The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #79 - Knight and Day

Episode Date: April 22, 2011

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 6:57 - We're so delighted by our special MYSTERY GUEST (whose identity is ruined in the show description) that we take even longer than usual to get to the point.6:58 - 47:29 - In-between discussions of Batman villains, we find a little time to talk about Knight and Day.47:30 - 48:30 - Final judgments.48:31 - 54:50 - The sad bastards recommend. 54:51 - 56:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode we discuss Night and Day, the 2010 Oscar winner for a pun title that doesn't make sense. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Elliot Kaelin. And I'm special surprise guest. Figure out who I am. Then write in two weeks from now and tell me who you think I am. Yeah, don't write to us, write to him. Yes, when you figure out who I am, find me.

That would be a great flop house contest, but I feel like we have to identify our guests. All right, you're the boss. You're the honors. Joining us today is uh... my friend and co-worker mr. white-son-ac damn it you ruined it you ruined everything contest over everyone

no i'm sorry can't let a contest just go i know that everyone here a list of the involved in the contest they wanted to have fun because that's what podcaster about there about having fun While you listen to the podcast you're out there scavenger hunting looking for me is the thing our listeners know that we introduce a lot of contests that are never paid off Yeah, and winners are never chosen So I wanted to save them the trouble people actually right in asking when the next vaguely to find contests is going to be and

I hate to disappoint them. So I guess this is it. Oh yeah. This contest had a clear winner. If you know, if you figured out who I was, then you got to help me move. Oh, that was the prize. Yeah.

But I think I'll let you just commit it yourself. I don't want to do that. Oh, I get all right. The flip side of that, if you assume that was like, I don't know, that like crusty hobo that hangs out under the train station, then you go and you make a new friend. Were you on the flop house? Well, I stayed in the flop house. Wait, is it one hobo that found another listener who knew about that guy is also a hobo. You have to keep Peter as a listener.

Two elderly lady hobos together. Now there's a show. It's the Golden Girls with their homeless. This is a show I think we can do. Yeah, I like it. Now listen to the homeless girls. The Pennywissel girls. Listeners, of course, will be familiar with White.

From this podcast. Probably just a few moments. Yep, you just heard his voice. And from Untitled Kanye West HBO project, probably the number one. Someone which I'm debuting today. That's I think the only reason I'm deb DB exists, so people can make that joke. But no, of course, the Daily Show. Daily Show, the hit film, hit blockbuster film medicine

from Alan Colley. And the Untitled Kanye West HBO project, then keeping fingers crossed. It's been about four or five years now, which still haven't heard back. So any day, any BO will greenlight it and it will be the thing that follows Game of Thrones. And Kanye is not one of those guys you just kind of let's a project fall without coming back to it.

I wouldn't think so. Especially now if that project is tweeting. Yeah. He's sort of taking to that. I'm just saying Adam West did not raise a kid who did not follow through on his promises. That's true. Adam West and Diane Weist. Son Kanye. Another great show idea. The West.

Meet the West on after the tin cup girls. It's called the Westing game. We call it the Rich and Poor Hour. This is much more fun than actually talking about the movie. I feel like I need to get this on track, but I don't want to. Well, you're the boss. You decide. No, I mean, all right, new contest. If you call in right now, if you're the 45th caller, you get to decide what we talk about. That's a good contest if this was airing live or they knew where to call. Hold on.

Oh, first figure out where to call. Figure out my number. And then if 44 of you figure it out. Here's a hint. It's got a two in it. Don't give it away. That's just to get them started. You ruin every contest. I'm the contest

ruiner. Yeah. Yeah. That was my Batman villain character. Yeah. He just keeps like, he just ruined contest, just not technically a crime. Just Bruce Wayne is like a real like contested Fishing Auto. He just loves them. Loves contest. bad man, it looks like you've won this scratcher But I'm gonna scratch everything oh Goddess Runaer like Bruce Wayne sitting in the movies and the screen sprangles up and the contest Runaer just yells out the answer Indiana Joe. I didn't even get a chance to read it yet Oh, yes, everyone's a contest. Oh Oh and I'm gonna ruin the movie too! The bureau gets adjusted!

