The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #164 - 300: Rise of an Empire

Episode Date: November 1, 2014

Thus  we enter November, the month known for having "No" theme. And, appropriately, we watched one of the most generic of modern action sequels, 300: Rise of an Empire. Meanwhile, Elliott lectures on Noid avoidance, Dan makes a public apology relating to one type of music and attacks another, and Stu makes an exciting announcement for enjoyers of comical books.

Tonight we watched 300 and 1 Dalmatians. Now, Stuart, it was 300 Rise of an Empire. And boy did it ever! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin with a little bit of a stuffed nose. All right. Well, right off the bat, I just want to say there's been a lot of controversy. Well, hey, buddy, let us settle into this, settle in. You know, just dive into a hot bath.

It's no time for the bad. There's been a little controversy. This is about most ember or whatever. No, it's not. It's about, look, escape, parentheses that pin you a cloud of song. Not a Jimmy Buffet song. No, I told you it wasn't a Jimmy Buffet song. Here's the thing. In my mind, as far as I'm concerned, all tropical songs become Jimmy Buffet song over time.

I've got three syllables for you, dude. Coco mo is not a Jimmy Buffet song. Coco mo is just two years away from becoming a Jimmy Buffett. It's not. Any song that could conceivably be played at a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville restaurant is a Jimmy Buffett. That's not how that works. It's the way that Xerox was a Luronic Cleanser. So you're saying Jimmy Buffett has now become a word.

As a Jimmy Buffett, it's no longer a brand name, but in fact, a common word like Q-tip, Xerox, clean X, yeah, aspirin, all these things. So I'm guessing you got a lot of letters. I guess I'm guessing aspirin is some kind of wife's butt magazine you get. Like it sure has aspirin says. Sprin says. Yeah. Yeah, it's aspirin says with the cess ripped off. That's not pretty good. Now, yeah, did you get there was some chatter. Well, I've shatter on the Facebook page. But hey, you know what else there was chatter about freeing the show? Our Yonkers show was a smashing success. Yeah. A much thank all of our fans who came out to Yonkers from all over the country and other

countries to see us perform. Yeah. They were really great. It was a great audience. And the outfit of America, they came to see us. And guys, I just want to, I know I might get some flack for this, but I also want to thank all those fans who couldn't make it out because they aren't able to make it to Yonkers. Hey, yeah. You guys are great too, because they're all heroes in your life. You're all heroes in your life. So let's.

I mean, a lot of people made it a point to come to Yonkers. It seemed like the only reason you would come. So that concludes the old business. We covered that. Thanks for coming to Yachtford. It seems like the only reason you look down your deck. Oh, okay. That concludes the old business. We covered that. Thanks for coming to Yachtford. It was a great show. And we hope to see you at our January show. Glad you made it to Yachtford. Dan explained his bizarre theory that every song is a Jimmy Buffett song. I guess we didn't start the fire as a Jimmy Buffett song. So like the Tee key bird song is that a Jimmy Buffett song? I was a Jimmy Buffett song. So like the T.E. Burns song is then a Jimmy Buffett song. The T.E. Burns song is, and it's a... I refuse to live in that world.

It's a song. I refuse to live in that world. That was my genre is what I'm saying. Once he gets his like pineapple juice and gross ketchup stained fingers all over the... That's what the cheeseburger of her name is. Yeah. So this is a podcast for we watch a bad movie

and then we talk about it. Mm-hmm tonight we watched a sequel. A sequel. A sequel if you will. No, we won't because it was not a squeak well. There's no squeaky. It was called 300 colon rides of an empire. You probably already know that though because when you download the episode, it's on the

talking box or whatever. Yeah, and then I say it in the introduction to like, it's really nice. Yeah, it's never a shock. It's not a big. This is not when people find out. It's for people who have not been paying attention, honestly. No, it's like, so you and Stuart, three times, shame on you. What?

So this was a, this was a sequel to 300 a movie that Stuart and I both really like genuinely. And I thought was, yeah, all right. And I'm not the biggest Zack Snyder fanball. I'm at 300 visionary director. So Jack Snyder, you don't like it. He is a visionary. That's true. Uh, Jack Snyder, Jack Snyder,

jumping Jack Snyder. He was Jack. He was right. He was Jack Snyder before and Harry. Wait, the greatest name is Zach. Yeah. Now, which Snyder's pretzels? Yeah.

Now, he's the son of Tom Snyder. Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, Zack Snyder, the best thing that Zack Snyder has done is the pre-credit sequence. No, pre-credit, whatever, baby Huey. The pui-credit sequence. The pui-credit sequence. I'm not a pui-credit fan of Zack Snyder with the watchman.

What is sequence is very good. I was gonna say the weak, what it sequence to the dawn of the dead remake. Oh, okay. Yeah, your baby voice lost it near the end there. Yeah, that's okay. You know, I'm gonna be plus. It was the zombie baby from dawn of the dead.

Wait, from the baby was in the opening? No, no, that dam was doing the voice. Oh, okay. I mean, every baby is in an opening at some point. It's how you get them out of there. You show me a baby. I'll show you one who's been through an opening. I'll see some chicks in for the baby.

Still an opening. It's really an exit for the baby. It's not an... It opens, doesn't it? Yes, it does. Yeah, because it's closed. That's how a baby gets out of it. Because you know what about exits?

They don't open. You're right. I'm gonna just go. Please do. that's how a baby gets out of it. Because you know what about exits, they don't open. You're right. I'm gonna just go. Please do. Walk, walk away, walking, gone, Dan gone. Okay, gone, Dan. Show me the rental chain, rental door close.

Yeah, boogans, et cetera, Thunder Sound. So 300, that's, it's a stupid movie, but I find it pretty fun. It is high, operatic corn ball. It looks like a movie made out of heavy metal covers, just tossed together. And for the most part, the people acting in it understand this and are way over the top.

They're at the right pitch of like, yeah, goofy over the top, spectacle. Whereas, just spoiler alert, 300 rise of an empire instead of having Gerard Butler in what's still his best role by far right better than bad soccer dad soccer dad bad dad yeah ugly truth come on yeah so he's been bad in everything except 300 that he is replaced here with some guy who's named I don't even know who is from strike back the guy from strike back is he the guy in strike back

who catches the nuclear weapon like a football? Well, I don't know what a nuclear weapon is. It's a nuclear weapon. I've heard one of those things. A nuclear weapon. Potantic. I've never seen it. What was his name in this mistilot?

The mystic leaves. Which is a real person. The mystic leaves. Now the mystic leaves. The mystic leaves, the old blues song. Oh, the mystic leaves. Yeah. Their mystic knees, the mystic knees, the old blues song. Oh, the mystic knees. Yeah, their mystic knees, their mystic knees, they sure got me their mystic knees. Well, get up and see that last record.

Old Jack Sparta. Yeah. Mississippi Delta Blues, man, this thing's about ancient Greece. I played it down at the hot gates. See, a little bit of the Thermopylaub blues. Just 300 of us here. And Zerxes coming round. Oh, there's 300 of us here. And Zerxes coming round. You make a good point, which better tell my woman. There's some bad stuff to

be found. Every blues song. The do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do and it's whatever it does. Whatever else it does. You know, and the knuckles, you play your knuckles. Yeah, Sonic and Knuckles, classic, dynamco duo. And Tails. Tails broke up with the rope. Yeah, Tails flew it off the tails. Tails died, go to DeviantArt, there's probably a Shillow picture of it.

