The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #49 - Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Episode Date: November 8, 2009

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme0:38 - 39:10- We dive right in and discuss a movie based on a video game character that was only popular because preteen boys are too scared to talk to real girls - Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.39:11 - 40:10 - Final judgments 40:11 - 41:33 - A CONTEST WINNER ANNOUNCED, for the contest everyone (even the hosts) forgot was happening.41:34 - 47:47 - The sad bastards recommend.  47:48 - 50:17 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme and outtakes.50:18 - 51:17 - Station identification.

This week we take on a movie made for anyone who ever played a video game and thought to themselves, I wonder what her story is. Street Fighter, the Legend of Chun Li. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaylin, don't you know. So guys, this is the podcast where we watch a bad movie and we chat about it. Yeah, why are you telling us that? We've honest. Exposed facto. Well, I'm telling you that for the all.

Hey, I just got that bit where you say don't you know, that's like Irish, right? Were you an Irish baby born in Thailand? Yeah, I was an Irish baby. My parents were missionaries who died when I was a baby But I still have an Irish accent your attain elements of your Irish accent. Yeah, I became I became a well-known thief on the streets of Thailand stealing baskets of fish Sure, we saw film that had the Yeah, well the black guy was like the plot of the movie That was the back story. That was like the plot of the movie.

The plot of the movie. It was a backstory for the main bad guy. Yeah. Well, I mean, he was loosely based on me. I'm not a villain. And he's older than me. He was also based on the popular... Everything else though is exactly the same.

Exactly the same. Yeah. And you have taken your conscience and inserted it into a baby. Yes. Yeah. But in this case, that was just to keep it safe. Yeah, of course. That character was also based on the Hansen song, um, Bison, the popular Hansen song that was fucking terrible. Well, we watched Street Fighter the Legend of Chun Li,

Gaze You Are Wondering. Yeah, so, um, it's based on the popular... It is, and the word legend is very loosely used. Series Street Fighter. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't... It's a Street Fighter 2. We all remember Street Fighter 2, Street Fighter 2, Turbo Edition, Super Street Fighter 2.

Turbo Remix. Street Fighter 2.1, Beta. Street Fighter XP. Yeah. Those are, you play those in arcades down in Chinatown, right? Against kids. I mean I didn't I didn't play them in China. Oh, you mean now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I well I'm a turnie guy. I go for the turnies Sure Who's your guy? Which guy do you like to play with? Well, it depends on how I'm feeling that day

Sure if I'm feeling a character who's a little lighter on his feet. I'll go with Vega because he's got a Spanish gay thing That's very I'll mode over but you know if I want to more characters more of a bruiser. I'll go with Vega, because he's got a Spanish gay thing that's very, I'll mode over. But, you know, if I want to more characters, more of a bruiser, I'll go with Blanca, because electricity attack is good for keeping the kid I'm playing against off-balance. And he has really cool chest hair. Yeah.

And you like to make the sound effects when he wins, you like to make that same sound effect. Yeah. I like that the other characters are vaguely human-race. He's just like a beast. Clearly, it's a beast. Yeah, I like that the other characters are vaguely human race he's you know just clearly some kind of a and like why would they let him into the world warriors to surprise these were in pants. Well guys to set this up for not nerds which makes up as much as 5% of our audience you are overestimating Street Fighter 2 of course was a member of the popular genre video game known

as the fighting game side scrolling fighter. Fighting games of course was a member of the popular genre of video game known as the fighting game. Side scrolling fighter. Fighting games of course known for our plots. Or a sprite based fighting game. Yeah, which make it the best thing to adapt into a film, a feature film. I mean, you know, sometimes you're being a little sarcastic game. I think I think I think that might not be coming through to the audience. The literary term would be irony sure what I'm doing sure

well You know the movie mortal combat was Was really good I had high hopes going into this one This is moral combat and street fighter with the two big games like you in the kids would divide up whether they were street fighter Person or a mortal combat person. Yeah, and they were like dance battles between the groups. Like, you, in the kids would divide up whether they were street fighter person or a mortal combat person. Yeah, and they were like dance battles between the groups of kids. Yeah, yeah.

Wrap-offs. Wrap-offs. That's based on the content of the game. It's a wrap-offs. It's just dozens fights. You know, things that happened in the 90s is when I'm sure I'm thinking about it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Bosnia Lewinsky trial You see hammer and see hammer Jurassic Park yeah all these things so Yeah, so this this movie is based on It's based on Street Fighter. Yeah, but not really not yeah, no, it's based on a character Well a couple of characters, but mainly primarily

one character. Well, it is a movie with a street fighter. They have written a story and they have given some of the characters in the story, the names of street fighter characters. Yeah. It's what it comes down to. And in one case, the glove of a street fighter character. Yeah.

And the, and the Hadookan Fireball Power. Yeah. Sure. So I don't know. Let's, I feel like we've probably already confused everyone. So let's, let's start with synopsis. Yeah. Sure. So I don't know. Let's I feel like we've probably already confused everyone. So let's let's start with synopsis. Okay. Shouldn't we? Yeah, that's fine. Can we start with Thanatopsis? The classic American poem by William Cullen Bryant? No. Okay. Well then let's do a synopsis then. I would take a stab at it because I feel like this always goes to

Elliott but I was sort of sick today so my brain is a little busy. About 12 minutes into the movie you got up and made popcorn for a while. Yeah, about another 12 minutes. Here, here, let me let me let me take the ring. So there's this little girl who's like half Chinese and half, I guess English, I don't know. Something. Yeah. And she and her dad are in Thailand. Played by, well not played yet. No, they're in Hong Kong.

