The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #159 - Walking with Dinosaurs

Episode Date: August 23, 2014

Thanks to his series of enraged tweets on the matter, we invited comedy writer and pop culture expert Kevin Maher on the show to discuss the enragingly anthropomorphized Walking with Dinosaurs. Meanwhile Dan pervazoids up the Crypt Keeper, Kevin unleashes his dad rage, and Stuart yet again shows his understanding of America's youth.Movies recommended in this episode:Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982)Into the Woods (American Playhouse, 1991)Drinking BuddiesCloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

On this episode we open the door, get on the floor house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm not Elliott Kalen. What the- Oh, I'm sorry. I did not look at this third chair in part now. This Elliott-Kalen disguise worked all too well. I heard it until after the movie to tell you I'm Kevin Mar.

Yeah, well we should... Kevin Mar? Originally, let's be honest here. Originally, this was going to be a forehand or one of the rare forehand floppers. Oh, the rarest of pleasures. But what happened was Elliott was called away. These are the TMI portion of the episode. His child was ill.

Sure. I don't know whether it's too early to call Sammy, the yoko of the flop house. Oh wow. Sammy, flop house, Runaer, Kaelin, yeah. But no, the poor child, ruiner, Kalen. Yeah, but no we The poor poor child we feel bad for him, but I do I hope he's okay. No, I'd yeah, no, I fucking a gum my face More than you're terrible But no, I think it couldn't be your due to family issues. Yeah, luckily. Let's put it that way

We were already gonna to have a guess, so it all worked out well. And Kevin, I would say that we know you from your Kevin Geeks out live show, which all of us have appeared on, still. Yeah, yeah. I was on Sharks. You're Sharks that you did.

You've got jaws. Yeah, my jaws, the Nintendo game PowerPoint thing. Allied, who's not here, has done his Newkeye thing. Kevin Geek said about aliens. Many times. And I appeared on your show talking about when the wrestling brought me here tweeted at me. But in a larger sense, what's about yourself?

Who are you? Why are you in my apartment? I'm a writer comedian who fell into that traffic lane of knowing about pop culture and movies and weird science fiction and horror stuff and then that led to, you know, the more you do it, the more you take on that identity and that's it. Now you're trapped by it. I'm trapped by it. It's like wearing too many sweaters.

But I always say like I was doing, I was hired by AMC to do a web series about science fiction movies called the sci-fi department. And it was always supposed to be this tongue-in-cheek thing of the, you know, the harm of e-shirts I would wear. And I went to Comic Con in one episode and it was called the obligatory Comic Con episode and I go to the press room and the room is filled with all these guys who are gonna be on camera doing this thing

that I'm always kind of like sort of doing a parody of and I'm surrounded by them and it was like, oh God. But now I'm here with them. Oh God, the joke is on me, I've become one of them by doing this kind of valuable persona in this internet world. Like, yeah, it would like big bang very huge, bro. People love that stuff. Yeah.

You know? So yeah, I'm like a Brooklyn grass roots. Yeah, like a big bang theory kind of cool guy. Cool guy, cool dad. We'll get to that. Yeah, you're a cool dad. Yeah, like a big bang theory kind of cool guy cool guy cool dad will get to that. Yeah, you're a cool dad Yeah, like a Liam Neeson. Yeah, I did hurt you inside to make me to hear me make fun of Elliot No, what's fascinating is it's great that having a kid you're gonna be forced to watch so many horrible movies You're gonna at least gonna have to see the smurfs three

movies, you're gonna, Ellie is gonna have to see the Smurf's three, he's gonna have to see so many terrible films, and now his son is actually preventing him from watching tonight's movies. So, which is a movie that you actually saw with your children. My children demanded we see it. They in which Ellie would have hated, but Doug in a weird way, because he is the biggest dime store. He loves the Dino's hours. Yeah, we should say, what movie, we watched tonight, we watched Walking with Dinosaur. but Doug in a weird way because he is the biggest dinosaur. He loves the Dino's hours. Yeah, we should say what we watched tonight.

We watched walking with dinosaurs. Walking with all of the dinosaurs. And there was a lot of walking in this movie. I gotta say, yep, it's aptly named. Probably as much walking as there was dinosaurs. But Stuart, you thought, hey, let's get Kevin on this show.

Yeah, well, Kevin saw with his children and then began a year ago a little less than a year ago and then you you put on some kind of a vigilante garb and began a one-man war through social media against this movie. Oh yeah, it was the most traction I've ever got and now I'm being booked on podcasts and being invited on and it's gonna be my parenthetical. Kevin Marr, hater of walking with dinosaurs. Well though, you're rebranding yourself with this point.

It's such a pleasure for me to finally watch it with other people because it's a thing, anytime you see something horrible, you can go online and you could say, ah, this is terrible and all these people can chime in. I know, right? But it was this unique situation that I saw at opening weekend with my kids.

And I would talk about a horrible, no one had seen it. Right. So it was so isolated. Because we knew. So I just had to keep putting it out there in the world and the world responded. And it was one of those things. People were so amused by my hatred.

They loved seeing me suffer. Talk about it. I love the, I think it tweeted a picture of a guy selling a bootleg copy on the subway. And you were like, good away from me. Yeah, everywhere you look, there's a war in the time. Is that like, it was just like, no, you like, is it only my madness?

Is it just me? Like did you need the confirmation of like sharing and whether you have to share the disease? Are you worried that it close a lot of occupational doors for you? Like do you think you lost a lot of opportunities, dude, here? It totally has the setup that like this guy was up for writing, walking with dinosaur.

Is the South hashtag Sour grapes. But no, I think the reason it hit me so hard was that I've worked in kids' television and kids' movies and I've done that kind of writing. So I'm seeing structurally so many things that pissed me off that I think the casual mom and dad who go to the movies theater, that go to the court street, court street UA,

and have their phones out, and they're not really quite paying attention. There's a local Brooklyn reference about the bad. That's the place you go for audience participation. And bad bugs. And bad bugs. Yeah. That I don't think people were as tuned into

how horrible it was in all the different ways. Because for me, it's not just the movie itself, it's the cultural forces that made this compromise movie where you're watching the notes. We'll get to that well it's you are uniquely prepared to hate this movie. I didn't go into it knowing the reaction I was gonna have you know. Sure. So but before we get into the expecting father we thought hey I like dinosaurs. I got a free Saturday afternoon. Let is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing.

This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing.

This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing.

This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. This is a very interesting thing. Yeah, whatever kids in that Brooklyn drink. Some car kids. Some car kids in all. Ginger beer. Some kind of artisanal child tea. Mm-hmm. If John Hodgeman was here, he would say a moxie, maybe. Okay. But what is this movie? Explain it.

Well, so this movie feels a lot like, I think you described it, Kevin. It feels like they made this awesome museum movie, like a 3D museum movie with dinosaurs. Yeah, your best case, I'm Max Film, maybe. Yeah. It was based on a British miniseries, which was the most expensive BBC production ever made, that it was this lavish CGI dinosaurs in front of Paramulations, but they went to the locations they went to real locations and they filmed it and then they layered it with Dinosaur's little walking down in the most scientifically accurate like

Way that it fell the locations looks so nice and the CGI, they put a lot of money in it. You were saying the flames look sick. Yeah, pretty good flames. I mean, CGI knows how to do flames. Yep. But when it was two-mater video games taught me anything. Yeah. When it was brought to America, they made some changes.