I'm dead tails. Oh, Sonic was weaving. Sonic's all in black, black veil, yeah. Sure. Because he was Tails' wife. Anyway, let's talk about it. So this is a sequel of 300, but it happens both before and concurrently

and after 300. So it's like the Godfather Part II of 300 movies where it's bounced around in time. We open, okay. The parallel, see. In the last movie, it was the Battle of Thermopylae, 300 Spartans and about a ton of other Greek guys.

Well, that's not talked about them. Versus the army of Zerxes, the Persian Emperor, who is a monster man. Who is a monster man? He's got an army of monster people. He does have a monster's vibe. And here's one of the things I love about 300, the first movie. Okay. It is Bonkers Crazy Eight myth stuff.

They are fighting an army of monsters. Zurich sees his like 18 feet tall and talks in this like low core of the earth voice. Like everything about it is totally ridiculous. A guy, a rhinoceros is charging at them and a guy throws his spear and it's time to just write so that the dead rhinoceros slides right up to them but not far enough to touch them. Now, I don't love to like get dust on his sandals. Yeah. Do you love the homophobia of the original 300. I don't and I'll tell you what I'm a game monsters.

Well, yes, there is a the well, I don't know if it's gay so much as sexually decadent. Yeah, there's implied that they're having that they're having that weird like orgy of amputee is in scarred women and things like that. I mean they're they're let's get one thing straight. These are racist bunch of movies. Yeah, it's a xenophobic. These are movies about about white English accented Greeks with relatively light hair versus monsters

versus Persian monsters and right, attacking the home lion. And but here's the thing, and it's hard. It is about a bunch of humans. It's about love. It's the closest we're gonna get to it. No, it's a tale. It's hard. It is about a bunch of he men's about love. It's the closest we're gonna get to it No, it's a tale. It's hard tale is all of a boy in his dog tail as old as time Well a couple thousand years old. It's about it's the closest you're gonna get to a he man movie

It's these buff guys fighting monster men who would be ran man then or go Or go unfortunately is not in it and as we said worked watching this movie It could have used a kind of wise cracking wizard yeah because use the problem with 300 rise of an empire they cut out most of the monsters and I think they tried to tack more towards real history to a point but then they did it in a stupid way so let's talk about school gun the movie opens with uh Lena had his character Queen Gorgos Farta. And I wish she was Gorgos the British Godzilla who you may remember from the movie Gorgos. And I don't. Well, it was the British knockoff of Godzilla. Okay. And he's basically Godzilla,

but he's got fins for ears. There's baby Gorgos and there's mama Gorgos. But let's, we don't need to get into that. Then there's Gorgon Zola, which is of course is a Greek cheese that fought the Persians. Oh, okay. Uh, so she's like, hey, you guys remember all that King Leonidas and all those men died? Let me give you some backstory. It seems 10 years ago we had the Battle of Marathon and this guy, thermistically, is killed King Darius of Persia. But he should have killed King Darius on Zrixies because his eyes had the stink of fate about them. Or whatever it is they say.

Now, history. I'm gonna phrase, his eyes had the stink of fate. But at this point in this opening, I guess, monologues, and we get a battle sequence, and this is not terrible, it's a shot okay. I mean, it's a, you know, it's a 300 style dumb battle sequence. A lot's a slow moan, blood flying, it's a 300 style dumb battle sequence with lots of slow moan, blood flying.

It was like fake CGI blood and the colors are all way over blown and everything. Like you said, it's mortal combat blood. Yeah. The blood in this gets seemingly faker and faker as it goes on. And there are parts where it does. And I do like watching more of that because of the 3D, like they wanted to make it shinier. So it'd pick up the 3D. But I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I mentioned on the Facebook page about Dracula 3D, the one to make it shinier so it'd pick up the 3D better I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do and much like the Herculean's movie watched. In ancient times, apparently there was always like pollen and cinders and feather and shit, just flying around in the air all the time. And stuff that gives you a sense of depth. Like, it just happens to me in the air. But also like ancient people must have had terrible lungs. Like, they're just breathing in crap all the time. Apparently industrialization was the best thing that ever happened when it came to clean air.

And pretty much all of Greece is all Greece that we see is like black lava rocks. Yeah. It's just why does Persia want it so bad, dude? It just blasted cliffs, yeah, against an unrelenting, unseparishable, unseparishable, unseparishable, unseparishable. I guess so. But anyway, she tells the tale still about how a Zerxes was now became emperor. And he took on Darius' top commander Artemisia. Darius Argentos.

Thank God not. So Artemisia, Eva Green's character, is, it's your classic story in these movies. She is a little girl who was sold into slavery, repeatedly raped, left for dead, picked up by a Persian general and trained to be the world's greatest badass warrior queen. She's basically like Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy or like, you know, Zena or... Mara Jade. Mara Jade from the Star Wars extended universe. I don't know what you're...

Mara Jade? Oh, Mara Jade. She married Luke Snowwalk eventually. What? She's the most popular addition to the Star Wars canon by Timothy's on. I'm sorry. Cold Star Wars on that quick. Hello.

Timothy's on. Oh, no, sorry, it's your brother Steve. Steve's on. Tell your brother Timothy or the Star Wars books. Dan doesn't know what he's talking about. You're getting an angry letter from Steve's on. I mean, it's for some concern that Star Wars canon consists of the Star Wars movie. No, the Star Wars canon is a canon that shoots Star Wars DVDs of people. Okay. Very ineffective in a siege situation,

but Leonardo da Vinci invented it. And it's really disappointed when they get episode one. Yeah, it's terrible for me. It's like throwing the heads of your enemies at them. Yeah. So anyway, Artamija is the, let's just say it, the best character in the whole movie. She's great. The only interesting character in Eva Green has that type of performance you were talking about. She's got it.

She is, she has got it, and by it it is scenery chewing a ham bonus. Yeah. Just total ham. And the willingness to have a fight slash sex scene topless. Yeah. Both of those things. Totally.

Make her pop off the screen. Because it's 3D boobs, is that what you're saying? That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Both of those things totally make her pop off screen. Because it's 3D boobs. Is that what you're saying? That's exactly what it is. Yeah. They get her. Sir J. Pop off. Something, there's just something ineffable about her. It could be the fact that she's finding topless. Could be. Who knows? But anyway, artisans will tell us. And now this is sure. This sequence is the best part of the movie as far as I'm concerned. It tells the backstory of Artamizia, Goating Zerixie is into going through a mystical right in the cave of a hermit in the desert,

where he walks into a pool of magic gold liquid and walks out as the 18-foot tall chain covered, totally hairless and rogidess monster king that we know for the first movie. And the hermit says, says gold you're taking my gold Over your body There's golden them there's axes Why my Herman if I have all the gold rich rich I tell you rich Persian

Oh Great character the version of the whole prospecting hermit. Honestly that, three hundred three. Herman, Herman's tail. Herman's tail. So was it a tail of how he became a hermit? Or is it how he stops becoming a hermit? Or just him and his cave,

just eating his own scabs for sustenance. Telling stories. Herman's cave occasionally shooting the shotgun above the heads of people. Come close to the show. Stay away from a cave. Jerksies. A strait traveler shows up and the hermit delights him with erotic adventures and tales. A thousand and one of them.