But eventually they were played by Kristen Kruk, also a mixed phrase actor. Who doesn't look at them? Yeah. So they're in Hong Kong, you said. Yeah. And he's like teaching her kung fu and she loves her dad. And then a bunch of ninjas show up and michael clerk duncan show up and start beating up her dad

and then uh... neal mcdonough who in this movie uh... is playing a character named m by the so many other movie flamboyance movies is being a he been a season eighty eight minutes as the as the imprisoned killer oh yeah right i think at least one other one flamboyance listeners may remember him as being the guy with the transparent eyes the imprisoned killer. Oh yeah. Right. I can't at least one other one. Flophouse listeners may remember him as being the guy with the transparent eyes. He has the clearest blue eyes. You can get lost in them. He looks like he's addicted to the spice from Doon. Yeah, but they're

not like, they're not like Paul Newman like blue eyes. Like, he's a handsome man. Yeah. It's like, you know, this man has no soul. Yeah. And it's reflected by the fact that his eyes have no color Yeah, and in this movie, I think like his character didn't well. Well, I'm getting ahead of my whoa Let's just so this like they can't not the deal. This evil dude takes takes her dad and then I guess they just let her live in this giant house Well, the family still rich. I guess they're so wealthy Yeah, and she's a piano prodigy. She's a piano prodigy and her mom figures into the movie exactly none.

Her mom is dying of a fancy answer or something. She dies and then she grows up and then she dies and then she grows up. No, I'm talking about chocolate. Chocolate, you know, sorry. Main character, so she's, don't be so literal. She goes like wandering around looking for her dad or something.

And then she runs a file of these bad guys. And then she meets this weird ancient like trainer or something who's named again. Yeah, named again. He's just wandering the streets waiting for someone to train in the ways that he's popping up. And he's got a spider webb tattooed on his hand. Yeah. He used to be part of the big crime organization that M.

Bison, Neel McDonough, runs called Shadlou, what is it? Shadlou. Shadlou. And it isn't like the... But he changed his ways. Now he protects the people of the slums of Bangkok. But also, isn't the like the shell corporation for the bad bad guys named the Esperanto corporation. Yes, Neil, we've done also runs the Esperanto Corporation

and Esperanto security is because the huge size. The name that are the popular failed made up language that was meant to bring us all together. And it's a good cover. It's a good it's a good. It is one of the two most successful man-made languages. One with the link on. Yes of the two most successful Man-made languages Yes, those the most successful artificial languages. No, sure

So let's get back to the tail legend now So you haven't even introduced Chris So okay, let's let's Glow. Okay, let's, let's, uh, while, while, it's to find some place in the scroll, the scroll is in the soft of it. I've got my scroll right now. Charlie's being trained by, yeah, Charlie's being trained by this ancient master. While that's happening, uh, Chris Klein who is doing his best Jason Lee impression has

like a hard boiled, interpole agent cop guy who is always wearing like V-neck Like t-shirts and rolled up sleeve It's kind of like it's like a part Bruce Campbell would play if Bruce Campbell was really greasy. Yeah, and had no charisma and He is partnered up with with a moon blood good That's the actresses name. That's not the character. The character's name I don't remember. It's also not the name of a fictional werewolf. It's a real name. And she is apparently some kind of slutty cop. I don't... Well, here's the weird thing is she's part of the Bangkok homicide division,

but she doesn't look really very Asian either. And she's always walking around in really low cut tank tops and things. Yeah, but I thought she was part of Entropoul. Is that what Chris was calling? I don't think so. Well, Chris Lines is working with homicide. Yeah, she shows up with like SWOT guys at the point. Yeah, she's part of that thing. But she's lovable.

So there are like, there are like, we've got to talk about the races. About the races of the people who play the characters So they're like they're like you know, they're like our police characters effectively and they got a lot of really witty banter The kind of banter that you have no idea what the fuck they're talking about most of the time But they just say everything with a smirk on their face Yeah, you know it's a joke basically by the delivery, not by the content. Yeah. And eventually, I got to say, surely starts doing some shit, trying to beat up.

That's accurate. Eventually she does. She starts going after like the Bison's company and then somehow she crosses path with the cops and then something that's the embison's companies bring is trying to take over the waterfront slums of Thailand of Bangkok and then that subplot is dropped who cares sure and that something called the white rose is being brought into Bangkok that embison really wants badly and no one knows what it is must be some kind of super weapon yeah must be something amazing that they have to take.

Or Liz Taylor's new scent prep. Thea's have always brought me a lot. But the, sorry, so they decide they need this white rose thing and Chenle is trying to take down. Yeah, Chenle, you try to find it and then she ends up getting captured by Bison. She seduces one of M Bison's, I guess, female lieutenants. Yes, and then they have a fight scene in a battle.

Yeah, well, now we'll get into that. Yeah, that's a lot more death. Well, that's a lot of painfully erotic battle scenes. So she eventually gets captured. She meets her captive father who's been alive all these years. And then her dad gets killed and Bison snaps his neck. Yeah, right in front of her. Yeah. And then only serves.

And then he's like, he's like, okay, like whatever you suck and he leaves. Like, there's no way he can stop me and he leaves. And then of course, his two henchmen let her escape after she meets them up. And then she runs through the streets and then she gets shot and then she gets saved. She gets shot and then she's being chased by the two clumsiest henchmen in the world. They're running through these crowded Bangkok streets, not like, but they'll be knocking over fruit stalls and things, but there's plenty of room to run around the fruit stalls.

