The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #48 - The Chaos Experiment

Episode Date: October 26, 2009

0:00 - 0:56 - Introduction, APOLOGY, and theme0:57 - 4:00 - The return of Dan's least favorite reoccurring segment.4:01 - 41:41- Dan, Stu, and Elliott make vicious fun of a movie you've never heard of, giving the lie to their claim that they're too nice to kick a film when it's down.41:42 - 44:53- Final judgments 44:54 - 51:54 - Our second and final SHOCKTOBER sad bastards recommend of 2009.  51:55 - 55:00 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

Kilmer, Asante, Roberts. We discuss a film called The Chaos Experiment. Also, before we get started, I'd like to apologize for the subpar audio quality in this episode. We discovered only too late that there was a problem with Stuart's microphone. I tried to fix it in post, but it's noticeable. Anyway, we decided to release it, and can enjoy it or you can ignore it. But we hope it isn't too bad. The The The The

The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The the The The The The The The The The The the the the The The The I'm Elliot Kaylen. So guys, so I got something to talk about. Oh, okay. I'm a little bit on your great weekend where I got some shoes. No, it was a sounded like great shoes. And you won an Emmy. But to this this last weekend.

Are you are those the shoes you're wearing right now? Yes, they're nice shoes. They're, they're shit. shit, but so weekend well spent the The one thing that I wanted to say was Guys last we yes W probably last weekend I had a weekend that I Can't imagine Elliot you could compare to it at all I can't imagine I saw one of my comedy idols I can't even imagine I saw one of my comedy idols from the the troop of the Monty Python's flying surface. Oh wow Terry Jones I saw him Monty Python's flying surface

I've had some Novice Monty Python's flying circus. No, I saw him in person. That's really cool. You know at a Q&A slash writing seminar. And so, finally, all of you. Was that like a seminar or did he do the other right? Slash fiction? Slash fiction. Monty Python, Slash fiction. Yeah. Well, it would be about the characters. Yeah, it's usually like they usually pair them up, um, according to who wrote with each other. So Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Slash fiction fiction and then Terry Jones Michael pay on the slash fiction and then it's Eric I will just masturbating. Yeah, wait. And Terry Gillian masturbating too.

Yeah. Wait, is there a silly walks guy right? The guy does the silly walks. Alright, but the point is Elliot. Elliot, there's no way that you could possibly, I finally have prevented you from one upping me. You're right. I mean, seeing a member of Monty Python in person,

my weekend was nowhere near that exciting. Well, my Thursday, I did go to the New York premiere of the Monty Python documentary. Oh, wow. Well, you saw it on screen. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And then every living member of Monty Python did it, like a 45-minute, 40-minute Q&A afterwards.

It was pretty cool. We were sitting in front. We were in the row ahead of Carol Cleveland, kind of the female Python, you couldA afterwards It was pretty cool. We were sitting in front we were in the row ahead of Carol Cleveland kind of the female Python You could say it was very exciting. I was it was awesome, but I mean, but Terry Jones Wow I mean he was there when I saw it all the all the living and There was a card there was a cardboard stand-up to take the place with Graham Chapman who passed away, you know in the 80s So I'm just going to shoot myself, guys. I don't think I'll just not even after the podcast. No, no, we'll talk about the movie first. I like this new recruiting

segment, Elliott tops Dan. I didn't even talk about how we got literally celebrity tickets to the show, to the movie. That was the second screening I've shared with Wootbe Goldberg after Watchmen. Wow, and this is, yeah, so this is like a mixture of Elliot top stand and name droppers. Yeah, name droppers, the sweet life of Elliot and Cody, all the all the best shows. The guys and Dan in real life. Monty Python regardless. I mean this may be Monty Python month on IFC. But in the flop house, it's shocked over. Yeah, it's shallowee. It's flop.

Zeeve. Mm-hmm. Yeah, flop. Zeeve. Stuart, put down your phone. Stop texting. Put down your phone and pick up your microphone. We're fixing your mustache. Are you guys done talking about fucking Monty Python today? Yeah, we are.

The nerd talk is done. It was just to button it up. It was an amazing experience. Let's just say that, that I will never forget. Anyway, we're done with Monty Python now. Cool. Yeah, we watched the chaos experiment, which was originally released under a different title.

Oh, wait. Wait, what? The steam experiment. I wonder why they would call it that. Oh, wait, maybe because they talk about steam every single second. Yeah, okay. And they're in a steam room. We need to set this up a little bit, because this is a much smaller film

than we usually talk about on the podcast. That's true. I looked it up on Wikipedia, it played two theaters in, like, Lansing, Michigan. Well, it makes sense because it takes place in Tarley and Grand Rapids. Yeah, and it really needs to be knocked out if you'd like. Yeah, exactly. Well, this is... Run hot on all that critical buzz.

I feel like the elites in Lansing need to be... I feel like this is not, not you know the normal target for our ira usually something that should have known better or is big enough to absorb it but here it's more like maybe we're helping the audience dig up and undiscovered jam yeah there you because this is what i heard about this you don't know the chaos experiment yeah this is more publicity than i think it ever received

yeah you got a you got dumped into theaters. Literally. Shat out of a butt into theaters. We got like a viewing butt? Well, like a giant paper mache one. That's how they delivered it to the theater, the film. The film is like slowly dilated. That's probably how it's like.

It's like they just got to push it out. Yeah. It doesn't encourage audience members to go see that movie when it comes to town and that method. What a horrible, I apologize to that guy who likes to listen to this way's cooking dinner with his wife. Yeah. Anyway, but it came across the description of this on Wikipedia.

