The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #148 - Gangster Squad

Episode Date: March 22, 2014

Uh, one question, boss: Doesn't Gangster Squad kind of sound like WE'RE the Gangsters?We return to a big, old-fashioned Hollywood flop with Gangster Squad, the movie that takes a bunch of good actors and a promising director and churns out a film thats absurd and deadly dull by turns. Meanwhile Elliott gives Hoagie Carmichael gift advice, Stuart comes out for cast awareness, and Dan is tired and really doesn't keep up his end of the co-hosting duties. This episode brought to you by the letter "H."Movies recommended in this episode:The Roaring TwentiesThe Friends of Eddie CoyleManhunterGrand Piano

Dexter Squad in color! Hey everyone, welcome to the Fluff House, I'm Dan McCoy. I am Stuart Wellington. And fiddling with my Stuart Wellington robot, I am the mad Doctor Elliott Kaelin. Elliott, I haven't been able to tell you to stop fiddling with your Stuart robot. Bleep loop, that feels good boss. I bought it to fiddle it. You're gonna you're gonna go blind. Maybe he will but not me. My lenses are clouding up. Yeah, exactly. See, it's his problem. All right. So I made you for pleasure, but not

your own. I am a God-fearing Christian robot That means you'll he'll let you put it in the butt. Okay. Oh, yeah Well, discuss disgusting past Dan. What are these people sadly Listening to against their will immediately pausing and then deleting what are they dragging to the recycling bin on their desktop? There's a little podcast called the recycling. What? The recycling yeah, it's gonna turn it to a can or something like that all these computer files if we didn't recycle them They just pile up. Yeah, there's that big patch of computer files out in the ocean That's a man. It wait. Oh

This is a bad this is a bad movie guys. What's it called the flop house? You know, let me say this the misopod guys go to the flop house. It's about bad movies every episode We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it Dan seems to be in some kind of semi-combatos hyperstate and Stuart just kind of drunk a little bit So I'll take the reins me Ellie a gallon. So today Dan what movie did we watch a movie called had detectives should have been called had detectives it's called gangster squad a squad of gangsters I mean there's really no wrong it's a squad that fuck gangsters Dan are you even listening to over say no he's saying that our

characters are gangsters the gangster yeah Yeah, well, I mean it wasn't movie about He's explained the movie then lying between love and hate Detectives and gangster not really know that about using gangster tactics Yeah, when you started a monster be careful because that monster could be used Yeah, when you stare in the gangster the gangster stairs back Yeah, anyway, so let's, when you stare in the gangster, the gangster stares back. Yeah, anyway, so let's talk about what happens in the movie. Okay, so we watch this movie now, Elliot, this is the part of the podcast where Elliot talks about

what the movie was actually about. Thanks for your inducing it. Because you guys don't remember it. Now, everyone may remember this was a big release from while ago, Star Studded, you got a lot of stars. Yeah. Sean Pan. The sky was dark. Josh Brolinlin Ryan Gosling Emma Stone Robert Patrick John Polina Michael paint yeah Michael paint yeah Anthony Mackie

so there's a big this a big stars G. Avani Robissi I thought the and I and I was I was before this movie came out I was kind of hoping you turn out to be really good directed by the guy who made zombie land Which I like I like a good old-fashioned gangster action movie. I like a lot of cast movies You like a good-fashioned squad movie too. I love squad movies monster squad squad Monsters all those movies the squad in the whale. Yeah, squad squad. I didn't like that so much. It was depressing I was kind of like a short story that they made into a movie. Squad squad, which is about a squad. Like a, like incidental now, Creek bridge. Yeah, that's not has nothing to do.

It's short story. They didn't make it into a whole movie. I mean, short film. Okay. That air doesn't have sort of the twilight zone. So the year is 1949. It's Los Angeles. Hollywood land. LA, the city of angles. Every building's got at least four angles. And circles, no thank you.

No thanks, no rounds here. We like corners here in Los Angeles. And or as we call it, corner for you. Now, I feel like that should be in something that's supposed to teach kids about geometry. Like, let's go to Los Angles corner for you. Mayor Pythagoras. All right, well, save it for the Donald and Math Magic lame sequel you're painting. Oh, yeah, it gets really dirty.

They're trying to find the algorithm for ecstasy. So crime is on the rise as gangster Mickey Cohen, Sean Penn with like three pounds of latex slapped on his face for no reason, is trying to drive out the East Coast mob in the form of John Polito's character. And things like- Not Polito, forever being driven out by other mums. He's never the big mob boss. Although for me, my favorite role of his is always the dry cleaning investment salesman, who, from the man who wasn't there.

Right. I love that. Because when he raises his eyebrow, and I have no idea what he was, was that a pass he just made? Could be. He looks like a guy. He had a line, Mr. I'm sorry, know what he was. Was that a pass you just made? Could be. He looks like a guy. You look way out of line, Mr.

I'm sorry, way out of line. He looks like the type of guy I would ask Hogi advice from. Like where to get a really good Hogi. Sure. I thought I was saying you'd ask Hogi Carmichael for advice about what to get John Polito for his birthday. I do that too, yeah.

Probably an ass cut is what Hogi Carmichael would say. Yeah, our piano or a CD of H get Carmichael would say yeah our piano or a CD of hokey Everyone loves them. Yeah, yeah I did well he's dead so maybe sad anyway, so in order to welcome home hokey car Sorry are like. Sorry to say that very different movie. Does it mean anything? That can make it. So luckily there's some tough guys in town such as detect it.

Sergeant John O'Mara Josh Brolin. He's a detective in the LAPD. Yep. And we are introduced to him as he saves a young girl from being forced into prostitution by a bunch of kind of rat-faced jock like the Prattish bad guys. And he busts his way into this into this into this into this he busts his way into when a Mickey Coons fuzz castles in order to save this girl.

He doesn't shut up in a Murphy bed and now who is who is attacked and then shut into a Murphy bed and Josh Brolin instantly he tells us three things. One, he's a tough guy who's not afraid to take on Mickey Cohen, even though the rest of the cops are two. He wears a hat. Much like every other character, there's to be including at one point a dog. And three, he's got a penchant for hurting people's hands. In that he's fighting to guys in an elevator and he he sticks one guy's gun hands out the elevator side. So that when they go to the next floor, his hand is, I assume, just swipe right off.

And possibly the high point of the phone. Oh, not possibly. Yeah, that's the idea that standing with his hand out, it just chops his hand off. Like, it's like a blade. Just shears. Right off. Instead of just knocking his hand or.

The only way the scene could have met is if he raised up his stump and two spurts of light came out. Oh! Anyway, so he that impresses his boss Nick Nalti who's the chief of police who says, look, I know you have this like guerilla warfare training from World War 2. I want you to take on a new and form a new squad not on the books totally underground unofficial that will not, unofficial, that will- And I'm not gonna pay you any more. That will just strike back at Mickey Cohen's money,

making institutions and kill his guys and stuff like that. And- That sounds pretty legal, right? It's totally not. But they are the good guys. And so Josh Brolin goes home to his pregnant wife who says, I don't want you to do this. They might just believe that Mickey Cohen's a super bad guy though at this point.

Yeah, he is the gangster of all gangsters. He even killed other gangsters. Yeah, we saw him kill a gangster and beat a bunch of gangsters. Yeah, he's a gangster when he goes that. I think gangsters. But the movie opens with him killing a guy by chaining his, by drawing and quartering with him with two cars. And with a classic flomp house element with a voiceovering with him with two cars and with a classic

flamp house element with a voiceover. It opens with a voiceover, that's true. He pulls them apart between two cars and then some wild animals. He's coming to you know, and it's like, thanks boss. I wish they had living like talking side kicks like the eels and little mermaid or like scars, hanging the side kicks in the Lion King. Like that would be great. Or there's a newspaper headline later on, like, coyote population starving.

