The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #67 - The Uninvited

Episode Date: October 16, 2010

0:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and SHOCKTOBER theme.0:40 - 35:46 - Turns out "The Uninvited" isn't a horror movie about an angry guest who didn't get invited to Elliott's wedding.  Instead, it's about ghosts or crazy people, or some shit.35:47- 39:13- Final judgments39:14 - 45:44- The sad bastards recommend. 45:45 - 46:39 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

a PG-13 remake of an Asian horror film, so as things never suck. In this episode, we discuss the uninvited. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm John Kingman. Yeah, we cannot get everyone together in to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm John Kingman. Yeah, we cannot get everyone together in a room anymore, guys. Why not? I mean, I don't know why I'm dressing as you. Yeah, you've never been in a room before.

No, but I don't know. I don't know. I think you walked into the wrong room, possibly. I was going for the downstairs, but the party sounded like it was happening up here. You went for the pop lock. Yeah. Yeah, Elliot, I don't know.

He got married and I guess he wants to spend time with his wife. Yeah. I don't really understand it. I think he's nervous that she's going to chase after him with a rolling pin or whatever wives do. That's why we got John in here, because John also just got married.

I think he got married even more recently than Elliot. Yeah, no kidding. And so we got him in here to prove that, you can still do a podcast. So this is kind of like an elaborate burn on, I mean, it's not even that elaborate. It's a little bit of a burn on Elliot. It doesn't actually help me though, because I can't go home tonight.

I've actually been kicked out of my apartment, but okay. Okay. Well, we didn't really prove anything. Well, I'm at proof that I could screw up your evening. That's true. Yeah, I'm approved that I could screw up your evening. That's true. Yeah, and possibly the listeners at home. So guys, Shocktober.

Yes. This is the second Shocktober episode. Is it? In my favorite month, Shocktober. I agree. Okay. And because, do you get money every time you plug Shocktober? Nike has some type of Shocktober related launch, right?

Sure, yeah. I'm not sure who owns the patent on Shocktober. I just know I get 75 cents every time I say that word. Yeah, I think, I think Stevie Ray Vaughn has Rocktober back then. Yeah. Cocktober? That's something else entirely. Mocktober.

It's for people who are allergic to October. Yeah. Right. Get mocktober burgers. So, what we're talking about October again. What do we do during this month? We watch horror movies with a slightly increased frequency than the rest of the year. Sure. And Apple picking. We also do Apple picking, but that's not based

on, that's not. We don't really talk about that during the really unrelated. Yeah. Yeah. Podcasts. We don't really cover that. I mean, maybe in a movie minute. Yeah. Yeah, not right now. So we watched a horror movie tonight. Yeah. A horror movie. Not a horror movie. No. That would have been something else. I would have enjoyed even much more. Yeah, sit around, a couple of dudes watch the movie about a bunch of horrors. With more awkward when your wife came home, we were just watching. Yeah. A horror movie. No. Horror mean. Yeah, that's true. She's probably seen worse. No, we watched a film called The Uninvited, which is an American remake of a Korean horror film by the name Atel2 Sisters.

Neither of them sound like horror movie names. No, neither do. I mean, I mean, I'm invited, I guess, sounds like, but I don't know what it would be about. Doesn't really clue you into what? No. I mean, I imagine like a house and somebody shouldn't be in the house. That's about as far as it really seems to go for me. It doesn't evoke much more.

Or it could be a movie about About what's your face? Lannis more set okay, and the writing of her hit song uninvited That was a hit song by a one more set. Yeah, I think the lyrics were and you you were not allowed You're uninvited. Is that off of a jagged little pill? This was this was after she was relevant. I just stopped following. Yeah. I imagine it would be a horror movie about a party of werewolves and one person turns up and they're not a werewolf and they weren't invited in the first place. That's like a great movie although I would call that movie Werewolf Party. Sure, I think you get more eyes, you get a bigger audience if you call the movie Werewolf Party.

With an exclamation point at the end? Yep. Yeah. The other invited, I mean, can you think of a Blander title for a movie? Ghost. Ghost was a pretty bland title. But it actually weirdly ended up being much more appropriate to the movie. Right. Yeah. Now think of life as we know it, starring Catherine Haigel.

That's a more mixed-scale. They put an exclamation point at the end of Ghost, turned it from Ghost to Ghost. Ghost! I think they would have been a much better movie. That's a very important point. I mean, people probably would have seen it. Yeah. It wouldn't have died a slow painful death of obscurity. They could have let what be Goldberg really let herself lose to her full comedic powers. Maybe the poster would have been her pointing at Patrick Swaisy's shouting ghosts in a word balloon. Man, you know what? I realized that we have fucked this up entirely because we introduced that John Kingman was here. we said nothing about him as a person

uh... so you want to rewind it now i just want i think that like before we get into the middle of the movie which we oddly enough haven't done it we've been dancing around the deep into the podcast we should say a few words about our guest host should we say or should i should i probably say something about your self-prob shouldn't do the Yeah, just to justify your existence. I am a what am I?

