The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #151 - Any Which Way You Can

Episode Date: May 3, 2014

1980 was a simpler time, when you could put Clint Eastwood together with an orangutan, not bother to come up with a story, and release it as a major motion picture called Any Which Way but Loose (chec...k out We Hate Movies doing the first film in the "Clint goes ape" series, Every Which Way but Loose HERE). Meanwhile Dan runs through several impeccable celebrity impressions, Elliott explains a rare sex act, and Stu discusses what orangutans did to get orangutan news before Google alerts.Movies recommended in this episode:Blue RuinI Saw the DevilShock Corridor

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Worlds collide in this crossover with We Hate Movies, as we review the second part of the Clint Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Welcome to the flop house. I'm Stuart. Hi. Welcome. Yes. Do we off Stuart Lee didn't say a last name? And welcome to the flop house. I'm Elliot Kaylin. You guessing. Yeah. As to how much you're going to forget of your own name. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:00:55 This time it was one half. So this is a bit of a special episode of the flop house. We're going to learn a lesson. It's a very special episode of the flop house. Stuart, you have a dediction to fun. to the flop house. We're going to learn a lesson. It's a very special episode of the flop house. Stuart, you have a addiction to fun. And Dan, I'm divorcing you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Whoa, it's a double special episode. It's two specials. Yeah. You would still love me the same, right? Even though you're kind of the reason that, yeah. You're the reason I'm having too much fun is because I don't know. Your vanilla humanness has bored me. What? He's got to make up for it without having too much fun is because I don't know, your vanilla humanness has bored me.
Starting point is 00:01:26 What? He's got to make up for it. We are having too much fun. Okay. This is actually a special episode because it's the part two of a pod crawl. Yes. We have teamed up in a, what's called a Marvel DC style crossover. They're Marvel with, with we hate movies.
Starting point is 00:01:43 So I'm venom your gambit and I am I gambit and dance cyclops your gambit dance cyclops I'm beast can I be carnage well you want to be carnage these go terrible character okay continued point is popular bad movie podcast we hate movies watched every which way but loose the first iconic Clint Eastwood orangutan bear knuckle fist fighting trucker movie and we're part of the which way series of movies of which there are two for now and we're bringing up the rear of the duology with any which way you can yeah story you raised an
Starting point is 00:02:20 interesting point one of the gonna do the reboot of the series where Clint Eastwood hands off the orangutan to a younger generation. Yeah, there's like a Channing Tatum, or a Tatum Channing, I don't know. Whichever way you wanna do it. Any which way you can say his name. A Channing Tatum may,
Starting point is 00:02:38 a... Can't be played by a... Eight, he's an eight. He's not a monkey. He's an orangutan, which is an eight, and not a monkey. So any jokes using the phrase monkey business Automatically, let's just let's just span right now monkey business
Starting point is 00:02:50 Monking around hey, hey, where the monkey is monkey wrench or I don't know like if you really like the movie you can't say you're going ape over it. No, you can't say I can't say that That's it. It's a great ape. He's one of the apes. Yeah, he's a really great ape He's a great ape. I mean, well spoiler alert that ape died. Okay. Well, why don't yeah, not a whole age others at the very beginning by talking about animal cruelty Well, this movie is a great example of animal cruelty. So if you are if you are to us As Desmond Morris would say if you want to learn what we're talking about You can run on over to we hate movies and listen to their first installment where they talk about the first one and Then come back to us right now for the second installment where we talk about this movie which is now
Starting point is 00:03:38 So any which way you can it's the sequel right some would say squeak wool but they'd be wrong There are no squeaking animals in this around a 10s according to this movie make the sound of farts with their mouths and also punch people Yeah a lot of punch sound effects and tearing cars apart this whoever invented the punch sound effect made a lot of royalties off this movie Let me tell you There's a lot of smackin They kiss at once. I mean, he kisses a lot of people. He does, that's his guy in a bar. But he only kisses Clint Eastwood once.
Starting point is 00:04:13 And remind me, the whole time I just get thinking about the episode of the critic where he watches one of these movies, and Clint Eastwood's asleep and Clyde starts kissing him and he goes, someone's kissing me. It must be a beautiful woman. Now I'll make sweet love to you without opening my eyes the entire time. It's kind of not that far from the movie in a lot of ways.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yeah, we get into that. I feel like- Are we gonna, now this is gonna be a hard movie to summarize because there's very little plot. Yeah, well this is the part of the show usually where I would summarize the movie. I feel like this movie was made as a cruel joke to you. Somehow Clint Eastwood would be like,
Starting point is 00:04:48 someday there's gonna be a punk who's gonna try and make fun of me. I'm gonna make it as hard as possible. It's not a bad Clint Eastwood impression. It's not a bad thing. You would worry about that one. Now what would happen if Clint Eastwood met Michael Cain? I think it would go a little something like this.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Hey Michael. I love my friend Clint Eastwood and seeing. Okay now what if Dracula is there? Oh Clint Eastwood at the night what beautiful music you make. Okay now Henry Kissinger is there. I can't believe I'm meeting Clint Eastwood. It's pretty good it's pretty good. Okay now what does Clint Eastwood say to Henry Kissinger? Because they're both Republicans. Stay the course, buddy. You're doing a great job. Okay, now what does P.B. Herman say when he gets there? Oh, I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:05:34 It's terrible. Wow. I was ready to go. There's more goofy than anything. Like, there's a reason. That was a great, like a dog, man. It was a great Pinto Colby impression. There's a reason they call me not the next rich little. Yeah, they do call you that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Not necessarily the rich little. Yeah, so wait. So this movie, it's very, it's, there's not. This movie is like if somebody drew a bunch of cartoons of scenes featuring the same characters on a poster and then you just kind of looked at it all at once. It's like a jackdewist poster. It is one of those things you're watching. poster and then you just kind of looked at it all at once. It is one of these you're watching, is this an adaptation of a book of short stories? About Filo implied the the beer nougal boxer and his orangutan buddy.
Starting point is 00:06:17 It takes a long time for any sort of story to kick in. There were some sort of blue collar PG Woodhouse at there. The things covered these stories. Peggy Woodhouse. Stay at home mom in buildings decided to write this real murder is in the room. Or not at all in any way except there's no rangatang in it. Yeah, that's what I meant. Although Clyde, you have to assume murder to number of people. He punched.
Starting point is 00:06:41 There's a lot of people in this so hard that they are immediately knocked out. Yeah, probably dead. So anyway, here's the mo- so the first movie- Yeah, I'm only here where you start with this one. The first movie established that is Clint Eastwood as Philo Beto, a truck driver, bare-knuckle boxer with his best friend Orville and an orangutan named Clyde, who he just happens to have around. So the Reagan thing has the most normal name of the three of a phylo orville and Clyde yeah I guess so they also live with Ruth Gordon or ville's mom actor root Gordon well the character played by Ruth Gordon in the role of sassy old lady yeah does she have sex in this movie yes she does we'll
Starting point is 00:07:19 get there she kicks a guy in the nuts than as sex with him we call the old Ruth Gordon sure that's just swell up his genital. Well, that's why if you hire a prostitute and you say give me a Ruth Gordon. She kicks you in the nuts than has sex with you. Yeah. A Cleveland Ruth Gordon is a different thing though. Yeah, yeah. That's when you do it in Cleveland. You just name it after whatever city you're in at the time. Give me a newer, a Ruth Gordon. Sorry. We're in Boise. And if you're in at the time. Give me a newer Kruth Gordon, sorry, we're in Boise.