Kite population on the rise, fat coyote scene in town. It's worried they have a taste for human flesh. Look, we got to get to the bottom of this fat coyote mystery. They're spreading their money around thing about it that catch me the road they can have how much this it didn't even care about road roads anymore the road road population is way too big

here's okay here's the movie I wanted it to be gangsters feeding the coyotes bisected on gangster gangsters here's what I want the ability to gangster meat is delicious here's the movie I wish we had watched it's called uh... it's had watched. It's called, it's called, it's called Animal Squad. And it's about a pest control guy who notices,

there's a lot of fat coyotes around, and the roadrunner population is not being kept in check. So the coyotes must be eating something else, finds out they're eating gangsters, decides to take on Mickey Cohen, because he's thrown off the natural order of coyotes going after roadrunners sure in the sequel He's like these Mondooses are getting fan lazy and there's cobras everywhere exactly turns out a gangster's feeding things to Mondies

Anyway, it's called animal squad 700,000 dollars the story can be yours So he puts so overnight his wife who's a tough cookie yourself said decides He puts so overnight his wife who's a tough cookie yourself So decides no, he's got to do it and she helps him put together his squad She says don't go after the young high-achieving Detectives because those the guys Mickey Cohen's gonna put on his payroll because they're bound to rise to the ranks Go after the outcasts and the underdogs. Yeah, so we've had lovable losers Yeah, it has some slopp to take on the snobby gangsters Yeah, in the summer camp, prank off, that is gangster slide.

Craigs just caught a little bit much better. Like, they sneak into Mickey Cohen's house and replace all his clothes with smaller clothes. So he thinks he's growing and then they replace those with bigger clothes. So he thinks he's shrinking. They take apart a car, put it together inside of his office. How am I supposed to get this out of here? Frank's there's squad. That's his own.

They leave an old dead carp in his locker. Yeah, that's going to smell up the joint. They shrimp him. Oh, that's the worst. So up until this point, though, there's been a pretty exciting opening for me. There's been a pretty fast moving movie with a lot of action. And ironically, it starts to bog down when he puts the

gangster squad together. So he hires this although this is the best part of the movie. So one of them is a black policeman played by Anthony Mackey and Anthony Mackey is is introduced to us by Rin, I guess the Los Angeles equivalent of a Harlem, you know, jazz joint. It's all it's a black hangout and There's a drug dealer who's about to do something and then suddenly a knife flies out of nowhere and Pins his hands of the wall and by which I mean a knife went right through his hand and Anthony Mackey steps out. He's a master of the throwing blade, I guess and and he and suddenly he's like Not gonna have any of that in my part of town. Josh Brolin steps out of nowhere

I want to offer you a place on the gangsta squad. I like your moves So it was Josh Brolin just following him waiting from the prove himself. Or was he hanging around that joint waiting for someone to hurt a hand? I like, I want you on the hands, just squad. He just appears whenever justice is served. So he's like the Miss the Phantom Stranger or something?

Yeah, for the past hour, he'd been telling that drug dealer to keep making that motion with his hand. So I just keep or something. Yeah, for the past hour, he'd been telling that drug dealer to keep making that motion with his hand. So I just keep doing it. Eventually, I'll cover any medical damage. But you'll be on my insurance. I just need to find someone who will hurt your hand. So I have to hurt that way. I need someone who's gonna throw a knife at your hand,

hit it with a blow dart, chop it off with an axe, hit it with a, like, one of those bowling pin clubs people used to work out with back now, because it's the past, any of that stuff. Or maybe like a yo-yo that's a buzzsaw. Yep. Anyway, tell us, let's strike at the source of the drugs. Mickey Cohen, they get a wiretapper nerdy guy

played by Giovanni Robici, and they get... So wait, he couldn't play the tough guy ninth-thrower, he had to be the nerdy guy. No, he's the nerdy guy with the mustache and let's care to dam like the most and the and the family and the family he's the only other member of the squad of the family and his who is boys future well they watch a rocket fly into the sky but uh... they also get an old old west clumslinger laid by T1 thousand self-robert patrick

and he has a young Mexican sidekick who nobody likes on the regular force because they're racist. But gangster squad will take him in once he follows them and basically forces himself on them. Now, Josh Bolin wants Ryan Gosling to join. Ryan Gosling plays a part of Jerry Wooters, a name that seems to have come out of a nexus comic book. But from the planet, I alum. But Jerry Wooters is a ladies man who strikes up a relationship with Emma Stone, who is Mickey Cohen's girlfriend.

And a shoe shine boy. And, well, no, he doesn't have a relationship with the shoe shine visors. Friendly shoe shine. I mean, their friends, like, a relationship doesn't necessarily mean sexual. Yeah, and there's a shoe shine boy. he runs past every time he goes to see emiston at slappy maxes a real life nightclub slapsies slapsy maxi sorry a real life

nightclub and he has a friend named jack who keeps telling him don't get involved with this girl Mickey Cohen's gonna kill you but anyway they have the gangster squad decides to go out of the taxi maxi sounds like the type of bar that like Lila Cheney's band would play as an ex-min comic. Yeah, before like what were those characters that from Excalibur that Chris Claremont became obsessed with like gate crashers or something like that? Technet. Yeah, there's some stupid group of characters that show up a lot. Anyway, whatever. X-Men comics, what are you gonna do? So, the gangster squad, which at this point, I decided to name the hat-headed hand-hurt burgers.

Because they all wear hats, they all hurt hands. They all wear head hats. They just, their head hats, not like butt hats or foot hats, which would be bats or fats. Although there is a dog hat in the movie. Yeah, that's a dad dad which stands for dog head hat They don't put it on a dog's butt. That would be crazy. I know That would be I guess only a John Waters movie would do something so take a list

That's companies about severe expectations. It's like one. That's two suburgents I don't expect a dog to wear a hat unless it's like of course now. Where's he gonna buy that hat? And you don't even think to know where on his butt. That's where his poop comes from Yeah, the salesman will expose the way he's playing that's ahead the salesman who's fitting the dog for a hat I think a hat salesman knows though that hat is as you said a contraction for head hat. I hope it's the first thing They teach them is just redundant at that point. No, nobody he would tell the customer that okay the customer We like maybe they're from another land. Yeah, well, they don't work like Holland Well, because in Holland hat means Holland accessory

towards The Sun because it's off your head It's the party of money that points towards the sun with an accessory that goes on that in Holland. So the Holland word for had, the Dutch word for had is hat. It just stands for something different. Okay, doesn't mean anything can do with your head. No, no.

And if it hats in Holland, of course, is Holland accessory towards the sun suckers. It's weird that they use another country, another language's term for their nation. Yeah. The Holland. Look, it's weird, but that's what they do there in Holland. It makes sense.