There's one scene where he, like I was literally like, shooting over a bunch of greenery. Like there's like a foot clearance, but then he felt like, oh god, I didn't get to push the greenery over. They, they, they, they, it's not my vision. They, they could very quickly catch her, felt like, oh god, I didn't get to push the greenery over. It's messing up my vision.

They could very quickly catch her, but they have to slow down and push over all these stalls. And then when the villains are almost at her, the town's people rear up and throw fruit at them and they run away. Yeah, you know, I think maybe those guys just like one of their tasks for later on the day, they went into their Microsoft Outlook and were like, task, push over fruit fruit, stuff, like, well, we got to do this, and we got to do that later. Why don't we just, we're here, let's get this out of the way. Knock some fruit over on the ground.

So yeah, so she gets shot and then that her sensei shows up. And who, she thought was dead because his house blew away. Yeah, he got hit by a missile launcher or something. And he shows up. And he uses magic to heal her bullet wound. And then they hang out for a bit. And then somehow they split up again. And then she goes and finds the cops who.

Who have seen her once. And she doesn't know their names. But she finds Chris Klein and says, I need backup. Yeah. And I don't know how she doesn't know his name, because he's constantly saying, Nash, and says I need backup. Yeah, and I don't know how she doesn't know his name because he's constantly saying Nash out. I'm Nash. Me Nash.

It was Nash. Yeah. Bring men in. And people are just shouting Nash. It's really weird. So they Nash could buy for Wellay Men. Nash. Yeah.

So they end up, there's a showdown at the, like that the Worf. yeah, and they realized that it was and it war yeah and some people get some bad guys get killed and then they find out the that white rose was was bison's daughter all along. Who bison's daughter who when he was a young man who grew up on the streets of Thailand as a fish thief who And he needed to for this makes no sense But he took his wife pregnant wife to a cave because he needed to appease the dark gods to get rid of his conscience Which I guess was holding him back in the crime game Like he could be advancing, but the conscience was getting in the way

So he plunges his hands into her pregnant belly and it's much less exciting than it sounds and puts his conscience in the in his infant daughter. Yeah, and that's the white rose that he wants to get because he seems to have lost track of her at some point. And I've always been under the impression that if a person wants to get rid of their conscience, they're basically almost there already. Like, you know, if you're the kind of person who's interested and Dibesting yourself if you're conscious you can basically just decide not to care about things and just do it that way rather than Mystically putting your conscience in a unborn child. Yeah, I mean at that point if you've already made the decision that you're gonna like Stab your pregnant wife in the belly with your hands. Yeah, I think you're probably okay like you Maybe I got a pretty good control your pretty evil. Maybe that's the twist.

Maybe it's like Dumb Bo's feather. Like the power was already in. Yeah, that's very uplifting and inspiring. Yeah. So, Street Fighter. So, what bike takes his his his daughter conscience to his house and all our good guys end up showing up at some point and There's some batland fight to the finish. Yeah, there's a fight to the finish and bison ends up getting his head Like snap like turn around all the way around and then You know everybody's okay at the end. Yeah, I like your I'm no surprise I'll hear some restart because it's sort of like a six-year-old talking out of a movie, so I'll ask Knight,

and then this happens. Oh man, and then this other piece happens, there's a bunch of battling. Yeah, there was not nearly as much battling as I would have expected. Yeah, there's maybe like five fight scenes in a 95-minute movie. And none of them are like,

it's not like they're old boy hallway marathon-length fight scenes, like they're just, you're normal. Yeah, a couple of wire are like, it's not like they're old boy hallway marathon like fight scenes, like they're just, you're normal like. Yeah, a couple wires, don'ts, a couple grabbing each other's arms and then like shifting your position around and grabbing their arm again. There's a very disappointing scene fight with Vega, another street fighter character who wears a mask and has three blades on one hand like Wolverine. And she takes him down in, I don't know, like two minutes. Yeah.

You made it in half. Yeah, never climactic. And then you expect he's made out to be like the Boba Fed of this universe. Yeah. And I almost assumed like, oh, OK, he'll come back at some point for revenge. No, he's just gone. Yeah. That's all I took.

I can only imagine that in the movie theaters that all the guys who you know Clunked down all their hard hard earned money to play the game the video game in the arcade who like to play with this Vega character We're really disappointed that their favorite character was not doing any of his signature battle and not even wearing madador pants Yeah, as he does in the game that That which is probably the best part of that. Yeah, well, Ed's thing, everyone in the game, everyone has these very specific outfits that they wear and in the movie,

they don't even go to that length of having them put on the costumes. He did slice through a chain link fence at one point and I believe that he would always fight it within a cage. Oh yeah, that's true. And like a topus bar. Yeah.

So, you think it was a topus bar? It was a bar of some kind and he's Spanish probably a top The plane flies to Spain when you're about to fight him You know that's for a few olives in between But and the character in the video game this character has really like very Affeminate sound effects when he does things and when he gets punched and he holds a rose But he doesn't do any of that in this movie. No, it's like not that not that that makes this a bad move They kind of rob zombie eyes for the character like he's a big lumbering idiot. Yeah, so guys Sure, so it's a bad movie. Yeah, well there are a few things worth talking about

I Think that one of them is that amazing sequence we talked about before, where for some reason, Chun Lee tracks down this woman who I guess is a big wig and the imbison of crime. Yeah, shadow. And figures, this is her way to get a message to imbison. And so she goes into this club, which is called what Insomnia is that? It's called Insomnia. It really like cartoony colorful letters.

And like burrito bar letters. And she walks in and she's wearing like a granny sort of outfit with her hair up into sort of short-worn. To put it in terms that our audience understands, she's dressed like Mon Mothma, but she has hair like Leia in the first movie. And she catches the woman's eye from across the room. Sure. And there's a media electricity.