I saw the description of this movie, the Plotsopsis, and I emailed it to you guys. Planoopsis. And you guys immediately said we have to watch this movie. Everything about it said we had to see it, and I'm glad we did, even though I wanted to tear my eyes out after a while. You know, if I'd actually checked my email, I think I'd probably would have said exactly what else. Yeah. Well, why did it usually just auto-deleted? Anything you guys said.

Sure. We got a spam filter for us. Yeah. It's amazing that you show up for the flop house recording sessions. He did text me earlier today. We're doing flop house tonight, right? Yeah.

And then Dan sent me a text. So I thought you'd like told on me or something no no no I'm pretty sure all you remember that we're doing it but I'm not sure that Stewart does sure and I was right anyway the point is this movie has a tram for it of middle-aged male leads for let's call them former stars. Let's call them has been Let's be let's be polite and call them by the term. Yeah, you got your Val Kilmer Once Batman you got your Armando Santé Star of Fatal Instinct one of the Mambo Kings Don't forget that he is a king. Yeah of, a human vandarris, and Eric Roberts.

Brother of Bob Roberts. Brother of Bob Roberts. The Tim Robbins character. Oscar nominated Eric Roberts. What was he nominated for? I think Star 80. Well, that was 20-some-odd years ago. And he's best remembered now as the mobster from Dark Knight. Yeah, so he's actually his career's

on an up swinging bit. He's one of those guys that you can get and he will and he's in crash the new series, too. Yeah, he's I think his career is doing a little better now. He's still cared about that show. Yeah. Of the three of them. Yeah, of the three of those guys, Eric Roberts is doing the best right now. Yeah. But Vel Kilmer still owns fucking like 30,000 acre ranch. So, you know, he's doing okay too.

And Armandisante probably owns a diner somewhere. Yeah, Vel Kilmer clearly can afford to eat well. Yeah, because he has packed it on. Woo! He does not look good. Yeah, I said because he has packed it on. Whoo! He does not look good. Yeah, I said that he looked like... Both legs. That's two.

But not even a Nordic track, though. Yeah, before the payment plan. He looks like a Jeff Bridges character when Jeff Bridges is playing a downtrodden character, like the dude, or like in the Fisher King when he goes crazy for a while. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but what, why was this called the steam experiment originally before it was old like and the Fisher King when he goes crazy for a while. Yeah, but what why was this called the steam experiment originally before it was changed? Why don't you explain this?

Why don't I spin a tail for our listeners about a man walks into the Grand Rapids newspaper office. It's Val Kilmer with about four days worth of beard on him. And he says, 30 years worth of going away. Yeah, something like that. And it opens with this bizarre selection of images of Val Kilmer, lying, looking soiled and disgusting on a hospital bed, standing on a merry-go-round, and just kind of generally looking at things. Generally looking at things generally looking at things but uh... he goes into a newspaper and says to the

editor if you don't you know i need to print my story about how global warming is destroyed the earth i've got six people trapped in the sauna and the temperature is going up and they're gonna die unless you print my story now i'd like to point out though that uh... the movie literally starts with the scene however it takes us fifteen minutes for all that information to come out there's a lot of the editor going wait

backup you've got people trapped in a sauna and the audiences like no don't back up don't back up we've been there uh... the editor calls the police chief uh... or police man armandes on to who i feel really i feel bad we're gonna make fun of the way armandes on to talk some this because he can't are we because you can understand him who i feel really i feel bad we're gonna make fun of the way our monosante talks in this because you can't are we because you can't understand him and i feel really bad if anyone knows if our monosante has suffered a stroke we apologize

uh... it's a theory that the missus saunte it's it really will be uh... insensitive of us when we make fun of it later but if there's a real reason for it if not just him please email us and make us feel bad if you know of a reason why Armando Santhe is talking like, like, Fenster and the usual suspect. Yeah, just swollen tongue, you know. But we'll talk more about that later.

But meanwhile, we're cutting to the steam room where six people who thought they were going to a dating service that gives away $5,000. As they do. I hear about that on the internet. On the internet? Yeah, that's usually where people are. On the webber nets.

Yeah, and they each have met with Velkomer personally ahead of time. And they are in this steam room, three guys and three girls. They don't met with them before, right? Yeah, it kind of implies that they all eat the interview of the company. The CEO like the interview of the company. He is the CEO and only employee of the company. It seems strange that he would meet personally

with the people who use his product. Yeah, I mean, like, I mean, we see Val Kilmer in this movie a lot. Like, I would imagine there would have been some warning signs for these people. Well, since he looks, since he gets crazier and crazier as the movie goes on. OK, yeah, just keep going.

Well, he, uh, Val Kilmer, weimer show will talk about it with he shows a lot of uh... made up physical tics that crazy people in movies have face scratching face yeah the movie should be called face crashers uh... as i was saying but uh... earlier but at the okay so there's three guys and three girls in the sauna the girl takes off her top for no reason

every week they all hate each other almost instantly one of the guys is like a big I'm from Brooklyn. I love the girls. Yeah, forget about it. He actually says forget about it at one point. Yeah, and then there's Eric Roberts who is a from Dallas Dallas, although he forgets that he's from Dallas most of the movie and then he'll suddenly turn on his accent and it'll be and you'll realize you'll remember you'll be like oh yeah that character is introduced to us being from Dallas and then he transports you to the dusty plains of Texas a tumbleweed oh yeah oh yeah it's like the last picture show all of a sudden hell's heart hell's have Baker and all that

slap leather and there's some other characters in there too one of this girl Hell's have Baker and all that. Uh, Slap leather. And there's some other characters in there too. One of this girl who's neurotic to the point of combatose and so forth. She's a poet. But anyway, while they're trapped in this sauna, they realize they're trapped and they go crazy and, you know, try to kill each other and stuff. Meanwhile, a game of cat and mouse is being played between Valcoma and Armandasante. Well, let's back up and clarify for being played between Valcomer or Monde Sante.