Yeah. That's, and I mean, when they're weird, what with their windmills? No, Dan is alienating. Wow. Look, you're talking about a country that, a country that, you don't know how to country that's named itself after the Rock Duo Holland Oats. So they're a weird country. Yeah. The Dutch supergroup Holland Oats or alternately the Dutch brand of Oats Holland Oats. So Gengster Squad. The Gengster Squad decides to hold up one of Mickey

Cone's casinos in Burbank but there's some cops at the casino thing and uh... the gaseous squad looks like criminals because they're they've got bandanas on the trying to rob the place there's a shootout there's a shootout and that's an accident on the rollin and uh... mackie are are taken in they're thrown in jail uh... but luckily for them but not so lucky for a certain shoe shine boy,

it's at that point that Mickey Cohen's men killed John Polito and in the crossfire killed a shoe shine boy. Jerry Wooters, our old friend Ryan Gosling sees the whole thing and decides now he'll go into the gangsters' room. Whoa! Who will make my shoe shine? My shoes are so dirty! They're not shining shining and he says to

somebody I assume in his head well he's shining shoes in heaven now even though you're in heaven you shouldn't have to shine shoes anymore yeah did you there's a case system up there case system he's I don't know man cast system cast because everyone wears cast because they're on for broken from all the shoes they've been shining all right anyway He decides fine. He's just cast. That's crazy. He signed the cast. He'll he'll Sir, I mean, sir Wellington sand kids sign it. Don't shine it a message about cast brought to you the American cast council brought to you the American cast council.

The ACC. Don't shine. They spend all day coming up with catch phrases. What is the American cast council, dude? They just raise public awareness of how to treat someone who has a cast. Come up with new ways to itch underneath. Yeah, that's part of it. How can we make this itchier and dirtier? How do we keep this less smelly?

He or it. Herbs in your cast. If you fill your cast. Yes. If you fill your cast with thyme and rosemary, it won't smell so bad. Also, maybe don't break your leg next time. Insert a layer of moss to wake away the sweat. And then once you get your cast off,

you can make a delicious stew out of it. Put maggots in to eat away the dead flesh. There is no dead flesh. I just broke my leg. Oh, get those magg stew out of it. Put maggots in to eat away the dead flesh. There is no dead flesh. I just broke my leg. Oh, get those maggots out of there. Just open the cast and your leg is a skeleton. Maybe they're piranhas. I don't know.

Anyway, so Ryan Gosling decides, OK, I'm a gangster squatting now. Putz on his hat decides to hurt some hands. He goes to the jail and pretends to be Mickey Cohen's guy coming to pick up his targets. But the real real guys show up there's a shootout uh and and basically just like the director the guys of the jail let him do whatever he wants uh yes yeah Ryan Gosling is seems to be in a different movie from everyone else everyone else is playing kind of like quick talk in 40s characters and he is his regular kind of sl burn. He's moving a little slower and Ryan Gosling's moving.

Yeah, around Gosling, we like to take our time with line readings. It's like he like Schneider or that's his name. Who's the other director of it? Fly sure. I knew it was a Jewish name. Fly sure was directing everybody else and then Nicholas Winding Reifen was directing, like Ryan Dawson's like, I'm bringing in my guy and Reifen's like, okay, just stare into the space for a little bit.

Okay, now talk real slow. Anyway, he saves them and they put a bug in Mickey Cohen's house and with that information, they find like a firefly. I got a listening device. Okay. No, it's not. They a DVD box DVD box of firefly in his house And he's so busy watching it because he and asking and demanding they renew it for another season sure that Somebody doing Kickstarter that he's shut down his gambling organization

But they find that he has this big plan. He's put together this telegraph wire system. He's going to control all the gambling and booking and bookie stuff on the West Coast. And as Stuart said, we're watching it, they make it sound like he's a super villain with like a super weapon that they need to stop it by a certain time or else he'll be unstoppable. Yeah, it'll be an unstoppable bookie operation. Basically, Josh Broin says that. Like, at a certain point, like this bookmaking operation is going to be impossible to say. It's amazing how many times you're moving.

You can't shoot enough times to kill it. How many times the movie we predicted the lines they were going to say? There's one part where they're just in a police station and a guy walked in and went, hey boys, and then he said that. And later on, they're toasting their success as the gangster squad. And I was like, yeah, to gangster squad. ryan gaustling says to gangster squad because that's what they stay on a rampage against meeky Cohen's stuff and the newspapers refer to them as the gangster squad they think they're vigilantes of some kind uh... that one point uh... nick knulty tells them

uh... don't just don't just shoot meeky Cohen like if you do that other gangster just gonna come in to fill the void only to destroy the organization so that nobody can have it which is i guess uh... and excellent explanation that makes sense but more so it's an explanation to keep the movie running long-term if they killed me to call the movie to be over uh...

and the not an assassination squad and their games are squads of the sure shoot the fuck out of a bunch of people they kill a lot of people there's a couple different action sequences they're not in assassination squad Dan their gangster squad. Oh, they sure shoot the fuck out of a bunch of people They kill a lot of people. There's a couple different action sequences. They're not bad There's a good car chase where the bad guys are throwing up a tata mashers that you're bringing pretty charitable with the term good It's not that good, but I have to You as he said all the action sequences make a lot of use of digital video Yeah, so they're very blurry, which it's the same, if you guys saw the movie Public Enemies, which was another modern gangster movie,

which I think might have all been shot in digital video. And it was super blurry. And like Captain America, the action scene, it sequences were very clearly DV and were really blurry. Like I don't know why they think digital video is not blurrier than film, you know. I mean, I feel like- And I could be getting this.

Maybe it's all shot on DVDs, just... Maybe somebody smears the shot on the dolyas. That could be it. It could be it. We spent a good amount of the movie talking about how good readers of Lost Arcus. Yeah. Oh boy, if you want to see good action, good puncher mups.

Yeah, anyway, so there's a lot of back and forth with the gangsters. The gangster squad, the secret underground organization that nobody can know about, spends a lot of time hanging out in their spare time together. They have a barbecue at Brolin's house that the chief of police stops by. They're drinking together in bars talking loudly about how they're the gangsters squad. We get those gangsters squad t-shirts. So they were a... Yeah, yeah. Nick Foley.

Nick Foley. Yeah. Nick Foley. Yeah, Nick Folly. Yeah, Nick Folly. Yeah, Nick Folly. Yeah, Nick Folly. Yeah, Nick Folly. Yeah, I'm gangster squad, Nick Folly. Nick Nolte shows up and does the best, Mr. Toad Impression.

Yeah, because Nick Nolte seems to have somehow cloned himself and then eaten that Nick Nolte. So he's got twice the Nick Nolte in him. Sure. He's a big guy. He's preparing for that, what the, the like, the old mentor role for the upcoming battle toads live action. Please don't cheat. Don't tease me with the idea of a live action battle toads movie.

If it's not happening, I don't want to hear it. There's been such an advance in frogman technology since hell comes to frog town. They, but Mickey Cohen learns about what's that these guys are cops. He learns that there's a bug on him and by feeding them. He goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, is it biting me? It's a piece of lint, sir. First off, it's I, Mickey Cohen's one weakness, a bug.

A bug, this one particular bug. He would say it a lot more like big boy caprice than what you guys are doing. Nick, Sean Penn seems to think that he's playing Al Pacino in Dick Tracy, which is nuts. Which is nuts, but also not that far from what this movie is. This movie, it's one of these movies that is a little too over the top to be taken seriously, but it's not over the top enough to be really fun. So like if they were going to go to Sean Penn route and just have everyone be over the top bonkers with makeup on their face, that would be fun. Or if they dialed it back and made it more like LA Confidential, that would be fun.

But instead it's in this weird limbo where you can't take it seriously because Sean Penn has like I has a child's you know idea of makeup on his head and you can't take it but it's not goofy enough because the movie acts like we're supposed to give a shit about these characters, you know. Yeah, it's caught in the limbo between LA confidential and Dick Tracy. Yeah, yeah, it's like an unbaptized baby. It's just caught in limbo, if it dies. Dick confidential, right? Well, I was going to say LA Tracy, but a LA Tracy sounds great to. Sounds like Dan has his magazine title. Dick Confidential. True stories about penises. The detective pulled his pants down.

