The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #134 - Upside Down

Episode Date: September 7, 2013

Unfortunately not the sequel to Topsy-Turvy. Upside Down is a movie about two young lovers from planets with reverse gravity, and we somehow make it through the whole episode without making a joke about 69-ing. Meanwhile, Stuart gets his annual review, Dan can't stop getting all science-y, Elliott discusses auto-erotic time travel, and... we'll let you enjoy the surprise.

In this episode we discuss the movie that proves love can conquer even basic science. Upside Down. Hey everyone, welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy. And this is Stuart Wellington of the Flop House Podcast, voice of the Flop House House cat, Roar Rouse. And I'm Elliot Kaylen, the third and final host of the Fl house, but I'm the guest. It's I'm Halle Haglyn Yes, that's right. What dude a popular demand? She's here the Lucy to my Charlie Brown Elliot's Linus and Stuart Snoopy Wait on snoopy yeah, Stuart pigpin and I don't even know him I'm not a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid.

I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid.

I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid.

I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. I'm a stupid kid. Keeper and rock of ages and you set the flop house fan world on fire. So we thought saying get rid of that steward guy He's got too much sexual chemistry with Elliott. Yeah The kid be his sister Yeah, no, we figured why wait why wait till one of us has let's force it go out of town. Yeah, let's let's do it for some guys Like the end of a seduction cinema movie

Just four lesbians on a tarps Speaking of woods tarps Not no one has ever spoken of that ever except me just now Yeah, I couldn't think of a segue So howdy. Yes, this is your first time really interacting with Stuart. It is? What do you think of this guy? Wait, what?

This was your plan? This is your performance reveal. Well, as he described himself to me, he is a cool laid-back dude. I think I said party dude. Oh, party. You get his notices right now. Yeah, do you have to write an email. What's

what's going on here? You're good. By the way, pink as a lobster. It just came from the beach. I think you mean red as a lobster. Oh, he's not red. He's pink. I'm ready. I'm ready. Pink girls dress. That's pink. The girl is pink too. Both. It's camel flies. You think she's naked when you look at her. It refers to what you realize. No, it's just a big dress. You're like, is that skirt part of her body? It's a Marycake Invertible.

That's true. OK. So I was at the beach today, and I assumed I'd be cool. I don't be. I'm smart for school. After a day at the beach, it's on to the body. Life is literally a beach for school. Wait, what?

Yep. So I assumed I don't need sunscreen. I probably should have put on sunscreen, but I'll be fine. I've been drinking all day. I'm good, man. Yeah, sure. That booze. It's the natural sunscreen.

It's no hydrate, man. No, it does the opposite. So, Dan, what are we doing this five times? Oh, Dan, you want to talk about my skin? I'm on Stuart's skin commissions. Dan's knee was making a weird sound a couple of minutes ago. Stuart's skin is the microphone picking up Dan's weird knee sound. It probably is everybody shut up.

Shut up like five minutes. Eee. Eee. Welcome to my phone. Wait, so the knee is the paper store? Yeah. So what are we doing this podcast yeah you got distracted it's a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about it I don't know why I feel the need to reset that it's a podcast every I mean the podcast is us talking about it

We don't watch the movie while we record yeah, okay, well, that's that's back up. We discuss after just Discussion of a bad movie that we have just watched and what movie did we watch this time? I watched a movie called upside hyphen down and It's a knife. I think so. I don't remember that I'm looking at that. I don't think there's a hyphen. I would remember I Been some misinformation. Nobody posts any shit on the internet about us fucking it up. This is not hyphen gate, okay? We know there's no hyphen just Dan being wrong Now Dan you were pretty intense. You want to talk about pink skins more. It's gonna

I wanted to watch is that what you're gonna say? Yeah, you were you were intense you really intend to watch this because it's a stupid concept eerily intent on watching this. Because it's a stupid concept. It's a very unique concept. Because they were by when they came up with it. Two Star Cross lovers who live on separate planets, planets. Literally, literally Star Cross because... Yeah, they live on two different planets. What if they were Star Crossed Glovers?

Danny Glovers? And Donald Glover. And we're just getting between... And they've been crossed by a star and they want to get revenge It's called star revenge No, this is a movie about Jim's charges and and Hurston Dunst Chris and don'ts. They live on different planets. They play themselves One of them is a successful actress and the other is a guy from England.

And the other is like, oh, what was he in? I know I recognized him. Oh no, I guess I didn't, because I just read his name in TV pages and I've never seen anything. Okay, so here we go. Wanna say what this movie is about? Two planets, like in New York. No, you want me to say? Okay, so there's, this story follows a boy named Adam who lives on one of two planets that are eternally locked each others gravitonic embrace the there are three there are two planets that exist just right next to each other all the time yeah and they have three rules as a gas moves three laws of planet cottage three rules the best thing about a movie is sitting down and having somebody explain a shitload of rules it opens. It opens with about what 30 minutes of exploratory, exploratory monologue.

You know how when you're playing a game for the first time and your favorite part is somebody explaining the rules. Yeah, that's like this, but in a movie for you. You know how you go to the movies and you just want to relax, sit back in the dark and then like learn a bunch of rules. You know how when you many buttons. Pass me the rules manual, sir. I want to read all about this. When you buy a video game and it comes with an instruction manual, the first thing you do is you sit down and you read that manual, cover the cover. If I go, cool, the registration writes on this game.

It was the visual designer. And here's the address to write to in case I have any issues with the technology. Can't wait to play this. Thank you. So, Konami, there's three rules here in this universe this made up fake E fictional allegorical universe one the two planets have different Gravities okay, but all matter is pulled to the world that it originated in they told on is that the first rule? That's the first rule. I have an objection, but I'll let you keep going. What's your objection?

Is it that gravity doesn't work that way? Gravity is controlled by mass rather than just what planet you're from. Well, get used to it, because nothing is science in this movie. All right. It works off what I would call fairy tale science, where the heart is stronger than the brain. What?

The heart is the strongest muscle. Yeah. The heart is the biggest erogenous zone. The heart is a low-me hunter. Because no one wants to walk around with a gross heart just rolling around next to you. No. Do you want to go with a spear in his hands? It's a heart hunting for what? It doesn't need to eat.

Getting covered in gravel and dirt. It's probably sticky, right? Grass, yeah. It's like teenage being in Utah. It's like crang, but it's a heart. It's all OK, guys. But without a robot exoskeleton to pee all over people with. Oh, that horrible picture.

OK, rule number two. Remember peeing all over people. That'll come into play if I do. Yeah, this is, it's rare that we see. We're the best card in the movie. It's a rare that we see a movie that actually has a urine scene in it. But this, I guess, it's rare that we see the best card in the movie. It's a rare that we see a movie that actually has a urine scene in it. But this, I guess the paper boy and this.

I know that scene where they switch bodies because they pee in the same fountain. But we didn't watch that movie for this. Oh. I watched that for funzos. Funzos of the clown? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you report on it? You oughta gun to my end.

Why masturbated? It was really weird. Some days someone will catch fun so The clown that makes you masturbate at gunpoint to Jason Bateman movies. Oh fun, so it took like all five minutes Okay, we'll number two and objects weight can be offset by matter from the opposite world So like if you wear a bunch of weights from one planet on from the other planet on you you can hang out on that planet like math but But and this is this is for you put a bunch of weights on you from another planet if you wear if number three if one piece of matter from one world Lands on the other world for too long it goes on fire

It just starts burning up like a hunka hunka burning metal. That's which there's a lot in this. So okay, well, there's two worlds. One of them, the upper world is all rich and they one of the bottom worlds down the down world, I guess, is poor. It's like a lesium except you don't need a rocket ship to go between them. The two worlds are just right there. There's no awesome exoskeleton. There's no exoskeleton. If you climb to a mountain, you can just jump to the other world if you want. And young Adam. Multiple times.