Well, back up and clarify for a moment that the reason they're trapped in this steam room is that Valcomer is a big global warming theory is that as the Earth gets warmer, society will crumble. People will get more irritable and start attacking each other, which is, you know, I don't know if that's a theory that needed to be tested by an actual experience no i think that that's it's tested every august in the u.k. city and that like if i think he keeps talking about if you're if you're stuck in a steam room for long enough your lungs will melt

yeah which none that doesn't happen to the people in there it didn't doesn't have in the movie i mean i didn't show the inside of somebody's lungs. No, it would have been cool. Things didn't go inside the body. Yeah. Or save the green planet in the part where he's killed the other guy and then he's so mad he's kicking him in the chest and it turns into an x-ray at the instant he kicks him in the chest and it restarts his heart. Oh, yeah, or like it's such a good movie.

Street fighter where selling two of a bunch of guys. Yeah, yeah, that's a good that's a good scene too Or that one's that Lee movie So many movies I would rather watch this audience You know do yourself a favor get together with some friends and list movies in which you go inside someone's body He'll enjoy it more than when you said jet When you said Jetly, the title that came to mind was Romeo is Burning, which is not a movie. It's just, I got,

I got, Romeo and Miss Die is the Jetly movie. I got that, Romeo is bleeding, and. And Romeo and Michelle's high school room. I guess something, Romeo is Burning is a good title, but. Romeo and Miss Die was the one where he, he like jump kicks a dude in the head I'm like, oh, bad luck and then it's like a guy's like neck breaking

Um, but anyway, there's a game of cat and mouse Armana Santé isn't sure if Valcomer is making this all up or if it actually happened the audience doesn't know that either because the movie doesn't make any sense It doesn't know what the time frame is is this actually happening now? does he have to free these hostages before they die? Or has this already happened long ago? Yeah, or did it all happen in Val Kilmer's head? Yeah. Eventually, I'm just gonna skip to the end. Everybody but two of the people in the sauna die.

The two most non-descript characters live. The people from the mental hospital come to pick up Val Kilmer, turns out he's crazy. In our Monde Santhe after spending like an hour and a half dealing with him is like well took care of that one take him away my curiosity is stated meanwhile his his boss keeps getting on his case goes there's a robbery done

it fletcher street you need to look into and this fletcher street lot robbery seems so much more interesting to agree with his boss that you know given just talking to a crazy person in a room for several hours or foiling a robbery down a fledger street you know go down a fledger street yeah this can keep the crazy guy probably hold killed kill keep for a little bit and did I so should I mention the twist ending or please do uh... uh... maybe you can make sense of it

valkimer is taken back to the mental hospital suddenly his doctor arrives it's the guy who survived the steam experiment all of a sudden he looks like jeffery combs and re-earned he does it's true and he says to velcimer uh... you're a genius touching human chaos was the greatest experience of my life

uh... and then walks away in velcimer stares into space like a crazy person and then we see the doctor in his office and the only woman who survived the sauna experiment is like his wife I guess and says like he you know what something about it like you know you're gonna control him he controls you kill him then come home i love you and then the doctor turns the light off and that's the end of the movie and the end comes up on the screen but it's really your

confused and you would be gobsmacked by the ending i think that it doesn't help you out to have the end of the park eric ro Eric Roberts in his crazy death rose does say like, you two are working together. You're in on this. What? And it's supposed to be the ravings of a lunatic and it turns out he was right, but it's still stupid.

Yeah, but here's what- Also, this is an intricate theory that if people get locked into a sauna, they'll kill each other. But it's also where, as soon as they're about to break out of the sauna, someone comes by and shoots a nail gun into one of the character's heads yeah and it is uh... it's so i guess what i'm saying is the movie lacks internal consistency

yeah that's that i think that that point compromise your experiment yes certainly that's i've forestered shooting people face with nail guns um... what we can say now well i was going to say that i have several problems with this twist ending, but I feel like we should what? We should we should we should mention before we get to that is that this is an incredibly and competently made film. Yeah, no, I feel like we should take this roughly chronologically and we should get back

to the twist ending at the end because there's going to be a lot to say about it, but I just wanna record this. I don't want the audience with this podcast to think that listeners to think that the only problem with the movie was, and it was a far-fetched plot. There was much more wrong with this. This is a 90 minute film, I think it's like an 88 minute film that feels like it's roughly 17 weeks of watching and There were I know a lot of conversations

Comments where people repeat the same lines literally over yeah, I don't know if you guys had the same experience I did but there was a point about 60 minutes in where I suddenly like woke up and was like, huh? We're still watching this movie I mean come on guys. I mean this just you know it's a good thriller It's like you know check your brain at the door like sure lay back and relax now not at all it happens So just let it happen let a wash over you like a soothing white noise Relax like no kill him relax when he's lying on that hospital bed relax when he's lying on that hospital bed. He saw all the stress.

I think it looks relaxed so much as he looks like someone has performed a little bottomy on him. Yeah. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired.

He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired.

He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. He looks so tired. just kind of standing vacantly on this merry-go-round and they do not. Uh, he- Well, wife's a merry-go-round, Ellie. He's trapped. He's trapped on it. It was a highway. It was on mental prisons.

