The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #63 - From Paris With Love

Episode Date: July 9, 2010

0:00 - 0:16 - Introduction and theme 0:17 - 34:17 - Luc Besson is usually good for some dumb thrills.  Take away the thrills, and you have From Paris With Love. 34:18 - 36:55 - Final judgments 36:56 - 41:30 - Friendly's with benefits. 41:31 - 45:19 - NEW CONTEST ALERT 45:20 - 55:03 - The sad bastards recommend. 55:04- 55:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode we discuss from Paris with Love starring everyone's favorite action star loaded John Travolta. What did you, did you whittle this? Well, it was this table out of it. You carpenter this? You carpenter it? You carpenter. You worked, would worked it?

Mm-hmm. What? Let me put my thing on vibrate instead of making no noise. That's the two-sitting. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And over here, Elliot Talon.

You can't see it, but we're all on three different sides of a table. And well, we're in different corners of a room. How are my levels? We didn't check my levels before this one. You did check. What about my levels? It was pretty good.

Was that when I was telling my story earlier? I was when you were telling your story. Oh, good. It was a good story. The problem is if I tell you that that levels remain checked, you just yell check into the microphone. Yeah. Well, my story is great because it had a getting middle on end.

Oh yeah, it highs and lows, peeps and lows. It followed the Aristotelian Unities. Unities, thank you. Similar to a movie I watched. No, you're wrong on that. We watched a little film. Very little. I didn't watch very much of it.

From Paris with love. Now this sounds like a charming romantic comedy with maybe Catherine Hygiene. Or a famous star or a high call. Or a postcard or maybe it's a musical with Audrey Hippern or one of those parody films. Frank Lesser. Wait, not Frank Lesser. That's my friend. George Gersle lesser who's the lesser uh... guy the lesser of who which i was there there's a and this is a

hilarious let's go to the composer uh... marina's also frank lorin low let's let's say that instead that was a rogerson heart rogers and hammer i think i think this name could've also been used and i James James Bond parody film Yeah, I like the epic movie Franchise guys parody they're just switching out Russia and Paris. Yeah, I mean I mean, yeah, but they're they're pretty they're pretty weak when it comes to the parodies in those movies. Yeah it's true

In just my blanket parody movie put down, I just made. Yeah. Yes. So that was a dead end and let's move on. Harris with love. Starring, who was in it? Jonathan Reese Myers and John Trouville. And Jonathan're both John, yeah. They must have created hilarious complications on the set. Hi, Chris. Can you get John on the set? Not that John, the other John. Except for the fact that they're pretty much in every scene. That's true.

They would all be needed on the set. They would, on the set, they knew them as bad mustache, John, and Doeyball, John. I think that's probably why they didn't just have John Travoltata doing a dual role in this movie because the CGI costs would have been Extreme I don't think I think a screen can carry that amount of weight Don't do John Dervolta's on screen Wait, wait wait wait of character, right? I mean late of human body. You think that the computer would shatter Yes, all in the after screaming Yes. Only after screaming why? I only wanted to be human to feel your human emotion of love from Paris. Is that a set a short short circuit joke guys?

Just general computer is on the okay, I know you'll complex the most computers in the Oh, the Pinocchio complex. I think I took some classes is a nation culture in that the Pinocchio complex. The jupetto overdrive. So this is a is a the Cinderella protocol. I love these fairy tales by movies. This is a French-produced action film. Yes. Which is a... Which is a... Which is why Paris...

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are good for some fifth element some stupid jolt some fun some fun elements well this director uh... here the messenger that was a loopess on movie wasn't yeah it was this the director Pierre Morale uh... who was a mushroom inventor of the mushroom that bears his name the guy directed this film also directed District B 13 and taken to a solid B-action films

action. Yeah, just a lot of fun guys just you know Just a lot of fun. So going into the transporters right those were loop bass on produced. Yep. Those are great Yeah, not this director but he did the director worked on me he's a pretty heavy product producer hand although he actually or maybe not he's he's he's it seems lazy because it's like loop bassine comes up with a story idea has someone else write it has someone else directed and puts his name on it yeah but like the Judd app a towel of action movies oh Oh, man, you hate Judd Apertile. But if you're gonna watch him, he does work.

You hate him. What if you're gonna watch like a stupid action film, like a stupid action film that seems like like a middle school kid came up with? I would watch these. Yeah, I'd watch a Luke Passon one then like Legion, because of the, because of all the French extras and shot on location in France.

Yeah, and that very French and women walking around in lingerie shooting potentially underage. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there wasn't a lot of that. I was I was talking to Stuart before the movie before the recording after the movie and we're saying that there are three made there are three real female characters in this movie. Two of them end up shot in the head and one of them is a prostitute that that sums up the movie in a lot of ways I feel like what kind of message do you think that is that send the female viewers I think the message it sends is we hate you okay nice why are you watching this well I think I mean John Travolta probably has no interest

to them yeah well i mean it's clear it's clear by the end of the film that the love story is between john thunders mires and john and what is the story should we get into the plot of the well if you can if you can explain the plot of this film i will give you a couple of time i best and i do love coca-cola to find product may by fine company and all american drink

great taste gives the energy uh... for you cola. It's a fine product made by a fine company and all American drink. Great taste. It gives you energy. Oh sure. For you. Comes an attractive red can. Beautiful logo. Anyway. So that was the plan to come for cola. I explained what Coca-Cola is about, right? Jonathan Rizmiers is the aid to the American ambassador to France. And Jonathan Rizmiers has a very unbelievable American accent. he lives with a French girl named What is it Caroline Clementine Caroline Caroline? And they have a storybook romance, but he he doesn't want to be a low-level bureaucrat in an embassy He wants to be a secret agent. What does she do? She makes her own clothes. Okay. That's a believable profession

