The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #20 - Jumper

Episode Date: June 22, 2008

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 1:21 - We introduce special guest host, Matt Koff.1:22 - 29:19 - Jump! For my love! Jump in! ...Is a song we'd rather be listening to, than watching the film Jumper, starring Teen Anakin. Skywalker.  29:20 - 33:50 - Final judgments. 33:51 - 39:11 - A little Unbreakable feedback, and Dan hijacks the podcast for his own petty, personal purposes.39:12 - 46:25 - The sad bastards recommend.46:26 - 49:18 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode of the Flop House we discussed jumper, the hard-worming true tale of the inventor to the flop house. My name is Dan McCoy. My name is Stuart Wellington. And I'm Matt Koff. Yeah. Matt Koff is joining us as our special guest, Elliott Kaelin, regular co-host, Elliott Kaelin was going to be here and then his cruel overlords at the Daily Show had him stay late to do something probably much more important than a poorly listened to flop house.

I doubt it. As much as I like to burn Elliott for being a wimp, shouldn't you make it sound like we had intended Matt to be here to make him feel better? Oh, yeah, Matt. Wait, what? I was like, who's a totally sweet guest we can get and I thought my friend Matt cough. Yeah, I figured that's why you only told me an hour in advance. Yeah, 30 minutes into the movie. Let's be totally upfront here.

Matt was good enough to come by and sub in for Elliott. Halfway through the movie, literally. He showed up almost precisely at the halfway point. Which is 40 minutes, I think, right? No, 50 minutes. This film was a trim without credits, 83 minutes long. You're OK. So he got here at 42 minutes in.

He actually got there in here later than that. Jesus. So he's less than half of the film. How do you feel about that, Matt? Well, from what I saw, I feel pretty good. Yeah. Because I imagine that movie was not good in its entire form. That's what the conclusion, the day you want. Yeah, yeah, it's all about... I'll just say that you know...

I saw it and I was like, I don't need to see the rest of this movie. You're not going to go back and... I'm not going to jump back to the beginning. Snap. Pardon me. Because the film that we watched... You can do that. It was jumper. Oh, we didn't even say the name of the beginning. Snap. Pardon me. Because the film that we watched, you can do that. Was Jeper. Oh, we didn't even say the name of the movie.

Yeah, we told it in the thought we missed it. It's a movie you may recall. Start Hayden Christensen. Blahpah's favorite Hayden Christensen. Yeah, he was in a wake, wasn't he? He was in a wake. He played a guy who was awake, even though he's being surgeryed on.

Surgeryed, I'm sure. He was also really good in the Star Wars prequel. I'm not familiar with those films. Okay, we'll talk about them after the last broadcast. He was also in Shattered Glass. Yeah. You know, actually kind of good. He was good in Shattered Glass, but I think the reason he was good in Shattered Glass

is he was playing an irritating character. A character he was supposed to find painful and disturbing. And here, you're supposed to be thinking that he's sort of the hero, but he's still got that weird Hayden Christians in mouth. That strange, like, weird, overbites smile of his that makes you feel uncomfortable. His character is pretty irritating in the movie, though. Yeah. Yeah well why don't you explain a little bit about that Stuart? Well I mean the movie kicks off with Hayden Christensen you know that's not necessarily the best way to start off a movie

as a show of Hayden Christensen but he's standing on top of us the head of the Sphinx which I swear somebody would have seen him like I would imagine there's people looking at the Sphinx. Most of the Sphinx and maintenance workers. Maintenance workers or I don't know, maybe a tourist. Yeah. And they would have seen some jack off walking around on top on the head of the Sphinx and he's like, hey, great. Hang out on the Sphinx and watched a basketball game

from the front row and did a bunch of other really cool shit. Yeah, I need to know. Don't you wish you were me? Yeah, basically. Sons of bitches out there living in. But you know, once, it wasn't always like this. Once I was a chump like you. Wait a minute. I'm a chump because I don't have magic powers.

As a real star, this character has. It's like a person can't have been introduced themselves to you. I remember when I was a loser, like you are. Why don't I tell you my story for two hours? Then I realized I was from the planet Krypton, and your son makes me a Superman. Let me tell you about it. Yeah.

Well, the thing is, they do try and humanize him a little bit towards the beginning of the movie. His mom is left. His dad is a very important and a reporter in the serial killer. You know, he doesn't seem to have a very good life. And his mom's gone right. It's almost as if there's no trace of her. Yeah, she is untraceable. Maybe because she's played by Diane Lane, star of previous flop house film.

Untraceable, get it? Zing. I think you guys are being unfaithful to the context of the situation. Oh man, I don't remember any other Diane Lane mood. I think that if I were in Hollywood land, I wouldn't have green lit this film jumper. Alright, that's all I can do. So the backstory we're providing right now, Matt, you didn't really get to see it, so. Is this coming as a surprise?