Starting point is 00:07:46 And if you're on the, we'll take a while. You're on the space station, you say, give me a space Ruth Gordon. Oh yeah, of course, because everything's space and space. Hey, me that space soda, I want a space drink and so forth. I need a space straw. Cost a lot of space bucks, that space for your,
Starting point is 00:08:01 can you give me a space massage? I'm feeling a lot of space aches in my space shoulders. That's a waste of time. Do you want a happy space ending? Yeah. And so forth. That's what space massage thing. Don't go into those space parlors. They're just, you know, they're not good for you. Okay, so where's the space? So this movie takes place in space. So the first movie, they live in California. It's a very blue collar mill you and this is a movie that was made at a time late 70s, early 80s. This movie came out in 1981. It was like kind of the beginning of the end of the era of the Hollywood making a lot of movies about blue collar people.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Let's call it the How Need a Mera. I remember this was not directed by him. I mean, I mean, it's how need a mission, in case it because there's a lot of like car chasing and fist fighting. But the movies like radio was was a genre. Yeah, okay. These types of other movies that were like fat city about blue-collar people that it's not how need a mask in any way. Sure. So, but you got your two strains of blue-collar movie. You're low-key character studies about depressing stuff. And yeah, and your how-need-up type movies about fist fights and bars and honky-tonk music and Jorangatans riding around in trucks beer trucks let's face it date raping other Orangatans as we'll get to it but anyway, so that's the first movie established
Starting point is 00:09:16 Those things and there's a and Sandra lock Clint Eastwoods at the time real-life girlfriend plays his movie love interest but they have a falling out so this Movie in the movie she's she's running a scam on him. And the first following around like the whole point, like the title of the movie is about this. Yeah. So there's nothing to do with the orangutan on the poster, which makes if you the orangutan is on the poster, again, he should be the star of the movie or made it the second
Starting point is 00:09:41 to be. Madlo Blom right. Yeah. And now this movie didn't do as well as that one. This movie was only the fifth highest grossing movie in 1980. But so this movie starts off. Clint Eastwood has his last bare knuckle fight for a while in a what a quarrier and oil refinery pit or something.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Yeah, it looks like where the good guys live in road warrior basically. But it's in the middle of somewhere in California. Yeah, and this is one of these movies that we've talked about before, where people are famous for things they should never be famous for. He is a bare knuckle pit fighter, but he's somehow incredibly famous.
Starting point is 00:10:14 He's a legend. He's a legend. And he's not famous for being the guy who drives around with a fucking orangutan. No, he's famous for being a great fist fighter. And if anything, the orangutan is seen as not particularly out of the ordinary or even worth mentioning. The one, the two times people talk about it.
Starting point is 00:10:31 One time at the very end of the movie, a cop tries to arrest him for having this orangutan. The beginning of the movie, they're in a bar and a guy looks, he's seen next to Clyde at the bar. Of course, Clyde gets to go in the bar and drink because this is this okay. There's a coach from Major League is the bar attender. He's cool. Here's what I'm going to pause it. Because they sit he sits down in the guy on the bars like I don't like sit next to dirty aves not in a way like what the fuck there's an ape in this bar, but in the way of like a racist would say. So it's almost like I'm going to pause it. This takes place in the universe where it's like one
Starting point is 00:11:04 of the one of the middle stages between conquest of the plan of the apes and plan of the apes, where apes are like, just finally starting to get their civil rights, but there's still a lot of racist out there who are not cool with it and have decided that they're just gonna cause trouble for apes. Either that or, but then there's a zoo that has orangutans.
Starting point is 00:11:22 But there's also like a scene later on. There is one scene later on where they check into a hotel and they have to like dress, glide up in like a night dress. It's like a man of yoke costume. My aunt, my aunt, flow or whatever. And- And flow.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Well, that's- Yeah. Big dress, glide up is the concept of menstruation. No, but- Such a- It's really elaborate outfit. But no, it- Client, I don't think this idea was really elaborate outfit. I know. Clyde, I don't think this idea is really getting across.
Starting point is 00:11:49 But I don't hopefully they'll think it's clever rather than funny. Yeah. Well, they're not going to think it's funny because it's in this movie and almost nothing in it is. But that's the only time that they make any bow to the idea that like, oh, maybe not every establishment will be welcoming of a rank of dance. So they are, which rank tans, as we know, from learners in the Rue Marg are notorious murderers.
Starting point is 00:12:10 And I know it's that murderers in the Rue Marg, which sounds like Rue Marg, which, if the sentence is laughing, if the sentence knew what it was doing, they'd, on the Halloween episode, that have murder in the Rue Marg, where a marge is attacked by, or I guess Homer is the orangutan. Yeah. It's basically the King Homer cartoon from the other three house of horror episode. But anyway, getting back to the movie because we're about 30 seconds into it. Pliny's would has a fight at this place.
Starting point is 00:12:37 He says, that's my last fight. Clyde takes a moment to shit on the seat of a police car because Clyde hates the cops. Let's just say that. He's not a big fan of the pigs and so forth. What is it like a free spirit? So the character is like a coyote, a trickster spirit. He is, that's true. He is the rabbit figure. So many African tales. Yeah. The Clyde. The son of a western culture by Spider-Man. I don't think that's exactly. That's exactly. The mythology, I don't think lines up down the line.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Not completely, but hear him out. Okay, let's continue with the movie before I go on a dissertation about how Spider-Man is similar to Kyoto. No, we've got time. Come on, start. So, then the characters basically hang around for a long time. Glynneastwood goes to this honky-tongued bar and sees Sandra Locke perform at least once.
Starting point is 00:13:31 No, we get reintroduced to characters from the first movie. Yeah, Fats Domino performs at one point. This is like, the movie just goes into musical numbers at times, and that used to be more common. That a movie would just have a musical number in it. The Fats Domino being definitely the biggest name of all the... Oh sure.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Yeah, the first half of the movie features multiple like lengthy performances. In this, yeah. And it's something that I wish they'd done better because I would have kind of liked it if they did it better. That there's something, there's something about country music that I don't always like listening to like on my headphones, but in a movie, I'm more than willing to have a scene with just a band performing. There's something about country music that I like more in a movie the same way that techno
Starting point is 00:14:16 music works for me when it's in the soundtrack of a movie. But I would never listen to it. When vampires are fighting blades or something. It sounds terrible. By and large, these are not great country band no they're not but they couldn't really get out the big names fat someone who's the biggest on their own he died that fat stomino is the biggest name in the country music movie is uh... says something but anyway eventually we see some slick new york types who watch among us fight a snake
Starting point is 00:14:42 and they start talking about this fighter named willson who apparently is so tough he's been hurting people and no one will fight him but then they hear about Phil Beto the fight king of the west played by Clint Eastwood they say if we can get these two guys to fight with the fight of the century these two famous bear knuckle underground fighters and so they approach Clint Eastwood and they offer him money to fight this guy Wilson the characters kind of hang around again for a while. We see Clyde literally just hang around the yard punching things.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Despite being grifted by Sandro Locke, they end up getting together. Yeah, he breaks right out of a YWCA. The first third of them would be is that right? And then, Oh yeah, we shouldn't pass over the scene where, after yeah, he breaks right out of the YWCA. They like go out until I guess the shed. Yeah, is what I want to get to so she's gonna stay
Starting point is 00:15:27 over at his house. Sure. Sleeping in his room which has a huge gun case. This case just full of rifles. Anyway she's and she's a real American. Where you gonna sleep and he goes I'll sleep in the shed with Clyde and he beds down with Clyde. Which has gotten much larger I think than in the first film. Well they expanded it with the money they made. So Clyde is spoon think that in the first film i will be out of expanded with the money they made the supply the spooning him in the in the they're swaddled together the spoon sandalock walks in and is like
Starting point is 00:15:52 basically is the room for one more gets into bed with clinton clied fate to black clike does not leave no no but we're talking about her hand and this is shed with straw over the ground and clink clearly took his shirt off before getting in bed with an orangutan Yeah, it's probably a scratchy animal scratchy, but also like Clyde has clearly pee and shout all over the shit. That's why that's why the straw is there
Starting point is 00:16:13 Yeah, and he put a he put a newspaper clip of an orangutan Well, that's it the straw is not there so Clyde can spit it into gold Selling his first child to ruffle still skin. It's there because it's absorbing pee. And on the wall is an article that I guess Clyde ripped out of the newspaper of an orangutan in the zoo. He comes the fucking newspaper looking for a orangutan. He has a clipping service that cuts orangutan stories for him. And this one is a girl orangutan that he has a crush on and he's put it up There's a pen up in his room. But anyway, so we fade to the next morning Clint Eastwood and Sandra Locker Just in bed with Clyde Clyde gets up leaves the two lovebirds and just kissing her on the face
Starting point is 00:16:56 And I know he is not a monkey, but he is just monkeying around in the yard for a while Yeah, but we have to assume we have to assume that a lie to that was a three-some between these two in orangutan and Sandra like that and after Clyde leaves they make choke they make a comment about like okay he's gone we can you know we can get it on I guess they didn't say it in so many words and then they cut to a shot of Clyde like goofing around breaking shit and you're assuming that's like that's a visual metaphor for intercourse right? There's no more poetic parallel for human intercourse than a rangutan in a junk yard just wrecking spring water and news mouth from a host. He's wriggling his body and
Starting point is 00:17:36 he was trash can that's what and he gets wrapped up in a hammock. Yeah let me talk to you about the birds and bees. What that's basically what it's like. My dad sent me talk to you about the birds and bees what that's basically what it's like my dad sent me down As young he said son. I want you to use for me. I want to tell you about the orangutan in the trash cans We had a orangutan looks trash can it Always you're gonna want to put a hammock on that thing before you get into a ring in a trash can Safe sex fun safe sex and that's why I've never had sex because it scared the hell out of me So thanks dad. So it sounded gross. Disgusting. So anyway, Clint Eastwood has a threesome with a rangatine and a lady.
