The Flop House - The Flop House_ Episode #56 - Whiteout

Episode Date: March 6, 2010

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:31 - 5:00 - We reintroduce guest co-host Amanda Melson, and spend nearly five full minutes reminiscing about the New York comedy scene in a way that's almost completely alienating to outsiders. 5:01 - 39:12 - You know your movie's in trouble when even an ice ax-wielding killer and Kate Beckinsale in her underwear can't generate any excitement39:13 - 43:10 - Final judgments43:11 - 48:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag48:01 - 53:48 - The sad bastards recommend.53:49 - 54:52 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode we discuss White Out, the film invented by Mike Nezmitz's mother. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Elliot Kaylen in the number two seat this time. And I'm Amanda Melson, special guest announcing myself. Wow. Amanda, welcome back. Thank you. You were here once before when Stewart was here. That's true.

And now you're back when Elliot's here. Elliot who's much more of a gentleman than Stewart. That's true. I don't know if I say that. I'm a gentleman, but he's a ladies man. So he has a way of charm about him, whereas I really have a base level of politeness. Yep.

I'm glad that that's the only thing you base the way you treat me on. It's just your level, how you treat all women also applies to me. With a professional courtesy. Thank you. It's the way I treat you. The way I treat my fiance, the way I treat you, the way I treat my fiance, the way I treat my mother. Despite the fact that you actually have an own Amanda

for quite some time, unlike Stewart, who was just meeting Amanda when we did a podcast together. We've all known each other for a while. That's true. Guys, let's not talk about a movie. Let's just reminisce about Sarah Shafer's obsessed with you. Good old time. Days of Juve Hall theater. That's reminisce about Sarah Shafer's obsessed with you. Good old time. Days of Juve Hall theater.

That's reminisce about it. Failed New York alternative comedy theater. It only failed because it didn't make money, Dan. Yeah, it's not a failure. Created was a hit. Except with the audiences. Well, on those standards, it's just successful as any alternative New York comedy theater ever.

There you go. Like even the successful New York comedy theater ever. There you go. Even the successful New York comedy theaters lose money on their actual shows. The only way that they make any money is by charging people to learn how to do comedy. Yeah. We should have done that. Yeah. And those people become a source of free labor too. If any people had come to see any shows at that theater, we could have enticed them

into learning how we did it. Yeah, taught them lessons in comedy stuff. Yeah, the first lesson we would teach them would be taking their money. Here's your money. Say goodbye to it. Come back next week. That's good. With more money. That's going to be the next 10 to 20 years of your comedy here

Anyway, really 20 years well, I'm you're saying the average comedian works for 20 years without making a profit Profit yes probably I'm just hope I mean, you know, I've been at it for eight So I'm just giving myself a while and the money's going to come in Yep, by the time you're in your mid fifties, you should be making upwards of twenty six thousand dollars a year That's when you get your pension your comedy pension. That's true. Once that kicks in you're sitting pretty Mm-hmm. I've been paying in every year. So to who? Some guy Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah.

The voice of the shoe dini. Have you seen? OK. I know he's the voice of the Aflake duck. No more. I don't. He may not be. Oh, well, I know he's the voice of Yago in the lab.

Well, that will be forever. Yeah. They can't change that. But I saw an ad for the shoe dini, which is a device that old people use, but their shoes on. I've assumed it's some sort of wish granting shoe. No, it's like a stick with like a little a pincher at the end of it so that you can just pinch the back of your shoe and slip it onto your foot without bending over.

So, basically, it's like a version of those things that have like plastic sharks and like other creatures. And dinosaur heads on it. Yes. Or robot arms. Yes. But it's like, Dio, Dio, how put it on your shoes? So, I was like, you know what Godfrey does in a production of my family.

That was my best Godfrey there's an introduction of my family. That was my best Godfrey. Yeah. And it's named after Houdini who of course is famous for putting issues on. Without bending over. People use the amazing things. You basically go from miles around to see how he put his shoes on. Well, in the 80s, Gilbert Godfrey specialized in introducing things where women took their

tops off. And now he's specializing in ways that old people can put their shoes on. I suppose an old person could take their top off with the shoes. They could doff their top. So that's all a long way around to saying that we watched a movie tonight that was called White Out. It's time to... Oh, White Out. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Everyone's watching.

Okay. See what you will do. Right? That's the song. Right. See what you will do. Right? That's the song? Right. I don't know. That's the Whiteout song?

That's twice the royalties. That you have to pay. Chichang, you're welcome, ASCAP. So, Kate Beggarthale was in this film. Yes. Everyone, America's sweetheart, Kate Begginsale. America's English rose sweetheart. The actress that Amanda turned to us and said,

what else has she been in? Well, to be fair, many of her movies, lately, in most of her movies, have involved vampires and werewolves. Yeah, well, you're married to a guy who corrode a book about werewolves, so you should be more familiar with Kate Beggins sale than either of us. If you took any interest in your husband's life.

Obviously she doesn't. Yeah, like she all I know is she wasn't in twilight or twilight new moon. But that could describe the vast majority of actors. A very small majority of actors. The very small percentage of actors fall into two categories. In Twilight or Twilight New Moon or not. You're saying that if you watch any Vampire World movies, you'll know who Kate Beckett Sale is, but I'm saying I've watched two movies. She wasn't in either of those.

Fair enough. I don't know what it takes to smoke Kate Beckett sale out of her own. But, fairly important. You got to go to more than two vampire werewolf movies. Why have she been in, seriously? Underworld series. Don't, never heard of it.

