The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #46 - Obsessed

Episode Date: September 27, 2009

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme0:34 - 4:14- We engage in a hilarious bit about how everyone spent last weekend.4:15 - 28:26- Race-baiting mixed with Fatal Attraction seems like a recipe for trashy film fun.  And yet, count the times that Dan sighs wearily, while discussing Obsessed.28:27 - 30:30- Final judgments 30:31 - 34:30 - Movie Mailbag34:31 - 39:24 - Inspired by the final letter, we segue directly into a special older "bad movie" edition of sad bastards recommend.39:25 - 43:37 - Which, in turn, devolves into a discussion of T&A comedies.43:38 - 46:15 - A plug from Elliott, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

In this episode we discuss, obsessed, the movie that tries I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot K. Lynn, don't you know. So guys, I don't know about you guys, but I had a really exciting weekend last weekend. What happened? So guys, I don't know about you guys, but I had a really exciting weekend last weekend. I uh, oh what happened You know, I went up I went up state to a sculpture garden Oh, that sounds cool. I bought some new shoes in an outlet mall. Oh night. Do you got a good deal on those? Yeah, yeah Just really exciting sure. I bet you did something exciting. I have a lot of sex That's always fun. Yeah, yeah, it was really good. I was like I was like spent like totally wow like yeah

It was like I had to stop and drink some gatorade in the middle. That's memorable Yeah, but Ellie don't worry about it. I think the thing is gonna work out for you at some point Yeah, I didn't have such a great weekend just just out of curiosity What what did you do last weekend? I'm not a lot Daniel and I were at a town just kind of visiting friends but Danielle and I were at a town, just kind of visiting friends. One the 2009 ME for Best Writing for a Comedy Musical or Variety Program. And then I finished Alan Moore's voice of the fire.

I think we're gonna take you back. That's pretty good. So before that one more thing, just like step back a little bit. Oh, you've read voice of the fire already? No, no, we'll talk about that later, but the thing before that what we say well we were at a town we're visiting some friends now but later

uh... people in different college daniel sister and her boyfriend who's a daniel again uh... my fiance uh... okay that makes a lot more sense because i thought you're just mispronouncing dance name no no dan what had his own a dan had a quite a weekend yeah out you got the shoes?

No, I think they're upstairs. I'll stay it. It's in between. It's pretty good. Yeah, you did. I don't think, like, when I went to a reddit town, visited some friends, won an Emmy, finished the Alan Moore book. Now, that's where I'm going to stop.

Came back in a town. Because I think it seems to me that winning an Emmy, what's an Emmy? Wait, we can say it's an Emmy. No, an Emmy. It's an award. It's the highest award in television. It doesn't really mean anything. Are them a daytime, Emmy? Well, they're the same award, but different levels of programming. Again, same award for different types of programming. Mine happened to be a prime time Emmy, which means we went to Dewey Hauser, and we went on stage, and I was on television, and there's a picture of me in Hollywood Reporter with my boss, and talk to the press a little bit. These things happen. It's work. I guess I'm just going to throw out those shoes then. Yeah, ways that I bought. No, those are good shoes. I'm going to hear about this story. No.

So what kind of you said they were patent leather? What color are they? Those shoes? So I'll get a few insoles. I noticed that you're wearing your Emmy around your neck. Yeah, it's a little heavy. And flavor-flavestyle. Yeah.

Well, is that the world she's holding up? I think it represents an atom with electrons going around. Because television is the harnessing of the electron to see images it was designed in the in the late forty so you know it has this kinds of this kind of our atlas atlas no no she's kind of like an angel with lightning bolt wings giving and those are sharp watch out uh... holding the holding the atom out in the electron it's it's a beautiful

piece of work anyway so these shoes Yeah, that sounds amazing Probably wear them to your wedding Yeah, next year I mean, it's it's been kind of a humdrum summer for me I got engaged then a couple of months later. I won an Emmy Stuart. You said you were doing it a lot Yeah, I lost sex. I shot an assault rifle. Got a tattoo.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. If shoes were just going lower and lower and lower. No, I mean, are those other ones you're wearing now? Those look nice. Yeah, I'm just going to throw these out. But anyway, we watched a movie tonight.

Guys, I was like, oh, yeah, right? Oh, my god, I forgot. It's not all Amy's and fucking. No, it isn't. It's not just a business. Yeah, yeah. And's not all Amy's in fucking. No, it is not. It's not just business. Yeah, yeah. And tonight the business was we watched obsessed. Or as I assume, what was called in the script stage,

white girl gonna steal your man. Yeah. This would have been, if it was that kind of movie with that kind of title, it would be a far better movie. Well, I mean, I think it was titled, Untitled Idris Elba Project. Like, it seems like that's all there is to it though like because because the movie is so boilerplate

thriller failure fraction knockoff the only thing about it is like the race beating yeah well that it's black a black man and a black woman who are married and a white woman tries to steal the black man okay so that's pretty much the whole plot right yes i've just told you the entire plot of the film and then and then she it like there's a cat fight the end there's a fight and at the end of the crazy

white girl does and yeah and she is no match physically yeah for the white Beyonce who's played by let's just say it recording superstar Beyonce no's yeah mhm this is what name is singer Beyonce. She's had a very quick arc in in movies from Pink Panther to the Academy Award nominated dream girls to Obsessed Like it takes some actors years to have an arc like that. Yeah, you mean a way to arc that keeps going up

I I mean, the way to Nark that keeps going up. Uh, I guess it's not really an arc anymore, right? She's basically had the career of Peter O'Toole, the entire career condensed into, I guess, two years, three years. Yeah. I mean, I will expand upon the story of this, just a little more. And I really mean just a little more, because it's basically what you imagine. Idris Elba and Beyonce have what appears to be...

