The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #138 - Foodfight!

Episode Date: November 2, 2013

Simulates a real Foodfight, in that it leaves you pained, sticky, and wanting to vomit. Hey, you guys ever think to yourself, "I like Toy Story, but I wish it could be more commercial, ugly, and frenetic?" Welcome to Foodfight! Meanwhile, Dan points out the movie's one "goof," Stuart brings it back to "Just One of the Guys," and Elliott introduces his new "Southern Tin Tin Enthusiast" character. Movies recommended in this episode:GojiraThe Last UnicornWalker

We're through the oogi loves here people. We discuss food fight. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan, how's it going? No, wait a minute man. You, wait, you beat me. I'm introducing myself to you two guys. I'm in this dude. You snost and you lost, okay? All the way from Lefford's Place Brooklyn. This is... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Wellington as Stewart the man Wellington and Elliott Kalen as himself With musical guest back up to Nantanille and now here's your host Dan McCoy Wait, we didn't do that silly. Hello. No, so Dan. Yeah, and McCoy. You got to do a monologue. Hey, it's great to be here We've got the captain and to Neil. Yeah, see this in the news

Have you ever seen setter in our life? They don't have that kind of monologue It's great to be here Captain to Neil I'm here promoting my movie of course food fight Is that the movie okay, so what are we doing this podcast? This is a movie this podcast This is a movie that we. This is a movie that we podcast. This is a movie. And we add movies.

Every week. I mess it up every two weeks. I partly blame you guys. Uh, uh, we're going to your brain and step around and little, little boots on. I think it's time we have accepted me. I think it's time we have a little rap session. Okay, sure. And we're rapping. rap session. Okay, so we're rapping real talk

For a lot of podcast the podcast called the flop house podcast. That's what we do and we're about to put in your earballs A little story about a shitty movie that we just watched okay, and what was the name of that movie? We just got a hell Fliped turned upside down by watching a movie called food fight food fight. Well, maybe you've heard of it food fight is the Where's to be ever made? It's become something of a minor internet sensation. Yeah in that it's been mentioned on the internet before This is a a surprisingly high-budgeted animated film starring over $60 million so what it's a 65 million dollar budget and the sky was dark for all the stars We're in food and by stars actually there's a pretty big cast and also

Yeah, Charlie Sheen you got Hillary Duff you got your even Weakens. Here's the here's the floor sleep man who else is in Christopher Lloyd and aasner Jerry Stiller at aasner evil this a even look where Larry Miller Wayne Brady hot off of the success of Ugi loves comes Christopher Lloyd and First leechman back again. Yeah hot off the success of Delgo comes Chris Katan hot off the success of whatever Hillary Duff does is Hillary Duff Yeah, I mean she does animated shit, right? She should be a young Well, she has a digestive disease and she poops animation

When Stuart said she does animated shit he's actually right it's a serious disorder picking apart everywhere yeah i did watch out it's called animated battle syndrome and it's a real danger a bs is nothing to joke about so anyway this is a movie the huge budget huge cast and some of the worst animation in the history of animation.

This is a, if anyone, if anyone listening remembers the Saturday morning cartoon show in reboot, it was a show called reboot, it was all computer generated because it took a place inside a computer. At the time it was kind of impressive, but now it looks really cheap. It looks like this movie food fight was made 25 years before reboot. Yeah. The inexplicable nature of the animation and the frenetic nature of the animation, I likened it to, if you've ever seen a Ralph Bakshi movie, there's always something crazy going on in the corner of the screen. Now imagine that's the main thing that's happening in the movie. Now imagine that was animated

with the program that came with your PC. And it was done by your seven-year-old nephew with about 10 minutes notice. Well, half of it was done by your seven-year-old nephew. Half of it is done by the guys who do 3D animated porn. Yeah, there's a lot of female characters, there's two female characters in this, who look like... Interproperately sexy. Look, are ridiculously inappropriately sexy, the point that like

the villainess who's evil and grudges the voice of who's supposed to be the sexy, bad villain. Like the different, the two different cheeks of her butt are sculpted. So that when she's wearing like a dress, you see, you see them fully through the dress. Like her butt cheeks moving independently of each other. And then later on and it sounds like impressive animation but it's not and the later on she shows up for no reason in thigh highs and a Catholic school girl dress yeah it's a regular purge so anyway show but this is a movie

that it's it was has an interesting history and that they poured a lot of money into it and they figured they get a lot of money back because it takes place in a supermarket after dark when the products come to life. After dark, all the freaks come out at night. But so they have all these characters in the background who are product placement characters. There's like all these mascots. Charlie, Tuna. Charlie, Tuna. You got your...

You missed a queen. You missed a spiderweer. You missed a spiderweer. Your whine punch guy. You got your same punchy. Yeah. You're sorry. You're missing Spider-Ware. Your Miss Mother, your honking guy. You've got your same as punchy.

Yeah, you're sorry. You've got your, and then you've got the ones that I'm not sure actually belong to real products, like your flatulent foreign legion French cheese. You're a frog with a crown. You're a moose leader. You're a weasel that looks like a scrotum with two turkey legs attached to them.

There's the offensive anti-Semitic giant nose guy. I'm not even sure what his product was. He seemed to have a nose-based business where he smelled things for a living. I mean, he wasn't that anti-Semitic, though. I just think he was a doctor. I mean, what do you want? He basically was like, what I can do for you is this. This is all I can offer you for you have price $10

like But I would teach to my child no, but the hero of the movie played by Charlie Sheen and by played I mean that he seems to have spoken his lines showed up in a bathroom It's almost like they handed him a portable tape recorder and they said just say these whenever so he did them when he was like Tired and about sick a nap or when he was sitting on the toilet or commuting yeah And the dog detective he plays the character that's his most famous dog He plays the character dex dog detective and that is his name dex dog detective who has a human body

But a dog's head and he dresses like Indiana Jones in some parts and like Humphrey Bogart and Casablanca in other parts. Just like your two most famous cinematic Nazi. Adventurers. And anti-Nazi people which will come into play later when they fight the Nazis. So he is the hero adventurer of what's it called food town or some shit. It's a super market. When the lights go out, the supermarket is transformed into a whole town that has like fields and a river.

Something like this before. It's almost like somebody heard the idea of Toy Story, then got hit in the head with like an eye beam. And then it was like a mumbled this while they were in surgery because they didn't give them enough anesthetic to keep them on their. You know what children love? They love the grocery store. and more than that, they love

the cast of characters. It opens with this elderly grocer shutting down the store for the night and as the lights go out, there's this plaintive music as if like, well the fun's over for the day. I guess. This world of magic and whimsy that is a food store. This is pre-seated by the way by not even a real title screen. There's just like an animated thing that says food fight, just like a DVD menu screen. Yeah, now it looks like the production company's name, food fight.

It looks like the food fight production's made this titleless movie. But so they're shutting down the supermarket with a wistful air because like you're saying the circuits tends to coming down. They're rust about sir packing it all up. The food things must come to an end. The food clowns are taking their makeup off.

The ground is salted with the tears of the children who've had the lead. Yeah, the ball team is packing up their lockers for the last grocery store game of the season. It is, it's so, it's already has this wistful feeling for something. No one has any emotional connection to, which is shopping for grocery.

Let's go down and let's come back up. And I'm like Toy Story, which takes place in the real world. Yeah, crates magic out of the things that we see every day. Is that because we've slipped into another dimension? Well, that's the thing, like a lot.