She was in Van Helsing. Nope, earlier in her career. She was in. She also has vampires and werewolves in it. Yeah, she was in cold comfort farm Which has no vampires and werewolves. I haven't seen it. It's a fun movie. Serendipity with John Q. Say. Oh, I saw that. That's when you know what that is. That's when fate has a sense of humor. Yeah, when fate is Stupid. That's what yeah, I movie. Yeah, one of those movies where the screenwriter decided to have the characters throw huge roadblocks in the way of their own happiness. Actually, a movie loosely based on a dessert restaurant. So, loosely based. I mean they go there in it. 50% of the film is their famous frozen hot chocolate. Really? So it's now going to have to be on 45 minutes of the running time. So I'm more interested in how frozen hot chocolate is physically possible that I am

and everything that happened in White O. Serendipity Dan. You know, there was a bit of foreshadowing in Serendipity foreshadowing for the movie Whiteout. Because the important thing about serendipity is that when fate has a sense of humor. She loses a glove and John Qzak finds her glove and gives it to her. And you know when she could have used a glove when she was out in Antarctica and why did the movie why that because she lost her gloves and it's end of losing two fingers as a result. Yeah so should we tell the we should tell the audience story there is to

this stupid film. Yes please. Not to be biased or anything. White out tells the tale of Kate Beckinsale whose name I don't remember in the movie so we'll call her Kate Beckinsale, whose name I don't remember in the movie, so we'll call her Kate Beckinsale, who is the US Marshall, who is stationed at the Ant Arctica Research Center. I guess in case there's a crime that takes place in Antarctica. She's just about to leave. She's a day away from leaving for somewhere else, and the reason she was at Antarctica is because she had some trauma in her past involving a rest she made in Miami. Also involving a cute she made in Miami.

Also involving a cute vest and sleeveless top. Yes. And when you have a traumatic experience and a place known for a certain type of weather, you have to go to a place that is the exact opposite type of weather. The exact opposite type of weather, exactly. So they would, what am I saying? Okay, so she's about to leave. Her only real friend there is Doc, played by Tom Skarratt, who is a doctor, and uh-oh,

a body's found out in the middle of nowhere. How could it have gotten there? And it was a murder, and this discovery leads her on a trail of intrigue and adventure, and eventually turns out it's like a diamond smuggling operation. Yeah. Oh, and along the way she's attacked by a man with an ice axe, and she has to open up the door of a place when it's really cold and her gloves are on, and she loses her fingers as a result.

Now, Ellie, is it a diamond smuggling operation, or is it that this has something to do with the prologue where it happens in 1957 and there's a Soviet plane that someone starts shooting on it for reasons that are not apparent at the time and the plane crashes. The reasons that are never apparent. It's never apparent. There's a Soviet plane that's carrying diamonds over Antarctica for God knows what reason. And one of the guys starts, I guess the pilots have decided to steal the diamonds. So they start shooting up the plane, everyone dies and the plane crashes, and then 50 years

later, these diamonds are rediscovered by somebody and someone else gets them and then some people decide to do something with them somewhere and this somehow leads to other people dying and something ends up going on and Cape Arkansas wanders around the snow for a long time and then it turns out it was Doc and Doc kills himself. So you would call these diamonds the MacGuffin. I would call them the Macrappin. Wow. Because this is not a good move. Right. So yeah, no, it's your typical who done it, set on Antarctica. Sort of, except there's a lot of who cares who done it.

How so? I mean, a body mysteriously appears, I guess, and Antarctica Antarctica but I don't know I mean they don't build up a lot of suspense you don't really care. Well, part of the problem with this movie and I don't know whether it was because DVDs are mixed in a weird way or my sound system is weird but they put a lot more emphasis on making sure you could hear the wind than any of the dialogue that actually transpired just as in the final scene of the film, they put more emphasis on the fact that there was a blinding white snow storm.

As opposed to telling you which of the snow suit clad figures is who when they're all fighting. The ones you can dimly see as gray shapes through the snow yeah I think they really thought people were excited about snow and that and I think they missed their chance because this year snow was very big yes yeah maybe that's part of the problem actually maybe if we had seen this movie in October, we would have thought it was amazing. Look at them! They know the identical figures in the sky! No! That we can barely see through some snow.

But yeah, it's not a well-made movie. And the emphasis seems to be on keeping the audience from understanding what is going on at any given point. Yeah. Yeah, and, okay, so there's a character who is in grave danger, who calls Cape Beck and Sale from an alternate. There's another area that was a Russian camp and the research camp, and there are some geologists who are there who are pulling ice samples out of Antarctica. And one of them calls Cape Beck and Sale and says, come over here ice samples out of Antarctica. And one of them calls Kate

Beckham Salons' come over here and you'll understand everything. And she's like, what's going on? Just tell me. And he's like, no, you have to come over. And she says, no, really? It's, I would have to go through a white out blizzard and a white out is a blizzard. South Pole to get to you. Yeah. And he says, no, you have to come over. And then she comes over and he's dead. He's dead. And that's a guy with an ice axe who tries to get to you. Yeah. And he says, no, you have to come over and then she comes over and you know. And he's dead. He's not the guy with an ice axe who tries to get him. Why wouldn't he just tell her? Oh, there's a murder. Well, man, the diamonds are something you really need to see to understand. Yeah, they're forever. You know, it could physically be in the presence of the thing that's. And those were big diamonds when we see them. They're uncut.