What are you talking about? The red hermit diary Dear hermit nobody's reading over a lot dear hermit. I had a story to tell you Yeah, I don't know how this guy got my address, but I'll read it. I live in a cave I guess I'll read it and a state of undress Well touching myself no one can see me. I'm a hermit. Get those cameras out of here. Call us, show time.

Zalman Hobo kings, the red hermit diaries. Okay, so even Zalman God king, I think would be good for it. No, no, Zerixie says the God king. So basically at that point, the movie then shifts, and it becomes concurrent with the battle of Thermopoly. The mystically is fighting a bunch of battles. He's after Marathon, when he killed Darius, he fights Barrel's against Xerxes.

They fight the battle of Artemisium, which is this big naval battle. They fight the battle of Salamis later on. is this big naval battle. They fight the Battle of Salamis later on. Yeah, I don't think that was the Battle of Salamis. They're hitting each other with big salamis. And it's basically, I remember that from my old three students you were right. And at this point, it just, it kind of becomes like a classic illustrated shitty history of the Persian Wars. Because it's just battle after battle, speech after speech, the characters are cardboard, soboards on get out occasionally even green

will show up in live and things up but like there aren't even any monster men for most of it like are they it's like the last half hour they're like oh yeah were there monsters in this thing you're saying that if tnt's monster vision was interested in this. They would have to pass it over. Yeah, entirely. Well, I mean monster vision show a lot of movies without monsters What they've gone way off message. Oh, you've been a tough to Joe bug breaks This wasn't in your part in your remit Joe Bob. You have just sent it to his hermit's cave. Yeah Just to be he's in her body. Joe Bob rings today. We've got Lonely food Solitary food talking to nobody food no boobs He's in. Herman J.O.B.O. Today we've got lonely food, solitary food, talking to nobody food, no boobs.

This is Herman J.O.B.O.B. is giving the ratings for that day is nothing. Yeah, he's telling it to the picked over skull of the cow. So he has in his hand. Artamizia and the mystically is because this is a movie, they have a sort of romantic savage rivalry, which comes to a head when they come to a head and have sex with each other while fighting. She offers to have him join her because he's a brilliant general who's been out

winning her and she is a brilliant generalist who is a hellcat in the sack. He says no. And a little rough sex, which does not get consummated because he, uh, the sex is the consummation, right? Yeah, but I mean, like there's no, I mean, clearly does the sex is not continue to either of their completion, completion. No, yeah, sure. Well, you don't know that about him. I guess as soon as he pulled

out, he might have been like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, anybody got a bandaid? We see you clutch. Yeah, you're in front of the lights. I don't like what it's done. I'm going to dance the flow. He's never had sex for horses like, I'm going to link my soul essence is leaking out. I'm bleeding white Newy blood. Okay, stop. Stop. Please stop right there. Please stop. We do see him clutching a cape to his to his crotch So maybe he's just kind of trying to mop up. Yeah They there's like more and more fighting and at a certain point were like so did they forget that Lena he was telling this story because then we get to the battle of salamis where they're fighting on a bunch of ships and it just becomes a

video game you're just behind a CGI at the mystically is on a horse as he rides around across ships slashing guys are going through fire and then he's having a complete with like shots of zooming in on Artamizia across the sea and then cutting back to him and then he decides to go on a different route It's yeah, and it looks like you're watching someone play Shenmue remember that game. Yeah Dreamcast that's hard. Yeah Anyway, remember Romero card guys. Yeah, this was a lot like Mario Kart. Yeah, yeah, because he gets around shells of people. Yeah, there's bananas.

Banana peels. Oh, tons of banana peels, Dan. All right. He's Dan, okay. He's trying to relate to us. I think he's having a stroke. He's trying to relate to us to the young people. Yeah, banana peels.

Yeah. Yes. Yes, I don't like where this again, this is just old video games now. So there's a big battle. There's a big battle and they're fighting. And then you hear Lena Heady, you haven't heard her narration. Oh, there's also part in the middle where one of the characters starts telling them mystically is Artemisia's backstory.

So it's a nice nested flashback where you're like, all right, so what is going on here? Now after this point, you feel like you need to diagram this movie a little bit. Off camera, the battle for Mopli happened. Now this is after the battle for Mopli. Artemisia and Thymestically's have met up for their final duel and they're got swords with each other's necks and you hear Lena Heady, a wind, rustled, caressed her hair like a lover's hand.

Blah, blah, blah. And you see that Lena Heady is standing on an approaching ship with a bunch of Spartan soldiers. She's the queen of Sparta and whatever. And it's like, wait, so the whole movie was her telling them a story as they got to this battle, but she was narrating the battle that was happening that they hadn't gotten to yet.

And then they end up. Seems like it, dude. Artemisia forces the mystically's hand. He kills her after offering to let her go. And the Sparta. Much to our groans of conservation. Yeah, because she's the best character. And then the Spartans come and attack everybody.

And that's the end in Western civilization to save from the evil monster Persians. But here's the thing. I would have liked this movie more if, if, if, uh, Artemisia had killed the mystically's Oh, totally. Killed everybody else. They got into a spaceship and like had a bunch of space adventures. Yeah, I mean, as I said while we were watching it, you could easily do a crossover between 300 and Stargate and it wouldn't be weird. It would look totally normal because they both are the same villain too.

Yeah, yeah, because Zerksy's looks like a Gua Wold is what they're called, Dan. Now I really like, now I really want to see this movie though where like there's just like awesome assassin version princess and I would feel like, but actually Greek she just works for the person. Oh yeah No, but she's this she's this awesome assassin and if it was across over a stargate She could have sex with James Spader Roughin What are these stargate 300 crash Star crash is a different movie whoa that doesn't have What are these stargate 300 crash? I'm gonna start crash. No, no, no, no, no, no's right. She's tough. And be puffy on the cover of magazines.

Yeah. So here's the thing. This is a very boring movie for a lot of it. But it's got this one performance in it that's really exciting. You wonder like, why didn't they make this just about her? Why did they have to make the Greeks the heroes? Why couldn't they made her the hero? I mean, she loses in the end, but.

But I mean, that's just like, you write a movie and you don't necessarily know what's gonna go on with the casting. Like, the thing is like, they got lucky with the casting of her and apparently did not know how to cast anyone else. I guess, but her character is even written more interestingly than the other ones.

Like, it's the old villain has more fun thing. Like, the hero gives a lot of speeches about, we need to be free men, democracy, the United Greece to have freedom and liberty, but he never really seems to believe any of it. He's just kind of like yelling things at his men to get them to fight all oiled up and shirtless. Meanwhile, she's written in a way that it's like,

yeah, okay, she has a motivation. Like, she was thrown away by the Greeks. Now, she wants to get revenge, but also she has a lust for power and she likes to use people. And she had the, and she in a way like Rose Zerksies to power. And she even has the opportunity to like go against his wishes, which is cool. Like, she, she is a more interesting character. Everything about her is more interesting than this guy

who is just bad laughter battle speech after speech, but we don't give a shit about him. He has nothing to interest us other than in theory, he's a hero. No, I'm totally with you. And telling it from her perspective, would tie it closer to the original 300 with the idea of the hero dies at the end.