I am a comedy director. I have directed a variety of stage and video Committees as well as some industrial shorts for money. And what you weren't doing those industrial shorts for money. And- Wait, you weren't doing those industrial shorts for love? I proposed. There's a lot of love when you're trying to talk about like proper HR policies.

And I think that like, it really, you need to bring an artist's touch to that, but the paycheck of- An auto-work. 50 cents. Yeah. Yeah. And not tours. Direction.

You've done a lot of your work is readily available on UCB comedy dot com yes and the YouTube you can go there. I have a channel With my name on it and you and I that's been each other during is it like guys getting kicked in the nuts by little kids? Yes squirrels squirrels kicking people in the nuts. Sure, I'll watch that. My wife and I have a very funny cat and it does a lot of things that we just think are darling.

Insult comedy, is your cat doing insult comedy? I do voiceovers over the cat. Okay. It can't actually talk, so I had to lip sync over. You do like song mash him up, so it looks like the song's doing the singing. Yep. Like the song, the other cat. The other thing's doing the cat. Oh man. I got mixed up metaphysical. Yeah, yeah

Sometimes I just post Nas songs with the lyrics over them and then maybe like some inspirational pictures I hope I hope you bleep out all the oh yeah, that's not it's not family friendly We don't need to keep those types of F's and S's in over you and I met each other during the production of a show called video Gaga yes, yes that are mutual friends Sarah Schaefer now in Emmy winning and S's and S's. But you and I met each other during the production of a show called Video Gaga. Yes. Yes. That are mutual friends Sarah Schaefer, now an Emmy-winning writer. Yes.

Congratulations Sarah. We're here late night with Jimmy Fallon show. Woo. But yeah, it was a music video themed stage show. It was a variety show really, because also had like live guests That's a semi high-profile musical entertainment some dancing Can't in violation of cabaret laws yep. Yep. Yeah Okay, well, that's I think you've justified yourself. That's me you deserve to be here Okay, so now we can get back to the uninvited, which is a movie.

And in Ali, it's absence, I'll try and quickly synopsize. Okay. It begins with our heroine, other than I'm not doing it, our heroine played by Emily Browning, who was the elder sister and the limiting snippet series of unfortunate events movie. So she is getting out of a mental hospital for you, this troubled you, her mom had died, and that had made her troubled. In a mysterious fire, her mom had died in a house fire explosion combination

Yeah, and her father, which is how I want to go by the way Okay, it's a peaceful. I want to go in the biggest explosion you can so like when when you're getting old and like it looks terminal I should just come to your place and you know just You know open up all the gas lines. Yeah, I mean, I want you to set it up like a mouse trap thing I don't want you to like just throw a stick of dynamite at me. That'd be stupid. That'd be... You get in trouble. Do you want some type of like, rude Goldberg device that goes around the room so you can watch all of the pieces fall into place before you die?

Yeah, I want to be like, oh, okay, I like this. Oh, I didn't realize that frying pan could do that. Things like that. Yeah. And then when I die, I want to be like clapping. Because I get blown off into the neither world. OK. It's going to be an egg that falls onto a hot plate.

Yep. And it has to cook to a certain point. And then pretty sure you need a mouse running on a treadmill at some part in that. You need some kind of a live animal. Yeah. It's like a scared chicken. So it shits out an egg. I can't only to burn through a

string I'm sure this is we're this is just the beginning of Peewee's big adventure yeah I'm invited was clearly a very good movie all right all the to get back to it her dad played by David Strathane famed John Sales, Faith, David Strathane. I don't even know if I'm saying his last name correctly. Strathane? Straight Thorn? Strathane? I don't know.

Jason Statham. What about Jason Statham? There's the father in the movie. So, is that it was a stretch form? Yeah, I didn't see a bald man in this role. He did a really good job as a car chasing and the part where he fought the two giants In the bar. Yeah, the two giant. I guess they looked Eastern European guys

Yeah, and he covered himself in some kind of butter or something. Yep, so they couldn't grab his body It was really impressive. So I think his heart had died. So he only had like a knife battery keeping him They have a Hong Kong cocktail right So what happened is the blue brown comes home uh... she finds that her dead mother has been usurped sure by uh... stepmother played by elizabeth banks uh... known as a comic actress here in a street rule

uh... as the evil stepmother uh... now this is this woman was uh... her mom's nurse who then stepped in. Once her mom died to take her place. That's how you get the moniker stepmother too, right? Like you step into the place of the original mom over the dead core of the streets. Right, two. Three days. So that happened. And so Emily Browning and her sister played by some girl who's in John Tucker Must Die, hang out together, complaining about this new bitch who's entered their lives.