You may know Idris Elba, better as as stringer bell from the wire. Oh, yeah Oh, I thought it was and he was like that weird to be in this movie. I thought it was the character he played in the hit film prom night We're also playing stringer bell right different parts. No, what he wasn't a detective in that wait stringer bell's not a policeman on the Y Yeah, I understood the wire mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, Yeah, it's like it's as they ordered a large popcorn That's what they're doing with their child a lot of child to go around. That's what child child raising is Elliott that basically they have they have the perfect life. Yeah, and then two modern R&B tunes at times and Other times pop standards. Yeah until Allie Larger shows up as a temp. Oh, she shows up like five minutes into the movie though

shows up as a temp uh... she shows up like five minutes in the movie well but there was so much of you know them running through their new house and having sex in the attic and uh... they had sex in this movie it's implied they didn't really show it man but yet allie largar shows up and she has the hot for idris whose name in this is what david Gregory now that's that that's the NBC news game Dexter Stevens on Stray Gregory on Jerry Charles to first name to

first name to fucking do no he plays Derek Charles she is the temp and she is quite a temptation to him except that she isn't he's kind of vaguely attracted to her at first in a hypothetical way and that disappears. Yeah, and that they share a little instant message chat at one point. Yeah, it's more like they're friendly. And she being crazy mistakes that for love and she goes crazy and things are having an affair, but they're not. And she goes to greater and greater heights to steal him away from Beyoncé, his true lady love

and once she is rebuffed at one point she uh... she a robust to suicide star transformers and uh... then when she tries to commit suicide the answer becomes aware of the non affair that's been going on is afraid of telling the unsaid that this girl is it coming on to him because it's insanely jealous and well big issues and change saintly jealous and because as his friend garyo connell who's a co-worker tells him she's gonna assume the worst so don't

tell her you know just like a lady so it's a big explosion no no no that would have made it much more exciting film with the explosion there's a lot of emotions let's just say let's say a controlled detonation of explain of emotions yeah the emotions gently tumbled the floor allie larter attempt suicide beyond say finds out finally she and the showman with listener at home that rumbling you heard was not a quick that occurred during the podcast It was steward pushing his chair back to go get a drink of water. I just wanted to clarify. That's how horrible this movie was, is that steward

is not drinking beer right now, but instead of water, in an attempt to sober himself up. To never, to remember never to do this again. Let do another podcast. Yeah, I got to steal at my courage because i'm going to tell you guys later uh... we have to have a talk okay but anyway they there's a and this is what a police detective played by what was it christian christian lawy she comes in to investigate the suicide and decides to investigate it yourself as supposed to fair even though no crime has been committed that's a thing apparently like when someone tries to commit suicide and they don't deny that they were the one that they can we're trying to commit suicide that

Detective will just then hang out and just sort of poke into people's personal lives Get to the bottom of it eventually it becomes clear alley-larders crazy. I think she was there unofficially to be honest I think it was more just like just a hobby air hobby is checking in on be honest i think it was more just like just a hobby air hobby is checking in on suicides yeah well she's she's moonlight she's writing a book on the side yeah you know called how to irritate people like like a like a paperback urban romance yes that the home movie ends with a allie larger and Beyonce having a enormous cat fight through the house that ends with a lot of allie larger falling to her death and being crushed by a chandelier.

The end. Everyone's happy. And it ends literally for each phrase after that happens. Yeah, he's free to cut to Beyonce's own. He's free on Beyonce's face and half of it was elbow's face. As they hug moments after she stumbles out of the house with her own blood or on her face.

And it's a wrap great work people Right party. We did it And this is a terribly boring film. Yeah, no, they're probably there. There are probably some really sexy seduction scenes, right? Not really because most of the seduction scenes were just allay-larger looking weird and Idris Elba shouting at her It was for people who had a skeleton and loud noises fetish. Mm-hmm. There was a sed... Yeah, she appeared...

She gets into his car and is wearing a trench coat with... Launch a ray under it. It's the kind of launch ray that like... She aggressively pops her trench coat open. Like not... Not like sexually like reveals. She's just like... It's like an explosion of...