Yeah. But it felt so much like when you take the 300 story and you change, well, I mean, you're not taking exact story, but when you're taking that that era of time and then you just change all the things that would conveniently make a more positive movie, all the things that would conveniently make a more positive movie, like instead of having them sacrifice their lives for no appreciable effect, instead they have the good guys winning at the end of the day. I mean, the Greeks did win that battle in real life. No, I know. But there's even a boss fight at the end.

Yeah, well, that's 300 never had that moment of like, it's not like release, I guess. Zerxes and Gerard Butler didn't have like a hand-to-hand combat scene. Which, they've never had much. Gerard Butler would have been fucked because Zerxes has that giant magic ax that he's carrying in this movie. Yeah, that he just cuts people's heads off with.

Where did he get a horse big enough to carry him around? Because he's so huge. Like he must have bred it It's like a destroyer, you know some kind of dread not horses something one of those horses that they used to breed in medieval times That were strong enough to carry a man on in armor But they were so expensive you never actually rode him into battle was that the medieval times in New Jersey or yeah Yeah, the medieval times in bayon. Yeah, but here's the thing They took a movie that was goofy as I'll get out.

Yes. Removed the stuff that made it fun and goofy. Most of the stuff. Except for a little bit. Except for a little bit. And then took it for granted that the audience was just along for the run. There was a lot of like good will fumes

from 300 that this movie used up. Yeah, I hate to say that like basing the original 300 on Frank Miller's graphic novel. In some ways was a benefit because they managed to throw in a ton of extra shit like the weird temple of the oracles and all that other weird stuff. They at least added flavor and character, like hermit caves.

But also, the first, the best part of it is in the beginning, they had the hermit cave and stuff, but it felt like, well, we watched the movie. I said, this feels like we're watching if ancient Greeks had had movies, and they made a movie about this. This is the movie they would make.

Heroic, bare-chested Greeks fighting monster men who use evil magic, and then the movie like forgot about all that stuff. What were you saying then? I said this while we're watching the movie, but also too, I feel like this movie actually suffered from not being an adaptation of a comic. And adaptation.

And adaptation of a comic in that the first 300 kind of took advantage of its fakeness in the backdrops to really mirror the panels of a comic strip. Like it had a certain two-dimensional quality, like, and all the action progressed along a two-dimensional line that made it very easy to follow, whereas this movie had the fakeness of the CGI backgrounds, but it was untethered by that kind of like comic panel look. That's what you meant when you were saying it's two, three-dead. Yeah, it's, it's like a weird one.

That third dimension was not timed, by the way. No, no, I mean like it when I say it's 2 3D it doesn't make it mean it makes it look more realistic. I just mean that the stylization is it's worse. Yeah, like it's not as clear. You know, I mean, it also doesn't help that like the visuals were really murky and dark and somebody would turn from a human to a CGI figure back to a human within a back and forth and then a couple seconds and the cameras always spinning around. Ah, you know these young kids with their movies with the cameras moving around and the

people jumping all over them. They're like, wushu and whatnot. Kinda like that last Hercules movie watched that where they seem to just hit the bullet time button at random points. Yeah. Like you're watching your friend play Max Payne and you're like, dude, you're doing it totally wrong. But it's, I really wanted to like this movie, is I like the first one, and I had heard

that Eve Green had a nude sex scene in it. So I said, okay, sure, I'm on board. Maybe a bunch of monsters cut people's heads off, but the last the monsters were missing. Yeah, we're there already, but let's do final judgments. This is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie. Movie kind of liked. I say it's a bad bad movie. I was bored by it. Almost more than like this is in the like 80th or 90th percentile of flop house movies.

I was bored by. I don't know what that number means. Yeah. You know, you have a calculator, where's the? Yeah, I just have to put this. Is more board or less board? I run to the numbers. I had Nate Silver over in here. Now more board. This is one of the more door.

Yeah, more door. More door. More door. I want to take this moving and throw it from the disc walk. And more door because that's the only way we can rescue the world from the evil of this film. OK.

Yeah. Well, you better be ready to have Golem bite your finger off because I'm not ready to do it. Why don't they just have the Eagles drop it off for us? Yeah, there's a lot of questions in those little ring stories. Why doesn't it, old one, why don't they just hand the ring to Tom Bommadill and let him lose it in his couch somewhere? No one will ever find it in his magic hermit cabin.

Because that's not what he's for, dude. He's too busy banging goldberry hanging out with fatty lumpkin. My favorite part of the books is when they're like, why don't we just give the ring to Tom Momdell? He's like, eh, he'll just forget it somewhere. Like that Tolkien introduced this godlike character, and then he had to realize like, uh, I guess I'll make him like a real doof so that they can't trust him. Otherwise, he solves every problem in the whole thing. But yeah, it's a bad man movie. It was it was really boring and disappointing. And I have to say that like, there's a good movie, like there's a good straightforward history

movie to be made about the Persian Wars. And there's a good over the top crazy movie and this was neither of them. And it just makes me wonder when they finally make the movie about the Battle of Canne that I want them to make so badly, how is it going to be good or bad? Hollywood, the choice. You want that to be over the top and crazy monster. I mean, either way, either over the top or I'd love to have a realistic version of it, because that battle is horrendous.

I would love to see like a super over the top, like ever realistic version of it because that bad one to see like super over the top like waterloo with like monster French guys and Napoleon on a dragon Napoleon is 12 feet tall and a green spire and a grim non-plussed wellington driving out of the side carriage or something it's called like Waterloo 2.0. Awesome. I mean, that's the only thing though, is once things are a certain amount of time in the past, it's okay to just make stuff up. You know, so there was a bunch of movie ideas that my old writing partner, Brock and I

used to have that were like, just set the idea of- Sure, good. Just set the idea of the past. Like as long as it was a long time ago You could throw it in and I feel like there's movies that could do that type of thing that don't Before we move on to letters uh, we should do Plugs okay or up plug. I don't know if there's more things to plug than this one thing but The one thing that we

should plug is we've got another live show coming up, not right away, but in January. But it's going to sell out. So buy your tickets. And it's at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn. It's the opening night of Podfest 2015 here in New York City. It's January 9th. Yeah. 10 PM. Yeah. The doors open at 9.30, shows it 10.

Costs is $10 if you buy ahead of time, $12 at the door. Buy it ahead of time, save two bucks. Then give that money to us. Put it in our tip, Cups. And our 10 cups. And our DVD copy of 10 cups. Yep.

That's about all there is. Well, that was the best. Well, we're also going to plug a something for comic book fans out there. I sure want you to. You should hustle down to your local comic book retailer, bang on the counter and say, shopkeep, I would like to pre-order a copy of the Flash Gordon holiday special. Now why? Are they able from Dynamite Comics?

Now why would they want to do that? Because it features three stories for the price of one and each story is written by... There's three stories, there's three of us. Seems like a weird coincidence. That's the thing Dan, we each wrote a story of this. What I do. What? Each folks sing on a different holiday.

