullet to the Apocity. EAD. Bullet to the head.

Hello, hello, good day, chaps. Read it all. Now, bullet to the head. LLLO, good day, Chaps, rated R. Now, bullet to the head. They have a different rating, Sister Meli. You just fucked up that joke. Oh, sorry, yeah. Rated. You'll fix it, right? You'll fix it in post.

UK17. Yeah, circuitry. Yeah. Exactly. Of authenticity. This movie is a number with a circle around there or something. So, bullet to the head is a- It's an action movie starring our favorite, not our favorite,

Nicholas Cage is our favorite, starring a favorite of mine, Slice the Lone, and another call that because he's Park Fox. Because he was named after his grandfather, Slilock Fox, the Sunday comic strip detective. I don't have into his best friend, Max Mouse. Oh, he died. Yeah, they don't look my soul live very long day Yeah, the foxes oh forever My soul live very long when there are solving mysteries and making powerful enemies Carden a trap Deadly trap it was a mouse is a whole a mouse hole of deceit and seduction.

It was like a game of something in mouse. Let's say house sent mouse. So, bull in the head star of Sevastolone was directed by Walter Hill. It was an enormous flop. According to Wikipedia, this was the second worst box office weekend opening in Sevastolone's career. I actually didn't realize how big a flop this was the second worst box office weekend opening in Sylvester Stallone's career. I actually didn't realize how big a flop this was. I just want to interrupt. Uh, I know Dan just said this is a monster flop. There isn't a monster in this movie. I mean, Sylvester Stallone. Unless you count Cal Drogo. Yeah, I guess.

But here's the thing actually Sylvester Stallone looks a lot less like a monster than he does in John Rambo. Or I guess they just called it Rambo when they released it. Yeah. But there are scenes in that movie where he just less like a monster than he does in John Rambo or I guess it's called it Rambo when they release it. But there are scenes in that movie where he just looks like a bear with a human head running through the jungle. There's a part where he's underneath a bridge and he's been shot. I think he's pretty charitable with the term human. There's a scene where he's like he's like running through a tunnel underneath a bridge

and it looks like Frankenstein's monster has escaped from the lab. But he's slimmed down a little bit and that he's no longer addicted to human growth hormone. Yeah, but we shouldn't we shouldn't gloss over this. So it's dried by Walter Hill who we I think it's fair to say we all love. Yeah, sure man. The man made the warriors. He made the driver. The driver.

Not a movie I love, but a fun movie forty eight hours uh... did you do another forty eight hours i believe so what about the third forty eight hours which is a movie that was never made uh... in his head in his head yes okay uh... but so the man knows buddy movies yeah uh... streets of fire a lesser known uh... yeah he was a producer on alien cult

uh... status and aliens broosters millions if you want a movie with a lot of Geronimo and American legends masculine this that's that's a little West duty right maybe I don't remember yeah yeah that was a pretty good movie actually I saw that in the theater back in the day but he is a master of stripped down very manly cinema. He doesn't. He likes action movies where there's a lot of action. The men are a lot of traction tough guys who have that kind of like traction. Yeah. Tough guys who have that kind of like African queen Hepburn and Bogart relationship where

they hate each other, but they kind of come to like each other except they don't fall in love They just kind of like the quips get a little softer. Mm-hmm. Uh, and yeah, just strip down like you were saying like he's not Men are men women are topless. Yeah back in Walter Hills Day men were men women were topless children didn't exist There's no children in this movie. There are no well unless there's a character who's a best-for-school-one's child, but she's grown up. Oh, yeah. And there she is. Oh, boy, she grown up in all the right places. By which I mean-

It's still very petite. Her whole body. She is an adult-sized person. It's not like, well, she's big in all the right places. We mean like there are places where she's not big, and it's the weird, wrong size I don't understand. So, we weird thing to say. She's big in all the right places by which I mean that she is proportional. Which is mean is she doesn't have one tiny doll's hands. No, all the places that are supposed to be big are big and all the small places are small.

Yeah, for all the listeners out there that have one tiny doll hands. I look there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, it's cool. That could be wrong with that. Even if you have two tiny doll hands. I'll give you one tiny and five high five. Hey, look, you're that one. My hand's not tiny. Don't make it nor worse.

You're making it worse. Your hand would crush their hand. A board. Look, you're that much closer to being doll man and being next to doll manness is next to godlyness. Yeah, if you have a little doll's hand, you could hold doll man's gun to explore to people. OK, so let's talk about this movies about huh when we're talking about strip

down action movies i feel like this is kind of the definition of strip down action in that nobody seems to be trying very hard no it feels i was saying to dan this feels like the beat the devil of action movies in that it feels like a lot feels like a lot a bunch of people got together on a weekend they had free and made an action movie together which I actually is kind of a it doesn't it's not that good in terms of like laid back charisma but it's kind of something I mean I think the entire plot I think the entire plot is shouted out by a post-torture Christian Slater in about like one minute yeah okay now for people who might have fallen asleep earlier in the film. When we were told that there's a lot of exposition in this movie that we that you find out a couple

times. Characters are constantly being told things that the audience already knows, but anyway, it's not a complex plot. No, it is a very simple plot. Let's say with that plot, it shall we find ourselves in New Orleans, the star of a couple of past flop house faves. Twelve rounds. Twelve rounds.

Stole. Stole. A little bit of heaven, I think. Yeah, a little bit of heaven was in. And flop house deep cut. It was. And Sylvester Stallone is a hitman named Jimmy Bobo. And he has a partner, Lewis.

Just like Mr. Burns' stuff bear, Bobo. Well, yeah, exactly. In the opening, well, we first see a scene where An Asian guy who is waiting under a bridge gets in a car The guy in the car pulls a gun on him and then the guy in the car gets shot before you shoot the Asian guy Where does it get shot in the head a bullet to the head and do people's heads get bullets in them in this movie quite a lot quite a lot quite a few heads get bullets in them in this movie quite a lot quite a lot quite a few uh... well so jimmy bobo and his partner kill a guy in his hotel room and now the entire opening title sequence is this guy in the hotel room drinking

and doing drugs and just being really excited about something meanwhile there's a new prostitute in the shower just taking a shower uh... i mean people do take showers that's how you open a movie. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Especially if the movie is this Carrie or a porno set in a shower. Those are shower related. I think Carrie also opens up with a all-girl shower scene fight or Netflix original Orange is the new black. Yeah dude Orange is the new black. Come on. I haven't seen that. I don't know. I don't know. Okay great. We're trying to be current here. Sorry. Yeah you're right. I should imagine.