Who learned, who is an orphan who learns from his great aunt's, the secret of making. We won't take him in. I thought that was a valid point made by Stuart earlier when we were watching the movie. Yeah, he's got this great aunt who lives a bike ride away from the orphanage. And she makes these,

just a great aunt, she's an alright aunt. And she makes these fucking awesome pancakes. She knows the secret of how to use pink beeswax She's just a great aunt, she's not writing. And she makes these fucking awesome pancakes. Floating pancakes. She knows the secret of how to use pink beeswax to make floating pancakes. This will come in handy because this movie is hella dumb. This is not some gibberish that we made up. This is an actual plot point.

Now I know what you're thinking. Floating pancakes is this the Ulylov's movie? Those were flying pancakes. They cooked by a vacuum cleaner for a pillow. If you didn't remember that, I have a good listen to it. It's a treat. Anyway, so he has the power to, he knows how to make an I grab the stuff. And he meets and falls in love with a girl from the other planet and they climb to each other. You turn into Kristen Dunn's.

To the top of a very tall mountain to meet each other. Basically, because besides one other woman in this movie, she's the only woman he's ever seen. Yeah. Well, who's he gonna fall in love with? Is a great aunt that's gross. Oh, yeah. That woman with messy hair later on in the movie. Yeah, she's the other woman.

She's available, probably. I have to assume her hair is a mess. Yeah, if she found a man, she would straighten her hair out. That's how it works, right? The first thing that happens when you get tied down, like, well, my days of wild... My days of wild... My days of wild... Time to iron you and you just take an iron and put it right on your hair.

Slam my cheek! Anyway, so he falls in love with person-dunced, they grow up. They're like high school sweethearts and they learn that they can like hang out with each other that Kristen dunce rides around on his shoulders and like he'll hold her down but then he'll jump and she pulls him into the air because her planet is pulling her back and like tigger it is the most innocent of frolicking it looks fun it does look fun but it's innocent her crotch is right behind his head but then there's also this weird rock that they can go under that holds them in one position. Yeah, yeah.

And there's like a rock that curves over them to create a like a ceilings that make us. And it's not magic. It's just like a little room. If you've been wanting to see Kristen Dunst make a almost upside down kiss ever since Spider-Man one? Spider-Man one, yeah. Okay, well this movie kind of delivers on that. It's called Spider-Man one. Spider-Man one, yeah.

Okay, well this movie kind of delivers on that. It's called Spider-Man did win in it, right? Yeah, he did win. He did win. He did win. The Green Goblin, a Goblin glider right through his sternum. Fair enough.

Yeah, but forget us somewhat upside down kiss in this. Yeah, but Halley pointed it. Kirsten does just once upside down his projects Yeah, she lost Upside down kiss projects or two planets too close to each other projects like Melancholia Yeah, the movie that asked the question how late is too late to serve dinner to wedding guests It's 2 a.m. Too late because I think so the guests are getting restless and soon your wedding is gonna be guestless The guest list. It's I'm Nipsey Russell all of a sudden.

Yeah, what's up, Halley? No, I was just going to talk more about Mel and Colley. She was depressed. I mean, but come on. You had to have sex with that other person and your wedding reception? Yeah, I mean, it was a sign of depression, I guess. I guess so. Some people just got to get it, you know.

It's just like sunny in the Godfather, but I guess it wasn't his wedding. She's having fun hanging out and naked near rivers. I forgot about that part. I mean, come on, just live in the life, guys. Live in the life. Just be a naked person. Why are you looking at me?

That's what happens. You know what I'm talking about. You're looking at me with a damn nose. Anyway, the cops see them. It's against the law for people from the two worlds to mingle and certainly not to fall in love. And so the cops see them and they shoot them. They just are blasting.

They don't even say stop. They just are blasting. In a very confusingly shot sequence where I really wasn't sure what planet the cops were on, but Kristen Dunpst and I'm still not sure Yeah, Kristen dump Falls not it's not the rocket or it's hard to say done still the time anyway Dunston checks in falls and hits her head and loses her memory 10 years later. They are the same age roughly Exactly, they look at the same but they don't know each other anymore

are the same age roughly. They look exactly the same, but they don't know each other anymore. Adam, the boy, works at a repair shop, but he is figuring out a way to make an anti-wrinkle cream out of the pink begu that gets turned into pancakes usually. So this is stupid. And so the big one. The begu you put it on your wrinkly bits and it lifts them up so you're not wrinkly anymore. Because it's attracted to the gravity of the other planet. But that doesn't like, just and it lifts them up so you're not wrinkly anymore. Because it's attracted to the gravity of the other planet. But that doesn't like just because it lifts it up doesn't mean that skin isn't floppy. You got to touch that. It totally makes you look young like happens later in the movie.

All right, it's lenderizes you somehow. Now if this was a better movie, he would use that stuff to change his face so he had a disguise. But this is not a better movie. So instead, he decides to sell the rights to trans world, the one corporation in the world that has a skyscraper that connects the two planets and that everybody works at or is oppressed by. And he gets a job there in their endless room of cubicles where he is where people work on the floor and the ceiling. Yeah.

We've also seen that there's no papers being thrown back and forth or. Yeah, there's that one scene. There's that one, you know, they have the, they use the whole people's laws. Yeah, exactly. That hands paper to people. You think they just move the floors a little bit closer together to facilitate work, but I guess not.

They try that once, and people just get above in their heads. I don't understand why the file could go between planets. Yeah. Well, this is an interesting thing We're not interesting, but stupid Some of the matter between planets like falls back between planets and is affected by the gravity of that planet and some of it You hand between plants and that's okay. Yeah, it doesn't catch on fires What you're saying? Yeah, now Kristen Dunst has no memory of him. And she just likes to while away her day is dancing at the cafe, Del Mundo's. That means two worlds.

Two worlds. And they ask for any old dance on the floor. And guess what they're also doing? Dancing on the ceiling. Oh, what a feeling. When you're dancing on the ceiling. Sealing's not a place is that you usually dance, but you start to dance.

And it can't help but dance. Take a chance. Dance on that ceiling. It's a feeling. I'll tell you. You'll be. I'll just kill you. Don't go kneeling to kings.

For the second time, I am not coming to your musical improv, shit. I am not coming to your musical improv show You should totally though. It's called duets Halley and I make up a song we don't know ahead of time with the songs gonna be or even when it's gonna be about Yeah, and it doesn't usually go very well But it's just like a feeling when it does go well to magic. Hey, let's try it again. Let's start one off and we'll do it We watched movie. It was movie. And then there's a thing we saw. The star of stealing.

Fred Armason and Chris and Wigg everybody. Fred Armason and Chris. Oh, I forgot they did that. Well, we do it better. Anyway, so we totally don't. So he gets a job in this corporation and it's also the corporation that Kirk and months work set his ex-girlfriend and if you'll remember corporations are people So it's like they're inside of people And the person exists on two planets at once. Yeah, it's the flash of two worlds anyway. What's that person's secret? That's what the point of the movie is I like a style. Anyway, he befriends a guy named Bob who lives on the upper world. What about Bob? Well, let me tell you what about Bob. He lives on upper world friends. He's not a memory. He loves burgers. He loves stamps. And he, in exchange for stamps, he helps Adam get some clothing from upper worlds that he can go up to Upper World and ask out

Crispin Guns on a date. All right, so back to the stamps. It's never made clear. It's never clearly articulated that he is a stamp collector. There's one brief scene where a stamp box is passed off from one to the other. And he looks happy. But we had to look up on Wikipedia that he was a stamp collector.