It seems like. The grocery store has transformed into an entirely different place where there's like church, like what was it? There's like a, there's like a, there's like a Russian Orthodox church of field. There's an empire state building or a Chrysler building or something. There's like, there's all, it seems like it's this kind of,

there's probably a Jewish temple because of the, since there's so much, many Jewish characters. Let me just reveal the end that it's I club and it's revealed at the end that Dex Doug tech TV is Jewish which makes no sense as doctech of his knowledge was a hell well they changed it at a asylum from Doug tech to it's but uh he uh he does always wear a hat that's true that now I understand because he's showing his humility before Yahweh. Sorry I should have said Adonai but anyway besides the point Hashem. Let's just call him Hashem that's the proper Jewish name for him but the so it's the I think it's like a

pocket universe that all grocery stores lead to because when a food product icon and they're called Ike's in it and when you have not see characters running around saying kill all the Ike's It's a little too close to the actual slur for Jewish people like it's weird I didn't expect to be watching this animated movie about food mascots coming to life at night and Feel like a palpable feeling of antisemitism Kill all the yods. All those terrible yods. They're called jaws, because people eat them

with their mouths. Yep. Anyway. Put them on the food train. Oh, come on. I'm sorry, man. That was too much. I apologize, Josh.

Can you apologize, though? On behalf of the makers of food, like. So anyway, we haven't even gotten into the plot of this thing. Yeah. Dex Dog Tech TV is the adventurer who keeps food town. Let's just call it safe. You know, that's the name of real grocery store chain. He's in love with a cat name. Oh, not a cat. He's in love with a human woman with cat ears named,

and like, like, make up that looks like whiskers basically. And named Sunshine Goodness, who is the mascot for a raising company. That's weird. And Dext Dog Tech. Has it uncomfortable number of almost up skirts? Constantly. And I think one of you guys are saying she's like

the beginner figure for trying to get a guy into being a furry. Yeah, totally. Oh, she's just like a sexy woman with like cat ears. That's nothing. Yeah, then a few years later you'll like, oh man, this picture of a cat next to a picture of a human vagina. Let's do it for me. Like, what if I become and it'll start with sunshine goodness.

But the weirdest thing is later on they show a picture of the product that she is the Ike for. Yeah. And there's nothing. I'm not comfortable with that term. I can use the term Ike. Okay. Ike on is that okay? Yeah, yeah. Okay. And there's nothing count like about her on the box. No, yeah. It's almost like she adopts that in order to, I guess, be.

They're in with the animals. Can I just say that when she's dying, hold on. So it's a little bit less weird that she's in the, with this anubis jack-le-headed God. It is true that when you die dex-dog-tective ways your heart against a feather. Can I just see if you'll make it into heaven? Take a sidebar here while you're talking about the product that Sunshine is the the Ike 4.

Again. I mean we have to keep saying it. Can I just point out? I looked on IMGB the one piece of trivia for food fight or not not trivia actually onto the goof section the one goof otherwise but i'm not present the one good that i'm just a stand from and a plus plus plus plus plus plus just a plus plus plus

uh... that they list is dex dog tech to the love sunshine is supposedly the face of a raisin brand but she keeps throwing it. She keeps throwing it. It won't even take the movie at face value. Supposedly the face of a raisin brand. She keeps throwing raisins at dex that he eats. And occasionally gives dex a dog raisins.

It is a well known fact that raisins are toxic to dogs. So that is the one goof in food fight.... but anyway so dex dog tech to be in love with sunshine goodness he also is a best friend named the dan daring or something like that i mean that during his a is a convocator but uh... it's like a danger dandier dan or dynamic dan or something is a squirrel that looks like a monkey which is significant because he's a racist black

he's lean brady playing a black character and it's weird because he must be the mascot for like a chocolate product which we never see because he's constantly making chocolate puns when he talks to women he's like I want to put some chocolate frosting on your cake like exactly like they refer to chocolate later when he's chocolate chips at one point Which must hurt like hell the chocolate chips coming out of your tear ducts Just tearing through the mucus membrane pushing them out But and also later and this will make more sense at the time note won't when he meets a blind elderly gay bat The bat keeps sniffing going me chocolate well you they you smell delicious

But anyway So dex detectives and love a sunshine goodness. He wants to propose marriage to her. But because his friend Dan, oh, this is after he saved Fudtown from a character called the fat cat burglar who is clearly a rat who has a bunch of side kicks who are kung fu guinea pigs. And this never comes back to interplay other than establishing Dexto attacking as an adventurer. The kung fu gu getting pigs show up a lot. They show up but like

This is like The game's bond movie where he has an unrelated adventure This is just to show us that Dex is indeed not just named dog detective, but is a real dog So you're saying that the director knows his stuff. Yeah, he's a fucking made his bones No dog pun intended. So yeah, this is just like tin tin. So tin tin. So taunt on.

So real tan tan. The adventures of taunt on. So an old lady saying, it's a tan tan. I love that tan tan and snowy. It tan tan is so fun. There's two French brothers who police us something in the old sea captain. I just love that tan tan. It is mysteries in the Russia, China, the moon,

the little treasure. I always hope he finds enough treasure. So we can retire because it's such a dangerous dangerous career been a bull reporter I'll say so It's hot out today. I must say makes her body feel like just lying around and reading some time More another mid-jewel of another 10 10 please Favorite character One other mint, you look another 10 times please. Is that my most favorite character that exists in the world? He old Southern Toss.

He's so lazy, he doesn't exist. He's so lazy, he doesn't exist. An old lady's Southern, a Southern who loves 10 times. I just love the clean art style of her hey, of her J. He's my favorite Belgian cartoonist, although they all so good. I used to say that there's nothing good came out of Belgian but the mouaffles but I was wrong. I was wrong. There's that clean line art style, not adorable but effective. A reporter. I'm sorry. It's so hot today.

I shouldn't be wearing this taunt on carcass. I thought this smelled bad on the outside. I shouldn't keep you anymore. I know you got a lot of mail to deliver, but I just give me talking about Tentan. We get so few mail callers around these parts and my husband's all cold to me these days and his old age. I want to just set a while. I'll read just some Tentan. See where things go. Tentan, see Williams. Tentan, 10 Tennessee Williams that's what it is it's cat on a hot tin tin roof

oh my god I'm in love with it oh man what are we doing? I don't care it It led to this beautiful moment. Tintin, Tintin, Tintin, Tintin, Tintin, Tintin Williams, Kat, on a hot tin-tint room. Tintin, tin-tint room. Tintin, tin-tint room.

Tintin, tin-tint room. Well, I'm not, I don't have a Southern accent. The character does. It's like when people say enchilada and they don't have a Spanish accent. It's like when any Spanish character, I guess Mexican, I don't know, character, Cuban maybe character on Dexter,

who, he kinda say anything in Spanish, they're like, oh, you're feeling sick. How about I make you my soap-a-deployo? Yeah, they accent the hell out of it. Then anyway, so the, so, what do you mean? I don't know. Oh, yeah, so he's an adventurer.

He's a dog-tective. He's in love with this girl but he is he is but proposed to her but it's friend crashes is by plane because of course is a squirrel is a by plane and distracts them yeah wall is italian moose buddy was setting up a nice dinner for him and in all the bedlam is that when sunshine goodness disappear

just here and then there's the most surprising flash forward to the press title card just as six months later And then there's the most surprising flash forwards. It's a Brad's movie. The title card is just a six months later. So we're dealing with a character whose girlfriend is missing for half a year. Like the woman he loves.

That's amazing. And his response to that, he hasn't been able to find her. So he quits being a dog tech div and becomes a club owner of the, it's called what, Casablanana. Yeah. And from now on, it's a lot of it is a cast of like a shitty parody about mascot food products yeah because there are two things that kids love

it's branded food products and cost of long and movies from before their parents were born oh boy uh... yeah so it's what's going on this so that it's he runs this club the cast of an anna all the food it's everybody's going oh this so he runs this club the Casabana all the food

It's everybody comes to Dex's that's what it is including a sexy I guess human lady sexy human lady who is clearly evil from the first moment She shows up. I don't remember her name voice by Abel Ungoria. So also still evil what evil on Gloria still evil. What? Evil, Angoria, as she's known. But yeah, in the real world, in the non-brained supermarket world, real world, in the real world. Christopher Lloyd lurches into the grocery store. Yeah, in the grocery store that we saw close up earlier, wistfully, because all the dreams had gone to sleep. This guy lurches in with his henchmen and he's replay he's forcibly replacing all of the stores products with something called brand X and he Literally lurches around like a Spastic monster. It is all the drama if in just a normal play or movie you had one of the monsters from the mighty morphing power Rangers just wander on the set.