Starting point is 00:18:13 And he decides, I guess that he doesn't want to fight. There's a- Yeah, why would you want to fight somebody after that? Yeah, and he pisses off the mob guys. And the mob guy says, we'll be back, but I skipped over the sequence in which or maybe it happens after It's the sequence where they're gonna get Clyde a date with that orangutan. He has a crush on. Mm-hmm. So they go to the zoo That's later. Yeah, that's that's after he pisses off the mobsters and then Clyde rips apart the guys Okay, so Clyde he says I don't want to fight and the mobsters is you're gonna fight and if you don't my friends
Starting point is 00:18:46 Are gonna come see you and he's like okay send your friends Clyde rip apart his car Yeah, so he does which comes after an earlier scene where we see Clyde helping Orville in Orville's junkyard business rip apart a junk car That's check off once said yeah, if in orangutan ribs apart a car in the first act We have to see the orangutan rip across rip apart a mobster's car in the second act But each of these scenes are like five minutes Because prime a no look you got this for almost two hours long you got to pat it out So let's see the orangutan pick up every piece of the car and then have an insert shot of it flying The growing a piece of metal through the air.
Starting point is 00:19:25 It's like the shot in Lady Hawk when they shoot down the Hawk with an arrow. And it clearly looks like somebody just stuck a Hawk with an arrow and threw it in the air. It was the shot in at the end of rookie of the year when the guy hits the ball really high. And you can clearly see a hand at the bottom of the frame throwing the ball up in the air.
Starting point is 00:19:44 I was going to say it's like the shot at the end of Gouni's where he tears of the frame throwing the ball up in the air. I was gonna say it's like the shot at the end of goonies where he tears up the contract and throws it up in the air. And you see other pieces of confetti come in from the other sides as like two other people from your side throwing more torn up paper. Now another thing we should mention there's a biker game at Clint Peas pissed off in the first movie called the black widows. They are a neo-Nazi gang but they're pretty incompetent in bumbling so they're kind of level level. Yeah, they're like Hogan's heroes style. Yeah, I guess it's like if you mix Hogan's heroes and sons of Anarchy, that's basically what these guys are. And they first-clied punches them and they fall down. Another time they get they get chased through a tar factory, I
Starting point is 00:20:20 guess. Yep. And they got hot tar on them and Clint takes them to the hospital. And that's, hot tar is, can kill people. Like, it's really dangerous, but all that happens is their hair you get ripped off, gets ripped off, and they're wearing crazy wigs. And they're frozen into statue shapes. Yeah, yeah, but then the hospital, they take the tar off.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Oh, okay. It's like how the dinosaurs were just frozen into statue shapes. I wish. Man, we could just- It's like a statue dinosaurs. Yep. Yep. That's why there's all that stuff there. It's done to could just... We could just statue dinosaurs. Yep. That's why there's all that stuff there.
Starting point is 00:20:46 They lost dinosaurs statues. That's why the dinosaurs are bald. And they're funny clown wigs. The dinosaurs are clown wigs. Spoiler alert. Those guys after they lose their war. Jurassic Park and the fun wigs. Jurassic Park 4 funny clown wigs.
Starting point is 00:21:00 We mixed the DNA of the dinosaurs with the DNA of funny clown wigs. So this is a game. We hope nothing bad happens. And then the dinosaurs don't get loose, but no one wants to see these dinosaurs with crazy clown hair. The dinosaurs are dangerously hilarious. The children are too afraid of the dinosaurs, no of the clowns. We never should have mixed them with clown DNA. Watch this.
Starting point is 00:21:23 And he just pokes a dinosaur in here. Ah! They're not supposed to make that noise. It's too old. We're gonna have to, okay, we'll fit all the dinosaurs into one car, take them on tour around the country, make the clown DNA work for us. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Uh, million dollar idea. Well, I don't know. Maybe half a million. I think the audience would pay a million dollars to not have heard that Well thing anyway, so Clint Eastwood's gonna have to do this fight. We'll find out later why but he's he's pissed off the mob and the important thing to know though is Clides got to get laid so they go to the zoo. Clide got to have it There was originally Clyde was originally cast and she's got to have it until Spike Lee decided,
Starting point is 00:22:06 you know what, let me make this about contemporary Brooklyn life and not about Narengatann, who's really horny. Yeah. Anyway, so they go to the zoo and this is where it gets morally dubious. This is where the pit fighting movie about a guy who keeps Narengatann in a shed and has sex with it becomes morally dubious in that they go to the zoo with a vile of some kind of sedative Get that settlement from the from the vet. I guess mail order Arangatans sedative company. Yeah, who knows Clint Eastwood was mixing it up in a bath in his backyard back then You can you didn't have the internet you had order from the back of the comments I was back when you could buy you could buy guns and an Arangatans medicine from the back of common
Starting point is 00:22:44 I feel like this is a movie where the appearance of anything in cr That was back when you could buy, you could buy guns and a rangutan medicine from the back of the comments. I feel like this is a movie where the appearance of anything Inkren Gruis can be explained by that he just fought a guy for it. Okay, I could see that. Yeah. Like, where did this gang get these great wigs? Oh, they fought some guy for it.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And so, yeah, that's a good point. Okay, where did Clyde get that thing? What the, what the newspaper clip is? Yeah, the new server good point. Okay. Where did Clyde get that thing? What the what the newspaper clip is? Yeah, the new server clipping. He was clipping service. Yeah, he fought me one of years supply of you sure you just want a rangatan news? You got a year supply. Go crazy. No, just the right. Just give me hot orangutans. I got lost my subscription to play chip. Anyway, so they go go to the zoo Clyde somehow they have a viola. They have a syringe of orangutan sedative and a banana and
Starting point is 00:23:30 Clyde sticks himself with the syringing passes out so Clint's like I guess it's up to me Hope I find the right tan and No, we do because he brings a he brings her back and Clyde's all over which leads to they go to a motel and this is when clint and sander locker in one room applied and his date earn another room and ramsey and her husband and you may remember from from the the upon a miss mava momma
Starting point is 00:24:01 she uh... earlier in the movie she and her husband were seen driving down the highway and they saw Clint Orville and Clyde peeing inside the road. It was a hilarious gag. Now those characters come back and the orangutans are making so much noise that they want to leave, but she gets up to pack the suitcase and the sight of her butt as she bends over the suitcase and the sound of orangutans doing it drives her husband wild with lust. And so they have some kind of like past life
Starting point is 00:24:26 experience he had of some of a full of dancers. Of a full of dancers. Meanwhile, so there's like that flat like there's you hear some jungle drums on the soundtrack. It's very disturbing. It's all this is one of a couple times the movie that it gets really goofy. And the next time is about to come up too. So that so the mob bad guys. But wait, hold on. Let's not gloss over the fact. You mentioned before, but let's let's underline this. Clint Eastwood has kidnapped her orangutan. So that his orangutan can have sex basically sexually assault this other monkey. The woman, well, the female orangutan, she seems into it. She's lying in bed. She seems
Starting point is 00:25:02 into it. Meanwhile, Clyde's, she was not into it. I assume she'd like have her mace out. I'd say no. What like a mace like a cudgel. Yeah like us like a ball of chain like a morning star. Yeah. Yeah. The uh just a medieval medieval ape swinging a morning star. How scary would that have been? What a great idea an idea of a night who care who like rides around with an orangutan on a horse. It's a mysterious night who never speaks and it turns out he's an orangutan. Okay, I like it. But he's noble at heart.