I'm just like her like throwing her arms out and thrusting our pelvis forward and She is not the curviest woman and the laundry they have her in is the most conservative lingerie I've ever like yeah Londray some v-trailer quality laundry where they're like we want to show some Seduction in this trailer Better put on the granny panties It's the kind of lingerie where like if you were at the silver dollar saloon at Disney World and there's a joke that involves a woman's dress being pulled off, that this is the underwear

she would be wearing underneath it, something that's family friendly. You know, I don't even think that the panties match the bra. That was the other thing. I'm not sure. They look like they came from two different sets like costume coordinator. I was like, hey, here, you you know I have this from this I mean the fact that a lot of time looking at panties and procedures uh... women

not yeah of course we're I mean what like like I'm like a like a homemade homemade girl that I made out of trash bags and hair for these he's saying of course there's a real girl shot he's saying as opposed to just shopping for lingerie. Yeah, just looking through catalogs. Yeah, well, I mean, shopping is kind of a strong word for it. I mainly just walk around and smell them in the department store, but they didn't look like they were actually like a set.

No, no, no, she got them out of the mix and match barrels and marshals. With the marshals. Oh, okay. Yeah, she went down to Antaylor and she just was like, oh, these panties were on sale and this bras on sale. I'll go seduce Idra Selba. Maybe waiting in line at Century 21 to get a hot deal. Yeah, yeah. And later she wears, she wears the weirdest clothes.

She wears a dress that like, it's a tight red dress except for the back where it's got two really loose straps so it looks like she's wearing like fireman's pants without a shirt on underneath it's very weird like like overalls like overalls like there's something attractive about a woman wearing overalls with nothing underneath there's nothing there was nothing attractive about this dress okay let's say a hillbilly charm yeah exactly you're like the feeling that you're not attracted to alley-lard her i she is very bony sure and also made of bones yeah i you know i i i feel like i find her the most attractive of the three of us mm-hmm but even i feel like she's a miscaste in the role of a seductress because she just looks strained and pointy i think you said she should be playing the assistant to like a senator's assistant yeah like it in a in a role where she was required to be sort of uptight

should be sexy because you'd be like oh she's gonna let her hair down yeah exactly like but here her hair's down from the beginning or like an ice which we asked to battle the care of the good role she should be sexy in that role. But it's also like, his Beyonce is, you know, one of the, is it very, her be sexy woman. She's, she's, she's, they had to invent a stupid word to describe how attractive she was. So it's an interseller that has obviously has a type.

And then you said Beyonce that, that Ali Larder does. And there's literally, like,-lard are literally has no chance like that no yeah there's no moment in this movie where it yourselves characters like well you know maybe so he's dead set against the entire time so it's clear it gets to it is he allows her to get him drunk at the christmas party which leads to them sort of uh dancing little sexy together. That's the that's the provocatively He is willing to go and then he pulls back completely. Yeah, and then she assaults him in a men's room stall Which was really hot right guys? Again, there's nothing she raped at one point. Yeah, there's nothing about that

There's a lot there's a lot there a bunch of movies where people have sex and bathrooms I know this happens in real life too. Sure. But it always seems strange to me because it's like, you know where I want to do it? The place where people pee and defecate. Well, I mean, that's great. Usually when I'm having sex in a bathroom,

I mean, that's what I'm thinking about. Oh, okay. I'm in public restroom like the floors are. I thought that was great. The floors are ones that I'd want to stand on while having sex. I thought you were going to say that's when, usually the windier going to the bathroom, you're thinking about people having sex and that stall. Well, yeah want to stand on while having sex. I thought you were going to say that's usually the win-year going to the bathroom.

You're thinking about people having sex and that stall. Well, yeah, or there's somebody having sex on the stall next to me and I'm like, keep it down, everybody. I'm trying to take a poop. Oops, there's another one. You crazy kids. I thought you'd be putting a cup up to the wall to hear better. Intersevalva goes- It helps me poop.

It helps me focus on getting the whole poop set. Inter all but this is the classiest fight. Yes ever. Interest of that is and his co-workers go on what he calls retreat but then it's clearly a sales conference. Yeah, it's not a retreat. They're hanging out and oh no, Halle's there and she puts a roofie or something in his drink. Yeah. And then is sneaks into his room while he's not well not even knocked out but just kind of like woozy and It's implied rapes him but on screen she just kind of runs her hands over his hands and Keep saying like

How does that feel is this good? And then like my shoes yeah, but like a very light masseuse Oh, yeah, but it's like she doesn't like even she is not that interested It's like that scene in 40 days and 49's where Josh Hartnett makes Shan Saasman reach climax by blowing flowers across her body It's that sexy, right? Yeah, exactly and sometimes we're gonna force you to watch that Which is also a movie that features a dude getting raped by a chick that is completely not addressed Well, let's talk about that because because even as it was going on,

I said, it was Albert gets raped, it's implied, but then doesn't remember it in the morning because of the roofies, doesn't even like seem like he thinks that that might happen. So he's not traumatized by it or doesn't feel guilty about it. Yeah, and so it doesn't serve that purpose in the plot. And then later on when Beyoncé thinks that he's sleeping with Ali Larder there's no scene where the doctors are after the suicidal like uh we did find that she just had sex with this guy

we swabbed her out yeah it's yours some reason yeah so like there wasn't there's no reason yeah it's just something that's uh brought up to make you feel terrible and then drop and it's strange because otherwise This movie is so intricately put together Every little piece has something to do with it like when she attacks him in the in the bathroom stall at the Christmas party And he wants none of it. He leaves and the song they're playing as he leaves wild thing She was a wild thing wasn't she there a couple others like that T-bone burn out just the things that are very on the nose wasn't she? There are a couple others like that. Like a T-bone Burnett. Just the things that are very on the nose.