Here's the badge I need. The magazine is like, can we keep this between you and me? And then shows you a picture of a dick. There's a bunch of scenes in the movie where you show people, they show people holding copies of True Detective Magazine, and just maybe wish I was watching that. So I guess what I'm saying is, movie, if you're gonna be bad, don't put in a reference to a TV show

that comes out a year after the movie does. Yeah. Anyway, so they get bad, Mickey Cohen feeds them false information that there's gonna be a big drug operation in Chinatown. The gangster squad goes there, but it's totally a trap. The gangster squad, a symbol. Nila, nila, nila.

He's gonna assemble, brolin. Mexican guy, old gunslinger, woovers. But they go and it's a trap. And Mickey Cohen's bodyguard, real-life johnny stomonato and make a cones a real-life person to this is one of those movies that's kind of loosely enough based on facts that they use people's real names but then all the heroes are made up characters you know uh... you mean stabby guy didn't exist

which one was stabby guy you know you know the guy you know you and the mackey no that movie had been made twenty years ago to be ludimon phillips yes exactly and uh... ryan gaussling part would have played by child ryan gaussling has kid detective uh... so it's a trap they blow up a truck nobody gets hurt but at the same time they go over to they find out where geovon or if geovon or bc is listening in on miki

coen's talking and he gets strangled and there's a part where Mickey Cohen is talking directly into the microphone going Tell him about how a cop eavesdropped on him and then suddenly the guy shows up and strangles Giovanni Robisi They tend to apply in that shit, dude Did he say like I'm gonna give a monologue wait till I tell say the part about eavesdropping It's gonna be great because it's gonna be on the edge his scene. I want to have that moment where he goes like wait Is that me and then you kill him and the one thing I liked about that scene was there's an open furnace behind the bad guy

And he's still while he's choking Giovanna or Visi he's stepping backwards his coat catches on fire and stepping And be like well, uh, uh, and that's saving Ravisi He's finished his strangling him and then calmly takes off his coat and stomps it out and then leaves. And it's like, this is a tough dude. He is not phased by being on fire. I can't believe that. This is the character the movie should be about. Not afraid of fire gangster guy. I'm imagine that's the title by the way. I don't know if that's gonna sell.

Not afraid of fire gangster guy, rated R. I'm gonna imagine a comedy version of that scene Fireproof where like shot a clip on a banana peel. No shopping like gives like the cue like like Police been listening in on me, but but tough guys like being distracted by like there's a there's like a skunk right next to him Dan move There's a bad move. I'm gonna start to go to spray me. I'm gonna smell all bad. And so I'm thinking it's going, the cop who is listening in on me, and Giovanni will be repeatedly. Is he talking about that cop who bugged me

and was listening on me at the time? Who's going to be strangled in a moment? What are the odds that another cop was he was dropping out of at some point? Too bad for that guy who was strangled. Yeah, it's too bad you were involved in the making of the movie mafia that's uh... jay nolston's mafia starting jay moron christine applegate

that movie has one joke in it i really like a lot which is that christine applegate leaves for a long time and then she comes back and jay morgo's you never even visited our son and christine i was we have a son some how did no she gave her to a child. Also, there's a part where I think it's J. Moore's mistress is throwing vases at him

and she's so mad and she picks up a dog and throws it and it shatters against the wall. There's two good jokes in that. Now, the scene where Lloyd Bridges is being shot and the bullets shake his body so that he does the Macarena is not a good joke. And if you're wondering why remember Jane Austen's Mafia and the bullets shake his body so that he does the macarena is not a good joke. And if you're wondering why remember Jane Austen's Mafia movie, I saw once in the theaters

when it came out almost 20 years ago, this well, I have no idea, that's how my brain works. It works stupidly. Of course I did. Did you lose a bet? No, I loved, but I loved like spoof parody Abrams Zuckerberg. Sure, and you had to take a girl on a date to a movie I mean what are you gonna do just take her to Fizzouli's yeah, come on We're just gonna go to make out hill for the subraces. I don't think so no you got to give her some laughs first

Yeah, I thought I would scare her with laughter and then she got all close to me She was afraid of laughter Weird girl anyway, so the uh, but uh What was I talking about? I don't know. Anyway, I'm lucky that those like meet the Spartans date movie type movies Came out app when I was old enough to recognize shitty movies So because if those had come out when I was 14, I'd be like this is a comedy. I have to see it, you know Yeah, unlike I don't know ski patrol, which I thought was the funniest movie of the entire world. And I was wondering why I only saw it on video and not the movie theater. I mean, it already come out, right? Yeah, I mean, probably, but

I can't imagine Fort Wayne, Indiana, the theater showed fucking ski patrol. I mean, they probably showed that before they showed like, I don't know, uh, kiss of the spider woman. Uh, no, I totally remember my parents going to see Kiss of the spider woman one time. Oh really? Yeah, and I think I'm going, needed more kissing. I was staying at a babysitter that night and I was like, I wonder what this movie is about. End of half woman, half spider.

That's what I'm kissing. It kills you with kisses. It sounded great until. I have a memory of my parents. Me getting a babysitter so my parents can go see crimes and misdemeanors and I only knew the character misdemeanor from the show cups the cartoon so I was like this sounds like a movie I should see come on this character misdemeanor from a show I watch but no it was a Woody Allen tale about morality I also I'm song movies when I was a child remember time my parents about you getting a babysitter while your parents song movie my parents

My parents went to a movie one time and after the movie My mother brought up the idea that they that my parents had to decide which movie they were going to see whether They were going to see the movie with like the beautiful woman for my dad or the movie with the hot guy for my mom Mm-hmm and I'm pretty sure the movie with the girl was die hard for my dad or the movie with the hot guy for my mom. And I'm pretty sure the movie with the girl was diehard for my dad, which was kind of weird. I guess that's like a, you know, his wife. And I think the movie for my mom was a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That was the hunky guy. Yeah, I guess Arnold was the hunky guy for my mom. So is it like Hercules in New York? As I've gotten older, that's kind of rocked.

That's kind of shaken my face and both my mom and my dad. This reminds me of the time my dad organized a bunch of his friends to go see Godfather 3 because he was so excited about it and just came home destroyed. So disappointed. Anyway, gangster squad, right? So the friend, so Emma Stone decides she's going to leave Mickey Cohen. Now she realizes he's a violent gang. He's having a fad. He's breaking.

Ryan Gosling's friend takes her in, but Mickey Cohen tracks them down. Ryan Gosling's friend bravely defends her and he is murdered. And Emma Stone sees the whole thing. She tells Ryan Gosling, you know what? I will testify as a witness that Mickey Cohen killed this guy. They get a warrant. The gangster squad after being fired is back on the job. They go to the park Plaza Hotel where Mickey Cohen has hold up with his men and everyone's like, it's a fortress. You're never going to get in. But Mickey Cohen has like eight guys.