I'll give you references. Carry. Carry. Carry the remake. All right. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Talkin. There's more magic in that one I think. Magic. Carry a wizard in it. Yeah right. That's what she does. That'd be so great if they remade carry but they wanted to capture the Harry Potter audience So instead of a telekinetic she's a wizard. Instead of high school, she goes to Hogwarts and instead of killing everyone in the prom She wins the Quidditch tournament. It's called Carrie Potter It's the lovable story of a little girl who just might be a wizard. Yes. She is not just might be a wizard The whole plot is that she's a wizard

Anyway, it started s Sissy Spasek as Carrie Potter. Sure. What were we saying about a movie? Okay. So, Sylvester Sloan and his partner kill this guy, then they go to a bar where they're supposed to meet up with the guy paying them. But uh-oh, Jason Momoa comes in. Who? movies Conan, TV, Cal Drogo. He was the star of Conan the barbarian which we flopped yeah it was the episode with the classic Zardaz tangent yeah movie that I I kind of remember sort of liking it I did not like it was boring but anyway there's a big uh

but there's a he stabs the partner in a bar yeah uh and after so much alone has established that he only drinks bullet whiskey was it bourbon uh... well i mean it's a it's bourbon bourbon for his whiskey and bullet whiskey could not have been happier by it could have been a lot of their bullet right okay so we didn't spend a couple times rather than we were supposed to alone specifically orders bullet and then when the bar doesn't have it brings a bottle of it with him so that you know what the bottle looks like when you go into the store to get the same whiskey that's the

last one you want to bullet to the mouth i have the same whiskey as that hit man yeah follow bullet to the head of the bullet to the mouth a bullet whiskey that is enjoy responsibly uh... it is good whiskey though uh... i was playing a guy named keegan uh... who is an ex- also a mercenary soldier type, and he and Bobo, so that's just alone,

have a big fight in the bathroom of this bar, they break a door, they break a sink, but- Break our hearts? Break our hearts, but he gets away before Slice Sloan can stop him, and his partner's dead. Meanwhile, a detective from Washington DC shows up in New Orleans to investigate the death of the guy they killed in the hotel room who turns out was a crooked cop. He was the partner of the Washington DC detective played by Sun Kang. Yeah, yeah, yeah, from the Fast and the Furious movies. Yeah, and he really? Yeah, he's in

like four of them. He made his first, he made his first appearance in, uh, Tokyo Drift, which I think happens after all of the other movies. I just watched him for the car steward. Sure. I'm a real gear head. Yeah, you know that about you. That's a big. Yeah, that you said you're a real grease monkey.

You love automobiles. You're always cherrying out that old car that you got. I'm going to get surgery to get this gear removed yeah that was when that car exploded in the second you had all those posters of Lamborghini's with babes sprawled across them were for the babes but they're actually for the cars uh... babes gross cars you know you're getting away that sweet lambo

uh... you're ruining the polish with your boobs Now a gear head would be a better name for a steam punk fan, right? Yeah, they literally have gears on their heads a lot of the time Yeah, but you probably get a probably get a mixed mixed up crowd if you Advertised for gear head. Yeah, you would and if you have to have for parrot heads. Yeah, you get the pirate punk crowd would and if you have to have for parrots heads yeah you get the pirate punk uh... i would park and jimmy buffet yet you get some middle-aged people who are really in the margarita

yeah a lot of cell phone holsters ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was the partner of this dc detective hit he's got some kind of file in his possession turns out evidence all over that says evidence on it that has a bunch of information on a former african warlord turned real estate model in new orlands who is employing the help of lawyer marcus baptiste played by christian slater in what i can only imagine to a t is a total cash grab as alimagical it's a it is a complete CG the cook at cop tried to blackmail Morrell who's the the real estate guy slash

we have to assume he's a mushroom person like in Mario Brothers name to Maria called Goombas Elliot that's offensive to what mushroom people yes it is very to much people i prefer to call them tell you shirurumos and i don't know how to get it steward calls Italian mushroom people they do a lot of mushrooms yeah no always with the mushroom eating all those

Italians anyway so uh... then there's a the file is now in possession of a local mobster named baby jack and and keegan caldrogo wanders into baby jack's private bar and kills seventeen guys and gets this folder he literally he walks into this bar and the bartender is a private club hey excuse me hey you looking for baby jack as caldrogos walks past him to the back room where

he then proceeds to shoot everybody. So, Juan, the detective from Washington DC, he uses his magic phone with its people's background looking up abilities. Whenever he needs information he calls Washington DC and says, look up this person and they tell him everything he needs. Yeah, we've got the policeman app. And it's he. Yeah. Do you think they originally had a character written into the script That was like a nerd that was on the computer the whole time that would like a like assignment peg type Maybe although it seems that part was originally supposed to be played by Thomas Jane So I doubt it. Yeah, it seems like this is a movie that was sponsored by

Bullet whiskey and cell phones. Yeah, just to get out the way people hadn't heard of cell phones yet So they decided to make a Walter Hill sliced-alone action movie to get out the word about cell phones yeah just to get out the world people hadn't heard of cell phones yet so they decided to make a Walter Hill sliced-alone action movie to get out the word about cell phones anyway Juan meets up with Bobo in a bar Bobo sliced alone and Bobo thing is like a boy named Sue sort of thing like the idea is like oh, you know like the guy with the like the goofy Name is the toughest maybe or like I think it's named after the final fight villain a bobo was a double dragon double dragon Bobo's yeah, yeah bobo two dragons Yeah, facing each other Just look at doing a mirror bit yeah, that's what dragon raises a claw the other dragon raises a claw

Anyway, so what's bobo to anyway bobo and Kwan meet nabar Kwan says I know you killed this guy But we got it. I'm not interested in you. I'm interested in the guy who hired you. And Bob was like, forget it. And Kwan is attacked by a bunch of cops. Kwan is attacked by a bunch of corrupt cops in a parking garage. Sylvester Sloan saves his life, but he is shot in the process.

Not in the head. Not in the head, but in the shoulder. The other cops get one cop gets a bullet to the head and the other cop gets a car to the process. Not in the head. Not in the head, but in the shoulder. The other, the cops get one cop gets a bullet to the head and the other cop gets a car to the body when someone's just alone hits him with a car. And in order to treat Kwan's wounds, someone takes him to a tattoo parlor called Tattoo Baba. I assume I named after the Baba Yaga, the witch of Russian folklore. Hey, lives in the chicken leg house.