But, you know, you're joking about how like, it's intrigently put together, but the thing is like, yeah, the movie is so obvious that you wouldn't imagine that someone would just be thrown in for no reason. Especially something that distasteful would be brought up and then dropped in a movie where like, I mean, she doesn't even know if it's like, leverage or anything, like, it's crazy. No, well, she just doesn't for pleasure. And then, yeah, I mean like I mean she doesn't even know if like leverage or anything like No, well she just doesn't for pleasure and then yeah, I mean I think they were even considering not putting it in the movie

And they're like, oh, but this is so sexy We need this heard for all the guys out there who dream of getting roofed by allie LARGARRE and then lightly touched yeah lightly caressed by allie LARGARRE It's basically it's their version of the sex scene from don't look now Yeah, exactly. Wait, is that the scene with the killer dwarf in it? No, that's not the scene with the killer. Oh, or Lord, he's steward.

Dude, if that makes one person not see that movie, I'll fucking put my jaw up. I don't know, they'll miss that on Donald Sutherland just walking around naked. Very casually. Very handsome man. Very mustache-yode. Very 70s hair. There's a lot of down on the southern part of Vegas. Body hair. Yeah, well he was the part of the animal house.

He was the Harvey Kitella of his day. The butt shot. Yeah. But that's for a joke. Yeah, well, yeah, it is for the Kevin Bacon joke. Yeah. I have to say. He was the Kevin Bacon of his day.

Yeah. This movie, like, I don't think I've signed so much while watching a movie. Yeah, it's a very, it's a very boring looking, boring, dull, obvious movie. But it's straightforward. Yeah. Yeah, it is very. Well, we did not miss anything while watching it. I have to call you in listeners. I admit that we talk throughout the movie and make jokes. Uh, less cracks. Jokemups. Uh, walking. Uh, and I take a bunch of notes in my notebook. throughout the movie make jokes. Lies cracks, joke them ups. I take a bunch of notes in my notebook. I put up my reading glasses.

It still looks very closely. There's a scene by scene breakdown of the film, the beat sheet. This is not a movie where we miss something. This is a movie that lays it all out on the table and then underlines it three times. This is a movie you can watch while asleep. And you still have got everything. Yeah. That's I think that's the ideal it three times. This is a movie you can watch while asleep. You still have got everything. Yeah, that's, I think that's the ideal way to watch it.

It's so boring that it will put you into a deep rim sleep, a satisfying rim, R.M. Oh yeah. You know, like Rem Coolhouse. Yeah, okay. Man, Beyonce is a total non-presence in this film. She spends most of the movie not in the movie. Until it's asking in time.

Yeah, until it's time for her to fuck fuck shit up defend her man and and fight a lot but she's so passive before I guess she doesn't know what's going on but she doesn't she's a stay-at-home mom who is also studying for something job-related maybe school to be a Taikwondo instructor right now she's basically sitting at home and apparently calling her husband every 15 minutes on the phone because I've never seen a couple talk to each other on the phone as much as these the a female assistant just a female temp fillian for his assistant who is a who is a ridiculously caricatured gay man by the way but she's like oh I don't read on no female assistants or the back story is because she was his assistant even so that is no like what kind of crazy possessive woman is like I'm sorry you

can't work with any women you can't work with 51% of the world. They know it was like a really hot scene where like the first time they hooked up, he was like, I love assistance. Yeah, he's like, I always fucked my assistants. You know what, you know what, Dan? There's no trust in this relationship. Yeah, but tell me this, if they had followed that rule, would anything bad have happened? No.

And they didn't follow that rule and what happened? Their house got wrecked. White girl tried to steal her man wrecked. White girl tried to steal her man. And somebody tied, right? Well, I don't know how we are to do that. Yeah, falling head of an attic. I mean, probably. I guess she might be alive. I guess it wasn't explicitly. I mean, that's not that chandelier didn't look that heavy. Yeah, and it missed her.

I mean, I'm in for her. I mean, we'll wait until obsessed too before we make it fun. Still obsessed. Yeah. Obsessed to the scent of a obsession. Obsessed her. Obsessed again. It's a comedy.

Obsessed with him. Well, you were supposed to be obsessed with me. So who, Erica Christensen would be the Ali Larder character in this man? Yeah, she'd be in the scene. She's a real swim fan. Yeah, that's a word that they didn'tater character and the man. Yeah, she'd be in the scene. She's a real swim fan. Yeah, that's a word that they didn't make up for the movie.

Oh, God, I don't even know how much there's to say about that. Well, and Beyonce, there's a funny thing with, like, the end of the fight scene, Beyonce's wearing these very high-heeled boots. And it's just, there are an unfinished attic, and it's just kind of funny, the lengths the movie goes to for suspense in Showing her having trouble standing on the boards laid down in the attic with her boots. There's yeah There are basically three planks that you can walk on and the rest of it is just insulation and so alley letters Swinging a two by four at her and the office backing up backing up getting closer just going on this

insulation in these four inch heel boots backing up and then she gets the edge and she springs backwards and like a cat, both her boots man on the planks on the side. And then later she's, Ellie Larder is dangling from the attic on her hands and Beyonce grabs her hand to save her life because she's still a good person. And not a murderer. Yeah, and Ellie Larder starts trying to pull her down with her. And you see shots of her boots sliding across the attic floor as if she's being pulled forward.