He's cramping for stamps. I'm willing to let bet that they mentioned it once some were the stamps. And we just missed it. Because we were busy saying, what is with this movie? It doesn't make sense. What's going on? How did this happen?

Yeah. But so. But he is bonkers for stamps just having Enough from the enough to break the law enough to break the only law That's law robots are allowed to kill humans That's not the law. Okay, robots are allowed yeah robots have to kill you. No kissing on the law Okay, the law is stay on your planet. Oh, OK. And he helps Adam not stay on this planet.

But as a result, Bob, she's not called to eat it. She's not called to eat it. That's eaten. Her name is eaten. Is Adam trying to get back into eating, if you know what I mean? Yeah, get it. All up in her. Get it.

Oh, get it. I thought her get it. Oh get it I thought they wanted to say eat but they were like that's two on the nose We'll say even I bet that she lives in the nice part as she lives on the nice planet. Let's call her I mean they almost go as far as having the the villain boss named like mr. Snake or something like that They totally should have done that. He's always eating apples So Bob helps him out, but as a result Bob gets fired for breaking rules and They Adam sneaks up to the upper world. Yeah, they don't fire Adam and they don't know he caused the trouble

Bob if they knew that Bob is involved because Adam used Bob's name when he started breaking rules When he went to go see Kirsten Dunn. Yeah, when he started breaking hearts and making farts. He used Bob's name That's how he propelled himself into the other world But I think this gives us an opportunity to talk about the first time he got in trouble when he went to the other world Which was caused by an urge to go to the bathroom. Oh yeah, that's true. So he goes, so he's wearing a suit of lead things that let him stay up in the upper world. Yeah.

He's got, he's trying to hit on Kristen Dunst, but she doesn't remember who he is. And she says at one point, I don't know why you're telling me all this. And he goes, which was the only like real sentence in this movie? Yeah Yeah, that was it was when it was what I was wondering the whole time I don't know why you're telling And they go he runs to the bathroom to like hide oh his His shirt is starting to burn through because he's wearing some stuff from upper world Over the lower world so apparently this burning thing is not as I predicted it would be Just a lie to keep the worlds apart

However, I think that is the only time we see the burning actually happening No, no, because it's shoes burn later. Okay, there's some other stuff that burns, but it seems like it's a very erratic But like just like with the matter going between worlds it has it's whenever the screen doesn't always happen Yeah, but Dan Everybody burns Sometimes It's inaccurate Dan everybody burns Sometimes I was burning was a good was an already I'm song it was an H.E.M song was it the weights he was wearing that was burning Yeah, what's from the end because the weights were from the upper world?

I think he was wearing a shirt from lower world. Why didn't he not wear the shirt then? Maybe the best maybe the best that the weights were put into, because remember that guy from the other world made that vest. Oh right, okay. That's a good point. So it was something he was wearing. Anyway, he runs to the bathroom to cool off the heat

and he has to protect his shirt. I take no bow, bathroom, the bathroom. In the sink, yeah. And a guy walks in and goes, oh, I better pretend I'm using the toilet, even though he just saw me at the sink washing my hands. And he starts peeing and goes, oh, I better pretend I'm using the toilet even though he just saw me at the sink washing my hands. And he starts peeing, but uh-oh, his pee is drawn back to the planet he came from. But it wasn't just like he had to pretend to pee.

Like he had to pee a lot. He almost peed in his own face. He peed a lot. He was just like that video of the chimp that pees in his own mouth. But pee, because of weird gravity, he goes straight up. Electric yellow pee. Then it electric yellow P then it starts Yeah, then it starts dripping back down for some reason. No, no, it starts. Oh, yeah, yeah Then yeah, that spreads along the ceiling. It's great. I've got a P alarm on the ceiling just for this

Downward sneak in to use the bathroom and start peeing all over the ceiling. Oh What a feeling when you've peeing on the ceiling? Oh over the ceiling. Oh, what a feeling. When you pee in, I'm the ceiling. Oh, what a feeling. I can't stop peeing because I'm peeing on the ceiling. Anyway, that's what the song was originally about. So the year in alarm goes off. And the pee, like you said, stood his bright yellows. He cracked open a highlighter and just started drinking it.

He was not very hydrating. Somebody dared him to drink out of a glow stick. In Downworld, Ectocooler is still sold. It's the only thing they have to drink. So he almost gets caught and he runs back down. There's a lot of Misha Goss. Anyway, eventually he does get caught. He re-unites with Kristen Dunst, whose memory comes back. He gets in trouble and he's

on the run from the cops. They go dancing. They go on a date. It's really stupid. The cops chase him out of the club. He goes back to Downworld and he figures that. Meanwhile, he smears some pink shit all over an old lady's face and should be looks young again. Yeah. Well, his magic beauty cream is working great and they really want it, but they don't want it so much that the lit Let him get away with going to upper world and so he goes back to down world and they say to him and they arrest Kristen Dunstford and they they Christian Dunst and him have sex in the floating in the mid-air We don't get to see that we don't see it. We just see them making out no penetrations and then the police come by We mentioned the she has amnesia. We mentioned. Yeah the she had amnesia, but she lost her amnesia. Oh

Feeling I don't think you lost your amnesia on the ceiling. It's like a free Which is a kind of drink I think I don't know Parisia I don't think that you actually do it like Uruguayan barbecue Parisia Yeah, when you lose your amnesia Here soon what's going on? You better not have a seizure because you just lost your amnesia live life Here's some best and then just forget Jim Sturgeon. She was hit on the head. She was hit on the head. So amnesia I think she hit her head Against a piece of rock As if that changed things no, it's like we're bringing at the end of X-Men origins We lose his memory because he gets shot in the head with a bullet against his adamantium skull

She hits her head on a rock loses her memory and then it just comes back later because I guess she's recognized him over time. I don't think she hits her head again. She remembers at the scene where he's on stage making the woman's face well she had a dream though before that where she kind of vaguely remembered what he is. The point is it wasn't cured in the normal way which is to have a coconut fall. Yeah because the gravity would have brought the coconut back to the other world. She would let go of it would have just flown up back into the sky. Someone would have brought the coconut back to the other world. She would let go of it Would have just flown up back into the sky someone would have had to pee against the Push it back down. Yeah, it's such an amazing force It would hit her head hard enough the physics would be a style. It's possible. It's it's I

It's just really possible In theory, but it's never been done until now It's too dangerous. So anyway, he resolves to go back to bottom world because he realizes that he's endangering her, but she's going to go to jail. They drop the charges, but then he's kidnapped and they say he turns out when he gave them his magic beauty cream formula he left out the pink dust made out of be good that makes it work uh... and so they say give us the secret to the secret ingredient or else will kill you i guess and

will throw her back in jail and he's like uh... what am i gonna do oh no but then christian dunce just kinda goes to bob's house and says like i remember make me a suit so I can go visit him. And then Bob figures out how to make the pink goo on his own based off of like, no, he sends him those flowers. Oh, right. And she takes the flowers too. Oh, good point.