Lives in a chicken leg house and has a shitload of tattoos. I'm guessing And in the massage parlor which is run by semester Sloan's daughter. Oh, sorry tattoo parlor There's a massage parlor later on tattoo parlor run by semester Sloan's daughter Lisa. Yeah played by Sarah Shahi who I know from oh, you know her Yeah, what did you guys meet uh you know just a bar okay you struck up a conversation about that TV show she's on the TV show about the TV show that I actually know her uh from which was called life that's a serial that's not a TV show Damien Lewis pre-home homeland and you also may know her uh from fairly legal on USA where characters

are welcome if they wipe their feet on the welcome yeah only yeah okay so and you also may know her uh... from fairly legal on us a work here to welcome if they wait for the people welcome only yeah okay so she's got a lot of the tattoo artist and and she a walking uh... at the end of her walking for the yet because he has to artist really have tattoos that's the crazy thing

she's a walking at the because you see a tattoo artist, you're like that person Someone with tattoos that person must be involved in the tattoo industry in some way Anyway, she also occasionally takes bullets out of people not out of their heads for her father Sylvester Stallone she removes a bullet from Kwan and everybody doesn't get along sliced alone are used with the detective the detective are used with the tattoo artist that the two artists are used to the sir father sliced alone oh so much banter back and forth there's a lot of so much so banter in this movie where he delivers it like it's a clever line but it's not just doesn't make any sense

but i don't know he sells it he tries to sell it no he doesn't he's really lazy with his line the board especially the race of stuff he's extra lazy with that in order to Uh, okay, or some of that 48 hours magic where two people bond over Rachel slurs over being racist to each other But he's really his heart's not in it his non-racist heart is not in it But he and the detective agreed to work together, but we're gonna do this my way. This is my town. We're gonna do this my way. Whoa whoa whoa. It's like the longest walk.

That's right. Hello, Dan. Hello, Stewart. It's me, Sebastian Sloan. I just walked into the first name. That's really good. I love you watching my movie, Bulletin. Who else would like to shoot Bulletin? I'll tell you, I was drunk the whole time. I don't really remember. Alright, well, I'll see you later. I'm not going anywhere. In fact, if I was a crush on your couch, I'd really appreciate it.

That's too bad we're open. You're gonna go get Elliot. Adrian! So I was yelling the name of my favorite Roman Emperor, Adrian. So what are you guys doing this weekend? Maybe I could tear the long. Oh my god, dude, what a family. I'll tell you what, hey, boredoms, the disease, I'm the cure. Let's have a good time, everybody. Okay. They call me the demolition man, disease I'm the cure. Let's have a good time everybody

They call me the devil they call me the demolition man, but I'm demolitioning bad times Hey, tell me side. Do we get to have fun this time? Wait, that was one of us are Yeah, but the purposes of that catchphrase Hey stop stop your mom will shoot him, right? Babe, that's nothing to joke about. It's still getting with a treasure. A treasure of a woman that I would have wished you had been in a dragon name for the mud.

Demonstration will always be so free of patrilla. Certainly, the sarcasticest of the golden girls. But in my mind, all those girls were gold Yeah, it's a medical disorder. I Can't run too fast because my heart's too soft the heat from the friction will make it melt So thanks for mentioning that I'm pretty sensitive about it It's caused the loans disease for a reason, because I have it. It's not like lukewarm, it's covered in the Gary's disease. He just had it.

That's the one's disease, it's a soft heart. If you could imagine like a soft cheese, that's the consistency of my hot. Which we do as my blood is very solid. If you could imagine like a hard salami, that's every one of my arteries. Right? I am in through that cheese. It is not even cholesterol, it's just the way I was born. Anyway, so bullet to the head, Thanks for watching. Gotta go jetpack.

Wow. Hey guys, I went to the bathroom. What did I miss? Oh, I don't even know where to. You probably killed your sister. Oh man, then I, well, don't tell me then. I don't want to be sad. I want to be happy after seeing bullet to the head. So anyway, they work together. They track down the net. He uses magic police phone to track their next quarry who's the guy blackberry blackberry magic police phone i call it he uh... he

it would seem like magic if you're a caveman it's on my movie i'm pitching at ttpd he's a police he's a phone but he's also cop he's a phone, but he's also a cop. He's got criminals number. Hey Justice, this calls for you. Ring ring, you hear that? Disciplines on the line. Anyway, so they go to a miss, they go to a miss.

They go to a very foggy spa where the guy who hired Sloan is getting massage still own from a completely closed woman from the least sleazy masseuse i've ever seen in an action movie you'd expect at the very least she's in a bikini no she looks like she works at a spa it seems like the higher actual masseuse to do it now like they were getting staff massages or cast massages and we're just like you just our role in the camera you know what this is gold just just start filming the rest of the women in this movie are so sleazy that they're like we gotta have a little fairness here we gotta let's

uh... good point good point let's prove that we're not sexist by having this one it's that it's that it's that equal time uh... provision in the in the woman laws he uh... so it's loans gonna shoot this guy but uh oh quantum for this gun removed the firing pin. So, they're going to have to fist fight it in the spa in kind of what a basic cable ripoff of the Eastern promises Russian bath fight scene would be like. And by that I mean you see nobody's scrotum.

Which was the main thing. They're like nearly a single scrotum. They're based on the Richard Russo novel. Nobody's scrotum. Of course, and they made the TV movie not without my scrotum. Now anyway, they find the next guy they have to go to. We'll leave no scrotum behind. It's not like if I compare a shoot they deploy by the race car.

Hey, we leave no scrotum behind. No scrotum. This is a scrotum, huh, man? Scroot hunt game over. Anyway, so they find this. You don't know about scrotums anymore? No, I don't. This movie is a lot of. It's so wrinkly. It is a lot of this detective and salone finding a guy learning from him who the next guy is to find and then killing that guy. So they learn after salone kills the spa guy. He then got they learn the next day that I find his back to East the lawyer played by Christian Slater. He is hosting a kind of cut rate eyes wide shut party at his house

where everyone's wearing masks. Yeah, mask a rating and costumes. They're having a ball up in masks just like at the judges the judges house in swiney tod but uh... all of the men are basically wearing masks and sort of like pyrid yeah like a eighteen century buccaneer cussing sexy dreams he wins and labyrinths except the women are wearing mass and no clothes at all topless or totally nude did not expect the amount of newtty in the scene and which weird is that the camera doesn't really linger on it just in the background

I mean a link is on the sense that there will be women Yeah, as you say in the background for slowdowns Yeah, but it's not shot in a sexy way. Yeah, it's not like there's not I feel like in a Michael Bay movie If they had the scene you'd have a lot of close-ups of boobs cut together really fast and then a giant robot who's also nude would come in It's just cash, Elliot. But this is total cash. That's right. It's almost like Christian Slater just hired these women because in the scene he was gonna be in. But anyway, Sylvester Stallone and the detective are gonna come in, but they're gonna have to get some costumes. That means time to go to the costume shop.

They literally have a Sylvester Stallone trying on different masks one time. It's a way... I did not expect when I watched the movie, it was pretty stalone, you're singing. Shootin' bullet to the head, pretty stalone. Bullet in that other head, pretty stalone. I want to shoot you in the head. We'll pull it in the head. We live all into the head. Mercy.