It's like that level of subtlety. He's got a huge head and crazy, googly eyes. And it's not even like it's herky, jerky animation. It's like they, he's pausing. Yeah, they animated this character to have a paulsy of some sort where he can't control his bodily movements.

And his pupils are pointing in random directions. And it's Christopher Lloyd. So like, you know, you feel bad already. It's Mr. Crazy. It's Mr. Crazy. What? Yeah there's been a lot of sadness in here since like suburban command. I've been feeling kind of bad. So any, that's a different issue. Yeah. But so they're replacing everything the brand X even though the old man doesn't really want to and so it turns out but that's what's taking the slow down a moment to clarify we're going pretty slow this is a movie we took a lot of time out for a cat on a hot tin roof but this is a movie

where the heroes are name brands yeah and the villain is the generic brand so yeah the the villain is the very pro capital this pro big business the villain is the generic brand. So, yeah, the villain is the... It is very pro capital, this pro big business. The villain is the, what do you have to assume is the cost effective budget brand, yeah. Yeah, it's strange for this movie to take a big business stance since it made so little money. Yep, so really this was an independent film.

It was a passion project, one has to assume. Yeah, he was so in love with the idea of a dog having sex with a cat woman. You think that was why this movie was made, some one guy had a fetish and he's like, Yeah, he was so in love with the idea of a dog having sex with a cat woman You think that was why this movie was made some one guy had a fetish and he's like I got to figure out a way I assume he saw an animation online unlike you porn or something of like an animated lady having sex with an animated dog man And he was like there's a kids movie in this and over time they whittled down the sex scenes and turned it just into action scenes Where food is thrown at people if i can figure out a way to put a ton of product placement into this

we can finance the biggest sex fetish animated movie the biggest budget furry porn ever made so anyway uh... so Christopher Lloyd's crazy palsy man is replacing everything this lady has come in and she tries to seduce dex dog techative but instead suddenly ix are being found dead in the streets. And they literally have sheets over them like they're dead. And that when you don't, when a mascot dies, his product disappears I guess. There's some sort of interdimensional mascot magic. So the person's dead, what is the product half? What does that matter to them? Because there's a kind of spiritual link between the two.

So a man has the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that-

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Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- Watch the same way that- and the product is ET. And they have a mental link so that like, if one of them sees John Wayne kissing and the quiet man, the other one kisses, when like a mascot gets drunk as product is lurching around, you know that kind of thing.

Okay. So if the product does well, they'll do well? Yeah, I think so. It doesn't really make sense. Okay. Thanks. So anyway. Thanks for clearing up the metaphysics of this shit. I'm just trying to figure it out.

It's pretty for a movie where the characters just bounce around forever and Dex's dog tech to can fly at very, very few moments seemingly without any explanation. So it's pretty clear that the woman is the head of Brandex. She starts bringing in her very explicitly Nazi-based army to take out the brands that she says are inferior. There are linear, even shaw style shots. By what you mean the camera flying around like crazy and people just sticking their faces into it. I think you mean more run-howard-the-grinch-esque shots.

No, but I mean there are shots of armies massing from above. Not a lot of iron eagles flying. Yeah, literally in this case the iron eagles are robot mosquito monsters which we barely see the one cool thing in the whole movie and they barely enter into it. But she is destroyed by giant gum balloons. Later on. So he has a tango with dextactive for some reason. For some reason they have a tango in which they, in which they, it's like a sexy like banter tango

between a hero and villain that also involves destroying accidentally everything in the room. So like they knock over her fish tank, they knock over the cage of birds, they get a computer wet and it explodes. Like none of it makes any sense. But usually also that scene happens like at a place where say a tango was already happening.

Yeah, no, this is like a dance. Like saying true lies where you're at a fucking dance ball. Yeah, but this is just like, oh, I guess we should tango now because this is what happens. The whole movie feels like- You don't want those dance balls. It's the movie, including the human characters, feel like a lot of these bad movies where someone has heard of a movie.

They've never really seen one. Like this guy had a movie recount They've never really seen one. This guy had a movie recounted to him once. Oh, they tango at that point. I guess all movies have tango scenes. Yeah, it's like, how can we jazz this scene of two characters just talking to each other? And here's, let's just mention here. What's happened to a tango?

So the villain is heavily over-sexed. Like, huge boobs, like, very, like the butt, again, like we said, both cheeks rendered. But they just won't quit them, right guys? Yeah, I mean, yeah. And there are a ton of like, there's a ton of like really inappropriate innuendo that the characters make. There's a lot of what the thing I've complained about in this podcast before where like someone says like, hey, chip happens when a bag of chips falls over.

And it's like, they say a guy goes, hey, better ease up on that. Better ease up on that potato juice before you get chip faced. And it's like they say a guy goes better ease up on that shit happens better ease up on that potato juice before you get chipped faced it's like fuck you like kids movie shouldn't have puns on shit happens or shit face like what the fuck first off it's lazy you're teaching a kid to make lazy crappy jokes yeah he doesn't know that me he shouldn't know it that is a little something for daddy I love what's what's for daddy is the sexy lady and the near and the all the possibility of upskirts that's what we have.

That's for that's for a lonely single parent daddy later on to shamefully masturbate to after the kids have gone back to their mothers and leaving behind not but the copy of food fight he bought at the grocery store for a dollar. Thank you was a Pixar movie. Okay repeat this chapter I guess guess, over and over. And since the kids taking one look at it, knowing they would have no interest in it, never watched it, but said, thanks Dad,

can we go outside and play with mom early? Can we go outside and play with sticks? He sits there in the mid afternoon, as his kids play in the dirt outside, lazily, sadly masturbating, all crying, to this supposed children's animated film. Oh, that's your, so that's your ideal food fight viewer, I guess.

So anyway, your demographic brings out of the first place. That's how a daddy makes lemonade on lemons. Oh, that sounds so much gross. So Dextog Dictives got to get to the bottom of it. It takes forever. They go into the real world briefly where they get, they, they, they, they, they, gotta get to the bottom of it. It takes forever. They go into the real world briefly, where they get, they, they, they, they, they talk to a computer, right?

To a computer. This also involves them. There's like a horrible, ugly old lady who throws meat, who, the chlorosleachment is the voice of, and they fight her briefly. You, they, and they encounter the real world mother and baby, which is the single most horrifying, grotesque thing I think I've ever seen.

Now let's be clear, there are several images in this movie that we simply cannot do a number of times that we and not to sound like other and you know another film podcast that's a still their thing but then other times that we just said what while we're watching it was the highest yet you like all god there's like you the experience of watching this movie really is like let's let's say you took some drugs and like stared at a heronymous boss painting while maybe who he loves was playing in the other room like I don't know how to concentrate on a on a farmland milk

container yeah because they're heavily covered in this it's very difficult to just express the frenetic craziness of the images. Every shot the camera's swirling around The characters have no sense of physics or gravity so they're just going to know. No one saw the way At actual human movies before the anime. Just constant shots of characters just thrusting their faces into the camera Or falling down while like muttering things to themselves that might be jokes me. You can't quite make them out I watch a lot of movies and listen to a lot of music for pleasure that's designed mainly to make you uncomfortable. And of it compares to this movie.