I guess that were meant to think that this was her plan all along. I guess so. I've researched this lady, and I know that she's a lesbian with a fetish for bun hair. For Leia. Yeah, and so it was hot. That was a hot scene, man.

It was like that scene and that basic instinct. It was the least hot lesbian seduction scene I think ever in movie history. Yeah, as a straight man who, you know, sorry to our lesbian listeners. You know, as dance not into you he's taken no i'm saying i but i apologize to our lesbian listeners for doing the straight man thing of fetishizing lesbianism a little bit sure like this in the air something yeah sure

i would normally think okay sexy scene our our sexy heroine is going to the city's the slidie. No, like they go, they sort of dance awkwardly around each other, like really just- It's almost like a lesbian seduction at like a seventh grade dance. Like they don't get it, that close to each other and they're kind of too oldy.

Yeah, you know? They can't dance. Yeah. But that means that- Electricity between them. Let me tell you. The hench lady or boss lady follows her into the ladies bathroom and then this box gonna block the door

where it is for some reason it's assumed we'll find it sexy that they're having sex over a toilet but no that's not what happens that is the sexiest place ever sex. We've already covered that, Elliot. It's just a bunch of fighting. Yeah, instead of sex, it's a bunch of punching and a lot of white... Maybe the best fight scene in the movie, I would say.

Guys, maybe that's how lesbians have sex. I'm not wide. I'm not wide, but I don't have no personal first answer. I've only seen the movies and those are made for straight guys. Yeah, so it could be just a bunch of kung fu fighting. Yep. Wait, that's what that was. It was made. It looked like a bunch of arm bars and what smashing each other into things. Yeah, it was, well, they were fighting in a confined space. It was like the fist fight in from Russia we love. Oh, okay. Or the trailer and kill Bill. It was, it was also a lot like, it was like that

fight scene in the, in the bad house in Eastern promises. Yeah, yeah, exactly only except out of sexy only that was sexy Yeah, there's a straight man. I will say seeing the Morgan naked seeing the back of his scrotum It was it's very exciting. That's part of the scrotum That sounds like you're talking about it like you're gonna eat it. That's the kind of meat. That's the prize cut. We give that to the most honored guest. This is the filet m in scrotum.

So yeah, that scene was really good. You were talking earlier about how this movie plays a kind of loose with the ethnicity of its actors. Yeah, the main lead actress, so I guess Dan looked up on Wikipedia, and she is half Chinese, but she really doesn't look at it. And the main character, the main villain, he operates out of Hong Kong, but he's supposed to be Irish like he's white. As you pointed out before we like really got into things So I think the audience may have missed it. Oh, he does have an Irish acting despite coming to China

Despite being a baby. Yeah despite growing up well Thailand the fight growing up in Thailand He has an Irish accent because his parents were Irish so I guess it's genetic and Hiram Gringold or whatever her name is Blood goods. She has... Blood Goods. She does not look... She looks like maybe she's... I mean, I don't know what her ethnicity is, but she does not look tie, like, Chris Klein is the other hero.

He's... What's weird is he works for Interpol, but he's not English. Like, all the ethnicities are weird, but it's also... Maybe he was trying to say... She's like Native American, maybe. I don't think you walk around with a name like Blood Good and not that.

That might not be her real name. Something tells me Blood Good might not be her real name. That's just her vampire name. But it's one of these, it's marrying very much like a movie, like movies from the 30s, like The Hatchet Man or The Good Earth, where the main characters are supposed to be Asian but they're played by white or white looking actors. And then in the back you have real Asian people who are extras who don't say anything. And it's just weird that in a movie made, I guess what they made in 2008, that about

a character named Chun Li who's Chinese, that you don't have a Chinese actress. And if it's in Thailand, you don't have like a Thai actress. It was just very weird, like as if audiences today will not go to see movies with Asian characters or something. Yeah, it's not like the movie, like theoretically, if you're making a movie based on Street Fighter, I mean, there's, I'm guessing a relatively large Asian market for this sort of thing. I would think so. Because, I mean, that's all those guys I see playing the fucking thing down at the arcade. Well, it does seem like an odd choice. It's not refer to Stuart Wellington.

It does seem like an odd choice on another level that they didn't go out and get like a Hong Kong action star to play this role. Instead of a Jackie Chan. Yeah, a Jackie Chan and Dre. Some like it, Chun Lee Hot. A female action star, Stuart. Chun like it, hot.

No, it's good. I like it. Yeah, well. Because you're fighting for best jokes. And I guess. Anyway, let me say what I was going to say before Elliot injected that hilarious pun. Like they could have gotten someone of the correct ethnicity who could also fight but instead they're like, let's get that girl from smallville and cut it together with the stunt

devil. Why not get what's her name from Crouch and Tiger? Yeah. And Dragon. Which one? Zang Jimmy. Oh yeah. I don't remember how to pronounce her name.

Yeah, I bet you could do that stuff. Not Michelle Yo, she's 12 for the role. Yeah, unfortunately. But like a young Michelle Yo. Yeah. Like Super Cop there. I'm Michelle Yo type. Okay, so now you're doing like wizard magazine style cast.