Starting point is 00:25:34 He fights a dragon. Turns out the dragon is just a big dog. Sure. But this love. And they save the King of England. It turns out to be a pigeon with a bottle cap on his head that looks like a crown. I call it Elliott's fairy tale animals. But this love interlude with Clinton's Santa Claus takes like a hokey. It's interrupted. This is a long scene. It takes a long to at least 15 minutes.
Starting point is 00:25:55 And Clyde is impressing his date by picking up the furniture and throwing it and hanging from the chandelier. Clint impresses Sandra Locke by also hanging from the chandelier. Okay, sure little swearing jeans. Meanwhile, a bunch of mobsters with guns, they end three piece suits because it's the 70s. They go to Ruth Gordon's house and Orville's house and they say, where's, where's Filo? They basically threaten them into telling them where they are and then they go to try to stop them.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Ruth Gordon goes, Oh no, I got to save them, I guess. Johnson and Toad Truck drives away. Orville gets in his car and drives away. They, uh, they drive past miles and miles of auto body shops. Yeah. This is in this movie, every store is an auto body shop. Occasionally, there's a fast food restaurant, but it's like, it's kind of like in Cannonball run, the entire country is just roads and cars. Like in this one, just roads and repair shops. Having grown grown up in the Midwest that is not entirely an act this movie doesn't take place in the Midwest they're going to Bakersfield, California
Starting point is 00:26:50 I'm just saying the great center of this land of ours is a vast and I repeat again that's not where the movie takes place yeah all right that's like if the movie is set in New York and it's nothing but ice dairy queens you're like hey in the Midwest there's a lot of dairy queens well not not that many in New York and it's nothing but ice dairy queens. You're like, hey, in the Midwest, there's a lot of dairy queens. Well, not not that many in New York and certainly there's other businesses.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Why should you get out of the city in California? Broadly horizons is what we're saying. I guess you're telling me to go to the boring parts of the country. Yeah. Some ways to do my time in the vibrant metropolises. Yep. Metropolises. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I have a super band. Okay. It is Ruth Gordon. Ruth Gordon goes to the motel. Track them down the motel to Warren Clint Eastwood? She sees the hotel proprietor who's peeping in on the One of the sex it could be the orangutans I mean frankly if you were passing by a motel you saw orangutans having sex in the window you would stop and watch Let don't don't lie to me Dan. Tell me the truth. you would stop and watch. What the point is, the sound of a ring of ten. Don't lie to me, Dan. Tell me the truth.
Starting point is 00:27:45 You would stop and watch. Certainly I would, but the point here, and you know how long you would watch until they were finished. It's up to me. Yeah, exactly. You would watch the after-glow and the cuddling for a while, just to make sure they didn't start up again. But you're a perv.
Starting point is 00:27:58 But the sound of a ring of ten. And the only guy who goes to the zoo and then he was like, come on, go at it. I paid my $7. The sound of a ring of ten. And the only guy who goes to the zoo and then he goes like, come on, go at it. I paid my $7. The sound of a ring of tea. Disgusting. Having $7. That's a small zoo.
Starting point is 00:28:10 It's a very small zoo and they only have turtles. Sure. No ring of tea and it's at all. What am I shouting? He's shouting at the turtles. And if any birds happen to be flying by, hey, bird, come on down to the sex of the turtle. The turtle's having sex is very slow,
Starting point is 00:28:24 which makes it all the sex there. It's all tantrums. It's more sensual, yeah. Yeah, when sting says, I do tantric sex and I can have sex for hours, it turtles like, yeah, and. But what I want to say, the sound of the orangutans having sex has whipped this entire hotel climb complex to an erotic frenzy. And so Ruth Gordon sees this guy peeping
Starting point is 00:28:46 and he is suddenly totally turned on by Ruth Gordon. And this is the other goofy moment. Is he visualizes Boderic in 10, running down the beach with Ruth Gordon's face, superimposed over Boderic. Yeah, we're talking about modern day level special. This is like a Steve Odekerk movie movie level joke and effect in a way that I wish this movie had more of it because when this movie is best and by what best
Starting point is 00:29:11 I mean tolerable is when it goes totally off the rails But anyway, he goes how about it to Ruth Gordon who kicks him in the nuts and then said and then immediately it's like Oh, no, the only live one in 20 years and I ruin him. And then she comes onto him and it's implied they have sex also. So everyone, we're bill sexually sad. Orville goes, he knows the mob is coming. So what he does is he goes to a fast food restaurant, receives some cops, yells at them that they're gay, they get mad and chase him to the motel.
Starting point is 00:29:40 It breaks up the, and the mob guys run away when they hear the sirens. He's saved Clint Eastwood, but at what cost? Now he's in jail and they think he's a labeled homophobic yeah now he's gonna be on a watch list so long to be the CEO of Mozilla he has to sell his share in the LA Clippers orville's whole business is falling apart yeah so after that they so lot they go to return this orangutan, they kidnapped to the zoo. And while they're there, the mob guys come, they kidnapped Sandra Locke, they beat up Clint Eastwood and they light his truck on fire.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Clyde saves him by dragging him across a parking lot. So he's dragging him like two feet away from where he was originally. So he's still singed probably. Yeah. And Clint Eastwood, Norville, like, we got to get her back. Yeah. And then they were signing some time working on it. Yeah. probably yeah and Clint Eastwood Norville like we got to get her back yeah yeah that's going on repair his truck doesn't seem that concerned he's like well easy come easy go he's repairing his truck and he gets a call from the mob
Starting point is 00:30:36 it's like oh you're gonna try to rescue your girlfriends oh yeah I had a girl about that um Clyde and I have moved on. Please tell her to let it go. I'm a one orangutan man. It's a complex before. You have to do this fight or else we're going to kill her, I guess. And the fight's going to be in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Oh, so good. I apologize. We skipped a very important part.
Starting point is 00:31:00 We skipped a very important scene, which is why he said he wasn't going to do the fight, which is that the other fight or Wilson just shows up one day and starts jogging with Colleen East Clinton Eastwood. And they really get along and hit it off his friends. Yeah. They're going to come and they're like punching people. Falls off a cliff and Clint Eastwood saves him. And so like they are buddies now and they don't want to fight.
Starting point is 00:31:19 It's like moving the foreign from the line. And it's one of the things where it's like they've been talking about this Wilson guy as if he is a monster. He's been hurting people. no one will fight him. And when he shows up, he is the most good-natured, well-mannered man. Like he's super friendly, everybody loves him. He should be the hero of the movie.
Starting point is 00:31:34 If anything, can he swathe is the villain of this movie? He is enslaved in orangutan. He kidnaps another orangutan. He infiltrates a YWCA and breaks the rules there he is living off the largest of Ruth Gordon he is the bad guy and this guy Wilson is a real stand-up no black I mean he's got his business is based around beating people are I mean people so is the hero of the movie exactly anyway I feel like you know else his business was based around beating people up Superman. Oh nice how'd that pay for him very well
Starting point is 00:32:07 Because what would happen was he would set it up with the bad guys They would pay him to come to feed them and then he would like steal some of the money and give it to him You know, that's pretty metal. That's like current DC But let's say you're robbing a bank Superman comes in quote stops you really at super speed He takes some of the money. He wants to wet his beak a little bit. Yeah, exactly. Also Superman has a beak in these stories. Because he's one of those imaginary stories where a witch put a spell on him and he has a bird head. I thought that was the bad guy, like the evil version of Thor that's like, like, what?