And there's a bunch of shit, there's a shit lot of ghosts hanging around. Yeah, I mean, it's fucking ghost central. Her mom appears as a ghost. There's more kids, because kids make the best ghost. Three creepy kids. Three creepy kids, two brothers and a girl who looks like these. You assume they're brothers? You don't know their brothers right off the bat. They just have matching outfits.

Yeah, I mean, but they don't like say anything like, hey, this is my ghost brother. No, no, they might just do their shopping at LLB. Both of them. Yeah, I mean, it's a normal thing. Yeah, I mean, they could be just really good friends with the same taste and clothes. All right, everybody likes a blue Oxford

and some khaki pants. I don't think that that's like, they looked a little bit like pilgrims. Yeah, no, they were like pilgrim kids. That's why I was wondering was it was this movie about pilgrims, but it wasn't. Yeah, no, I think that I think that those kids probably just got killed on their way to production of the crucible like a sure play. I thought it was Blair Witch to step up to the streets. Okay, so I got confused. Yeah, halfway through the middle. Sure, no, they're confusing because Dan said we're going to watch that. Yeah.

I remember you got excited. Then you went to the bathroom when he made the decision that we're going to watch the end of the game. Well, he went to the bathroom and went up while I explained that movie doesn't exist. But I came out very excited. Yeah. So we don't want to say anything because you were so excited. So yeah, there's a bunch of ghost stuff going on, the, like, the mom was like- I was just an anagin. So mom's pointing at Elizabeth Banks when she was pointing at the window saying murder. Yeah, I mean, that must have been some kind of like thing where our brain kind of finishes

the word, right? Sure, right. Where I might have gone back to the bathroom. Okay. I went to the bathroom a lot tonight. Yeah, and this probably have a bladder infection. I don't think so, it just hurts a lot, but I think it's fine. It's like a bladder infection.

Well, I'm not going to go to a doctor, so let's just... I mean, you just got married, so you probably just got a new piercing down there. Yeah, because, I mean, that's how you keep your wife, right? That's how you... That's how you get a wife. Oh, okay. I don't know if you've been through an engagement process. I have, but no.

Watch the movie a very long engagement. It'll teach you everything about the piercings. Okay, cool. And the other marital aids. That's actually really good advice listeners. You should write that down. And then email it to me. What? Well, they have to write it down in an email. I don't know. I've been in a paper, Dan. I'm doing a podcast. I don't know why you're making the list. I'm writing down to your personal assistance. At stewardatthoflophouse.edu.

No, that's not. It's madameymail that exists. So I didn't realize the flop house was an accredited institution of higher learning. It was an educational. It's a primarily educational mission. I had no idea. I just thought it was movie reviews. So you learned something.

Yeah, that's cool. So by the end of the movie, the two girls, the titular sisters, if this was the Korean version, which it isn't, but the two sisters decide that they think that Elizabeth Banks has killed three children. And their mom. And their mom more importantly. And probably there's dude Matt. Yeah, we didn't even mention Emily Browning's bow or possible bow. Like the most awesome guy in the world, I think. Yeah, he's a hunk.

Yeah. A beef cake a little bit. Yeah. Really, like, really cool, dude. But the, yeah, and kind of really down to earth, you know? Like, he drives his cool speedboat around. Got like a boat. He delivers groceries.

He works in this really dark store room. Got some cargo shorts, or maybe they're like cargo pants that are just rolled up to short lengths. It's a it looks really good. Yeah, no, he's always around water and water can get on your pants. Yeah, the point is the girls become convinced that Elizabeth Banks is this black widow character who what she does is she moves in like a stepfather. Yeah, like she's a nurse, and then she moves in, she kills off people, and their proof of this is they, like these three children that died, who have been pointed to by these ghostly apparitions,

like the main character finds their graves and then Googles their names, and she finds a photo of all of them and The mother who was murdered who was murdered of these children is wearing a pearl necklace Yeah, a literal pearl necklace Not there's no It's not a jacket. No, I'm sorry So she's wearing a pearl necklace that Elizabeth Banks also has a pearl necklace of the exact same making model. Which was pretty coincidental if you think about it.