To the moment where there's a certain level of horror that you just can't achieve through actual content. There's another... The scariest thing about it was someone made this not-entending to horrifying disgust us. Like if someone... Like kids will love it. If someone drew that, if someone drew that baby and that mother, which of these horrible grotesque like eraserhead things, it's worse than the Stephen Gamelb drawings for like scary stories. It's like,

I don't even bring that up. If someone created that to like freak out the squares, I'd be like, all right, whatever. But the fact that it's in a kids movie and it's supposed to be fun, the one thing that saves the moment where they're in the real world is that Dex uses the power of a flying soda bottle, which again is never explained. I guess it's supposed to be like falling and he glides on it. He's flying around on it and like...

And then he's like, he's like, Noren Rad on his silver surfboard, just like, just surfing the spaceways, except it's a full bottle of grape soda just in mid-air in a grocery store, and they can't let anyone see them because they might get in trouble, but they just fly right through a guy's legs and the guy just keeps walking like, nothing. When he's swimming around and then at some point somebody use a meat clover or something and wax off the cap of the soda bottle. And so that propels it further, yeah. But it was flying before that.

It doesn't make sense. So anyway, through a flying soda bottle they meet a computer and also an elderly gay bat with bad eyesight, played by Larry Miller in By Far, the best performance in the entire movie. Oh man, he is the one performance that would, I would call, a good performance in the entire movie. He is the one performance that I would call a good performance in the movie. His voice is a delight in this. He brings way more talent to the part of the elderly gay bat

who is a mascot for I have no idea. Larry Miller, who has like a bow tie attached to his chest for some reason. And Larry Miller is a tremendously funny guy who in movies unfortunately got relegated over and over again. I feel like like like the like angry Dean character or something. Yeah, the asshole or the creep.

But man what like what a what a funny guy what a charming guy and and every joke that he has as elderly gay bat in food fight. He knocks out of the first shirt. Yeah like I've been this I've been a fan of Larry Miller for many years since I was a kid. And like to see him in this it was like, oh no, but then it only made me kind of more of a fan of him that he was able to make even this. The moments he's on at least are like mildly not enjoyable but like bearable. You know, like he makes even like those were the only on the lines.

I mean, it's the moment when the torture stopped stabbing you in the in the eyeballs with the hot poker yeah it's that it's that sweet relief of the pain stopping for a couple seconds as as it then returns and it takes a breather and bring some gatorade because it's got the electrolyte he needs to charge a charming character of the elderly gay bad as he as you said Ali if you could watch a home movie by the adventures of an elderly gay bad if you he's wearing like a disc 70s disco version of like uh let Belagosi's Dracula tux he is so like easy going and drool and likeable and he's just like it and he's so weirdly attracted to the Wayne Brady squirrel character in a way that seems at first like he wants

to eat him but then it is clearly sexual like it's clear that he's attracted him romantically. And like Larry Miller just has this way of delivering his lines where it's like, hey, look, I'm a bat, I can't see that well, I'm eligible, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, no, get used to it. I'm here, I'm queer, I'm a bat, get used to it. And you compare it to it, like we've touched on

Charlie Sheen's super phone in performance. And, but it's interesting. It may have been just his answering machine message and they cut it up and re-edited it into lines. But like Wayne Brady puts so much effort into his role of what Danger Dan? Danger Dan, and Chris Katan who plays the part of a penguin who's always cold, like puts a little bit of energy in.

Mumbles the craziest shit. I did not understand anything he said. Yeah, a couple times he says something about friends saving him. Or that's what friends are for. But then it was like he thought he was the main character of the movie and the moral of the movie was friends stick together. But he wasn't. And it wasn't.

There's a lot of scenes where I feel like they didn't realize each person doing their performance, didn't realize they weren't the only person doing a crazy voice in the scene. So it's like crazy mumbling voice and then another one on tape. So you're saying it's like a bad improv show where everyone's gonna be the wacky one in the sketch.

Now, like all of the characters are animated phonetically, all of them are doing crazy voices. And the camera's going ape shit, dude. And by the way, there is the camera things, I better jazz this thing up. Because it's not very crazy. So I better loop around a lot. And there's no unification in the character design.

Every single character looks like they're starting in a different animated move. Yeah, it feels like they bought the characters on Remanger from a series of not a lot of failed animated movies. Walked down a grocery store. They bought all the characters in a dollar towards somewhere. So anyway, let's give it a plot. They just briefly, characters that had dollars towards somewhere.

So anyway, let's give it a lot. Just briefly, they meet at elderly gay bad. They talk to an IBM computer and they learn that Brandex is recalling all of these products. Doesn't make sense. Only the company that makes a product can recall it, but whatever. Brandex is doing it. Brandex is consolidating its control. DexD dog tech to comes back and decides to lead the resistance. They have a parody of the Marcaille horse west was so

know isn't the horse was so long, right? I don't know. Oh, maybe it's the horse was doing do a fight scene and from Castle Langan. We're going to send this. I don't think so. I don't think maybe it was. I can't remember. But the it's really bad, but it's

they're also singing along to the singing to the tune of the Marca, but other words about about being mascots or something. But and it's so which one of the things where the villains are infiltrating in such an easily villainous way, they literally march an army and they're torturing animals. There's a scene where this poor elephant who looks like Max Rebo, who I guess is a mascot for a toothpaste, they literally are gonna torture him with a dentist drill. At first it looks like they're trying to create feuds between the different types of mascots, but then they're just fucking killing mascots left and right. They're just very openly being evil. And Dex comes back and he leads the foods in a fight and i thought this was the climax of the movie i thought this

was the end of the film they have an enormous food fight which is literally just the different the sides taking turns just hurling food at each other forever and then and then exploding and the bad and the characters falling down and then getting up and just throwing food in the same fucking foot no it's also like not stuff that makes sense as you pointed out like you've got the bad and the characters falling down and then getting up and just throwing music into the same fucking footage. Oh, no, it's also like not stuff that makes sense as you pointed out like you've got like people shooting pickles at each other and those pickles exploding gas and you're like there's mustard mustard gas

is right there. Yeah, like when you get hit with a pickle it doesn't explode in a puff of gas. No, no, no. Part of the joke of Pixar movies is like they find things that are appropriate to the thing they're doing We're just movies just like I guess whenever food we throw will just explode if they have made food with cream canisters gas gas Gas catch up is just catch wise out, but it'll kill you but it kills you I'll put it doesn't even let there's no mess at all That's the thing about a food fight, guys.

Is it makes a mess? It should. Well, that's they didn't want to. It just one of the guys taught me anything. It's that food fights are great. It's that food fights are great. It's that food is great and often surprises you. But often, it's something else.

That boob's will appear in the most shocking places, even on the chest of the best friends. It has been a movie. It has been boobless for 90 minutes. In a movie that has teased you with the idea of boobs for an hour and a half, and then suddenly pays that teased off in the best way possible. Possibly the best boobs. Yeah, let's just say it. You know what, I'll just nominate that for best boob reveal scene ever.

So the job is something I live in that stuff. It's that. It's all me if you put socks in your crotch. Sheryl and Fen will go ape shit for it. She goes crazy. She loves it. She's just got to have it. She's just got to have those socks.

I went there's some guy it's like the in the jerk when Steve Martin thinks the guy is shooting the cans instead of shooting at him. Somebody saw just one of the guys and was like, socks. Ladies go crazy for socks of course anyway what we don't have just want to guys taught you anything is that food fights leave a mess it leaves a mess and this movie leaves no message they didn't want to render all the splatters they

just didn't have it there yeah so anyway there's a big food fight that goes on forever they fight the robot and sex with bubble gum it's all it's all stupid takes and there's the running joe couple of a couple of them died there's a very short evil general on the bad side and tea so there's that there are all that there are three bad guys and their whole army the three bad guys are the sexy lady the inappropriately sexy lady then there's this guy who is a sexy lady right and there's this guy who had others for bad news i'm sorry sexy lady then there's this guy who is at least sexy lady right and there's this guy who had others for bad news i'm sorry sexy lady

there's the guy with lizard skin who is a man turned on by pain and does a weird kind of quad rains ed grimly junior boris carl off the james mason type of ryan i'm in state james mason not clad rains james and uh... then there's the really short general who's a coward and his pants fall now Yeah, and then there's a Who's like potato chip? He's like potato is that what he is?