Oh! Spoiler alert! That's my sidekick! Who's just me because I can't afford a real sidekick? You're so lucky that you have your own ward! Man, I wish! I wish I could feed myself The movie's been going for 10 minutes. I don't know what's happening because he keeps talking. I don't do the bureau gets adjusted Yeah, the contest ruiners branching out into just just ruining movies.

Well, I don't think it does it team up with seven pounds. That would be new contest. Those of you who are artists, why don't you draw us a few panels of Batman versus the contest ruiners? See, now that's a good contest. Considering unsolicited, we have people sending in pictures of Penny from Inspector Gadget fighting a dinosaur. Yeah. Well, now you got something else to kill Kill you day with as you're listening to this podcast hate in the job you're in

Doodling on some graph paper. Why should doodle something with purpose Speaking specifically about one of you who works with graph paper And the prize is the feeling of accomplishment you get after having drawn the contest ruiner. So the movie you watch tonight was called Night and Day. Now you might be thinking, oh, Night and Day, N-I-G-H-T-N-D, no, wrong, spelled like a night, like a medieval night. Like, Night and Day.

Exactly. Night and Day. So like, M. Canite can I channel on exactly but not spelled that way at all that's how he spells it because he's a knight he then he would be sir m can I channel on well he he doesn't want to be so formal okay that's pretty good then yeah so yeah this is a film blockbuster film blockbuster film with James Mangle directed it James Mangle man made out of gold I have to assume he's I've just assumed he was just named James Goldman and he changed his name but

If you say it too fast it sounds like James mangled yeah like he's a mangled Poor mangled man. You should let him direct the movie direct the movie that's he wants to. That doesn't really make any sense when you get down to it. Let him direct it. He's been mangled. So to tell the story in a nutshell, Cameron Diaz is. Ellie got that nutshell. Yeah. Eh?

Wow. Classic Bobville bit. That man villain, the podcast ruiner. Cameron Diaz has to get back to Boston for her sister's wedding, but on the plane she runs or in the airport she bumps into Tom Cruise who of course turns out to be a spy and through a series of hijinks that involve Tom Cruise killing everyone on a plane and then crashing it. Tom Cruise shooting Cameradilla's ex-boyfriend in the leg. Tom Cruise getting her into danger and death and trouble. And Tom Cruise running a turtle neck sweater at one point.

Mark Turtle neck. Mark Turtle neck. Mark Turtle neck with a sport coat over it. Yeah, very classy. Basically, Tom. It's being a Swiss chalet serving some hot chocolate with little marshmallows and some marshmallows. And a little moustache.

Yes, he should have had a moustache and marshmallows and marshmallows. Which are hand moustmallows. But the so basically Tom cruises a spy. He's been framed by another spy to make it look like he is going rogue and stealing a super secret battery invented by awkward genius Paul Dano. And it's the batteries called the Zephyr. It's called the Zephyr. He's been framed into making it look like he stole the Zephyr and is trying to sell it to a Spanish crime boss who for some reason wants this. I guess he's a... Anthony Quintano. Yes. I remembered name. That's... The... I just remember him as Spanish Fisher Stevens.

Which is also pretty accurate. He's an arm's dealer. So he wants this battery, I guess, to power them. The nuclear weapon that would he will sell to somebody. But it's never really explained why he wants it. So there's a series of hijinks. It's like a romantic comedy with a lot of guns and things and Cameron D. They run around and they get captured and Cameron D. has gets knocked out like 80 times.

And it's not just knocked out like roofied by Tom Cruise and once Vulcan neck pinched to knock her out. Right. He never punches her in knocks her out. No, he's like Rupi's. No, he is a knockout. Yeah. Let me tell you, takes a shirt off. That is a that is a buff older man. But he and Camerda's are both like a little too old to be playing these parts. And they're both in very good. Well, no, but they're both in very good shape, but they're in the good shape that like people in their 40s are in, where their skin is like

a little too tight in an artificially weird way. See, but that's what I like about it, is that they are the perfect ages to be doing this. Cameron Diaz, you know, struggling as her sister, her younger sister is getting married. And not dealing with it well. So when she's on an empty airplane with Tom Cruz, the first thing she thinks to do is get drunk and make out with him,

even though she'd never met him before. Never met him before and doesn't seem to think it's weird that there's no, almost no one else on the plane, the people who are on the plane are all dead. And you can just walk around during turbulence and no one tells you to stop. Right, just early on. It was a great commercial for commercial airline travel because early on in the movie they go and they get on she tries to get on the same flight that Tom Cruise is getting on to go to Boston. She's flight that Tom Cruise is getting on to go to Boston. She's already checked in.