They had the exact same looking. It's crazy that two women would have a pearl necklace. A really uncommon type of necklace. Yeah, and some of you tried to give that pearl necklace is the key point of evidence, right? It's this unique no one else in the world has a pearl necklace at all that looks even kind of like this. Yeah. They're strange. The pearls. Yep. Well, that's how they do because usually it's either a one strand or a two strand. I wasn't aware was unaware pearl necklace this had three individual strands never by sealing yeah yeah there's no way so at the end of

the movie oh Jesus can we do you guys do spoilers I always do what we do yeah I'll give a shit why don't you why don't you tell the big shocking reveal yeah okay so the whole movie you think Elizabeth Banks is this crazy murderer. This ghost keeps showing up to tell our main character that, you know, she's got to get out, she's next, she's going to get murdered next. And then it all turns out that she has been imagining that her sister's there. Her sister's been a figment of her imagination because she accidentally killed her sister and her mom

and then went crazy and then killed is that banks and this dude that uh... it was her all along she was the killer are narrator was a crazy person has a reliable narrator so the real reveal is that Elizabeth banks is an a murderer she's just a bit she's just a shitty stepmom. She, I think she dug her own grave to be honest here guys. I mean, she was trying hard. What about the pork roast, man?

I can't remember what the actress's name is. The main character, Emily Browning. Emily Browning knocks over a pot roast and Elizabeth Banks comes in and she throws a whole bitch fit about... That was an important dinner party. It was a very nice dinner party. The local one. Very dinner was probably there. Like maybe, maybe not the mayor, but maybe the controller.

Maybe an assistant. Maybe an astronaut. Definitely an astronaut. I think I saw Buzz Aldrin in the background. Oh no, shit. And it's easy than that guy for everything. He needs some money. I think he's, you don't get a lot of money going his face. He should have brought back more moon gold. Yeah.

That's what I would say. There was plenty of room on the shuttle. Yeah I mean it was fucking probably empty. Did you just brought that fuel to get up there? They didn't have to use it to get back. Yeah. Uh so um so I don't know about you you guys i was a little frustrated because i don't really like it when a movie uh... where you think one thing and then whoop whoop they switch it up on you and it turns out that this ghost thing probably never happened they just threw that in there for you get scared uh... because i mean

all of the you think there was actually a ghost you think there's ghost i think that she was crazy although i will know what you think there was actually a ghost you think there's ghost i think that she was crazy the whole of i will know what i was gonna say is like crazy for ghost that i hated leek of a co-op that that that that that i like best i would say the thing i hate at least by the movie was actually the twist okay the twist i felt like they played fair i mean like at the beginning of

the movie they set up this is a crazy person being released from her crazy person hospital And so why should we believe that anything that she thinks is the case, you know like they do the whole sixth thing where The sister is never addressed directly by anyone other than our main character and they're never like She's never looked at that. That's fine. All that is like all that has been played You know pretty fair and you know a better movie, in a better movie, I think it would be a genuinely creepy ending where you're like, oh man, I invested all my feelings in this person

and now they're a horror murderer. Well, because you went into a thing you was going to be a ghost story, but it was actually a murderer story. Well, I guess, yeah, to slash him up. Yeah. At that point, that's where they really where they really lose the audience or at least this audience, which is that they didn't invest anything in the main character. Like she's not a person, she's just a cardboard cut out walking through scenes,

expositing, expositing? Well, the shittiness of the movie before the twist right you know fails the twist i think it is uh... like uh... it's a modern horror movie and modern horror movies have this sense that if they don't keep you constantly scared that you're not you're gonna get bored walk away from the movie like within the first five minutes you need to see a corpse falling out of a garbage bag right what you do yeah in this movie you need to see blood shooting out of a lock. This movie starts out, we should say with a crazy dream sequence that had Stuart being

like, what the fuck is, what the fuck, what kind of movie is this? That's actually an incredible impression of me, damn. That was my first love voice as low as yours, but yeah, that's true. But yeah, I was confused. I was like, what am I watching? We're saddened. There's who are these people, where we at? Or what season is this?

Well, and if it was like, Why are there so many bikinis? If it was a Friday the 13th sort of scenario, that first five minutes, one of those characters, whoever we were watching would have been murdered by the bad guy, and then that would propel us into the world of this terrible thing. But instead it was just a dream sequence filled with red herring.