He gets the he gets the opportunity through a mysterious voice on his cell phone who we never find out who the voice is or where it's supposed to be. It's just like mission command. But it's not his ambassador boss. This is boss the investor never has any idea what the fuck he's doing or why he's not around. But uh, he gets told there's an American agent coming into town. You're his partner now. You got to drive him around his name's

Wax and this is John Travolta bald goatee earring in one ear flamboyant scarf leather jacket Pudgy putt very pudgy and he is a Still really charming. Oh, yeah, incredibly. He is but dangerous It's like a bad boy way in unlikeable incredibly chart he is but dangerous and like a bad boy way in unlikeable uh... unstoppable killing machine and he lies to jonathan rizmyers throughout the course of the film kills people basically on a whim

all the time it looks like they're gonna stop a chinese drug dealing gang then it turns out they're actually after terrorists uh... there's a lot of running around and shooting people with things uh... john drivaltis is a lot of running around and shooting people with things. John Travolta says a lot of irritating stuff. Jonathan Rismair is the straight man of the group. So it's a lot of like- You may putation marks in that two senses.

Yeah, isn't that. Are you bashing homosexuals again then? I'm not bashing them. I'm referencing the same rumor about John Travolta. You yourself had referenced earlier in the podcast. Okay, so I need you to help me. But it's a lot of like, come on baby, we got to shoot down these guys. referencing the same rumor about John Travolta yourself had referenced earlier in the pie. Okay. But it's a lot of like, come on, baby, we got to shoot down these guys.

Let's do this. Don't know. That's what I'm talking about. And then Jonathan Rismair says, what we're doing is this is crazy. Explain to me, sir. What is going on here? My fiance is waiting for you know, and that like, and they fight a lot. It turns out spoiler. I'm they fight a lot it turns out spoiler i'm skipping a lot

i do like how john favelta makes is constantly trying to make john thanry smires feel bad about having a fiancé yes and like i'm and this girl she's gonna read and like mess you up and everything uh... before she gets shot in the head but well later on she said they uh... they just leave a trail of bodies and explosions in their wake including at least three or four innocent french policemen who were blown up when they open uh... a booby were booby trap door and let me just say like it is not it is not clear

from the beginning what john faultas mission is supposed to be uh... it has it seems to do with shooting a bunch of uh... asian people at the beginning and finding cocaine carrying around a volves full of cocaine and somehow cocaine will leads to terrorism but there's what and the scene they kind of just like how in north plane northwest the scene where the plot is explained to carry grand there's a lot of airplane noise so you don't hear it john jivol to makes jenny rizmire's do some coke and then he explains the

plot to him which of course through john thierry's mires it's the movie brilliantly filters are through perception through his and john what john devils saying is almost incomprehensible you hear the words terrorist bomb something else yeah like it like there's like multiple john devolters on the screen and his voice goes all weird and i was expecting it to cut to a shot of john thnery's mires going cross-eyed like sticking us tongue out. You know like when Elliot does cocaine, right? Yeah, that's exactly what happens.

I turn into a tech savery character. Ironically, the speed of which he talks decreases when he does cocaine. He's like, I don't know why I oughta, but a shaking my fist. So they take a break to go have dinner at Jonathan Reese Myers apartment. They're laughing it up. but uh... shaking the fist uh... so they take a break to go have dinner at john thirteenth my apartment they're laughing it up john drivel to is really charming the pants

probably in the future off of uh... what's that carolines friend who's uh... vaguely vaguely pakistan your middle eastern looks like a terrorist right then she gets a phone call she's filled with terror she gets a phone call says oh someone calling for terrorists. She gets a phone call and says, oh, someone calling for Rose. There's no one here by that name. John Dervol to take out a gun, shoots her in the head. It turns out that was a code word for terrorist. The girlfriend, which she made

sure to say out loud. For who knows why? The girlfriend is also a terrorist. The whole apartment is bugged. She runs away. there's a daring rooftop chase which ends with John Travolta I assume having a heart attack when the cameras stop rolling sweating baking grease for him from his face the bathroom the poor stunt man who had to strap on a fat seat to do the fucking chase the the stunt man was in the makeup chair for six hours it was like one of the fucking clumps or something. Uh, they, it turns out the girlfriend has, this is a six year plan to kill some sort

of American diplomat at a conference of African nations at the American Embassy in Paris. They've got to stop this person. They follow a decoy car. Then it turns out that's the real car. They blow it up with a rocket launcher. They go to the embassy. John Thruzmire my eyes the home we have been very reluctant to shoot anyone uh and when he gets there he is forced why would he be reluctant to shoot people oil easy human john john dr. Valdice to do it willy nilin when john dr. Valdit kills he it's like it's like it's one of things where he

doesn't even have a license to kill like he has a license to slaughter you have to realize that Jonathan Trifold to So for Jonathan see more Travolta You're in trouble. John Travolta eats everything that he kills So he doesn't waste anything. That's why it's okay for him to do it. That's why so great He's also and he kind of like just He's also and he kind of like just like that gunfight in the the main factory which is not nearly as

exciting. So many seems that sound exciting like the gunfight in the main. The gunfight in the Chinese restaurant and he's just kind of flailing about firing his guns and obviously every single bullet finds their target. Yeah bad guys that have very little sense of self preservation by jumping out firing their uzzies into the air while getting shot.

A lot of uzzies are real throwback to action movies from 1988. Like I thought for a second they just took extra footage from last boy scout and spliced it in. Oh well okay so they're at the embassy. Jonathan Rizm is my girlfriend is there she's got a bomb strap to her chest he tries to talk her down but

it he tries to talk her down but it doesn't work and he shoots her in the head and everything's okay and john thirteenth is my is now secret agents and it's fucking miller time right there going play with chess while sitting on the tarmac with a hamburger right yeah yeah Royale cheese which is a reference to pulp fiction a movie that Jonathan Travolta was actually good in yeah movie it's just the movies reminding

you if you're angry and sad after watching this movie you can always go home and watch pulp fiction or you know phenomenon or any of those Fucking chits lucky numbers or Michael sure broken arrow Yeah broken arrow Hairspray sure I'm right colors. Oh, he's been a lot of junk. Yeah So this is a this is a meaningless incomprehensible, you know insult to the world. Yeah, what are my favorite?