Starting point is 00:32:38 Better a bill. Yeah, better a bill. He's like, he's a bad, a big guy. No, he's got a horse face. All right, let's, I think we need to like sort of like fast forward a little bit. Fast forward, we go to Jackson Hole. Wilson helps him. Wilson helps him. Wilson helps him rescue. Sandra lock orville gets shot in the in the during the rescue attempt, which the brilliant plan involves Orville jumping out from behind a corner on the top of a guy.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Yeah. And then they punch each other for a while. The jumps on top of her. And then they just. Oh, that's right. Well, they don't want to fight, but then they're like, and there's all this money that was bet on the fight. People are coming from all over the country to bet on this fight. Even from the Northern exposure. Yeah. Barry Corbin comes all the way.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Barry Corbin, I think, is War Games. War Games is Barry Corbin. And his Barry Corbin, and he is the best character in the home movie aside from Wilson, the bad guy who's really a good guy. Barry Corbin and his Barry Corbin and he is the best character in the home movie aside from Wilson the bad guy Who's really a good guy Barry Corbin is one of three? I guess rich cowboys who just traveled the country having the same strip poker game with their three girlfriends and Flying a plane upside down. They seem to have the most fun life in the world But anyone go everyone goes to Jackson hole the black widows go and they bet on Phil These two old ladies go and they bet on Phil everyone these two old ladies go, and they bet on Phil. Everyone wants to see this fight happen,
Starting point is 00:33:47 and Phil and Wilson say, you know what, we're not gonna fight, we're friends. And then they're like, hey, you know what? But I do wonder who would have won that fight, you or me. So they go to an abandoned barn in the middle, like a repair shack somewhere or barn, and they just start punching each other.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Some kids see them doing it, the police see the kids, word gets out, the fight is on. The entire town runs over, like they're running away from a giant spider or something, just running down the street to go watch this fight and it's like a shitty version of the quiet man, Clint Eastwood and this guy Wilson just punching each other all around town. Yeah, like bursting through walls, doing like stage transitions transitions. They burst through the window and the Italian restaurant. They're in a mall. Yeah. And what are those people doing sitting around eating Italian food?
Starting point is 00:34:31 They should be watching this awesome fight. And much like in gangster squad, it ends up in a public park where long story short, Clint Eastwood gets his arm broken by Wilson and Wilson says, that's it. The fights over. I broke your arm and Clint's like, no, I'm not done yet. They keep fighting. He manages to knock Wilson out. The guys who were, the bookies who arranged the whole thing
Starting point is 00:34:51 and now are out all this money because everyone I guess bet on the winner, which makes me feel bad for Wilson that apparently nobody bet on him. They, they're such a nice guy and he's totally ripped. They try to run out of town, but the black widows stop them and take all the money. The black widows are totally made up with Clint
Starting point is 00:35:07 by this point. They realize he's a great fighter and he's not that bad a guy and now they're rich. And Clint Eastwood goes home. Yeah, he basically leaves. He gets stopped on the way out of town by a motorcycle cop but Clyde Punches him. So everything's okay.
Starting point is 00:35:22 It's like the end of Stoker. Any which way you can. Yep, it's just like the end of Stoker. It's. It's like the end of Stoker. And he which way you can. Yep, it's just like the end of Stoker. It's slightly less fatal than the end of Stoker. I don't know, he hit that cop pretty hard. You don't seem to get up. That's true. And he's also knocked out in the middle of the desert
Starting point is 00:35:35 who probably died of heat. Sure, he stroked or de-duration. Coyote, he can touch him. Just a coyote. It's just like gangster squad again. A coyote's gonna come along and eat him. So here's, you know what, there's so much to say that's bad about this movie and the loose plot
Starting point is 00:35:47 and it's stupid. I'll let me tell you one thing I liked about it. Okay, just one thing. There's a lot of handheld camera work in the fight scenes and the scenes where a client is just monkey and around. Oh, I thought we were, nevermind, we banned their pun, but I'm saying anyway, you know, I'll pay my fine later, which is like 10 monkey bucks
Starting point is 00:36:03 or something. And I really like how, I'll pay my fine later. It was like 10 monkey bucks or something. It'd be eight bucks. And I really like how I really liked that. Like the use of handheld cameras in those scenes. I guess. And that's the one thing I liked. Although when they're fighting, like the thing I didn't like about this movie, the thing, one of the things I didn't like about this movie is for a movie based on, in part,
Starting point is 00:36:21 on bear-knuckle fighting, like all the fight scenes just can just are terrible. Of Clint Eastwood punching at the camera. And then it would cut to a guy like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like falling backwards. The fight started. Yeah, there's no choreography. Parably choreographed.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Okay, so things I liked. I liked every time the black widow showed up, we got a little bit of like, duop or like, a little bit of jazz, saxophone. For some reason, these buttoneonazi bikers and 50s duops, like, well, they're bikers, they listen to do-off, right? Yeah, there's tough guys.
Starting point is 00:36:49 I like that. They're like the gorge. I like that first fight in the quarry when Clint Eastwood knocks that guy down. And then there's two babes just bouncing up and down. Okay, that was a moment where there's two busty babes jumping up and down. And I was like, I was like, I like this, let's see more of them.
Starting point is 00:37:07 And then the camera literally zooms in on one of their boobs, on a set of boobs and I was like, oh right now, I feel kind of gross. Yeah, they make you feel like a voyeur. That was, you know what? That's the film for taking your male gaze earlier. That scene, that, that moment, that moment accomplished what sucker punch failed to do in two hours. Sure.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Which was, make me identify my lust and then feel bad for it for objectifying these women zacks nighter you should watch any any which way you can and realize how a master does it and that master is whoever directed this uh... buddy van horn i believe in the body van horn uh... the dead pool and other movie right made some movies that pleased with him. Guys. Well, I'm going to say another thing.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Okay. This movie is, as you said, we're watching it, Rich with Incident. And I've discovered the difference between a movie like this and a movie like Killer of Sheep, which is also just Incident, which is a rich picture of the life of a community. And that is quality. So I guess that's the difference. What, what, what kind of movie is this? Was this a comedy or was it an action movie?
Starting point is 00:38:11 I mean, I think it's, I think it's a categorized under adventure comedy. Adventure comedy, you know, like you're a... Which is a pretty loose, 70 style. The ideals of the Nile and your, yeah, sure, people swing in by. Romance of the, Romance of the Stone and your,
Starting point is 00:38:23 your, uh, straw dogs is. I don't know. I guess it's not really a comedy or an adventure. I feel This has you know you go spusters is this one of those I mean this feels like a very 70s movie There's a lot of scenes that are a little too long like crane shots that go on just a little too long Yeah, all shots went on everything the movie is very slow-paced and I'm gonna gonna like is fine with the slow-paced movie if it makes sense this did not a wacky comedy about an orangutan and a fist fighter should not be a slow-paced movie and the orangutan is of course an afterthought
Starting point is 00:38:55 totally superfluous to almost everything in the movie except the kidnapping another orangutan for sex subplot although that was like it was like the screenwriter subplot the screenwriters were like we could subplot. If the screen writers were like, we could have a reason to explain, for this plot, for the plot to still be in the movie, we have to come up with a reason why this movie can't start with Clint Eastwood looking down at a tombstone
Starting point is 00:39:13 that says, fly it on it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the final fight. He doesn't factor into any of the scenes where they like get away with stuff except I guess when that mob guys car gets ripped off, ripped up like if he's just a hindrance and he never helps them in any way. Yeah. Alright, we got a tie bow on this. So let's go to final judgments. This is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of like. Ellie, what do you have to say about that? I wish I could have said it was movie kind of like uh... but i'm gonna say bad bad movie you know was almost a good had the potential to be a good bad movie i would say that the for me the first half of this movie was a bad bad movie
Starting point is 00:39:54 the second half was a good bad movie if it was all like the second half you got a slug through the first half to get the do yes as soon as they kidnapped that uh... that poor rain and it's uh... it becomes a good bad movie, I think, but up until that point now. So if you're making a movie and the movie is slowing down, have the characters kidnapped Rangutan for sex. Yeah. I mean, not necessarily for them to have sex with it. No, for them, yeah. Okay. You're making a bug. If you were making a bug like if you're making a biography of Charles Lindbergh
Starting point is 00:40:26 And a certain a drag at Lindbergh kidnap and rang it and have sex with it Yeah, I guarantee you it'll shoot some energy into the movie So before we move on before move on we have a few words from sponsors to I believe you have a few words first up So guys listeners at home you love your mom, right? Of course he do. And you didn't, you'd be a monster. And you're terrible. So coming in a couple of weeks, we got Mother's Day, we're a week and a half or a week from
Starting point is 00:40:57 the airing of this episode. And thanks to the flop house, you now can get a little deal on some flowers for that mother in your life. Flour De Maire. Why don't you surprise her with a beautiful 100-blooms bouquet plus a free glass vase from proflowers.com for just $19.99. Did you hear that, Elliot? $19.95 for flowers and devas. You're probably having your wallet right now. So I should pay cash.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah, just feed into the disc drive. Give us a minute, I'll send it to pro flowers. And you can upgrade to 100 blooms with a pink vase and chocolates for only $9.99 more. That's only roughly $29.99. That's a pretty good deal. Now, what you need to do is use the code Flop House to get this special price on your Mother's Day order while supplies last. So you just go over to proflowers.com. No, proflowers.clown. So go to proflowers.com. On the upper right hand corner is a blue microphone and you need to click on that thing. There'll be a little text line and you type in Flapp House.
