The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #50 - Delgo

Episode Date: November 22, 2009

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme0:35 - 3:40 - We devote a little time to patting ourselves on the back for reaching fifty episodes.3:41 - 28:51 - We celebrate our fiftieth anniversary by discussing Delgo, the movie most likely to inspire blank stares in our audience, followed by "What the fuck's a Delgo?."  Maybe we'll get it together for our 100th.  28:51 - 29:58 - Pause for station identification29:59 - 35:55 - Final judgments 35:56 - 40:40 - Flop House Movie Mailbag, plus discussion of a wacky cross-country adventure.40:41 - 47:40 - The sad bastards recommend.  47:41 - 49:19 - Goodbyes, theme and outtakes.

For the 50th episode of The Flop House, we try a Flop House first, discussing an animated movie. In this episode, Delgo. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Welleyden. Look out over here, tell you, Kaelin. Stuart you were so taken aback by my forceful introduction. No, I was trying to remember if we watched a movie tonight. Well, before we get into that, everyone. The purpose of the fight, yes. This is our 50th episode. What? Our 50th full length episode. Oh, it's like, movie minutes, it would be like 82. Not counting

our flop house novellas. But canonical episodes, this is the 50th one. Wow. This is our golden anniversary. I wasn't there for many of those episodes, but I'm the only one who's there for all 50 of you. I feel like Dan that's a real achievement that you've reached and I think you should be proud of it. This podcast has staying power. How long has it been in terms of chronological time? About two and a half years now. That sounds right. Yeah. I was there for most of them. I mean, I'm not there, but I mean, I gave I told I lay to pick up on our presence are our presence here. Oh That's sweet. You didn't say you didn't tell me you're gonna do that Well, I gave you like $20. Yeah. Well, that's mine now. Oh, it's a Popeyes. I went you saw how much chicken I ate

It was it was pretty astounding. You wait 20 whole chickens. Part of that Popeye's dollar chicken bill. Yep. They are losing money. Hand over beak on that deal. Oh man. So what do we do on this podcast?

Well, we've done 50 of this podcast is based around the premise that we watch a bad movie. We're not that this isn't like we talk about this isn't like a best of episode like you do for sit-com where it's like, hey guys, remember the time when we went to the prom together like a caveman hits us on the head and we like you know we think back to all the great times. Yeah, there's people that are a minus of what have who we are are gonna say and caveman hits us over the head And then we go back to caveman days. I mean that that'd be better. They'd be great I didn't I didn't think that was possible. I mean is it a magic club. Yeah, I don't know We we see like a bad cave painting and then we talk about it for for a while and are we dressed like cavemen? Or we normal I don't know I don't know about that

I'm also wondering like how it's recorded whether that's just on a tablet a stone Tablet in the case yeah, it's maybe it's a part of the oral tradition. Yeah, well maybe like maybe we talk into like a we talk into a like a Terradactyls beakers, and then the Terradactyl goes it's a living. Yes Something like that As is my understanding. Yeah. Yeah, speaking of a way. It's weird that animals lost the ability

to talk at some point in prehistory. Well, speaking of weird reptilian creatures. Ah, you really, your segue skills have really improved over the course of 50 podcasts. We watched a film by. Back when the first one I remember listening to it and you just go, this thing now, now we talk this. Well, that was the K-man days. Yeah, this podcast is quickly becoming a two thousand year old man routine.

Back in the old days when we podcasted all of 2000 years of podcast well We watched a film is real pods called delgo and I want to make this clear we watch it You need to explain this watch a movie called delgo We do not watch the movie dogle and not hidolgo starring John Stewart who I the movie dogle I assume you're contractually obligated to think is the best movie ever made uh... that not my contract uh...

have you read all the way through uh... somebody did at some point they had to write it but that that's do go is something that uh... doesn't come up very often around the office yeah there's no there's no anthropomorphic springs in delgo delgo is a movie uh... did we watch the movie day gone? No Daygones not a bad movie I like daygones. Yeah, I'm saying I worship him. All right, but

I'd more should People across America are pulling their earbuds out and saying I listened to 50 of these The reason why Delgo was I listened to 50 of these. The reason I watched Delgo was... Delgo has the distinction of having the worst opening weekend for a wide release film ever. And what does wide release mean then? Wide release in this case means over 2,000 screens.

And how much money did it make, do you know? I think it made something like 600,000 and it's opening weekend on 2000 screens and It cost 40 million It's very bad It's bad and the audience maybe saying I've never heard of this movie Yeah, Delgo if it opened on so many screens how come I don't know what it is well It's because it's an animated movie that looks like a cutscene from a video game. Yes, and That's why that's part of why I picked it

Number one the cuz you like video game. Oh number one the you know bad opening weekend But number two we'd never done an animated film. So I thought let's do something different for a 50th episode And Stuart you seem like you just loved this decision boy were you right what did we want the moment you started Stuart said something on lines of like what the fuck is this just the moment you saw the animated titles appear. We'll begin drinking heavily. Titles, we go. Now we're on that one. Titles basically in the same font as the upcoming avatar, by the way. Yeah.