Yeah, that way you cast it just based on what someone looks like. For Venom, Eddie Brock's a big guy and he's blonde, so how he long is a definite. Gambit will be Jean-Claude Van Damme, of course. Wolverine, Glendanzig. Sure, let's take him all off. I don't remember who else they had. Later Willer should be visioned, because he's awesome as a RoboCop. And Captain America would of course be how he long I am it's two rolls to roll

In Marvel movie he's not really doing anything I mean he's not since his ads with Terry Hatcher He's in the ads with somebody else now and it feels like he's cheating on Terry Hatcher. I love those ads because he was like are we supposed to believe they're married or they're roommates or you know I would see those ads and I would have I had no idea who Halley Long was and so like he's a football star don't exactly. He's a firestorm. And you have to admit me before you are aware that I would not know if it was football star, don't exactly. Firestorm. And I do it you. Secondary before you are aware that I would not know if it was secondary role in broken arrow.

Yeah, but that's the thing. Like years later, I learned that they weren't married. I'm like, what? Well, why were they in those commercials together? They were cheating on the business. That was a sense. That was like right after Lewis and Clark too. It was, yeah, it was what Terry, Terry. Terry Hatcher calls those her years in the wilderness.

Sure. Between Lois and Clark and Desperate Housewives. Heaven's Prisoners here? Heaven's Prisoners is somewhere around there. Gross. Alright. Thumbs down on her on that movie. Grady.

Let's just think about the cool surface. How about that? Alright, so here's something else I apologize to me about this movie. So apparently, Jen. Jen. Jen? Jen? Jim?

In the holograms. Jim is my name. No one else is the same. Jim is my name. Jim. So the sensei. Yeah. His character.

Apparently he's got magic powers. Yeah, he can make pedocons and heal people. Yeah. You can do that. Anakin, like, heal the cucks. He's like a phantologist. He uses his magic powers. Yeah, you make head oaks and heal people you can do that and I can like heal cuts He's like a fanologist. He uses his mind power Yeah, he's got a fucking sweet apartment. Yeah, he's got a real nice loft space until I mean obviously I've a lot of missile production like Duncan blows it up. Oh, yeah, Michael's like Duncan's in this movie too I just feel like if he has magic powers then things should be a lot simpler than

Well, it's kind of like D wars dragon wars. Yeah, where Robert Forster has he has magic powers then things should be a lot simpler than bearer. Well it's kind of like a dewar, dragon wars, where Robert Forster has these amazing magic powers, but he does all he does is appear occasionally and pull the hero out of jams, but it's very obvious that Robert Forster could solve the problem all by himself, like he's got magic powers. Yeah. It's kind of again can kind of do this. He doesn't need Chun Li at all.

No. I like to think that he's obsessed with the idea of getting somebody else to do it He's like lazy. Yeah Put in the months we have to assume of training but he's well he's motivated But he doesn't like leaving his house. Yeah, maybe he's a Gorf Obick Maybe that's one of my favorite things. Well, he does not really know his house. When my favorite scenes in the movie, Chun Lee first encounters again, he's being beaten up on a subway platform, and she saves him, but she doesn't see his face,

and then later, and you see his spider tattoo in his hand. Then later, This is five minutes into the movie. Five minutes in, then about eight minutes in, ten minutes in, she goes to a marketplace and bumps into a janitor sweeping the sidewalk and she notices he has the same spiderweb. She can't get around this guy, he moves so quick like a dancer.

Yeah. But then she goes into a store, feet away, and the woman says, you need to find again, the man with the spiderweb tattoo, and you have to go to Bangkok. And then the next scene is her leaving her house and flying in Bangkok. It's like, that dude was just just he's just a couple feet away like sweeping the ground right outside the wall and she shows is she like she mentions it then shows the tattoo they of course have a flashback in like it's like cp-at-home of her like seeing the guy with the tattooed like from

three minutes ago yeah like are they expecting the audience to be like? Like, oh, oh, but he had the tattoo, oh, I see what they did, that's amazing. The audience spends so much of its brain power remembering combos that it cannot take in plot development. I think the audience for the flop house does not realize what we now know to be true, having had to watch all these, which is the extreme

commonness of flashbacks to things that happened five minutes before. Like if you only watch good movies, you would not be aware that this is a thing, but having watched so many bad movies, there's so many flashbacks, like no one making a bad movie. Two footage from earlier in the film. Yeah, no one making a bad movie from earlier in the film yeah no one and making a bad movie has any a fake any faith in the audience's short-term memory like I mean I I guess maybe they're all stone maybe they all have bad like short-term members themselves I don't I think they expect this movie is bad only stupid people will see this movie yeah yeah it's like test audiences insisted that they added in those flashbacks. I think test audiences were like

What oh wait a minute? This the web this guy with the cobweb hand came out of nowhere. How was this this foreshadow that? Yeah, test audiences gave this movie an A plus It's testing through the roof. This is doing great. We've never had the The great response the dials were actually set backwards by accident So everyone was going boo terrible who's registering is fantastic best movie ever We haven't really talked about comparing this movie to Street fighter the old one with Raul Julian. Oh, he did that. I can't join in because I've not seen that old one

I haven't seen since I was a kid. I haven't seen since it was in the movie theater Rall Julia and Neil McDonough have very different ways of playing embison the same character. Yeah, Neil McDonough is more of a Evil businessman whereas Rall Julia's is more of a Kind of like Stalin, Mao type character. Yeah, and he also, there was a certain like fatalism in Rao Juli's performance. Yes. Well, like obviously now we know why, but yeah, it was just,

you know, there's just like almost a sadness that kind of hangs over him. Well, there's definitely, he definitely brings more to the role just by virtue of being Rao Jul. Yeah, and I mean, I think share Rale Julian, combined with the fact that his his opponent like his nemesis adds weight to him, you know, when when his bad guy like the good guy that he's fighting in Jean-Claude Van Damien as opposed to JC VD. Yeah, as opposed to some chick from Smallville. That makes him seem more badass, you know. It is weird though the part where Jean-Claude Van Amstert speaking French and Embeison goes, oh me amore and starts kissing up his arm.