You know how many two-month salaries it would take to buy all those? Good lot so many. Yeah, you know A lot of kisses are gonna begin there Yeah inside that dead guys sewn together calf full of diamonds every kiss begins there Yeah, and also and also Elizabeth Taylor would point out that these have always given me luck meeting White Diamond's course. And she would point out diamonds. She'd hold them from her own ear. Because you see Doc Tom Scarrett had been sowing uncut diamonds into dead people's flesh. Back of them. Yeah. In order to smuggle them out somehow, maybe I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, in order to smuggle them out somehow. Maybe I don't know yeah The whole thing the movie is very interested in the movie and It it it's almost like it's trying to lull you to it's like an action movie that's trying to lull you to sleep To see if you can if it can defeat you, you know, yeah, like staying awake is a challenge that the movie has thrown a gauntlet the movie is thrown down well it's it like it takes a long time for the the parka clad ski mask parka and recreation's the ski mask wearing killer with his uh... ice uh... hammer or whatever like the it's like an ice axe yeah

so he's like the slasher in this film it takes a long time for him to actually show up in the movie he's really only in like two c and then they use him very sparingly yeah and then he's almost immediately unmasked as being this goofy Australian guy yeah who is completely non-threatening without the mask and axe what's he doing there how did he get there? Maybe some things you would think we he's one of the pilots who works at the research station And how did he know about the diamonds? Oh, I don't know

Oh, he was with the group that found the Russian plane that had the diamonds in it I think so if a group of geologists sees a bunch of diamonds they immediately go ape shit and start murdering each other with ice axe Yes, well that's the thing I was almost wondering if like the Russians were carrying like a meteor that drives people crazy or something like that like because it seemed whenever people got around it They started they would go into like a murderous rage of some kind which almost makes like more sense It makes more sense to me that we'd be watching a movie about a rock that brainwashes people and makes them go crazy then about diamonds where everyone is just like duh diamonds uh well that's sort of what I'm saying like everything ends up being less interesting than it is like

you know you're introduced to this uh axe wielding figure and then he's almost immediately demystified as a goofy Australian yeah you, like you think that maybe there'd be some crazy explanation like, no, it's just uncut diamonds. And then at the end, I kind of admire that the movie doesn't have like a big stupid action ending. Yeah, there's no explosions. But still, at the end, it's kind of like, well, we've uncovered that it's Doc, Tom Scarrett. Now tom scarrett is going to do the noble thing and walk into the blizzard and dot just like the end of whatever happened to the man of tomorrow the alan more superman story

it is that is that i would he literally walks out of his base on an arctic uh... seemingly to his doom as a as punishment Mr. Mixer-Pidley. Yeah, except for he doesn't kill himself. No, but he's exposed himself to Kryptonite that supposedly would kill him. That supposedly he doesn't have his power so he died in the cold. Really, that's not what happens. I can't ever see that movie.

Well, it's a really good comic. I recommend it. Oh, it's a comic. Drawn by Kurt Swann. I think I'm gonna read a comic. You might do a guy who wrote a book about werewolves. Look, I still have sex. All right. I'm not gonna start reading comic books. By the way, when my husband we don't reproduce. We don't know when my husband proposed to me and offered me

the diamond that's currently on my finger. He did. I immediately swung at him with an ice axe. Wow, no, that's the effect I'm in. That's how people. Anytime you're around time. And he also, he had. You could be a modeled banner geologist.

He handed you a man's calf and you opened it around a diamond ring in science. Yep. Here's something that I wanted to talk about a little bit. I said this during the movie itself that I feel there's two obvious ways you would go with this story. You would not do it. You would say.

No, I'm Kate Beckinsale. Show me a better script. One where I raise my voice at least once. One where I don't spend the movie flying from one place to another through snow. Kate Beckinsale, by the way, not complaining, but introduced in a movie about wearing a lot of clothes, slowly taking your clothes off and then taking a shower. Yeah, well, there should have been more of that. Yeah. Yeah. That's the exploitation instinct that this movie unfortunately suppressed for the rest of the

film. It's almost like they thought they were making a classy movie, but really they were making a piece of garbage. So they were like, listen, we'll make it really atmospheric, real quiet. You know, we're not going to draw attention to this unseemier elements of this movie about murders over a diamond robbery, but instead they should have done that. Yeah, but the two ways that I'm talking about is if you're gonna have a film about a US martial soul of an accrim in Antarctica. And why wouldn't you have that?

It's not a bad setup, it's an interesting setup. No, no, well tell the two ways you would do it. I would either do it by there's no law force down in Antarctica, because why would there be, I mean, the Wild West. There probably is, and that's where they base this on they probably like someone heard Oh like Antarctica is a US Marshall for some reason let's side of mystery But most people would think like of course there's no police down there

So let's have a murder happen down there and then we have to send someone who's not used to being in Antarctica So it's like insomnia solve this crime exactly who's not used to being an Antarctica. So it's like in Sony. It's all of this crime. Exactly. Or you go the other way and you have a cop who works there because maybe they're a scientist, maybe they don't want a really like,

sands of scop. Yeah, I like it. Science cop. Yeah. He's not actually like, scientific cop. He's not like a gritty freak cop. He doesn't use science to save, solve the crime. She looks up a series of printouts that say science on them.