Just incomprehensible bits is during the climax when You know, John Travolta is chasing after the Middle Eastern looking fellow in in a car with a rocket launcher. It's a car chase. John Dervolta has a rocket launcher with him. And he thinks that Carolin is also in the car because Carolin has placed a mannequin with a burka in the car with a guy's a decoy. Tell you that mannequin was really on the move. Yeah, I thought they were racing around looking for a magical necklace to bring that shit alive

and John and Reese Myers is like there's something wrong with this and he calls up John Travolta once he realizes that this is a decoy and John Travolta has a conversation With John and Reese Myers on a cell phone while outside of a car are whizzing at you know like one has to believe like 70 miles an hour at least Some amount of kilometers kilometers I don't know And he's like no no no no they're not trying to attack the diplomat or whoever the fuck their cars a decoy She's not in the car don't blow it up. Yeah, and then that accent is more believable than his accent Well, cuz I'm an American yeah

This is the voice I normally talk Caroline's got she's gonna sneak into the embassy they're gonna do it there and john jolt oh shit you're right that is a decoy and then all the sudden like minutes later the car that john's a alter is following pulls out its own like rockets that's going to shoot at a car and john jolt is like oh I got to blow this car up anyway it's it's just like why have that switch a really they give you the brilliant twist that this car is a decoy and then it's like they're

like uh... it's kind of better if the car is a bomb that he's gonna drive into the motor case of the town of the big that way yeah that that's a little just fizzle at the end i mean but let's not forget the only reason why they had the mannican in the car then is so that if john jol to saw it he would realize wait a minute the deco there is definitely a decoy because they made an effort

yeah put this man can make you think here's why i think he had the mannican because the motorcade was going to be in the carpool lane okay he's never going to be able to drive if i'm self-in that carpool lane i don't know the times i've been driving through Staten Island. People really don't pay that close attention to this. This is rare. It's totally different. Oh, yeah. They're pretty strict about the H.O.V. Lage. Oh, yeah. Well, you saw a strict they were about

John Dervol to bringing soda into the country. Well, it wasn't technically soda. It was an energy drink. That's true. Oh, man. The brilliant scene when we got to know John Dervol to. We're introduced to John Dervol to he's held up at customs because he has cans of an energy drink with him that the French won't let him bring in for who knows what reason and he Like energy well they are very lack of days ago people But he and he is arguing with them and he's a big asshole and he's supposed to come off I guess is like says what he feels you know no nonsense American you know tough guy, but he just comes off as a jerk. And then it turns out that the cans all have gun parts in them, you know, that he assembles.

Because he has to sneak his own gun in, because John Travolta loves his own gun. And even though he uses a hundred different guns. I mean, he is, I mean, he is, I wouldn't say a mass murderer, but he's killed many, many people. He probably has some kind of psychosis that's faced around his instrument of killing. Yeah, it's really ritualized at this point. Well, that's the thing.

A knife made out of blue glass, like in that. In, I know who killed me. Well, you don't see the parts, they cut out the scenes where after each of the kills, he goes back later and masturbates at the scene of the crime. Sure. Just as easy as a psychosocial connection to the scene. Why do you think they cut that out for the movie?

Because it doubled the length of the movie. It would have made this a three out of the gun. Well because after a while, I mean he's turned on but it's still like, oh this is kind of hard work to get this out. Also the studio notes thought that made him a little too unlikable. It made a cut scene. Kind of strange, I don't know what. hard work to get this out. Also the studio notes thought that made him a little too unlikable. I'm going to cut that. Kind of strange, I don't know what. That custom scene angered me at the time, but now thinking

of it and registering it angers me all the more. Is it because of your part time job as a customs agent? It's so hard and people don't realize, I'm not trying to be a jerk. It's just my job, you fools. And this economy, I can't get it. Safety, it's for safety. Yeah. this is a movie that thinks it is like Dan Dan you were saying it thinks it's like a more amped up action version of like the in-laws like like a

mismatched buddy comedy action movie, but that's a little harder edge But instead it's just like unlikeable people doing stupid things. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny.

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And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And an action movie funny. And Like this moving right itself. This movie night and day that's out right now like that seems like it's way to date the way to date reviews Yeah, people are gonna be listening to it from just 20 years from now. I all man. That took me out of it Yeah, I mean it was up to date with that. We were talking about from Paris with love Yeah, but like this movie night and day is getting the 20th anniversary of it from Paris with love. That's why they're watching it Gathering in Paris a night and, the cold-porder story. People, like, it's getting terrible reviews, but it seems like that's also trying to do the same thing where like, oh, there's this crazy secret agent and you don't know whether they're crazy or not. Like, if this movie had actually played that up a little bit more,

is that the one where one of the characters named assault? Yeah, that's the Angelina Magoli. Okay, because I'm wondering what the fuck this shit's all about. Salt. That's she's a woman who apparently is a sleeper Russian agent, but she doesn't know it. Why do they name her salt then? Based on the book salt adaptation of the historical book salt the history of Iraq or whatever the only rock we eat or whatever It's a loose adaptation though. Okay. You and I were going for the same joke at the same time Well, how many fucking jokes are there about the net the word salt? It's based on the strategic arms limitation treating Yes, but I still think it's a little less a tarot I think that most people would have gone from that joke well

I still think it's a little less a tarot. I think most people would have gone over that joke. Well, so yeah, we're talking about Jonathan Tervolta. Well, by my big eyes, right? I'm your dark mirror, Dan. That's why we went for the same joke, because I'm your dark mirror. Your success is a constant rebuke to me. We're making some good progress tonight.