That's weird. That was a little weird. They didn't do that in this movie. No. Ralejouli is an interesting case because he's a very good actor that nobody can seem to remember any of the movies that he made. So he's like, Ralejouli, oh he was a very good actor that nobody can seem to remember any of the movies that he made so it's like well Julia all he was a great actor Adams family Adams family the values just as a street fighter maybe they don't

remember to kiss this fighter like that was this big like prestige Adams family yeah yeah Adams families the role he will forever be associated with sure, I was going to say we're three penny opera. We have not talked about Chris Klein's Tour de Force performance. Yeah, he's fucking incredible. This is, I didn't realize Chris Klein could play another character, but what a character. You know, you see, you think Chris Klein, you're like, I imagine dopey guy. Yeah. You dopey jock.

Sure. Not so in this movie. You're, you're, you're, you know, non-union cano reaves. Sure. I like him more than cano reaves. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. We learn more about Elliott today. Well, I don't like cano reaves.

Is it like the, the like, eroticism and mainly sensuality brings to the world? Yeah, it's all, it's the exact opposite of that. Like, he's so bland that he makes blandness into a part of the character almost. But kind of like Paul Walker. Paul Walker's genuinely bland. Yeah, but anyway, here in the character.

This line is trying so hard not to be bland in the role. Yeah, Chris Walker as Nash is constantly moving around in weird ways, looking at things in crazy ways. Glowering into the camera. He delivers all of his lines as if they are the widiest, toughest things that this sarcastic but sexy detective could be saying.

You know, he thinks he's in an episode of California Cation, it feels like, you know. Well, he also, the character I think is conceived as if this guy, oh, he hasn't showered in a couple days You know, he's fished some coffee out of the garbage to drink in the morning like he's he's had Five cigarettes before breakfast, but he looks like the Disney version of that like he's been scrubbed and then some like Careful oil has been applied to his hair Yeah, you know, and then everyone's a while it seems like he's like he applied to his hair, you know. And then everyone's in a while, it seems like he's,

like his line delivery feels like he's channeling Sean Hayes or something, just gets way to. You were really obsessed with Sean Hayes because he is, matter of time, that dude is fucking hilarious. You get a chance. He is so funny. There's a great moment where Chris Klein is being sarcastic.

They have encountered Chun Lee. She's escaping from the nightclub and she runs through a strip club. And while she is there, she knocks out a bunch of gunmen by kicking them while swinging around the stripper pole. And Moon... I can't, sounds more exciting than it is. Yeah, it's really not. And Moon, blood good, says to him like, maybe she's just an angry stripper and Chris Klein's

like, oh yeah and I rate bold answer decided to go ahead and it's like sorry I'm in level your hand motions but it's literally like damn you were saying when we were watching movies like the director said like here you're being sarcastic and Chris goes like no I got I'm in practicing yeah I know how to do this i got this with coach so really there's a big like it is the is the most ridiculous sarcasm uh... yeah my favorite part was when all the police and interpol people find out

that you know uh... the bad guy has been secretly buying a property using his his shell corporation, Esperano course, Esperano security, and all the police look out the window to the giant tower. It says Esperano security. Right outside of their office. And then he's like, oh my god, they've been buying a property or whatever. They've been lowering, like, the prices and stuff so they can buy it up cheap. Let's get on it and they all run out the door. Yeah, let's, it's like where are we going?

What are we doing? What happened? Why is, how do we get on it? How did we find this out? Go find it like are they running, go find lawyers or something like, I like to imagine this soon as they like get out of the office. Like they're talking to each other.

It's like, do you know what we're supposed to do? No, I don't. I just thought that it would look good if we were, if we ran out of it. I left my keys in there. I got to go back. Would it be weird if I would maybe I should wait until he leaves?

It feels like there are two movies going on here, which is the very boring, chunley movie. And then the kind of hilarious action cop spoof with Chris Klein and Moon Blood Good. And it's like, I wish it was all that movie. Like they are in the kind of movie where they show up where the villains' enemies have all been left on the pier with their heads cut off placed on plates in front of them and they're like on their own plates and everything.

Well dinners served, you know, like all these made up stupid crappy witty jokes and like the and they're just really over the top and dumb Like I wanted to watch it was almost like someone saw shoot them up and was like yes Finally someone gets the way an action movie should be taken seriously and decided to add that into street fighter Street fighter led in the Chennai. Well, I would address something that you briefly did before which was that either we've led into Chen Le. Well, I want to address something that you briefly did before, which was that, as you said, these are kind of like parallel plotlines, and the first time they run into each other is at that fight in the strip club, and they see each other only briefly before Chen Le runs out.

And in that moment, well, but they don't know who this woman is at all. And then we see Chris Klein on the computer looking her up. As you said, Ellie, if you must have Googled her image, so he just has her face in his head, not her name. Like he scanned his brain and put that picture into the computer and said, find this picture. Right. And so she sees an article about her being a pianist. A respected pianist. It was disappeared. And then later on.