I actually went that intro description. I feel like you're just trying to like prank me. I don't believe that's actually how it started. How do you like to imagine the began? You know maybe Hayden Christensen was buying some Nike's and you just fell into a magic well and that's how he got his powers. Nice Nice a magic well in the what a Nike outlet No, no, no, he he went outside Gloria, yeah, he's in puria and he's like I got to test these things at And then he falls into a well. I don't know I know you guys are really putting like Like cross country 90s or like basketball one there's cross trading Cross country 90s or like basketball one cross trading So make sneakers with the pump the pump thing with the low. I don't think those were Nike's though, right?

Those are those are Reeboks Pump yeah, Reebok pump. Oh, they really matters. I don't think it really matters So he's able to jump around and steal shit and basically teleport a lot, right? Um, that's pretty powerful. That's a that's a really powerful ability. Well, I said to you watching the movie like the one thing One of the things the movie gets gets right is it gives you a feeling of how powerful that ability is because of many things he gets right. I I you know, I read X-Men comics. Okay, and I never when reading X-Men comics was like, you know what, if I was any character,

I would be Nightcrawler. Or Lila Cheney. Less popularly cared. Yeah, explain Lila Cheney to the intergalactic teleporter slash rock star from the X-Men comics. She's an intergalactic rock star. I might have wanted to be a hot intergalactic teleporting rock star.

I would have, not necessarily a blue weird guy. Yeah, but with a tail. This movie sort of shows you that holy shit, the ability to just instantaneously go wherever you want is pretty much one of the more powerful abilities you can have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, that sort of works against the movie. I mean, we watched the film Next a while back,

and that was a movie about a guy who always knew what was going to happen next. And that sort of removed the suspense of the film. And likewise, if there's a guy who can basically just, I don't know, jump out of danger whenever he feels like it, I can. And he's attacking guys who are attacking him with like batons and other like relatively slow moving projectile weapons. Like, they're not shooting him with a gun, for instance.

Like, he, if you'll see it coming, just teleport away, right? Well, let's talk about the bad guys because without the bad guys it's just a movie about a guy who can teleport and Go surfing like he's just like I'm bored with what I'm doing right now. Where is there? Where are there awesome waves? Oh Fiji? I can jump there Now what I like to see that movie actually Yeah, you miss that part. Yeah, no, I would have liked to see a entire movie just like yeah, let me just do this now. I just want to see enjoying himself. Yeah, you know, because if that movie was 83 minutes, maybe it wouldn't have been such a disaster, you know, I'd like to see people having fun.

Yeah, I just kind of what's with all this conflict. You know what I mean? That's what I think. It's kind of like a michigast. It's kind of like a Michigan. It's kind of like an 83 minute long episode of Ontarage. Yeah, exactly. Just good things happening to people. Right. Yeah. That's so impossible. Well, the thing is like this guy, we're supposed to sympathize with him.

I suppose because he had a bad childhood, but as soon as he learns that he can jump, immediately he applies his skills to. I would say being a supervillain, and he steals from a bunch of banks. That's pretty much what it is. And we see a shot of him watching Katrina victims being flooded out of their homes and like on top of their roofs and the person on the TV is like oh it would take a miracle to rescue those people now and he's like it goes off and I don't know makes himself a grilled cheese sandwich or something. He jumps to his favorite location of Johnny Rockets

in the same place. Yeah, he's some chicken kickers. Yeah. So I believe his favorite place, which is in Cleveland. Oh. I guess Cleveland. I make really good chicken kickers in Cleveland. It's true. Yeah, like one thing that I was wondering throughout the movies, like he doesn't even walk that many places, like he jumps from location

to location to location. I was wondering, like, wouldn't he get to end up getting fatter? Yeah. Because he's not really doing that like he serves, but other than that, he just goes around and jumps everywhere. Yeah, I mean like I as a normal human, you know,

like I, so you're clarifying that you're not a jumper. Yeah, I'm not a jumper everyone. So any paladins in the audience, please don't try and kill me. But also, I don't have a particularly lazy but also I don't have a particularly lazy lifestyle I don't think I'm not I'm not particularly active but I'm not lazy I got a normal lifestyle but I also go to the gym every month shower at work and yet still I've got a little like beer belly you know I'm not I'm not I'm not cut yes we're like Hayden Christensen well I mean don't you know, I'm not cut. We're like, hating Christensen.

Well, I mean, don't sell yourself short, Dan. Well, I appreciate it. I'm working. Fight the looker. Thank you, both of you. Oh, this is really nice. I shave guys over more often. It's a nice shirt you're wearing, Dan.