They're killed almost instantly for the gangster squad. There's a shootout. There's some more shooting. It's really anticlimactic. And then Mickey Cohen tries to escape in his car, crashes into a fountain. Basically, it's a fortress, but all the bad guys get out of the fortress so you can shoot him. Yeah, the bad guys do a lot of standing out in the open and firing over the good guys'

heads while the good guys kill them. If you're going to be carrying a time again, you want to just fucking spray that shit all over the place. But spray it like at the level of the thing you're trying to hit. You can't just fire while like make them duck their heads. I'll be like I'm spraying so many bullets. The odds are mathematically that one of them will hit the guy that I'm looking for. I'm trying to do a really sweet ricochet kill. I want to get the bank shot points. So anyway, there's a bunch of shooting and Mickey can't try to escape. He doesn't. Josh Brolin throws is going away and they have a fist fight and at some point he gets the upper hand but we were really paying attention

we're talking about rizal all-star miki-con gets beat up and humiliated in front of this spontaneously assembling crowd of cat cops and gangsters well i guess we're probably drawn to the area after the reports of an enormous gunfight that killed several people uh... robber patrick the old gunfighter, gets shot and dies, unfortunately. And, uh, we did. They don't show them. They don't show them dying. But you assume that he's dead. Really? I mean, you never see him again. Show me the

body. I want to see fucking grave dirt being thrown over a fucking pine box. And then it is mustad. And then lightning hits the gravestone and his fist comes out clutching a gun. That sounds awesome. Okay. Which is the way that League of Externer General in the movie should have ended. But anyway, besides the point, they make a cone goes to jail and everybody is happy because the people who died, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are still together. Josh Brolin. And they adopted their fuck adopted Mickey Cohen's dog. Yeah, but I had on it. And they're immortal now

They live forever and they don't yeah, they never grow old stupid love. Yeah, that's the same characters same characters That's cute. I guess they forgot about each other like fucking see three people Yeah, yeah Whatever Mortals forget about it. Yeah, that was really stupid and Josh Brolin quits the force to spend more time with his wife and his baby and I forget about it. And I'm more or less forget about it. Oh, yeah, that was really stupid. And Josh Brolin quits the force to spend more time with his wife and his baby and tosses his badge into the ocean.

Tosses his baby. Because why would you want to keep your- That's a big baby, dude. That will clog the ocean. That will clog the ocean. There's a super- There's a super- There's a super-

We've got to get this baby out. The current will move. Is that why there's so much water in the ocean? Is the drain got clogged? Oh, the drain got clogged by a baby. It's some fat that why there's so much water in the ocean is the dragon guy's got caught by a baby some fat baby there's a scene was so much water this ocean when the gangsters learn of the gangster squad's identities they shoot up uh Josh Rowland's house and his pregnant wife in in the night gives birth to the baby and he finds her in the bathtub bloody from the delivery of the baby and this baby is huge.

This is why she's so bloody. It is a huge, it's like she gave Ruth to a little man and the baby is a girl because she's wearing a dress later. Rollins like a big ox of a guy. I mean, you know. Oh, you're saying that he works that way. You're saying he came to her in the form of an ox like Zeus and Europa. Yeah.

Oh boy. Anyway, so Gaines wanted. You think your bubble is like, why couldn't he have come in like a form of a golden shower or as a swam? Yeah, one of the easiest. Why do you have to be a fervent? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ugh. A nice relaxing shower that leaves you pregnant pregnant by the gods. And it's gold, it's worth a ton of money. Super classy, like champagne and balloon. Yeah, there's just molten gold raining down on you from the sky. It hurts a lot. Conjilling into dinosaur poop like in like in was it stolen? Yes, yes. Gold turns into dinosaur poop in that movie we watch on time. Yep. So that's gangster squad.

It ends on a happy note and LA is free from crime forever. Yeah, and a good thing that the LA police department was never corrupt again. Never ever. Geez, I feel like this was why. And a lot of plot without much happening. So I mean, the movie looked okay. The production design in the movie was really good. Like it was a good, the costumes

were good, the sets were good, the cars were good. Everyone looked good except for Sean Pan, because he looked like he did his own makeup at a silly putty in front of a mirror, like an old British Thessvian. But the, but there was just like for a movie that should have had a really intricate plot. Like there should have been twists and turns, we should have gotten to know the, like, how Mickey Cohen's Empire operated, or it should have been like a dumb, like, just shoot him up, but at least the scenes are connected to one another in a way. It was neither of those, you know.

It wanted to be two different types of movies. It wanted to be a stupid action movie and some kind of historical drama. And it fails pretty much on both counts. Yeah, I mean, like we should do final judgment, whether this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like. I'm gonna say, like, I've talked less to the normal of this podcast.

Part of that's just. Yeah, you okay? You seem like you took a lot of coding. I'm very tired. I'm exhausted today. But also, there's just just not I don't have a lot of strong feelings about this movie like if this is a real bland movie a lot of ways I like a lot of the action sequences if they actually if the whole movie was amped up like some of those actions the whole movie involved a car driving around throwing grenades out the pack of it

and people's hands been cut off by elevators. Yeah, well those are the good parts. Yeah, but otherwise I think this is a bad bad movie. Now Dan, let's do final judgments then I said I want to ask you. I'm going to say it's a bad bad movie but there's moments where it's close enough to a good bad movie that you might enjoy it. That's what you're looking for. I would say it's a good bad movie. It's not good bad in that, like, let's watch it and have a lot of fun making fun of it. But like, if it was on TV on like a Sunday afternoon, you had nothing to do and you watched it,

you'd be like, all right, that was gangster squad. Like you would- You're too hour-spotor to death now. Yeah, you know, there were better things to watch. Like go watch Raiders the Lost Ark, but the, but if it's- Or listen to a couple of great podcasts, who knows? Yeah, but like if you're on a plane, you don't wanna, you will saw the other arc, but the, but if it's, or listen to a couple of great podcasts, who knows? Yeah, but like if you're on a plane, you don't want to, you will

saw the other movies. You don't have a book with you. You know what? Watch gangster school. Yeah, they're showing an old movie on a plane for some reason nowadays. What are you gonna do? So they do show movies from within the past a couple years. Oh, yeah, classic stuff. Instead of paying on what? Yeah, classics like gangster squad. So Dan, you don't like it in movies when people get hurt in the need, because of any injury. Do you think it's insensitive that you're like, yeah, more hand injuries, please?

Well, there's probably some poor dude who broke Taurus' hand, ACL. And now he's really hurt. And he doesn't like it when people get their hands hurt in movies. Are you a hand-to-crit? No, no, I mean, scholars, you know, scholars of flop-house mythology know that I've hoaxed for hands. And so I just want more people to join me

in my brotherhood of hooking around. Huking around? Happy Huker, they call me. No, I don't. This is Frankenhooker. You know, after you're dead, and you get re-ademated. Yeah, yeah. By bolder lightning, you're in a grave. You stick a gun out. Yeah, yeah, you're real Hollywood chainsaw

Real You want to encourage you? You're a real hook you want a movie starting Dustin Hoffman about hookers You make it sound like it's a command in the title You make it sound like it's a command in the title. Look. You're working the streets, Dustin Hoffman, but I'm going to count on you at work, putting the actor in my 70s. Now you work for me, I'm turning you out. Your name's, your name's, your name's, where's the Tootsie outfit?

Your name's Cherie Starlight, put on the Tootsie dress, get out to Hollywood Boulevard. So you want to encourage our listeners to lose their hands and some got a horrible accident. Yeah. Yeah, you can quote me on that shirt. Like, so if they see a fan and they're fighting that urge to stick their hand in that face, just stick it in, just stand, want you to have a look for a hand.

Feel the rhythm of the night. So let's just move on to letters while we still have time. Sure. This one, this first one's titled, USO Tour. First letter, it's the first letter, not the worst letter. It's the best letter. I think it's a letter. We don't know yet. We haven't read the letters.