I honestly couldn't understand what they were supposed to be so they fight with food for a long time And then the movie should be over right no dex has another idea. They're gonna put They're gonna cut the power to the main building, which will somehow cause a lightning storm that will explode the building. So they have to put tin foil lightning rods in the shape of different things on the roofs of their buildings. And it's all done this song about how they can do it. Like, they're going to go for the bright side and the right side or something like that. It doesn't make sense. Anyway, long story short, it turned, Mr. Knows, the anti-Semitic guy who's, the anti-Semitic

caricature whose job is just smelling things, finds out also that there's an additive in brand X that makes it addictive and toxic, but also brand X is really plain and boring, so it's the really addictive food that's super plain and doesn't taste good. Again, don't buy generic food, guys. But they find out that that's actually an extract from Sunshine Goodness' blood, I guess? I don't know. They're extracting some juice from her that they're injecting into their food to make it taste to make it addictive. I don't understand. This is the point in the podcast where people are taking their earbuds out saying like,

okay, the three of these guys just hallucinated this movie. They're like, okay, Ugi loves, was a fucking check off play next to this like that was a model of narrative construction. Yeah oogie loves was a separation next to food fight but anyway so they're they're one of the they infiltrate that building there's this weasel named like cheesy weasel who voice by the director of the movie who is no one else could bring that character to like who supposed to be like the Peter Laurie Ugarti character from Casablanca but he's constantly getting like a scrotum crossed with the weasels from who frame yeah it's like if the

weasels from Roger Rabbit were reincarnated as a hairy scrotum with legs and a long neck that could like turn around like a serpent. Yeah, but the animation wasn't good enough to actually animate that hair stretching so they just kind of stretch the skin. Yeah. And often you see his face, the idea is that his neck is so long that his body is far away and his face is close to you, but the way they framed it, you don't see the neck so it just looks like he has an enormous head

on its own body. Anyway, he sneaks in through the sewers. He cuts the power, the building goes nuts, Dex dog techive comes in with a grappling hook and breaks all the back to cloning tanks that they're using with sunshine goodness's secret essence. I don't know. He manages to save her, They escape from the building when

Danger Dan finally pulls off the loop to loop that he fucked up in the beginning of the movie ruining it Dex's proposal then evil like the never you know it turns out it turns out to loop then suddenly the bad guys have Indistroid except giant Christopher Lloyd start come is somehow in food time I thought he was a person in another universe we thought so too turns out he's a robot he's giant in food town but he's a right this what we were like with the hell is going on turns out he's a robot and evil on gory is inside his head turns out evil on gory was the mascot for agent at prune for a genetically modified prune brand yeah she went to Brazil to get plastic surgery to become beautiful and she says at one point they're like common story if you guys like they're like how did you but you're a

you're a mat you're an ike how did you get the the humans to help you it goes when you have a body like this it doesn't matter what size you are size only counts for men and there's this shot of the gay bat looking at the squirrel and it's like going whoa whoa whoa and there's a shot of the gay bat looking at the squirrel and it's like going whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, and there's a shot of the three of us with our fucking faces in our hands Just our Malajaws dropped and not in the tech savory wolf like turned on way in the like I can't understand Like I can't comprehend what I'm seeing. It's like It's like gay in your window There are times in this food and in this movie when it's like you're a child... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... this movie is like i've stumbled into like a sub basement that owned by a serial killer and i see all this crazy shit on the walls and i can't make sense of it

but to him i know it's horrifying to him there's some evologic it's like why are the eyes cut out of all these things like reading the codec seraphine honest or something anyway so the uh... we're okay so he said she starts attacking dex and he's like they're like he won't fight a woman, he's too noble, he's not gonna do it and sunshine goodness who's supposed to be the nicest, sweetest character goes, I'll do it and then beats the shit

that I'm even lung-oriented. Yeah, fun. And beats are so hard that her plastic surgery breaks and she becomes an ugly person again. She's always holy, really? And frankly, I feel, I felt a lot of sympathy for her, even though she's coming as a Nazi and tried to kill everybody It was everyone's like, haha you're ugly and it's like well, that's okay

So the heroes of the movie are making fun of an ugly person like that. Yeah, I wonder why she got places during the first place You know, yeah with all this fucking beer pressure making fun of her So and then it ends with dex dog detective finally proposing to sunshine goodness I have the Jewish wedding of their dream and during the credits, it cuts to their Jewish wedding, where he steps on a milk carton at the end. And it's very... It's milk, because milk's addictive, right? It's the booze of their world.

Yeah, I guess. Well, you don't step on a wine. It's like a alienation, right? Yeah, yeah. So they get drunk on milk. They don't follow these. Step on a glass, but it's not full of wine. Yeah, sure.

Well, you don't step on milk in a Jewish wedding? You don't step on milk in a Jewish wedding now. Most Jewish weddings don't even serve milk. Because you think they want to have some. What weddings do you think they want to go? Because they want to have a meat dish. Those strong bones. It does, that's true.

It's very strong bones. Do you get them a lot of weddings where you just order a glass of milk? Yeah, all the time. One milk, please. Sure. I toast with you. Please, hey, Aunt Baroo, give me one of them milks. Give me the time. One milk please. Sure. I toast to it. Hey, Aunt Baroo, give me one of that milks. Give me a plastic cup with milk in it from a

space cow. Aunt Baroo, Uncle Owen, you told me about how that vaporator's broken. I got to fix it tomorrow before I go to Tashi station. It's the Owen and Baroo catering company. It's all organic vaporator fed meat so that in our R2D2 is the waiter anyway see they're supposed to bartender of course anyway so they have their Jewish wedding where they play even off-brand version of Havana Gila like even that sounds terrible and then they cut to a pop song that is basically the off-brand brand version of I don't believe it by the monkey. Yeah, and wow, and we're just sitting there being like, what did I see? And then during the credits, there are a bunch of gags featuring the characters we've grown

to love that mystify us yet again. I wonder why they, like I'm sure they made Dex Jewish as a joke, but like, I wonder if it was like, you know what, we're going pretty heavy with the Nazi imagery, just to make sure no one knows we're not, no one thinks we're not sees. We'll make Dex Jewish at the end. And at the end, there's a joke about sunshine goodness is like, I want to see what's on your hat finally and takes off his hat and there's another hat underneath. And it's like, I didn't even fucking realize he had a hat on the whole movie. Was it supposed to be a running gag? It's always very strange. It's weird dog head. This weird half man, half bargear hybrid.

Yeah. Look, we've gone so long on this movie because it is so inexplicable that I think that we need to go straight to final judgments. And that is the question. Is it good bad movie? Is it spookily good bad? No, no, no.

Is it good bad movie at bad bad chocolate? It's shock, it's shock, remember now. Oh, it's shock, remember, it's, it's herk, remember, the turkey day. Is it good bad movie at bad bad movie and would you kind of like to Elliot, would you have to say? Oh, man, it doesn't get any bad better than this.

It's one of those movies that's so bad that like, Dan, I'm one point, I was like, I want to share this with people, because it's so bad, because you and I'm like I want to share this with people because it's so bad because you feel like you want proof that you went through a thing like you want it's like I assume when someone comes back from a war and they're like I'm glad you didn't have to go to the library. I feel so much closer to you guys now.