So, but yeah, like, I don't know. I mean, there could have been a whole bunch of downtime that they like shot initially. And they're like We have all these shots of him like at the gym and stuff We probably don't need to put this in the movie. It's kind of like Pat again Hey, Christian, he has all notebook. He's like for every jump. I've got to do 20 minutes on the treadmill Or I think more believably is that the act of jumping

somehow allows them to burn up calories and or exercises muscles. Like I bet it's strenuous on the muscles. Yeah, well on your core muscles, specifically. Yeah, I'd probably get a tense up. Yeah, probably. I don't know why I haven't jumped before. Let's speed ahead though too.

Like when I feel like we're leaving mad outs, let's jump joke. Let's speed ahead though, too. Like when I feel like we're leaving Matt out, so let's let's. That's our, I'm going to jump ahead. Whoa. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. A later point in the film when, um, oh, shoot a little bad guy.

Shoot a up. Yeah. That's our entire thing. Well, they call them bad guys. Okay. But I'm really, what do you think? Do you think they're bad guys? I was rooting for them.

Yeah. I was, I was against, I don't know, I just assumed they were overprivileged. You know, who's it? Jumpers? Yeah, Hayden, Christianson, and Billy Elliot. Yeah. Other, jumper number two, I think that was his actual name in the script. Yeah.

Played by Jamie Bell. Best known as Billy Elliot from the movie of the same name the titular role I remember of being so lovable when I saw Billy Elliott now I just know he's what was that movie about like kid who gets hit by lighting or something I can't remember yeah then he can dance yeah he becomes a vaudeville star after being hit by light I love this movie that you're constructing. It's like this hybrid of powder and john and billiard. So billiard and Hayden Christiansen are jumping around. They're basically snobs, right?

Yeah, and Samuel L. Jackson with white hair. And by the way, I really have to argue with this trend in films. I'm just, you know, there's gonna be a bad guy, our main bad guy. We're gonna give him a hair color that is completely anathema to like what is normal hair color. So like, they've got Sam Jackson with like,

Albino white hair. And like, that's supposed to indicate that he is one bad comic book villain style dude that's a really it I was I noticed that isn't it like kitty in or something no his name is like getting you know all you're you're you're imagining as much more awesome than it was the thing was his name was super nerdy his name was Roland that's pretty nerdy Sam Jackson imagine Sam Jackson playing a character named Roland I'm already asleep I'm checking in my brain yeah he is like a team of guys that all have like electric batons what are they called Stewart they're

called paladins I think huh oh it's because they're evil and related to the church, right? Well, this is a thing that I've mentioned. The Billy Elliot is explaining who the Paladins are, and basically what he says is like, they're like religious lunatics. They were the people behind the crusades and the Inquisition. And it felt like such bullshit screenplay shorthand to me. We're not gonna actually establish the villains by showing them doing anything villainous. We're just gonna be like, there's a historical thing in

the past that was bad. These dudes were behind that. Because otherwise like I'm just like, you know what? Peyton Christensen's going around robbing a bunch of banks. I don't know if I object to Samuel L. Jackson coming in and stopping him from doing that. Yeah, it's like saying something like, I don't know, like, hey, remember Genghis Khan? Well, these guys used to go out and hang out with him

and give him my fives and stuff. They totally supported him. They totally agreed with his ideas on raping. Yep. So that's the thing. Yeah, it's like that bullshit of like making, just making stuff up. Like total movie shorthand. It's like giving up guy white hair and you're like, oh, he's got to be the bad guy. They have electric batons. I keep bringing that up. They do have electric batons. One of those electric batons do. I think they shock the jumper. Make it hard for them to do that. That was a great Peter Gabriel song. Shock the jumper.

I remember that one. They also shoot out like whips or something I think. I might have missed that part though. Well you know what? Here's something I want to say. The Paladins can follow the jumper, like they've got a limited window of time where they can follow the jumper through the, like the rip that they make in the space time continuum, which is called like a jump scar, which led to my favorite line of like, unintentionally sexual dialogue. One of the characters said,

I came through your jump scar. I just came across your jump scar. Seems a little, seems a little risque. Yeah. I came across a girl's jump scar once. I just did that, I just did that to get the shocked look on Matt's face, which you can't get across in a podcast. This is a problem. So now I seem like the dick.

Yeah, yeah. So Matt, you came in halfway, maybe two thirds of the way into the movie. With that in mind, did it hold the last third hold together, where you like, I totally understand what's happening I know we have to go home and rent this movie immediately I got to put it on the top of my Netflix you there's somewhere between those two I don't have to go and rent this movie, but I don't really know what's going on I got that they were jumping through time they're not at time space that time is

Space time. Time is back to the future. All right, so, okay. You're thinking of time after time. Right. I'm thinking of Stanley and Iris with Robert and Eurone. Was it? You're thinking of Mad Dog and Glory.