And then she looks up the words that don't have X's next to them and the word is science and she uses that to find the bodies with the diamonds. It makes as much sense as what I've just said. And then she compares the sutures on the bodies to the sutures on her three fingered hand. Yeah. Cause she, Tom's carrot just chopped up two of her fingers. He was in top gun. Right.

And alien. That was the point. So you were saying that. No, I was saying that like you would have a cop who is not used to actual crime because they're a cop. You'd either have someone who's not used to an arctic and is dealing with that or a cop who's out of their league because they're not used to solving crime. Right. it's what, you know, you're, you know,

you're screening the taking of Pellum on two three tomorrow too late for the people or not. Maybe if you put this up today, I'm not putting it up tomorrow. It goes up on the weekend, like it always. It will have screened on the screen, but the point is, like, back in time and see it. You have Walter Mathau there is someone who's a transit cop who's not used to dealing with terrorists yeah that's what makes it negotiate interesting yeah you know like a guy who's above his head but is dog it and intelligent and makes it you know like solve the case as opposed to someone who's brought in murders before but is boring and stupid and also has lived living in Antarctica for

I don't know 80 years by this point. Yeah, she has trauma because she keeps flashing back to her last case back on the mainland Um where she was in Miyami In Veneto see that's how they say it see and uh she and her partner captured a criminal of some kind they never explained what he did or who he was well he didn't have a threatening go to yes and he looked vaguely Hispanic and hit her partner said drugs is what you're saying drugs I have to assume so and her she was attacked by the criminal because her partner had been bribed to let him escape and possibly kill her in the ensuing madness right and but she is managed to she subdues the criminal and her partner pulls a gun and she shoots him so

that he falls out of an open window well but that's let's not gloss over this this was what was really funny to me is the the bad guy bribes the other partner to to let him go and then the bad guy goes into the bathroom alone to slam her face into a mirror and Kate Bagginsales over is able to overpower him and then she exits to find the her partner talking on the phone and be like officer down like the partner didn't go in to the bathroom to make sure that this went down correctly like didn't go into check to make sure that she was actually dead and when she was supposed to.

Well, the way you do it too is that you have the person beat you up. And then he escapes and you say like, oh, I couldn't stop him. He took me, you know, I turned away for a second, you know, so there's an alibi or not an alibi. So that your other partner doesn't get killed or have the shit beat out of her as a while you're standing out the walkie talkie went oh I don't know he escaped and then when you buy a new car or a big screen TV there's that much less suspicion on you right you bought it but she every time she sees like a bullet wound or anything she flashes back to this event and there's a scene where she's sleeping

She's just she's just fought off the guy with the ice axe for the first time and She manages to get back inside their fighting in the snow she gets back inside Shuts the door so he can't get in and passes out and then she flashes back to Miami and do the fight She just had seconds ago and we see it in brief you know all in reflashes again while she is in bed. It's the fight so nice they showed it twice but not even like space to part. Yeah immediately afterwards we get a recap of what just happened but interspersed or intercut with her Miami fight.

Her Miami event. So that we understand oh she's not that good of being a US Marshal. There's a reason they said there are two Antarctica. Which she has never had to do anything. Yeah, and then also there's a scene where this, where's that guy from? The nice guy?

No, the other guy at the UN. UN is like, well, you know, I'm here investigating here investigating because you know we've never had a murder in Antarctica before this could become an international incident somehow as if like all of a sudden They're gonna be tons of murders and it's like well and Antarctica is a really bad neighborhood now. Oh, yeah Well per capita that per capita right That's a little downmill. Right, right, right. It was terrible. And the, it was like genocide.

I'm not surprised they sent the US Marshall to who doesn't, isn't very good at the station, because the research station doesn't seem to be very good at being a research station. Everyone, and we constantly see people just kind of hanging out. There's a band in Hawaiian shirts that's always playing in the hallway of the research station. It's like an absurd scrub. They pour, They pour a bunch of booze into glasses getting most

of it on the floor. Yeah, yeah, really like she always bothers me in movies by the way. I'm like, it's perfectly good alcohol that you're just tossing around because you're showing that we're party animals. Yeah, if you were in that scene you'd be like, no, you'd be licking the floor to get boo oozing. I'd be crying. Yeah. And they're using ice samples for the ice in the glass. Million year old ice samples. They're like serving chips out of a mastodon. Yeah.

Well, that happens. Well, it's like people who found a mastodon, they ate it. Well, it's like how... I don't think it was very good. It's like how New York tap water is supposed to be good because of all the tiny crustaceans of them. Is that what does it? Because it is gray.

It is the best tasting water in the world. So there you go. Same thing with old ice. Oh yeah, old ice is full of crustaceans. But it's supposed to be a research station, but it's like full of weird computer displays that just show you nothing but Maps or like really old-fashioned like green on black type and then there's people just hanging around in shorts and t-shirts partying Like in the beginning there's a group of streakers for no reason. Yeah through the middle of Antarctica

Yeah, and it's like there's a scene where Tom's scared just trying to teach these guys how to Survive in the cold and they're not wearing enough coats and he's like oh your core temperature is dropped by 97 degrees by now You're losing motor functions like you're gonna die in a little bit. I'm gonna teach you how to survive But we've just seen like a bunch of guys run naked through in Antarctica So it's like wait a minute that how could they do it, you know? Well, they're pros, Elliot. I guess so. Yeah, they've got a tough outer shell of skin that keeps the warmth in. I will say that Tom Scare is pretty good in this movie. He's very happy.