They wanted to reach a wider audience. A little bit of zazz to it. Yeah. And the azil was named John Lakers on. Oh, the pest. He was bugging out. Yeah, you got any more in there? I don't know.

Summer is saying, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Perfect. It's all I got. Yeah, so this movie, Wait, hold on. Hold on. Spawn.

The Vialator in the air, right? So this movie begins a smash cut, no wait, that's... Yes, smash cut to the opening of this movie. Smash cut from black to the opening of walking with that. We have a really cool Jeep being driven by the world's coolest uncle, Zach, the paleontologist, played by Carl Urban. You might know him as Dread, a judge of others. He's the human. He's not the one in the office.

He's the human. He's not the one in the office. I mean, he's got a cyborg leg in that. He's almost human. He's like most of them is human, and then he's got to see it. I'm not worried about his leg. So when you say he's a paleontologist,

I'm thinking he's in some kind of a stiff white lab coat. He's got his hair parted down the middle. Oh my friend. Queen Dexter glasses, right? Yeah, totally some kind of nerd, but no. It's badical. What? Wait, define that again.

Well, it's a common eight. It's a portmanteau. You could buy bad and radical. Okay, but bad isn't good in this case. Bad. Yeah, the kids use bad to make good. That's the type of thing that the audience for walking with dinosaurs would know

because their kids and they're cool. And it's from, you know, there are like, let's get an antidevilian actor to do this. Let's get somebody from down under. Sure. But he knows a possible American accent. Sam Neal. Okay.

From Jurassic Park. You know, like he's the Jurassic Park, Sam Neal stand in, Carl Urban. Okay, I mean, he has a passable American. Like it was a good bones, not from the show bones. From now on. A good, not, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's with the Chanel?

Yeah, no, he doesn't do that. Now, from Star Trek, but I'm sure. So yeah, so he's the cool uncle, he's taking his like sour teenage nephew and very enthusiastic teenage niece. And we know he's sour because he's got the hood up on his hoodie. Okay. And he's not looking up from his mobile device. Yep, screens.

That's shorthand for a teenager, I guess, at this point. That's how you know. Yeah, and he looks like a, I don't know, from the 90s got guy. Yeah, he's got his hair comb forward. He's got a lot of eyebrows, I think. I don't remember. He's got more than an usual number of eyebrows.

He's got like eight eyebrows. So this teenage kid, he is uninterested in checking out dinosaurs He's way too old for that. He wants to I don't know play what Mario Kart. What do they do? Sexting he's Snapchatting Judy touch or whatever kids play what's that thing? And so he is unimpressed by this dinosaur tooth that his uncle shows him

His uncle goes off to look at this dinosaur tooth that his uncle shows him. His uncle goes off to look. That's this dinosaur tooth, the spear tooth, is that? No, that's a mammal, dude. The spear tooth is a super duet time. Manics. No, that's also a mammal. Okay.

So he's on a busy, yep, that was a movie we watched. So Karl Urban, the paleontologist, paleontologist, Zach, heads off to go check out whatever, even digging a hole or something. And the teenager hangs out by himself, totally disinterested until. But wait, before we get to that, the uncle is clearly, they're gonna go on a long hike

and then they're gonna do a dig. And he says, all right, you can just hang out here in front of the jeep. He's just gonna abandon him in the woods. I think he was expecting him to be. Chase after, yeah, he was. I mean, as a non-father, unlike you or Elliot, I feel like as an uncle, I would do that.

I'd be like, all right, you're not coming with me. Stay here with a car. Forge for yourself. I don't think Zach is used to people not being interested in hanging out with him. Yeah, man. He's got a sweet life, Zach does. But he leaves. And then a bird shows up.

Do you think Zach normally takes the ladies out there? That's why it's a, well, he knows the path. Yeah. To the dig. Yeah, and then he takes this checks out. Yeah, the night before he covers up the dinosaur bones. And then they show up. He's like, oh my god, we just found this awesome.

Oh, the toothmatches. Perfect. Spoiler. You probably have sex at top of these bones. And she says, there's one more bone I'd like to see. Yep. One more dinosaur I'd like to see. Yep. One more dinosaur I'd like to walk. What?

Everybody walked the dinosaur. That's what he's saying. Okay, so a bird shows up and just starts talking to this kid. He does it. I'm guessing telepathically because he doesn't, yeah, it doesn't really move his mouth that much. That bird played by John Lake. He's more of a marm-

Marmaduke did that, right? With a mouth and move. Or did he- No, they use CGI for the mouth. Okay. So it's more of an old time. Or maybe not. I don't remember Marmaduke that well.

Okay. I feel like it's like an old time Disney movie situation where the mouth is in move, not a new time. Where they put like, they put peanut butter in the horse's mouth and you get it, you get a good lip chip going. They did not put peanut butter in the fake rapins. Yeah.

Yeah, we just smeared some CGI peanut butter in the CGI mouth. Yeah, but the reason is that it was made as a silent movie and it was after the fact that they're like not the whole thing I imagine the opening was the opening was yeah the opening was it was all One more thing that was to get people excited For this yeah and all for this experience yeah, and a larger sense before we go on like a larger sense We are like two seconds in this movie. This is a movie that was a educational film. That was one point.

Yeah, that did not have words. And don't worry, it's still pretty educational. Maybe it had narration, but it did not have characters saying things, which is all that the rest of the movie has. Yeah, I mean, it feels like somebody took a animated movie about dinosaurs, and then they had like Bob Sagitt from America's Funny, His Home Videos, do voices for everybody, but not as funny. Yeah, they're doing everything that everyone's saying, like Garfield style,

like the word balloons. Sure. Like thought balloons, but you hear what they're thinking. But you can't introduce any new information because if the character is on screen for two and a half seconds, you just have to say like, oh, I'm scared. Where it's just bringing the subtext to the surface.

It's like what you already know is being set out loud for you in funny character voices. That's clear by there. There was quote to round funny there there by the way listeners at home But what I before we pass this so of course this Raven catches this kid's attention because his raven is speaking to his mind Yeah, before we pass over like this Raven That's one way to take a teenager out of their screen for a second am I right parents? Yeah, I have a fucking raven talk to them Yeah, he's like you are you a potent of my death?

God, don't do drugs. God. All right. I can't ever move in. Don't text and drive. God. Don't tell me what to do, Raven. You're not my dad.

But the weird thing to me about this whole framing device of this movie is the idea that this bird thinks that this teenager really needs to learn a lesson about dinosaurs. Like, like, this bird is like pulling a fucking like Christmas Carol. Like, oh, like, your life is going to go off the rails. If you don't learn a lesson about how important dinosaurs are. Yeah, you've seen a flash forward. I mean, this bird has existed through all of time as we're going to learn.

Well, it's just ancestors. He morphs into his own, he goes from being a standard black crow. He morphs into his prehistoric, early bird. Yeah. But like the weird thing about that too, though, is like, you know, like scientists pretty much agree that like modern birds are the ancestors of dinosaurs. But it's not a case in this case where like this bird morphs back into a dinosaur from the past. The bird just morphs to a different more color for bird. A bird with a unibrow. Yeah, that's always codename for a caveman type.

He morphs into a bird with teeth, he retains everything about his sassiness. Yeah, he's got this Latin, John Lank was on the axis. Exactly. Cause I guess he's the man. So this bird that has existed through all times, beginning and end till the world is destroyed, I'm assuming. He, I guess, takes this kid on a mind journey. I don't know what happens. All of a sudden we're in the past.