Yeah. Mother jugs and speed. Yeah. You're thinking of uptown Saturday night. I might be thinking of beneath the valley of the ultra-vixons. But I forgot what I was saying. You understood they were jumping around. Yeah, I get pretty much I got it and that was it.

There was really nothing else to get. There was a whole lot of jumping going on. Yeah, it's basically there was just one idea and nothing was added to it for the 40 minutes. That's that. Well that's the weird thing in the movie. Like the movie actually, I have to say, it's it spends a little time like setting up the plot and then it does absolutely nothing with it. We've totally neglected to mention the love interest thus far. Yeah, she's in the Ocea. Yeah, Rachel Billson, summer Roberts of the Ocea. Yeah, she's pretty skinny. Yeah, skinny.

And she got really big eyes. I really had a problem with that. Yeah. I'm really distracting. Betty Boop eyes. Yeah. Put some glasses on. Yeah, miniaturizing glasses. Exactly. Just shrink them. But the thing is, like, she was supposed to be the adult version of the character, the main character had a crush on in high school. And this is something that really bothers me in movies, because I understand why they do it.

I understand, like, from a screenplay perspective the idea of like well okay this is the main characters and one true love. We're gonna set it up and as it true up begins in high school. Yeah exactly. As a kid we're gonna see how progress is but in fucking real life no high school relationship does or should survive in that way. You've totally only needed every single one of our listeners. in that way. You've totally only needed every single one of our listeners. Because our listenership is made up of 14-year-old girls. It's called Sweet Art, it's a 14-year-old girl. Yeah, I hate to break it to you. All 14-year-old girls who are listening to this podcast. I would say it, Dan. The man that you're in love with now is not the man that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. And Lose, he's a jumper. Yeah. Hey.

That's the fucking caveat. That's in the contract. That's in the rules. No, but it really actually does bother me because like I said, I understand story-wise why it's done, but it drains this, like unrealistically viewpoint that Hollywood is selling. Like, yeah, you know what? You guys were just meant to be. It's like, you know what?

I actually don't know that much in common with you. I just thought you were hot when we were in high school. I was kind of hoping a boner, but I've been hanging out with this other chicken while closer to you. Like, they didn't do anything like that, which is what I would have been. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, really tell you the truth, He's kind of like his character was kind of a

dick anyway. So I don't really care if he found true love. Oh, the movie was written by a 15 year old. Oh, it's like that those books about dragons. Yeah. Yeah. Eragon. Yeah. It looks about sexy vampires. Those were in by a 15 year old too. Well, I think there's several series about sexy vampires, but isn't there one series that is like, yes, some teenage like woman? I don't know. I want to read those. I hope. I think it's like I read something like that on the internet. I hope we're written by a teenage girl because if you're older than a teen and you're not a girl, you shouldn't be writing books about sexy vampires.

Says you. Do you think there's already, do you think there's any jumper slash fiction on the internet yet? With Hayden Christians and Billy Elliott. Yeah. Going each other. No, the jumper space. That would be gash fiction, dude. Because that would be homosexual. No, slash is homosexual. I thought that was gash. Fuck, I know this. Yeah, I know that. That's what gash could be.

I've never heard the term gash, but I assume that would be preferring to lesbian slash fiction. That makes way more sense, actually. Now, think about it. So if there's a girl jumper and buffing the vampire slayer They'd be looking so yeah, they'd be having sex with each other like the girl jumper jumps into sunny day. Oh yeah Yeah, and then a lot of screwing and shoes guys well Spiked Jack's up jacks up. I think we're turning metal

Little hot and bothered so do you think they're do you already think there's some of that jumper slash fiction out there? Oh, I think no, I'm at the same lonely 15 year old or 14 year old girl. Who's riding the erotic vampire fiction? She's probably up there riding some hot stories about jumping. Yeah, I'm gonna check that out on the internet tonight. Maybe hopefully there'll be some good picks,

some good drawings. Yeah. I like I like I like weird drawings. So So Dan, what do you think? Before we like get into like the final judgments on this movie, I just want to say something about like the climate. The climate is totally weird to this movie because so well, there's a big fight between uh, jumping McJumperson and- That's our main character.

Sam Jackson. And basically it just ends with, um, him jumping Samuel L. Jackson into the middle of the Grand Canyon. And being like, see, I told you that all jumpers aren't evil, even though like we said he's basically a serial bank robber. And then he jumps away. And Sam Jackson gives this like, oh that sassy jumper look! I think he shakes his head and maybe does a little clap. And I don't know where you believe that he's like, I well he proved his point, I'm gonna give up my quest.

No, it's more of a here we go again. Yeah, and it's sort of like, again, I sort of synthesized more with Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah. And if we really wanted, you know, Hayden Christiansons or BR hero at some point, Sam Jackson would have had to like, try and actually murder someone maybe.