I always like to see Tom Scare get work. Yeah. So we can get work wet out. Thank you for giving Tom Scare to paycheck. Yeah. Did we have any other stupid things? I always talk about how like you brought it up a little bit with the computers like how all the computers in the movie either seem to be like you know like old

like Commodore 64 style green on black or whatever or it's like the at the end Cape Egg and Tails sends an email and after she sends it, there's a big green check mark that covers about a third of the screen that says, sent. And I don't, you know, do filmmakers not realize that there are personal computers in every house these days? Maybe, that's an email program that we just don't, maybe that's how NetZero works. Yeah, or like like Fios yeah it's like you know do you know dot might be like large print email for like people with bad eyes or like Antark

to come mail that's true but you said that as if it was fun but there was no no there was nothing it wasn't even two it wasn't even two words combined into one it was both words in the wrong place. But it's, you do, I mean, you see the movies a lot like, or like, I remember it when I know who killed me. When we watched that, like, it's Joe there who are using a web search in like, in a way that doesn't make sense and with the way computers don't work.

Like, it's almost like, yeah, they don't trust people to know how to do it. Well, yeah, there was a scene in, what was it, Dragon Ball? No, not Dragon Ball, it was. D-Whears Yeah, there was a scene in what was it? Dragon Ball? No, not Dragon Ball. Do you want to see it? Dragon Ball? Shoot, which one was it? I didn't see Dragon Ball.

Chun Lee. Street Fighter. Street Fighter Legend of Chun Lee. Where someone does a search. The Street Fighter, the Legend of Chun Lee. It would have been a very different movie. It's that a Chun Lee is Chun Lee. There's a scene where they don't know someone's name,

but they do a search for her apparently be her face. Well there's some apps that can do that now. Yeah, but if they didn't have like a photo of her like I don't know like where do they get the photo in the first place. Yeah that's true. It seemed to have been that they remembered what her face looks like and they did a search off of it. Wow. They did a description of it. Can you just draw a sketch into your computer and have it look up that face? I guess so. It would be pretty cool. It would be good. I think the rapists right away. It would be much better than the current way where they don't find them.

What a grim application for the technology you immediately do. That's a good application for it. No, it is a good application. It would be just a rapist. It would be any criminal. That's true. Good point. Yeah, so there's that. That's the kind of courtesy that Elliot chose. Good point. Yeah, so there's that. That's the kind of courtesy that Elliott chose, all women.

Listen, I know women aren't just victims of rape. Sometimes they're victims of other crimes. Fapped, murdered, assault. Now let's see. Intellectual property rights. Dog mapping. I mean, the woman isn't the victim of the dog is. Well, woman's feelings are the victim. I mean we don't know the dog mapper isn't

treating that dog well. Can I take this moment to bring up another problem I had? The woman's a film Whiteout. Yeah, we just don't know what to write out. No, if I had another kind of problem, I'd just draw a face into rapistfind.com. She has a name already. It's going to be an approaching venture capital and set for the podcast. It's called rapistfind.com. I think it's the next chat roulette. It's going to be really big. Actually, that's probably a horrible point, tight that I, I don't even know. Nobody look into it.

Nobody typed that into their computer. Don't. Oh, it's happening right now. Oh, don't do it. Well, it's not happening right now. It's happening in the future when people are listening to us. Well, right now for them. Yeah.

God. It's so weird that we're recording this now and yet in a week when people listen to it, we could all be dead. Wow. You're grim too. Yeah. Well, week when people listen to it. We could all be dead. Wow You're grinned. Yeah, well, I had to go I had to go to a man's level Up. No, let's draw the faces of the people we think might merr us Who is wrong? Yeah, so what were you? What was your problem with? Oh, okay? So there's this So what was your problem with the way? Oh, okay, so there's this climactic fight.

Oh, wait out. Stop it. I told Dan that I liked picture Whiteout as a movie about an addiction to liquid paper corrector starring Edie McCleurg's character from Ferris Beaver. That would be a great movie. Whiteout. Ed. Oh, Ed.

Well, I don't want to. Whiteout. We have to order more. She's making she's getting murdered someone with an ice ass. Oh, I shouldn't have done that. It's a pretty good yet obscure impression you've got. I had to do it. I don't want to brag to everybody on the internet, but I work at advertising and one campaign I was working on They're like we need an eating clerk type. Yes, I was like it no, but I was one who says for that serial plug-ins Clorgoes, I guess

Every box That's the kind of shoes that they wear at home. Oh, you won't believe what just happened in the bathroom. But I wanted one of our talking sponges in our talking sponge campaign to sound like eating the floor, and I demonstrated the voice for a group of executives, and all I could say was, it's a good eating McClure. I could probably get eating McClure for that role. That's what I was hoping. The thing is, like, now eating McClure, he's listening to this podcast.

And she's the moaning of the paycheck she missed out on. I'm sorry, eating. Yeah, eating has been a big fan of this. This is what I guess for a while. She never misses a cast. What? I think the flop house is a righteous dude. That's her next promo. I probably have to say her and the state of John Hughes will have

money for that. There's a state called John Hughes. When did we make John Hughes a state? We got 50 of them. We don't need a 50 verse. The point of recourse when waiting for so long gives them a shot. It's just outside of Chicago. It's just one high school in Chicago. And they're their own state. But wait, so my problem, I promise. So there's this big fight, big fight, and it's between. Which way?