She's past security. Past security goes to board the plane. They say the plane's full. You can't get on this plane. And then all of a sudden through some sort of magic, the movie magic, she gets on the airplane to find that there were only eight people who were also on this airplane. Presumably all trying to get back to Lost Island. Yeah. Well Shannon from Lost is in the movie as her sister. So I

guess that was that that was the tie in there. But yeah, she she she she later on after that was a big selling point for the movie. Yeah. That was the unofficial lost crossover or lost over as they called it. The Burger King figurines figurines plastic mugs, the contest get lost on lost with night and day. Yeah. I was waiting for the night daytime.

Um, so we could go over basically the plot in more detail, but it's basically just Cameradilla is getting pulled along on a series of adventures falling for Tom Cruise, not trusting him and turning him in, then realizing he was the hero after all, having to try to save him, and then they both save each other, and there's a lot of shooting and explosions and everything works out okay in the end. And she also meets his parents. She meets his parents who think he died in the Gulf War. Yeah. And of course, apparently he is now under covers a spy. His parents that he's dead, but he has arranged the government that his

parents keep winning the lottery and publishers clearing how sweepstakes. Yeah. So they can get money for stuff because they're stupid old people. Yeah. I mean that's more money than that. That seems like an people. Yeah. I mean, that's more money than it. That seems like an abusive power. I mean, you just have arranged some sort of pension system. Nope. No, lottery. Oh, and Camadilla is a mechanic.

Yes, Camadilla is a mechanic who's obsessed with her dad's GTO and talks about a lot and finally gets to drive it at the end. And you wonder, why didn't you drive this car before since she owns it? Yeah, are you asking? I anybody, the God, the universe, new contests. Like there's just a lot of the bad man fit villain, the contest and adventure. He's been devil's bad man, like inventing all sorts of contests, directly. He's like, oh, best, best bat costume. He was like, well, I really should, I should enter this contest.

I feel like I'd be a shoe in this one. So it's always a trick. Robin has to be like, no, Batman. It's not, it's not a real contest. It's clearly been specifically designed. Robin, this flyer was photocopied and pasted on a light pole. This is a real contest. No, he's just trying to get you to fill out your address.

So that way he can send you mailers. Yeah, he just wants to send you circulars. Look, he sells ad space on his circulars. You have just fallen right into his hands. Oh, bad man. This is, you're just going to be at the front stoop. Is just going to be covered in a full bag. I could win $100 thousand dollars in prizes.

No, he's gonna get you on that BMG CD thing. Robin, all I have to do is subscribe to four magazines and I'm entered to win a million dollars and I can cancel the magazines at any time. Batman, you're a billionaire. You don't need to... No need for a celebrity. Look at the prices of these magazines. $6.99. I'm getting you self-magazine, Robin.

Getting a little tubby around the old thighs there. My young word. I know you're always trying to get into back girl's head. So a little self-magazthing to better understand the ladies. Um, one thing that... Ellie, you've got a version in comics right in career. I think that you could pitch the stories. I don't really think I can pitch the story to the contest,

ruiner or the contested inventor. Wait until the... Wait until we get the panels in from people. Yeah, and see who's best, Yeah. Yeah. There might be real visual. Sizzle art. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have your sizzle real ready. Yeah. Um, something that just struck me early in the movie, uh, Tom Cruise's character, uh, whose name is like, Rummy Miller or something like that. Um, his name is like Rummy Miller or something like that.

His name is Roy Miller. Rummy Miller. So Rummy, he has this battery, this is after device, and he has to hide it because he knows that the FBI are they're looking for him at the airport. So he's trying to find something to hide it in and then he finds a night figurine which he puts it in and somehow it's a hollowed out thing but there's a moment where he looks at it and he's like ha ha this is the perfect thing and then later on you learn that his real last name is Knight. Yeah.