Every time they look at up the news in this movie, it is on the worst ugliest designed newspaper fake website. The biggest website is all open white space, rather than real website, which would be a bunch of ads all over the place. Like a big red block letters. Because they make all this big deal about how like secretive this shadow-low corporation is and the bad guy Bison. But of course, Chun Lee goes to like her local

like library internet cafe or something. Immediately just Googles I'm guessing shadow-low or something. And immediately the fucking Neil McDonough's face pops up. On a news paper it's like Esperanto core buying lots of property. Yeah. But anyway these two main characters don't know each other at all. And all that they've just run into each other face to face once and then... She probably doesn't even know who he like that he's a cop. Yeah. And then all of a sudden at the end of the movie looks like a cop Yeah, at the end of the movie all of a sudden she shows up in his apartment and it's like

I'm gonna go down to the docs and take these guys down. I need some backup and he's like all right Sure, whatever I'm on board. He probably said it probably a little bit wittier with like a weird lear on his face sure Scal. Oh, God. Great movie. Oh, it is a really stupid movie. I think you really summed it up best and that this movie only makes sense because you've seen other movies.

It is. So many decisions. The plot is so is by the numbers, but it's like they, it's so by the numbers they didn't bother to hit all the numbers, you know. they're just like yeah the audience knows how movies work. They'll fill in the gaps. Yeah. Okay so we're running over time so we should do our final judgment really fast.

Sure. And move on. We had a lot more to say about this. So is bad. Yeah is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie that you kind of liked in some way I will go with Elliott in the sense that If this movie was all about Chris Klein, I would think it was hilarious It'd be a good bad movie like cuz it is the worst performance I've seen in a major release film that I can remember

And it's hilarious, but everything with our actual main character is boring boring boring. So that's what I have to say about it Yeah, bad, I agree. I'm gonna go good bad on this one because everything about this movie is so stupid and terrible that it makes it kind of fun to watch it because it's so dumb. Okay, it wasn't that movie to make fun of, I'll give you that.

Yeah, that's what we say. That's all I'm saying. And it's only 95 minutes long, so it's not like seven pounds, which was roughly 18 hours long. Yeah, it felt like 49 hours long. So before we get into our recommendations, we should talk about the contest, the flop with the flop of the contest.

The contest, the classic sign fell episode. Yeah, it has been sweeping the nation. We got a record turnout of entries this year in the contest. I think we got one and then one guy who maybe was entering but didn't make it clear. And so congratulations, Dash. You've won the contest. Wait, did you say Nash? No. Chris climbs a great character from the Legend of Chun Li.

No, I said, Dash, the character from the Incredibles. Oh, okay. Never mind. Congratulations, Dash. If you're out there, get in touch with us at the FlophousePodcast.gmail.com. Do what you can to prove to me that you're not a crazy person, since we are going to fight you this past. Be a crazy person. Yeah, or be crazy. Yeah. And we'll work out the details of you coming for one of these podcasts. Coming out. Yeah.

Seeing how the magic happens. Yeah. Oh, I can taste the Popeyes already. Maybe he'll get lucky. He'll get the Popeyes you had earlier. Maybe he'll get lucky to watch the Wolverine movie with us. Yeah. We could always put a hold on that one.

No. I can't wait. So we can see Wolverine it briefly is a civil war soldier in the opening credits. Oh, it's tough teasing me. So now we should talk about movies that we actually liked in some way. Oh, okay. Recommendations. Anyone want to start? Yeah, sure. I was really sick last week. anyone want to start? Yeah, sure. I was really sick last week. So I was watching some movies. And I watched the movie Double Impact, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme in both of the starring roles.

And Bolo Young is the bad guy. There's some good fighting. There's a couple pretty good boob shots. Sure, we're gonna go like that. Yeah, all together. And I kind of built those boob shots up in my head when I was a kid. I built those boobs.

Yeah, I built them up in my head. I didn't build them out of Legos or like Paper, Poppier, Mache. But yeah, it was a good flick. All right, thumbs up. That's it was a good flick. All right thumbs up That's not the one What's the is it maximum what's the one with species? Overdrive what what's the one with the girl from species in it with John Club and damn hi?

I have no idea not double impact though, right now, okay, maybe lion heart Yeah, oh, it's the the quest that's what it is sure that it's like it's like it's like maximum blowhard or something okay i have seen that you have a lot of rents is well not some death well anyway clouds

uh... walk in the show that the end of in a walk in the end like water for sure death of a salesman like water uh... so i was sort of uh... But then damn, and a walk in the end. Like water for sure. Death of a salesman. Like water for sure. So I was sort of a sec today, so I have a lunch. Well, that's a both.

You guys have a touch of the swine flu? Well, we made out. Yeah. Oh, the mumps. Now, I mean, I don't think I had the swine flu. Mine was more pooping-based. Yeah, mine's. Swine poop.

Mine's totally slanted. No, that's not out. Yeah. So I don't think we have the same thing because I just pooped a lot. Did you, did you, did you poop my day? I would like to just recommend my movie, which is, it's called poop and it's, I watch everybody poops the movie. Star can't ever eat. 89 minutes of just people sitting on the floor. It's like one of those faces of dead things about like pooping. I watched Trick or Treat like you did last week's tour. Yeah, I enjoyed it. I think I enjoyed it even more than you did. What?

But I'm not recommending it because that would be a redundant recommendation. Sure. Repeat recommendation. I also watched Roman Polanski's Repulsion, but I don't think that that needs to be recommended in anyone It's a classic film. I will know about it a lot of a lot of build up to the movie here's in a recommend I just don't want to leave anyone out. I want Roman Polanski to feel bad that I didn't mention Herpology is a lot of it. Yeah, well, that's why I don't want to add to it Elliot um, but uh oh a lot of people better. Yeah, well, that's why I don't want to add to it, Elliot. But, uh, home, I did Dan, I'm managing a repulsion.