He has, he did murder people. Oh yeah, he didn't murder one of those other jumpers, but that other jumper, as far as we know, that other jumper was the killer. Yeah, he could have been a serial killer. Sure. He looked kind of rough. I'd like to think so. That was the thing, like he really, he kept playing, same old Jackson's character, kept

playing on the idea that like only God should have the power to jump places and stuff. But um, do you think that when he was like ditched off in a cave somewhere in the Grand Canyon with like no way to get out of there? Do you think there was at least even a moment where he's like, dude I wish some jumper came over and helped me out of the jam. I ain't waiting around like, do you ever think of that like like every I think with those peat like the bad guys When they realize that somebody could jump I wonder if they're like man I hate waiting for this fucking subway train I was like it had been like a jumper and jump to where I want to go sure Jemper's they've got a lot of extra time in their day. I think so and I've got like a fucking like one hour commute

Both ways to work not jumpers. Like a jump there. No. They know about mutual funds. They've researched things. They just have a lot of time. They know a lot about different things. You're saying that they use their extra time to better themselves, like they just learn about that.

I don't even think they have normal jobs though. At least the two jumpers we zone, the movie, don't have normal jobs. They just bankrupt. Well, here's the, the like also we're to believe that Hayden Christianston is a better jumper because he leaves IOUs when he robbs banks, but I don't know how he's supposed to pay this money back because as far as we can tell he's just outright spending the money steals. It's not like he's like, all right, I'm going to steal this money that I'm going to invest in. It's something in something high yield you'll have the money to then pay back the bank he doesn't start up like

jumper industries right no no okay maybe that's a sequel that might be the sequel well this movie actually felt like it was really setting up for a sequel you know that's actually that's one thought I kept having it's just like this is this is just really lame and this is just not I feel like they wanted to catch on but there's nothing I don't know who cares who cares about jumping you like to see the jumper sequel That's a good question. I'd like to see more introspection and a lot less jumping in fact I'd be a pretty if there's no jumping You'd be like my if there's no jumping. You'd be like, my dinner with jumpers. Pretty much.

You want more interrespections like the head of the Christmas set. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Interrespections like the Anglea version of the Hulk movie where most of the time it's just like, what happened in my past? What about a Hulk? Exactly.

And looking at a mirror in South hand, that'd be pretty cool. Jumper 2, the thing I totally want is I want a fat sidekick jumper who uses his powers to jump into girls locker rooms to see naked ladies, Allah, the invisible maniac. No, this really cries out to be a 1980s TNA comedy like a up all night style Redondo Louise. I mean I think we could race around the world Maybe Dom Dellies could be in the outtakes in the end. All right. Just as long as he's somewhere. He's been him and ripped Taylor

We that's a buddy movie as long as he's somewhere. Him and Rip Taylor. Wee! That's a buddy movie. Yeah, that would be really awesome. Now, but then that's a thing like any time there is a superpower in a movie. I'd always like to see that superpower applied to, you know, taking girls close off. So if it's like somebody shoots laser beams out their eyes,

use those laser beams to shoot off a girl's dress. So loop, yeah. Control magnets, use those magnets to remove a girl's dress, things like that. So you didn't put forward what you want in the sequel, Dan. Yeah. Or prequel. What the hell, buddy? The animated prequel. The Clone Wars. Oh God, what would I see in the sequel? I don't know. I think that he would just start like a jumper of tours.

Like, okay. There would be a group of maybe five people that would take around and be like, in five seconds, we will be on top of the sphinx. And here we are. And I don't really know anything about the sphinx, but we're on top of it right now. And now we are on the Great Wall of China. And it's a long wall.

And now we're on the moon. We can't breathe here. So let's keep it moving. I don't know, there's more of a travel log than'd like to see I'd like to see an evil alien jumper show up Who uses his powers for evil But he's an alien because he's get green skin and big eyes. What if Robin Williams was a jumper? That would be hey That's a question the Doug Lyman didn't ask is creative team.

Ah, yeah. There would be a lot of, there would be a lot more stock characters jumping around. It'd be like the flamboyantly gay jumper. Exactly. And there would be like sort of like 1970s black Panther jumper. Right. And the incredibly old Harry comedian jumper.umper. So yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was...

So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was...

So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was...

So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... So, yeah, that was... Let's give our final judgments and for the benefit of Matt and people who may not have listened to a lot of episodes, I'll run down the categories again. This is a movie that was a bad, bad movie, a movie that you would not recommend for any reason. A movie that was a good, bad movie, a movie that you thought was bad in a funny way in some way or a movie that you actually kind of like.