So Jonathan Tervolta. From Paris Conve. Credit be likeable. Yes. Very unlikeable. He is, yeah, he's supposed to be like an outrageous character, but instead he just comes off as a douche. Well, I see.

I mean, I'm, you know, this may be an insensitive joke to make, but he, as I said, he looks like Steve Gutenberg at the beginning of Don't Teller, it's me when he's like all bloated from chemotherapy. Like he doesn't look like an action star. He's like a little offensive. I mean, that character had Hodgkin's disease, Dan, and there affects a lot of people. Well, and Don't Teller, it's me was a sensitive treatment.

Oh, yeah. The trial's in tribulations. I mean, the animated title sequence where he goes through his cancer treatment is particularly sensitive, yeah. I found it kind of touching in to helped me get through some tough times. I'm just saying that John Travolta looks like a Ziggy sort of character in this film that's, I suppose that's fair. I mean Wallace Sean is a Ziggy sort of character.

I think that's been a stab. No, the guy's remind you of that, because Galker knows. No, he is, he does not, and they could have played off the fact that he doesn't look like an action star, but instead they just take it for granted that you think he is he does not and they could have played off the fact that he doesn't look like an action star Mm-hmm. Instead they just take it for granted that you think he is a super badass from moment one and they he's got all the things that say super bad As he's bald he's doing he's got he's got an earring that looks like a napkin ring hanging out of his ear Visibly sweating for most You know what I'm looking as far ahead of pieces of cheese

And you know what I'm like in life in his part had the pieces of cheese Before devouring them possibly biting his fingers Not even realizing it. Yeah, I mean what I what I really liked about his character those he really felt like Like we're just interrupting part of this person's life Existed for years before and beyond the frame and he's gonna continue. Oh yeah, there's a lot of it very felt very real this movie. Like we just took a little page, paged out of his part of his diary. A lot of biography. Wax. Oh yeah, there's last name. What's the name Sam Wax? I don't I think you're confusing him with the character of Sam Axe from Bern notice. Bruce Campbell is character.

I don't think that's the case. But his last name is Wax. It was like Charlie Wax. They call me Mr. Wax. This is called the House of Wax. Because where he's also a crazed killer. Oh no, that, yeah. Oh okay, I thought you were talking about Tyler Perry's house of pain for a second.

Tyler Perry's house. I like Mediah's, Tyler Perry's Mediah's house of wax. Yeah, I don't remember what we're getting. Mediah was hardly, Mediah was hardly scarred in a fire at her wax museum and now she's going, going for revenge. Sure, that makes sense. And is there like portals to other dimensions in the basement? Yes, because it's the wax works also. Yeah. It's kind of odd. I don't know why I should have that.

And it's the discovery of television among the bees. Anybody? Anyone know that movie? Wax or discovery. Okay. Well, independent film. Really 90s. I don't watch a lot of movies. Unless they're the multi-fifth. Well, you made the point, Stuart, that you still haven't seen Toy Story 3 yet, and yet you're sitting watching from Paris with love. Sure. So, uh, what a crime. John Travolta doesn't bring his pant and John Travolta charm to this particular project.

He does a lot of the things that John Travolta does when he's not charming, though, which is talk as if he's really cool and laugh really loudly and you know what a shouting yeah a lot of shouting he does he laughs he does kind of what Ray Liotta does when Ray Liotta laughs in movies where he laughs really loudly with his mouth wide open as if he's shooting laughs at you from out of his mouth out out yeah exactly really the stuff he's funny things are funny stuff being amused. And this is also movie where

John Travolta, it's, it's like a very bad James Bond movie that he has a number of high tech devices, which appear in his hands as if from some pocket dimension. And then he uses them once and never again, you know, he has a watch that he can use to come to send coordinates to a satellite that goes to the u.s. and they can track things and he is at once and then it's like well i've there's no reason to use this every and then the watch is taken from a one point he doesn't try to get it back and and and the one is a watch that's a later on he has that bazooka and he shoots at once and

that's it like he doesn't bazook anything else there's really nothing left for him to the book of the zoo could that terror is that he's shooting random cars that or people it wasn't me it wasn't really where you would be a good job you wonder where at what point john jolton's character will snap and just hurt shooting people at random

well i was i mean i think technically kind of was people random i was kind of lucky that they were all they were all villains john revolted and bring his charm But Jonathan Reese Myers of course made up for it. Oh, right in spades. Oh, yeah, oh in David spades Which is in a sort of what is a some base? Is a go T look like yeah, he has a tiny go T an terrible American accent and he and there are things that and John the reason is can be incredibly charming and and charismatic in movies and television shows magazines and magazines that this was I was wondering where I because when he the first time I really saw him spyrographs yeah was in the television production of gorman guest where he is great as

steer pike the kind of like cunning rogue who is playing members of this royal family off of each other. And the home movie you're wondering like, where's the guy who is interesting and likeable, even when he's doing unlikable things? Like, what happened to that Jonathan Riesmeyer? Well, there's that great bit of like physical comedy at the beginning when he's trying to stick the listening device inside the French, it's like the French presidents.

French minister of plot devices. Yeah, he's trying to stick that listening device under the guy's desk. Yeah, and it just won't stick. Yeah, he tries using gum, which of course in spy school is the first thing you learn is that you should use gum to stick listening. Is that gum is sticky? And then, and it keeps falling on the floor. It has like cough and like drop things and make up stories. Oh man, it stick listening. Is that gum is sticky. And then, and it keeps falling on the floor. It has like cough and like drop things and makeup stories.

Oh man, it's hilarious. Oh, and the whole time the music is like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It's a dumb mother. And then there's that great bit when he goes home to meet his girlfriend or fiance who turns out to be a... A terrorist spot. A super terrorist that's working along con. And he gets home and he's... Apparently just to get some credentials, by the way. Eventually like that.