But each time you see Beyonce, she's at the exact same point in the hole that she was before. So it's almost less like she's being pulled through than that her legs are getting shorter the entire fight. Or like almost like it's a cartoon joke where Beyonce's arms are stretching so her legs are pulling in. It would have been a great like Steven Chao joke to throw in suddenly. Yeah. Yeah and for like a movie that I guess I guess is like supposed to be an erotic thriller.

It's a very unerotic thriller. The most skin is just thrilling during the cat fight. Oh yeah, as Ali Larger is in an oversized jersey that Edras Alba wears, but no pants on. Chest, or panties. And Beyonce has a lot of cleavage. Yeah, she's very chaggy. And high heeled. But like you could show this entire movie

on television, uncut. On network television at 7 p.m. Free M. Jeopardy, throw this on. Anger everyone who wanted M. Jeopardy, throw this on. Anger everyone who wanted to see Jeopardy. When they cancel the J-Leno show, they throw this on it, Tan, and then realize, we could run this at 8.

Cancel the J-Leno show, huh? Two and a half minutes. You already take a shot. I don't want them to cancel this show. Two and a half minutes, huh? I don't think it's going to lose another 12 million viewers in one week. Two and a half men. For Emmy Award winner John Cryer. Yeah. Who won an Emmy this year? You're just as good as John Cryer. Yeah. I am as good as John Cryer and better than Bob Newhart, who never won anything. So where it works. And not as good as Susan

Lutje, who I think is too. The same way that Alfred Hitchcock is a worst director, then Kevin Costner. Well, yes, then Kevin Costner. I'm really struggling with this movie because it is so straightforward. Yeah, it's really straightforward. I mean, it's not much to say about it. It's very important.

There are no titles for some reason. Jerry O'Connell doing his best Michael Ian Black impression is in the movie. And it is, that's the thing. That was the saddest thing about the movie was a sign of how far Jerry O'Connell's career has gone down that he is in this he's he's the friend of the main character in this movie as opposed to being like the lead in like a movie like Tom Katz like he mentioned Stewart like that's a problem. You think like you know after a day of filming

Jerry O'Connell like like hey address you wantress, you wanna go get a beer or something? And he's like, I got a lot of stuff to do, man. I'm gonna prepare for tomorrow. He's like, oh, okay, yeah. We could watch the first season DVD of Carpoolers just came out, I was in that show Carpoolers. Like Joe's apartment, I got the short and the full length feature.

Sliders, see some one through whatever. I think one through question. I think I have some VHS tapes from when I was guest hosting later. I think even fans of Sliders look at Sliders that way. Yeah, you know, seasons one through whatever. I don't know how many seasons are in. They were getting sillier and sillier in ways of changing the world in the different episodes. Movie had a really, really catty gay man. Yeah. Bruce McGill was in it.

Yeah, Bruce D. Day. Yep, had a very small role. I was just listing things. Yeah, now they're through about this movie. Well, there's not much to say about the movie. Allie Larder has left her job. And so he just always goes, few, I'm safe again. He and Beyoncé go out to dinner.

And Cartoon sweat fly off his head. It's New Year's, New Year's Eve, they come home after midnight. His outlook on his computer, which he's left turned on all night apparently, and open, says he has one message. He checks it, and oh no, it's a New Year's card from All Ali Larder that's a photo of her that opens multiple pop-up photos of her. Yeah the same photo opens up over and over again it says see you next year and there's this great moment of like portally thought out suspense where

Beyonce is taking off her earrings in the background well Idrisoba is desperately trying to click closed all of the all of the windows at the same time keep cutting between the things. It's like, oh my God, he's running out of time before her earrings are off, but he's still got three windows to close. Well, you guys are probably a lot like me. You probably, you know, going out with your lady and then you're in your bedroom, your boot war, and you're looking at some internet pornography, holy shit, a whole bunch of pop-ups pop-up. And then when she's coming back out of the bathroom after having taken a shit or something, you're trying to furiously click on all those exes. So Lee, you came home. You came home. You came home and she

said, I'll be right about, I need to use the bathroom. And your first thought is, I'm gonna have plenty of time to look at pornography. In bed. Yeah. Yeah. This is an odd scenario. Okay. so yeah, so that's a thing. It's like the director's really playing on his audience's knowledge of irritating pop ups. Yeah. He's primarily male audience. Yeah, this film, the ones who came out to see Beyonce know

Knowles into a, Aagle, Idris Elba. Yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot more Idris Elba skin than Lady Skin. He has, it takes his shirt off a bunch of times. It almost makes me think that we weren't the audience for this movie. I don't understand. That's a way to go.