Starting point is 00:42:13 The name of your favorite podcast. Yep, the name of your favorite Flapp House is the Flapp House. It's a podcast. And that deal expires Friday at midnight. So don't drag your feed guys. Friday before Mother's Day. Yes, that's the Friday before Mother's Day at midnight so don't drag your feet. Get your mom some flowers. And also we have another sponsor for this episode. It is one Warby Parker, a new concept in I wear. Look guys, if you can't see, you can't see. That's a terrible thing, but you shouldn't have to pay out the notes for that, right? So this is a service for blind people? Well, it's for people like me who've got not 2020 vision. And I believe I have 22,000 vision.
Starting point is 00:43:03 I believe I have 22,000 vision. Well, people who think that glasses should not be a pretty penny, and Warry Parker's prescription glasses start at $95 including the prescription lenses, and the titanium collection starts at a mere 145, including prescription lenses. And all glasses include anti-reflective and anti-glare coding at no additional cost. But the real advantage of War of the Parker is you can buy your glasses online with the home trial program which allows customers to order five pairs of glasses to be shipped directly to them where they can try them on in the comfort of their own home and get feedback from say your wife the person has to stare at your mug or your husband someone that you want to impress. Who person has to stare at your mug or your husband, someone
Starting point is 00:43:46 that you want to impress. Who also has to stare at your mug? Yeah. Well, your mug collection. Maybe your mugs want to stare at you for once. It's only fair. You've been staring at them. You can keep those frames for five days before sending them back free with the prepaid
Starting point is 00:44:02 returning shipping label with no obligation to buy. And when you put place in order, Warp Park will get started on that order right away and have your new glasses in your hands within 10 business days or even faster than that. And even better for every pair of glasses sold, Warp Park will distribute a pair of glasses to someone in need. You can also get prescription polarized sunglasses or non-prescription polarized sunglasses. If you want to take advantage of this offer, go over to WarbeParker.com and use the code flop house. Now use the code flop house whenever you buy anything. Yeah. But especially pro flop house.
Starting point is 00:44:46 If a thing asks you for a code, try using flop house. Try using flop house, especially if it's pro flowers, which you should buy in Warby Parker. You also buy. I, in fact, am wearing Warby Parker glasses at this moment. And you look way better than you should. Yeah. I'm usually kind of a dopey looking fellow.
Starting point is 00:45:03 But now, I'm like Clark Kent. Is this some kind of James dopey looking fellow. But now I'm like Clark Kent. Is this some kind of James Dean character? With glasses? Yeah, he would look at it with glasses. He would look at it with glasses. But now let's move on a little bit to a little all things comedy specific plugin. Take a look at Eddie Pepetone's podcast pep talks a
Starting point is 00:45:27 comedic look at the crumbling of our world Eddie guides us into the apocalypse every Thursday with guest comedians and check them out at Eddie Pepetone on Twitter iconic comedian Eddie Pepetone a cranky but hilarious fellow. And for our personal blog, I made the tent in Yonkers, New York, Plug. We will be doing a live show at the Alamo Drafthouse at 7.30 PM. That's made the tent at 7.30 PM. PM.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Please show up early as the Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers. Sleep lockers. The Drafthouse is tough on late comers, so show up a brewer that 730 in time. No texting. Come by 715 for best results. No talking during the movie. Except from us.
Starting point is 00:46:15 I will be screening, sorry. Stephen King sleepwalkers. Stephen King. Nick Harris. And we'll have an intro by our friends at I love bad movies. And running. Coming from us. Running.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Comment, Erie. Yeah. All laughs aside, guys. I'm looking forward to doing the show. Me too. It's going to be a really fun show. We haven't done a live show in a long time. And I don't know what we're doing another one anytime soon. So get the self to yonkers.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Yeah, with this guy, Justin time for Mother's Day. Nailed down with his beautiful little bundle of joy. Yep. I'm pretty happy with my kitten Dan. Yeah, you're talking about, huh? That's what Dan was talking about. All this is pretty adorable. Moving on to letters from listeners.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Oh, our favorite part of the podcast. It is and here's my favorite part of the favorite part of the podcast. What's that? Letters, letters get out of your feathers Everything's about to get better For the letters as Dan frees them from the letter prison he keeps them in Dan's a cruel letter Would
Starting point is 00:47:17 Dan keeps the letters in the prison all the time that's solitary for you solitary for you to Making the female letters have pillow fights all the time. That's solitary for you. Solitary for you too. Making the female letters have pillow fights all the time and take showers. Dan's a corrupt letter warden. Free them from the letter. It's always darkest before the dawn. Free them from the letter prison so we can read them and reply to them. Get out of that letter prison. Thanks. Good. For this first letter, it's titled, it was kind of short. Castle Freak interrupted.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Just like me. Castle Freak interrupted. I think I can handle this one. Stuart's word. So I don't know if the phrase ding dong is gonna be used. It's from Cody last name withheld. All that the guy from step by step. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Greetings, floppers. After multiple recommendations from Stuart, I, at long last, fired up the internet and took in a showing of Casafrique at my local video streaming service. Thinking at a justifiable precaution, I did so while my wife was still at work. That's the full moon streaming, I would hope. Cosmic vibes aligned such that she managed to return home just as Jeffrey Cones was nose deep in a prostitute. Thankfully I still had my pants on. So the explanation I heard it happened on the front desk. Somehow a satisfactory curiosity about why I was watching this on a week day
Starting point is 00:48:37 afternoon. I have a great wife. Not long. It's part of the Disney afternoon. I swear. A gummy bear was just on. And Tailsman's about to be on. This is the wuzzles. That was a Saturday morning. Okay. Not too bad. Thanks for fact checking me. Yeah, well, if it's about wuzzles, I'm gonna fact check.
Starting point is 00:48:56 All right, not too long after this. There was a half-nigh and a half-be, and a half-elephant, half-what, kangaroo. Yeah, so, the last part refers to animals, but what does the was part mean? Because like, what are those animals? They were animals. What?
Starting point is 00:49:12 Yeah, you check, it checks out. That was part refers to how it was profitable for the toy company. So, Castle Freaky's watching his wife walks in, honey, it's not what it looks like. This isn't a freak who lives in a castle. Not too long after this. The two of us decided to take in reanimator, which he had not yet seen. I mentioned to my wife that Stewart Gordon, I guess.