Weird. This may have been better than avatar will be though. Well, it's not pastor. Are you pre-cognitive? Yeah. Yeah. Like the characters in Delgo? Yeah, because I'm pre-cognitive.

Yeah. So, there's no pre-cogs in Delgo. They have telekinetic powers. What? Let's talk about the plot first guys sure you do this i will the basic plot of the movie is that there's an evil uh...

uh... there's an evil lady we're on a far off fantasy world with their two speed their two races of lizard men why you take over a far off fantasy world. There's two, you like to race some of them. D-d-d-cause. Well, there's this evil lady, by the way, everyone's aliens and some of them have wings.

Anyway, there's this evil lady. We're on a far off planet with a race, two different races of green lizard monkey humanoids. One race has wings, the other race does not, but has some sort of telekinetic abilities with rocks. The wing ones, their land is polluted or some shit, and they are invited to join the non-winged ones, but then the evil lady leads the winged army on a devastating crusade of destruction and now there's a sort of uneasy truce between the two sides they hate each other

but they have to co-exist after you know the unpleasantness is over and the evil lady got her wings chopped off and got banished yet she tried to kill the royal family of the winged ones and uh... got with her wings chopped off and was banished to somewhere. Flash forward 15 years. There's a young princess with wings. There's a young princess with wings.

There's Delgo Arhiro who does not have wings and the evil lady wants to come back and she tries to take over and Delgo and the princess and Delgo's sidekick, Chris Catan, and a noble knight played by Valkyel Mur. Chris Catan? Yeah, they have to save the day. That's pretty much all you need to know. Yeah, the evil lady does this by- Oh, the evil lady voice.

The fermenting distrust between the races. She creates a new race war so she can swoop in and- Played by Anne Bancroft by the way in what I believe had to have been her last role in best role you'll notice yeah and best and the credits end with Anne Anne Bancroft 1923 to 1909 to 2005. I think I was peeing at that point so this is is... You're a furiously mass reading the bathroom. To the idea of no-sliced lizard people. Well, he needs to get it out before the party gets to the idea of the evil character,

Sisparella, whatever her name was, to her... Suiciting sass, but I was like, oh, desa? Oh, sedesas, I think, Spadesa, to her strangely detailed re-wren. Yeah, they really fetishized her ass in this. to her strangely detailed rear end. Yeah, they really fetishized her ass in this. Like, it's used in skin tight pants. I hesitated before pants because they all wear absurd clothes in this movie. But like, it really didn't, it looked like they had just animated an ass

and then painted that red in Mac paint or something. I think the animators are probably uninterested in looking at a weird monkey face. Yeah, so they decided to focus on making her last look. And now we should mention. I just say about the plot, though, Elliot. Listeners will note that your description was very detailed for a while, and then it became very simple.

And that's because this movie has an extremely simple plot but then it has like this ten-minute prologue that is unnecessarily complex this very complicated back story yeah it's all the politics is that it's like the roles of the beginning of star wars but acted out and that but it then it's your basic like your princess and i'm a regular guy were from two different worlds uh... there's an adventure now we've got a escape from the bad guys and get back there and solve the misunderstood it was it was Romeo Juliet with flying whales and a happy ending a lot of scenes stolen from other movies

yeah but we should mention that this was an all-star cast like the boy the list is a who's who of actors who need work you got ready print's new year is the hero delgo the titular role it the titular is this funny christ katana's his friend phyllo who is irritating the term print is loosely uh... general of you as the princess and bankrupt as cest parilla

sure sally calmer in the beginning to the area area now come back down as the evil general Wirt who is an agent of and bankrupt You've got Michael Clark Duncan as the philosophical mentor Freddie Prince Jr I'll be one can over us or whatever his name is Bogartus Bogartus and the column Bogey at one point and then who was the I forgot who played the king

the column bogey at one point and then who was the I forgot who played the king um king and Eric idle is the like goofy henchman of the villain yeah is he ever oh and Kelly Ripo was in there somewhere I don't know what character she played yeah we just saw her in the credits who is the king that was somebody well known too good stuff yeah remember now yeah we'll guys go to the go to the Delgo website. Go to Delgo the movie dot the Delgo movie dot com. We're just now a golden palace site. They bought it for five dollars and haven't redirected golden palace. You mean the the golden girls spin off? We're all of them except Dorothy own hotel. Yes, that's what I mean. The

still living golden ring girls. We're like, we're not getting enough attention these days. We got a piggy back off of something really popular. But we only have $5 just then. Let's buy this defunct movie site. And that was a more entertaining plot than the movie The Delgo. So yeah, we got done talking about the plot.