So it's gonna be, it's really great. It's a special one shot issue. You don't need to have read anything beforehand, but you should because that flash series is really good. Yeah. And if you do not have a local comic book shop, which is sad, I feel bad for you. You should instead go on to the internet, which is everywhere. And even in your house.

Even in that pocket, you right now. Open your mouth. That's internet in there. And go on and pre-order it from the Dynamite website. So that's the Flash Gordon Holiday Special. Number one. And get tickets now for the January 9th show, the Flop House Live. New York City Pod Fest 2015. And the Bell House Flop House Live, New York City Podcast 2015. And the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

You're going to plug your Twitter account? No, I just remember there's another thing I just mentioned. I had a brief guest spot on Wambam, Powell, one of our fellow Max Fun Network shows. Talking about something that I've talked about many times on this show, return to the living dead. So, you've probably heard me talk about it already if you're a fan of this show, but if you want to know what it sounds like, when I'm talking, when I'm not being interrupted by Aliens 2, check out Wambam Pau.

That was a little pointed. Sounds great. You have anything else to plug L.I. I plugged that blood and essay in last episode never can say goodbye having essay in that plug up your fucking pie hole wow But since wow plug that even plug Yeah, and slate ran an excerpt. Yeah So Dan

How did you feel about a 300 rise of an empire? I already said I didn't like. Well, was it a scarly spooking eyeing or a snow snorkeling? Stupor-fying? Or was it a giddly good grog? Giddly good grog? That's the classification. Sure. We're in. So he's got you, is it what kind of a grog is it? For this themes. Is it Elfazard? No. Ha ha ha ha. Pizza will hide. I knew the hawk looks where the hawk would hide. It looks in the attic, he looks in the belfry. I look where the pizza would hide in the basement, in the cellar.

In the wooden pizza oven. I mean, I'm married. Ha ha ha ha. I would not call myself a pizza hunter. Ha ha ha. We've done a lot. We've done a very good job of avoiding the noise over the past decade or 15 years. Well, you got to thank the social, the National Security State for that. Yeah.

Yeah, enjoy your surveillance, dude. If it's worth being noise free to have all your emails read by the NSA, I'm a fucking drone watching you every day, brushing your teeth through the bathroom window. Yeah, enjoy your pizza, dude. T-words pepperoni pizza. 30, comes in 30 minutes or less, where your pizza is not free, just like you. Actually, guys, look at this. Wow, that was a stretch level.

Yeah, I know. But that's just like, it's just like George Orwell said in 1984, big brother is feeding you. All right. Pizza. 2 plus 2 equals noise. Hey, man, I mean, they put your face in a cage where Nords eat it off. This ruin it.

Yeah. Hey, wake up, Pete's also. She pizzas. What was she pizza? She pizza. She, that's when pizza, pizza's cousin got a transfusion from him and became she pizza. Okay. I'm just saying it's not William on it.

It's time for Occupy pizza. Sounds good. So does the noise even exist? Does anyone ever seen this noise? And yet I've got to take my pizza off and I go to the airport. Yeah. It's a false flag. Yeah. annoyed. So it's time

to read a few letters from you, the listeners, the right letters to us, those seems like weirdly still to the introduction. Is it for expecting something? No, I'm just going to go right in, dive right in. So this first letter is from Brian last name with hell. Brian wrote us a letter. Letter number one's from Brian today. Hey, Brian, quit Brian in your hate for guys who don't read your letters because Dan's gonna right now read the letter and how it's your letter Brian. Hey, stop crying. Brian. This day's for you. Letter number one. Maybe it'll be fun. Maybe it'll be done soon. But let's

let it make it last forever. This letter together. Those are three words that don't really rhyme. But I pretended they did for Brian PS Dan Brian was filmed in front of a live studio on it So this letter goes what ever happened to predictability the milkman the lettuce page Brian's thing for us. I Everywhere you read right. there's a letter I Never met Brian before who cares

Letter from Brian It's my court Bum bum bum bum. So uh, the first letter. Do do do do do do do do do do rise letter. Okay. So the podcast just saying a bunch of old TV themes. Thank you. One star letter unsubscribed sitting at your computer and write a letter. Your fandom's true. You're a pal and you wrote a letter to do do do do do do. And if you sent a letter, your fandom's true, you're a pal and you wrote a letter,

to do, to, and if you sent a letter, invite it everyone you knew. What we would see your letter would be for us without letters. What would we, what would we, letter reads? Well, there's a time for Brian and a time for letter. I want to get right to the point. And don't bullshit around, there's silly songs. Brian and a time I want to get right to the point. And don't bullshit around this silly song.

So this letter goes like this. Show me that letter again. Show me that letter. Don't waste another minute on this song, bitch. OK, so it goes like this. I recently acquired a role as a monster in a major motion picture. Well, I wanted to hear about that.

Why did you wait so long? I am. I am am next 300 movie. I'm 100 rise of monsters. I'm concerned slash excited. Maybe her main story. We'll call 300s. Our hermit's tale Greeks versus Dracula's. I'm concerned slash excited

that it may eventually get viewed for the show. I don't want to specify anything about the movie, but I know that I, but know that I personally have no acting chops. Despite me being six foot seven and 170 pounds, it is unfortunately not a movie about Slender Man. Anyway, hopefully I'll have a reason to contact you guys once the movie comes out and you make fun of the stupid monster in it.

Ryan last name with help. Not, come on. I want to know what the movie is. It's more confident about yourself, the stupid monster in it. That's you. That's you, man. Right? That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he might be playing a stupid monster in it. That's you. That's you, man. Right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, he might be playing a stupid monster. Yeah. Oh, like a like what? I mean, I'm not super super super like a monster. I have a monster door door door the beast master Mark singer everybody like a King Kong like Like a big ape. King Kong's pretty smart for a monster. Yeah, more like Gilman. Gilman is dumb as a bag of rocks.

Yep. All right. Don't make me start on the Metalooda Mutant. He's got a big brain, but he is stupid as hammers. But this guy is more than a hammerman though. Super smart. And not a monster. He's a heroic rapper with magic shoes.

This guy's taller than six and a half feet. And he is, he weighs less than I do. Yeah, he's real skinny. So let's, I mean, he must be playing like a pumpkin head or a scarecrow man or something. He's like a skeleton. S saying, yeah, I mean,

he's writing an essay. Yeah, maybe he's like a, like a, answer or something mean he's writing an essay yeah maybe he's like a like a like an answer sometimes like a real monster yeah an answer an answer a spinley monster yeah like an insect monster pumpkin head as only it said yeah it's a kind of spinley monster I know do you look like a daddy long legs a what a day long legs monster yeah yeah sure yeah that's not a spider that's an insect, I'm not. I didn't say it was a spider. The implication was clear. And I was pretty offended by it. Sorry guys. It's not Danny long legs. Don't apologize to me. I apologize to the daddy long legs and his children. They lost their mommy like long legs in an accident. He's a single dead,

just like on a full house. Whatever happened to predictability, the milk man, the paper boy, the evening TV. Ha! What a weird song. It doesn't make sense. What they're really angry about. Why don't they just throw a fucking beach boy song from that show? I hope that we tell you. Probably Kokomo.