It doesn't tell us how far he just flies through the air and then all of a sudden there's dinosaurs all over the place. We're assuming the kids following along and not just looking at his phone again. Oh, and at one point, a great twist ending that at the end, the bird finishes a dramatic tale to emphasize how insignificant we all are in the giant endless quilt of history. The kids. Yep, and his best rust coal impression. At the kids. The little spots of light in the dead end.

The kids playing bubble-bobble. Yes, sure. Well, you can get that on your mind. I thought I would. I kids playing bubble-bobble. Yeah, sure. Well, you can get that on your mouth. Yeah, I thought I would. I would love bubble-bobble-bobble-bobble. I feel like. Oh, a wishful thing. Oh, yeah, and before this happens, I guess,

I mean, I think the catalyst here is the kid picks up that dinosaur tooth, and it starts to glow like through the cracks in the tooth, like there's magic inside. Now we're in the past, okay? Maybe that's like a magic tooth. We'll find out later. So we're in the past, okay? Maybe that's like a magic tooth. We'll find out later. So we go to the past, we're introduced to

what type of fucking dinosaur are they? I don't know, I do. Didn't what do you guys have? That's your rhinosauras. Pachy rhinosauruses that look like triceratops without all the horns. Yeah, they're triceratops without horns, bigger nose. They're not your daddy's triceratops.

Yeah. And we're introduced to a baby, the run to the litter. Pachi, Pachi, what's his name? Pachi. Pachi. Pachi is offensive. Pachi. Pachi, not offensive.

Yeah. So Pachi, named, I'm guessing after his species, is played by Justin Lawn. He's the run to the litter. And he gets into some adventures right away. He doesn't get any of his mom's vomit food. He gets attacked by another dinosaur that is described to us by a disembodied little girl voice.

Yeah, whenever a new dinosaur appears on the screen, there's a freeze frame. The Latin name of the dinosaur comes up. Little girl says what the dinosaur is. And this is like the vestigial like tale of the educational part of this movie. Like it's the webbing between the fingers. Yeah it's the one part that's just like hey maybe you want to know what these dinosaurs actually were before we anthropomorphize them into like they might as well be in Madagascar animated film, you know. You are doing a disservice to Madagascar right now.

I know I think that I probably would have enjoyed watching Madagascar more than. It's what I imagine those direct to DVD Madagascar cop-cat films are like, you know. What do they call, what like Tasmania?mania no I guess that's actually a thing murder gas car nope that's the horror movie one of you welcome to my dinner party one of you lemurs is about to die you You've just ingested poison. So some fucking other dinosaur attacks patchy and gives him his trademark hole in his frill. And he's got the little frill like a triceratops puts a hole in it. Now we can identify him from all the other dinosaurs that look like the same. Like the same. Like the same. Like the same. Like the same.

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There's only CGI dinosaurs. You're not walking with the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were walking with each other. Yeah, they're learning to eat. There's a lot of poop jokes up top. Poo-pim-barp jokes, right? Yeah, to make sure the kids are interested. Yeah.

Patchy gets pooped on by a much larger dinosaur and they get a lot of jokes out of that. Yeah. I'm sure you saw this in a theater full of, I'm assuming very excited children and they were totally in. Oh, no. Oh, no.

What would they have been more excited to see? What do you know? Was there something else out at the same time? Yeah, do you think they were like, keen or on, but their parents were like, this is educational, we're gonna take you to work. But it's educational, we're saying it's like, it's educational as like the healthy choice

the way McDonald's would give you apple slices, where it really, this is not the place to go for healthy options and educational. It's like Apple slice is covered with caramel and hot fudge. And a kid gets to say, well, this is the healthy choice. Any, whatever. Fight them in water. It's just sugar water.

Yeah. The sugar's a vitamin, bro. It's a vitamin there. But at the same time, it's like, no, no, this is a hip cool movie with a lot of wise-cracking dinosaurs. It's just like, and a soundtrack to the adults are gonna get into. It's true, that's what we're getting at later. That's like the rock soundtrack.

So we're introduced to our hero, Patchy, his brother who's like big and tough, but not very smart. Skylar? What's his name? Skylar. Skylar. Well, that was his brother who's like big and tough, but not very smart. Skylar was named Skylar. Scowler. That was his brother? Yeah. Who do you think, like, you thought it was his best friend or something?

I just thought it was another dinosaur. Dinosaur, I didn't know there was an intro. It's the classic jerk older brother. You know, the movie, exactly. The movie is drawing upon a lot of good, like kids movie archetypes. Buzz from Home Alone, Bill Paxon from Weird Science. Similar, and he does tell the female dinosaur he'd like to butter her mouth.

We're jumping ahead because there is a female dinosaur, the love interest, Juniper, named after the thing they eat. I guess. Yep. We'll get to eating that dinosaur later. He falls in love with her, Panci, that is. Then they go on a big migration. She can't be with Panci because she's part of a different tribe, classic story, catapult and Romulans or whatever.

Romulan patchy story. Upworld down the morphales. Sure, yep. And they have to go south because shit's getting cold. And then somewhere in the process, there's a big storm. The forest catches on fire from lightning

and it's a real bambi situation they got a run out of the fire forest but the fire was caused by a bunch of torrentosaurus rexas or something no it was lightning okay uh... lightning that struck the ground okay when i have a t-rex start of the fire so smoking yep

the balloon filled with caracene and a time released alarm clock. So the fire begins. The R-Hero and his family get separated. His, the hero's father saves his life only to be murdered by a dinosaur. Because Pachi and his brothers dad, they had the dinosaur who was the leader of their tribe.

Because he was like the head guy on their pack. Even had a name though, I don't remember what it was. And he totally got murdered in front of their eyes. Which, you know, that's traumatizing, but it's also character building. But John Leggazama sets you up in the narration, he says, every story always says a scary part. Now it's time for the scary part, you know,

they're trigger warnings for children who've survived forest fires. You can send your child out into the lobby where they can not have to witness this. But you can't get an app. It's fine. Don't worry about it. That's the scary part.

It's really cool. So after this, it turns out that Juniper's father, kind of they like the two tribes marry into each other. They're a little bit come out of the mouth. They may not. And Juniper's father, I don't know, Slammo, what's his name, Dragonface? Yeah.

Yeah. Awesome sauce. He takes charge of the tribe. They, man, this is where it's gonna get rough. They start wandering around. We're introduced to the villains of the movie at this point, which is a Gorgazor. Gorgazor's film was so hot.

A giant blue dot. A lot. Itorgazons. This film was so popular. A giant plot. It's hard, it's really hard to do the plot somewhere because he could re-swrite through it. And it seems like there'd nothing happened. But for us, it was just, yeah, it's like a mumble-gloved movie down down. Oh, shit.

We were walking with those. It's a mumble-sor movie. Eh? All right, I don't know. It's not mumbled soar movie. Yeah. Eh? All right, I don't know. I don't know. It's not here. I gotta make that kind of joke. Yeah.

The Duplasa Sores is. We're really good in this. Yeah. So you got one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So then we're introduced to the villains of the movie.

They look like Tyrannosaurus Rexes, but they're called Gorgosaurus. One of them's blue. He's, I guess, the big bad. He's like the white orc from the Hobbit movies. And he's just necessary. He, in the other carnivores, chased the tribe of dinosaurs into up against the river. into up against the river, and then the baby dinosaurs fall into the river. That includes our hero, Pachy, Juniper and his brother, Skyler. They go row.