He sent Adam sent Eve Eden flowers. That's right. Because you're not allowed to go from downrolled to uprolled, but I guess you can deliver packages from one to the other. That's right. He gives her flowers with the goo in it and she gives the goo to Bob and he figures out how to make the goo

and makes a floating blob with a goldfish in it. And they just are reunited and- I guess the goo stabilizes here's to done because she goes down and she's able to hang out with her. Well, and she announces that she's pregnant with twins. So it's perhaps that she's waited down by his babies inside of her. But that's not true.

She's got two halves, she's gonna give birth and then like rock it back to her own planet. That sounds hilarious. The baby being pushed out is gonna propel her back into space. No, they'll give her a little smear with that pink goo. But anyway, and it literally ends with. She's gonna speesmear it in plenty of pink. No.

It's messy business, given birth. Anyway, so they kiss and he says something about like that pink stuff, it wasn't just a new product. It was a revolution, but that's a story for a different time. And then we see that suddenly downworld has all these rich buildings too, and everyone is fine know fine and everybody

loves each other and kids playing trid basketball and somehow in the trid pool which looks very dangerous because it's basically just water all around. Yeah, he had dive up or down here. What's going on? Yeah, but the movie I do like the fact that the movie cuts off at the end being like basically the movie Expressly says Somehow our twins saved the world the book. We're not gonna tell you about it It's almost like the movie look just stopped him in yeah, yeah, you get the drill. It's better

You know this goes heals everything whatever Clearly it's setting up a sequel Downside up. Yeah down set up where there's two babies that can bounce back and forth between the worlds They could have called world walkers They're called it's downside up to world walkers And turns out like thing two and thing one this ancient prophecy Ancient prophecy there's a dragon and there's a Reformed racist guy who's like I don't believe in you world walkers,

but then at the end of the movie when they save him from a rebels bullet. He's like, you world walkers are okay. Yeah. Damn, damn, damn, damn, I didn't like him, but now I love him. You know, he lives in a new frame. He lives in an anti-gravity shack. So this movie, let's just say this feeling, save some positive, it's a beautiful looking movie. Yeah.

It's gorgeously shot almost too much so because it becomes static, but it's a series of, it's like playing the game missed. Everything looks beautiful, even though it is dramatically inert and boring. Yeah, and I would say, it would definitely be better as a video game. Yeah, for a, we call it BioSho bio shock upside down for a movie that's like

all CGI basically like I've seen. They didn't build. They didn't build all these sets where they're upside down. Wait, those are real people. I thought that was shot in China. I thought that was the magic team China. I think the magic team China. That is the ancient Chinese I mean, I'll show that. I mean, see the group? Dan, say what you're gonna say. No, I just, you know, like, I think that all CGI movies often look really antiseptic and boring at this point, but this movie still looks fairly pretty

and has a certain amount of groundedness for what it is. The lighting feels false, but that actually might fit because if you consider two planets that close to each other, there'd be no sunlight. There'd be no natural light. Well, but here's the thing also is that we brought up the point where we were watching it.

What is happening on the rest of the planets that is not right next to each other? Like there's, it's a whole planet on the other side of it. There's something going on, but this is an allegory. It's not straight. And why do they ever rotate away from each other? They're locked in a gravity trance, because they love each other so much. But this is a, because this is a fairy tale. This is not science fiction, but fantasy.

And it's making a point about people, which is that, hey, let's not be haters. Sure. And that inequality exists in the... Yeah, but because this movie is bad at that you can't help but everything about everything about the logic of it like the fact as how he said normally planets have their own orbits these two are apparently locked together which maybe I would buy but they're locked together so tightly that you

can literally build a tower between the planets that connects up there they're so close that he falls from one ocean to the other ocean and he's totally fine, just a little cold. Yeah. Yeah, now Ellie, and Ellie, you love Romeo and Juliet, the Baselorm and production. Oh, love it.

And this is basically a Romeo and Juliet story. I feel like Baselorm and took a terrible play and made it watchable. Yeah, no, this is, it's like you were saying at the beginning, Stuart, when we watch the movie, the planets are like, like Montagon and there's like Capulon and Montague 6. Like, it's Romeo and Juliet, but the rivalry between the two planets is so undernourished, like it's so poorly set up.

It's just like, hey, rich people up there, pull people down here. What are you gonna do about it? Hey hey we can't be together for some reason you never honestly meet any people who care about these people enough to like like feed a few like the capulets you want to get what's kind of like it's like the same problem you see in like v for vandeta or even scarlet letter which is like everyone lives by these ironbound rules but nobody seems to like them or care about them. So like every character, like when when when Chris been finds out that Adam is from this from Downworld, she I guess when she like because she's a hasamnesia, like she should be disgusting.

Chris been like you say, you know, you know, Chris been, Chris been guns. Oh, I was thinking of Chris been Glover. Like Chris been Glover was in this. No, wasn't and Chris been guns. Oh, I was thinking of Chris, and Glover. Like, Chris, and Glover was in this? No, wasn't. No, no. When, Kristen, and Kirsten, it's hard to say Kirsten, when she finds, like, there should be someone where she's like,

I couldn't be in love with a downworlder. No, no, no, that's impossible. But instead, like, Where stuff is on sideways. I hear their penises work backwards. And then, hamburgers eat people. I have some bad news for you. What?

I don't know what that bad news could be. Hamburger's eating people would be terrible. It's just a funny thing. Well, the question would be why you make hamburgers if they're trying to eat you. You don't make them. They're forged in the laboratories. Hamburgers are not a naturally important thing. Pouring on the laboratory. Yeah, you got to put on your You don't make them. They're forged in the laboratories. Pamburgers are not a naturally worrying on the laboratory.

Yeah, you gotta put on your wellers gauntlets and put some ground beef on an animal. Just a guy who can't make that hamburger. That test tube hamburger. But if they don't act like the world's not coming to that, it's hamburger you're eating people. Yeah, but it would be like a... Like how everybody.

But I was imagining like a hamburger bun that operated like a mouth I think you mean more it would be more like a hamburger blob that absorbs people. Oh, I was imagining talking on a hamburger phone And then it starts eating your face Sure, because that's where you're at your most vulnerable when you're on the phone I know especially when you're revealing a secret I'm really scared of my phone. It was the secret. The hamburger and other phones. That's the best thing. You should have gotten some distance from the phone before you've revealed that secret. You can't get your phone used to the other side of the room. Now the question I have is, if it's a hamburger phone bite of you,

is it a hamburger eating you or a phone eating you? It's both It's not like they took a hamburger and plugged a cord in it now. It's a phone. No, that would be silly But the idea of making a phone that you can eat that makes a lot of sense right now It's like, what do you get hungry while you're on a long call? Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is The rules in this movie are very arbitrary both the physics rules and the rules the society is governed by less the other thing that I wanted to bring up is like again I know it's allegorical but it's a little weird to be like okay well we got rich planet and poor planet and you're kind of

like and there's literally a lot of planet please capital you and down capital D like those of the names of the planet yeah and like what what are the economics of living on like a whole planet that is just like poor shacks? They were going to find out because of climate change. Yeah. And when Elysium goes up in the sky, oh. Don't worry guys. Go see Elysium a couple of weeks ago when this happens.