My favorite though is still the perfect stranger song, which is so grandiose for that show. Standey tall on the wings of my dreams, which is a lot for a show about a goofy guy with a funny accent to live up to. Yeah. All right. Well, and that it's got that plaintive harmonica at the end. Well, it really touches your heart. As they run up to the Cub Stadium, right? Yeah.

Rigly feel. Rigly feel. So. Yeah, Rigly, Rigly, Rigly field. So, Rigels, Legos, Rigels, Rigels, Rigels, B. This next letter, Topic, Slower, that's right. She played this. It's from Finn, last name with Held, who writes, last night, I had a dream in which I was jerk man

I had a dream in which I was visiting an elderly relative Dan Stewart and Elliot were hanging out in her kitchen Dan explained of the three of you had started a private detective slash mercenary business together called in why you M which stands for not your usual mayhem Pretty good pretty fantastic the goal and it said you say it yum Because it's delicious The goal in Stuart's words was to make some money kick some ass and maybe get to ride in the helicopter Dan explained that things were a quote off to a shit slow. And the current gig was organizing my ants utensils. Seems like a small jump from mercenaries. New York utensil manipulators. Not going to be named to other

num-jobs have included get a repair and walking someone's dog. Stuart and I talked about, I don't know if he really counted his mercenaries. Exactly. One more handyman. Stuart and I talked about Gene Wolf novels. And it was only after I woke up that I realized Elliott had been wearing a flag jacket and aviator shades the entire time. He looks pretty cool. Thank you.

That's from Finn. Last name with hell. Yeah, you'd be our, you'd be like, we call you specs or something. Well, what's between? It's like brains or something. I'd be brains, but straight or like nerd, call you specs or something. Well, what's between? I'd be brains but straight or like nerd, nerd a bottom or something. I'm the only one of us who's been in like

a real military combat situation, which is weird. You don't know anything about me, do you? You ain't got anybody. No, I did not shoot anybody. I shot a lot of bullets though. Yeah. At targets. And I was very worried that at least the 12 guns were bears.

Those targets were famous. We targets were famous super stores. Have you any? Oh, you know that guy was shooting up all those target super stores? Shhh. Wink. You're right, Stuart. I don't know anything about you. Is that part of your record has been redacted?

Exposed on order of the president. Sure. Okay. So this next letter is. I'll know as you have that plaque that says from a grateful universe. It's on order of the president. Sure. Okay. So this next letter is all I know is you have that plaque that says from a grateful universe. Exactly.

Yeah. I haven't shot as many bullets as you because knives aren't bullets, dude. I shoot them by throwing. You're a regular drag. So I'm looking at this as a three, it's a three page long letter. I would like to discourage people from riding three

page long letters. Well, don't read them then. Well, this is a three page long letter. I would like to discourage people from writing three page long letters, but don't read them then. Well, this is a pretty good one. Okay. So it goes like that. So it should settle in or... Dear Stuart Dan and Elliot, in the order I imagine you standing on an imaginary staircase. After listening to your recent episode on gangster squad,

I was surprised that you made no mention of the fact that the movie was based. I'll be at loosely on a comic book property, especially since your entire podcast, seems to reference that comic book and its characters, using catchphrases, animal sidekicks, names, etc. I refer, of course, to the old FC Publications characters, the peerless pranking peaches. I'm attaching a scan of the cover image from the issue 32 of the flop cat comics title prankster squad One of the many FC titles which featured the peerless pranking peaches by that time simply known as the original peaches Also blows an excerpt from how Finkelstein's chapter on the peaches from his book Fluzies, Flopcats and Fedores The best forgot major comics, which is now unfortunately out of print. It goes quote

It was in 1952 that flop cat comics editor-in-chief Mort Fliegel decided to team up three of his poor selling characters into one team. Duke Wellington, the dapper detected, had been a moderately successful crime. Duke Wellington featuring the adventures of a blue-blooded, crevette-wearing sleuth and his trusty feline sidekick, Sir Mittens Mewington III. Laughing boy Stan McCoy, Hoover's happiest G-man, took a more slapstick slant with the lead character who employed an arsenal of gags jokes and lighthearted hijinks to capture criminals.

And Quentin, Elliot, Devoro Kaelin, or QED Kaelin boy investigator, was a backup feature that even at the time was given the cheap Encyclopedia Brown knockoff, despite the fact it predated Encyclopedia Brown by 19 years. In teaming these three characters together, first as the peerless pranking peaches,

then after a threatened legal action from pranking peats, perfectly peerless peach soda, a popular soft drink and heroin all the day, simply as the original peaches. That popular soft drink and Harlow the day, simply as the original peaches. That's popular soft drink and Harlow? Harlow. Oh yeah, words, okay.

Flingle would give FC had the adrenaline, do you know what else I was talking about here? Oh, yeah. Flingle would give FC publishing its most successful franchise. Soon the original peaches were featuring in over 15 flop cat comics titles from the crime themed prankster squad, the horror title, Vindish Tales from the Flop House of Horrible. Horror title?

Horror, horror. I'm kidding. Sorry. Jesus Christ, use context clues. Use context crayons, guys. It's scene readers. You're not later now. Can I get enough of the trio's mix of intrigue, humor, and educational adventure in his autobiography?

That was something I did. Murtfully remembers. In those days, the original peaches were everywhere. You couldn't pass a street corner or school playground without hearing a group of kids argue over which of them had to pretend to be a QEDK. Which of them got to be QEDK? At the height of their popularity, the peaches would go up against gangster Mickey Cohen, open a house painting business with Frankenstein,

fight over star, maybe just a little faster. The fight over starlet, maybe vandorn. And famously, sock fidel Castro in the kisser, but their success could not last. Public taste was changing, and by the early 60s, the current trend was for spandex, led superheroes with white fleagals attempt to cash it on the craze by having a magical leprechaun, Public taste was changing and by the early 60s the current trend was for spandex glad superheroes Despite legal's attempt to cash it on the craze by having a magical leprechaun

Jeannie named Shazam O'Neal with sto superpowers and outlandish costumes in the trio It seemed the peaches days were numbered in 1963 Rothman brotherford then a day later the answer day, who were swaying Duke Wellington on the original Peach's Pelican patrolling excitement hour. Shot himself in the head 17 times, and the show is canceled. Oh no. How do you do that? And the Peach's were explicitly cited in Dr. Herbert Wormstrung's Selection of the Civil Mided, for leading lifestyles which were according to Wormstrung in opposition to all things

decent and completely contradictory to wholesome living. That's okay fair. That's fair. Suddenly parents were asking if the original peaches were indeed suitable role models for the impressionable offspring. After all, despite many references to girlfriends, fiancees, and eventually even wives, none ever appeared in the peaches, many adventures, and the three men always seemed happiest in their own company. By 1960 times. I mean, we talk about boobs a lot. in the peaches, many adventures, and the three men always seemed happiest in their own company. By 1969.