Yeah, and here's some unrelated scare moments. I mean, the thing is, once you go through the movie, yes, they kind of tie up together. But as just a narrative device, it's irritating to just start off with like, okay, well, here's a bunch of unrelated money shots that then are gonna immediately be revealed as sort of a relevant right at the bed and What uh what I mean she's she's describing this dream sequence to her psychologist What psychologist is gonna let some to go when they're still having crazy nightmares

regarding the incident that put them there in the first bag full of corpses and exploding houses and dead moms yeah and then he's his parting words were you just got to work through it well you get to finish what you started girl he told her to go out and kiss a boy so i think that that was really we were trying to interject like she needs to really reclaim herself and go out and uh... so yeah she just wore it up a little bit uh... should get past

her demons yeah i mean she it's this lingering guilt about uh... getting a guy really turned on and then just not finishing it yet that hurts for a guy dan yeah maybe we should talk I mean in the very very the first scene. She is making out with Matt the main male non David Stracer Jason stays on lead and He says you know, he really likes her and he has a condom and then she says she needs to

Like that's that is a sit action technique. It's like I really like you and I've got a kind of a Kind of I also know how to use that condom just in case I mean it shows that he Yeah, I mean in Matt's defense it shows that he put a little bit of effort into I don't know he thinks he's a planner. Well, that's I think again I'm not worse to be safe now. That's true. It also means that he understands that went because he has general herpes. He needs to make some kind of measures to protect to protect the people he listens to his doctor. He was really attentive to his doctor's direction. And as a result, I mean, it's not it wasn't inflamed

that night. But that doesn't mean he can't be saved right you don't have to have a Outranked yeah, yeah, friends miserable. I don't know. You're talking about oh Man, what a great great movie you pointed out Stewart that um People in this film don't act like humans No, I'm like normal people like just like that was one of the thing as about the movies I did think it was a movie about aliens People do not act like I the best example to my mind is the scene where

Our our harrowing I still don't remember what her actual name was Anna Alex Anna or Alex. It's one of the two one or two Well, she let's call her a she uh... goes to the sheriff with her you know her brain uh... tale about uh... you know the murderers nanny and uh... you know she tells the sheriff to the sheriff's like oh yeah yeah i remember that and then

the sheriff's like you hang out here the sheriff leaves her in the room and as he leaves he turns the light out on her still sitting in the room. Because that's what you do when you are trying to go out and solve the case. Well that's what you do when you exit a room that's still sitting in. You're like okay well I want to say if the scenes don't like me. So you're okay just sitting in the dark right. Well I think in his defense, in the Sheriff's Defense, there's a lot of scenes in this movie that are really dark

and there's a lot of scenes where people are doing things completely in the dark. So you're thinking that this is actually taking place in an alternate universe where people just hang out in the dark. Yeah, they're like more people or something. They have better vision than us, regular humans or stewmans in my case.

Whoa. Yeah, I'm a stew man. I think we talked about the concept that there might have just been a budget issue with this movie because like, especially with this three tiered Pearl necklace being the like identifying necklace of the murderer, they couldn't get something that was a little more like ornate and unique.

Like what is the Titanic necklace, the Teardrop of Heaven or whatever they call that thing? Or, you know, like we just, you know, like, you and I were just talking about a boardwalk empire in the second episode, like the gentleman like gives his mother a distinctive necklace. Very fancy and easy recognize that. Yeah, like why would you, if you're making a movie where like the idea is like, oh, okay,

well, a necklace is gonna be a key plot point. Let's make it the most boring. Like literally like the only thing they could have done that would have been more boring is if they just had like a plain gold chain with a cross on it, like one of those tiny crossings. I would advocate for a candy necklace. Okay. I think that that would have been unique enough enough because it has multi colors and then also maybe if the

Dead lady had taken one bite out of it, but she never finished it off Then there would be like a few pieces missing, right? So then you're like, oh well that would or teeth marks right or teeth marks That you could easily identify well, and so yes, so there's already writing my screen There's like there's poor lighting dead lady candy necklace crappy crappy props And no no named actors and actors except for David straight through to David straight through to Elizabeth banks Yeah, but the main characters like the daughters are sort of the replaceable teenage horror

Well, I am girls, you know, and it's one of these cases where the name actors, you can tell why they're name actors because they were the best people in the film. Like they could be a total force really. It was chewing the scenery I think is with taking it to Laila. With the nothing that they were given. Good night and good luck was okay. I mean it was a fine movie, but I wouldn't call it a film, but this movie I would call a film because Jason Stainson really brought it. He really did something much different than what he created a new human being. It's like a like a Daniel Day Lewis performance. It's like giving birth.

Yeah. Amazing. So another thing that I think we should address is ghost stories. Sure. Now you're really, you're- Don't care for him. You're really angry about ghost stories and I am too. And one thing that I can say about this, when you say you, you're talking about the listeners at home, right? Now I'm talking like you, Stuart.