Oh, it is bad production of this movie do you think they had to make that hard decision let's make a video game or let's make a movie and what do you think was the the defining factor that's a good question I wish the makers of delgo here so that we can punch them in the nuts and then ask them that question we're like a we're like talking monkey where you have to strike them in the nuts no that was just out of our irritation and haven't watched this film. I wish they were here so we could write our question on the edge of a knife blade and slide it gently

into their gut. Wow, wow. Much harder. What's poetry other than the mouth? Oh the Bard speaks to me. This movie angered me more than a lot. I mean, you're putting a lot of work into a movie if you're making a computer animated film. Well, it's one thing to make the chaos experiment was a shitty movie, but they probably shot it over like a weekend. I mean, this is not a great computer animation, but it's a step up from, I don't know, like, it's basically like Shrek, right? It's a step, well, yeah, it's around Shrek level. It's a step up from, it's not as bad as Duel

in terms of animation quality. Or the Vegetales movie. Or the Veget, or the Pirates who don't do anything, yeah. But it's not, of course, it's nowhere near, like, Pixar quality, but. Yeah, but the animation. It's better than, like, what was it near like Pixar quality, but... Yeah, but the animation... It's better than like, what was it happily never after, whatever that? Yeah, certainly.

Well, the animation is not that great and the character design for all of the main characters is ugly. As I said during the movie, like the best thing to do when you want someone to like your characters is to give them like just regular human proportions and then make their faces the weird monkey faces like you said Stuart. Sure. You know like if you're gonna do that you have to like exaggerate some of the cartoon characteristics or else it's just gonna be creepy.

You know like their hands are their jugs. Right? You know what I'm talking about guys. Those are the two acceptable things for cartoon I mean yeah I realized now that I'm gonna make nose so that the audience classic warm so that the audience understands you mean races so that the audience understands kind of what these characters look like without having to look it up it's like if the Lewis Goss of junior character from enemy mind like it's this story about his home planet

I'm glad you touched on something that everybody's Yeah, well, but I'm sure these people at HBO and they were a little more Sure, and the flying creatures have a skin modeling similar to the aliens and the alien nations here Yeah, their design is somewhat like that in Wayne Barlow's book expedition. Or imagine a marginally less evil Lord Voldemort from the... Yeah, well they look kind of like the dinosaurs in the Hit Disney film dinosaur. Yeah, you're right they do. Yeah.

Oh man. Or like if they didn't have the weird head crests, I mean they look like the sea monkeys kind of from the sea monkeys package Except the same ones have weird like a little bit. Yeah But for a movie that had to have been a certain amount of work I mean and there was no thought put into the art direction like nothing seemed to match with anything else Like not even like colors. There weren't like okay This scene is gonna be shot in this certain pallet of colors. No. It was just a bunch of clashing bright brightness and

scenes would just go on yeah like they did not spend any time on a script for a movie that they weren't then going to be able to re-edit or you know change on the fly. I mean if they didn't worry. I mean if Pixar movies have taught us anything, you don't need a good script to have a great animated movie. You need a bunch of explosions, killer robots, shit like that. Why didn't they have that stuff? Well they had some stuff like that. Well I got to say, I have to believe this might be the room type scenario where the film was actually a money laundering operation and it did not cost $40 million. I mean, the one level on which I kind of liked Delgo is it shows that it's complete bullshit

the idea that everyone just loves computer animation these days and any computer animated film will make millions and millions of dollars. Like, it shows that no, no, you have to have a good good story. Well, I mean, that's what, that's what, like 2D animation died is that like Disney was all the sudden like, oh, I guess that people only want to see this computer animation. They weren't like, oh, Pixar isn't making excellent films. Well, that, yeah, they were, no one wants to see home on the range.

So I guess 2D animation is dead. Because a cow movie starting Judy Dench and Lindsay Dratch, that should be a winner, but it's in 2D animation Sorry Rachel Dratch Lindsey Dratch is a boy with a high school with Hello Lindsey so he wasn't in that movies. No, she wasn't Rachel Dratch was like the Lindsey Dratch wasn't no Well, it's not but why did he bring her up? I got the names mixed up because they have the same last name Holy shit that that makes sense. Listen, it's late and we just watched Delgo.

My brain is all scrambled. But basically the idea that, yeah, the only reason we can understand why kids don't want to see this movie is because it's from our pen and ink department. So let's shut it down. Yeah. Because Judy Densch, Rosem and Rachel Dratch

should have pulled them in. Are you saying, wait, Lindsay Dratch? No, Rachel Dratch. Lindsay Dratch was have pulled them in. Are you saying, wait, Lindsey Dratch? No, Rachel Dratch. Lindsey Dratch was a mistake with a name pulled out of my past. OK. So kids didn't flock to see this for some reason. Now, I looked it up on Wikipedia. It was basically as if two people went to every show.

Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Two people and maybe a couple of tumbleweeds. The tumbleweeds get in for senior prices though, so it's not a lot of money. That's good because they're all dried up, is that? Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay.