They go floating down the river for a while. And in an exciting scene where, you know, you're getting CGI water on the cameras. You're getting CGI water on the camera lens. We get some light and fast boards. We get some light and fast boards about whether Patchy intentionally dove into the river or just fell.

And this is coming hot on the heels of some hilarious jokes about how the bad guy dinosaur has tiny ineffectual knowledge. And then you got to understand this whole movie, if you've read, I think it was Penn Oswald wrote about how he, as a stand-up comic, was paid to come in on an animated movie to just come up with ADR gags. Punch up the script. Yeah, punch up the script.

They've already done the animation. Maybe someone can yell from off screen, that would be funny. And the whole movie is that. This whole movie is that. Like, there were like, oh, it doesn't matter whether anyone's talking at the time. And you could use, even if you come up with a sensible good character driven bit, it's like, what the character only appears on screen for three seconds. So the joke has to fit for the three seconds that we see the bird or whoever. And there's a short and sweet, which means in order to go for those jokes, they're kind of like throwing any kind of continuity out the window where Apache compares himself to an ninja. Yeah, which is ridiculous.

They refer to future events that the dinosaurs couldn't possibly know about. They acknowledge that they're telling a story in a movie. I mean, the whole thing, it just, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's as we the audience know that it's not the case. Any gag that relies on the irony of a person in the past, saying something about the future, that we in the future know not to be true is always hilarious. But it's weirdly the difference that it gave us some kind of like early 90s gag you'd have,

I just got this new CD by Millie Vanilli these guys really are the real deal You get the joke at all. I'm like why is this cabbie telling me the story You're making because that joke is awesome But the difference being one character being embarrassed by the Millie Vanilli Reveal compared to an entire species dying and becoming extinct. The hero of your movie, the hero of your kid's movie is making a joke not realizing he's going to die and everything life is going to die.

My actions are meaningless. Everything I do is edipactual. We are all dead in the end. Nothing but death. I look into the eyes of the dinosaurs and I see nothing. Yes, you're nothing but- I think we can all breathe. There's not half a food.

I think the entire time I think we were hoping the John Lake, like, was on, I had been replaced with Werner here at the end. Werner here at the time, right before the end. Yeah. I hope the DVD has, like, audio options. That would be- Yeah. Yeah. Like, honestly, I hope the DVD has like audio options. That would be like, I would honestly, I would buy that.

If that was the solution they came up with, rather than having John Lake, was a lot more, they were like, we don't need to hire John Lake, we don't need him to hire Justin Long, we don't need to hire all these other known- people that we rounded up the cast with, just get Werner Herzlug to come in and do a shitload of voices.

Yeah. Play all the characters are my whole wins load I have a little dinosaur. Oh no, I've fallen into the river. This is terrible for me. She likes me and she likes my horn She likes the hole in my horn which matches the hole in my heart so um is a hole in my horn, which matches the hole in my heart. So, where were we at? I don't know. I think they're in the river now. They call it a river.

A little girl's voice over identified a dinosaur during a freeze frame. And back to the plot. Our heroes are out of the river. They wander around in the woods for a little while. I think they beat up on some smaller dinosaurs. Then they reach the coast where they are introduced to some giant dinosaurs. They're very hungry.

This is where the giant dinosaurs walk up and they play Fleetwood Max Tusk. Which is probably my favorite part of it. I think Dan got up and did a little dance. I like this song. Tusc. I can get behind that. So I guess they meet up with the rest of their tribe. I don't remember what happens. Yeah, the movie jumps forward. Yeah, and that's when we do a big jump forward where we...

Rats style. Yeah, wait, except they don't tell us how they don't really tell us how far. Guys guys, let's uh, let's Like I said, they don't tell us how they don't really tell us how far. Guys, guys, let's, let's, let's, let's track the character arcs here. Patchy and Juniper are kind of, they're becoming a little more than friends. He's, she's really warming up to him. They're surviving together. His big brother took off, abandoned them, left them in return to the tribe. So the two of them were on their own, and I think he brought them a little bit closer. Yeah, Juniper is not a girl and that you had a woman.

I know that's true. Yeah, but you know, he's kind of in the friend zone, but at some point, he's hoping that he'll, you know, he'll be able to, I don't know, do with her, what do they, like they mate, what do they become, mate for life, what's, how did dinosaurs do it, Dan? I don't know like like a

Humping no, I don't need to know that but like do they get married or they Monogamous soars got married it was a beautiful it was a beautiful ceremony They got flower teradans Yep, I and drop flowers from the sky Territons. Yep, I dropped flowers from the sky. You got a best Raptor. I'm a buzzer after. I was out of the groom's eye. Good broads. I'm Pins. A Brontosaurus voiced by a Brontosaurus wedding planner voiced by Jennifer Lopez for the adults.

That's great. Traditional dinosaur wedding. That's great. Traditional dinosaur wedding. That's how it works. Some kind of a dinosaur rabbi character. Performing the ceremony. Kulkanat. Sure. They have Anna Kulkanat.

Okay. So yeah, fast forward, we have a, we have older dinosaurs. They look basically the same, but I guess they're bigger. This is where we're introduced to the challenge for dominance between two males, which involves ramming each other's heads together until one gives up and the other ones the leader. Skyler takes over the tribe after a bunch of headbutts and then I

Guess that means that Juniper is his girlfriend now. Yeah, he's Juniper's dad. I don't yeah, and she's she really has no reaction to that They're totally together. I was just defeated by By her best friends big and then he basically exits the movie. No, no, no, no, this is dinosaur law though, like the toughest dinosaur gets the lady. And so we can only assume that like Scowler and Juniper are like doing it for a while. Marika, you got it.

Yeah, I mean, there's probably pictures on the internet somewhere that go to DeviantArt. I gotta say, like Scowler was kind of my favorite character in the movie, because he had that point in the movie for a while, and he is like such a poochie character. Yeah, very good tinpot dictator of dinosaur. Totally radical.

He's like a radical dude. And, but, you know, we're supposed to. No, but I like that we, earlier in the movie, just because he has like an attitude, at least he has some personality. So earlier in the movie just because he has like an attitude at least he has some personality so earlier in the movie our hero Panshee and his brother witnessed their father after saving their life get devoured by a dinosaur later on juniper's father gets defeated in the challenge for dominance and then that character disappears we don't see that care her dad ever again nor does she mentioned yeah after that point

she doesn't care anymore. Yeah, he goes off to die in the dinosaur graveyard. Which is the entire world, apparently. But up until that point, she was juniper- For Carl Urban Defined and then used as a means to boning ladies, I guess. And impressing nephews. Um, but that, I mean, like, Scaler takes over for a while and then... That's when the movie gets a little exciting.

We got, uh, so a lot of it is them walking back, like, north to south. Or north to south to north. Yeah, they have to be in migration. So it gives you a natural plot device. Exactly. And at one point, uh, Skyler leads them in the wrong direction. They go over a frozen lake. Keep saying Skyler, like, it's fucking Walter White's wife

and breaking bad. Uh, you bring, you bring, it's literally name. I think it's very, it's a very bad guy. It's very name, Scowler. It's very, what's in this to my, to my jokes. Scowl. Now, which came first, the name, Scowler or the Scowl? I know.