Yeah, and you want to ride it all night long. Yeah. Yeah. Give it a-give it a-give it a-something. This is a movie where, uh, Velcomer, he's-his acting can be best described, I think, as Sleepy. Well, when it's not extravagant, I mean- It's either Sleepy or N sleepy or nail bitingly over the top

and uh... also and he's got like this growth of beard and it just looks like i was saying these guys during the movie looks like he's slow it's like the slowest wolf man transformation you can imagine just like it does over the course of the day crazy by the end of the movie he's twitching and his eyes are rolling into the back of his head and he's like sniffing at things.

Yeah, you have to wonder whether with the twist that comes out of the end, you have to wonder whether his time frame was actually until his meds wore off. That's why he got crazier. That's a pretty good explanation actually. Yeah, but Jesus, he's just a master of the craft, you know, well this movie was three it was three masters at the top of their game. Yeah Well, Kilmer, a sauntei and mom, a sauntei The thing you said earlier about them being washed up has been I was being sarcastic. They are still husbands. Yeah

I was being sarcastic. They are still husbands. Yeah. Asante, you know, I guess he's Cuban. I don't know, but like I know his background. I said that during the movie that it's like he had his regular Cuban accent, but then the director's like also played as like a New York Italian police officer. You know, so he's layering this other but then put on a grand rapids accent on top of that one and then put this sock in your mouth there many lines where you literally cannot understand what he's saying and again if this is because of a physical impairment I apologize for poking fun at it but I think maybe he's just used to really good ADR work maybe and they just couldn't afford it for this film. He crafts his performances in the looping rooms afterwards. There are many scenes where he and Velkheimer stare each other in talk and seem to go into

the scene. Well, there are many scenes where he's driving with Velkheimer in the back seat, and then Velkheimer's face will be also superimposed on the screen in like the front seat. So there are two Val Kilmer's on screen at once. Yeah. The best, yeah, there's constant superimpositions for no reason. And then like what's the like two, you know, double, yeah, the, oh yeah, split screens for no reason.

The best superimposition is when the sexiest of the women is reclining. She's the one who's taking her top off. I don't remember if she had her top on at the time or not. But she's the one with the nails in her head. Eventually, yes. She doesn't have the nails yet. She's reclining and Vel Kilmer's head is super-imposed over her crotch. So it looks like... It's just emerging from her. I'm like the sexiest pain in super-imposed. But it's really like Salvador Dali was on set that day and they decided to let him

direct this shot. Well, there's a scene early on where the three men and three women are getting to know each other in this, the spa dating, the sauna dating that, you know, has been sweeping the Natives guys. Because when you're doing speed dating these days, half the time is in a steam room. That's right, because when you're going on, not just a blind date, but a blind group date. And these are all people with psychological trauma

who have had, who are worried or anxious in some way. It's best to do it in a place where you wear not very many clothes and it's really hot. Yeah, you want to sweat it out. You want to be as uncomfortable as possible. I'm going to get it all on. That's the best way to meet somebody, right? somebody right is to be really hot wearing very well close yeah exactly but they're they're talking about their lives there explaining

who they are and they will have one person in a big like close-up headshot on one side of the screen and then they'll have another person and the other side of the screen reacting as if they're listening but it's clear that all of the reaction shots were just the director being like, all right, we're going to shoot a bunch of reaction shots now, and the actors had no idea what they're reacting to. There's no connection in the reactions to what the people are saying, and they're just imposed on the sides of the screen. It's, you know, it's de Palma without any sense of, you know. And some of the times, instead of like,

if I wasn't paying attention, I would think that one of the characters was just really small. It was really big, so it makes it a little bit. Yeah, it's force perspective. It's like in fellowship with the ring or something. Yeah, absolutely. During those scenes, there's also a lot of editing where someone will be talking, and then it will cut

to a shot of them not talking, but the audio will continue, and then it will cut back. So it's these,, but the audio will continue, and then it will cut back. So it's these, like, I guess they're trying to disorient you, but they do it in just a way that makes you angry, as opposed to confused. Someone will be talking, and then it'll cut to a shot of the same person talking, but their lips no longer match what they're saying.

Yeah, that's true. It's like that weird, like, that monologue that Eric Roberts does near the end of the movie, where, where like he'll be talking while sitting in this like in the pool of water and then he'll be talking about the same shit pacing around. Yeah. And I'll talk again and I'll be back in the water and like wait, are these these things happen the same time? Did like did he just happen like did they like cut it all together weird?

Yeah. What are we supposed to believe is happening right then? Are we cut? Did he give the speech a couple times or is it he's getting up and getting back in again? It does yeah. Is he super fast or maybe are there multiples of it? Yeah, maybe JV maidrocks. I've never heard of pronounced maidrocks, but I've never heard it pronounced ever so So guys I bet I was assumed to as mad rocks But these people you know I Bet that they prove Val Kimmerong I bet they get along pretty well. That's team room together. I bet that you know incorrect Oh really? Yeah, they crack within minutes. Yeah, like five minutes and as soon as what like even before they

Like even before somebody tries to leave and find out No, this is after they find out they locked in I thought they weren't getting along Well, no, they're already angry and yelling at each other then when they find out they're taking intense immediate dislike to each other. It is a very unsuccessful date The, particularly the sexy girl and the Brooklynite Yeah Just, you know, oil and water guys