No mercy. But I did not expect in the movie Bullets of the Head that there would be any sort of fashion trying on montage. And it's a quick one. It goes by in about seven seconds, but still. There is there. There is an consists of a mask. And there are regular street clothes. So they're walking around in like polo t-'re asking consists of a mask and their regular street clothes

So they're walking around in like polo t-shirt and jeans and a mask and nobody bats an eye They get so this they get Christian Slater while he's in the bathroom. Mm-hmm kidnap him. It's the only way to get a shelf-up on slight man Yeah, on now and Slater now they Bring him to so that's just Loan's house, which is, let's face it, it's a Swampshack. It is a chainsaw massacre Swampshack, you know. Yeah, if you see that, what's that movie about the, what's that Tobey Hooper movie about the fucking crocodile? Tobey Hooper. It's like, it's like Motel Hell.

No, that wasn't Tobey. I think it's a, it's a Reyes like it's like motel hell. No, no, that wasn't Toby. I think it's a lot. I think it's a Toby. Toby? Yeah. I'm going to say I'm a chainsaw in the summer school. Okay. I think he would know. That's how he bases all of his pronunciation choices. Yeah, I based my life man. Following the teachings of chainsaw. After you get to the shower, do you put on a bath robot? of chains. After you get to the shower, do you put on a bath robe? I was good about to say, do you order a co-baby? But that is pronounced that way. So, they take the form shack. They take the form shack. That source loan lives in and the cop says, I'll handle this and tries to interrogate him like a cop. We know you're doing this stuff. You better turn over on us. And then,

so our Sloan takes a gun and hits Christians later in the chest and Slater proceeds to give up two minutes of exposition explaining the entire plot. Everything that's involved, which right now there's this file. They hired you to kill the guy with the file. Then they hired this other guy who's an ex French foreign Legion fighter and mercenary to kill you. And it's all stuff the audience knows already, basically. You could have started talking and they could have cut away and cut back. Yeah.

A note to screenwriters, even if you think that you, your plot needs to be reiterated in that way, like you can really do it in a few sentences. It's this, it's, learn a lesson from North by Northwest where Leo G. Carroll, I think it is, has to fill carry grant in on what happened in the movie. We know this already, so we see them walk for about 20 seconds and they walk past an airplane and the propeller's so loud you don't hear what they're saying and then when the sound comes back up, Carrie Grant's like, oh, so that's what happens, huh? It's such a great way to just gap over all the explanation of what we've already seen.

So I guess what I'm saying is bullet to the head is known with my Northwest. And Walter Hill as much as I love him is no Alfred H. Cut. But anyway, especially since the mercenary and his henchmen are surrounding the swamp shack. So we can just cut to that and then cut back to Christian Slater having already explained everything. But it turns out there's a flash drive that Christian Slater has that has all the information about where. So I tech where the African african warlord real estate moguls bribes have been going uh... they take the flash drive from him and then the mercenaries shoot up the swamp oh then so i just want to choose christian slater in the head i forgot

about that yeah then the bad guys shoot up the swamp shack uh... that's the tassel are bullet to the head there are so many bullets to the head of the bad guy it's a bullet of the head that's a bullet to the head there are so many bullets to the head and that guy gets a bullet to the head it should have been called bullets to the head I think I think that's that's the bullet I think they're talking about the bullet to the head inside all of us okay like the movie is a literal bullet into our heads it's a movie bullet into our watching the opening titles do feature a bullet flying through each of the titles you like the fact that apparently the name of the bar, whatever was bullet to the head?

It's the hotel they go to, the ending. They go into the hotel and it pans up, and there's a CGI neon sign on it that says bullet to the head. So the title of the movie, but also looks like it's the bullet to the head hotel. Yeah, you don't want to stay there. No, you're going to get a bullet to your head. But the first opening shot of the movie

was literally a bullet to your head. But the first opening shot of the movie was literally the bullet smashing through all the production logos of the movie that they made that you're watching and I gotta tell you in a way rivals the opening to Rocky IV when the American boxing love and the Soviet boxing club punch each other and then explode. But it's not as good as that. So Stuart, you would advise not going to the bullet to the whole head hotel. I mean, I guess it depends on if you want to build your head don't order the room service

i advise instead staying at the happiness hotel from the great muppet caver because i got a bunch of fun muppets and it's a terrible hotel yeah but you really run down and grab a help you when Charles groten frames you for a crime just a matter of time around muppets they never get washed they smell terrible yeah they're like wet dogs what you're saying especially Ralph oh boy especially Ralph in the rain yeah which is a painting I painted for you I think I really got across the sadness of Ralph in the rain yeah yeah he's sad because his piano died you see

the tombstone in the corner that says RIP Ralph's piano How did it die? We hardly played you Turn might turn might yeah piano timer turn might. Oh, thanks Hang this up in the studio Yeah, the love house recording studio here in flop house city Michelle Dan McCoy mentioned one do three fake street no town USA Planet wrong So anyway, they get that they get the swamp check it's shot up with the worst animated bullets

I've ever seen it ends imagining planet wrong screenplays right What in a world where nothing is right planet so wrong has got to be right You may be right I may be a planet But it just may be a plan that you are living on the people who turn out the light the people who listen to this podcast You wasting energy for movie information. Oh, I'm still angry right now. Well, everyone's angry at us all the time. They have clicked unsubscribe. This is not what Parade Magazine promised.

Anyway, they said this would be fun. Listener. To make a long story short. A summer lesson. To make a long story short, Sebastian Sloan and the detective Juan jump out of the swamp shack into the swamp, and then Sebastian Sloan sets off bombs. he's planted all around his own house, killing all the mercenaries except for Cal Drogo,

who jumps into the water as well. Kwan says, that's it, you're killing too many people, and the mercenary becomes obsessed with killing Sylvester Stallone. Kwan meets with a New Orleans lieutenant, and it's the scene from the beginning of the movie. Turns out the lieutenant is crooked crooked all the cops are crooked and Sylvester Stallone comes and saves him. Yeah, they decide now It's time to get serious and get revenge because Kegan Caldroggo kidnapped Sylvester Stallone's daughter

Also, there's a time when they went by Sylvester Stallone's daughter's house to look at the flash drive and she was taking a bath and got out of the bath and was super nude Regular amount of nude was that was that a bath and got out of the bath and was super nude. Mm-hmm. Regular amount of nude, but that was not a butt double, Dan. Uh, I- I was just one butt, I counted. I mean, like, I don't think it was a double for the topless shot, so it would seem weird if they stuck in a butt double. She's very private about her butt. Mm-hmm.