You thought there was something redeeming about it without ironing so Matt I know that you only saw the last half of it based on that what would you say? I don't think it's the worst movie that I've ever seen I just want to make that clear but I do think it was a bad bad movie. Yeah. I feel like the ending was really lame. I don't know, it's just like it wasn't really funny enough. Didn't have any charm to it. There's no jawad the V-Roy. Yeah, there was no...

We could French, dude. Exactly, I don't know. I just didn't find any kind of warm, third humor. I just kind of, you know, I just like, I didn't know anything about the characters, but I knew that I hated them. I'll just put it that way. No matter what side in the war they're on. Exactly. And I just automatically... The jobpers and paladins.

Yeah, I automatically took the side of Samuel L. Jackson. And he was the bad guy. That's... That was those bad moves. Is he end up losing, I think? No, I know. So if you put money on him, he'd be out. Well, he'd be out money.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And that's the thing I just I end up coming out the loser in every aspect with this movie. Yeah. Bad, bad movie. That's Matt Coffs' vote. Yeah, I mean, I think part think part of that like I think right before you came in we'd pause the movie and we're like No, we're talking about I'm like, you know what this isn't that bad like I think it's okay

I'm kind of getting into it. I'm kind of enjoying it Like obviously I thought the character was annoying, but whatever, like, it's interesting. And then, yeah, then the rest of the movie is just kind of overly fast and boring. And yeah, it just felt like they're like, hey, here's the movie, okay, okay, okay. Now we're done. Like, there's no real conclusion there. So what my, I guess a lot to say it's a bad, bad movie because I didn't really enjoy it that much. You have to believe that there was a full two hour cut of jumper somewhere that just wasn't released.

In my dreams and in lose sketchpad. Well, here's the thing, like I agree with our one time co-hosts, our guest host, Lou Fernandez, who said that the first 40 minutes of jumper were pretty entertaining because you know with all the fun that we've made of the fact that Hayden Christiansen's character was completely immoral and was like you know what I'm gonna do with this power is I'm gonna rob a bunch of banks like part of me thought that was kind of awesome like oh yeah you know what yeah that's what you would do Dan yeah if I had no worries about repercussions sure why not rob a bunch of banks but then after 40 minutes after

the setup after showing the premise of like oh this guy's a teleporter and and let me show you how he discovers that and what he does with it. Then as soon as the conflict comes in, it just becomes, I don't know, completely roach and it doesn't make any sense. And I don't know why these people are after these other people and why I need to root from one group of people over another. And every bit of dialogue is directly tied into a plot point later on in the movie. Yeah, I should, yeah, ultimately. Again, this is like my Dragon Wars review where I'm just like, if you, we just watch the parts that are about Dragon Wars, you might enjoy it. If you have like 40 minutes to kill before you, you're meeting your buddies

at the bar or something, like the first 40 minutes of jumper comes you you're meeting your buddies at the bar or something like the first 40 minutes of jumper comes on HBO. Not the last. Yeah you can be fast-time with that. And then as Lou said, then draw the rest. Yeah. Yeah. Draw the adventures of jumper. Imagine what adventures jumper will have. What sights he will see. So let's put that down. Man, there's three bad ones, three thumbs down for jumper. Yeah. I think we gave more thumbs up for the Brad's movie. Speaking of lieu, I wanted to say um he sent me a message about untrasable that I thought was worth repeating. He was talking about um what he wanted to see and untrasable was like he was one of the bad bandwidth cost of having 30,000 come kill

with me audience members downloading a streaming video of the murder would cost him. And like who's funding this killer? You know? Yeah it costs a lot of money right? Yeah man. I don't know the internet very well but I would imagine that equals dollars. And then also like if there was another guy sharing the same server, you know, like a guy was just like,

oh, this is my Garfield fan fix either. Or whatever. Jumper slash fix, I think. And then the FBI shuts down, kill with me. And eventually emailing the guys, like, what were you hosting on your site? Why did the FBI shut it down? And I thought that was a good point. Maybe a nerdy point, maybe a point that only someone

who works in sort of an IT field as a loophole would come up with, but worthwhile nonetheless. Yeah, so intracable wasn't very good, right? Yeah, it was a bad one. But the point is, the point that I'm trying to come up with is my birthday is weak, Stuart. Oh, shit. Oh, forgot to get you. Oh my god. What did you get me? What? Did you get my birthday? It's not your birthday's not today. Is it? Well, it is in half an hour. Okay. day is it? Well it is in half an hour. Okay. Can we stop the podcast for now? You got to tell me on the podcast what you got me from my birthday. Okay, I got you a gear

certificate to Sephora. I don't know what that is, but it sounds great. It's a perfume store. It's a perfume store. Oh, you can get some concealer. I want to get a signature scent. Yeah, you should be a signature I want people to like without seeing me you just smell like a musk dance coming. Yeah, like a like a pheromone musk Macoff Did I get you something? Yeah, let's have it out there. Well, I'm a guy who likes to keep my cards close to my face. So I'm not going to say. Sure.