To get credentials once. Yeah. For one thing. You could have just lifted from him. Say, like you could have employed a few pick pockets, you know, and lift creditors from various people. Just beat him up, just beat him up and take his credentials and leave him somewhere.

I mean, it was six years. What if he got transferred or lost his job? That's a good part. Six years before, how do they know that he was gonna be assigned to this particular job? How did they know there was gonna be some sort of conference of African nations? Wouldn't there have been a more important thing?

And like, wouldn't there have been something before then for a more important official? I mean like, more important, say older official who would not look a gift young attractive fiance in the mouse. Now, I think you're more woman than mouse. Mouse. Is that a fucking dirty word for a woman's thing? Her face? Yeah, you were saying? OK.

You're being offensive. Yeah, I'm just a whole offender right now. But it is, I think, for six years, the American Embassy has been planning big events. And terrorists have been about to stop them, and then they've been called off for the weather, or people couldn't make it, or they booked the hall on the wrong day, and they couldn't get the people in.

So for six years, she's had to pretend to be in love with him, you know. That would have been a good idea. Because they keep changing plans. If it's told from her terrorist boss and like objecting to this plan. I cannot stand this guy. Please, no, no, you'll stay with him. And then like, and then she's like sitting there at the table while he picks his teeth with his knife and she's like, Oh God, I got to stay with this oaf. Yep.

I like that movie. A lot of farting in bed. Nothing but farting in bed. That's what the movie's called farting in bed. The terrorist. I like this movie. nothing but farting in bed. That's what the movie's called. Farting in bed. The terrorist. I'm scared. I like this movie.

And then the poster can be, it's a parody of the man I'm like poster that says F-I-B. Oh, I'm afraid you're taking farting in bed. Hell yeah. This is just a poster. This is just the poster. Oh, God. It's still up.

They'll think it's a movie ad campaign. They'll think it's a movie ad campaign. They'll think it's a movie called Fib about lying. No, that's what the kids are called to be cool. You know, see Fib again? Yeah, I've seen it 10 times. I love Fib. Hmm. This is going to say- I think you're presuming a lot about the audience's reaction to it.

I think it's more of a movie that they see once and they're like, that's pretty good. I might see it again. No, no, no. They're going to see it over and over again, because here's why multiple endings. You never know which one you're going to get when you go it again. No, no, no, they're gonna see it over and over again because here's why multiple endings. You never know which one you're gonna get when you go to the theater. Okay, okay, I'll write a star.

Okay, Tim Curry to star, that's gonna be odd. Isn't he dead? No, he's still alive. Probably doing, like I mean, last we saw him was on Broadway in Spam a lot. I think the last I saw him was as the villain in Mikhail's Navy, but I Made he's he's done other things

Okay, you just admitted watching Mikhail's Navy. That's how how was I not gonna watch it? All-star cast headed by Tom Arnold's come on Based on a show I've never seen Of course I was gonna watch that that's the one with Kelsey grammar, right? No, that's down periscope, which I have also seen What's the one with Kelsey Grammar, right? No, that's down Periscope, which I have also seen. With all start cast. It's all started. It's all started. Yeah, all start cast of Kelsey Grammar and Lauren Holley.

How could they not carry a film? To that, I would say up Periscope. Oh, man. Good stuff. Kelsey Grammar just looks like a submarine captain. He looks, yeah, well, I guess. I mean, I don't know what you're basing that off of. Well he's currently appearing in my book famous submarine captain. He's currently appearing in La Caja Fol on Broadway and they had to rewrite the character to make him a submarine captain. Because nobody believed him any other way.

Yeah. That's why you remember that line in X-Men 3 when they're like Professor McCoy we need your help Because you were on a submarine Yes, I was the captain and then they just added that in in the comics Not a submarine captain. Oh, cuz I thought that was all ad lib like it was one of those things where they just threw it out there like That was the best take that was the funniest take They were looking for the funniest take for X-Men 3 Yeah, you know, you know you'll get up a little yeah they're you know riffin doing some riffs riff them up CGI CGI that's the same type of riffs don't worry we'll pump up these riffs

and post with CGI that sounds good we'll get Peter Jackson to work on it guys do we have more to say about this? I don't know. It's a dumb movie. It's a very dumb movie. It is. I mean, it's really stupid. It is.

I mean, it's really stupid. It is. I mean, it's really stupid. It is. I mean, it's really stupid. It is. I mean, it's really stupid. It is really stupid.

It is really stupid. It is really stupid. It is really stupid. There are more exciting action treats out there. That's true. And one's where you can actually parse the plot. Which is a big problem. Yeah, your problem was based on that you just didn't like you could figure out a problem. Well, you're presupposing that there's a lot of problems. I didn't like the characters, but also I didn't understand the plot. And I didn't understand what characters were supposed to be wanting from moment to moment. Oh, okay.

Even in the stupidest action films, I like people's motivations are are usually very clear and here there's no sense of even what like the fake uh... you know like mission was supposed to be before got like wacky they've even made a clear why john thirmish mires wants to be a secret agent that's really interesting that i was your problem because my problem with the movie was that there was only terrible well that there was only one scene where a woman gets shot in the head and slow motion normally there needs to be like

for five people like a movie there was one scene where a woman is shot in the head and slow motion and one where she's shot in the head in regular speed uh... still i don't know if i saw that part was on the bathroom no you saw that okay that was probably laughing and pumping with his shouting awesome. I think you did actually. You started screaming USA USA. That's what happens. I'm blowing a voozela. That's going to date this podcast of anything. Oh yeah. World Cup references. Sure. I bet our fans are huge world cup fans. sports fans the Blav has listeners. Well, I

This dig yourself out of this whole McCoy In the US soccer is the nerd of sports. So I would imagine that our fans Curling or they're like you're're just getting competitive Nintendo playing something. You're just going like silly. I'm saying like of the sports. I think that soccer is like team sports. Yeah, I'm I would say the soccer is likely this golf is pretty nerd hands. Listen to listen to listen to you on the radio. Although you have to do like to check your just turn on WFA and listen to the soccer play by play. Yeah. See how the New York Cosmos are doing. It's not even their name.