Could go either way. So what do you say? Let's start that first letter today. No further ado. This letter's for for you first letter of the night watch out doesn't bite It's the first letter. So let's get it started. It's the first letter. Oh open-hearted first letter first do it and Dan and me this is the first letter. Don't you see it's the first letter of the night for us So let's get going with the first letter tonight all right, so and here it comes that first letter here Dan's gonna read it right into you

You can't stop me from singing about it singing out loud It's the first letter for tonight in a meeting at work and one of the fellow writers looks over to me who listens to the podcast looks over to me and says can you do something about this? Isn't that yours? They haven't listened to the podcast. It's not even on the podcast. I can't do it on the podcast. Number two, this is not my jurisdiction. My songs are like a runaway train unstoppable. Yeah. So, uh... So, uh... Again, again, you wouldn't remember this because there was a lengthy letter in between. Here's a reminder of the subject for the first letter.

The subject was... USO tour. The subject was roses. Oh, USO tour, that's probably about a year. Dear, you were me. Flophouse podcast. While I was looking... While I was looking at the Facebook photos of the Daily Show USO tour, my daughter wanted

by, upon seeing the photo of Elliot in a protective suit being attacked by a dog, she asked, why is that dog attacking her? Oh, come on. I'm correct for her saying that's a guy to which she replied, oh well, my mistake. Oh, okay. My question to you is, was getting attacked by dogs the most macho masculine thing you've ever done? And if not, what would you say was the most macho thing you've ever done?

Keep up the good work and sorry for the nine-year-old girl amasculation. Maybe a lot of my youth being mistaken by strangers for a girl, which made no sense, because I didn't look like a girl. She's your high-cheap bones. Well, I mean, I have a certain feminine sensuality that I think came out when I was a child. So I think in sense that you have a girl twin. Yeah, that could be, and it rubbed off on me.

Yeah. So I might have a double X chromosome floating around in me somehow, I picked up in the womb. Well, in middle school, one of my mother's work colleagues came up to her and suggested that I might have some kind of learning disability Just from the way that I was acting so I feel you're paying Elliot being mistaken for things Yeah, it sucks. Dan of course everyone always knew what he was just a dude to some guy just palin around With terrorists now are they asking me what the most masculine thing I've done is yeah

I think it wasn't that not being a type by dog, but at a different point that trip firing a truck mounted 50 caliber Weapon I think was probably the You stopped an army of bad guys, right? No, I just fired into a big pile of sand And I did unfortunately because they don't do this anymore. I didn't get to fire it from the top of the truck You get to kill any Nazis because they stopped doing that like 1945. What's the deal? Yeah. They don't fire them from the top of the truck anymore,

cause that leaves you too exposed. They have a joystick within the truck that fires it. But that was probably it. Oh, so you got to hide inside a truck and play with the joystick? Yeah, but every time you fire it, the truck shakes. Okay, then it was when I shot with the other types of guns, I shot over there. That was the was the trip where they said okay these guns It was the it was the either the M4 or the scar which are two different types of weapons either they both sound cool

They said there's three settings. There's single shot then there's semi-automatic Which is a three shot burst and there's automatic which is a legal setting in the states You can only have that in war zone So you can set it to whatever you want and all of us were like automatic Of course, that's what we wanted to be set to. The one we can't do at home. And let me tell you, uh, a lot of really hard to hold onto a gun that is in automatic mode. And I was so worried I would lose control and kill everybody. I'm bouncing around killing all the bad guys. But there were no bad guys. It was it was it was all good people. So, um, yeah, I was I was at some of the people you went to I was ready to be like a fire hose in the cartoon

And I would just lose control of it and flying to the air then you put out the fire Through accidental gun bursts Yeah, you shoot the fire. No, we like shoot a fucking avalanche or something and then snow would put out the fire Who knows it was a real deotloved pass that you know that we were in okay, so this next letter Goes thusly hey guys, I'm a big fan and first-time letter writer I love you guys you're all equally my favorite whisper to Ellie You're really my favorite thank you. I recently moved you should be made the boss of a flop house Oh, I'm already Dan's boss in one area. I don't need to be it in two. Dan, keep reading

the letter you're fired. I recently moved and collected many boxes from my parents' act. Inside I found two. Many boxes? Like the boxes that like individual serial boxes. Like the human character. From my parents' act. Inside I found two, yes, two copies of the original more scary stories to tell the dark. I know you all were traumatized with this book as kids as was I and I think the better for it. It will certainly help with my new job is priest in charge of a small parish in Long Island. My new job as scarer and cheaper sure as a local crazy man. Driven insane by finding those books in an attic. finding those books in an attic. I know that at Priest in Long Island. Priest in Long Island?

Well, maybe it won't, but I can stay up late at night under the sheets of the flashlight and scare myself. Anyway, my point, I'm willing to part with one copy of this masterpiece of any of you gents would like it, or perhaps another ill-defined contest would be in order, whatever you like. Or if you would like it, please send me an address. I promise not to stalk you. Keep on floppin'. the Reverend Lauren lasting with hell I read this to say please do not send this book to me because it's gonna frighten you bury it in the yard

Put in the yard and maybe an evil baby will grow out of that Yeah, real evil Timothy Green a scarecrow will come out sure a horrible pumpkin Yeah, if we can make hard children at a hard books ed. If we can make children at a horror books, then maybe we can make a pencil out of children. That's the scary life of Timothy Green. I think what you need to, it's clear what you need to do with that book, which is give it to a child so they can be traumatized by it

and grow up into a cool adult. Yeah, maybe we come on Illustrator themselves. Yeah. You know, buying magazines, cutting the eyes out of all the faces, sure, pasting them up, and I don't know, you might call it a dungeon, might call it who knows, a basement. Maybe a dungeon full of evidence, let's see. Sure, who knows.

This next letter is titled, Allie Larder is Obsessed. Dear floppers, after hearing you discuss obsessed, that was a curious time ago. Yeah, I was curious what Allie Larder's underwear and the car scene actually looked like. We discussed, she had some mismatched lingerie. I honestly don't even remember. Maybe I think she was wearing like water wings

and like a two-two and maybe like an old fashion strong man's leopard skin, Lea Tard. Just everyone out there, Google Allie Lager, Longeray, and do it at work. Okay. But she headed to Google. When I clicked on one of the pictures, I was surprised to find out it was from an article on a style website that gave an in-depth backstory to the ham outfit. Here are some of the highlights. This is from the article. In one of the movies, Hotter scenes. Oh, bitchy title. Larders Lisa Sheridan surprises the object for a desire. Played by Idris Alba with the old nothing but silk and

lace under the coat trick. Note, I love how they describe this as an old trick. I love the popcorn trick mentioned in an earlier podcast. It's probably what they were thinking when they said that. Yeah. Lieberman says, Larder came up with the idea of Joe Lieberman. This is the 4% of it. They came up with the idea. Yeah. Lieberman says Lieberman says, Larder came up with the idea for the vintage inspired ensemble herself. The long story was 100% Allie's idea. Lieberman said, she wanted to avoid anything stripper inspired because she felt strongly that her character would pick something high-fashion and sophisticated.

I really loved that Allie Larder was worried about whether her psycho-stalker character might be seen as too slutty. Lieberman used two pieces from two different sets and died them to match. I also loved that the floppers finized from lingerie. We're 100% accurate in noticing that the underwear and bra We're not a match set despite a costume designer's best attempt to fool them I don't want to get into the details of why but we have and we have experienced looking at ladies in lingerie The final look classy sexy and surprisingly to mirror a nice change no doubt for an actress who first made headlines

We're writing nothing but a whipped cream bikini in 1999's varsity blues. She made headlines? Was that on the cover of the time? Did it, did it, did it, did it, did it, did it, did it, did it. And we got to put out an extra edition. Actress wears, extra edition, extra, extra, you read all about it. Actress wears whipped cream on boobs. Here, give me that paper, can you.