Yeah, it's, it's, I wish that it was not gravity planets or it was that they had not the scope of it was called gravity planet It was called gravity planets and it's about a basketball team called gravity planets They think is it like the scope of it is so weird because it's like these entire planets are right next to each other But there's like five people that we see basically. And, and every conversation anybody has is about either specifically the plot or the fact that there's these two planets. Yeah, at one point one of the guys says to the main character, one of the other downworld

is like stop, always talking about, you're always talking about Upworld. Why are we always trying to think about Upworld? It's like, well it's the only thing that anybody talks about ever. Yeah, you know, I could have used like a scene where they all go to the bar and just hang out in Downworld and they're like, let's play some pool

and then they play some pool and then they're like, let's play some ping pong and then they play some ping pong. Basically, we need more games and more games. You know, something we could bet on. Yeah. No, but we would be better if there were more scenes of characters just existing in their worlds and less of like, it's weird, the plot weirdly moves. It's like a slow boring movie that also moves too fast.

Like, you're just introduced to a character and then like 10 minutes later they're crying because the police are pulling their glades out of it. And it's like, I'm totally, like you said, how you're like, I'm not invested in these characters yet. Like, what are you doing? And it's like a huge music swell and you're like, I, this isn't worth it. Well, also like, where to believe that these two characters are so in love that they have to find each other the years ago, years later, when all we've seen

the two is like, hop around the forest on each other's shoulders. Basically, like, they meet as kids, then suddenly they're teenagers and they're hopping around. And then that's it. We get two scenes, their relationship, and so it's like, yeah, these are history's greatest lovers. This is Antony and Cleopatra right here. They're gonna bring two planets together. Oh, right here.

This is Scott Summers and Gene Gray. They're just fated to be together. Neither of them are interesting, but their love might be. They have the kind of love that you see and like people who live, like they just have regular jobs, maybe they meet through the internet, maybe they meet at a friend's birthday party. They have a couple dates, they hit it off like eight months later, you know what, this is getting pretty serious.

Maybe we should move in together like a year later, they're engaged and then they get married and that's their life. It's not a tempestuous passionate love. Wouldn't you know it? Like he goes through all this trouble to bang or one time. And of course you get fucking pregnant, dude. That's crazy with twins. It's a real teen mom issue.

Oh boy. Now you, you, you, you first off, the problem was they used to con him. That's the problem. Oh wow. The condom was from the down world. so when it got inside her it was like Just ricocheting Yeah, here's the thing she spits out a Cody Island whitefish the next day I don't even know what I don't know and don't want to know what that phrase means

I don't know and don't want to know what that phrase means. It's gonna work you a wealth of horrible phrases. You just treasured drugs and things I've never heard of. Look, it's a movie. You are a horrible, magical treasure. Everyone knows when you have sex in a movie, you get pregnant. It's called Danny's Law from Caddy Jack. Where the woman gets pregnant and then is forgotten for the rest of the movie pretty much. So Look it's time wrap this thing up times time wrap it up in a gravity bow

This is the part of the movie where we make our final judgments Is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of like how they want you to start us off? It's a bad bad movie. movie you kind of like, how they want you to start us off. It's a bad bad movie. I wished I was just staying out with you guys when I watched it. Hey, guess what you're doing it? Hey, it was worth it. My favorite part of how he watched the movie was,

it was really dramatic and how he was like, I really wanted more of a rom-com. And then suddenly the main character got really goofy and started doing lots of jokes and games. Like hanging on the ceiling. It was like hanging on the ceiling and just okay, I'll admit that was a good scene And being like an absent-minded fuss budget and suddenly it was like the movie heard how he was like Stuck change course everybody. I mean, I'm flattered that they were so attentive to my needs But I still been like it. Sorry. I got a rom com, this is a romcom. There was really more of a crap comp.

But the urine scene was pretty, like, it was so funny because we're watching it and he starts, you hear the piece of the fact and we're like, wait, what wouldn't it? And it starts flowing up the ceiling and we're like, oh no, movie, oh no. It's the best urine going in the wrong place scene, I think, since Wolf.

I think I was most shocked at the fact that like the joke of him peeing on the ceiling Is it enough that they also have to have a specific device that catches the pee on the ceiling? This has happened before a lot of downworlders have been sneaking into our bathroom because it's so much cleaner All for Kirsten dance because she was this total slut. She met like everyone on that mountain peak. Wow. Wow. Sorry. I feel like I was too harsh on that. But guys, he's probably pretty lucky to do the number one and not number two, right? Oh, you better believe it. What do you like ride that thing all the way back to his world? That's the thing. He never... The police were chasing him. All he had to do was take a poop and then ride it back to his planet.

He just like Dr. Strange love. Just like at the end. Exactly like Dr. Strange love. Just let Piggins sit down and giant poop crashing towards the ground waving his cowboy hat. His anti-grave cowboy hat I called that poop stall Dr. Stranger So Dan your final judgments I had eaten some more beans It was a bad movie I can't say anything more. It was a bad movie. I say to Stuart. Did you like it?

Yeah, it was a good great movie dude. No it was not very good. It was a bad dude. It was a good great. There was pictures I liked it. No, yeah it was terrible. So it was a nice, it was an interesting gimmick that it didn't work out. Let's say that.

It was an obvious gimmick. If I'm not going to do this recommendation justice, but if you like this idea at all, you should just go pick up City in the city by China, Me, Avel, which is basically the idea of two cities kind of existing at once, but weirdly bleeding into each other. It's significantly more interesting than this. Now, that's a book, though. That's a book, not a movie. So if you like, I'm definitely in your mind.

Yeah. I've used to in your mind. Yeah. I've used to do it, McCoy. Not fast enough. In your mind. Hey, before we move on to our letters, we are recording this a little early. We've got a few of these in the bank. We had to stock pile episodes because a bunch of us

are going out of town. But by the time. Just stand. And maybe out of this world, I discovered a planet with different gravity And I'm gonna go there and see if I can bang me some upside down. See how they do it up there. I hear they do a crazy stuff. Yeah, not so.

You don't know what direction you're in upside down. So now but hopefully they do a kitty style there. What is that? The opposite of talking stuff. Oh, they just line the sun beam and nothing. Hopefully they do a kitty style there They just line a sun beam and not really Kitty's the opposite of a dog. I didn't know that. Okay, first off. You have to put in the movie sleepwalkers Kitty style is when you do it in a big box of sand Sleepwalkers is in it judge Kitty style is like weird incestuous relationship between a mom cat and a boy cat now you're getting it

But anyway unless something is gone terribly wrong We have t-shirts on sale now. Whoa what? Space t-shirts. No, not space t-shirts earth t-shirts. Yeah, so you don't stop getting out your space bucks Pull out your cred stick Put away your galactic creds. You can use your normal money on this. If you go to a store merchandise, which I believe you can reach directly through the All Things Comedy website, or you can just Google a store merchandise.

Or go to a store merchandise.com. Google a store merchandise. And then we just tell them the Google Flophouse shirts. Anyway, go to a store merchandise.com, EST-O-Y, Merchandise.com. And yeah, they should be up now. The first ever Flophouse T-shirts, they got our beautiful mugs on them, end the name of the podcast,

and they come into one amazing color. You guys have been asking for them, and so we finally caved in. So if you need something to wear to a graduation, the first time you meet your girlfriend's parents, your boyfriend's parents, funeral into space, or weddings and a funeral. If you're going to the Bratziverse, that's the universal the Bratz lives, if you're making some kind of weird shrine to murdering

us, if you're going to be kidnapped by seven pounds, yeah, any of those things. Or hey, look, you just want a good shirt. Yeah, any of those things or hey look, you just want a good shirt. Yeah, I mean to keep the elements off your body The sun's an element right Let's say yes, you want something. Thanks. Yeah, you can pull down to hide your wormy bone Things got weird or there's something to pull down to hide your butt from Dan So he doesn't look at it and make a comment So this is the time of the night where I'm a hunter This is the time of the night where Dan cracks open a giant bag full of letters. What would that what would that be called?