Elliot, we're a young professional males between the ages of 25 and 35. It seems like we would be the market for everything. I'm closer to the 25 end of that scale. Yeah. Ah, me too. Okay, so this movie is great. Now let's do some, do we want to judge the final judgements? Let's do the final judgements. Yeah, let me talk about something else. So to refresh, is this a good

bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie that you actually kind of liked in some way Elliot Goat? I would call this a bad bad movie. It was very boring and until the fight scene at the end, they were like, there were little things here and there you could make fun of, but it was never a good bad movie and it is certainly not a good movie. I'll have to agree with Elliot. This is a bad, bad movie. Although there was one moment in the movie

where they were talking about hamburgers, so I started thinking about how I'd like to eat a hamburger right now. Yeah, that was the high point of the film is when they briefly discuss whether the hamburger they're eating is good. Yeah, and the answer is yes, it's very good. They made me think of good hamburgers I've eaten. So I mean, that part was cool. Yeah, if you want to think about good hamburgers, maybe watch that scene in the movie, or just think about good hamburgers.

At that point, they're almost... You do have to move you. It's almost like they're trying to set her up as the ideal dream woman. Oh, she knows that the kind of music He likes and she's really sexy. Oh, and she eats hamburgers, too. What could go wrong? Yep, it's why I'm attracted to Winpy Well, you're also thinking smooth the way he never pays for his hamburgers I think that also you're gonna rock the boat. No, I'm gonna

This is a bad bad movie. I think that the you're gonna rock the boat. No, I'm gonna be great. This is a bad, bad movie. I think that the ending cat fight is funny, but I would advise you to go on YouTube, look it up, see if some kind soul has cut that part out, and you can just watch it on the phone. And if they have that person should get the Nobel Prize for peace, for saving people's time. And the rest of it can be thrown in the garbage.

Sure. So the celluloid garbage can. Just take the original reels, flip that part out, and throw the rest away. That was as equal to the celluloid closet was the celluloid garbage can. What about Oscar the Grouches? That were secretly hidden into movies?

Yeah. Or I guess Oscar's the Grouch would be the pride for realizing of that. Yeah, it's like attorneys' humor. Yeah. So I have a couple of things here from the... Are those letters? It's part of the flop house, my dad. Letters?

We get letters? We get lots and lots of letters? Is this a movie mail letter? Letters. First off here, someone submitted something for the contest. The contest. We're running a contest.

I had forgotten about it. We mentioned once, and then never mentioned again. What was the prize? Was it, watch it, flop with the flop houses. Yeah, that sounds cool. Flop with the floppers for the contest. So it's still running, guys. Thank you for reminding us this contest.

Over the rules again. Do something. Do something to promote the show oh yeah and then send us some proof that you've done something to promote the show and then we will evaluate who did the best thing to promote the show and then they will get a you expensive paid trip to watch a movie with us beautiful Brooklyn will probably contribute food and drink yeah Popeyes on me that's that's it I'll provide beer as long as you don't mind drinking and I think you

provide a sense of fun you can sit in while we're recording but um anyway this gentleman uh his name is Dash okay always one of the incredible he hosts his own podcast and he's put up a video where he teaches people how to make falapal with T. Heeney So if you've been wanting to oh I If you've been wanting to learn how to make Middle Eastern street food, but we're waiting for a horrible pun Wow, this is someone who put never to do a contest

No, I'm saying they went to the trouble of doing the video, and I'll post it on the site. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just, if you need your recipes, let's say, to have something to do with a podcast, then your prayers have been answered. So whatever you're praying to. Thank you, Dash.

I enjoyed the video. And I'll put it over. It's probably Yob will on the three-who-or-one. That makes sense. I think that we'll keep this contest open through the end of October, and then we'll make our choice. Shottober. Yeah, it's true.

Next October. Next month will be Shottober. So look forward to that. On Channel 11, WPI X New York's movie station. So if you wanted to see Nightmare on Elm Street 3 again. Dream Warriors? But with the good scenes cut out. Okay, all the homoerotic ones you mean.

Oh, that's too. I mean, I don't know which one is the gay one. So, this one is from William last name withheld. This one family is always writing us. Yeah. He enjoys the show, started listening to work earlier this year, reminds him of the bad movie nights his wife Michelle And he used to have with his friend Pete

He said Michelle as if you knew her and missed her Of course, miss Michelle so you and William did stay together. Yeah, William dance wiping wait here I've had something beautiful kissing a folded faded photograph that he keeps in his wallet a Dora Dora Degarrad. Yeah, it's a Degarrad type. Yeah, he has a tin-type keeps in his wallet a dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera dera He basically enjoyed his own bad movie night and he wanted to recommend a few older bad movies Sure for people to watch orgy of the dead Ed would movie right? Yeah, Edward Edward movie Michelle and her sister Tracy memorably shouted out out out one of Topos woman vigorously shook her breasts from side to side during the

Orgy of the dead so you might want to try that at home too. Andy Warhol's Dracula, he likes it. That's terrible. Maniac, the extras include an endless display of Maniac trailers all nearly exactly the same. And when time ran out, Pete was fascinated with 70 disaster pictures, particularly the works of Irwin Allen. I couldn't stop laughing at the bridge scene.