Like old people. Sure. So those two people went to see every show you're saying, so you've got two hardcore fans right there. Two Delgo fans. You can build a cult out of that. Yeah, now they're Delgo cosplayers. I'm betting they go themselves Delguits. They go to Delcon every year. You know, Delgo. Delgo in Delgo cosplay is the dude dressed up as a lizard monkey face and the

other person dresses up like as a fairy monkey face. Of course. Come on. You have to ask that question. I don't know. I was just, I didn't know if they do like a gender role. They're just flutter their wings over each other's genitals. Okay, they don't just grab it and yank. All right. Then I'll just pull it right off. Like in Castle Freak. This was not a very good film.

Yeah, uh, Chris Kitan. Chris Kitan is the worst thing about it. It's a, the movie is mostly generic more than anything else, but Chris Katan is the worst thing in it. Wait a minute. That's a pretty big accusation that Chris Katan is literally the worst thing about this movie. Come on, can you come up with something worse than watching Chris Katan's character just going, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what but that was but I and this is a fucking wild west that be a fucking hanging offense to like to be the worst thing in tell yeah and then they would have hung up and everyone said well justice was served this time I guess Roy being should should be you know practicing the law

a little bit longer sure Chris Katan's one like character that was like was dithering because we were introduced to him he's trying to help out his friend Delgo who has gone over the cliff during a Stampede scene. They're out hot dogging around. Yeah, great to stampede And so like surfing on them To impress Padme. Yeah, well, he does surf on one. Yeah, yeah So Chris Katan is like shooting off of fire to try and get help but he accidentally shoots it into a tree and i was like why is that tree on fire and christian's reaction

fire what fire uh... i don't uh... i don't know if i was there for all that fire all well that uh... that goes and every single time he has a line reading it goes on like that it's like that that scene three more people then ask why is that tree on fire? We're after the other. Yeah. If you've seen like really, really cheap, uh, anime that's been, um, you know, brought into the US, it's the same sort of like,

uh, uh, I don't know, um, but, but, but it's very unnerving. What's that? I don't know. Is that a, huh? And a movie made for English speaking audiences but it's very unnerving. What's that over there? I don't know, is that a? And a movie made for English speaking audiences, it seems very strange. There's something about, he's just so irritating. And the character almost never does anything worthwhile. You don't know why they're friends. He's just there because the hero needs a goofy sidekick.

But he's so incompetent and he's so stupid and the audience has to hate him. Spoiler alert, it's only because of his slingshot shot that the main character Deldo and his girlfriend totally survived at the end. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's why we hate him even more. Yeah. Oh, right.

I was actively rooting for Delgo to die by the end of the day. There were a number of points but we were like, oh great, okay, Dahlue goes dead then. So, Cesspira wins. Yeah, our favorite character, the weird evil mad scientist guy. I wish it murdered him. Totally kept losing. This is a character with zero lines, who is like the villain. She's the main villains like Sign, like there's always like the side just tension. It's like if you made one of the weird creatures from Labyrinth that can pull off their body parts, make one of those into a man's scientist and have like blowing eyes. Yeah, that's what that guy's like.

He seems genuinely dangerous at times. Yeah, and that kind of turned me on. Yeah, it was kind of like, I mean, his, his demeanor was kind of like, uh, was it crazy Harry's that the Muppets that's always blowing things up? I guess so. Or that one, uh, the Roger Rabbit, the weasel that is in the Stray Jacket. Yeah. And it carries a razor blade around. Oh, all, all much better entertainments than Delgo. Yes. And luckily Delgo tied into that by having scenes that were directly, I don't like direct homages to films that...

Well describe one of these for us. Perhaps the scene where they're in the big hanging jail cell. Oh no, no, no, surely no one had ever done that in a movie before. I don't know, I swear I saw that in a movie. Maybe it was Kung Fu Panda. Maybe it was a movie about bandits who traveled through time. Oh yeah, that's right, Chrono Steelers. Thanks for being coy guys, but I think you're talking about the movie Time Band.

That's right. The Terry Gilliam Classic Time Band. Enough fucking around. Yeah, they're trying to say, the movie we watched in my delgo. Stole from Time Band. Stole from Time Band. Yeah, they're trying to say is the movie watch my delgo stole from time I'm yeah, they're all literally in like the Jones hanging cages like that look like bird cages at the end of time And it's an else wing from so they stole it from the movie the bird cage also Yep, they stole the irritating this from movie the bird cage K. Joe falls

Yes, you say to Opholus? Cod Jocs Folas. Okay. They lifted some stuff from Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings, right? Lesker Say. Romeo and Juliet, Tromeo and Juliet. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, they stole the giving birth to a rat and what is it popcorn scene? From Tromeo and Juliet. They stole the lesbian nurse from Tromeo and Julia. Oh man. Guys, let's watch Tromeo and Julia. It stole all these all these scenes from the 120 days of Sodom. Wait, wait, is that the one with the night porter? The night porter? Polarista or Rocky was it ready? I think you're thinking of that Catherine, Raleigh film, um, something like... Ah, no reservations?