I mean, we talk about boobs a lot. The original peaches were all but forgotten. And only their spin-off character, the reformed jewel thief and feline from a flanderer, Franklin Leopold Oscar-Printis-Cat, better known as the flop-cat, remained in the public eye. Thanks to a national advertising campaign for a topical hemroyid cream Which used the flop cat as a mascot of those this proved to be a blow to those tones of the characters called credibility The original party animal was cited by Robert Crumb as a major inspiration for his character Fritz Crumb said I was originally going to call it Fritz the dog and then I saw this ad for hemorrhoid cream in the late 80s Visionary British comic scribe Adam Morcock,

a self-confessed peaches fan, penned the 12-part Deluxe Limited Maxi series, How Peels the Peaches, a dark reimagining of the characters, which proved extremely controversial with fans. Wellington, once a swath and cultured man about town, was now a beer and boobs obsessed blue collar every man. They're always upbeat. McElroy.

Jim Belushi type. The upbeat McCoy is revealed to suffer from. Looking for a Jim Belushi type. Grypling Depression. His trademark quips and looked in the last replaced with mournful size and nihilistic fatalism. And as for QEDK on the boy with a computer brain, traits that once seemed endearing were now and simply inseparable instead of sharp-witted, repository of useful facts and figures,

it became a trivia-obsessed bore, constantly quoting obscure data, referencing long forgotten movies, bursting into song and inopportune moments, and trying to patience of all with the most indulgent of fans. So that was the excerpt. I mean, people like to listen to us.

I don't know, it seems. And that was from Null Wren. That was from Name Withheld. Well, I have to say that you did a great job with that letter, Dan. Thanks. That you wrote. There was a lot of vocal gymnastics.

Yeah. Normally would be a problem for you. Normally, and I want to say to ever wrote that letter, that was a lot of vocal gymnastics. Yeah. Normally would be a problem for you. Normally, and I want to say to you, to never wrote that letter, that was a very funny letter, but you almost killed Dan. If he had read that in a normal state, his tongue would have jumped down his esophagus and strangled. No way.

He would have choked on his own vocal. If I had read that in a normal state, it would be not being surrounded by you, too, where I could have done it. You, too two was here. Whoa. And I still haven't found. Get out of here.

Get out of here, Bono. Bono, edge, other members of the band whose names I don't know get out of here. Yeah, Bono, you put your songs on my phone without me asking for them. That was bullshit. Let me just tell you that. That was like if he slipped $20 into your underpants while you were wearing them. And he was like, pretty nice, right? I gave you $20. No, but you put your hand in my underpants. CDs cost $20. That's like a double. Thanks,

Obama. He's going to get two benefits there. My dollars and a hand down your pants. I don't want Bono's hand. No, it's not a good place though. Oh, okay. You're talking the butt. Look, let's leave it up to the listeners imagination. Whatever your part of your bathing suit area, you leaks like having touched by Bono. So when you stick a hand between somebody's butt cheeks, it's called a wedgie, I think.

No, no, it's called Bono. You're flappin' and flappin' and you're like, what else? I didn pushed this to life. I didn't like it then, and I don't like it now. I want to apologize to all the listeners on the... I'm the part of Paul Jones. I like to get potapology. You jumped all over me.

Wow, hoist on my own batard. Yeah. Hot. Hard. So Dan, are you okay? I don't know. That was the point. You seem to be descending into madness. And I don't mean the good madness, the English Skaw band.

No, I looked upon something out of a, a lovecraft tale. And now, but you couldn't come up with a specific reference. Could you? I couldn't even say neckline. I'm not with that. I'm with four. I don't know. The done which. There's a bar. I'm going to look around the door. I'm done with this which. Done. It's about a tan witch. She's done colored.

Done colored. Yeah. So now. Yeah, I'll take a done which. That's the to San which. But it's got a it's a fish man. It's all tentacle.'s the insmith look all right, so What are we doing we recommend a movie that we actually liked in opposition to the movie that we walked away here on the podcast Yeah, that's we recommend a movie liked. Yeah, this is the recommendation segment like movies sometimes We love that Elliott why don't you don't we hate movies just like the title of our podcast? No, that's a different podcast.

Oh, I had it this year made. The dissolved podcast. Slate culture crabs. What's there? Hey guys, it's your podcast co-op. Yeah, WTF culture crab festival. So that was, yeah, yeah, WTF dudes. Hey, who charted?

Hey, welcome to Night Vale, you know, am I right? Doug loves movies Keith and the girl and my brother your brother and him Well, that's it. That's not Wait, what on podcast. It's on our network. Well, I mean, we're not talking. Oh, sorry Did me to step on anyone's towers. I'm not a paid podcast. We're not touring anything.

We're just mentioning things. We're naming things and making them, doing make them up. Well, so this is Lister calls. Dan's got, yeah, we're doing a little audio. It's an audio Lister call. We're buzzing. We're buzzing and we're feeding. You're on the buzzhouse.

Let me read what we can still salvage this podcast. I don't want to talk about it. Let's give it a big shout. We're going to get it Mark and here. So I'll start. Here's a movie I like. And that's why recently it's a movie called The Plumber. And it's a movie that Peter Weir made for Australian television.

Yes, the story of Christopher Plumber. And it's how we started as a plumber. I know. I was actually talking about Peter Weir movies yesterday. And I didn't realize he directed Picked at Hanging Rock. Yeah. That's one of his favorite his.

Top films. And Master and Commander. Yeah. And other shit. Directed many, I mean, directed those roughly 35 years apart and master hanging rock and Command Really long at the edge of the world. He's had a really long career, but you don't know

He's not someone you think of as like like all the new Peter weir movies at he's been making movies can you know consistently for many years But this is one he made after green card. He directed green card, right? I think he did. Yeah. Yeah. That's a weird one. Yeah. The movie that introduced Gerard DePardue to America. So that's he's become our father, the hero, and eventually bogus. It was sad when America realized that Gerard DePardue was bogus.

Totally bogus in fact. And they said, and like, like Frank St. Monster from Monster Squad, they said bulldogs and through them away. And they said, they kicked him the nuts and said, Dr. Perdue has nads? Just like in Monster Squad. Wine soaked pouches. That's too destructive. It's a wine skin, just do it. It's where he keeps his wine. Dude, just do it. It's a wine skin, yeah. Oh man.

Of course, his name means Gerard of Pardew. Now. Pardew. So the movie is called The Plumber. It's a movie that Peter were made after picnic and hanging rock for Australian television. And the thing about it is, it's ostensibly a thriller. This couple, one is a professor at an Australian college in Sydney, I think, and his wife is an anthropologist, grad student who's working on her masters.

Maybe it's a doctorate. One day, this guy who says he's the plumber for their university housing comes in and he's like, oh, you've got a problem in the bathroom. I got to go in there and fix it. And the wife is like, we never called you. I didn't call the plumber. He goes, you got a big problem. This place is going to flood. It's these old buildings. And the plumber is this very talkative, very overbearing, blue-collar guy who wears on his sleeve the hates elites, hates intellectuals. He considers himself like a folks singer, man of the people. and there's something very creepy and overbearing about him. And without him ever doing too much that's openly threatening, you get

this very creepy vibe from him. And so does the wife. And nobody will listen to her that this guy is dangerous as he continues to come in every day, screw up their bathroom more and more, and kind of impose himself on her life more and more until she's forced to do what she can to get him out of her life. And it's one of these movies we're like looking back on it, there's no scenes that are like scare scenes, but there's this level of thriller paranoia that lasts about the whole thing that Peter Weir does. And it's almost like if he said, I'm going to take a similar field of picnic and hanging

rock, and I'm going to make a sitcom about a woman and a Crazy plumber, but I'm gonna treat it like it's this suspense thriller with an almost eerie overtone to it I really liked it a lot so the plumber Directed by Peter Weir and starring a number of Australian soap opera actors of the time Madeline Bruglia. Nope That is the one Australian soap opera. This is not a legend. One of those M's worths. They're out soap operas too. I feel like there's the one in the North. There's like the third one known tie spy. I feel like it's a soap opera guy. They have a sister that's going to be female Thor, right? Yeah, Lady Thor. Well, her name is Lady Thor.