I mean, they was 30 years ago when they played. Anyway, so let's give our final judgments on this this fucking thing to recap the judgment. I don't know that we ever have to that we have to keep explaining the scale of judges' every time. Is it a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you actually kind of liked? Ellie, what do you have to say? I would call this a bad bad movie.

And there were times I wanted to turn it into a movie I kind of liked because it was so stupid, but it just doesn't, it fails to meet any other requirements even for being like one of them. There's like the movie tango and cash I could watch over and over again. I love that movie. It's so funny It's so dumb. It's so amazingly stupid and like the most fun way and this was I was hoping this would be like that But it wasn't yeah, it's true. This Was the best movie I've ever seen

uh... was the best movie i've ever seen uh... uh... it's a afternoon i had a guy's going there for a second now this movie is terrible uh... it was very slow uh... the action scenes were shot really poorly so that because they were trying so hard around john jenny yeah they're trying so hard to make john devolta seem tough and competent

and uh...'s really boring. Yeah I'm with you guys like it's like I went through like the stages of grief with this movie because like at the beginning I was like I was like yeah this could be it this could be a movie I actually kind of enjoy like I can see it's stupid but I could enjoy it in a stupid way and then I was like moving on and I'm like oh this movie is terrible but it's moving along like this guy knows what he's doing is a bad bad bad good bad movie like that would be denial or it yeah and then at the end I was like oh no this movie is a mess nothing makes any sense I hate our main characters yeah and but I think by the end they were like you were tearing your hair and

smearing ashes on your face well you you guys ever seen that scene about two thirds of way through event horizon where Samuel rips his own eyes out yeah sure cuz where he's going you won't need them your hair and smearing ashes on your face. Well, you guys have ever seen that scene about two thirds of the way through Event Horizon, where Samuel rips his own eyes out? Yeah, sure. Because where he's going, you won't need them anymore, I think. Yeah, just like the end of Back to the Future. No, he's saying we won't need eyes. He says that.

I think he does say something like that. Yeah. It's a really awesome scene. Yeah. So guys, the fact that this movie made me want to watch Event Horizon more than watching it is making his statement Event horizon is like

To one third of a good movie. Yeah as in moments. No good. I would go with that one third It's got Larry Fishburn in it. It's got that so Jonathan Travolta and Larry Fishburn And Sammy Neal. I think that's how he goes on. Memoirs of an invisible man. That's what he's referred to as. Sammy Neal. Sammy Neal.

I don't have letters per se. But if you have, I like letters. I have this. Oh, Dan, put that away. away all right I'll put that away and I'll take out this which is no that's even worse all right radio comedy we need more sound of it open that closet fibra McGee crash thanks falling Thanks, Paulie. Like, the way... Left, left, body shaking. Lazy Santa Fe's good. Just rattle a bunch of things.

No, what I do have is eagle-eyed flop house... Eagle-eyed cherry. Matt Lesname with the... Eagle-eyed the Shyla buff movie. Okay. Eagle-eyed flop house fan fan Matt last name withheld sent in a link to an article about a new friendlies product. Oh, on the internet?

Yeah, on the internet saying that you should sue Stewart and the link was to a new burger that they have where the bun is to real cheese sandwiches. Now, Flophouse fans will recognize this as one of Stu's unemployment suicide treats. I wish there was an asterisk that would go to a yellow box that would say, Stu mentioned this sandwich

in a whatever episode that was. Well, that's a thing. Pop up flop. Yeah, and then over like dash, dash, smile and stand, you know, you know, I You know old ed You know, it's like those Marvel box. Yeah, the I mean This news probably wouldn't hurt my feeling so badly if they just named it after me, you know like Well, you don't want to call it? The books of Dealer. The sandwich Wellington? Yeah, or like steward Wellington rules

or something like that? The sandwich. Well, yeah, I mean, it would be colon the sandwich. No, not the word colon, that's a weird thing. That's not very advertised. That's some rules would be spelled to the Z. Yeah. Sturder Wellington rules, yeah.

But my name would be spelled correctly. So if you need that information, friendlies, you can call me. Well, I know that you sent friendlies this proposal. So I just hope you also sent yourself a copy so it would be postmarked. No, see the problem was I didn't send it to him. I drew it on the back of a friendlies place man. Uh, that means it's their intellectual property. I think so right yeah, I wrote TM and shit Stewart Wellington TM But that like they just like you were on teams to are wellington. Oh Yeah, I did write TEM after Stewart Wellington so And then you drew the uniforms for what the Steve Stewart Wellington teammates would wear yep all with all Unicorn well, that was the thing it was all uniforms and then giant male genitalia.

All over the place. Well, they're not making these hamburgers out of giant male genitalia then. Well, I mean, I presume not. That would be kind of like, I would think that'd be more expensive than what they're probably using. Yeah, probably low grade crappy beef is more expensive than human penises.

They could advertise it as an aphrodisiac though. Sure. Yeah, because friendlies is what you want to get a girl in the mood. You take her down to friendlies. What, it's a very friendly point. Listen, babe. I mean, you have a sub-side down ice cream cone with M&M eyes. And then we're going to get busy back at the motel.

It's slowly. All right. Not too slowly because it'll melt. And while she's eating the Stewart team, I have a DJI penis burger. You can eat one of their variety of new salads, which are all a delivery system for fried chicken and cheese. So enjoy that.

All right. Well, that was good fun guys. Yep. Like all that sketch, friendlies with benefits. Well, that's what it would be if there was like chapters that we broke our thing in tape. Hey, I think you do that on the little website. Friendlies with benefits.