Uh, and they're both liquids and yeah and he realizes that it would be oil the Brooklyn guy huh is that what you're trying to say because he owns an Italian restaurant oh Dan come on because the greasy Dan that is right that's offensive I think that the movie was offensive they put him in a leopard print speedo each He's the other thing. He has a tattoo of one of his family members, presumably on his own. And the girl has a tattoo of like a fairy or something. Right above her, yeah. Her general area. Her coach, as you said,

definitely put it. Right beneath her navel. Let's say that. But, like as soon as he realizes they're trapped He rips a pipe out of the wall and starts trying to break open the window in the door of the sauna a reasonable strategy I would say yeah, yeah, and one thing that we can use to break a softer thing and later It's a strategy that works. Yeah, but they're all yelling at him. What are you doing? I stop what are you doing and he gets mad at and the and the the sassy broad yes starts yelling at him that he's a failure something i don't remember

and he gets some add that he starts trying to choke her to death uh... and it all happens very quickly yeah and uh... yet he's choking her with a pipe and then uh... the catatonic woman uh... stabs him with a piece of a shard of title of the book and title yeah which i mean there's four other people in the song alike they could easily restrained this guy

i mean you have no one to blame for them so yeah crazy girls and then the crazy girl eventually a grief slits her own throughout well that's not the crazy girls. And the crazy girl eventually had a grief, slits her own throat. Well, that's not get ahead. That's the first of the six little Indians to die. Oh, that's right.

OK. This is a scenario. Who comes next, nail head? Nail head goes. Hell raiser's pinhead. It's the one who dies. Doug Bradley? Oh, yeah.

No, they're big scheme next is to lift up the sexy girl. They've broken up the window of the door. They've broken up the window of the door. And put her head out of the little window. At first it looks like they're going to use her as a ram to ram down the door, but they put her head out and this masked figure, who I don't think we ever get any closure on exactly who it was. I gotta assume it assumes that it's Velcoma.

If I, their Velcoma are a crazy doctor. Yeah. Oh no, crazy doctors in the sauna. It's like I'm in a garage, two places at once, like Jamie Maydrucks. Yeah, holy shit. But Jamie Hydrocks. But they never say. They don't brand Oreo.

They never explicitly say that it's Velcoma, but some figure comes along and nail guns, the girl Thrice and before and acting indicated And somebody's comfortable as well at that point like again This is an experiment with very specific conditions that wouldn't really be replicated in the real world But at that point the entire experiment falls apart Global warming starts. There's just gonna be nail guns roaming the streets. I guess Warming starts. There's just gonna be nail guns roaming the streets. I guess

Shooting people who are trying to leave the earth like I've some I've some I've some literature about 2012 that you should read Stewart Mind calendar look it up That's like 2012 is my favorite conspiracy theory, by the way, because it's, or, or, or, or or cataclysm theory, because it's like, oh my God, this calendar that people stopped using 500 years ago, kind of hints that the calendar will stop in 2012. Whereas maybe like, maybe the minds are just like, you know what, we don't need to go past 2012. I mean, you know what we don't need to go past 2012 I mean you know what you're doing this so that's so far in the future. You know what just figure it out Tell it's 1506 right now. We've got six hundred we got 500 years

But like these people who didn't know what germs were Obviously could foresee the future These people who thought men riding horses were gods. You know, you got to respect the indigenous people. I don't. Probably, probably, probably no magic or something, right? Well, they knew that the only way to appease the gods was cutting people's heads off.

And that's true. That's true. They had the inside track, 2012 it is. But anyway, yeah, nail guns. Yeah, so that's number two. That inside track twenty twelve it is but anyway uh... yet nail guns yes that's number two that's the second casualty and then uh... catatonic girl is overcome there's a long sequence a lot a long long sequence will operate

playing now that's what that's all that's what this is also movie that with the characters No, it's more like Madrimad. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, overexposed, steam room, bright yellow sequences of things happening in the lotion. Oh look, that's the entire, everything in the sauna is bright yellow and and or bright orange and overexposed and. That's some like you feel like you're there Elliot, feel that heat. But slow motion wet on your body. I feel like we should have turned like boogie nights. Yeah, we should have turned the heat up in the year dude. Let's watch it again. I think I think that mustache is doing the job

It's too late. That's the way it was originally shown. It was like one castle show that they showed it in a song. Yeah, they had a guy with a mustache in every theater Slowly turning up the thermostat Statistically, there probably was a guy with mustache. Well, they're not as popular as they once were They were only showed in two theaters in mustache county Originally called the mustache experiment They had to go back efforts and digitally erase the mustaches all the actors were My theory is that when global war we starts everyone will want to shave their mustaches because their upper lips are gonna be so sweaty You're crazy

Pettis Velcomer's name is pet is pet is by the way. I refused to print this theory on the front page of the newspaper. You're so cool. Primarily because it is completely unimportant. You're so-called mustache festo about this on this topic. But anyway, that's- Oh, so nail head. There's a long, long, long sequence of like people putting towels over the dead woman.

And like, oh, the catatonic girl comes up and kisses the dead woman and the least sexy girl on girl scene, you said. Ever. I was for a little bit of franching. Sure. No. That's kind of nothing. You know, and the key words on the IMDB key words,

it has to be lesbian, necrophilia. It has got to be one of the things. Well, you want to see what movies are recommended along with it. Because I might have talked about this on a previous podcast that whatever reason I don't remember why I was looking up the entry for from hell on IMDB and it said if you like this movie you might also like Rising Sun It's like the only thing these haven't common is that prostitutes are murdered in that That's terrible

Who's choosing their movies based on that criteria? Anyway, plus if that's all you care about, you can just turn on Cinemax at like 12th, any knife and see it. So they're usually strippers that get it? I guess it's not angel. Angel? Angel, yeah. You know, student by... Oh, student by day, stripper by night.