It's not even French. I don't know why you had a French accent. Yeah, but I'm going to recommend Vampires. That's Vampires with a Y. It was made during the brief or not so brief 1970s craze for lesbian vampire films and of all the lesbian vampire films I've seen I think I was placed it at the top. I put it above the vampire lovers probably number two. What about embrace the vampires above daughters of darkness? Emmanuel meets Dracula. Number three also about that vampire rose. Emmanuel wins. It's a most wins no shit it's a pretty weak vampire a pretty weak Dracula yeah but

yeah I like to better than those other one didn't miss the Monday make a Dracula movie or vampire movie daughters of Dracula I think oh you said that already I guess I know I guess that I guess that would be the fifth was me vampire I've seen but I was at wondering, what is that one rank? That's probably number five. It's not too bad. It's more of a soft core. More film than a vampire movie.

Still counts. To be honest. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I'd like to fund out your ranking. Like how your rank thinks. I'll tell you about that one. I said you're a shirt. I'll send you an Excel chart after the podcast.

But it feels kind of like a hammer horror film, but not as incredibly slow as many hammer horror films can be. It's from the same... They can't see hammer horror film. It's from the same period, but it was, I think, a Spanish production that was trying to, you know, borrow some of the same feel. And it has a lot of long sequences where nothing happens and it's just atmospheric, but...

Keep selling it. In general, I think it's pretty solid. I mean, if you want to see an exploitation film that has a few actual haunting images and also lesbian vampires, I recommend vampires with a Y. Sure. And now that's V-A-M-P-Y-R-E-S. Not the title isn't vampires with a Y. Sure. And now that's V-A-M-P-Y-R-E-S.

Yeah. Not the title isn't vampires with a Y. No. No, it's also not vampires at the Y. That's a completely different movie. Yeah. I'll recommend two movies. One is in the theaters right now.

And that is a movie that a lot of people have not liked, but I did, called Where Wild Things Are, that that I thought was very good, very well done. It is not a fun movie and not necessarily enjoyable to sit through at times, but it's very emotionally honest movie. It feels like, and I like the way they did a lot. But there are some like, Tweet Spike Jones touches that are kind of irritating. But overall I said, A are kind of irritating But overall I said a plus kind of okay, and the other movie is not in the theaters now and hasn't been for 70 years and that is John Ford's stage coach which I recently

Watched again so that I could edit it down to about seven minutes and watching it again I was like this is a really good movie like I'd forgotten how fun it is and it's really fantastic movie so That also is an Irishman is um I don't does stage coach most of John Ford's movies do they have Victor McLaughlin. I assume that the drunk was an Irishman Thomas Mitchell the drunk the drunk doctor. Yeah, no way. Yeah, it's probably of English stock. Okay Sure, so now we're gonna Now we sign off, buddy. You okay?

You guys don't have any wacky things to plug? I do. Yeah, what do you plug? You're not gonna plug something? Sure, plug something. Well, this isn't for like another month after recording this, but my next film screening at the 90 Second Street, why try Becca? December 2nd, which is a Wednesday at 8 p.m.

I'll be showing the miracle of Morgan's Creek, Preston's Surges is funny, funniest movie, Bar None, with special guest Christian Shaw of Flight of the Concords, to talk with me about the movie. So yeah, that's December 2nd, 8 p.m., 90 Second Street, wide tribeca, if you're in the New York area, and if you look up it up on 92YTribeca.org, I think is the website or 92YTribacad.com. I don't know why you feel like you need to like put this in the thing.

I will add a link to it on the website and it'll make a lot easier. Well, this is so people know about it. I don't know. Sure, and I'm going to plug Charlene's Bar, which is where I go to drink after recording these things. So if you want to find Stewart, that's what we're listening to. Yeah, Charlene's bar. Charlene's bar, flat bush in Brooklyn, flat bush avenue

between park and sterlings. Yeah, wow. Dan, do you want to plug like your office or something? My sketch group, being a kid, has a show and long on the city that's coming up and that we will soon have a monthly show at the magnet theater but I will put links to those on the website I will not burn up extra tape talking about those right now. tape is being recorded on a computer.

yeah but the internet isn't it? as I point out several times my computer only takes a certain amount of stuff before it breaks. that's right. you guys are pushing it right now. So I would like to sign off. My name is Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kaylin too. Good night. Bye. Elliot Kaylin too was an Elliot Kaylin as well. So I'll let the listeners puzzle that one out. I'm Stuart. I'm talking blah blah blah. I'm Dan I'm also talking.

Gloria Stewart or something. I never talk about what I'm doing. I thought you were going to do like this. I'm really a blah blah. We met apparently also at Vitamin A, C, E and the zinc. We're going to take one. Vitamin Z for Z. I'm going to take one.

I'm going to take one. I'm going to take one. I'm going to take one. I'm going to take one. I'm going I really am. I'm going to go. We met apparently also at Vitamin A, C, E, and the zinc. I'm going to take one. Vitamin Z for zinc. Come back, zinc. Come back. Come back. Come back, zinc.

Z, zinc. Z, zinc. Z. Hi, it's Dan here. If you like listening to the Flop House, why not visit us on the web at www.flophousepodcast.com where you can find show notes, videos, fan art, and links to Wikipedia synopsies of all the Flop House films so you can play along at home. If you're looking for more Flop House stuff, check out our Facebook page where you can

discuss the show with other fans, or subscribe to our Twitter feed for more Flop House stuff, check out our Facebook page where you can discuss the show with other fans, or subscribe to our Twitter feed at the Flop House Pod. Your support helps us build an audience, so if you like the show, why not vote for us at Podcast Alley, or subscribe to the show on iTunes, and while you're there, take a moment to write a review. Links for everything can be found on the web page. Lastly, we love hearing from you, so if you have thoughts, feedback or suggestions, let us know at the Flothouse Podcast at gmail.com.