Three people in identical parkas in a thick coating of snow. So we don't know who is who. We just don't know. Why couldn't someone have been wearing a red parka? Like a red parka or like a, like a, yeah, a hat or like a, you know, like a scarf that's blowing out behind them or like a, you know, how like a name Yeah, yeah, that flows out over the park. Yeah, let me just make it Santa It's like watching any fight scene in one of the Transformers movies. You're like well there are two robots fighting I don't know which one is which or why I should care

But it sure has happened The other problem with all the fight scenes is like they all take place along one of these ropes Guide ropes is guide ropes, which is it could be cool if it was done differently, but yeah, well I just kept watching it thinking like Okay, well all of these buildings like are close enough to each other that I feel like if you were in a Life or death situation you would let go of the rope you wouldn't take the time to actually buckle yourself to the rope. But if you let go of the rope you get blown away in the in the white out. You're supposed to do that. Oh, white out.

Don't want to work. I just want to make that sound. That's how it goes right. I know wanna work. I just wanna make it. That's how it goes, right? I didn't think so. Three songs. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do The Flophouse message board lit up with people quoting it. The Flophouse talking dolls that we released. Mine said that, you were said, you pulled the string and I went, and when you pulled Stuart's string, it was his penis. Wow. And watch it, dude. Something like that, yeah. Yep.

So, if you want to buy one of those, plop house talking girls. You want to buy one of those. Man you factored. And then sell it to yourself. Give us a cut. I hate talking dolls where you pull this during and then you realize it's Stuart's penis. That's the way it works. You should be able to figure that out. No. Before you pull it. No. The least it all can do is be upfront with you. I don't know.

It reminds me of the heyday of a, for some reason, of Freddy Krueger when there was a Freddy Krueger talking doll for children, and no one seemed to think that the character of a hideously disfigured child molester, who murders children, might not be the best character to make a talking doll for seven-year-olds. What did he say? It was like sweet dreams, you know, like Freddy is here, you know. And I'm going to molest you. I was...

I'm a victim of mob justice. I had a temp job once where I worked. And Freddy's office? Yes. Wow. That was the worst. Awkward. Colating Dreams. Colating Dreams. Colating dreams. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Colating, collating dreams. This is the next Oprah's book, what do I do? Hahaha. Anyway, little attempt job. I was working at Discovery Toys, but I was working like for the people who decided which toys the Discovery Channel would be selling or whatever. And so they had a closet of all their Steve Erwin dolls This was before before he died. Oh, okay, and they're like, I mean, we need to we don't know what we have

So we need you to go into the closet and like press the button on each and every Steve Erwin doll and catalog what they're saying I was like so I just had to go into this closet by myself and like, G'day mate. That's a Fauce T-Shila. Just, you know. Wow. Yeah, writing it down. It's amazing, you've done it.

It never heard of. That sounds great. Yep. I wouldn't say that. I love you. Not one time did I pull something and find out it's T. Verwin's penis. That's good Not one time. Just imagine that the one the your press dozens of Steve Irwin dolls are normal and one that's possessed by a killer spirit And it says crazy scary things, but then you're like watch out for stingrays

Steve Irwin doll Sorry, I'm pressured yep Steve Irwindall. Oh, Steve Irwindall. Oh, sorry. It's outprescient. Yep. Yep. So guys, when you said Steve Irwindall, what I thought at first was Steve Irkaldall, I was

like, why did you discover it, you know, all these Steve Irkaldalls? Well, he made the Irkaldall. That's true. And the Jetpack, the miniaturization ray, the time machine. He was quite an amazing scientist. Yeah, the machine that turned him into Stefano Rical, the cool version. He was a an amazing scientist. Yeah, the machine that turned him into Stefano Rical, the cool version. He was a very good scientist. Yeah, he was way ahead of any technology we actually have today.

If only he could have turned his studies to Curie Cancer as opposed to building a robot of himself that could work at a convenience store. Did he have that realization and look with him and say, did I do? Elliot necessity is the mother of invention. No Frank's app is the mother of invention. Well, learn something now. So you're saying, wait, that he needed a robot of himself.

He needed some of the cover shift. Because I can't imagine, like, Erickles in the cover shift. Oh, I think it. Because I can't imagine, I can't imagine, like, Erichel is in the lab and he goes, that last, another one of perfect beauty, like me. If he was diagnosed with that. I was perfectly formed, reproduced in metal. If he was diagnosed with a terrible disease, he would have probably cured it.

That's how we could have saved things if we could have found some way of giving Erichel a disease. I'm giving Erichel a disease. I think this discussion would have been more pertinent if we had watched surrogates. Yeah, we should have watched surrogates. Let's know.

All right, well, I think it's time to put a cap on this discussion of White Out and give our cap on the White Out. I get it. Oh, yeah, because that's the thing you put on the bottle of the thing. White Out. And do our final judgments on Quickly because I don't think we have much to say but the categories as always are was this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or Movie that you actually kind of liked in some way a man to go oh my god

terrible God, terrible. I thought this movie was boring and terrible. And they should have marketed it as a movie about diamonds. And then... A sequel to Blood Diamonds. Yes, Snow Diamonds. Really cold leg diamonds. It's a sequel to Blood Diamonds and Snow Diamonds. They pull a bag of diamonds out of someone's leg and at no point do we yell out legs diamonds

That's a good point. Oh Do over we better watch the movie. Yeah, okay. I have it for 24 hours guys. Oh good. Oh that is 24 hours too much I would call it a bad bad movie. I think this is this was for me I think the most boring movie we've watched more than 10,000 BC or seven pounds which I actually had had less trouble watching than you guys did. But early on I watched when I was watching this movie I'm like hey you know what this might not be so bad it's got Tom scared in it I don't think that

Kate Beckinsale has like good choices in movies, but she's certainly a very pretty woman, a good looking- And it opened with her stripping underpants. Yeah, that was a good sign. Sports bra. Well, but- That's very small briefs, though. She was very fetching in her panties and sports bra.