Yeah, I think that this is like possibly the most reference movie on this podcast. I've never seen it. Angel. Yeah. It's on the Netflix. OK, well, OK. So I guess that's your recommendation. There's put on your team.

No, I got way better. There's the girl on girl, Necrofilmia. And then she kills herself. And who comes after me? Yeah, because it's in a movie. And then is Eric Roberts the only one left to die after that air roberts dies he uh...

he he begins to think that the last remaining man and woman are in cahoots and they are in cahoots and she beats him to death with uh... dragon sculpture that fell off the wall oh, and the steam comes out of dragon mouths in the sauna. All right, well, so just like in Chinese mythology, we've pretty much run through this and we're getting a lot of time. So let's talk about this twist ending. Okay. My problem we barely even talked about our monoclonte as an ability to speak English. So twist ending. Well, probably this is, so looking back on this, what are we to believe?

We're to believe that this doctor created some sort of work release program for this crazy fellow camera and allowed himself then to be like put into this experiment then. Yeah, so that he could touch human chaos. And then got, the balcony we get to recaptured but the ones like oh he's controlling you now i don't think that about the number of first of all is any threat now the

beginning at the end of this film he's he's combatoes basically i don't know it's like dr. mabusa you know even though he's in a coma he could probably control other people's minds but also i don't understand like that's a german film reference for you guys. For playing. Look at that. Testament of Dr. Mabuzzi. I know. It's the second one. Pine.

But that's the one where he's that yeah, he has taken people's minds from the Beyond the Grave or something. Uh, but the like why did he get released in the first place and did he honestly? They released him to set up this plan. No, because he says released him to set up. He says going to it says going to the press was a mistake they released him said he could set up this sauna experiment and then he got out of their clutches and you know went to the press to tell them about his crazy mixed up bullshit it was it like it was weird because the movie went... As Lee Frank and Wilder's crazy, just the bullshit. Uh...

The uh... The movie goes from being like a saw type movie of like, I've trapped these people, and I'm gonna see how they react into... To play a little game. Yeah, into like Batman territory of like, well, the crime asylum run by Doctor Crazy as another crime experiment to hold. It just becomes a different universe.

These are sounds have to stop hiring crazy people to run them. That's like the number one problem in our health today. It makes really a silent guy. Exactly. Yeah. It makes you examine yourself. It's the important thing. Who's really crazy?

That's all on a deal. Who's really crazy? Chasers, yeah. Money-todders. Baby's day out. That movie about a zombie woman's prison. Anyway, so my other problem with the movie is a hole. This brings it up. This feels like one of these movies where the screenwriters like, What's an issue I can peg this movie to like what's an important issue that I feel

strongly about oh global warming But the problem in all these movies is These movies always want to address these big issues by making the person who's concerned about these issues into a crazy lunatic. Yeah. And so I'm like, so I guess that so I were to believe that global warming isn't a problem because crazy Valcomers behind it. Like I think that the screenwriter wants us to think about these issues, but instead we're kind of like, well, God, I hope I don't get trapped in a steam room. That's the moral way.

Better stay away from these global warming wackos. Better not answer any weird ads on the internet. If a dating service offers me $5,000, I will not take it. I will assume something's up, because that seems weird. You normally pay for the dating service. You know what? I might just not even set foot in grand rapids. How about that?

Let's just avoid grand rap, especially. I'm so into the movie. That's just common sense. That's good advice. But yeah, but it's I think what the movies are really trying to say is that when the apocalypse happens and it gets really hot out That's the main feature of the apocalypse is it gets really hot out. Oh my god. Super hot guys. This apocalypse is just sweltering and all these Italian meatballs guys

Flip it out for listening and trying to kill the hot chicks Flip it out for this thing and try to kill the hot chicks Italian meatball boys like like like vendors like Like chef boy or D like Probably And they're gonna start trying to choke all the hot chicks and we're gonna be like no dude Don't and then some crazy broad is gonna stab them all and it's it's gonna be a whole fucking My the apocalypse sounds terrible it's gonna be a fucking it's gonna be a

problem yeah but before things get bad there are gonna be towels women running running around just very briefly well that was that was not brief I mean actually took a very long time to linger in I never realized before how much context I like for nudity and films that like as much as I like it to look at topics.

Can you sexy it up a little bit with the story? No, it's almost like if this was porn, then it would... You can't even come here to deliver your milk. No, you must go out. No, but if it was pornography and suddenly a woman took her top off, it'd be like, I don't need a reason. But to watch a real movie, if a woman just takes her top off for no reason, it's for some reason that it becomes not sexy, like it's sort of angered you like it's like you really think this is going to

win me over yeah please I am more discerning than this I don't believe that women just remove their tops willy nilly whereas in my experience that is not the case sir or even happens around David to come or even like when we watched the crappy Friday the 13th remake, like women took off their tops and it was like, uh-oh, tops are coming off, but like, you know, because they're crazy, at the whole point of those movies, those crazy teams are trying to have sex with each other.

But if they've established a universe, the Friday the 13th universe, for that happens. But 13th the verse, yeah. But in this one, it's literally, she's in a room full of people she doesn't like and she just takes No, she doesn't know and takes her top off for no reason It's not even like it was a the top was covering her that well and then puts it back on again. It really doesn't it's just so blatant And and when somebody compliments her on her on her breasts. She

She's antagonistic. Yeah, she doesn't like it. And yeah, that doesn't win you. So what you're saying, Ellen, is you would prefer to see where late in the movie, everyone was suddenly like, we gotta get these clothes off. Exactly, yeah. What's so hot? Yeah, that would have been more senseless.