But I wish you could have had experience it so you know what I experienced like it's so bad so poorly written so poorly animated so poorly voice acted, except for Larry Miller, so poorly, like everything about it is poorly made. It's a movie that feels like an animation demo reel for a very shitty software company, and somehow they got all these famous, I mean, they got famous times to do, because they had a huge budget and they didn't spend any of it on the animation. But for all those reasons, that's why I'm saying that it is a good bad. Oh, no Because it is look it is

inexplicable it is a movie that to get to the point where it is good bad for the viewer You have to see like an hour and ten minutes of it until you enter some kind of like delusional state Well, it's not it is difficult to make fun of simply because it is so difficult to follow. Like a really good, good, bad movie has a clear narrative thrust, and this movie is so frenetic for a lot of it that it is not necessarily that, but it is so weird. It's very weird. It's such a strange, off-putting, crazy experience weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's very weird make it food fight with a gay elderly bad in it. I feel like most, I feel like most of the bad movies. I think I'm actually leaning closer toward good bad movies.

Really? I feel like most good bad movies have one or two really strange off the wall things that people kind of latch onto, but there's no grounding in this movie. It's so strange and horrifying to look at Like there's nothing you know what you're sharing me around both you also good bad also Yeah, it's it's not like I do not recommend watching it on your own

It's not no pleasure. It's not good bad the way I thought that like bullet in the head was good bad It was like that was stupid fun like that was bad, but it was like it was not you know There were things that they were just not even good bad the way that the room is good bad where the light from start to finish out and after it no but it is a baffling experience I will say this is a new category that I'll call it's a bad that I'll call in experience you know like it it's hard to rate this on the regular scale of good or bad because it's very bad but yeah it's a singular singular moment in human history. Yeah you're through the looking glass on this one. Oh yeah and on the other hand it's nothing but dogs having sex with

cat women. Before we move on to letters and black squirrels having sex with the elderly gay bats. Before we move on to letters there are two things I want to address with people. Number one, just a reminder that the... Are you firing us, Dave? No, just a reminder that the video contests... The video contests. The video contests. Your fired.

Nice haircut. Though the Flophouse House cat video contests. He's the house cat Arthur's theme. Yeah, it's still on. Go to the... There's some good stuff out there so far. Go to FlophousePodcast. uh... download both the green screen footage of us goofing around and uh... he's the house gas parentheses are there's theme uh... to make your video

to the end of the he's the house cat there's been a lot of there's been some very good entries so the bar is at very high so i say put a lot effort into this. It's good. And what do you win if you win, Dan? You get a flop house t-shirt and the chance to choose a movie for us to flop on a all America is all America is ducking from the gauntlets being thrown. Yeah. Well put. Well put. But for further. That was an Elliot sale, they just said, but for further explanation of the content. You say stuff like that all the time, yeah. Go to floppaspifcast.com to the blog section. To our new website. To our brand new website.

To our brand new, brand new, beautiful website. I want to see something professional done on a computer. Watch food for you. Good morning. Go to your website. courtesy of a new web designer, name and Hampton. Thank you for putting that together. Did a fantastic Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good is the deadline for the Housecutt video content? It is December 1st. OK, December 1st, two days from a birthday. The other announcement is our next episode of our show. We will be taking part in a new thing, which is a podcast pod crawl. This was proposed to us from our friends over at the Read and Weep podcast which is Three three podcasts reading weep ourselves and Well proudly resents

three bad movie podcasts will be covering linked series of movies and those movies in this case will be the Star Wars prequels So read and weep will be doing episode one classic movies. We will be doing episode two in the next episode. And proudly resents will be doing episode three. So if you want to do the prod pod crawl, you can listen to those three consecutive episodes. Check out Read and Weep's premiere of the pod crawl with with Star Wars episode one the Phantom Minotaur so we don't we don't have to watch that and we'll be doing a tag of the clowns and then finally it'll be Number three on our brother's ends revenge of the

Stimpses Revenge of the site So those are the two announcements also here's a third announcement. What there's some kind of weird podcast award or something There's some kind of Las Vegas podcast award something and we're nominated for a podcast award second And we're nominated for a movie podcast So we'd appreciate it if you would go and vote for us in the movie podcast category. And there's some stiff competition. Oh, is that even my day?

I'm not sure. Yeah, the word. So three things to remember. One, make your video for the House Cat Contest. Two, check out Read and a Weep for the Beginning of the Pod Crawl, which will be the part two in. It's a Pod Crawl Flop House sandwich. And three, vote for us at podcast awards dot com in the movie category damn

Now it's time for the flop house movie bail back and I'm just gonna break it down guys We don't have time for a song. Let's keep moving. Yeah, so this first letter Time for the letters first letter here the first letter of the year not really Continue What would we do baby with our letters? Here's a time for love and a time for letters Let's open the mail bag You can have a letter here or put it there. Time for the bag. Time for the bag. Whatever happened to the letters.

The milk man, the paper boy, the eating letters. All right. Let it run the mail bag. Never met him before. Okay. Thank you for mailbag Thank you for being a mailbag travel around the road and back to bag your heart is letters You're out and the letter door to do Mailbag Show me that letter again

Don't waste a minute male back on the song singing All right, so this first letter is Seinfeld Letters first letters from Dr. James a last name of hell hey there James. It's a long time. I mean Dr. James Mr. Dr. James goes back a little while uh... he says he says i just invented fire i've been a listener of your fine podcast for quite a while and i've always enjoyed your commentary nice james it was a real treat to see that commentary in action at the

showing of jaws for the ninety two while back in the summer oh no july that's right, June. It was a fantastic show and I'm instantly entertaining, but there was something missing from the proceedings. Something missing? I feel it would be professionally remiss of me if I didn't bring it up. The treatment of the novelization of JAWS,

the revenge was treated with scant if any attention. And I think you and the organizers all owe it to yourselves to pick up a copy and read this piece of work. Is it on Kindle? I consider myself something of a... The jaws head. Something of a 20th century American lit, i.e. difficult literature, literary professional. The novelization of the JAWS4 in plot points alone rivals anything I've encountered in my studies, graduate or otherwise. It contains digressive plots within digressive plots arranged to a point of confusion that would make pinching blush. There are

a few brief diversions into magical realism. The action and eventual elements are so simultaneously heightened and flattened that they appear more pastiche of action and eventually shades an actual attempt to compose action and venture, and in effect, jaws that revenge may just be the epitome of the post-modern novel. If you allow me, I'd like to present this itemized list of the main reasons to read the novelization of JAWS, the revenge. Number one, once the action moves to the island, a voodoo priest with a grudge against Michael engages in a ceremony which creates a psychic link with a shark. Not a movie. Thereby merging his vengeance-sinking activities with that of the natural world.

So much that each loses a piece of himself. The priest becomes part shark and spirit. What? As the shark becomes part human to break it down to simpler terms, a booty priest possesses the shark. Now that actually makes more sense than the movie in which the shark just happens to know there. It has a grudge. Just has a grudge and then still travels 3,000 miles. It's a shark. Like a video game, angry sharks. We get several digress of chapters at the beginning of the book narrating travels 3,000 miles. It's a short. It's a short. Right, take a video game. Angry Sharks. We get several digressive chapters at the beginning of the book narrating from the Sharks

point of view, the trip from Amity to the Bahamas. Number three, there's a long-involved subplot, so long-involved that's really more of a main plot of the novel, detailing hoagie's dealings with a Colombian cartel that uses the Bahamas the point of departure for some of the drugs to the US. Number four. I'd read that. Attended to the subplot. There's another long diger as a description of speedboats detailing how speedboats are made, how they're driven, and why they're optimal for smuggling drugs to the US and Bahamas. Number five five, attained into the speedboat subplot, there's another subplot about a hitman character

who, similar to the voodoo priest, begins to reflect these sharks' naturalist view of the universe using nationalism in the 19th century illiterate sins. Number six, giving the backstreet of the hitman character, we the readers are treated to a whole chapter on the grueling process of Transforming Coco leaves into cocaine powder

So there's a lot of filler in this book. No, they just put pamphlets in yeah Number seven finally to get back to the main point of who to priest controls the shark. Yeah, now you're talking I hope you'll take this all into consideration and take a chance and read this bizarre book Thanks very much for the podcast and the live show yours, Dr. James A. Last One. That's right, I just want to see what is the food who breeze take the whole thing. He has a rush against Michael for some reason. I know, okay.