Yeah. They're damning him by naming him Scowler. Scowler. Just like by naming Pantee. After their entire race, of course, he's going to be the hero of the story. I'm sure there. Well, I always find that strange in any kind of kids' thing.

It's always like, oh, my name's Joe Gorilla. This is my mom, Mrs. Gorilla. It's like everyone just had your last name. But like then, how do you distinguish yourselves from the thousands of other people? How does Joe Gorilla. It's like everyone just had your last name. But then how do you distinguish yourselves from the thousands of other people? How does Joe Gorilla distinguish himself? I don't know. Is he this hardest gorilla in the truck?

There is a baseball cap backwards. By the way, he writes a razor scooter. Okay. Does he save them from poachers or? Oh, I don't know. We're writing this story now. This is reminiscent of something that I asked Elliot reason I came into work.

I'm like, something just occurred to me about Star Wars. So, job of the hut. Hut is the type of creature he is. Because they're other huts. They're other huts. So, that would be me being like, my name is Dan the Human. Yeah. What kind of fucking name and convention is that?

Terrible. It seems a little weird. It's as though it's introduced in your name for a third party to witness your adventures Who's not I would say you're not familiar with my race. My name is job of the hut. Is that your actual name? Let's just say it is Job of the hut. Is that your actual name? Let's just say it is. I Mean I'm assuming it's like a Jimmy the Greek sort of thing though. That's what that's what Elliott said But like we are there are other hot same there are other hats. Yeah, I don't think I'm not calling

Mar though. There are other hats out there who are not like in like the organized crime Game isn't there I think Do we ever see other a I think every one of the Clown Wars, that Clown Wars movie, there's one with like a bunch of makeup on. Yeah, I mean like, Lissor's right in to tell Kevin what the name of about the expanded universe here. I don't know if that's expanded. I mean, I think it's canon if it's in a movie, it's just animated. It's not like fucking Timothy Zon wrote it.

It just seems weird. It seems like a weird way to like introduce yourself to anybody. But it's Chubaka the Wookie and we know there's a whole race of Wookie's and they have a plan. Yeah, he's not like, Ken should just fill to the pardon me, I don't shoot up Chubaka the last year. For all we know, that's what those sounds mean.

Okay. That's a fair way of. I think't think that's a fair way of it. I think it was true. I think it was true. We have a solid difference again. If it was Chubaka T. Wookie. A classic, a little initial. Jaba T.

While E. Coyote. Anyway, let's get back to the stage. It's a Dain for Excellence. He's an excellent Coyote. Not based on performance. But he can talk sometimes true depending on the character. That's actually pretty excellent. And he can order things. I mean he's got a job filling out magazine. It's a catalog. It's all mail fraud. That's his real skill. I guess that's excellent.

He should stick to that though. He should stop trying to kill that rhodor on it. So, okay. So, Pachean Scholar getting a couple fights. Scholar takes over the tribe again. Pachean almost gets eaten by a bunch of scavengers. He realizes that he's in love with Juniper and she gives him the power love,

which allows him to feed scavengers. Because at one point he gets, he's in a fight where a Scowler knocks a tree down, and when Patchy falls into a ditch, the tree kind of goes over his neck, just burry, just trapping him. There is no way out. He is stuck there.

His brother leaves him there to die. It's like when you get caught in the guillotine or produce the barber beef kegs headlock. Right? But a log that's never gonna get tired. And in all of this, Juniper's always like, sorry, it's the rules. So it's like on the one hand,

on the one hand, you have the idea that Paji is all about the true love that empowers him to do whatever he needs to do. And she's like, look man, let's not rock the boat. Where are you fucking robot, Juniper? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's sad. Two minute or one man leaves. That's the way Don is. That's the brakes, bust the deal. Spend the wheel, come on, patchy. When you walk with Don's doors, you know the deal.

So patchy then, he rejoins the tribe. Well, he gets super powers of love because the bird gives him a flash back to his own father's death and he says, Pachi, your father died for something. If you're going to die, let your death have meaning, which gives him the power to get out from under the log, race by all the previous bullies, not unlike Jodi at the end of Phantasm, encountering bug and the lady in Lavender and all the characters. He's met a long way that Pachi now has the confidence to run right by with just enough screen time

to get a quick stand-up camera. I'm a great online listener. Out of my way, moving jerks, stuff like that. In a way, he's become the thing he hates, a bully. He really is. He's bullying those trees. What I like is that flashback, reminding him that love, you know, he's in. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is who just plain died. Wait, do we find out what happens to his mom? Does she die? She gets baked alive.

They never give it a moment's notice. They never give it any attention. What are the great, what are the great travesties of this movie? The great crimes, the screenwriter perpetrated is by not telling us what happens to Dino. This will be, does not pass the bechtel test.

I'm walking with that. Wait, wait, no, yeah, you're right. What? Wait, that's no, yeah, you're right. It doesn't, it's not. Wait, that's a bit. Yeah. So anyway, the point is, love conquer's all, et cetera.

No, I mean, the point is, then he meets up with Juniper, he's about to tell her that he loves her. And I guess she's into, she'll be into it, I don't know. She's really, she's kind of a stickler with the rules. She's irrelevant. Doesn't matter. The girl's feelings. Not important. It's all about his journey and his quest and his ability to articulate how he feels about the girl. Exactly. Dino's odd. He's a run to no more. Yeah. So we, right

then, the the herd gets attacked by that same fucking blue asshole and his other Gorgazores. With their dinosaur swords. First off, you're referencing the property dinosaur swords that I've been working on featuring robot cowboys dueling in the future using dinosaur swords led by, of course the hero Dusty Sprockets. And- And- Apologize. So- Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

Copyright. Yeah, exactly. It's Copywritten. We've talked about you using this pet-and-troll character. Rather, he not show up again. So Dusty bought- wait, no. Sorry, I got really excited about dinosaurs. The point is, everything turns out fine for our hero.

But given the choice between leaving Scowler to die, so he can lead the tribe himself and go off with the woman of his dreams. Dinosaur. Dinosaur, woman of his dreams. He does decide to stay and defend his brother who's been just an asshole. There are the whole movie. Who's left him to die multiple times.

I mean, the only thing his brother's done is he sacrificed himself for the tribe, which is what any good leader should do. Right, right, yeah. But Patchy says, turn that scale upside down. I, Patchy's like, I could leave you to die, but I'd rather you live forever in shame as I am now going to defeat this guy and become the leader of the tribe and be with your girl again.

But then, so they, you know, like, they're all happy together and then we flash forward back to the future where, like, the teenage is like, I was wrong, dinosaurs are awesome. I've learned my lesson. He's like the best part about Batchy is that he and everybody he knows is dead. I've learned my lesson based on this one, the anthropomorphized dinosaurs that I guess really existed in the past. And his magic bird friend. And he realizes that the Toothie holds is one of the Tooth of that blue ass wipe who got his

fucking teeth knocked out by Patchy's forehead because he matches that broken Tooth up to a jawbone that... It's the missing piece. That paleontologist Zach has unearthed the show off in front of his kids. Probably unearthed for the first time, I'm sure. And then John Lake was on, I was just more fucking jokes, flies away than disappears, because his work is done. Like you've got an magic ghost.

And then a dinosaur burst through the screen, which probably was pretty awesome when it's done in 3D. This whole thing was in 3D. I mean, if you're gonna end the movie any way, end it with a dinosaur bursting through the screen. This whole thing was in 3D. I mean, if you're gonna end the movie any way, end it with a dinosaur bursting through the screen. I'm like, look, I'm gonna argue with anything in this movie that's gonna be the last thing.