And there's something very arrogant, beautifully arrogant, about a guy being like, what the hide this is? The thing that reminds me most of me. Yeah. I would have liked it if his name was Miller, and he found like a tiny, a figurine of a guy working a mill. They did not have that in the gift shop the gift shop. Or like a pepper mill or something like that. But there's no one named day in the movie. Well I think you

miss Susan Daze. I must have. It's like you're waiting for the character named day to show up and I feel like that what would be great after credit sequence. Hey folks it's me day. Are are waiting for me. Here I am. Well good bye. Have a good ride home. Where was that one character day? Yeah I don't think that really has one character. Day is sex machina at the end of the movie. Eh? Eh? Get out of that nut shell, Ellie. Yeah. Wow. Oh, for sure. I'm so stupid.

Oh, for sure. Get out of it. There's also something strange about the movie. And I think this is something I enjoy about the movie. I've decided these guys, they can trash it. But I want to work in Hollywood. And I know everyone in Hollywood listens to this podcast so I don't want to piss anybody off because seriously if you make a night in day two or a night in day in sunset I would

love to be in it. Like Charles sunset. Well but that's the thing his name is night and you think oh that's awesome you should you could do something that, but instead that's the name he no longer goes by. Yeah, the movie really should be called like Miller and Hagen. At turn he's at law or just have Miller be his old name and night is his current name. I mean, that seems like it's yeah, like Michael night. Like if you're gonna play if you're gonna have a figurine of a night and have someone name night just like go with it all out Well, it's like our movie truth and Justin. Yeah, truth and Just starting Anthony truth and Justin justice. That's where we're featuring. Yeah, and it makes sense because it's got both of their names

It's got truth and Justin and Justin for Justin justice. Justin. Justus. That is truth and advertising. Yeah truth and Justin for Justin justice Justin justice that is truth in advertising truth and Justin in advertising all right I'm trying to like I'm trying to think of a way to tell the plot of this movie that doesn't get bogged down in details because it's just a series of set pieces basically yeah you know you know she uh I feel like with the last podcast with gooby you guys went all out with the plot like I felt like I'd seen the But this time like you guys should have a podcast where you criticize each other. I think that's this podcast Basically this podcast I heard your podcast and I didn't care for it

Collars if you have anything you want to ask. No, collars. If I wasn't on that podcast, I wouldn't listen to the podcast. But there's a scene, there's a fight in a kitchen on a train, there's a shootout in a boat construction building in Brooklyn. It's a Brooklyn, I assume it's also like the Brooklyn Naval Yards that that could turn into a movie studio. I thought that's I don't know somewhere

They're down in Dumbo afterwards the shop for some art It was a whole day Mexican food Set up a studio space They wouldn't stop. They wouldn't saw a screening of Sandman Sorry, that was something that Elliott and I did That's one sense of reference to one thing that happened to like as if that's always going on in Dumbo. The show in the movie are friend Eric was in. As if the audience is gonna be like, all right, always watching Sandman in Dumbo. No, as I said while we're watching the movie,

it's the movie is charade with explosions. It's you know there's a woman who unlike any other movie. There's a woman who there's this guy says that he's a secret agent and she is not sure whether to trust him and think that he's like a good guy or he might be a paranoid crazy person who's killing much people. Yeah and they are being chased by the adventurers. And I will say about her, she is the, maybe the dumbest lead female character I've seen in a movie in a long time. She is eager to believe whatever anyone tells her a moment ago. She runs right to hails of gunfire. Yeah, she does a lot of flailing of the arms.

A lot of running around with her arms flailing like olive oil. That's what personally I love about it. I love it that they took convention and turned it on its ear and said, you know what? The convention of what? The competent woman. The convention of a typical character who's being dragged along in somebody else's adventure uh... that she rather than be skeptical of it has a positive attitude just goes with it all the time is like sure yes you drugged me like five times well you did say that this is the same way that while we're watching it why you refer to as a defense of date rape

uh... it kind of the amount of time she gets drugged. It does seem like, because she gets drugged and then every time she gets drugged, it like goes to white and then she wakes up and she's in a hotel and then falls asleep again and then she's in a hammock on the beach. And it seems like if anybody were trying to make any sort of ad campaign for the benefits of roofies. It's like if you sold roofies to people like this. This is the way you would do it. Well this is if every time you never know where you're gonna wake up. Exactly. Yeah. People would probably be less inclined to put napkins or coasters on top of their drinks when they go out to smoke cigarettes. That impenetrable force fields. Well, the way.