Just some reason. And your zone is blown all over the place. I'm super turned on. Yeah, let's see. Again, but it's context. If I was watching a movie called like, you know, Bikini Sonic Girls, and they were just like, yeah, but it's context if I was watching a movie called like, you know, Bikini sauna girls And they were just like well trying to take our tops off then I'd say this makes sense to me You can just call the Bikini experiment at that point. Yeah

Okay, I mean I guess as soon as he's starting involving Bikini's chaos is he goes to like he goes like Now I think it was an entire like Bikini parody of this movie. He goes to like he goes like now I think it was an entire like bikini parody of this movie where he goes to like the boob times and it's like you've got a you've got to publish my report about bikinis dissolving in the heat in the year. Yeah yeah global warming is gonna make people's bikinis fall off. You're crazy old man. I'll show them so he brings like six sexy women into a sauna to show their bikinis fall off you crazy old man I'll show them so he brings like six sexy women into a sauna to show their bikinis fall off

or mother son days yeah okay he plays inspector tits worth of the federal bikini inspectors so I think that we need to uh... move along and we should uh... give our final judgements uh... final judgements now was this uh... was this movie totally what was it i can't remember what my my jute

but you but first but i was aware is this movie totally scarifying is it uh... Is it frighteningly funny? Or is it totally snorrifying? That's what those were. That's right, that's right. So Stuart, why don't you go? You can't see this listener, but Stuart's putting his thumb in a downward position.

And meing. You can hear the fart noise That's how you can this movie is fucking piece of shit Ellie I at it started out Frighteningly funny, but then it got totally snorrifying So you know, it was like it was it was kind of funny how bad it was at first and then about 20 minutes in You know you realize that there was 70 minutes left of this movie it is It was kind of funny how bad it was at first and then about 20 minutes in, you know, you realized that there was 70 minutes left of this movie.

It is like sleep inspiring. However, that was director's intention. Yeah, well it was originally supposed to be a replacement for Nightquale. Yeah, it was like it. It's like it. Oh, that's why there was that warning on the box. They were looking for a film substitute for Anvie. Yeah, so it's a fantastic,

McGorical Dream Skate film. That was much good. That's what I was saying. I would say that if you're like a bad movie fan and for some reason, like this is on television, I wouldn't say rented, but if it's on television, watch like the first 30 minutes. It's for watching the whole thing.

It's very funny, then maybe flip back for the last 10. But in the middle. So what you're saying is, DVR this movie. Tivo this movie and then it's fast forward through a lot of it. Because a lot of it is actually much funnier than any bad movie we've seen in a while. And the problem with watching more major releases all the time is usually those films have a certain level of competence yeah even if they're terrible that this one did not have this film did not have no no so like the laughs in it like the big laughs were bigger but then there was a lot of really slow stuff yeah basically the sauna scenes were pretty awful yeah with Velcomber's performance that was the comedy performance of the year like oh I always say it's a bit of a comic actor that he's a

medic actor that like that's that's a performance that if like if they want to make like an epic movie team movies scary movie type parody yeah yeah a shitty saw movie that's it right now he's he's the lead he's the bad he's basically playing Chris Elliott and scary movie too I think yeah well he threw a little bit of Heath Ledger's Joker in there also yeah at times but but bad yeah but not good yeah all the good parts about Keith Ledger's I love how you're you're gonna stop listening to this podcast you refuse to give the minimum level of respect to a dead man. Who was in a movie you liked? Um, I like to know it's really good.

But, all right, so let's move on to our recommendations of movies that we actually... Recommendations. Enjoy. Oh, the movies. Um, I'm gonna start off, and I'm gonna say that I'm gonna apologize. I'll hug the spotlight. I never do this. But I'm gonna apologize that I'm gonna recommend a movie that I've seen half of and I'm doing this because I've been so busy. Look at the look on Stuart's face is shocked. Well the other half is waiting on my DVR Stewart so if I watch this better be like fucking

Boolean Alexander Plot since just so long, you haven't even watched it yet. If I watch the other half and I don't, if I don't like the second half, I will recant on the podcast. This charming romantic film audition. Yeah, Dan, we'll hold you to that. If you don't like it, you must correct yourself. Yeah, but I've just been really busy this month and speaking of busy My sketch group is doing two Halloween shows one of which one of which will be done by the time this podcast goes out But I'll put a link up for the second one. That's part of why I've been busy, but um

But I recorded the show off of I have this movie off of IFC on a late Saturday night And I like how late on Saturday night they play sort of like sleaze-ear films they're like here's a forgotten exploitation film. I don't know they'll play maniac in the middle of the day. That's true. But I recorded a movie called Terror Vision. Oh I saw that in the in the cable guide. Yeah. It was right after video drum right? Yeah. And this movie like I only've only seen half of it, but the half I've seen is great. It's got Mary Warnov's last name.

She was in eating Raoul and chopping mall, and she was in a lot of early 80s, advertising films. Let's say she's in films. And I don't remember. It's just a real time capsule of things that people thought about in the early 80s like the main characters like the two like parents are of swingers and

The daughter is like a Cindy Loper-esque Like girl, and then there's the the punk slash metal guy who's like Malorie's boyfriend from Family Ties and it's done in all these day glow colors. It basically looks like Joe Dante's segment of Twides on the movie all the way through it and it has these great practical special effects of the monster. This monster, which is basically alien toxic waste that has been beamed down into a satellite dish. It looks like the John Ritter hit stay tuned. Yeah, except for with monsters. toxic waste that has been beamed down into a satellite dish and it looks like the John Ritter hit stay tuned yeah except for with monsters and that's another like early 80s thing they're like well oh

John or film stay tuned it's like early in the 80s like oh there's so many cable channels these days yeah and that's basically the premise of the film there's so many cable channels these days one of them has to pick up a monster monster in it. And it also feels like a real there's 47 channels. It feels like a really like like weird like horror mad magazine thing. Like I kind of feel like in a way the 80s were the last gasp of the underground just because like there wasn't the internet that bound us all together So we're doing things we're kind of harder to find like this movie doesn't go that far But it still has that feeling of like we're getting away with something weird that you wouldn't see like it's a movie

That would have been released to VHS tape and you would have seen it in your local video store But anyway, I've enjoyed it so far. That's my recommend. I'll have a look out for it. Well, I'm going to recommend two movies that I've seen all of. One of them will be very brief. It's a movie called Trick or Treat. It's got a release.