The flop house movie mail bag Halley Has movie mail bag It's a mail bag full of letters It's a male bag full of letters Not movies just letters. You're not gonna find any Yeah, make it louder than Anyway, let me show you how it's done. Howie

Okay, can I get a can I get a high C? Okay, great flop house letters Here's some flop house letters Take off your fatter letters letters for the flop house I'm just a letter looking for the flop house. Where can it be? Where can I find it? Dan McCoy care of the flop house, where can it be? Where can I find it? Dan McCoy, care of the flop house. One, two, three, flop street, any town USA.

Earth Milky Way. Why are you blaming me, Dan? I feel like you've queued this. The first letter is from Chad Lasting with Held. He says it's Chad Lowe. I only started the podcast at the beginning of the day. Chad, the African country. The first letter is from Chad last name with held he says It's Chad low. I only started the podcast at the beginning They had the African country obviously Following they all got together

Following a visit to my brother's place where he introduced me to the podcast I'm already finished with the first 70 episodes. I absolutely love the characters on the podcast Wait characters. I absolutely love the characters in the podcast. Wait, characters? I absolutely love the characters on the podcast. Are you mean the people? He says, sighing Dan is a strong character. No one remembers his birthday. Is that why he's sighing? Or is there more trouble in the relationship with a wife?

We always hear that Dan is married, but we never even hear much about her. Well, that would be weird. Does the pressure make him sigh? Is he satisfied with his life? He's producing a kick-ass podcast, with virtually nothing more than an old rotary form in some copper wire. He's still not satisfied.

This is Vince's killing me. We'll dank it. The recognition he deserves will he overcome the cold that holds him back in episode number 70? I assume he does because the podcast continues and Dan is the only member. For like 60 more episodes. Here in every episode.

Elliot is also an interesting character. Oh, thank you. A veritable computer who wore tennis shoes with his encyclopedic knowledge of film. He has not been making the podcast as much since the wedding, because this means his priorities are shifting. This is that wedding was three years ago. Well, he abandoned his friends for the yoko on over the podcast. He has an amy.

Will he earn more? Will he write the Ziggy screenplay? Will he and Stewart collaborate on an amazing film about dinosaur writing bears fighting a flamethrower's only to see their masterpiece. Hi by the Academy and Oscar time. Oh, by critical success by snubbed. I think he means awarded all of them, which brings us to Stewart. He planned he apparently plays blood bowl.

What team does he play? What other games does he play? He is engaged now. Would you like to play games that mean you'll have a batch party Well, what if they weren't two different guys? They saw in Freddie were the same guy what if The comic book find that your local retailer Does that mean spider-man was bitten by a radioactive board hog or something does that mean he'll have a bachelor party with a tank where he dols a bear with a flamethrower? It didn't happen. What kind of bear? You may know what the American variety is bear-facing extinction, so it would be nice if he could do something

for the environment and not kill him in a day to bear. What kind of flamethrower will you use? They're all endangered when they're around me. One of those single tank ones, the Germans using WW2, or one of the multi-tank American or Russian or Italian flamethrowers. The questions are endless, They certainly seem to be. Yes. I need to get on to episode 71 to find out what happens to my favorite characters and to find out what films they review since he really chatted last name with Held. Well Chad, you got a lot of questions, but they've all been answered by every episode since then.

So I don't think we should answer them. I will say that I used to do a live comedy show talk show. And around the time that I started dating my now wife. We did a sketch where it was as if the show's biggest fan came out and complained that I had a girlfriend now, so it wasn't funny. He referred to my then girlfriend now wife as the Yoko Ono of the show and my girlfriend was really upset. Now she's my wife though, so we patched everything up.

This next letter is titled Race Relations. Uh oh. This is a heady issue for us. Hello, peaches. I just finished watching. And Haley. I, I, I, I just, I don't know how he was going to be here. It's weird.

I just finished watching the second best movie made in 1997 about a volcano volcano. Now I, now I personally I prefer that Dante speak, but we'll get on. Well, this is the one where the guys legs get all melted off. volcano volcano now I now I personally I prefer that Dante speak but we'll go on. This is one where the guys legs get all melted off. It's called leg cano. As I'm sure you remember volcano is a total mess of a movie but never more so than when it's trying to teach the audience lessons about race relations. Don't they have like a black and a white guy say like, hey I guess we're all threatened by this volcano. She's getting to it. You can almost hear the Hollywood execs patting themselves

in the back for being so progressive. Rodney King even gets name-checked in one scene. The best part is, at the end, a small adorable white boys asked to identify as mother in a crowd of people covered in ash. The camera takes its time cutting from one shot of a black person and a white person talking, and then little boy marbles, they all look the same. It's then we realize that no

matter what we look like on the outside we can all come together in time for crisis to be burned alive by volcano. There's something so racist about that too where it's like you know a black person and a white person with ash on their face looks the same. No that's terrible. That's blackface. She asked. Also the worst Batman villain blackface What other movies sandwich feel good social messaging into in Congress Source stories keep up the good work Amy last name with held clearly Crash the David Cronenberg movie comes to mind

People not being in having sex with wounds Yeah Social messages people not being in having sex with wounds There's a lot of movies that would like I mean there's a lot of movies with social messages kind of crammed in I feel like one of the ones that does it a little better is Inside man We're spiky managers to get a fair amount of social commentary into a bank heist movie But what's one where they do the Cl Clive Owens in that, right? I love that guy. And Clive Owens, I wonder what he sounds like when he's in that.

Yeah, I wonder. Allie. Allie, what does Clive Owens sound like? A British person. I don't know. I didn't say that. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, but Stuart, I think you know that.

Allie, allie, allie, allie. Allie, allie. Oh wait, no. I didn't get an impression to Clive Owens. Allie, it's me, Halle. Wait, though. I think we can impress you to climb out, eh? Halle, that's a good impression to climb out. Thank you. So have we answered this question? I don't know.

Well, I feel like there's a lot of movies with like bad environmental lessons thrown into them. Well, yeah, like there's the scene in the Patreon where Donald Logan looks to the guy and he's like, I'm glad you're not a slave anymore or something Oh, that's a good one. What about that? The Julia Moore movie where she's like having the baby and it's a secret. She might not be having the baby You know what I mean okay, no women are I am BB

And then there's the handmaid's tail. No, there's women are all there and there's one. Yeah Well, but that's about a world where the environment has fallen apart. Yeah, so I'm saying But they do a good job in that. Oh, we're talking about where they do a bad. They kind of shoehorn it in. Oh, well this movie It's literally like two worlds collide They're from different worlds and down worlders have oil smeared all over them. Yeah, I can think less of incongruous uses of social messages and more just bad social message movies. I mean, we might as well have just watched in time, a second time today.

Yeah. Because that's the whole, like, man, rich and poor. Yeah, it's like if in total recall, how do we heard baby that was less fun, but better looking. Oh, totally. There's a I guess I maybe in some of the Godzilla movies later on, they started putting in environmental messages. And perhaps, oh, you know what my favorite one is? I guess it's supposed to be anti-racism. I don't know is at the end of Godzilla 2000, where Godzilla is literally destroying the city after saving the world from an alien. And the scientist says, one scientist says another, why does Godzilla save us every time?