Yeah, we've talked a long time. We should move straight to final judgments whether this was a good bad movie or bad movie. I think I know what it's gonna be. A movie you kinda liked. Dan? I'm good, oh yeah, sure, I'll be. I would be kinda like, uh... Dan? I'm good, oh yeah, sure, I'll start. I feel like, look, if I had kids, and I don't,

but if I did, I wouldn't necessarily like hate this compared to the other shit that kids could be watching, because I've seen some of the terrible shit that kids can be watching. However, two girls, one cup, et cetera. Yeah. The animated, the animated children's version

of two girls, one cup. But this, as an adult, this impurities me. This like weird hybrid of supposed edutainment and just total bullshit nonsense, like bad, sub-shrek level reference comedy. Yeah, I did not like this movie at all. It's a bad, bad movie. One of you can go.

Yeah, so it was a bad, bad movie. They didn't, so it was so clearly that they added the dialogue. Afterwards, you don't even see any dinosaur lips moving and they don't make any effort to distance, the, add any distance to the vocals. So you don't know, there's like, there's no levels to the sound.

So it just sounds like a bunch of voices are yelling in your ear. The only time they modulate the sound is when the giant dinosaurs are walking past and the Fleetwood Maxong fades out into the distance along with them, like they're carrying a boombox. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a bad, bad movie.

I guess it's a good punishment movie if you want to punish your kids. I don't know the kids would see it as punishment. Mike has been fine to be punishment. They seem to enjoy themselves on some level. Okay. Me, it was exactly to your point, Dan and that it tries to get the bust of both worlds by being this sort of like, in the spirit of a dream works comedy,

it's got all these elements, and I think it does not succeed on that level. It also tries to give you a little bit of science along the way. You'll learn a few things, but not a little bit of Apple in the middle, which actually get a preschool college credit or what have you to actually, you know have any real takeaway

So it's it's worse than some of the things I've seen because it's like even if you see some horrible Christmas special that's like oh well that that simply was Not doing one thing and that was not entertaining this was not doing multiple things at once I thought it was incredibly condescending. I just, it's one of the most, it just makes me so angry. So it'd be, if you're going to, if you want to punish an adult, you can show them this movie.

Which we just made you do a second time. Yeah. Thanks. But moving on. So the next segment is letters, letters from listeners. Thanks. Wait, it's too early. Is there a song? There's no song because Ellie, it's not here. So you want to call them? Do you want to, we do a dialect? Probably could do it over the phone, but I don't. But then we have to put, we have to learn, we have to listen to the call. That's the problem. We

have to actually listen to the song. Yeah, listen to that. to actually listen to songs. Let's pretend that there was a song here. Yeah, I'm just plugging and just turn on your iPad. iPad, iPad and play a letter song. Guys, pause the tape right now. It's a tape, right? Pause it and make up your own letter song. And then imagine that I'm saying, well, that letter song.

We should do is record it and then email it to Elliot, because he loves letter songs. He loves them so much, but the first letter goes like this. I recently attended a screening of the 1983 version of law, Traviata. It was pretty good. If nothing else, it at least makes you appreciate why Placido de Bingo became a Megastar. But ultimately, it is too flawed to be considered truly great. This experience can't be thinking that as far as I know, no really good opera movies have ever been made. Zepperelli made some nice tries, Bergman's version of the Magic

Flute is as good as a temp, as I can think of, and Kenthe Brano's version of the same play, and Casper Holtin's version of Don Giovanni are decent attempts from recent years. But none of them could be said to be really good movies, and of course, all of the ones that are just plain bad. Can you guys think of another type of movie, which has been attempted frequently, but has never been done just right? Martin Lastname withheld. PS, in case you're wondering which character each of you are in my non-existing flop house

opera crossover fanfiction, Elliot is figure-o from the Barbara of Seville, always making jokes and getting into trouble. Stu is John Giovanni, obviously, popular with ladies and always hanging out with supernatural creatures, and Dan is sick-freed, pervy, but ultimately a good guy. I just realized in reading this that I selected all of these letters, not realizing that Elliot would not be here, because Elliot is the guy

who is an actual opera if you know how he goes to the opera. Yeah. So the three of us are not opera. Well, I don't know anything about rock operas that have been translated to the screen properly. I don't know if that's properly. I think Tommy is a little garrish.

Sure. We think a Phantom of the Paradise. Phantom of the Paradise, yeah. The opera within the opera in some of these, within Amadeus, sure. But that was not built for film. No, but in a larger sense, I guess the question is really like, is there a genre or a type of movie that has been tried? Well, I think I've ever, I think what we have to pay attention to is that the opera already existed in a previous medium,

so it's an adaptation. I know the trading card genre has been attempted a couple of times with the garbage pale kids and Mars attacks, haven't gotten dinosaurs attacks. Clue is a board game. Turn to movie. I thought that was great. But no, but it's great.

But it's great. But I'm just trying to think of other adaptations. Well, I think video game movies is very, very, and that's probably the closest thing. Yeah. Shit, I don't know. Super Mario Brothers. Super Mario Brothers.

The finest of them. The legend is all the movie they came out with, right? The Cubert film. That's pretty good. I remember when they were pitching, when they were pitching that Doom movie and they're like, oh, there's this great section of first person shooterness also featuring Carl Urban. Not a good movie.

Big surprise. Turns out that it's not actually exciting just to see someone's hands in front of them with a gun walking around corners. Yeah, not as exciting as when you're not controlling anything. Yeah, I mean, I think that people should have been able to realize that that's not exciting from the experience of watching another person play a first-person shooter, which is a common experience. I mean, I think that people should have been able to realize that this is not exciting.

From the experience of watching another person play a first person shooter, which is a common experience. Yeah. The experience of that is usually like, okay, can you give me the controller now? Could I get on? No, no, no, you're gonna fuck up my save file. No, just let me show you how to kill this a bobo or whatever. But moving on, this next letter is titled Read the Crypt Keepers Genitals. Dear Flop House, I was reasonably catching up on some old episodes and came across a discrepancy that demands exploration and potentially steward's immediate termination with prejudice. During the Dreamhouse episode from 2012, during a discussion of the cryptic universe' privates, Stewart, rather definitively stated that the cryptic universe, Genitalia, was perfectly preserved

and looked like, quote, a beg begging strip that you give your dog. Further discussion was short-circuited by Mr. McCoy, giggling like a schoolgirl from, were 38 uninterrupted minutes. Less than a year later, discussion again turned into this vital question of science. During the letter section of Attack of the Clones, a Scandinavian lists her, asked her to describe

a warmy boner. Stuart responded that a Warmy boner is a Curlycue, like a pig's tail, then claims that the Cryptkeeper had a Warmy boner. Unless the Cryptkeeper's flaccid pervert's preserve penis transforms into a Curlycue. When he becomes aroused, this makes no sense. Dead derites, they don't verify. not verify Dan last name with held not McCoy Oh wow, Dan you got me One of the one Chris there's more than one version of the crypt keeper. There's the comic book. There's the team Thank you B.O. Series. There's the animated series Kevin is my representation here, I guess I also don't understand

I mean like the first time you don't state. I mean I think it could have been a flaccid penis we were talking about earlier. And when the boner, boner style it could spin around. Like it could show up. I mean now I don't think it spins around. It turns into like a corkscrew.