Yeah, she's a Thor, Thor people. She Thor. Okay. So the plumber. So I'm going to recommend a movie that needs no recommendations. So don't recommend it. But it's a movie that I watched recently. A racer head.

It's about a guy who has a baby. That's pretty much what it's about. Yeah. It's a bunch of yucks and uh... When you just really erase her head and three men and a baby have the same synopsis. A man who's unprepared to take care of a child has a baby. There's a ghost in the background of Eraserhead. You didn't notice there's a ton of weird shit flying around in the back of that movie. There's the angel with the big cheeks and the radiator, who sings that weird song. Yeah, it's a... And then the sperm fall out and she stomping on them with her high heeled shoes.

Yeah, it's a weird dream of a movie that is both unpleasant and... Unsort of. Unsort of hilarious in another way. Oh, it's really funny, but it's scary and gross. So if you wanna have a real nightmare of an experience watch race ahead and the most recent criterion DVD release has a bunch of shorts David Lynch

Films I have not been able to watch all of them yet mostly because the granny is like half an hour long Which to me is pretty long for a grannyy, or the grandmother, I think. But that's the length of a television show. I know, I just haven't had time. How many half-hour shows do you watch? I was watching it on the same... I was trying to watch it on the same night I watched Razor Head. I could not get...

Well, that's a fool's errand. But I did watch the alphabet was a great five-minute short that's creepy and inexplicable. It's also a great way to form words. Yeah. You know, for communication, whether speaking or writing. Yeah. And also for the alphabet, try it today.

For math, I recommend numbers. Oh, yeah, you can't go wrong. That's your top choice, man. You were admiting the TV show Numbers? Numbers, three years. Yeah. You were admiting. top choice. We're not the TV show numbers. Numbers. Numbers. Yeah. Recommending more murder by numbers with Sandra Bullock or just the police song murder

by numbers. Yeah. That was based on that was it's weird that that police department decided to release an album. But I guess after Ferguson, they had to do something together popularity back. So I raised her head. Okay. It raised her head. What's she gonna eat with? This is my secret message to kill somebody. I raised her head.

You know what I'm talking about, Barry Wink. Wink. Barry Wink Wink? Yes. So I'm gonna to I'm going to I'm going to be the Baby, baby, Barry Wink Wink.

One of the top babies in the country. But anyway, you were saying Stuart, you had a movie to recommend. So I'm going to recommend a movie. I'm going to recommend a movie called Witching and Bitching. I think that's the English title. The Spanish title is, I believe, L Brujas. Day is Agura Murdi.

I'm gonna fuck this shit up. You already did. So this is the most recent movie by Spanish director, Alex Dele Aglacia. Alex of the glacier. Yep. I've seen a couple of this guys movies, but I, I'm not a big crazy fan. He's one of the Spanish directors from the same school as in your retu and quadon and

my brain is totally so long takes. But he's, he's made a lot of movies. He may, he did that last shirt. He did that last shirt, he got a fair amount of notoriety for movies, his debut, Axiom Mutante, and the day of the beast. And then kind of more recently, I saw 800 bullets, which was quite good.

And his movies are, and Wiching and Biching is similar to a lot of his movies and that it's it manages to balance the intended tone of the movie in this case kind of like a horror movie with a lot of silliness. The plot is a couple of guys, a couple of desperate guys, desperate guys steal jewelry from a pawn shop and in their escape attempt they end up in a famous witch town in Spain near the border of France and of course they run a file of a coven of cannibal witches and they there's some obvious horror beats that come up and they get wrapped up in this big, they get wrapped up in and the detectives that are following them get wrapped up in a big rich wall to find some chosen one. But it manages to be a fairly effective horror comedy

and the conclusion ends up running a little bit long and not every single beat hits, but it manages to be charming enough that it works. And of course, like a lot of his other movies, it manages to feature a conclusion where both like the villains have lost and the good guys have won, but they're all kind of happy at the end. And it has a very jovial tone. So yeah, check it out. All right, guys, do you need me to rub me at all? We were both riveted, both riveted by it. Riveted with exhaustion. That's true, and very tired. And yet somehow I seem to find energy to interrupt Dan. I don't know what it is. It's weird. It's like, you know, like a car with your child, you'd have the strength to lift it up. Do you got ever joke about that?

That boy is a treasure and joy. You can threatening him. What like the tire is on him or like it's any part of the car. It's crushing him. No, like, okay. Like it's just kind of touching him. If he's in a car. Crawled on it to the car, maybe. No, I'll just go get him. Yeah, like a baby's day out. Classic.

What are you boring, day? Officers, we got a classic baby's day out scenario. There's a baby on the loose. He's causing hijinks, almost getting hurt, but then nuts. Yeah. He's like a real Mr. McGill of babies. I said I'd never deal with something like this since the jungle to jungle scandal.

All right. Well, thank you for listening yet again. Who knows why you keep tuning in, but we appreciate you. I certainly don't. For the flop out. 300 rise of empire. I certainly don't. Uh, for the flop out 300 rise of empire rise of an empire rise of the empire rise of an empire. The empire is for a lot of back.

I've been Dan McCoy. I am Stuart Wellington. And I will always be Elliott Kalin to my eternal shame. You never forget it. You know not everyone. I'm Lewis. I'm Lewis. I'm Lewis.

Oh, Tricky is sitting in the sun, Beam. I am Lewis. Because people that wanted to know what's Beto Bailey's sister up to. forgot that was a sped-off. Yeah, which one I know it's no But I'll be the one who's beetle Bailey sister. Lois. Lois. Okay. It's high a person high is the high's it. Yeah, okay It's like short for highland or something is there is there a high and low is where they get a letter About beetle daily being killed in the war? I mean, yes, there is. He's still alive.

When Bailey's still alive, he the Bailey serves at Camp Swampy, which is back on American soil. No, no, no, no. All those stories are from before he shipped off and died. Okay. Yeah. I thought he got killed from friendly fire in Camp Swampy, because it couldn't peel potatoes fast enough. Because he was too busy. Shot him. The general half-track was too busy. Chase, like, missed Buxly around the desk. And his gun went off and shot beetle Bailey through a window.

So just shot him for insomppordination. It was actually Sergeant Justod who did it. He was killed for treason. He was killed for treason. He was stealing secrets from Earth Chinese. Actually Actually much like Jacob's ladder, all the beetle beetle come strip is happening and beetle Bailey is minding the moment he's killed. It's like an incident in an alchrich bridge. Exactly. Yeah.