Oh, Cat's hell, Cat and Zeta Jones. Yes. Raising Helen? Mm-hmm. Sure. All about Steve. Anyway. Dan in real life?

So, with Donald Lowe? The movie that made Donald Lowe the star. Yeah. Guys, who was your favorite uh lizard person? Uh wait, I'm gonna favorite fucking lizard. Can I pick one from not this movie? Because I'm gonna say Dr. Kurt Connors, the Spider-Man villain the lizard. Sure, that makes sense. Um, our sleastax. Uh, Actually, I'm gonna say if anyone remembers the top card series dinosaur attack, dinosaurs attack, which was the idea was it was like Mars attacks but with dinosaurs. There's a scene where the scientist in it has a kind of dream vision of a dinosaur that has evolved

into humanoid form and helps him solve the problem of how to stop these dinosaurs. That's my favorite lizard person. Okay. I think mine would be like the main evil alien from the original V, not the remote. The one, you know, like she unhinges her jaw to eat that gerbil. Yeah. Can I just say Velossa raptors? Sure. Because they're the kind of people. They have no pertinote. They have no person aspects to them what's not like a person I guess so they are clever girls yeah yeah so god I don't even know what to talk about with this movie after some well let's say Delgo huh well the music was bad everything in it was bad

and the the princess looked like she was wearing a purple like workout outfit the whole time yeah that's pretty cool did we say Malcolm McDowell was in this? Yes. He's in it. He's a bad guy with the top not. I would say that Malcolm McDowell had fallen on a hard times in his career, but he was in a Shannon Tweed film. I know it was a Shannon Worry film. I'm sorry. I say a Shannon Tweed. That's moving up. No, he was in a Shannon Worry film. So. Yeah. I guess there's also the fact that the lizard folks seem to have some sort of rock based society

yeah all the telekin as it tell telkenes is seem to focus around these red rocks so i guess it was some sort of yeah that's all pretty boring and i'm paying attention to it my mind i think you drop some knowledge on the ground they they chose Michael Clark Duncan to be the one to give the philosophical morals of the film. Good choice. Yeah.

Yeah, you think so? Not really. And Delgo, huh? Yeah. At the end, everyone learned a lesson. And then it was amazing that working together at the last minute to save each other from this evil army, the winged guys and the non-winged guys are suddenly breaks down every barrier in their society because they go from hating each other to, I guess, being okay with a

winged person and a non-winged person kissing each other at the end. Yeah, well, I mean, even on a bigger level, like I didn't understand, like Delgo's big scheme at the end was, okay, if I start a stampede, like we saw at the beginning of the movie for Shadowing. Good screenwriting. That will bring- That will bring the goldsman level screenwriting. That will bring the warning factions together because now they have to turn against a third party, which is the Stanford, which we do those they had already been kind of fighting against the third party already because the villains army Had run into the battle right where the two sides were fighting. Yeah, I don't understand

They decided that they should fight the big monster faces and so they're monkey. Yeah, they look like Gamorin guards Yeah, from a return of Jedi, but that that being said quite as obese. Yeah, they look like Gamoran guards from Return of Jedi. But that being said, that's not quite as obese. Yeah, they're better shape. If two armies were fighting each other and a bunch of cows ran through, like would that all of a sudden mean that was over?

It's over. You know, it's the rule of the battle. Yeah, it goes back hundreds of years. Yeah, okay. Now that's how the Korean War ended. The thing about the interracial kiss is I don't know if you got the subtext to LA it from earlier on the film, but no Kissing in this society is kind of like giving high five. It's not like a precursor to

I don't think that was in any way part of the film. Yeah, I think they talked about it I don't think that was ever mentioned. Yeah, I yeah it was it was in it it was right before the scene where they're riding on the romtoes they did we did get to see a fake made-up gambling game kind of like poker but instead of cards it involves triangles yeah like something out of a pirate's of the Caribbean movie yeah it's called triominos. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, you're sick with that one.

Yep. Stuart is having none of it tonight. Hi, it's Dan here. If you like listening to the Flop House, why not visit us on the web at www.flophousepodcast.com where you can find show notes, videos, fan art, and links to Wikipedia synopsies of all the Flop House films so you can play along at home. If you're looking for more Flop House stuff, check out our Facebook page where you can discuss the show with other fans, or subscribe to our Twitter feed at the FlophousePod.

Your support helps us build an audience, so if you like the show, why not vote for us at Podcast Alley, or subscribe to the show on iTunes, and while you're there, take a moment to write a review. Links for everything can be found on the webpage. Lastly, we love hearing from you, so if you have thoughts, feedback, or suggestions, let us know at the Flothouse Podcast at Gmail.com. Now back to the show. I think that we should move on to our final judgments on this.