Oh, shit. One thing that I can say for this movie is, at least the reveal sort of made that the irritating ghost story elements about it more like palatable because you're like, oh, okay, you know, she was just, like these are figments of her imagination that she is misinterpreting. But up until that point,

I can only assume that you're playing out like your typical ghost story that is really from the crust right now. I can only assume that your typical ghost story that is really unquestrained. I can only assume that our heroine has watched a lot of bad Asian horror movies. And so when she was driven insane, her psychosis like imagines these ghosts that their only purpose is to tell her that somebody is a murderer. Like these weirdly scary yet benevolent spirits. Yeah.

It's just ingrained in her head from watching all that J-Horror that like that's how it's gonna happen. Yeah, no, like what what goes do is they scare people into being better. Right. Yeah, into learning shit. Yeah. Like the least. They don't, they don't tell you.

Tell you. They don't tell you what they want you to do. They figure that by a concerted campaign of scares, you'll eventually figure out what they're trying to tell you. What? Like beetle juice. I mean, that's how I got you to quit smoking was I just kept showing up in your house with blood dripping out of my eyes and screaming murder and then I would run out before you can figure out was I asleep or was John actually in my house screaming murder with blood all over Yeah, I mean how long did I take you to climb up into the corner of the ceiling and just purge there until Dan got up to go to the bathroom

Yeah, it's a real pickle. I'm not gonna lie. It's not an easy task to get up there I meant to ask you about this because I thought that that restraining order I put on in you Was still in effect you can't do that to a ghost then yeah, but a restraining that's where you need spirit cops Cop cops aren't gonna be able to stop. No a spirit so okay. Yeah, it's a little legally complex Yeah, you have to get it like you get it you have to get a lawyer with a Ouija board sure Contact the spirit cops. Oh, so speaking of Ouija board. Sure. Kind of take the spirit cups. Oh, so speaking of Ouija boards, because this actually just really pissed me off.

Very early in the movie, they talk about a chalkboard. Yep. And they make a big stink about the chalkboard, and they even have a scene where Emma Brownie and her mom always used to leave us messages on the chalkboard. She would write us notes that would tell us things that were Important and then they like put the chalkboard up and then it's never brought up again Why couldn't they just have had one scene with some ghost chalk?

You have to figure that that did pay off and like this movie was The scene probably this movie was less than 90 minutes right that had to pay it off But the thing is like if if they cut the payoff, why was there still the scene of them walking around talking about a chalkboard? Right. Right. Cut it all or leave it all in. Well, I think they really liked expository dialogue like that. Yes. And they didn't really care about the payoff itself, but they wanted people to think like, oh my god, because that was the whole thing. The entire ghost story was of red herring. they were thrown as many little like

hey there's a fucking ghost like this to the viewer and then be like psych no ghost at all actually we praise the person or maybe they were trying to sell the tie-in uninvited chalkboards sure sure I thought it was going to be a collectors thing but uh... and i think that i'm yeah but then dandt took a lot of notes during the movie on his uninvited chalkboard

like i got to get my yeah i mean it wasn't even a good about chocolate now it's made out of plastic the chalk won't stick yeah not slate so look guys i i'm sorry i didn't get the consumer reports issue about chalkboards I apologize to some recent not making good consumer. Yeah, I mean it was just really uncomfortable So when you yeah, I don't even know I don't think that there's much more to say about this movie there were a lot of bikinis They put a thumbs up in the bikinis. Yes, the apartment.

There was a scene where our lead actress was hanging around in a polka-dotted bra, which you don't usually see. I mean, she was like lying on bed, drugged, and then reaching for a butcher knife that I wouldn't consider that hanging out. By the way, as you pointed out, Elizabeth Banks gets killed by a butcher knife because I guess There was just a butcher knife on the night nightstand. Yeah, it was a bedtime butcher knife I think a lot of people sleep with a butcher knife next to their bed Well, let's say I would just say if you're if you're crazy daughters coming back from the sanitarium

maybe If your crazy daughter is coming back from the sanitarium, maybe stop putting butcher knives on night fans. But if you consistently give your crazy daughter a, or stepdaughter a rack of lamb to eat as a midnight snack, then you need to give her something to cut that rack of lamb with. So I think there's pros and cons to it. There's a lot of midnight meeting. Also. A lot of midnight meat trains coming through Also, I think an important lesson we can all take from this movie is that if

If you have a daughter that's in a mental institution Possibly involved with the death of your wife because of an explosion we Weaver there. Yeah. Or if she comes home, why don't you make a little more effort to deal with her? Because her dad seemed to really not care that much. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm not saying he was cold, but he didn't really make that much. There weren't a lot of scenes of him interacting. Stuart, he had just finished his big book. So he's probably concerned with his book.