Yeah. I'm not saying it like does the fucking break dance. The boner. Yeah like a a fucking break dance. The boat. Yeah, like a pinwheel or something puts down some cardboard. You're like a guy wearing a bow tie who gets sexually turned on. Yeah. I know. Well, I think you got me.

I was, I was probably wrong. I think, I think the real answer is it looks like a bully stick that you feed your dog, which is a dried bull's penis that looks basically like a slim gin. I think the important thing is that any ladies out there who have slept with the crypt keeper need to write in, and let us know what his junk is like. First hand, we need a primary source on this. Or, or fellas.

Sure. I, yeah, we don't know. Yeah, well, yeah, it's, and no judgements, man. Yeah. We're pro. This is science. Cryptkeeper marriage. Or, or, or, or not marriage. Maybe you just, yeah, having fun. Yeah, nice.

You want to, you want to be able to tell your friends just two corpses Crypt keep doing what? Which is what's to do doing what your body wants? So I hope that helps you I think that probably answered the question. Yeah, I think that's 100% What would be great to sleep with the crypt keeper to get the pun when he's finished. Make it all worthwhile. I thought I'd give a dog a bone. Oh man.

It's an unattractive woman that he just slept with. Oh, context is everything. I don't know whether I'm coming or decomposing. So this letter is from Lawrence last name withheld. He writes. He writes. Deer floppicannus, efficacy. Your your name if you were a hominid fossil so you guys have Fairly it is in practice

You guys have fairly it is in Cratic-tasting films Elliott loves old terrible movies and doesn't seem to give a shit about quality so long that are in black and white That was a sick burn and also the only explanation Luckily he's here to here to hear it. Yeah, and that's fucking cry, dude. So thanks. Yeah The only explanation of his love of the old dark house now I gotta say I will in the absence of Elliot I watch the old dark house. I like the old dark house Dan apparently just loves legitimately awesome movies. Hey, Dan, Miss 45 just got the draft house treatment. Also, I love you as much as one straight dude

can love another. Well, thank you, Lord, for that thing with hell. And Stuart seems to go for tits, gore, and despair. I ran a matlab simulation. It is literally the only criterion that includes head of the family and beyond the pines. So what movie review sites do you guys legitimately trust? For me it's 1000MismanHours.com which may not be amazing but strangely syncs with my tastes,

but I'd love to know where you guys go to pick movies, yours Lawrence last name with held. I mean I think we've all talked about aren't you I'm the dissolve. Yeah, I mean, I think we all agree. Well, that one obviously pick. For horror movies, I often, I'm making effort to check out the arrow in the head, which is a Canadian horror movie review site, and it's been going for a really long time. I don't always agree with the reviews, but I mean, he does break down whether or not there's a lot of Gore or TNA. So that's, you know, that's the important part. I need to know what is going to be in Wishmaster 3 before I watch it. Yeah. Kevin? Oh, I like the

dissolve a lot. I'll use a so called daily grindhouse. They got a lot of good reviews up there and keep me current with what's what's new what's coming out. What I'm not going to be able to see for a long long time because it's rare that I get a chance to watch a drive-in type grindhouse movie at home. My kids it's seven o'clock time for bed I got everything it's a small Brooklyn apartment. You can't put on my I had to turn off psychomania the music was too scary. Scary music. I got everything. It's a small Brooklyn apartment. You can't put on my, uh, I had to turn off psychomania. The music was too scary. Scary music.

I got to get some, want some of those headphones. I, uh, when it comes to critics, um, I don't know, I like, I, like David Edelstein, uh, New York magazine. Um, I don't necessarily always agree with her, but I find Stephanie Zikariak interesting to read. I don't even know whether I'm saying her last name, right? But I think that she has a unique take in the movies. I like critics who have kind of a idiosyncratic sense of taste. Like, I don't know.

Like, I feel like the worst critics are the ones who are 100% in line with kind of the conventional wisdom all the time. Yeah. Like, you prefer more of an arm and white sort of thing. And I don't want to troll. Glenn Cainey is always interesting. People who build a Bury at Vulture, he's like that.

Yeah, yeah. People who's like, someone who like, you can tell has an intelligent and specific point of view. They're fun to read even if you don't always agree. I hope that answers your question somewhat. But the last letter of the night is from Patrick Lasting with Held, who writes It's from Patrick Lasting with Held, who writes, Pachy? Pachy with dinosaur? He says, recently I fell asleep while re-listing to the Star Wars episode 2 podcast. Not a judgment on you wonderful guys.

I sometimes listen to podcasts when I'm feeling panicky at night. Because of this, I had a very strange dream about Elliot. The dream was that Elliot was the size of a Star Wars figurine, and he requested that I place him in the cockpit of very Star Wars vehicle models. When I complained, he would make Star Wars noises while pretending to pilot the ship, then eventually request that he be moved to another model to do the same thing again. He pretended to do this inside an X-wing, a tie fighter, and the Millennium Falcon.

I do not know what this dream means exactly, but I was glad I could help dream Elliott, achieve his goals, and see really passing, Patrick Glass named the help. In the comedy's graduation of this, the letter ends with, and when I woke up, I was covered with chafed marks all over my penis. I had an inverted Hasbro imprint on the head of my penis. What is it me? I've been fucking the Millennium

Falcon. I'm not saying this guy did this. I'm saying in the absurd, you know, in the tradition of I dreamt I was eating a giant giant marshmallow kind of bazooka joker. Sure. I feel like this... I feel like this... Somebody does a flip-take at this point. Suffers the most from Elliot. Uh, I think it's really not.

Well, I think if Elliot was any Star Wars figure, he'd probably be an UGNOT. You think so? And I could be a Gamorian. I think it would be the Power Troy. Me? Or he would. It would be. Okay, I thought you were going to. I think it would be the Power Droid. Me or he would be. It would be. I thought you were gonna say

I was gonna be the Raincore Keeper. And I'd say that's okay. I'll allow it. I'd go squat square, just like a squat square with like rubber legs. I remember when I was a kid, somebody got me the Power Droid for one of my birthdays. And he was really, he was like,

he's like, no, it's an awesome droid it's called the power droid it means it's the most powerful you remember him for those three seconds I thought that was the droid that they flipped over and roasted his feet you know what I'm like I assume that the power droid is basically just like a battery that moves around and that it used to charge other things Like why do they get this battery droid like legs? Why can they just like put them on wheels? Don't they put drinks on his head? I don't know do that to R2D too Yeah, yeah, so their coasters their mobile coasters

But R2D2's basically got wheels the power droid walks. That's a terrible idea He's gonna knock those fucking drinks all over the place. He's better for in stepwear or P nuts. Yes Or that weird fishy thing. Oh fucking walk over you can get your drink plug your fucking cell phone into him Etc. A candle yep Plugging your candle. Well, yeah, whatever job I got to check my screens. Oh, yeah, dinosaur, sure, whatever. So, uh,

Pray Dragons. That's all for, for letters. Thank you. For this episode. And now your last and least favorite segment of the show, recommendations. Oh, okay. Movies that we saw recently, that we actually liked

in lieu of, you know, workplace walking with dinosaurs. Yeah, so don't watch walking with dinosaurs. Watch the movie dance about to recommend. Oh, I'm gonna go first. Oh, here's the thing. I've got, hey there guys. I've got three recommendations. We'll do some real talk. But they're, they're linked. I've got three recommendations. I've got three recommendations.