Starting point is 00:49:40 I mentioned to my wife Stewart Gordon, the author behind Castle Freaky directed this picture as well. Then as Dr. Hill severed head zeroed in on Barbara Crampton's nethers. My wife exclaimed, What? What's the deal with this guy in Muff Diving? She did enjoy reanimator, but now Stewart Gordon will forever be the director that loves Muff Diving. About a week later, my wife spent the evening with a few friends of hers, one of whom had brought a new girlfriend along. And the course of conversation, this mysterious girlfriend revealed that she was in fact the niece of Stuart Gordon,
Starting point is 00:50:12 and shockingly not proud of that. Oh, that's too bad. Unfortunately, thanks to recent mental associations, she couldn't maintain eye contact long enough to ask any probing questions. What Gordon-related encounters with the universe direct our way in the near future? Clearly we've established some sort of comic link. I'll keep you posted. Portially yours, Cody last name with hell. Wow, we got some celebsightings. Yeah, well, I kind of, celebs these sightings. Well, I will write down all my questions in a letter and mail them off to you. So you can ask the niece of Stuart Gordon, like when is the dolls franchise going to continue?
Starting point is 00:50:50 What's Digon like in real life? Sure. Digon, did you say? Yeah, yeah. Like Digon, the painter. What would you say? Digon. Digon.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Digon. He's like, Digon. Peter. What would you say? Daygon. Daygon. He's like, daygon. Yeah, that's if he was trying to be fancy. I see. Um, this next one. Like he was a deep one, and he was putting on a ears. Sure. I got him pressing our little toe.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Make him think I'm educated. Uh, this next letter is Stacey last name with held. He says, Stacey Kepler. Hello boys. I hope all is well with you with the flop house. I would like you to know that you have officially invaded my brain. I had a dream last night with you in it.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Actually, Elliot was mysteriously missing for some reason. Couldn't handle it. Well, not everyone's ready for this jelly. But Dan is sure or there. Mostly Dan though. I won't get into details, but it involved me being in a super pretentious hipster bar in Brooklyn. Sounds like a stress dream.
Starting point is 00:51:54 That was playing videos of Stewart dancing and singing in a tiny speedo on the beach. Okay, that's possible. Dan apparently moving out of his apartment and at one point Dan walking into my house naked Needless to say I greeted him with looking good Dan Even though he was not looking good But he seemed so depressed. I was worried he would kill himself if I revealed how horribly looked I would leave I will leave all the parts in between up to your imagination
Starting point is 00:52:18 But I will tell you that when Dan was moving out of his apartment He was for some reason just carrying all of his possessions from one place to the next on foot and dropping a lot of it in between. I ended up walking behind him and picking up his bowling ball and size 15 worn down old man slippers for him. So bizarre. Anywho, just wanted to say hi and keep on flopping. Were you still naked at that point? That's what I want to know. I guess. All my clothes have been packed. Sure. You guys are awesome and the only thing I enjoy about my commute to work and you make me laugh out loud every day. Keep up the good work and Dan, keep up that bod. XOXO Stacy. Thanks
Starting point is 00:52:54 for writing in Stacy and not letting me into your weird moving slash secretary. And thank you for imagining me so apparently willing to walk down wind of you while you drop bowling balls and whatnot. Downwinds. This is an animal. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that's, that was a very flattering letter, Dan.
Starting point is 00:53:15 How does that make you feel? Do you write that? I did not write that. No. I. What should I say, Stacy comes in that has anything count letter about it, but you assume you must be on top of the world with these new glasses Letters about your bod Where's the letter bag gonna take us next? That's what we call it right letter bag
Starting point is 00:53:35 Letter sack yeah, so this last letter reach deep into the letter bag and pull out a choice Jim Dust off that gym and read it out loud. Polish it nicely. Okay. For the resale. Use a steam, use a steam thing. Okay, now some kind of like steel wool, I guess. You're wearing chain meal, you're orcs and chain meal.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Okay, now it's a creaky door. There's a witch behind it. And a bubbling cauldron. We can't hear that that sounds gross and that's not the right sound you Go stew or Gordon movie here's the sound it would make bubble bubbling bubble This last letter is from David last name with hell. Oh god. This better not Ellie. It's brother Why it's so late. Elliot's brother. Oh, why? It's so late.
Starting point is 00:54:26 It's titled Harold and me. Dear flop casters, my heart was warm. Wait, so is he mod? My heart was warm while listening to the Olympus' Falling episode when Elliot regaled listeners with the epic tale of our first brush with fame at the world premiere of Multiplicity. I think it was the New York premiere.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I don't know, it was the world premiere. However, and listen to Elliot's version. They probably held the world premiere in like Tokyo. I think it was the New York premiere. I don't know, it was the world premiere. However, and Lucy Daly is the first. They probably had the world premiere in like Tokyo, or something. You're right. And Lucy Daly is version of the events. I feel there were some important disparities or clarifying details left out.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Well, thank goodness I'm here to fix that, right? Nope. So since you asked, here we go. First of all, the reason we had taken to the Multiplicity was not simply because our father's connection to the President of Columbia TriStar And yes, they were in fact college roommates But because it was a consolation prize to the family after we've been told we could visit the set of the Brad Pitt
Starting point is 00:55:14 Harrison Ford action film the devil's old own I forgot about that which was scheduled to be filming scenes at Christ Church in short hills, New Jersey at the last minute However, filming for the devil's own was moved from the church and so we're given tickets to Multiplicity to make up for disappointment. As for my lifelong friendship with Harold Ramos, or as I knew him, Harry. That was actually started by Ramos as we walked out of the Ziggfield Theatre where the premiere had been held, and Ramos asked me what I thought of the movie. I told him it was pretty good, and he laughed and walked away. At which point my father said to me,
Starting point is 00:55:45 do you know who that was Dave? It was Egon. Despite being a huge Ghostbusters fan at the time, I was also 10 years old, and therefore did not realize I'd been speaking with the great Egon Spangler. He probably thought Egon was a real person, who was busy Ghostbusting,
Starting point is 00:55:58 collecting molds and fungi at that point. Or maybe he thought Egon had like a blonde pompot over like in the cartoon. Yeah, he might have gone the cartoon version mixed up. After a bus ride to the New York Stock Exchange, which I mostly remember spending watching a couple in their 20s, fiercely making out in the seat in front of me. I remember that too. While our parents laughed, I tracked down Reimus again and asked him what other movies he had directed. Predictions believe this is where Elliott's story runs off the rails.
Starting point is 00:56:23 The movie question that Reimis told me he'd directed, it was not Stewart's Savings Family, which despite being awful, actually got two thumbs up from Cisco and Ebert. But rather, it's Pat, which considering it's reported to best check this out, of $60,822, what's in fact a bomb? Also, I think.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Yeah, the Stewart's Savings Family was a huge hit. That those two thumbs up really made it, it really wrote it, it was the number three movie that year It was the any which way you can of the year of release. Also my response was not that bomb, but actually Oh, that was a bomb. I actually don't remember where I miss mock choking me But I believe it happened Fun side notes that I haven't mentioned sports. How old was your brother at this point like ten? He doesn't fucking remember to use it. He was a kid. Yeah, exactly. He's your stupid
Starting point is 00:57:08 Fun sign notes that I haven't mentioned sports. Is it gonna be something about a sporting event around that time? And that's why he remembers it. Our family visited dad's college for Maiden, California in 1992 Yeah, this is how my brother remembers every date is because what sports thing was going on at the time I remember because the Rams were in the AFC championship. And while we were left in his house to play with his kids, he and our father went to a Los Angeles Kings game and sat in season tickets that belonged to none other than James Cameron.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Lastly, Stuart and person, I'm actually quite charming now that I'm not 10 years old anymore. Thanks for putting up with me, Dan, and Stuart, because I'm Elliott's brother, he pretty much has to love David, Elliott's brother. You know, brothers kill each other all the time. Can't kill Dave. I don't have to put up with him. So, um, yeah, that was nice. Thanks for writing in and regaling us with that adventure story, Dave. I think you're giving me an excuse to check my phone during the book. My version, I think was slightly less accurate, but much shorter. It's called story time.
Starting point is 00:58:06 It's got punch. Got some Hawaiian punch behind it. Yeah, because that's what I drink when I'm recording. So now that we're done digging through our sack of letters. Yep, the letter satchel. Close up those letters in the letter jail. Get back in your cells. I'm down the warden.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Get back in your cells letter jail. Don't make me turn on the hoses. No, no, we're letters. We can't take water. We'll just get all moldy and gross, then it'll be easier to tear us away. I'm really saving you at this point. Get back in there. Get back in. Start hitting any as a riding crop and you start hitting it against the bars. You can just have a thighs with those letters if you want to, but I know what they did. Those animals deserve everything you got.