It runs on forever, even on fast forward. I haven't seen that one. I'm familiar with Ir even on fast-forward. I haven't seen that one. I'm familiar with our one-allons work, but I haven't seen that one. Yeah, those are some good older movie recommendations. We don't usually talk about older movies because they've often been picked over by the time we would get to them anyway, and we have one to have a thin veneer of currency. Topicality. Topicality podcast.

But this opens up a good topic, which is, are there any older bad movies that you would recommend as a good bad movie to watch? Yeah, I totally want to watch, because I was, you know, the Netflix, right? Mm-hmm. You guys have heard of this, right? I'm not there on the internet. Yeah. So I was browsing my Flix and I noted it I noted that one of my favorite movies was has just recently been added to their catalog

A little movie called if looks could kill starring Richard E. K. Of course, how can we forget so but that was that's a Italian cheek movie. I mean it's it is bad Yeah, it's not good. It's not a good movie. All right. Okay. I'll take that. I mean he missed He missed pronounces bone jur and says boner. I mean come on All right, I've changed my mind. That's a good movie. That should have won best picture I think that I mean this is I think it did at the kid Oscars the Oscars. Yeah, this is still sort of recent But I I showed at a bad movie night before the flop house existed Paparazzi, and I think that's an excellent choice for a still fairly recent

Older bad movie. I mean it's a sort of bad movie that only a Celebrity would want to make a movie about killer paparazzi terrorizing of poor celebrity and it's a it live it's existence weird world where like paparazzi all work together To bedevil celebrities rather than you know just being an individual people out to sell Don't actually kill anybody in that movie they just injure somebody and then they all get killed I yeah, yes They all get killed by Bo Laramie, but uh Tom Sizemore does say he wants to ruin the guy's life Yeah, what's the mega is mission to ruin his life Bo Laramie played by popular actor Cole Houser Yeah, you don't know which name sounds more fake his real name or the character

But that's the kind of world that paparazzi creates for you the viewer, right? Yeah, I believe it was directed or was it written or was it written right? I don't know. One of those by Mel Gibson's hairdresser. So there you go. You have anything that you wanted to do? Mel Gibson was in my office today, actually. Really? There was shooting a scene for a movie Mel Gibson is making

in which he is a man who speaks through a beaver puppet. And I think Jody Foster is directing directing it and they were shooting a scene where he's being interviewed by john wow it was quite strange you know uh... they usually do that sort of thing right we've been doing it more and more we did one for evin almighty and we did one for uh... the great buck howard we did one recently for something mad damon's in john is becoming jaylen oh i guess it was a time when you could not see a movie

but we didn't have like a scene where jaylen oh does a joke about what's going on in the movie yeah no not good will hunting to not good one thing to either better will hunting followed by best will hunt the one called goodwill bunting or j the activity sure yeah i'll i think i recommend uh... there's a two movie cycle man droid and invisible the chronicles of jack night i think it's called the might be kyle night they tell the story of a group of scientists on the run from a villain in the first one they have a robot body that can be controlled when you were a special helmet

and evil scientist wants it and And one of the characters turns invisible which is a lead-in to the second movie invisible where he actually isn't in it that much As you'd think since the movie is called invisible But it is a very funny bad two-part movie and you know what I'll also throw Nukian about that Hey, can I throw something else in there? Sure. I want to recommend the Invisible Maniac about a high school teacher who turns himself invisible just to, you know, spy on and potentially rape women. And at one point, a version of the holloman. And then at one point, he chokes a student to death with a submarine sandwich.

Pretty good. It's a good movie. All right. He does that, but does it have a talking monkey in it because Newkey does The invisible maniac jumps on somebody's head and smushes it Yeah, the person's head smushes like it splatters Apparently when you become invisible you also become ridiculously dense interesting And then when oh and then when you become visible,

if you die, you become visible again in the mythos of the invisible maniac. That doesn't make it. Oh, well, that happens in the regular in the invisible man. Oh, yeah, you're right. I would recommend slow bullet, except it is unenjoyable.

That is the necronomic kind of bad movies. You will go crazy if you watch it. I can recommend more bad ones. I'm starting to think of the movies they used to play on USA Up All Night now. Not the Barbarian. Not the bikini ones. Maybe we know those are like the great bikini off-road adventures. I don't that that was like I think two new movie to show on up all night. Should we just stick to these bad movies and recommendations for the week? The great bikini off-road adventure applies there's an in an adventure in the film. it's a great but there is of course none of

yeah but there's you know there's bikinis and there's tablets and they do go off like there's a why there's some wise native American dudes that is the trope of this one woman that keeps losing her top and then the wise native american re-collects them and returns them yeah willy tall salt that's a caretaker if we got if we got this, isn't it? Isn't it like a bikini traffic school? Yes, I think I've never seen it. At one point, I didn't understand.