Up a net-fitter coaster. Well, it's full of proof. It's really more of a courtesy. They put a little hair on top of the napkin. They put it on the fence. So they know if it's the tampered. Yeah. But what you forget why it is at the end of the movie,

Cameron Diaz, Rufy's Tom Cruise, and then changes his clothes. That's right. He also. The woman does it to a man too, then it's OK. It's not just that she's Rufi's Tom Cruise and then changes his clothes So that's right. She also does it to a man too, then it's okay like it's it's not just that she's Rufi But that she's Rufi and then wakes up in a bikini. Mm-hmm, right. Well, yeah, but she had been Rufi to Fyuton before that Yeah, it wasn't the first time what's Rufi for the goose is Rufi for the ganners what is movie saying? I guess what I'm saying is Rufi me once shame on you Rufi me twice shame on me Rufi me three times The whole thing the flop house tonight is brought to you by jack's roofy Thinking about Rufi and that special someone that you just met five minutes ago go with jack's roofies

I'm jack of jack's roofies, and I don't just sell roofies. I use them till Hey jack. I brought you. Oh. I'm Jack of Jack's roofies and I don't just sell roofies I use them till. Hey Jack I thought you oh I'm feeling so sleepy. Another successful roofie from Jack's roofies. Jack's roofies. Finds me in the show so Rayleigh gets to do an improv bit. That's what that's what happens when you have a professional comedian. Exactly that that's what I'm having. I'm having a professional comedian. Exactly. That's exactly what I was going to say. Was I not supposed to bring my keyboard and my pool floats that we were my pool noodles

that we were going to do. No, we've got a lot of things we can pretend those pool noodles are. Yeah, that's right. What's who's lying this time? Who's lying? There's always like it's time for wacky props. Who knows what prop we're going to

bring out. It's going to be a pool noodle. It's always a pool noodle you just stop buying props sounds like oh I have no idea what this is no one's familiar with a pool noodle I guess I'm gonna float around on this for the people who are watching that in the emergency room of a hospital at two in the morning chances are they probably don't know what a pool of this. I love this world that's been constructed, but that's the main, that's the main, like the Nielsen studies.

It's like, oh, people who watch Who's Line are all in a cover room in a hospital. Yeah, they're all like, oh, I gotta get this G.I. Joe figure out of my ear. What my kid do is to me. Oh, and some kid who's like, you know, I'm a red daddy. And this G.I. Joe figure out of my ear. I hate you. I wish my red daddy was here. I don't even and they just it just sounds like they don't even notice that whose line is it anyway is on the TV We hate each other, but wait we both love this. What is he holding? We both love short-form improv games Voices really creepy out. Yeah, It's a little kid who has a smoking problem. I was a fetus and then got one of those voice modulators by about seven or eight.

Yeah, yeah, some voice work. Yeah. Anyhoo, so night and day. I can do my voiceover, Scissor Real while we're doing this, right? I can I can do my voice over sizzle real A lot of different sizzle reals That's why you came here tonight actually you accidentally taped over your voice over real you know like It's just be cheaper to do this pod Yeah, I'm why it's not here to my profiles I guess what I'm saying about this movie is it's a pretty kind of boilerplate movie.

It's not a terrible movie, but it's not a very good movie. It does have a scene where they're chased by CGI bowls through the streets of Spain. Jumanji! Just like Jumanji and a motorcycle on a bridge. It's just like Leitha Weapon 4. And what other scenes are there in it? the ending is basically the same ending as repo man There was the scene where he's on he's on top of the car and they go through the tunnel and then oh and the car flips over Over him kind of like admission impossible

when the thing exploded over And he does he does the mission impossible three run at the end You know, there's he does the mission impossible three run at the end. You mean he's he's armed to the robot arm. What's great is if you're I wish I wish that while he was running through that he was just saying it was I am a running robot. I am a running robot. Does he does look like a man like someone who's never seen the person run before? That's if you ever find yourself in Santa Monica, California.

At the right time of day, you can see him running the beach just like that. And people leave him alone. Yeah. Because they think, oh my God, that guy has to go save something. But if you see him, make a wish, because that wish will come true. Really? Is that how it works? It's the legend of Santa Monica. That's how it goes. Legend of bagger fans of Santa Monica. That's how I won my wife. I saw Tom Cruise running and I made a wish. And now she's mine forever.