But you don't have to take my word for it. Check out Jaws for the revenge at your local library dumpster. Da-da-da-da. I do want to read that now. Yeah, and this second letter is titled, a suggested trademark for Dan McCoy. Mmm-hmm. They're original features.

Although the flat-ass community is failed to give Dan our condolences over his recent knee injury, I'd like to suggest a way in which I'm facing the other way. No longer that reason. A way in which our hobbled host. The knee injury is almost old enough to have self-adab Earth Dan it a birthday and it takes a full year to heal but whatever you guys while attending the most recent bad movie night screening of JAWSETER revenge it was a sad site to witness the flappers beloved question mark host Dan McCoy slink behind the screen and around the stage to join the audience

for the movie all that bitterness and disappointment is life clearly tip the scale. It was too bad. We, LA and I just jumped right off the stage. We just popped up there on the stage, yeah. I mean, it's spinning jump kicks. All right. Actually jumped onto my hands and then did a hand spring of onto the stage, onto your shoulders,

and then you did the old fastball special on me. Oh, the disappointment is like both your knees. Clearly tip the scale. I actually did a slide on my knees towards the lip of the stage. As if to say, knee is, aren't they great? And can long, no longer stand, the house itself, and the dark recesses of his mind, instead manifesting

itself as a painful, crippling injury in his knee, to counter all the disturbed and perverted thoughts for ever circulating his head. So it's like the brood, but it's just your knee getting hurt. What a contrast when compared to Stewart, who sat in front of me during the movie and blinded me with his boozy ethereal glow, which in radiance could only be rivaled by the inexplicable halo around Lorraine Gary while Ellen Brody was vacationing the Bahamas. Could this indicate that both she and Stewart are sharing a menopausible romance

for a band named Kogi. I'll leave you to be the judge. We both want Hogi's in our mouths. Anyway. Whoa. Observe and need to wing. Meanwhile, there was Elliot the troll who is not worth talking about.

Observing Dan, I recall the long ago discussion about what his stick would be. Perhaps his sorrow has built over the years because the podcast format has deprived him of one of his greatest comedic tools props his knees oh you could be a prop com again and whatever what better prop in his current condition than a cane I'll refer you back to the classic my cocaine cogee from jose erven our back to the classical classic news radio episode the cane where Phil Hartman learned the unlimited benefits of a cane including pointing twirling and Branishing it like a sword when after a stroll use Bill McNeil's classic line Beautiful day out there perfect cane weather

Please consider the possibilities Perfect cane weather. Please consider the possibilities. With that said, thank you for the wonderful evening of all the shows I've been seen recently in New York. None of the left-by-so bruised right laughter as the bad movie night, quite literally. After three hours of commentary, PowerPoint presentations, the Michael Cain cameo, and a live reading of L.A.T.'s, jaws, slash, taking a pellum screenplay. Oh, that was fun. My jaw felt sore. Thanks. It was either big laughs or I'm a morose bastard who said, an ability to smile and feel joy.

Rival's only one man alive. I think he's talking about me. No. The shame that my friend, the shame is my friend and fellow flopper, Christopher, not a 10, despite the advance note he had, using studying the bars as an excuse. Meanwhile, I was sitting two rows from David Kalen

I think it's clear sports star extraordinaire. I think it's clear which was the better evening once you consider how much Unwanted sports trivia. I was sitting so close to yeah, you left with its legal case of sports Charlie last name with held Yeah, glad you enjoyed the shayin. That was a real slam dunk. In the words, David Kalen would say, touch down. Uh, go. As David Kalen would say, I'm envious of my brother. As David Kalen would say, read my letter on your podcast

Nothing bring I yesterday I counted something through nothing brings me no few things can bring me greater joy in the fact that There's this sports writer who follows me on Twitter and my brother follows him and I don't follow a monocle about sports And I think he listens to podcast and thank you very much for listening But it's just like I love that my brother follows this guy who will mention me occasionally on Twitter. Can't escape me, Dave. We're running lights. So one last letter. This one's titled, Prophecyne, Emnight Shyamalan's Plagiarisms.

Dear original peaches. That's us in the podcast for knowing. And similarly a movie about predicting disasters Yeah, you guys they couldn't predict knowing you guys collaboratively predicted with uncanny precision the plot of M night Shamlons after Earth and you even predicted he would steal it back from Alex Proyce who stole it from him Excerpted from your conversation now. He has a little playla here where we have has a- Should we play ourselves? I feel like we should play each other. So- Okay. That's- You play Stuart. Okay. I'll play Elliott and Stuart you play Dan. Okay. Okay. So I'm Stuart. Okay. Yeah. You can call it Earth 2 or Earth 2. I thought the Meowvee was

really good. A real twice on there and that ending. That night, Shnyamalan was watching that really mead. You stole my twist, it's true. It's me, I'm a night Shyamalan. No, guys, if a night Shyamalan made the movie, it would be totally clear at the end that the movie that the planet we see is actually Earth. And there'd be a big sign that said, welcome to Earth. Earth original dudes. Population 2.

And now I'm just going to add a little bit of Stuart for a little bit. Cowabunga party. Coolers light dude. Meow. What's the use? Why bother? Boob's please. That's true. I'm basically evil. Courses light dude meow. Yeah, what's the use? Why bother boobs, please? Sure, I'm basically you order to

So anyway the email and please discuss your impending Law suit if possible in a podcast about after earth. I mean that that podcast. I'm sure is forthcoming But I want to I want to do after earth really bad that emails from Doug last name with held thanks Jones I assume thanks for writing in Doug and reminding us that emnight shaman owns that owes us some money some scratch yeah yeah sweet cheddar is that like cheddar cheese with sugar on it that's cheddar that you have on top of a sliced butterfly. Oh man, so American that day, Ann McCoy.

So what's the next part of this fucking shit? Oh wow! Waited to smist the podcast that has been your bread and butter, my friend. Yeah, you're living off this thing. I live off bread and butter, that's how I get this bottom. Because we don't make a lot of money from the podcast. All you get afford is bread and some butter The next segment and the final segment is

Recommendations movies that we enjoyed that we recommend that you watch instead of food fight I don't know. Should we just all recommend food fight? Psych run out of time whatever psychedelic mind-free that was Look it was food fights happening and it freaks us out. You like a little body or a watch food fight? Yeah. If you want to know what it's like if they hired David Cronenberg to make a kids movie and then David Cronenberg said, no, this is too scary for me to work on.

I'm going to jump in. If you are looking to watch an animated movie and you watch food fight, edit, uh, terrifies you and you feel unclean and you want to feel better about yourself, I would go pop in a laser disc of the last unicorn. I mean, that is on DVD. Yeah. No, you should watch it on laser. Yeah. Bridges and Mia Farrow starring in with a soundtrack by America. If you haven't seen the last unicorn, who the fuck are you?

What's wrong with you? If you have, you know, HBO in the early 80s, it's great. It's the story about, I guess, the last unicorn. Have you seen this? I've seen it a lot of times. You don't seem to know anything about it. The last unicorn's one of those movies I've seen so many times. They use the Peter S. Beagle book up the same name.

And that's a book that... I don't know how you guys feel, but it's a book that I've never read. I've never read, and I hear it's great. But I hear it's great, but I'm nervous about reading it, because I love the movie so much that it'll... I'm worried that it will... Like, I hear it movie so much that it all I'm worried that it will Like I hear it so good that it will negatively affect my opinion. I don't know about it Like I I read it. I really liked it. It is maybe the most

1970s book that has ever existed Okay, that may Let's get more the swaps Present you from more than shadow the the Torture by Gene Wolf, where two guys get in a duel with poisonous flowers. It's a very enjoyable look, but it also has like a weird fuzziness of the era. Okay. Sounds pretty cool.