I really, that was one I didn't get because it seems like a traffic school in the sense that it was related somehow to city government. It wasn't like a private organization, but it still had that plot where land developers wanted to take it over. And they had to turn to a bikini organization to but it still had that plot where land developers wanted to take it over and they had to turn to a bikini Organization to save it. There was it. This is not a profit business doing a traffic school. You guys remember the great It was like the stand-up comedy boom of the 80s of the bikini business boom when they were just bikini businesses spring up all over the country Yeah bikini car washes bikini beast rose bikini hotels bikini airlines Yeah, and there was also that boom

in evil land developers around the same time yeah always trying to like shut mom and pop organizations or community centers yeah for some reason the economy at that point just favored bikini is an evil land developer yeah that's the thing yeah I don't know what it is like despite you know I'm you know when I don't But still, if like one of those bikini movies comes on, like I'll look around and actually kind of feel like I'm doing something wrong, like my parents might walk in and catch me. And I've seen actual pornography, right?

Right. And you don't ever feel, you don't care if your parents walk in and see you watching that. No, because I mean, most of it's pornography featuring like dead bodies and stuff. So it's not like it's real pornography. Even as a grown adult, I also prefer... It's a crazy thing to say.

Ha ha ha. Prefer like the silly TNA comedy is to like other forms of like bad soft corner. No, there's a lightness to it. Because yeah, well, I mean, as someone who grew up, you know, staying up secretly to watch whatever uh... you know like porn other so yeah whatever it wasn't Charlie Rose

that's it someone who stayed up to see live at the Apollo sometimes I didn't stay up to see the other Rose but so many of the like soft core erotic thrillers are about a guy out there who's killing strippers. Yeah, and that's not so fun. And it's like unsexy on two levels. Number one, like, you know, strippers, it's fine. Like, it's good. I'm still seeing someone who's naked, but it's like the least sexy version of that because you're like, okay, well, I'm watching a movie about

someone whose job is to take their clothes off. It's not like I'm seeing characters who I wouldn't normally see naked like it's like okay these are characters who this is their job to be naked and then they get killed. Like that doesn't add any I don't say any would be turned on by a movie about naked cave women. Right. Because that's kind of their job. No it's not their job to be naked. I mean they don't really have a job.

They don't like put on like take a bleak case. kind of their job is not john jordan i mean i have a job like like take a different difference between unhappily being paid to take your clothes off and not yet having knowledge of the i'm saying i'm saying that like

you know i'm saying there was a movie about adam and eve over at an ev were naked not at the state and then and i would be the movie the loss of sexual innocence on on multiple levels Well, it doesn't it's not even the true story. Yeah, chain kills able you make able a hot girl. It's baby a stripper Done you got your movie and you call it a Garden Genesis killing garden of Genesis Garden of killing corn chips part part one the rise of killing

Mm-hmm. I don't know what I get. Okay. Enter the killing in That's how boring the movie was today that we had plenty of time to talk about old software pornography of the type mom used to make sure So yeah, we anything else we have to do. Oh, I was gonna say I think that we should just make those bad movie recommendations Our recommendations pretty because I haven't had time to watch yeah, I had a movie it I had a movie to recommend that I didn't love it It just kind of like was the best of the ones I had seen lately. I saw a screening of the informant And I like to a good deal but I feel like anyone needs my encouragement to go see a wide-release film starring Matt Damon Like I sold out Jim if you wouldn't mind me promoting my next film screening coming up the first Wednesday in October October 7th I'll be showing the old dark house at 92 wide Tribeca in Manhattan

200 Hudson Street come on by Wednesday October 7th 8 o'clock the old dark house I'm gonna talk about it James Whales masterpiece the movie he made between Frankenstein and Brad Frankenstein it's really funny and it's really creepy if you want to see Emmy winning writer uh, writer, Elliot Kellen, present a movie. That's your chance guys. This is your first of many chances. It's weird. You would think that this podcast will get better. The worst the movie is that we watched. There's a breaking point. There's a sense of energy. So much. I feel like our best podcasts have been movies that we kind of enjoyed. Yeah, like for it.

Every it's it's like I can't like I can't imagine that I know it happened that we watched and we were like, ah that was even that whether it was a shitty movie that was fun to watch like it my mind is like certainly that wasn't the case but I know it happened. Bratz is still still still our gold standard. Okay, so Hollywood you've got a job to do, right? It's watch the watch the Bratz movie and learn your lesson. Yeah. Make every film like that. Next, Beyonce vehicle, Brad's too. Who you like to play?

I'll grow up. Yeah, I'll grow up. Yeah. Yeah. And be like, it would begin and say five years later. The opening of the film would be a title card that says five years later. Yeah.

And in those five years, the four Brad's have merged into one entity, the white five. Well, you're super Brad. Okay. So, you knowat he called superbrats well let's sign off guys I've been damn boy I'm stored well he didn't I am Emmy award winning writer Elliott K.O.L.N.

Good night I guess I'm kind of a I'm kind of I have a fetish for women with no clothes on I kind of like clothes because I like to be close. I like taking them off Certainly in a perfect world My other parents world in the film certainly in the film a more perfect world. We're just out perfect I think you're Doesn't in order to form more perfect. Yeah, that's perfect world. That's the one where

He's with Kevin Kevin costume plays like a retard a guy or something. No, that's the one where uh... Kevin, Kevin Caster plays like a retarded guy or something? No, he's a really, he's a really criminal. And the run who shows a job is witness kid, his only taste of fun. Time of his life. It's actually a very underrated movie I find.