I may have gotten you something, but I probably didn't. You know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say right in front of all 100 something of our podcasts. Let's just say it. I don't believe either of you got me anything for my birthday But I'm gonna throw it out. I'm gonna throw it out to the podcast people. Okay, I'm gonna say I

am currently accepting gifts from you guys and I don't want I'll be frank I don't want you to spend any money on me. I don't want you to spend any money on me podcast audience, but you need them to no podcast audience, but you need them to know I don't Whatever you can send to me via the medium of the flop house podcast at gmail.com. Oh, yeah, send it like an envelope of If you just hair no, that you can't send Over you can do that through the flop house podcast at gmail.com. Okay. However, there's an attachment. Well, as an attachment, if anyone, if any listener to the flop house wants to send me

like a poem or a short story, what about a scarf? Yes. Well, they want to digitize, if they want to scan a scarf and send it send it to me as a as a JPEG that would be a lot of help to you Yeah, I well I could well I could look at the design and maybe knit my own based on that What would it turn into a scarf like a scarf from the money for nothing video from my dire straits like we're like Computerized scarf that you can turn on your neck definitely I have that power Anything they could be as a attachment nude photos scarf that you can wear on your neck. Definitely. I have that power. You just really want to do anything. Anything that could be as a attachment.

Newed photos. OK. Newed photos of yourself. Yeah. I can do more others. I encourage you to send. I promise not to post them on the web, but would appreciate them.

What if there was an accompanying note that said that you should post them on the web? Well, if there was a man for it, a domain, okay, sure. Maybe. I think I would have to set up another domain. I don't want to turn the FlophousePodcast.blogspot.com and do a porn site per se. Per se. There is a photo of former Flophouse cohost house coho Simon Fisher in a very small bathing suit on the

West. Suggestive. Yeah, that was the. Yeah, that's the URL for that. The flop house podcast. All right. Dot blog spot dot com. I'm gonna check that out. But yeah, I promise any nude photos will be kept private. Do we forget a part of this thing or are we? No, I'm just taking it as a do uncharted waters. This is a new segment. I'm scared, Dan. This is a new segment called, Dan Demand,

some recognition for his birthday. OK. So there you go. So send attachments. Send attachments of not viruses, please. No, sure. Please not viruses, but yeah. So it's a shameless demand. Oh, well that out of the way.

Yeah, really. God. So Dan, you like movies, right? You watch movies everyone's watching. Sure. OK. I'm really with you. Yeah, we just got done watching a movie.

You didn't like that much. What was that movie called? John Burr. John Burr. I don't recall that much. What was that movie called? Jumper. Jumper. I don't recall that. Yeah, it's probably better. But with that in mind, the movie didn't just watch. Have you watched any movies lately that you do like?

I did watch a movie lately that I enjoyed. I watched actually several movies lately that I enjoyed, but I'll keep it to just one. Yeah, keep it short. I watched a film called P2. OK. Just short, I believe, for parking, too. Okay. It's a movie. Well, I'm glad they didn't call it parking too because I wouldn't. It's too long. Too

characters. Pretty pithy. It was a movie that did not get a lot of good reviews other than Roger Ebert actually gave it a fairly good review and so did the New York Times, but in general it got ignored But it's a good thriller. It was co-written by Alexandra Aja who did a high tension. Yeah, I believe he produced it as well and it stars Rachel Nichols and West Bentley who you may remember as the guy who videotaped the plastic bag in the American beauty. And it's a movie about a worker holic who on Christmas Eve, she gets locked basically in the

parking garage of her building and is terrorized by the parking attendant who was obsessed with her and in love with her. It's kind of like the Scrooge story, right? It's exactly like. It's also like the best Christmas pageant ever. It's the same. Oh, no kidding. Basically, is that true? Aside from the fact that it has Rachel Nichols

and a slip, right, most of the movie, and she says she's an attractive one. What's a slip? It's an under thing. It's like a night gown. It's a under thing. It's like a nightgown. It's a nightgown. It's the thing that women wear underneath, beneath their outer clothes sometimes.

Oh, okay. I don't know. I'll check this out. I'm not familiar with this concept. No, I'm not. But I liked it because one thing about it is it sort of passed like the die hard test where, you know, like one of the good things about die hard

is Bruce Willis' character doesn't try and take out the terrorists until all the other sort of avenues are closed to him. And this movie does a good like thriller construction job of saying like basically there's nothing else that she can do. She has to deal with this guy and this is why she's trapped and it all makes sense. But also, like another B movie that I enjoyed, Red Eye, not a great movie, but a really solid B movie. It has a female protagonist

who's like this super competent woman executive who does everything right. And that makes the thriller that much better because you're you're never like why is this character doing this thing that doesn't make any sense you know like she does everything that you think someone should do in that situation and still like the little screws are turned on her yeah I just and red I just felt bad for the bad guy like yeah just kept getting his ass kicked yeah like from like five minutes in, like it's just bad for him.