And he goes, I don't know, perhaps it's because we all have a little Godzilla inside of us. And Godzilla is meanwhile destroying the city. He's killing thousands. But they're like, well, that Godzilla is a good fella. I guess we're all a little bit Godzilla and that's as the end question mark This is just a quick one This is from Danielle last name with hell she says dear floppers. Just wanted to express my enthusiasm I love for your show my seven-year-old son who has heard

My seven-year-old son who has heard approximately eight minutes of a podcast because language and just not for him is his four-year-old sister yet. Not appropriate. Has become obsessed with your show. He heard about it on Parade magazine. Every time he arrives home

and hears me listening to something in the kitchen while I make dinner, he demands, is this the flop house? I love those guys. Oh, that's sweet. I don't know what you put into those eight minutes, but it has some hooked. I can't wait till he's old enough that we can listen together and then go out and rediscover Casafreeke. He opened the good work, Danielle

last name with that. Oh, that's nice. I bet we're doing a boobs or something and he was like, Hey, your old loveboo. It's real. Not sure if they did deal us. The legends are true. But that's adorable. I'm glad that he likes the flop house. Yep, not for kids, but... Oh, rated R. Is playing at... Your ears. Right now, rated R.

So this last letter... Starring rated R. As rated X. And featuring rated G as rated NC 17. Miss Cassie. That seems awful. I think that might be against the long-range movie. This last letter is rated PG-13.

It's titled Complaints. Maybe against your laws, Upworlder. To be fair, I am the only up world. Yeah, we're all from down world. Well, I got grime on her faces. This letter is titled complaints. It seems there's a lot of them. And tell this March, your awards flop, tacky episodes had regular episode numbers episode 11 episode 32 episode 76. This is about how weather it fits into the regular episode number.

episode 97. They're all awards floppetaculars, but your latest awards floppetacular lacks a number. It was directly preceded by episode 120, the paperboy, and directly followed by 121. Superman has a red cape, but in one panel in this issue from 1975, he has a blue cape, please explain will I have to remet renumber all my saved episodes from now on is the 2013 awards law spectacular episode 120.5 I need answers yes please remember all your episodes does it burn them all on to cassette tapes and then files them into some kind of evidence don't you tell me this was from the library of Congress

because maybe that then I could understand it. You curate these questions. This is from this is from that is an eternal question, Halle. I think the I think the crying with boobs let her proves that Dan does not curate these other things. This is from one OCD. So second complaint also I've been impressed with the smooth and entertaining way you've integrated your new advertising commitments into the show, but I missed those intervals in the early episodes where Dan would insert what appeared to be snippets recorded after the main recording session to promote the flop house in one way or another and ask for support.

I was really hoping to hear Dan break in with a bit, he'd record it after the other peaches had left and say something like, wow, those two are jerks. Well, God knows I'd like to, but. I think the evidence is clear that we're jerks. He doesn't need to say it. I'll be honest, part of the reason I've stopped putting those muppers in is we've gotten too many letters. I kind of almost want to keep the email

a little difficult to find now. Well, I think an embarrassment of riches over here. We get just the right amount of letters, but you write it. You know that he's saying he doesn't want to hear from you guys. Don't listen to him. No, I love it, but you're right. You're saying he doesn't want to hear from you guys. Don't listen to him. No, I love it, but there's such a deluge that we can only get to so many on the air.

That's true. And we can't reply to all of them. So I guess back then, we were trying more to get listening, yeah, listen to feedback. And now you guys have been so great in writing to us and giving us lots of jokes and memories and complaints. And communicating on our Facebook page. And the Facebook page is gotten so big that like, yeah, we don't need to remind you that

of what you're listening to. I will still urge you if you like the show to rate it positively on iTunes. Yeah, we could use more iTunes results. If you feel- But don't write us a letter. If you move to donate to cover our operating costs you can do that through the All Things Comedy website but that's about it. Or buy a shirt. Yeah. But uh... About writing them a letter. You can write us a letter. And please do write us a letter but

what we really suggest writing them listeners a letter. No I'm saying. We'll write you a letter. Dear listeners this is the flop house. Sorry we haven't been in touch. But we did. We're getting a lot of letters. We get a lot of letters and we have our own lives. Back off, okay? We don't live for you. You know what? I can't even finish this letter. Love the flop house.

But we do need more iTunes positive reviews. So please do, if you like it, if you like this podcast. Or you just want to write Elliot's voice as annoying five stars. As long as the star count is high, you can say whatever you want about my annoying voice like a popular comment and the last complaint in this complaints email the letter's still going on and another thing you occasionally refer to masturbating two of them are seen as though it was analogous to singing along two of musical members yet totally is writing the experience.

I believe the correct preposition is over. As some permissible, I might say, hey guys, I've been masturbating over the typical vaccine and how are the duck and it really gets me hot. You're sincerely my last name without masturbating over. Oh, over, exactly like you're getting gunkled. Yeah, that's like you're hovering over. Yeah, when you masturbate to a scene from a movie, you stand up right by the TV, because you want to feel that static electricity

on your ball hairs. I'm gonna stop talking now. No, you'd make Dan uncomfortable. You do it to it as if the scene is a conductor. Yeah, yeah. And you are an instrument. Yeah, it's telling you the rhythm, it's telling you when and where to touch.

Yeah, so I'm glad that we were able to do this. How are you up this? I don't have anything to say. So I think we're using the correct preposition. You're just perpetuating gender stereotypes as men as chronic masturbators and women as bashful. What if there was a movie called Chronic Master and it's about a guy when every masturbates he travels through time. It's Chrono masturbator. I guess that would be it government and the device called the Krona Onatron.

And it's a time machine powered by masturbation. And when you go back in time, do not masturbate on a butterfly, whatever you do. You can change the course of sexual history. There's your movie. What if I just masturbate to a butterfly? That's fine, but not over a butterfly. But not over it.

Do not masturbate over it. But if you're really crazy, what are you saying? What are you saying? Really turned on by that butterfly, and you want to masturbate to it, then over it did not mess right over it but if you're really crazy thing to say what do you say really turned on by that butterfly and you want to mess with it to it then whip it out and go right ahead no do it into a jar and then seal the jar and take it back with you to the future yeah because you don't want to leave it why would you take it you can bury it no don't bury it but what if you buried it leaks and suddenly there's a tree with your DNA and I would lift you you could have you could destroy Although, if you take it, are you going back in time? Are you going to be like,

so Chrono-Owninator would have a giant jar of misplacement. You'd get into the future, and then you'd have a bunch of babies in your jar. No, that's not how it works. Sproom doesn't turn into babies over time. No, I'm pretty sure that's how that works. No, that's not exactly how it works.

I know how. We're going to have to have a talk after this. So anyway anyway if anyone wants to buy the rights to Krona or anator You'd have to wear goggles where the goggles are little timepieces and every time he climaxes they spin backwards And his eyes go cross-eyed like in an 80s movie. Yeah, you can't see it though because there's you clock So don't worry about it so Man man, I mean pulled back into the time rift, masturbate harder. As I thought, it would probably be the case with four hours.

We wasted a bunch of time. We wasted a bunch of time, but uh, quickly, we should do our last segment, which is where we recommend movies that we've seen that we actually liked. Before I recommend a movie, I'm going to recommend you going over to allthingscomedy.com, our podcast comedy network. There's a lot of great podcasts there, a lot of comedians, there's information about upcoming shows, including ours, when we do them occasionally. Yeah, do it allthingscomedy.com. Do you have a movie to go along with that?