Really? Yeah. Interesting. Romantic. Although it was weird that you won her. Yeah. Usually you like. What was the context? It were sponsored by the well Batman

We know wife First one is spot Tom Cruise wins. Well my crime fighting has really has prevented me from dating like an old person You also had an an iPod touch that gave him information and he could use it to open car doors. Yeah, well he had an it and it would show him uh he had his iPhone would show him the earth then zoom in on a house and then show him inside of the house. Yeah, and inside that house his parents doing it non-stop all the time. Jackrabbits because they think their kid is dead so there's nothing to stop them from doing it non-stop all the time jackrabbits because they think their kid is dead so there's nothing to stop them from doing it because they don't have to worry about that kid show

around that's what happens after a child dies non-stop fuck fest I saw a don't look back or don't look now that's true the movie with Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie that's exactly what happens so much it's so much war and his parents, they're going to get killed by a tiny bit, like a dwarf in a red raincoat. Yeah, well only if they go to Venice. Yeah. Spoilers. Spoilers, literally.

This, yeah, there's, and Peter Sarsgard is in it. He is. Paul Dano. He's Vila Davis. Vila Davis plays. He's almost nothing. Paul Dano. Vila Davis. Vila Davis plays. Almost nothing.

As the thankless role of the Harmon San Diego chief who runs the spy agency and just tells the exposition to people, but as emotionally as possible. Yeah. Yeah. You know, a gig I'm available for. My name is Wyatt Sinek. I'm represented by UTA

More voices Very different I only have three boys There's boys a boys B and, and voice A-B. But what I give you is variety. You don't. You don't at all. There's only three voices. How many voices can you do? I don't know. Dan, how many voices can you do?

Well, you can do Michael King. I do have Michael King. Hold on. Well, I'm making George the revenge. The first thing I said when I saw the script was this is a great script and that was without looking at the script. Literally when I saw the script, that's like a great idea. So that's his Michael Keane. I did the same thing when I made London politics. Oh my gosh, such big stars are in the studio tonight.

It's a round table of common impressions. Oh, oh, Nathan McGorrah, I'm just a generic Irishman of some kind. She fo' hair of the Batman. That's me. Oh, nothing to see here. Move along. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta along with jacks roofies batman sponsored this episode well i i guess what we ultimately the message of night and day was there's not a lot to talk about when it comes to the movie night and day um there

were who's these there were a lot of weapons a lot of sunglasses too oh yeah that's right this was a movie that was entire it was like basically a movie about guns and sunglasses and cars gun glasses and sunglasses and cars. Gun glasses and sunglasses and sunglasses. To keep the glare out of your gun's eyes. But everyone's always wearing sunglasses, putting on new pairs of sunglasses. But specifically Tom Cruise. There are moments where he does something crazy like jumps on top of a car and there's like gunfire and a crash and then he

disappears for like five minutes and he comes back with new sunglasses on. He's a guy on the run who is constantly who brought like 13 pairs of sunglasses with him. Well, you had to bring the essentials and when it came to essentials, there are certain things you need. Sunglasses. You know, you need a clean pair of underpants. You need a gun, you need a few different passports with all of your aliases. Yeah. And you need like 13 to 14 pairs of sunglasses. And a tiny figurine of a knight that you can hide a super battery in. And a bikini, you can change someone into it. Yeah, that means you had a bikini on hand.

Unless we just didn't see the scene where he was shopping for it. That would be great if she was drugged throughout like this whole scene you went, you're like, okay, I got to measure her. He took her in to the shop and the shopkeeper was like, I don't know if I feel comfortable with that. He's in the fitting room just going to try and pull the paintings on her. This does a fit. There he puts her in a wheelchair and he's like, yeah, she's in a weird, like her brain

is active, but it's a weird, like, she's in a weird like her brain is active but it's a weird like she's still like to look pretty though so if you you know if you can help her out. Oh my wife, my wife, my poor brain dead wife, who loves to be my beauty. I'll be shopping, am I right? Brain dead or no? I love it. You're brain dead and you're listening to this podcast. Please write us. For that, I'm brain dead contest.