Butt privates. Private butts. That's an old world party story. Butt privates. Private, private. Private, butt, and butt privates together again. private but that's an old world party story but private private private but private together again I mean book private was now in Castella movie sorry no no but a little already made but private the general the general idea of the jokes just there they were fighting World War Anyway, we can start on Brad Pitt with, so you're saying butts have risen up and are

destroying the world? Brad Pitt needs to find the cure for butts. This is without a doubt the dumbest thing that's ever been said on this five guest. Brad Pitt and Michael Pitt started with the war butt. But I thought Sean Connery already found the cure for butts then lost it you know like you lose your butt And then movie medicine butt with Lorraine brother. Yeah He was in the Amazon butt forest Let it dumb thing anyway

So Kagan kidnaps the daughter and takes her to a warehouse where all the bad guys are just hanging out, but they want the flash drive. So Vester's alone decides. You can't be in the least suitable form. You can't go to the shooting place, you can go and abandon warehouse. No, a single one has realized they need to start wearing helmets to prevent bullets from entering their heads. Because even though the name of the movie should warn them, that's where the bullets going.

Exactly. I've been ahead, I should protect my bullets. So Vester Stallone shows up alone, unarmed, detective Kwan is sneaking into the warehouse meanwhile, and they basically- He's like an argument or something. So Vester Stallone says to the- The bad guy, Morrell, the mushroom king. He says he says like, oh, I have your daughter. Give me the flash drive. And he says, okay, we'll but but he and he says, what about that

policeman? And he goes, well, if you pay me enough, I'll kill the policeman. And they haggle over it. And then Swiss is alone leaves. And Kagan, who's really mad because a lot of his henchmen have been killed, says're just gonna let him go and he gets really mad and kills the main bad guy and that some of the main bad guys with the rest of the red you know what else would you expect then it's just quan and silvestre's loan and keegan running around shooting the rest of the henchmen silvestre's loan blows up a car and then caldroggo and silvestre's alone on shooting the rest of the henchmen, so this one blows up a car and then Cal Drogo

and Sylvester Stallone, Drogo and Bobo are gonna finally face off and there's two framed axes the plaque that says like to the fireman who saved the city 1910 and he breaks open the case, takes out the axes and Sylvester Stall goes, what do we Vikings? And then they fight with axes for a while and what was frankly a pretty good

X fight I have to admit and like I like a good X fight that's all the X fight to neighbor and we can remember that's for damn sure and uh... can't show them to and it was also a fight that had like an arc to it in that when it starts out so that's just alone is losing he's attached he's not in as good a shape is not as young he's not as big as the so the guy and if there is a movie that reminded you that so that's just known as a very short man is this one yeah but it's almost like

so long it's like still on usually has tricks that he has directors do to make him look taller and as if Walter Hill was like yeah I'm not doing that yeah look we're just shooting it normal and so it's but it's a pretty good x-fight and they're fighting and fighting and it normal and so it's but it's a pretty good acts fight and they're fighting and fighting it ends with so vistas to learn stabbing through caldrogos foot with the acts then stabbing him in the neck with a knife because he's had this this automatic knife he's been carrying around the whole movie

uh... and then quan shoots uh... keegan in the head yeah right now but because he's learned the lesson which is justice is only serve for the on shoots, Keegan in the head. Yeah, right in the head. Bullets in the head. Because he's learned the lesson, which is just as his only serve for the bullet to the head. The Juan gets the flash drive

and so let's just learn shoots, Juan and the shoulder, and then says, when they come by, say that the bad guys got shooty and I killed all of them, and then you tried to apprehend me and I shot you. It's the old.

It's the old. Hey guys, I'm back. How you doing? Oh man, that's great. I just went out to get some tostitos! Who wants some nacho chips? I guess I'll make some. Restaurant style. If you want, usually you'd have to go to a restaurant to get chips like this. But tostitos just makes some.

You guys, I got three bags, one for each of us, but I'm gonna eat two. So you guys share this one bag. The HGH really makes me hungry for salt. Okay, thanks. I'm that hungry, but thank you. You're gonna eat two so you guys share this one bag The HGH really makes me hungry for salt You're gonna eat it Hey, so you done with the bag of those stitos yet? Yeah, because I finished my two can I take yours? Thanks? I just down these things like crazy People tell me all the time slide got a few of those stitos and I'm like It's restaurant style quality. Yeah, I don't understand. They tell you that the gym or on the side

Yeah, they told me at the gym. What's that you think I don't work out enough? No, I go to the gym all the time. I mean for your age you look great. Thank you. We mean for my age. I mean Better than you. No, I know. Maybe not better than Stewart. Thank you. Okay Yeah, look at this. I'm shredded like an inch turtle. I've got abs like lettuce. Oh, Jesus. I'm like if beef jerky had muscles. It's like an ostrich skin leather pouch bag down there. Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I haven't working out. I did also get an ostrich skin graft. I lost some skin in an accident involving sandpaper and one of those remote control helicopters that you get for kids. You know,

like those hover drones and some sandpaper. Anyway, long story short, I lost some skin. The only thing that matched my natural texture was ostrich. You got a tanet, really dry it out, then you put it on. Thank you. You know that ostrich skin, damn. Oh no, shrinks. Look, I apologize, I didn't mean it. Smells like rolf in the rain. Like, I'm gonna wet my foot. Hey, we were just talking about that.

Hey, I was just thinking about it. Let me show you this painting I painted. It's called a bullet to rolf's head. It's me shooting rolf in the head. Now, I don't think moped really have brains I think it's a hand inside there, but I painted it like it's brains Like cotton balls coming out of his head. Yeah, that's what I used to model it very. Yeah, very good You got a good eye for art puts inside all of us Dan

Anyway, I'll see you guys later. I'm gonna go on like a kind of a tostito binge Goodbye rocket car Hey guys what I miss I Just went into a kind of a fugues date for a couple minutes Yeah, it's trying to wake you up. Are you doing anything? No, no, still all still on only travels by rocket powered Transportation what the hell does that mean? Oh'm sorry forget you forget I've been unconscious I know who you were talking to how we traveled common screenwriting mistake You need characters to explain everything to every other character to show that they know it like in the movie bullet to the head

Which then ends with So that's just loans daughter decides to stay with Juan to make sure he gets help. They've really hit it off in the choice that they've met. Uh, and- We've got a great head of hair. That's true. He does. And it turns out, I mean, he's a good looking guy. And it turns out that Kwan doesn't list leaves Bobo out of the story.