I've got three recommendations. Oh, OK. So I recently re-watched the Tim Burton Swini Todd, which I enjoyed a great deal. I know that people who are real Swini Todd fishing autos, don't love that movie because number one, a lot of stuff is cut from it,

and number two, you know, you've got Johnny Depp and the Hell and Obonac, Bob Carter, who are not real musical theater voices, who maybe can't handle the Steven Sondheim music, as well as people who are real Broadway stars. But as a movie, as a movie adaptation of a musical, it's one of the better musical films that have come out, certainly in like the last, you know, couple decades, which has been a kind of a dry spot from musical theater on film.

However, that may be curious to go watch the Angel Lansbury production that is available on DVD. And that production is, you know, like a film stage production, it has Angel Lansbury from the, I should play Swini Todd. She's Mrs. Love and weird casting. I believe that she's from the original cast, I may be wrong in this,

but Swini Todd is not from the original cast. Like the capturing of this stage production does not capture the full original cast of that production. So it's maybe in and of itself not like the greatest record of the stage version, but she's great. And if you're wanting to see a complete version of the musical, it's certainly great. It has kind of the problems that you usually have when you watch a filmed version of this stage production.

It just doesn't capture the full magic of it. But if you're interested, it's certainly great. And it's kind of interesting to watch the Tim Burton's We Need Todd and watch that and think about how that's kind of the way that theater is. Like, there's no one definitive version of a theatrical production. And likewise, there's no now, like, really definitive, good Swinny Todd. You can get on DVD necessarily. Uh, I thought, uh, that Tim Burton won.

Okay. Good point. But the third, the third linked recommendation I want to make. Tim Burton's plan of the apes is the great performances of Into the Woods, which is, I believe, the original Broadway cast of Into the Woods that has Burnard Up Peters and Joanna Gleason. And that is one of the few cases where I actually do watch a filmed version of a stage play.

I think this is great. I'm totally entertained by everything that's happening here. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to watch a side time musical, want Wanna go check out Above All. The end of the woods DVD. But also the sweet time ones are pretty good too. So this is my recommendations. Three big recommendations.

All to be watched on airplanes. Yeah, thanks. I'm going to, so I've seen a bunch of movies this summer. I've seen a lot of big movies. But the movie I'm gonna recommend tonight is a Little quiet movie called drinking buddies It's directed by Joe Swanberg Who's part of that whole little crew of mumble core mumble core horror directors

and mumble core horror but he's done a lot of likeumbled for horror. Like that group of dudes made like Ty West and all those guys. Sure. But so this is a little movie, not very much happens. It features Jake Johnson, is that his name, from the new girl? Or did Jake Johnson?

I think it's Jake Johnson. Okay. One of them. He's good. Olivia Wilde, who's great in it. I've always said that I kind of think that she's a good actress who's been stuck in shitty roles. Yeah, that's true.

And what's her name, the singer from whatever? So it's a great little movie. Or I mean, I liked it. it was a pretty good little movie. And yeah so not much happens it's about tracking and buddies. Yeah it's about two friends who are in relationships with other people and they obviously have chemistry but for whatever, you know, for their own fears or societal pressures, they end up not getting together. And, but, you know, their friendship in a way kind of hurts their individual relationships there with other people.

And it, I don't know, it felt fairly honest to me, although not much happens. So don't watch this movie expecting a comedy, like all the people on Amazon seem to, if you read the reviews. Alright, Evan, what do you have for a minute? Well, if you want something to counter, walking with dinosaurs, you know, for parents out there, I really think the first cloudy with the chance of meatballs is terrific. It's got a lot of great stuff for kids, but adults too, it's just such a smart, fast, funny movie, really terrific. So you can show that with the kids, and that's not gonna be torture for you, it's actually. I see, like, went on to do like,

they went on to do stuff to do the Lego movie. And I think that's probably some of their best work is in Cloud with a chance of me, Paul's. And then, you know, full disclosure, Justin Long, Vassar Grad, he and I did theater play together, we did separate play together, we did true West, we played the Brothers.

Really? In college. So you would have known him very well. And I ran into him after when I was doing all my social media against walking with dinosaurs, I ran into him and I was like, do I say, nope, not gonna bring it up. Just gonna catch up and say, hey, see how he's doing. And not say, oh, by the way,

I've devoted a portion of my life to trashing that thing, you got a really nice paycheck to just Adlib, Walt. You gotta say, there's a weird, there's a weird portion of the internet. We have their guns out for just in the long and the same thing. I feel like there's a weird person. I think that's

totally unfair. He's so talented. He's incredible. He's he's he's he he makes a lot of projects where he makes a lot of money. Alvin with the chipmunks and a lot of the live action things. But the fact is he's super talented. Now I think in the right thing he's he's very fun. He's in the right thing. Yeah. Yeah. But like I you know, like I like to wanna walk hard, I like to him in like the movie is not great, but I think he carries like accepted like as much as that movie.

That's a movie that you came up with that idea and then they... Well, that was an old start in that life's get with Billy Crystal. Was it? Or maybe they had to fake college. And they they describe on visiting day, there will be a large cardboard cut out building that you can take your photo in front of but don't let anyone stand behind it.

Yeah, that idea has been around for a long time. Yeah, just so well, I think he's okay. Like I feel like he always, he tries to bring something except for this movie where he didn't bring anything. Well, he brought what he could. No one could do that. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you.

I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you.

I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. I guess no one's gonna sell this to you. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna, like, producers of walking with dinosaurs. No one's gonna fix your movie. So if you want a good vassar grad movie as an alternative to this, I'd say check out detonator, an indie film starring Ben Fine, Class of 98, I believe. It's an indie movie about a washed up punk rock singer who's at a crossroads in his life.

And I think it's very enjoyable and you can see it on demand in various iTunes and other formats. Cool for Vassar grads. Yeah. Not me. And if you just want a good movie, I finally saw an unmarried woman. It took Paul Muzersky's death

to get me to finally see an unmarried woman. Fantastic. So great ones. I'm the only one with only not three recommendations. Yeah. That was you feeling like that? Goosey Guardians of the Galaxy twice then, I guess. Here.

They already have. Probably, yeah, according to numbers. Well, guys, this has been good. Thanks for being here. Thanks for hating me. Thanks for being here, bro. Thanks for being like this fucking snake talk. The knowing that Elliot was not going to be here.

In a way, is this like putting a pain in this part of your life? I hope so. Yes, the only way I can make sense of this. Because it was the longest, for my kids, it was the longest joke about how I would, we would do all these jokes about me being in a Manchurian candidate style situation. I get hypnotized and they say, you will betray your country, I'm going to say yes, master. You will kill your family members, I say yes, master. You will watch walking with dinosaurs again.

No! Like it was always the joke, I'm chained to a wall. We came up with all these great gags because my kids love meddling me about walking with dinosaurs. And now, here I actually saw it again, and it was just as terrible as I remember. So the only good thing to come out of it

is that this is the end. We've uh, the water over the TV search. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with Freddie, Freddie Krueger's bones and John Saxon and the graveyard. They'll never come back. No, that's probably not a good. Why does they bury him with his sweater? Well, we're gonna have to say good night, but for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington, and I'm Kevin Mar at Kevin Geek's

out on Twitter. That's Kevin Ge set the night on fire. Because we are not that young anymore. Yep. You're gonna hear me roar. Let's uh, do this shit. Yeah, let's fuck this up Let's fucking tear the new one Do it fucking thing

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