Holy shit, you've seen it. Yeah. And that was, I think you know, it's been getting a lot of the press. I thought it was pretty good. I would also, I mean, it's the type of horror movie that if I saw it when I was like 13, I would be like, this fucking movie rules. But like, as it grown up, I'm like, oh, this is fun, it's cool, it's cute. And the other movie I want to recommend is a movie called Savage Streets starring Linda Blayer. It's this awesome exploitation like teenage gang movie where like there's a gang of girls and this like evil gang of guys that like start screwing with them and they end up like

raking the female gang leaders. Wow, wow, wow. They buy a young Lena Quigley and then Linda Blayer goes after him with a crossbow. They end up like raking the female gang leaders Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's the kind of context I'm talking about for New York. Yeah, it's a fucking sweet movie. There's a lot of awesome music. Some of it written originally for the film. Go check out this movie, Savage Streets. All right.

Elliot? I'm going to recommend Strangely Enough a movie I also saw on IFC. Which I just saw recently that I enjoyed a lot. Which is a Japanese kind of samurai ghost movie from 1968 called Black Cat, which is not available on DVD, I think, but it will probably run again on IFC. So keep an eye out for it, it's during the feudal samurai wars of Japanese history, and this woman and her daughter-in-law are alone. Their son, sledge husband, got sent out to fight in these wars, and they're living alone in the forest, in their house, and a band of roving samurai comes by and rapes and kills them as happened all the time in ancient Japan, according to movies, or medieval Japan. And so they become

ghosts, who also turn into cats, and who basically seduce samurai into coming and staying with them and then kill them in the middle of the night and drink their blood meanwhile the sunslash husband has made a name for himself on the battlefield by killing a giant and he is tasked with the job of stopping the finding out what's killing these samarais and destroying it and i won't go any further than that but it's it was directed by the same director who made the film only bob which i think i also recommend for

and uh... i recommend that oh maybe you recommended it uh... but it's it's very similar in tone to that except where where Ona Baba doesn't really have any supernatural stuff in its boiler alert. Black Cat is full of supernatural stuff, but it's really creepy, and there's some really neat, like, weird editing moments too. Speaking of Asian horror movies, have you ever seen a house-oo?

Or a house? No, I remember when they kind of released it shortly here, but I have not seen it. I have only seen screenshots of that on the internet, and it looks like the craziest thing in the world. I so much wants to see that movie. We should rent it sometime. Yeah.

Well, guys, I think we should wind things down, mainly because due to the aforementioned busy month, I may not have time to edit this much. So my apologies. Yeah, I did. My apologies. My apologies much. So my apologies, my apologies, my apologies. What are you, Armando Sonday? Take that, Armando. Oh Stuart, you're a class cut up.

Yeah, my apologies to anyone who's listened to this far and thought, hey thanks seems sloppy. Hmm, that was kind of a flabby episode. It's more like Slop House. But uh, before we go I plugged my sketch group which I'll put up on the blog but do you want to say anything about your next screening? I would like to. I have another screening coming up at the 92nd Street Y, Tribeca, location on 200 Hudson Street in Manhattan. November 4th, Wednesday, 8 p.m. I'll be showing the film The Gun Fighter with Gregory

Peck, which is a great Western that does not get the do it deserves because it was directed by Henry King who is not an author, so he doesn't get a lot of name recognition. But it's one of the great Westerns and the first great kind of psychological Western or adult Western with great impact and then in just the next last screening of the years December 2nd the day before my birthday I'll be showing Preston Sturgis is the miracle of Morgan's Creek with special guest Kristen Shaw who you may know from her guest spots on the daily show or as Mel the superfan in flight of the concords. She will be coming

by to talk to me about her impressions of the film and my impressions of the film. But that's not till December. So if you go to 92YTribecta.com, I'll put up a link. Okay, put up a link. Dan will put up a link. But November 4th is the gunfighter. It's a great movie and you should see it. And December 2nd is Miracle Morgan's Creek with Special Gas Christian Shaw. Stuart, do you have anything you want to plug quickly beside your mustache wax? Yeah, I just want to I just wanted to recommend a friend of mine who's worked I've recommended in the past Alex Smith and who's a fan of the podcast. Also has a put together a little film for the Louisville 48-hour film project. You can see it on YouTube.

The titles bring back the Bishop Sack. I totally recommend it. All right. So guys, this has been good. Shoptober's over. Makes me a little sad every year. Well, get ready for show, Vemper. We do nothing but showtunes movies.

Holy shit. Well, I'm excited for that now. Well, I've been Dan McCoy and I remain Elliott Kaylen good night we're back on songs Dan doesn't know all the words too. Dan, I don't like it. It looked like when I looked in your mirror, I realized I have more gray hairs than I thought I did.

Well, at least I have that on you. Yep. You have so much. Oh no, my hair will go gray long before yours does, Dan. you