So that's just Lone free to go despite all the people he's dealt. Like a boy. They meet up at a bar and Kwan says, look, I'm fucking your daughter. He doesn't say it that way. Way more than that. He's like, we got to know each other really well In fact very well and especially like you guys know each other very well, huh? And he says look I'm not gonna rest you for the people you've killed in the past

But if you go get out of line again, I'm going to rest you and most of us want like all right Well whatever and then says and cuz I deserved it I got myself a nice car and gets in what a for a portion drives away. It's not even a super sporty car. I like it's like a BMW. No, it's a sport. No, it's got it's got the Mustang logo on the front. You forget that. I forgot, Dan. I forgot your gear head. You know cars. I have this gear in my head which allows me to access the internet and Google cars. You're like a regular Phineas gauge. The Phineas car is about a Kwann's line about how we got to know Stallone's daughter really

well is his arc was supposed to be that he went from like kind of a wimpier guy to like a tougher no nonsense guy and he's just still the same wimpie guy. Yeah, well he was never super wimpie. I mean he had a gun and he was a cop and everything. So are you saying he's regressing to more of a wimps state? That's not what I'm saying at all, but you're saying he should just be like I'm bony or daughter now And then maybe not the deal with it. He should order a bullet rye to show that like he picked something up from the old man But he doesn't instead it becomes a commercial for a car at the end after having been a commercial for whiskey and cell phones the whole time

so uh... so thanks to uh... a special guest appearance uh... by celebrity that i missed it i missed it i'm sorry i thought it was a celebrity was it emcee skett cat uh... we've sure been talking about it emcee skett ganey cat uh... but we got to move on to our uh... our final judgements was this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of like steward what you have to say it is

uh... movie hovering between a bad bad movie and a movie i kind of like that guess because it isn't a good bad movie in any way no i like it silly fun to make fun of. But no, it was pretty terrible, and it wasn't even like Grimtuff enough for me to enjoy. I gotta say, it was a movie I kinda liked, other than the exposition, which was excessive. For a 90-minute movie, it was very excessive

to have the plot explain to us, I think, five terms it was it was in fact a 90 minute movie and it also was a movie that was you know like it was in that tradition of very stripped down be action movies where not a lot crazy happened it was just a couple tough guys and there were just too much of a negative ladies walking around for not much of a reason Yeah, this was a this felt a lot like I also kind of liked it This is but it is a bad movie, but I kind of liked it It's it felt like a real throwback to 80s action movies and made very few concessions to the time period that we are living in right now

But there were a few wonky other than cell phones other than cell phone But I mean in terms of plot, in terms of style. Like even the soundtrack was very like guitar and harmonica, like Midnight Run 80's soundtrack. There were a few weird technical things where like, there would be these weird cuts with flair effects and suddenly you'd be 10 hours later or something and it was just made no sense. But yeah, you know. You know, like.

Yeah. But it was real made no sense. But yeah, you know, it was real hell is anogenic. Yeah, but like, you know, there was a fun axe fight. A lot of people got bullets to the head. Newed ladies were walking around and I am a have a soft spot for swesters to loan and I don't mean my heart. I mean, it is my heart, but I don't have a soft heart. It's still on his disease. In case you guys haven't heard of it. Sad, really. But the, but I yeah, I, I kind of, this movie I kind of liked. If you're looking for a stripped down, stupid action movie, this is not the worst one to watch in the past couple of years.

I would just say that having last episode, I recommended the last stand, I think. And I think for a comeback stripped down action movie, I think you'll find better thrills there. In the last stand. Yeah. So now it's time to turn to the Flop House Movie Mailbag. Yeah, let's listen to it. Let's play a song for a letter song, right?

Yeah, I think we do. And it goes like this. It's letters time. Letters time. Time for those letters. Check the clock and see what time it is. It's a trick question all the numbers say letters. All the time is letters time. All the letters all the time. Time for letters all the time. It's time for letters time.

Right now, right now, right now, right now, right now. Time for the letters right now. I'm a letter from the bad part of town. I got a dream of being on the flop house. Will it be me? Pick me. Pick me. Will it be me? I'm a rich snob letter, but even I have a dream to be on the flop house. I can't buy my way in. It's the one thing that money can't buy is the flop house. I'm back from the war. I'm a letter. I saw some things that I wish I could forget. Tadalim Loot on the flop house guys. My master was killed. I'm a letter in feudal Japan. Now I have to get revenge then Sepico. But first the flop house, can you save me from Bushido? This letter is titled Think of the Children.

I'm an unborn letter. How do the children? So much potential. Spencer last name. Haven't even been written yet, but my soulmate says. And the Spencer gifts. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, say again, what's going on?

This is a letter is titled Think of the Children from Spencer last name withheld of Spencer's gifts It goes dear flappers. I was hoping to eat your opinion on 1994's milk money where Melanie Griffith takes $100 a friend of mine auditioned for a role in that when he was a kid. He did not get it Melanie Griffith takes one hundred dollars for a milling rivers roll Well, he wanted to live a role of money, but he got the role of milk That was the Harvey Milk story right after the letter so I can't

I mean so I'm only going to say $100 to have sex with the kids dad from a group of three boys to briefly show them her boobs. Oh that's what happens. Give me a fucking break. How can that be considered

anything less than blatant exploitation of naive children. She's a prostitute by profession and they're $100 roughly $150 considering inflation, she's gone her way more in the open market. So is this just a podcast for people to write in with their random complaints about movies from 15 years ago, 20 years ago? I'm not advocating her. The value of

Melanie Grevitz boobs is way less than $100. I'm not advocating her getting involved in a gangbang with much of 12 year old I hope that's what that had been the ending of the movie or no book of it, right? What a killer to give them some full frontal nudity a brief group or maybe even throw one of the kids a hand job I'm not all of that would be illegal. Yeah, why you picked this letter? You Dan I could be singing a very wholesome song about the cast of characters and the letters. Like, we, uh... I was not able to select letters earlier today and I just gave a cursory like to these letters.

You saw milk money, you said, oh great, I like that one. Oh wow it. Um, so... I think it says a lot about our character and helps explain how our love interest goes from being a mild-mannered school teacher It's the eventual mastermind of a large-scale terrorist attack on San Francisco. He means that heron Silly last Spinja lasting with hell gifts you are right

Milk money is gross The idea of it is gross a bunch of kids buy prostitute for one of the kids dead Well, they buy the prostitute's boobs for their eyes let's continue this standard of letters coming in about older movies that people have problems with like what was he think about this for a long time I love that standard I would love to like it turned into yeah well if you see a movie from forever ago and you have a one issue and let me I just saw getting even with dad So he hit the money in a bag on a mannequin. How did nobody find it before him? No, they like but also they graft this weird environmentalist cause onto this movie about a prostitute and some kids

I don't remember that at all. Yeah, it's all about That's the one where the stepmother was an alien, right? No, that was my stepmother's nail That was so and you thought your family was weird. Mm-hmm. That was called one where the stepmother was an alien, right? No, that was my stepmother's nail. That was, and you thought your family was weird. That was called robot in the family. That was called robot jocks in the family. Robot in the family. I haven't thought about that for a long time. The most irritating robot in movie history.