I'm not a writer. Okay. So he's probably concerned with his book. I'm not a writer But I mean come on what's how long to take to write a book like a couple of days? Probably probably but you know that's a couple how many minutes are there in a day? I mean fear if you can write a page of minute. Yeah, we don't know time I mean, it's just telling a story. I mean come on. That's how Hemingway did it We don't know time. I mean, it's just telling a story. I mean, come on. That's how Hemingway did it.

Page a minute, Don sent that to the publisher. Yeah, hammer it out. Yep, get that shit done. Go back to drinking. Yeah, go back to petting your three-toed cats or whatever he has. Yep. Yep.

Five-toed cats, I don't know. There were some toes. There's either one fewer or one more. Go to the keys. You can find out. Hang out with those cats. So time for final judgments, I think. OK. So what do we do here? Go to go to the keys you can find out hang out with those cats So Time for final judgments. I think okay, so what do we do here? We make a final judgment on the movie whether it was a good bad movie a

Bad bad movie or movie that we actually liked in some way John, where do you go with this? I'm gonna definitely say that was a bad bad movie. Okay You care to elaborate John, where do you go with this? I'm gonna definitely say that was a bad, bad movie. Okay. You care to elaborate? You know, I specifically made it a bad, bad movie. Well, so I was thinking of the concept of the ghost movie, right? Sure.

And I can't remember what the name, I think it's the haunting, the Nicole Kidman remake of another movie that was... Oh, the others? The others. That's a great, like, reveal ghost movie. I'm not gonna say what happens because you know some people might not have seen it but Darth Vader is Luke's father oh wow and I knew it yeah yeah we know that was like that that was a really good reveal ghost movie and I felt like that was something where I was invested in the characters and I really enjoyed it and this I just didn't care about anybody or anything that was something where I was invested in the characters and I really enjoyed it. And this I just didn't care about anybody or anything that was happening and then it ended.

And I thought, huh, this movie's over. Yeah, I, yeah, I'll say bad bad movie. I mean, I actually enjoyed watching this movie more than many because like, it was like, it was weird and went along and I could, yeah, it was 80. It was like, it was so short and and a good yeah, I was 80 it was like it was so short and there were Women in it that were cute in some scenes and weird looking in other scenes would just like in life Yeah, but that distracted me at least

But yeah, by and large I would not recommend that anyone check it out Yeah, I knew going into it. It was gonna be some kind of a ghost movie when we check it out. Uh, yeah. I knew going into it. It was going to be some kind of a ghost movie. I knew I wasn't going to like it, and that was right. And by the way, can we say that a tale of two sisters, a movie that many horror fans love, but Stuart and I agree, is a tremendously dull. Yeah, I'll back that up. I mean, that's basically what this movie was, right?

Yeah, this was a remake of the movie. I don't remember it too well because it was really boring. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, I can't, I don't want to read a book. If you're going to watch a movie, some titles come on. Get out of here. No, that's not or is it? If you're going to watch a Korean horror movie, watch something like the host, or there's

like a big goofy monster. Yeah, thumbs up to that. So, yeah, this is a bad bad movie. And I don't know, I don't quite know how I feel that the movie totally, I hate unreliable narrators, and I don't quite know how I feel when it changed from being a crappy ghost story to a crappy, crazy killer movie, but yeah, I wasn't very very good I didn't like it. Okay could he use more boobs? Yeah seeing that there were none in there. Yeah I mean it was PG 13 I mean there could have been way like if you're gonna have a

movie with corpses and bags you could have stepped it up to an R rating like. Or at least increase the bus size of the girls in the bikinis so that you're seeing more boobs without breaking the rating rating code absolutely I agree with that it's more skin more skin see it's stp it's it's moments like these that I'm amazed at our dedicated female listenership and David straight hand yeah he could have gone topless or bottom you know for you know for the ladies sure I mean he and Matt could have a game of like you know like touch put ball on the on the beach hide the pickle He's ruggedly handsome and the fatherly's who madly

Yeah, that's I'm talking about okay So this is the points in the podcast where we make our movie recommendations a movie that you would say The audience should watch say instead of the uninvited. And because this is again, Shocktober, I'm going to go, I'm going to say that we should make some horror movie recommendations. Stuart clearly didn't walk in with anything, so I'm going to go with, I'm going to go to John first, I've got one. You actually asked your guardyer, and I didn't realize we're supposed to give good movie recommendations No, it can be it can be a it can be a bad movie that's actually enjoyable in this badness

Rather than something that I'm invited which is boring in its bad news So the movie I was gonna recommend is Satan's Blade Good luck finding a copy I stumbled upon it when I was 13 and I rented the movie glory starring Matthew Brodrick and Denzel Washington, got home, put it in the VCR, and it was in fact, Satan's Blade. That's what's most important. A little sort of magical thing, but I think it happened in the days of VHS.