So last unicorn, do you recommend the sequel? Last unicorn too. Hey, we found another unicorn. Hey, we're on, guys. You said that one. It's also me a Pharaoh. Yeah. Yep.

And let's just say Wayne's. Oh, Rachel Dredge. It's Wayne Knight and Rachel Dredge. They made it last year. Yeah. So the last unicorn is Emma Roberts. And it's the second to last unicorn. Oh, wow. Second to last unicorn. No, no. The first last unicorn was the second to last unicorn. Oh, wow.

The first last unicorn was the second to last unicorn. The penultimate unicorn. That was the penultimate unicorn. This is the ultimate unicorn. That's what they were going to call it. But they realized that nobody understood that, man. Yeah. And so they won the super clear title like the last unicorn.

All right. I'll take it. That was my last recommendation, guys. Forever. Dan. I'll recommend a movie that I my last recommendation, guys. Forever. Dan. I'll recommend a movie that I had the pleasure of seeing on the big screen. Of course. Of course.

Well, as big as screen as I could get on a plane. Anyway, it's called The Internship. I saw, I saw, I saw, at the Brooklyn Academy music, was a dawn, John, I saw that. No, I saw Godzilla. Brooklyn Academy music. Starring Matthew Broderick. No. No. was a dawn john i saw that there was no i saw uh... godzilla uh... broken down a new starry bradric no no original japanese film uh... fam so you mean gojira

yeah this is the this is the third annual um... puppetry on film series that that has been doing uh... co-sponsored by the uh... jim henson foundation and this was their for public you know puppets who that Bam has been doing, co-sponsored by the Jim Hansen Foundation. And this was there. Which is for public, you know, puppets who didn't save enough money to retire on. Yeah. This is the, yes.

This is the men in suits night. I watched Godzilla and aliens, which I don't need to recommend because I've. I'm sure everyone is listening. Everyone's seen it. If you haven't, you stop listening right now go see it between the ages of thirteen and twenty i probably saw it about thirty times myself uh... but it played like gang birth busters on a on a big screen but godzilla

uh... this is the first time i've seen the original movie and what i knew that was a somber movie i knew that it was a movie that dealt with uh... sort of japan's Japan's relationship to the nuclear bomb and nuclear power in general. But yeah, it surprised me how much it was placed in kind of the tradition of serious Japanese post-war cinema in general. Like the tone of it is very serious and then there's a giant lizard in it. But from that movie you would never guess that like,

toys of Godzilla would become a common thing or that there'd be like a Harry Potter cartoon. It is a very sad, traumatic movie. If you like that, you should also watch another movie that features men wearing giant suits. It's a movie called Pacific Rim, maybe you've heard of it. Very similar. Very serious dealing. I'll never forget the sadness of the moment

where his giant sword cuts through the wing of a giant monster. And it's crazy that they made those monsters look so realistic with a guy inside of them. Yeah, yeah, no, not at all. But that is a good movie. The original Gogia. And try to see that in not the Americanized version. Yeah, I did not see the one that has Raymond Burr and whatever for me as a kid I must have watched the Raymond Burr Godzilla several dozen times like I watch the gods on movies over and over again as a kid yeah judging by your letters to G fan why are you seeing dozens of times the reason I have a lifetime of subscribing to G fan I've been there

look I remember the days before was a glossy mag and I remember the days when it stopped being a glossy mag, but as an adult seeing the original Japanese cut when they first kind of re-released it to American theaters about 10 years ago or so, I remember what a shock it was to me and what like a revelation to see this serious treatment of this subject. And how much it really made less sense to me that a movie like godzilla versus megalon eventually came about was just like a cartoon character fighting a giant bug monster you know

any who i'll recommend my movie now i recommend a movie that uh... may still be on netflix instant right now so you can literally watch it at this moment at fingertips uh... and it's a movie called Walker starring Ed Harris. You're thinking of Walker Texas right now. I am not. This is a 1987 film Walker directed by Alex Cox and it's basically the movie that ended Alex Cox's big budget filmmaking career like. Now you may know Alex Cox Cox from

Reepleman from Sydney. He and i think just made synod nancy and they said okay we're gonna give you a bigger budget which was like six million dollars or something which at the time in ninety seven was a huge was not an enormous budget but a big enough budget and he said okay i want to make this period film based on the true story of william walker who was kind of an American adventurer who traveled around Latin America, overthrowing governments for the most part, and went to Nicaragua in the 1850s and made himself dictator of Nicaragua for about two years before being overthrown,

and became increasingly unhinged as the movie portrays him. And I'm going to do it explicitly as a statement about America's current actions in Latin America and Nicaragua. And what comes out of it is this movie that is kind of like if Terry Gilliam made a history movie that had a political point to it where it's very over the top and like there are funny moments but it's also very like stylized, messaging and dramatic in a way that I liked a lot. And there's some action scenes that I liked a lot in it. But he uses purposeful and theachronism increasingly

as the movie gets on. Like, for instance, there's a scene I was not prepared for. Because I knew very little about this movie when I first started watching it, where two characters are discussing that Walker is taking over Nick O'Roggle and what they're going to do. And they're in a carriage. It's the 1850s, but they're reading copies of Time and Newsweek that have photographs of Ed Harris as Walker on the

cover, and it's not, there's no close-up of the magazines, it's not called Attention Two, like you have to notice it, and then the inachronisms become increasingly obvious, but not, they're not breaking the skin of the movie because they're so clearly purposeful uh... to the point where kind of history in the present eventually collide to a point uh... in a lot of ways it's a movie that's kind of like a political cartoon in film form i enjoyed a lot i thought it was really entertaining and

interesting and not just something i was not expecting at all so walker with that Harris. Yep, Walker Texas. Sounds good. Ellen Joe Strummer does the score too. So for all you clash fans. Yeah, you know, I know nobody likes that band.

Nobody, yeah. But the only band that matters. So you mean the only band that family matters. The Oracle band. Irkel. The Steve Ir Oracle band. Erkel. The Steve or a Cal band. Yeah, when Steve on or a Cal and Jack's phone, I guess. Joe Stromer had that band together.

So thanks for listening. And I think we're going. No, we're going. Another podcast to a close. Man, I'm so proud of us that food fight didn't break us. Sure. We kept it pretty tight No, we didn't I mean I don't I don't know for sure that it doesn't break I feel like we should be talking about this after the show if a week goes by

Where we like one of us doesn't go mad and start killing people then we'll know that we conquered food fight. Yeah, yeah That's true. So start bleeding from the eyeballs If in seven days, we're not all dead. Yeah, we conquered food fight. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So start bleeding from the eyeballs. If in seven days we're not all dead, then we conquered food fight, yeah. Scan the AP wires, guys. Make sure that we got through okay. So, but until then, I've been to Amacoi. That's your cue.

Okay, still Stewart Wellington. And I will always be Elliot Kale in the mirror. How hard I try. And I will always be Elliott Kaelin no matter how hard I try. And I everyone. See ya. Would wanna be ya. Ha ha. Oh, can you feel the flying baby going over there?

It's kicking. The baby is kicking inside Dan's belly. Oh god. Well, I've just had a few beers. Not pregnant. Yet. Well see how this episode goes. I thought.

I thought. I thought we got our block condoms. The condoms already come up. Block house condoms. Ha ha ha ha. Rust-browing? Snigger. What?

Who's that? Is that a boy who's coming out of your pants? Oh, that's a little ranged penis. Yeah. Snigger. What? Who's that? Is that about your brain?

It's about your pain. Oh, that's a little range penis. Yeah.