Sure, this is going to be a big surprise. The categories are as follows. Is this a good bad movie? A bad bad movie. A movie that you actually kind of liked. Do you have the no anniversary themed choices? Is this the fake bottle of peanut brittle anniversary? That's in the middle somewhere. Wait, fake, is it like spring snakes come out? Yes, it's not a bottle. I guess it's a harmless laugh. Or is this the turd anniversary? Okay, like a normal tur or like a messy turn?

I don't think it matters to you. Is it more of a summary or someone tried to give you a fecal matter for an anniversary? I think that would be pretty bad. We're not like a manure form. Not like something you could burn, just like a fire. Let's just give our, we're spread on the cross.

Final judgment, shall we? Okay, who goes first? I think that you seem to be raring That dog well Yeah, this this movie is abysmal. There's really nothing good about it And it hurt my eyes to watch it. I'd say it looked like a video game cutscene But I I mean I haven't seen a video game cutscene of this quality since like the Sega CD so yeah no two thumbs down

vegetales all over the place sure there is a Christian message as well well no I'm giving thumbs down the vegetales message oh I see I'm trying to make as many enemies as possible tonight, between the creators of Delgo and anybody who supports the digital tales for an hour. Yeah, I would almost recommend someone see this just because like it is an experience. It is totally different. Not that experience. It's totally different than anything else that we've watched and it is insane. That's like saying, it changed my life when I was attacked by that shark and my legs were torn off. I wish people, but I mean I was sexually assaulted by that shark. Yeah, I got some clarity though. I don't want to get assaulted.

I just think you're like, it's just like, we'll be worse than a shark. It's a hack. You know, I assume that's it. It's like Jabber John molesting you. Is that what you're saying? Hey, come on. No one's around. This is our little secret. You had that prepared. Yes, the first time I thought about Jabber John molesting somebody.

Come on. He's got 40 minutes of Jabber John material. So let me get this straight literally half of that is most yeah the rest is almost got a lot of starch which one's the rest is a drumming technique based that it must be hard to drum underwater i mean think of all the drag

uh... now i just it's just such a strange experience to watch this movie but it is terrible and it made me angry in a way that these movies often do not, because, like I said before, it's an animated film. Like there was a lot of work put into this compared to just animated. No, it was animated. Yeah, but I mean, it wasn't very lively. No, I guess in that dictionary. You're welcome, Gus. animated yeah, but I mean it was a very lively No, I guess in that dictionary you're welcome guys

Victorian eras Stewart suddenly set in Gay people they don't seem too happy to me all right bad bad movie to sum up I'm also gonna give it a bad man. It does feel like watching it does remind you that there are many movies that a lot of people put a lot of hard work into that never get seen because they're not good or for various reasons. And just like, yeah, it is, and just the fact that you're imagining, just the fact that you're imagining Eric Eidl and Anne Bancroft and so forth, just in a voiceover booth with this script in front of them, you know, it's kind of you know, it's a weird thing. Like hit the chilies afterwards like the local chilies together afterwards. Yeah, because I'm sure they all recorded their lines at the same time. I mean, I don't know that much about Hollywood, did you know that to be a dick about it. I don't know like you and me. They go to Applebee's on a Saturday night.

This is what, like when you were a kid and you watched movies and there were famous actors who were kind of slumming in those movies, a lot of times you couldn't tell how little effort they were putting into their performances. Like Dolph Lungren in Masters of the Universe? Yeah, exactly. Or Franklin Jell-Man. Actually Franklin Jell-Man puts a lot of work in Masters of the Universe. Or a, oh man, Martin of work in masters or a man

Martin Sheen in spawn. Yeah exactly. Yeah, exactly. The worst big name performance that I've seen and when you're really young You don't notice but I think even a kid watching this would be like come on guys Where's the verb like you're not really putting a lot of umph into these line readings? Eric idols performance was a couple notches below his performance as Rincewin in the Disc World PC video game from years ago. Wow. That's my favorite. That's a very fratchet fans out there. All right, let's put a bow on Delgo. Let's put a bullet in this one. And never have to talk about it again. Move on. I will say that it's Dalga. Let's make a pact never to talk about it. Dalga backwards is ogled. So that's all you need to know.

It's not true. Yes, it is. It's how you spell the word. Wait. D-E-L-G-O-O-G-L-E-D. Arglet? OK, don't make dang finger on it. OK, I need the thing you're going to read.

Okay, I have a letter. It's only five letters. Okay, you have a letter. Look, I have a sleep disorder. I can't focus. You're right, yeah. That's the apnea talking. So, guys, I have a letter from a listener.

This is from Matt last name withheld, and it says, Hey, floppers it sounds a lot like double impact But the Natasha henstreds movie that Elliot was thinking about was maximum risk Max-mom risk oh Yeah, this is very helpful because we are in fact too lazy to just go to IMDB after these shows So as much as you guys can. It's like an ice cream place. Yeah, the country's best movies.