That's notes for you. In which are three heroes, discuss an interesting restaurant proposal? Okay, well, not zeros, right? Not one. Heroes. Okay, that makes from zeros to heroes. Hercules. In stores now. Chirros? In stores now is the percules that had not been in stores for the past seven years. Oh, but it's accurate. I mean, it's still a story. It may not be Disney

may have pulled it by now. It may be back in the Disney Vault. Yeah. With Song of the South. And that John Henry cartoon that never got released. It is racist against Greek gods. But, okay, what I want to do now is talk about a new flop house contest. One that for once is well defined. Like, Elliot's abs. Oh, yeah. Why call them asituation? Yeah, so we would like to get more reviews on iTunes, and we would like to get them all at once

so that iTunes stands up and takes notice as if it was a person rather than a thing. iTunes suddenly takes the cigar out of its mouth and swings its feet off the desk and go, what's going on over here? And that's a garage made of $100 bills. Yes, because that's, you get the most pleasing smoke. And that's a guy's $100 bills. Yes, because that's you get the most pleasing smoke. So here's the deal. $100 bills. So sealed with baby tears. Guys,

I'm trying to now try to explain the actual mechanics of this. We want to get iTunes reviews. Alright, yes. Here's the deal. If you write a review of the flop house on iTunes before, on or before August the 1st. You are automatically entered into this contest. You know, it does not have to be a good review of our show. Obviously, we would prefer that, but I don't want iTunes to think that we're bribing you. But if it's a negative review, just make sure it's like, it gives us some real critique that we can work on

We can not just like these guys so All in capitals. Yeah, explanation by explanation point again. We would prefer a positive review, but any review any fair review I'm I think you're real opinion Except for that one listener who said we were not her type of attractive. Yeah, yeah I don't care for that one listener who said we were not her type of attractive. Yeah, I don't care for that. Listen, we all landed some beautiful ladies and it's not because we're under all of them. After we recorded that podcast,

we were all looking in the mirror for like an hour talking about all of our imperfections. And that's not cool because that's what makes us you know beautiful is our imperfections. We're looking at a circus mirror so you don't want to give us a body this morphic disorder I mean come on. Yeah, but um, LA it was having trouble eating remember. Well yeah that's because I couldn't. I couldn't get the top off of the bucket. I'm ginger. I'm a virgin. Merge mentioned GERGE anyway, and stand and learn Man you're on a roll though. Keep it up. I We're over here talking about one thing and Dan's over there talking about made up words

What's the rubble got no webster over here? Get in review before on iTunes before august the first uh... on our before august the first and you are automatically entered to win it will be randomly selected from those who do review us on itunes and the prize oh my god the prize so great a great prize you get to write in and tell us what movie you want to talk about on episode of the flop house and it does not have to be a new movie

any movie no move so long it is as it is readily available on Netflix we can we can put our hot little hands on it we can't if you mention no rules the lost or now film for devils we can't do it does exist anymore if you mentioned the never made marksworthers film a day at the UN we can't do it because it was not done the day the Crown Crown cried can't do the day the Crown cried none of the famous lost or unmade films any film that is available on Netflix that you can do any home movies you made yourself and let's send them to us and do we have any copies of stall left that we can do it ourselves. And let's send them to us. And do we have any copies of Stahl left that we can draw?

Yeah, we'll sweeten the deal with a copy of Stahl with our, John Hancock, our Slop House commentary on it. And so get those reviews in, friends. Please do, won't you? So now comes to the time when we recommend a movie. Sure. And you might like to watch instead of from Paris with love. Stuart, you look like you've got one queued up.

So guys, a couple of days ago, I watched a movie called The Human Santa Feet. What's the deal there, man? The human-sentipede first sequence. Yeah, thank you. What's the deal there? I mean, so it's a movie about a bunch of people who get so together. This is right on the edition, are you trying out your tight five minutes on human-sentipede before the tomorrow's open night

Open night night. Yeah, yeah, so if you guys you heard about this anybody heard about this human centipede Yes, do it. Wow. That was your Kevin you banks. So yeah, watch this movie To be honest, I was a little disappointed guys honest, I would like to be human centipede Well, I mean, this is your recommend date. We were talking about the human centipede, and I would say that if we were made into one of those, I think Danny B probably in the middle. I think it's the worst place to be.

We get all the great Dan is in the middle. And he would not want to be the middle. He's what holds the centipede together. That is the terrible thing. That's true, just like in the podcast. Just like in the podcast. I would, I would make a good fortune hero I would argue that I would make a good total of having all the turtles to have you that is the worst

I think I make a good front I think I make the best front uh because I could best articulate the needs of the centipede the thing is I'd like to be the public face of the same I would argue against it because LA you have a diet that's based primarily around chicken fried chicken not just fried chicken. I'm roasted also grilled and but I don't think you're arguing for someone with a more healthy balance diet. Yeah, so that we'll get enough nutrition. That's what I'm arguing and I eat better. I would also I would also put on the table I'd be willing to get some kind of a bazooka Joe style comic strip tattooed on my lower back

So I mean in addition to the one I already had so the person behind you would have something to eat yeah I think that's fair that put me stuck in the back eating two people's real I don't want That's two people So it turns back into food the second time. I don't want to do that. That's two people. That's why it turns back into food the second time. I don't think so. I think it is. It's like a double negative.

Two boobs make one good meal. No, think so. I wouldn't listen. Again, I don't want to be in the middle. I want to be able to kick my legs around or talk. I mean, the movie is kicking their legs around. People's tendons are being severed. Yeah, you can't in the movie says you can't kick your legs

oh well then why it's not even really the whole thing about a centipede is the number of legs so yeah there's so watch in this movie you know i am gonna give i'm gonna give the movie a little bit of credit uh... the the the the the mad sign to sky pretty awesome uh... he he's totally over the top uh... but it wasn't nearly as gory as horror as Horrible's I kind of expected. I was a classy human centipede.