And I'd like to recommend a movie which Dan may have already recommended. I don't care, called Dread 3D. Did he recommend that? I think I did, that's fine. I'm gonna recommend a movie which Dan may have already recommended. I don't care called Dread 3D. Did he recommend that? I think I did. I'm gonna recommend it anyway. It stars Carl Urban as the titular be helmeted law enforcer. And he basically goes up and down to join apartment complex blasting dudes

going into slow mo. Who gives a shit? He throws a chick out of the window. Yeah, you just watch it. If you haven't already seen a used to watch it, because it's totally great. I love the ring of the nations are never plot summaries. It's always like when Joe Bob Briggs is introducing a movie. He's like, this has got eight moves. There's wire food.

There's blender food. There's tennis food. So, I'm saying you're the Joe Bob Briggs for a genre. There were psychotronic diction Film. So I am reinforcing a day in recommendation. Dread 3D. Watch it in 2D if you have to. He gives a shit. I'd like to recommend for fans of this podcast, I assume you like good bad movies on occasion. And I watched Miami connection. I've been holding off on it because I thought I might screen it myself.

But I found out that many of my friends who appreciate bad movies have already seen it. Like me? Yeah, so I was like, I'll just watch it because my friend, my other friend was going to screen it and I was like, I'll go hang out with him. And it is great. It is not necessarily like, I don't think it's as high a tier is like the room or troll to but it is definitely in that second tier of very funny bad movies. It the plot is so crazy. Like there's a rock band that is into Taikwondo and

they get into a fight with like a gang. We're drug dealing in just. Yeah well like the gang seems mad because like the brother of one of the cister the sister who's in the band and then there's also like the fact that the like another band is mad that the they took their bands jobs so they also fight with them there and then all of a sudden there's a central Florida ninjas for some reason uh but it is new natural habitat yeah it's a barrel of laughs. And very quickly, not a movie, but a book. My wife got me from a birthday, Harpo Speaks, Harpo's Autobiography from the Marks Brothers,

which is a book. You mean Oprah. Yeah. Oprah's not a book. A book that I read several times when I was a kid and but hadn't read in several years. I'm reading it right now and I'm remembering how much I love it. And the reason is like it's not just a document of the Marks Brothers whom I love but it also talks a lot of like Harpo had an

amazing life. You hear about growing up in New York and Tenement, New York as the children of immigrants. You hear about early Vodville. You learn about like Harpo basically brush shoulders with all of the important literary and society figures of the day because he became part of the Algonquin Roundtable group. There's a story in there I believe about ending up nude in front of George Bernard Shaw. Yeah, that's pretty amazing.

There's tales of the Depression. There's talk about like he did a tour in Russia at a time that no one would use the first American to perform in Russia after the Russian Revolution. Yeah, he basically he just had an amazing life and he remembers a lot of amazing stories that he and his ghost writer tell in a very new school. Yeah, so even if you're not a fan of the Marks Brothers necessarily, it's a great memoir. So I recommend that. This has been the page house, book recommendations. For the page master.

This has been McCulloch, it's the page master featuring Leonard Nimoy. Hallean. And a power, I think that we forgot to warn you about this. This is the wizard. But if you have a little bit of a mind, Hallean warned me. And about I think that we forgot to warn you about this the wizard They're the same guy. He'll be on the Elliott warn me Well, I would say if you Want to venture out into

The broader world and go see a movie in the theaters right now, okay leave your troll cave I'd recently saw the act of killing it's a great movie for the whole family, a lot of laughs, a lot of romance. It's a feel-good all around. No, it's a really intense documentary about the genocide that occurred in 1965 in Indonesia. And it is fucked up. Okay, it's not like most genocides. It is fucked up. Okay, it's not like most genocides. It's fucked up. And it is worth seeing.

So I've broken it. So now I can cruise with your earlier description of active killing where you described as a family failed. That's right. Your description's really random gamut. Listen, it's every, you know, it's what you wanted to be. It's the...

Do you ever want to be? Do you ever want to be? Check your brain at the door. Act to kill like the Indonesian genocide. Yeah. I'd like to recommend, first I'd like to back up and reinforce two recommendations. Dan and Stuart gave in earlier episodes this weekend

and that was since the last recording I saw a Pacific Rim that Stuart recommended. And Castleford. And we're staying recommended. in earlier episodes uh... this weekend and that was since the last recording i saw pacific rim that's due recommended and castle and and and and i saw uh... wake and fear which then recommended and they were both great so we can fright right and fright we can fright so pacific rim is probably not in theaters anymore to do that well but if it is and you haven't seen it i think it's really well in russia so totally go to russia and china i don't think i know it did you guys look up on the Wikipedia page that said that tonight's movie upside down, the first place it was released was Kazakhstan?

Yeah. Just fun fact. I didn't like that. I think that's a Kazakhstan. If you want to watch upside down. I mean, were you still watching here? Well, I could see why I would play really well with the Kazakhstan audience. Yeah, because I love upside-down P jokes.

And Waking Friday, the Australian movie is on DVD now, and it is a harrowing tale. And Pacific Rim is balls-to-the-wall action, monster-spiten robots. But the movie I'd like to recommend myself is a French film called Bed and Board, directed by Francois Truffaut. It's the fourth in his Antoine Denel series of films following the life of his kind of fictionalized alter ego, Antoine Denel. And by this point, he's married to his wife, Christine, and it's about them starting a home, starting a family, and his infidelities that almost wreck their marriage. But the way it's made, it's almost like they cut it together from

a season of the sitcom called like Antoine and Christine. There's a lot of really funny parts and it's very incidental. There's not like a driving plot necessarily, but it holds together really well and there's a lot of little neat moments in it that feel like stuff that was ripped off by kind of indie filmmakers and Wes Anderson types in recent years. But it's the 70s, so they feel fresh and new.

The one thing I would say against it is it treats marital infidelity a little lightly, but hey, it's France, what are you gonna do? You know, church, I love doing it. You know, Kel from Aige and all that stuff. So, what a cheese. But it's thanks Dr. Trains later. You know kale from Oz and all that's So what a cheese Thanks Dr. Trains later, but it's say, uh, but it's a really enjoyable quality film MD

Empty My diagnosis is French It's called bed and Board and I recommend it. So a Shillow to movies, two books, we were recommended everything to my man. Yeah, but not upside down. Don't want that. Don't go see that. So this is the time, my saddest time on the podcast.

We have to say goodbye. I'd like to thank Halley for dropping by and confirming that Stuart is a cool chilled party, dude. That was the whole purpose. What's going on? I thought this was a trial where she were trying to replace me. You wanted to see if she could hold her own with boner jokes and she could do it. So Stewart, watch your back and watch your boner. You missed the dirtiest joke of the night.

Happened off the air and that was Hall he talking about on the upside-down world You had reversed orgasms Where were come shot back up in your body And then she giggled about it for about 10 straight minutes Yeah It's late, okay So anyway You guys try it

Getting the cum So anyway, okay guys try it Didn't come come squirt up your body, I guess I don't know why we're talking about this so gross Okay, so I guess what I'm saying is good night everyone for the flop house. I've been damn a coy. Hey I've been steward Wellington. I remain Elliott, Kaelin and I am Hally Haglund Good night everyone. A filthy for some. Coney Island whitefish with the helizette. It's a used condom. Oh I see. Is that a high enough volume? Be loud, Hally. Hally P. You should probably be a little louder than that.

In your face, add a little more attitude. I'm a little more too. Get a little rude. Sure. Hally P., lose the tube, dude. All right, it's pointed slightly away from you, so you can be a little louder than me. I'll be louder, or try to be. No, it's really loud.