And my dad was at work, and I was like, well, I'm going to go definitely with Satan's Blade. Knife murderer on the ski slopes, very few actual stabbing but a lot of bear breasts so for a 13-year-old boy you really if you're a 13-year-old boy listening to the flat-pouse go rent that movie okay yeah that sounds fair I'm gonna recommend a movie that actually stars a friend of mine. Some of you also know Mr. John Cainman. I'm going to recommend the movie Sandman.

Oh, I know that guy, which is spelled S, Ampersand Man. S and Man. Yeah, but it's one of these stupid spellings. We call them in the business Where means sandman and it's directed by JT Petty a gentleman who I've met a couple times I don't know that well, but it is a nice guy who wrote who Directed some other horror movies one called the borrowers and one called soft for digging But it is ostensibly a documentary about underground horror movies and people who are

making very low-budget horror movies that shade into the area of sort of like horror fetish films. And they also, it also has commentary from a lot of sort of like horror fetish films. And they also, it also has a commentary from a lot of sort of horror scholars. But there is another element of the film that I'm not going to ruin for people who are not, who haven't seen the film because it's best to be discovered on its own terms, but a good friend of mine is in the movie and that's all I'm gonna say about that. But it's fun, it's genuinely creepy and it's like 70 minutes long.

So New York Times actually gave it a very nice write-up that you shouldn't read because it also sort of sort of gives away, yeah. But watching it with you in like, a fucking like a basement or something. Yeah. Well, that was actually, I think, the best way to see it. It was pretty awesome.

Yeah, you walk into it, you have no idea what it's going to be. Yeah. Yeah, I think that was because a friend, Eric, he, I was like four years ago, though. Well, like the deal with the movie was it played at the Toronto Film Festival, and it got some nice write-ups at the Toronto Film Festival,

but as often happens at movies at Film Festival, it was just gonna get picked up for distribution, and so he's been looking, they've been looking for modes of distribution since then, and now it's finally you know gotten a DVD release and you can get it on Netflix. So S ampersand man, sandman, my recommendation. Oh man, yeah I can't like, I've recommended so many horror movies on these things that I can't use my fucking brain roletex to think of all who got's. I am kind of a similar vein.

I watched a movie called The Last War movie, a little while ago, which is, you know, the movie begins like any Don Mendoza, like horror slash or movie, and then, you know, it looks like the film's breaking or something or like somebody recorded over it and it it starts it turns out that this guy has like recorded over this VHS cassette and he's like a serial killer or something and he you know has recorded his movies of him killing people and then he like returns it to the video store so for you to find. I remember liking it enough. Yeah so go check it out. I can't remember how it ends so I won't

spoil it for you. I want to say on a similar vein I remember when I was a kid reading a short story that was like a bad guy who you know like he was like a violent criminal who like escaped from jail and like you know It's this narrative story, but then it talks about like at the end it talks about how like this guy has Once to prove himself to this other killer like and he's gonna do it by like killing killing someone at random and he's inserted the story into like a magazine or a book or whatever and like the idea is like

okay this guy's following you as you're reading the story and he's gonna kill you and I have no idea what the name of this short story is like it sort of haunted me for like years afterwards so if anyone recognizes what I'm outlining and knows the name of the story. You should write in incidental metal Creek bridge Yeah, that's what's called as my Ambrose Beers It's actually about War sure Um incident at Oglala. I think is the about the Indian reservation shooting mm-hmm sure fed. It's called the necklace Oh, it's by guided mapa's aunt. Yeah, yeah

called the necklace. Oh. It's by Guy de Mampa-Saint. Yeah. We've been to the necklace. Yeah. If anyone has an idea, or if anyone just wants to write in, because we haven't gotten a lot of emails lately, write into the Flop House podcast at gmail.com.

And let me know, or just say something else that you want to say. Awesome. So you want to say awesome. So you guys, great. That's it. I had a good time with you. No, not really. Okay, I enjoyed myself greatly.

Oh, that's cool. So we should sign off. For the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I've been John Kingman. Nice. and I've been John Kingman. Yeeees! Boogie sound! This is gonna be a problem that we all are dead pan, dry, basic deliveries and things.

I can talk like this, guys. People are gonna listen to this, you're gonna be like, one guy just sat in a room for the entire night talking to him. So that was one guy. One guy did all those voices back there. I know. That's the reveal.