Yeah. That was kind of funny though. That's like, another West Craven. That's like what I liked about the original scream was just like, how the killer in that movie just kept sort of getting, like knocked on his ass. Yeah. CGI plants hit him in the carotid stuff. Sure. I think he's

swung from vines with CGI. So Matt have you seen any good movies lately? Well my Netflix queue has been taken up the past few months by one big movie. Well, not really a movie. A documentary, the New York documentary by Rick Burns. Okay. And I enjoyed a lot. I just got through the part about Robert Moses and his Title I project. How they kind of ripped through New York building, you know, tearing down slums and displacing people from communities. It's kind of a downer actually, but yeah, that was very interesting. And now the next disc is going to be about September 11th, which is that they actually did.

The main documentary was done in 1999. They did the eighth part after that. So you remember 9-11? 1999 they did the eighth part after that so remember 911 yeah apparently they show bodies following I don't know I realized halfway through that description I didn't have anything funny

no no but I mean it's question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question.

I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question.

I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. I'm saying the question. with September 11th is like the comic book cover of Captain America crying silhouetted above the two towers burning or something. Wasn't it really moving? That's how I remember it.

Wasn't Dr. Doom crying too? Probably. I mean, if I was to do, my own cry. My friend Dave Fox has a good bit about like that. He's like, yeah, Dr. Doom was crying in this September 11th comic. And he's like, your, your Dr. Doom, your aim is to kill everyone. Why you? Is it, but like, maybe it's some friends in like the Latvian embassy

in the pow trade center. That's probably what happened. Latvian. Latvian. Latvian is an actual... Latvian is not. Wait, didn't ultra... I don't know, I don't want to talk. Why do you just recommend something rather than alienating audience? Yeah, really. It's Jesus.

I want to recommend the movie Stuck. It's the most recent Stewart Gordon movie director of Reanimator. It's currently in theaters and it is about a guy who's recently becomes homeless, played by Stephen Rhea, my general Ray, whatever. And he gets hit by Minasuvari's car. Minasuvari has very nice, like, braids in the movie. Cornrose. Cornrose. Cornrose. And she hits him with her car and he gets stuck in her windshield

and she gets scared, so she parks her car in her garage and leaves him there pretty much to die. And that's when the fun begins. But it's like while you all see our Gordon movies, it's really good at making you feel uncomfortable about the gore and the violence. And it's also kind of funny, it's darkly humorous. Yeah, so it's good, I totally recommend it.

Hooray! Yeah. Woo! So, well, that's, I guess, you know, I want to, before we go, I want to say that- It's your birthday again. You want to bring it up? Yeah, it's 15 minutes.

Yeah. 15 minutes till your birthday. So I actually don't want to bring it up. Oh, okay. Because I'm aging. But sure. But we all are. We're all aging, too. Yeah, but I don't only care about myself, Matt.

That's what you got to understand about me. But what I did want to say is that you're like a jumper. Yeah. I wish I could jump back. They can't do that in the movie. They can just jump through space. So what did you want to talk about, dude? I didn't want to say that people should go to

the Flop has podcast.blogspot.com and they should I put up a video version of one of the previous movie minutes You can also see allias In another appearance on the daily show. So there's all there's always a lot of things to see on the website. And if you have anything else you want to say to us, not just gifts for me. You can send it to the Flophouse Podcasts at gmail.com. And maybe we'll answer any questions or concerns on the show. We probably will, dude. Yeah, we've got a lot of time to fill. Yeah, so I just want to say thank you to Matt for coming in Unexpectedly, you know, like we called him like an hour before he showed up

To come in and see the last half of the movie and Talk about it Right. Oh, by the way, I had a question for you. Where did you get the name for this podcast? That's true. Matt cough is responsible for the name of this podcast. What jumper? Yes. This podcast called jumper. No, the flop house. This guy over here. That's right. Good guy over here. This flop has the win. So if you wanted to... So you get some of our profits?

If you wanted to put a voice with the name, you've done it tonight. So, for the flop house, I want to say, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm just to the St. Matt Cough. Good night, everybody. Bye. Oh, yay. Yes, to this natcof Good night everybody

So didn't Ultron kill everybody and let Vary or something? I'll put mine over here. Yeah, let's get started. The hands looking tired. Yeah, that is looking tired. That's looking 30. Oh my god. Almost 30. Almost 30. What's the highlight of the burn? I think that's what the podcast should be about because I have nothing to say about Jemper. Do your bones creak when you move?

I'm the fuck up.