Modern Lathers boobs. Holy Jesus, just like he says, Shushan boy, take a look at this oh no i'm shot to death awoo go awoo go buddy you're gonna get in the cab or not hold your horses hold your horses where's the fire buddy check out this paper then uh FDR gets on the radio my fellow Americans we've all seen the headlines alley largar as whipped cream on her boobs i have declared a state of emergency. All men are to turn in their erections right now. We are assembling a crack team to lick the whipped

cream off. She says they did it you guys. The psychotic stalker looked classy, sexy, and demure, and Idris Elba did not react like he smelled something bad at all. All the best and Marie last name withheld. So that was a pretty exciting piece of truth. You guys were reminding us of a thing we saw. Yeah, it was an old blast from the flop past on this podcast. And now for the last letter I assume. Yeah, and he weren't fooled by that lingerie. A lady's man like Andrew Selva,

that guy's not gonna be fooled. No, come on did he'd be like No, thank you. I'll just play my tiny accordion That's why he went back to Beyonce, you know Like he makes no no makes no sense why you would ever consider leaving Beyonce for Ali Larger It don't even if you're gonna have like if you're gonna if you're gonna have him plausibly Tempted away from his wife don't cast one of the most beautiful women in the world like come on He's too intimidated by her. That's he's afraid to approach his wife because he's afraid of rejection

So my husband's never even talked to me because they're too intimidated my beauty and my success Keeping with the theme our final letter is titled good Good Bad Boobs, Bad Bad Boobs, or Boobs you kind of like. Okay, this episode took a turn. It's real mind-field. It's from Trisha last name withheld. Oh, so it's cool because it's a girl, right? Hey, O.P. Could be a man named Trisha. What's flopping? I guess you're right. I think it's a girl though. I was hoping the subject line we get the attention of the number one pervazoid who rest assured Dan is my favorite flopper simply because he has the same last name as my boyfriend Chris last name with hell. Anyway, I just had two questions for you all.

How can I put the clues together? So first off, she said she's that Dan's her favorite flapper. And she has a boyfriend, so her butt is on limits. And Red won the comedy, but at least come on. I was wondering if any of you had seen Nailgun Massacre. It's a bad, bad movie that both of my parents are actually in. And growing up, I thought I was the only person that had ever seen it. And other classics they produced such as Reanimator Academy and Irving Peaks.

Until years ago, when I was in college, I saw a Nailgun Massacre on video store shelves, and then the Alamo Drafthouse featured it as one of their terror Tuesday films. So just sing if you do it, if you don't, seriously don't bother. I was aware that there was a movie with that title. I don't believe I've seen it. It's true. I haven't seen it. I'm not familiar with it. But congratulations on having nail gun massacre parents and stumping us. But number two, boobs. As a representative. Yeah, that's usually how many there are. As a representative of the petite ladies

with little boobs rotary club. Seems like a weird club. I was wondering if you guys really are grow staff by skinny chicks with less to offer in the bosoms department. You praise HOTS, the great bikini off-road adventure, and the like while the shoeing such ladies is a alley-later for their slight frames and less than blossoming bosoms so come on just smaller

boobs really are you are you being made up i think yeah it's called the producing show well i don't know anything about that do smaller boobs really get zero warming boners love the flopp house regardless of your stance on bosom buzz keep it up dudes official last nameist name with no look we all we are we are all in the church all men have their types but that doesn't mean we're blind to other forms of female beauty right store wait what it just a short white be blind

non-giant boop female beauty uh... i have always been a giant boob is is a big exaggerating okay i have always been a giant boob is a big exaggeration. Okay. I have always been proponent that what is attractive is a a proportional body whatever that proportional body is a female Gremlin body. Dan is up for it. Dan is totally into it if the ears are Gremlin proportioned to the rest of the body. No I am quite fond of the smaller breasts as well as the larger breasts.

This is really so comfortable. I mean, we were asked directly. We were, but you chose the letter. I would stress me, we get a lot of boring letters. Look, let's just say when it comes to the floppers, we're all gentlemen and it's the full package, both physical, mental, and spiritual that attracts us to a woman. Except in Dan's case, it's often a wife's butt and in Stuart's case it's boobs and beer if she brings beer in a pizza and holds the next

we all have very successful long-term relationships let's let's point this out we're not we're not monsters no we're not monsters let uh Stuart who's aware of it yep I was I was bitten by a magical gypsy who gave me like and Like I said like hand for me weird. Yeah, I did We were so distracted by it that it was a gypsy that bit you So the gypsy put a curse on his magical bite. He was a dude gypsy Yeah, so we were wrestling around. I thought we were just playing. And he took a big bite out of my leg. Just a friend of yours.

And then he just speared Wolf's Bay in the bite. And that made me aware wolf. Yeah, okay. Not really how it works. I mean, I knew him for a couple of hours. We were having drinks. I met him at this bar. And then we started wrestling. I met this bar Wolfies. Yep. And with this bar of wolfies. So rest assured and do not be afraid. All of us would find you attractive.

Well, we just don't want to, you know, let's not contribute to anybody just Morphe out there. Everyone's beautiful. Okay, so something positive came out of this experience. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah, Dan, that you're seeing the most inspiring pervosoid there is. So, but to move on. Suffice to say, whatever you look, Dan, as long as you're made to objectify you as a sexual

object. Boy, how do you will I? Anyway, so letters are over. So, next somebody shut up the mailbag, throw that shit in the ocean next to my badge and that big baby So lastly on this podcast we make recommendations of movies that we've seen usually recently that We liked better than say gangster squad movies. We think you should actually watch Elliott what do you have to plug? I haven't seen anything like that. I haven't seen anything like that. I haven't seen anything. I haven't seen anything lately that I really loved, but I decided, hey gangster squad, you know what that's about?

Gangsters. So I'll recommend two gangster movies that I like a lot. I'll recommend a kind of classic 30s gangster movie and a later, you know, more modern gangster movies. So I'm going to recommend one, the Roar in 20s, Strange James Cagney and Humphrey a kind of classic thirties gangster movie and later you know come up more modern gangster movie so i'm gonna recommend one the roorin twenties strange aims cagney and huffie bow guard Which is kind of a classic late thirties Throwback to early thirties gangster movies telling the story of one main gangster and a couple others through the Roorin twenties and their rise and fall

Is that a rebel wash movie? It is a rebel wash I think they're playing that actually at the book and academy of music is part of the world all for you route wall yeah uh... because the because the their brothers because scorsese was still influenced by our wall uh... so if you're in the Brooklyn area

and this hasn't already aired after i think i think i think i think they'll miss it then you know i just get a dvd cuz it's not available but the roaring twenties it's a great classic snappy gangster movie with a tragic ending as they all did back then and then you know what go read Robert War shows as say the gangster is tragic hero Why not and the other movie I recommend is Kung Fu Hassel X gang was the top gangsters

Is the movie the Friends of Eddie Coil Top gangsters is the movie The Friends of Eddie Coil, directed by Peter Yates, 1973, one of Robert Mitchum's best movies, especially of his later movies, Peter Boyles in it too, and it's a picture of a time when gangsters were a lot less glamorous and a lot more gritty. And it's just another great movie about gangster betrayal and the tragedy that happens when your life gets mixed up

with gangsterism. Did you screen that the 92Y or? No, I wanted to, but I think they did it another, either they did another time or we couldn't get a print of it, because I really wanted to. It's a really good movie. I may have shown it once at my house. Stuart, do you want to go or shall I? Sure.