Well like, I don't know, I'm used to seeing like Stuart Gordon movies where every movie makes me want to throw up at least once, so I was, I was all disappointed that I didn't want to barf, but human centipede. So this is a recommendation. Yeah, I just want to talk about human centipede for a while. This is my fucking podcast dude, I'm not getting paid for the shit You're in a fair share of the podcast. Well, I mean that might I had my little part I'll buy you out then I could talk twice as much. I think you already do that a lit

Zing I'm gonna recommend a lot of house roast of the fluff house I'll recommend the documentary Joe's strummer, the future is unwritten. I'm a fan of the rock band, The Clash, and thus I was interested in a documentary about Joe Strummer. And Joe Strummer just seemed like, you know, like Joe Strummer has like not a great singing voice, but one of the like warmest, most lovable singing voices in rock. He's got a very distinctive, it's not a great singing voice but one of the warmest most lovable singing voices in rock. He's got a very distinctive, it's not a technically good singing voice but it is a... It's extremely expressive.

Yeah and it's expressive and charismatic. Yeah and even when he's being super aggressive, there's this warmth to it. And I think that the film bears that out. He seemed like a very, he seemed, you know, since he's passed on now, but he seemed like a lovable guy. I mean, like he did multiple ass-holish things in his life, but I don't think that any big rock star could become a big rock star without having some of that in them. But a little man named Bruce Springsteen, perhaps.

Sure. St. Bruce. Well, here is nice as putting by. All right. But what about King Diamond from Merciful Fate? He's got a pretty voice. OK. I don't know.

His. Kirk Hammett always seems like kind of a nice guy. I hear both successfully. Do you really like recommendation? But it's a good documentary. It's done in a style where it weaves in a lot of archival footage with new interviews but also with you know just stock footage from various things from the time like

movies that are unrelated. It has animations based on Joe Strummers sketches that he did, and it's sort of a kaleidoscopic style, but it doesn't overwhelm things. It doesn't feel like style for its own sake. It just seems very entertaining. So that's my recommendation. I haven't used kaleidoscopic in a review lately.

Well, I did, but I was reviewing the kaleidoscope. It's a very, I'm not. I mean, that's appropriate, I would do. It's a multi kaleidoscope. Yeah, it's actually not a good kaleidoscope either. There's a very I mean that's appropriate I would It's actually not a good glider scope either There's a negative review Okay, fair enough fails to be more than merely kaleidoscopic And that usage it's acceptable. Yeah, thank you

I would like to recommend a low budget I would like to recommend a low budget horror comedy film from the 60s called spider baby, which I don't know if you guys see it. I just saw it for the first time this past week. It's very fun. There's a family called the Mary family that has a strange syndrome where after a certain point, they just, their mental development goes backwards and they become like kids and then zombies. Basically, it just drives them crazy. It's just an excuse for people to be crazy. And this family is basically taking care of by the chauffeur Lawn Chainy senior in maybe his best performance.

Like, I've never been a big fan of, I'm sorry, Lawn Chainy Jr. I've never been a big fan of Lawn Cheney Jr. He's best known as the Wolfman, but in this he's really good and like, like kind of touching a lot of the time, like where you feel like he really cares about this family, but he doesn't want anything to happen to it,

but he knows they're crazy and they kill people. And there's two daughters, one of whom thinks she's a spider and is obsessed with spiders. There's cannibals in the basement. There's Sid Hague as the brother who's bald and can't really talk in his kind of evil weirdo. But like an innocent. And basically the family's last surviving cousins come by to, I guess, lay claim to the kids.

It's just one of those things where they're it's a very Bear legal pretext for these normal characters to wander into this crazy house But it's a lot of fun and it's very there's some good spooky moments and it's just like very it's like Pre camp camp where like it's not too over the top campy, but it's it's very tongue in cheek Well, I feel like there was this period in horror movies where like, I don't know, just things were allowed to be very silly and loose and strange. It feels like a movie that it's almost like if the monsters were allowed to kill people on the monsters.

Like, if the monsters with a goofy sitcom about vampires and Frank assigns monsters who actually murdered people, but we're still like a goofy family. That's what it's kind of like. But it was a lot of fun. And Lon Cheney Jr. sings the opening theme song, which is adorable. Yeah. I am planning a pitch now for the monsters that actually kill people. And I guess the title of the show, the monsters that actually

kill people. If I mean, I have no interest in writing a monster's movie. But if I was approached and they said we want to write a monster's movie, but you want to be extreme, right? The monsters actually kill people because they're monsters, I would say yes, sign me up. But they're still a family. They still have a son who goes to school.

They're still up, they still go to like PTA meetings and make jokes. You should get, you should get the guy who plays the guy in that show. Everybody loves Raymond to be the Franginstein. Oh, a Brad Garrett? Yeah, he'd be great in the Fred Gwynn part. Yeah, well, I think we've made our first million times. And we call it Monsters 3D. Done.

I like it. But it'd be in real D3D, right? Yeah, of course. We went up Convert. Yeah, it's not going to shoot in 2D and then be 3D Maybe even iMacs ideally All right, we'll sign on the data line. There was a movie with it 3D is completely unnecessary It would be the monster's movie. I don't know, you know

I don't Frank Frankenstein's would be be all Frankenstein and you and 3D Frankenstein and I, you know, and the and the and the grandpa wouldn't be the grandpa monster. He'd be the real life grandpa, Lewis, the socialist anarchist politician who also happened to, you know, be an actor, but you'll you'll ask me in your referencing, but that's okay. Really? Okay. So is the star of the monsters, you know what I didn't really pay attention to. And he's the star of the monsters and South Beach Academy, starting Corey Feldman and Corey Hayme. Oh, yeah.

Vampial Lewis is also in that in between the boobs. Okay, nice. So guys, from Paris with Love, this has been our audio postcard. Yeah, from Brooklyn with Love to you, the listeners. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm creeped out, Ellie Caelan.

Good night, everyone. Good night. would work it. What? The wood? The wood? The wood? The wood?

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