So, yeah. I'm a cat letter. Miam, miam, miam. Oh, god. So this letter is titled, a chance for mutual MC Gainey. Greetings, floppers. I don't know what that means. True story on my late father's deathbed or stolen terms.

Oh man, you really didn't listen to every any of these letters at a time, did you? True story on my late father's deathbed or stolen terms on my late father's deathbed. Okay. He used his last breath to beg me to achieve his unfulfilled livestream. To open a chain of restaurants that would specialize in serving duffel bags filled with sauerkraut and the higher MC game to help market the G-Vinshure and characters Murdoch from wild hogs. It's pretty expensive So imagine my distress when I heard your plans for a similar venture to use him to promote garbage bags full of coal sloth Yeah

Rather than go the season to sis root. I'm hoping we reach some sort of mutually beneficial agreement. You could have Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and I could use them on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. After all, there's a lot of gaining to go around. There's another day of the week, or does MCGain take the Sabbath off? And I don't really know. I've sized 15 feet, which I've always viewed as a curse because they're easy to trip over and cost a small fortune to put shoes on.

I don't know. It's just like stream of consciousness segment? What is going on? But aren't people supposed to write it until Dan how great he is? But if nothing else, they would apparently be an object of desire for Elliott. Oh, yeah, my big foot fetish.

Yours, floppy. Elliott, screw withholding my last name and also I have a podcast too called Tales of the Smoking Chihuahua. And if you'd mentioned that, it would be awesome. Meeker. What's the podcast about? Apparently a smoking Chihuahua. And also have a podcast to called tails of the smoking shawala and if you'd mentioned that it would be awesome meeker What that what's the podcast about? Apparently smoking shawala. Oh well I'm sold so So we are the flop-ass donut doors any dogs smoking

Well, Marvadook smoke we can talk. That's pretty cool that if he's wearing sunglasses. I bet he would be smoke like a big a big cigar to Not like dog. Yeah, too. Not like a dog. He wouldn't have a fucking deer stalker at in a pipe or something. It would basically be the scene in all of our company where the child was smoking a cigar. You think he would have like a Calabash pipe? What are you saying? Yeah.

He'd have a Calaban pipe. A Taliban pipe. A Taliban? No. Oh, boy. So yeah, I think we can share MCGain. He much like Alan Mon is wife shared that woman for a while

uh... you know in the gaby and that's why and the uh... the woman they shared no the woman they shared his name is lost to history i think it's lost in alan was beard uh... rate it are and it's really that's actually yeah probably uh... but yet and uh... garbage bag full of coal sloth and good luck your podcast boy

Still a valid restaurant if anyone wants to invest in it So our land cigarette smoke what was it called smoking Chihuahua? Yeah, okay tails of the smoking Chihuahua tails of the smoking Chihuahua Sales the goldmunk this last letter is title letters you've got ellipses letters and uh... it's from sarah last name with help she writes serrige's wife still recording and i stopped recording and make your friends leave i'm trying to sleep

serrige and see from this crummy phone picture my jury cubicle is live in up by one of my favorite ebay photos Edward g robinson hope hampton and herbert marshal is live and up by one of my favorite eBay photos. Edward G. Robinson, Hope Hampton, and Herbert Marshall, yucking it up in 1939. There was a lot to laugh about in 1939. Elliot never needed to apologize again for recommending Studio Aera classics. There's at least one of us out there that lives in the Flophouse podcast, slash TCM Vin Diagram Overlapped. Oh thank you Sarah. I have two classic movie-related questions. One, no appearance by Jean Tierney in the Elliot Kalen Starfucker TV series, knowing Elliot's preference for Bruno

Nets, I would have thought that she would have certainly made the list. Well, you got to say something for season two. Number two, who played the recurring world role of Cock blocker on Elliot Kalen Starfucker? Fucker. Sydney Green Street, Leo Gorsi, Angela Rosito. Why am I not choosing handsome guys? Am I doing this wrong? I think either Leo Gorsi would be great. Maybe a Kim Tameroff or possibly Dan McCoy. But in the future as well. Well he, while I was going through the time. I'm like the evil leaper and like the quantum leaper. I think it's more like well I'm going through the time transporter. You, hey, I brought your lunch and you jump in with me

and you're my bumbling side kick who gets. Oh, so you're not, there's no, actually you have to fucking charge. Oh no, in fact, you get chased by a gorilla in every episode. That fucks me. No, not at all. That is no.

There's nothing funny about that. There's nothing funny about it. There's nothing any human can do to the social duty. It wasn't consensual, dude. Yeah, okay, unless you're into it. Yeah. No matter what trading places may have taught us, there's nothing funny.

There is. There is. Look, I've done a PowerPoint. I have literally done a PowerPoint. It's not, it's not funny, because it's, it's probably, yeah, erotic in that point. But there is nothing funny about the real is raping people in movies.

There's nothing funny. Let me just say this. There is no crime so horrible that it deserves like a monkey throwing a bone in a box. Yeah. Throwing a bone. Yep. So I hope that answers your question about Gene Tierney.

Is that season two? We've got a lot saved up. Don't worry. Um, but now we need to move on. Are they going to do an episode where it's all jeans? Jean Tierney, Jean Arthur, Jean Kelly. Wow, sure. I mean, well, he's got... And they're going to get... Imagine you're still with us.

Oh, very much so. What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha recommendations of movies to watch that you might actually enjoy. That we think are good. I'll start for once. Do it. I watched a movie this last weekend called Big Brown Eyes starring Carrie Grant. I see Stuart squinting as if he wants to make a joke about an anus. But I will cut that off. It is a movie that is clearly meant to be in the thin man vein.

It is Carrie Grant as a cop. And I forget the name of the woman who played his lady friend, but they are both kind of equal partners in trying to crack a crime case. Just say Carrie Grant, which builds C-A-R-R-R-I-E. Sure. And she's got telekinetic powers. equal partners in trying to crack a crime case just a carry grandpa to build C.A.R.R.I.E. and she's got telekinetic powers. So carry grants a cop and his major friend starts out as a manager. He's a lead friend starts out as a manicurist becomes a newspaper woman briefly and then returns to be a manicurist. It's something I love about a certain type of 30s movie is that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the criminals through putting out newspaper headlines. And then it's back to manicures her first true love.

But this is, you know, like there are a lot, like, carry grant obviously appear in a lot of really great classic movies, but it's sort of a treat to find a second tier carry grant movie that you may not have heard of. That's also a lot of fun. This is kind of a screw ball mystery. It's nowhere near as good as the third man or something like that. But it moves along very quickly.

It's 77 minutes. It's got a lot of snappy dialogue. It's got a lot of plot turns. An instruction by Raoul Walsh, who was a great old Hollywood shooter. High Sierra. All sorts of stuff. So that's my recommendation. Big brown eyes.