I'm going to continue this theme of gangster movies and recommend Man Hunter from 1986. I don't like a lot of gangster movies. With the greatest gangster in the world. Hannibal Lecter. Lecter. Now what makes Hannibal Lecter a gangster? Well, he's played by a popular cockney actor Brian. But he's not involved in organized crime in any way. So I've been Rico statutes for tick of

ban. No, you don't need him because he's killing people in eating him. Spoiler. He's already in jail and the movie starts. Sure. And it rhymes with cannibal either. So I've been doing some prep lately for a piece I'm doing for the upcoming I Love Bed Movies issue. And so I've been rewatching some of the Thomas Harris based, you know, Hannibal, like their movies. Like your favorite one, Red Dragon. And Man Hunter, which is based on the novel Red Dragon, is really great.

But not really the fun of Manhunter and this, I love bedding. No, you like it? No, no, no, I like it. You're gonna make my one in Hannibal Rising? No, I'm making fun of Hannibal, the Ridley Scott movie. Oh, you mean the continuing adventures of Hannibal Lecter? Yeah, Rainyators. The story.

The adventures of Hannibal Man, Hannibal the new bed. It is, I'm kind of surprised they didn't just keep going with movies where he became a superhero, and it was eventually just like, pop-eye, but he eats people instead of spinets. And coming up with food puns. So, Man Hunter, this was an early Michael Man movie. It stars William Peterson, finally.

And CIS, CSI, CSI. Yeah, no, the culinary entity and everybody's favorite love interest Tom Nunein yeah playing a Mr. Sex people magazine sexiest man alive 2002 forever Tom Nunein playing playing Buffalo Bill right now he's playing the I mean the dragon the dragon to... now we've got a lot of the i mean the dragon to the fairytale i got the i got the non-handle-by-hand or serial killers and times errors movies mixed up and although it although it isn't it doesn't follow the uh... the the original models closely as the

later brat-ratton or directed red dragon uh... it's a bit so much better movie and uh and what is it? Does it use any kind of Davida? Yeah, yeah. So the Iran Butterfly. They shot a scene in the Tom Noon and where he had the big dragon tattoo on his back and then they redid it with him wearing a shirt as they thought it looked too ridiculous. Which is something that Brett Ratner would never do.

No, instead Brett Ratner has the the villain and maybe this in the book But I don't remember it because I don't remember the book. They will go and find the original William Yates drawing of That's a blame you like William Blake. Look I'm getting on all the place William Blake drawing of the red dragon and eat it In the book it's such a weird move to have a real painting be eaten by your character in a story Art either man hunter art eater We're under colon art eater so man hunter if you like a Hannibal Lecter But want to see it see him played by Brian Cox my favorite part like Menon favorite part. Agamemnon himself. Agamemnon. If you want to see a striker from X-Men 2 in a

JL cell, if you want to see the therapist from running with scissors eating people, it's implied. What are their Brian Cox roles? Are they that I can reference? I think my favorite part of that movie is the shot of Brian Cox sitting in his cell impatiently waiting for him to free a phone call and it's like such a like by the time That that any Hopkins was playing Hannah Blyckard He was too like invincible, but Brian Cox plays him as this like pet you went jerk It would really childish and I like that So I would like to recommend a movie that I watched video on to man less emotion Dan

Okay too much you really overwhelming everybody. I wanted I would like to recommend the movie grand piano starring Elijah Wood the voice of John Q. Say and Weirdly Alex Winter as a henchman. I don't know what's so weird about that. He's a working actor. Sure, even Alex Winter's got to eat them. Yeah, come on.

You haven't seen him for a while. Freaked too isn't coming out. He's got to get other work. But it's a movie that when I saw the trailer, I'm like, what the fuck is this? How can I make this a movie? It's basically a fun booth except for instead of Keith or Keith or no. Keith or sufferl india. Instead of Keith or Sutherland keeping Colin Farrell in a fun booth

it's John Q. Zach has Elijah Wood in his sights and Elijah Wood has to play this whole piano recital the symphony recital, including playing this incredibly complex unplayable piece without messing up any of the notes or else he will be shot and his wife will be shot in the opera box. Now does he have extra fingers like that pianist in Gattica? He does not. That's gonna make him more difficult. But it is an absurd premise but it is luckily matched by really melodramatic, amped up directing. Like, that's a camera swooping around. There's like kind of a split screen effect at one point. It's very early Brian

D'Apala. And what's that? Fatal? That's late Brian D'Apala. I mean, we're like sisters. Yeah, I mean, like, this is definitely in that Hitchcock in mode There's something actually very classic about the way this early Brian DiPolma. I mean like high mom. Yeah Greetings But there's something fan of the paradise, but there's something very Snake eyes classic Hitchcock about the feel of the movie because it's a it's a stripped down thriller about an Ordinary guy other than him being a a grand pianist

And I have nothing to do with a phone booth I don't know what I mean that was just a comparison Dan was making the final so he's not on the phone with the guy the final solution Yeah, how does he here? He's like a thing in his ear is in your piece. Yeah, okay the final solution for why I got blue I'm gonna find a solution. Yeah, that's offensive. I Can't you support the final revelation of why I got blue I'm gonna do the final solution. Yeah, that's offensive. I Can't make you support the final revelation of why John Q say that's better is is doing this is pretty dumb There's no not done reason for to do it the only the only not done reason would be maybe like his mother was killed by a piano Yeah, and now he's trying to torture a piano. I don't know. I just had no, even that stupid. It's a very, maybe he's just the best piano coach ever. Yeah. That could be it. Well, there's the bellicrocy of that as being like an

explanation. Like he just wants to hear a beautiful piece played totally well. But it's just, it's just stupid fun. But it's a well put together throw stupid fun says Dan McCoy. Check your brain at the door says Dan McCoy, but keep the receipt because they won't give you your brain back without it And somebody else is gonna take your brain. It's gonna be the lost in found box for like a month Maybe normal my brain. What are you talking about thought was your brain? It doesn't even fit in your head Yeah, exactly. I mean while you're dead because your brain got taken out of your head, why did you check your brain? I don't know. So transformers. I don't know anything anymore because my brain's gone. So transformers. Yeah, that's a type of movie you check your brain at the door for. Yeah, I know that's true. It's not a

transform. No, it's a trans called transformers for a brand piano. The piano turns into a robot that saves him. Yeah, it blocks the bullet and then bites his hands off just like in the movie. Gangster squad. Hat-headed handhurters. The movie. All right. Rate at H for hats and hands. Rate at double H. Triple H, hats hands and hurt. All right, let's be endorsed by H triple H hats hands and hurt all right. Let's endorse by wrestler triple H. Yeah. And by preparation age. Let's close the door

on this episode. The only way to prepare a hat. Preparation age. Meer preparation, John, it then put it on your head, which is also an age. And then put it on your butt much like that dog that we talked about earlier. Best clubhouse callback ever. For theoretical dog moves. Yes. Or a hound if you want to use an h. Another h?

So many h's. Too many stupid hallbacks. Let's stop. Now it belongs to the H's. Okay, H. For the floppas I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I've been Heliot, Halen.

Goodnight everyone. H. I had fun talking to Scott Tobias over Twitter today about blood rain because he was talking he wrote a piece about blood rain on by the way I think it's funny that the only dissolve article I've talked talked any of the right uh... i just caught a moment and he didn't he did not mention billy's a description

and i feel like it's an oversight