But that was what you will not get on the flab house. Yeah, also he says, I was planning on entering the contest, but I refused to fly. Now I could have driven to New York, but that's too much trouble. Instead I propose you guys come to one of the flyover states, parentheses, Minnesota, and do a flop house on the road. I have some kick-ass custom speakers and 40-inch widescreen HDTV, and since I don't live in a New York brownstone, we don't have to worry about upsetting the neighbors with our overly loud destruction sequences, like in knowing.

Plus, there's a Popeyes in Minnesota so pay for all the Popeyes you can eat. I hope there's a Popeyes in Minnesota. It's a state. That would be sad. He finishes it with, come on over. I dare you. Whoa.

Oh man, that's like when a girl acts assing. Yeah. He knows she wants it. Well, he knows her. She wants you to rise to the challenge. Yeah. Excessing yeah, he knows he wants it. Yeah, well, he knows he wants you to rise to the challenge Yeah, he knows our weakness much like Martin McFly and back to future two and three But not in one is being dared and that we literally cannot pass up a dare ever that's true Well, he also mentioned that there's Popeyes for Elliott. I love that he's in Minnesota

So he probably has some kind of a cardboard standup of a girl in a bikini for me Yeah, and beer for you and beer of Minnesota and then there's probably oh, there's a nice TV for you. I can I can enjoy Minnesota's thriving art scene while we're there Yeah, that's it. I was in Minnesota last year and I did not get to experience the place the way I would have liked So maybe we should go I've lived in Minneapolis for a while. We should rent like yeah Let's rent scooters and drive To minibikes What's what's right?

Yeah, but first of all, let's rent a motorcycle with two side cars, and that's how we Wow, that's is the greatest thing I've ever heard of Wow, that is the greatest thing I've ever heard of I hope that the two side cars detach and wings come out like the mask action figures What what your mask look like oh, I don't know why don't be some kind of animal totem like a like an eagle I think mine would be a mask. I think I was just gonna say it looks like you're taking Ernie Hudson and Ghostfutters That's my mask right there Winston Z Zed more you might know him as. But I think someday maybe someday we'll make this trip come true. How about that? Yeah. And to answer your question, I'll let you

yes, I lived in Minneapolis for a while. I didn't know that. That we're good. That was good. What did you do there? I was a temp. I didn't do anything. I went there after college, because I had a friend real look there. And we roamed there together. After college, I went to the big city, Minneapolis. But then I got engaged, and I wanted to be closer to my wife.

My source of food. That's what was on me. That's the way a caveman would look at it. That's what was on the t- the way a caveman would look at it. It's what was on the t-shirt I gave her on our first anniversary. That's the light. That is the novelty t-shirt anniversary Wait a novelty It's formal attire. Yeah exactly. Well, thank you very much for inviting us into your home Matt last name withheld.

So now we should move on to recommendation. So just to clarify, that isn't a complete turn down of his suggestion. No, we have to consider logistic. Well, yeah. We all have jobs. We don't have, we're of busy schedules. We can't just drop everything and fly to Minnesota

or take a motorcycle with two side cars, as awesome as that would be. I mean, I could probably do it. I mean, I could blow off the next week, which is Thanksgiving and wedding planning with my fiance and her family to go to Minnesota to meet a guy I've never met and watch a movie with him. Just tell your sicker something The way it works with our relationship is I tell her I'm sick and then disappear for a couple Yeah, it's like a Ferris Bueller type thing where you have a dummy in the bed

I think that's a punty shirt quality decision. Yeah, yeah Yeah movies that you like that's what we're on do I do that like movies like movies you're you've forgotten my life is a hell of Delgo a film Jesus yeah, what have you seen lately like well I actually haven't seen that much well what kind of porn have you been watching? kind of porn of even watching. Um, primarily. You don't want to start talking about that. Oh, you're right. Why are you like, you're afraid that I have some sort of deep direct secretive

aren't you? Yes. Okay. Well, I don't. Oh, really? You're pretty straightforward in regards to that. Mm-hmm. It's quite a lot of, a lot of missionary, maybe between the lake. Missionary classics. That's what It's the name of the TVT. I read it. They're actually pretending to be missionaries And you read it repeatedly from the same video store. Sure. Yeah, he should have just purchased it by this point

You think he's spent like $40. Well, I like to support brick and mortar stores Yeah, otherwise pornography is going to disappear from the rental. You're also concerned that if you own missionary classics, you might either A. Damage of the DVD by repeated viewings or masturbate yourself to death. Yeah. You like to make it more like a special occasion when you put on some cables. Oh, like what, like, like it's a wonderful life on television, you know? Sure, totally.

Anyway. It means more once a year. The best I can come up with actually. Some candles. I saw a serious man. We were talking about it just before the podcast. I enjoyed it quite a lot. I don't think it needs my support.