That should be a greeting card. You were very fetching in your panties and sports bra. That should be a greeting card. You are very fetching in your panties and sports bra. But in the pre- at the first communion. Is that inappropriate? If you were to get back card, run. Let me clear the way of the Gentiles, Elliot. No, I'm assuming that's something that old people do. So, yeah, but the premise too, not bad, you know, like someone is gonna have to solve a murder at Antarctica. The idea of a murder on Antarctica is not bad, but everything else is terrible.

But yeah, but then the movie slowed way down and all the mystery was were solved way too quickly and I was just boring. It felt like watching a particularly bad point and click video game Where it's like uh-oh now you have to go to the other base fly there you found an object. It's an ice axe. Oh You know Well, what will you do with it? Use on door, you know and stuff like that Maybe maybe maybe you've discovered the way that they can make back a little money on this property, the way it out.

Adventure game. Hey, remember that movie No One Light from a couple years ago? Well, now here's a video game based on it. You go back in time and get Sierra to put it out. Except in every scene in the video game, Kate backinsale would be and her panties and sports broad Oh, of course for no reason. Oh for very good. And she'd have all of her fingers Yeah, well, maybe like if you make a wrong choice you lose the finger He doesn't I mean there's something balsy about a movie with a starring a beautiful woman where at a certain point that

She loses two of her fingers and they're just gone like they don't come back you know but there's also something she has no lizard DNA she's not Kurt Connors yeah but they're but it's still not it doesn't make a good movie it's just an interesting choice for them to go through with well that was that was by far the most effective scene when she had to have her fingers amputated yeah so uh uh I guess watch that scene we know what dan likes and movies is women in the outer pants and women getting their fingers cut off i'm the guy from saw anyway we have one letter

to read uh... just one i like letters yeah this is from my uh... my internet love ashtray a woman who wrote in uh... to reassure me that uh... you and Stewart weren't the only... The only flop studs? That's very nice. This is an entry in my Give Dan a Hook contest.

Oh, okay. It says hook and clothes. Dan, how is there even a question of your hook? Obviously, it's those mournful sides. Ah, funny, because it's true. Keep going. Just like you said about my doll, my fluff house doll. When Stuart says something grotesque, when you're trying to get the conversation back on track, or just when the full realization of how terrible movie was sets in, it's trademarked

ban. Don't fight it and brace it. Is either that or conduct off future podcasts as Michael Cain? I could see that. So with your damacoy side guy. No, let's do it here one. It's pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty good. I really believed you were unhappy with your life and the way it's going. Well, it's a constant baseline and this pleasure that I'm able to draw. It's like a superpower.

Yeah. Well, you really, the size are a part of you. Like, if you were a Broadway show, you'd be miss Saigon. Oh, God. You're just trying to draw the eye of you. I think Dan should be a psychiatrist. Yeah, that's pretty good. If he was a singer at Java, the Huts barge, he would be size noodles.

Keep coming, come on. If E-Wave was a movie of a retro futuristic film, it would be Sy Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Good, good. If he was going to measure earthquakes, he would, well, he would just be a size malogist. I didn't really bring a lot to that one. Sorry. If he was from what the ancient Romans called a gall,

he would be a packet of French size instead of French fries. All right. So. And if he was to pick you, he would live in a big sigh. Well, that was a whole lot of nothing. Anyway, let's move on. I appreciate the hook, though, even though it makes me out to be even sadder than before. Let's move on to the final.

So is that hook contest still open? Well, we haven't talked about how we're going to decide the winner. So I guess it is by default. Here's a terrible truth about the Flop House. We don't discuss the mechanics of these things off the air because we forget to. Yep, well we're busy people. Me with Miami winning career and you guys with whatever it is you do. Wow. Wow. Then my new hook is I'm a jerk. Name dropping jerk. The name of an name have been award. I know, but earlier, before when we were not recording, you mentioned Dan Hathaway.

No, I didn't know. Dan Hathaway. I knew her. Is it best friend? No, not at all. Barely no. Not going to drop names. OK.

Not that name, anyway. Yeah, but I think that we should keep it open one more round just because we haven't figured that out entirely. And if we- Would that be seven rounds or 12 rounds, like the movie 12 rounds? I want to hook. If I had a hook on the show it would be that I live nearby.

Yeah, you're running. I have a variable at what I'm saying. I can immediately live very close to Dan. No, you know. No, you really don't figure it out. OK. I was going to, for the benefit of the audience, who doesn't know you, you're a standup of many years.

And you've written for. I'm an old standup. I'm a really wizened, shriveled little lady. Yes. And you've written for various television programs. You can't see it, but I'm not going to write it. The jokes are told to come out of my hand. Since Caesar.

I wrote for since Caesar. Yeah, wrote for Brunton Allen. Listen, Si and the Family Stone. I just want to get that one. Si and the Family Stone is pretty good. Si clops. Yeah, well, you're the Si clops of the group. Kind ofine, the family's selling this pretty good. Cyclops? Yeah, well you're the cyclops of the group, kind of boring, the leader, sells it all together when no one likes him, he's no one's favorite.