Starting point is 00:58:43 They're still human being letters, Dan. They have constitutional letter rights. Stuart, do you have a recommendation of a movie? Well, what I recommend is the recommendation segment. This is the new segment. New segment, it's a new segment we've done every episode. We recommend that Dan, that we recommend that Dan properly introduce the fucking segment Instead of just going into without saying what it is
Starting point is 00:59:10 This is the last segment. I have another Saratoga logger, Dan Well, we recommend movies that we actually likes Okay, so as opposed to the movie we just want which we did not like So I'm gonna recommend more like any which way you can't. Am I right? You've been saving that up the whole podcast. Yeah, it was open at a red closure, but I couldn't hold it in. So I'm going to recommend a movie that is currently streaming on cable demand or whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:38 A river runs through it, literally streaming. Or if you're living in LA or New York, you can see in the theater. It's a movie called Blue Ruin, a movie directed by the director of a movie that I recommended a long time ago called Murder Party. It's Blue Ruin is a little revenge story about a homeless guy who finds out that the killer of his parents is released from prison and he decides to take revenge. And it's, I would say deliberately paced, it's patient, it's shot beautifully, there story that really kind of sets. It really takes its time and kind of makes you very aware of where all the actions take place.
Starting point is 01:00:31 And yeah, it's really great. And it's already been loved by a lot of critics. So you've probably heard about it, but you should check it out. What's it called? Blue Valentine. Blue Ruined. I'd like to recommend a movie called I Saw the Devil. Watch the little while back. It's a Korean, where do you see the revenge thriller?
Starting point is 01:00:52 You can see it on Netflix. It's about a cop, kind of a super cop type who has his wife. He's more of a police squad. He's more of a robo cop. This cop has his wife killed by a serial killer and tracks zero killed her down and instead of immediately dragging him in to face justice, he kind of engages him in a horrible cat and mouse game as he kind of engages him in a horrible cat and mouse game trying to make him feel that is horrible. Terrible game. Never works right.
Starting point is 01:01:32 But he wants them to make the field of the same misery that he felt, which particularly backfires on him. You know, it allows the serial killer to sort of turn the tables on him. And of the Korean movies about revenge and there have been many. It's not necessarily the deepest, but it is one of the most gruesome. Not the deepest, but perhaps the creepest. But this is the guy who directed the good, the bad and the weird, which I think he recommended. I recommended that a while ago.
Starting point is 01:02:02 So, yeah, this is a much less fun movie than that, but it's still pretty good movie. It's pretty fun. Well, it's pretty easy. What about it? Why is that guy's the Kelly's tent? And that's hilarious. Yeah, well, I don't know how hilarious. That's my recommendation. Is it my turn?
Starting point is 01:02:18 Yeah, it's your turn. This is the part of the podcast where Ellie gets to recommend a movie. It's called Reca-Kale-Indation. Reca-Kale-Indation. Stop trying to brand your old subsection of this segment. where Ellie gets to recommend a movie. It's called Reca-Kale-Indations. Reca-Kale-Indations. Stop trying to brand your old subsection of this. This is the future. We're all mini-entrepreneurs, and it's about branding.
Starting point is 01:02:31 I gotta build my brand. So anyway, welcome to Kale-N's Corner. Oh, boy. Well, a lot of slow moving down here at Kale-N's Corner. Life goes slow as those who crawl. Clop, clop, clop, clop. Clop, clop, clop. That's my horse and my fully effect guy
Starting point is 01:02:49 Here at down at Kalin's corner and just sitting will and talk about movies This time I'd like to talk about a little movie. I saw recently taking away grandson Kalin. Thanks grandpappy I wish I was joking farewell. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know what that music was like. I mean he did wink and there was a sparkle that came out of it. It's flying that maybe he was a ghost the whole time. Or perhaps a Mr. Miracle type or Mr. Destiny type. The gates of the heavenly house open for a bus. Yeah, Destiny turns on the radio type figure. The wanders in between the cornfield. Destiny turn off that radio. This is my favorite song. Destiny's Child. I have a headache. Anyway, the movie I saw, I this movie I've been wanting to see for a number of years
Starting point is 01:03:35 and I just, we're always never got around to do it and I finally did. It's called, it's called, I'm going Deli-Kartney James Woods, Be Ramanic Leads, what a miss miss pair. But it works, it works. Anyway, it's a Samuel Fuller movie that maybe you guys have seen, I know, called Shock Carrier, about a reporter who is trying to solve a murder in a mental asylum and to do so, he's got to convince them he's crazy,
Starting point is 01:04:03 so he can get put in this mental asylum. So he forces his girlfriend to pretend that she is his sister and that he has sexual feelings for her so that they'll lock him up. And there, there are three witnesses to the murder each with a different psychosis and he's got to get through their psychoses to get to the truth before he goes insane himself. And the insanity of the different inmates are used to make different social political points. It's almost like a couple of different Twilight zones were smashed together inside this mental hospital.
Starting point is 01:04:32 But it's a very, at times, weird exploitation-y type movie but never goes too far in that direction. It's a Samuel Fuller movie. So it's high quality, but it rides the edge of being like a crazy B movie. And I want to highlight in particular the performance of Larry Tucker who is better known as a screenwriter and a producer but we plays the character a fat opera singing character named palyachi and his acting in it is so natural that it feels like we it feels like a little bit like
Starting point is 01:05:04 the movies you'd see with Marlon Brando where everyone else is acting and he's just kind of being and Larry Tucker manages a lot of the scenes to accomplish that where he just seems like this guy who lives in this mental institution and it comes off as very natural. But otherwise it's a fun, tight little thriller movie that's very weird at times and I recommend it. Shock Corridor. little thriller movie that's very weird at times and I recommend it shock corridor. Well guys thanks for sharing the weirdness of Clint Eastwood and Arangutan. There's no two guys I'd rather see Clint Eastwood and Sandra Locke
Starting point is 01:05:35 have a three-some-with-arangutan with them you two. This is the end of our pod crawl. Yeah if you missed the first part again check out we hate movies and their their exhaustive exploration of every which way but loose and why not just check out we hate movies in general yeah man why not we're not we're not we're not jealous I mean you know of what of you, of listeners cheating on us with a bed movie. I don't know, we're open. No, we can kind of into it. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:06:08 It's like watching. I said watch it. Yeah, do it sits in a chair and watches them. Dan sits on the arm of that chair. Listening to we hate movies. Kling King is the ice in his glass. Yeah. It's one of the scenes where you're seeing a chair watching
Starting point is 01:06:20 because you want to see it. But then when it gets too intimate, you like, like you flinch or you pull back, but that's when you feel the most pleasure. That's why I wear a domino mask. So I can shift the domino mask. And someone ends up strangled a death with a tie. It's awful. It's a web of mystery and deceit. Yeah. But until all that starts the false part, it's very sexy. A game of seductive cat and mouse.
Starting point is 01:06:41 Yeah. Which a cat has sex with a mouse. a game of seductive cat mouse. Yeah. In which a cat has sex with a mouse. Mm-hmm. Oh. Oh. But it's called not, not Tom and Jerry
Starting point is 01:06:53 and XXX parody. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for listening to this nonsense. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington. I've been steward Wellington. I've been ashamed, but I'm also elite camera. Can that everyone Into a sexy nurse sexy nurse
Starting point is 01:07:25 I'm a nurse. Do you need some... You're a nurse that's a little naughty. Your doctor prescribed sex for you? Seems almost like... The most straightforward doctor's adventure is episode of... From browsers I've ever seen. I am here for the sex doctor.
Starting point is 01:07:43 That's me. Let's do it, I guess. I prescribed 10ccs of sex. Alright, that's not a lot. Was that like a second? Well, they're getting treatment for sex addiction. Yeah, they're trying to wean them off using sexodone. Don't say wean around a sex addict.
Starting point is 01:08:04 They love that band. They're using sex adone, yeah. Don't say weed around a sex addict, they do. They love that band.

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