It has a lot of critical support behind it. But Elliot was wondering whether it played to a non-Jewish audience and I think- Well, not whether it played, but what the experience of watching it is like. You know, it's like watching any movie about, you know, an experience which is not exactly your own, but I mean it's- Impossible. Yeah, well, that's why we, I picked Delgo picked Delgo because by the only movies I've

ever seen our ghost world and Lucas. I noticed your big pixie wings. Yeah I'm like huh, I would appreciate Delgo. He's a lizard monkey. But I don't really have much to say about a serious man actually though other than I feel like it's a very personal Coen Brothers movie which I would I enjoy much more than say no country for old men which I did enjoy but It feels like it feels like this is one that really comes from inside them as opposed to yeah outside of them yeah exactly Okay, who's next? Do you like me to go next? Sure.

Because the movie I'm going to make name is not... Okay, I'll go next. Okay, there you go. In the spirit of animated movies, I've been rack-in-my-brain to think of this stupidest movie I've ever seen. And the stupidest animated movie I've seen, which I like a lot. This is one that you're recommending. Yeah, I'm going to recommend it because it's crazy is I watched this crazy fan subtitled version of

this Japanese anime movie called JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. It's you know put together by the same dude who made the fists of the North Star thing you know where the guy punches people and they explode like 10 minutes later. Well, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure involves a bunch of superhuman dudes who all have a magical power that's based loosely on the major arcana of the tarot, and it's really awesome, and one of the bad guys name is Vanilla Ice. But he's not actually Vanilla ice and then he's not actually vanilla ice he's not he's not the popular actor you know primarily is an actor he was in the movie and at a

brief role in terms in Ninja Turtles 2 Secret of the Us as himself so it's a hardest role to play as I just say just a just made it to the secret of the use, which would be a pretty interesting movie. So you have vanilla ice is one of the bad guys and then of course, the principal bad guy who's magical powers based on the world, which allows him to stop time and punch people on half is, is of course the, is of course the ancient I think my and vampire Dio uh... James do I wish it was Ronnie James do it's just another bad guy named Dio so

uh... if you want to watch something totally crazy uh... watch jojo's bizarre adventure uh... if you want to watch something that one was for all those otaku's out there by the way oh tacos yeah otaku no but there, by the way. Wow. Oh, tacos, yeah. Oh, tacos. No. But, oh, I can just go.

I love tacos. You might call me a taco otaku. For a movie that's not crazy all over entirely, but does have a certain amount of crazy to it. A movie I started recently that actually, I liked a lot, There's a silent film from the days before talkies called The Penalty, starring Lon Cheney Sr., where he is a guy who as a child he had, who was an accident, and an inexperienced doctor amputated both of

his legs from the knee down, and this has driven him crazy. And he is now a crime boss, as an adult he's now a crime boss named Blizzard, who has a very elaborate plan, elaborate plan to get revenge on the now-older doctor who did this to him. And it's the movie where Lon Cheney, it's, if people know it, it's because it's the movie where Lon Cheney devised a harness for himself

that basically strapped his legs back against themselves so that he had to walk around on his knees and it was incredibly painful. But he does such a good job of putting across this guy who moves very fluidly on his stumps and climbs around with his arms and is super evil. And it gets, it resolves itself in a very crazy, unbelievable way. Like basketball case? Not quite as crazy as basketball case. But it's a movie where this guy is a crime boss who has

his goal is to basically bring in an army of foreign immigrants to loot the entire city of San Francisco that he's located in. But it was really good. The version I saw was on turn to classic movies. And I think that's the version available on DVD, which had a pretty neat kind of modern-ish soundtrack with a lot of, it almost sounded like, not exactly synthesizer sounds, but not, it was not like some soundtracks for sound movies where they're trying to replicate the original experience, so it's like a tinny piano playing the same thing over and over again.

But the soundtrack actually added a lot of nice elements to it. Well it's hip hop stuff, or? Yeah, there's a lot of hip hop, a lot of like daft punk techno type stuff. Sounds pretty cool. Yeah, a lot of trip hop. Oh wow, I don't even know what that is. At one point, a lunch any crunks and not really. What?

What he doesn't have legs. Alright, so guys, that wraps up this 50th show. Well, we had a lot of laughs. Yeah, I, sure. And a lot of tears. I look forward to keeping doing more until 50 more. No, he's keeping more. I look forward to doing more until such time as we decide we have better things to do.

More world. I think the flight is at least 50 right? Yeah. yeah, we've done at least 50 yeah, but 50 more We got to take it down I'm not that much going on like all right. We'll see okay. I was taking one day Stuart's mustache recently died and since then he's been looking for things to fill the time I had to bury a little bit of hole in his upper lip anyway I buried it Potter's field. Oh, that's horrible.

A pezzabatter's burial. In an unmarked grave. On that absurd image, I'd like to sign off, saying that I was Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I will always be Elie Kaelin yay forever and ever Without beginning or end for all eternity. Oh, man. I'll be disan Check check check check dance favorite thing Audio check damn loves this part. Jam-jam on the ones. Jam. The lips, the teeth, the teeth, the tongue.

Alright guys. Did we watch a movie? What? What's going on?