Really? Is that what Cyclops is known for? I thought it was just the one I think. No, he is known for being the X-Man no one cares that much about. Yeah. He's the Leonardo of the group, as we always say. Another one, everyone's least favorite Ninja Turtle. Gotcha. The Luke Skywalker if you will Yeah, that's pretty good

So let's move on James Madison of the group if we were the founding fathers very important But no one cares for him So let's move on to the final segment of the show, which is where we recommend things that we actually liked. Impossible. In order to take the bitter taste of failure out of all of your mouths. So I'll start from once. I saw the movie In the Loop recently, which is like to see that i feel like needs

my critical support because it is a oscar nominated for best attack that adapted screenplay film and it was on a lot of ten best of the year lists but it's uh... extremely funny uh... and it also for the first like half of the movie it's one of the funniest comedies I've seen in years.

Then for the next quarter, it turns into almost like a political thriller. And then it's just devastatingly depressing, while still being funny. But it's one of these movies where I had it from Netflix, and I sort of immediately wished I owned it, because the density of jokes in it is so great. many of them are just sort of thrown away and tossed off. And you could rewatch it, I feel like multiple times and still get a lot out of it.

So that's pretty good. I'd like to see them, Lamy. Amanda, do you have anything racked up? Oh, yeah. I recently rented Coco before Chanel, which I would recommend. It's the story of Coco Chanel. Is that the one with Audrey Tatoo? Or is that someone? Wee! Audrey Tatoo is adorable and pretty much everyone could just look at her for a couple hours. And it's just it just so happens that while you're looking at her,

she's acting out the story of Coco Chanel. She's not just lying around reading a magazine. I mean, part of the time she is, but it's Coco Chanel reading a magazine. Oh, I see. Um, and I recommend it even though I'm not sure if it's pronounced biopic or biopic. This is just go ahead. I say biopic.

I say biopic, but other people say biopic. Okay. Biopic sounds to me like myopic. Yeah, it's like there's two opics. Yeah, two op exactly. Where's biopic. It's like, oh, it's a moving picture. That's a pornography because you don't say.

Well, no, you do say that. I was trying to. Wait a minute. I was trying to. I was having an argument with herself inside her own brain. It's just a movie identity. That really plays well over the internet radio. Yeah. Interval of conversations. Quiet.

Quiet does. That's sort of the white out of radio. It makes the listener lean in. What is it they can hear your thoughts? And turn the volume up, because they think it's broken. What happened to Amanda? She's their neighbor, I don't know, she's very old. Nice, that they let that old neighbor know.

That'll be the next contest, solve the mystery of what happened to Amanda. She was about to recommend Coco before Chanel and men the lights went out No, it turned out again. She was gone. She was found sewn inside a dead body's calf That's how small I am. I didn't mention. Oh, yeah, she's also tiny. She's like a gnome No, neighborly no She's like a gnome No, neighborly no Anyway, I'll it I think I will make this in international recommendations session your movies from England right and

Coco version L's a French film. Oh, yes, it's in French. I forgot to mention and have we as anyone recommended a thirst on the show yet No, I don't think so I saw recently thirst Chanwook Park's Vampire film, which I didn't think was perfect. It's a little too long and it kind of takes a while to get where it's going, but there's a lot of really good scenes to it. And it's almost less of a vampire horror movie than a kind of weird film noir involving vampire powers. Like it's much more a story about a man who falls afoul of a femme fatale and he happens to be a vampire and she wants to become one. Then it is about like twilight type stuff.

But there are a lot of really good gross scenes in it and I liked the ending of it a lot and Well, it wasn't my favorite of his films He also did like old boy and sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and lady Vengeance I Thought it was a an interesting twist on the normal vampires stuff Well, I literally have that in a Netflix envelope on my shelf right now So I will look forward to watching that. I'll be interested to see what you think about afterwards. I've been putting it off because I haven't had enough time to sit down and

pay attention to something that has subtitles. We're actually have to look at the screen for the full movie. Yeah it's a little it's over two hours too which is it's a little long but there's some there's some good blood scenes and things like that. All right, good blood scenes. I know Amanda likes that. Yeah, fewer of those in Cocoa before she's out. But there's still some. I mean, like, it reveals how Chanel used to kidnap people

and put them in a torch of chamber and make them make hard decisions. Well, she's like Lady Bathory. Like, that's how her cosmetics keep it away young. This is Blood of Virgins. Blood of Virgins. Like in that movie, it was an Ui Bowl movie, right? Ui Bowl.

Ui Bowl. Was it called like Blood Rain or something? I don't know, yeah. It's a lot like that. Blood bath. She uses the blood of virgins to make tasteful suits. Wow. Really?

Yeah. Well, that's very nice and little dresses, right? Yeah. And so forth. Murder. Well, guys, we got to wrap it up on that sort of weak desulterated note. But never confident, Dan McCoy.

Oh, right. Sias out of this one, huh? Yeah. We're in the matter of time. Note but uh, geez ever confident Dan McCoy Sias out of this one, huh? Yeah, Simon Masterson nice. There you go. You saved it the last minute you work barely So for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been a man to Nelson and I will continue to be Elliott Kaelin. Goodnight! N3. Like, he says N3 and then instead of saying 2, it takes a sip of water. You have to wait for those numbers, I guess. You know who never gets to do the countdown, his capebeck and sales character. Oh, she can go down from three. Two.

One.