Elliot. Should I go or would you like to go? Elliot I would like to go now. Okay. I'm going to recommend, I think it was from last year a documentary called The Queen of Versailles. I've pronounced it mostly correctly. The first three words you pronounce correctly.

What I do. So The three words you pronounce correctly. What I said I do. So the Queen of Versailles, it's a Queen of Vermester base. No. Oh, boy. So, okay guys, the Queen of Versailles is a movie about a, it's a documentary that started out as a chronicling of this Florida family building the world's largest single-family home and midway through the construction, the housing market collapses, and the documentary shifts

tone to watching this family go from like Uber Hyper-Welthy to slightly less riches. From a big house to the poor house. And just, but it's, it manages to be a really interesting uh... which is actually I guess not that bad going from jail to just a poor place. Yeah so yeah. Unless you can't hack it on the outside. Uh oh. But it's deaders prison. Wait deaders prison? Hellraiser sequel? So it's dexterous prison. Oh terrible. So it's dexterous prison. Oh, terrible. So it's a really shitty show that Stuart Hates. Awesome. You go there because you like it. So and the movie ends up being, it ends up being like the story of the American, like the housing collapse in America, kind of writ large. And yeah, amazing how much sympathy you have by the end of it for these rich people who are terrible,

but they're also human beings. If you are reminded that people who are awful are also human beings. Yeah. And you also get to see a lot of shots of dog shit on the floor. Yep. So if you like seeing dog shit, you like seeing dog shit and dead pets. And at a certain point it seems like it's been, they like seeing dog shit and dead pets. It's a certain point. It seems like it's been they're building the world's biggest gray gardens.

Just dog shit and animals running around and half finished construction. Building gray gardens, the gray gardens themed amusement park. Yeah, I go to that great gardens. Yet to eat corn. What rides would they have at the gray gardens amusement park? The lion bed The end of the the scarbs go round And the roller coasters just called yelling at little lady

I'm gonna recommend a movie now. How about that fellas? You had your turn now. It's my turn Oh, man, seven pounds or like we'll bring said at the at the that he didn't that story in the health of what what says like that you had your shot now it's mine or whatever punch somebody that the sun is in the sewers and he does punch a guy

okay that's what's the best of what it does is recommend movies and we're from that messy x-men reference i go to the movie recommending and it's a movie called Close Up. It's an Iranian film from 1990 that is part documentary, part documentary, part force, part lion with the tail of a snake. A creature from Greek Mews. It's a film by Alice. Look at these, yes. Your mother-in-law's in town. uh... it's a film by i don't think he is ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Monitor. The mom of the tour is played by Kathy Najib. I like it.

Late Anne Ramsey. Then who? Thing of? From the train? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, sure. Throw a minotaur from the train. Chris Cross. I'll kill your wife. You'll kill the minotaur. The nervous spectre. Well, you're real tales in the crib. You have no motive for killing a minotaur. Exactly. Throw a minotaur. Exactly. Throw a minotaur from the train.

Billy Crystal, Danny DeVito in a minotaur. The hard part was getting a minotaur. There's a nationwide casting series. All these minotaur's lined up holding the sides in their hands. And they picked a plucky young unknown minotaur from Kansas City. Uh, ruined by Hollywood though, found dead in the hotel. Wow, that's sad. Anyway, you were saying about a movie?

So I'm recommending the movie Close Up. It's a movie directed by Abbas Karyostomy. Is that how it's pronounced? Like Kulanastomy? Karyostomy. I would say Karyostomy. Karyostomy. Anyway, you may know him from a lot of other Iranian movies. set house pronounce like colonel st. curious to carry a stony i would take care stony

anyway you may know him from a lot of other running movies uh... he's a major filmmaker but this is a movie that it's kind of part documentary and part reenactment using the people who actually did these things in real life and it's about the story of a cut a guy who was a impoverished uh... printers clerk

basically decided to use he was mistaken one day by a woman as another Iranian director, Mohsen Makmoboff, and he basically decided to just pretend to be that director and went to this woman's family's house and spent a lot of time with this family pretending like he was going to make a movie in their house. They were going to be in it, putting them through rehearsals, borrowing money from them, and eventually they found out he was not the man he said he was and he was arrested. And this movie is a combination of footage of the trial that he went through and just seeing how Iran conducted a trial at that time and maybe still was interesting.

But then also the real people from that this happened to reenacting scenes of what happened in real life in this story. And it becomes a very touching and moving story about a man who kind of just wants to feel important and does something that doesn't really hurt anybody but is still an abuse of trust. And you have to wonder trust and you have to wonder and you have to wonder what it was like for these people to re-enact the scenes that they went through with this man who fooled them for the camera. And it's a little slow at times but overall it's really good and just a different type

of movie and very interesting and I'd recommend it's called Close Up. Three movies. Yeah. Well, guys, I think first we should make one final recommendation. We should recommend people that like our podcast to go check out all things comedy or the other podcast. There's a whole network of good podcasts over there. It's like a bullet of comedy to your head. And the thing they haven't common, it's all comedy. It's like a bullet to your funny bone. Oh that would hurt no one would make you laugh. It's like it's like all things comedy. Like normally you go into place most things comedy to get one tragedy thing over the corner. Yeah, some things comedy, majority sadness. Yeah. This is like if the all thing the legendary beginning of democracy in Europe the cyber grease uh you know your skin and even democracy

was comedy yeah all things comedy all things comedy dot com yeah that was basically what i was going to say before you guys interrupt me so say what you know i was going to go jabber on about the all thing and Swedish mythology okay well they've got a lot of good uh a lot of good podcast there, so give it a listen. Allthxcomedy.com. Read it, our podcast has to come to an end. Must it?

It must. And to that end, I say, mustered is delicious. We put on our little sleeping caps. Yeah, we're all tuck ourselves in. We stay long-signed bed. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all tuck ourselves in. We stay long-join inside a little sardine can bed.

We're all wearing our pajamas. We're all wearing pajamas. Our pajamas for Stuart, it's a long undro with a peek-a-boo butt flap. For me, it is like a baby onesie with no feet. And I'm wearing the lingerie that Frankenfurter wears in the Rocky Horror Picture. And we're all tucked in an inch over the can. We use the key to fill it out so we can go to sleep. We blow out the firefly that's standing next to us as a light.

Blow it with a gun or something? No, we just blow on its button. It knows the turn, it's light out. Yeah. And I whisper to you, goodnight everyone, I've been Dan McCoy. Wouldn't I have been Stuart Valentine? And I'm Elliot Kaelin. See you in our dreams. Private birds. That was creepy.

It's not like there are a bunch of abominable snowmen or women in this case. Or as the case may be, snow women. I'm still willing to equal opportunity cryptos who all the just.