That wasn't a contest. To sort of get the brain dead people involved. I appreciate that. Yeah. He was hoping that if we stimulated them by asking them to write, then that would be a cure. Here's something the movie fooled me with. That Tom Cruise says, we're gonna do this and I'm gonna get you home in time

for your sister's wedding. And I was like, oh, so the movie's gonna end when they get back to the sister's wedding. Nope. He gets her back to the wedding and then there's a whole other act that comes after that. And I felt like there's the story when William Goldman wrote about Big Lebowski

where he's like, they keep talking about this bowling competition that's coming up. And he was looking at Big Lebowski where he's like they keep talking about this bowling competition that's coming up and he was looking at Big Lebowski is being written like a normal screenplay so he's like oh man I can't wait till this big bowling competition like this is when the movie is gonna tie everything together the bowling competition and of course there is no bowling competition in Big Lebowski like it's the least important piece of information in the movie and William Goldman felt taken like what I invested a lot in waiting for this bowling competition so I kind of felt like

that about the wedding which passes by really fast yeah it does it's not the end of it's not like the end beat of the movie so you're saying this is a brilliant comedy like no I am not saying that I think that's what you said no did you know I did say a response no and not at all not the truth or the thing I think that's what you said. No, didn't mean it. And I'm glad to hear. No. Finally have a positive response. Did you say it? No, and not at all. Not the truth or the thing. Another moment in the film that stood out for me was a crud.

I forgot it. Really stood out. I light of the film. I light. Oh, okay, here it is. It's gonna come to you any moment now. In the end of the movie, he clears his name. Tom Cruise clears his name because he had been framed. It's never totally clear why the other FBI agent decided to specifically frame him. Well, he knew Peter Sarsgar, the bad agent. I think new Tom Cruise was particularly friendly with Paul Dano, the young scientist who had invented the super battery. The Zephyr device. The Zephyr device. So he chose to frame him

because then if Tom Cruise escaped with Paul Dano and the battery, which he would do to keep Paul Dano safe, it would look like he was kidnapping him to sell him to the arm's deal. He also chose to frame him because he was the super agent who was the only one who would win the day. And also in the movie ends, I should mention by the way, the battery, it turns out, is unstable and is heating up over time. Which means that just as Peter Sarsgard is escaping with it in helicopter, it explodes in his hands. Called timing. Yeah. And every cruise has been carrying this battery around in like a little pouch in his pocket. I've been on that for eight years. In a plastic night. Yeah. But the part that stood out for me is after he wins and he clears his name, something that happened right before that was he got shot.

And he had to go to the hospital. And when he wakes up, you think he's going to see Cameron Diaz buzz. As her people would pronounce it. But instead, he sees Viola Davis. And her people would pronounce it. But instead he sees Viola Davis as our people would pronounce it. And she's the you know the she's the black character in any of these movies which means she's the police chief. Black characters are black actors and actors have risen to such heights of middle authority in movies. They're always the middle managers. Well especially when it comes to law enforcement

Hey, young black kids watching this you two could be police chief one day You don't get to go out in the field and do exciting stuff like shoot guns Get a glare disapproving. Yeah, you get to yell at people and threaten to take their badges That's power. Black power. And if you're lucky, you'll die three days before your retirement. Yeah. Keep your eyes on the prize. But he wakes up, she's in the hospital, and she's like, congratulations, your name has been cleared. And then she says to him like well you know we got to get you back into the office as soon as you heal up which seems like oh wow my

name's been cleared I get to go back to work and be an agent again and then she leaves and then he's sitting there staring at the ceiling and a nurse for like half a day yeah well what else, what else do you do in the afternoon? Until the sun goes down. Why don't you slide us in anyway? That's the day. It's now the night. Oh, Michael Knight.

But I ride her. A nurse brings him a little shot of something. Just a jigger of medicine. Yeah, he drinks it. And he's like, what's going on? And he's about to black out. And nurse is coming on the us and she's like, I'm here to save you. I know you don't want to go back to that job that you really like. And you grade at that you were probably trying to clear your name so you could go back to.

I'm going to kidnap you and you you're gonna live with me sexy misery style See this is another voice you can do you can do Cameradiers. That's a great camera. Yes, come on For the next Shrek film they can just go hide yeah, let's check the ninth For Shrek babies Little Shrek No, not to do the voice not to do the voice of Shrek no I think what it is is that why it needs to do a one-man show of Shrek I'm a person who's the characters just state who they are. That's the whole show. And this is Shrek.

And see how he awards. So Camerdeus kidnets him and takes him away from the thing he wanted. Presumably, it's a movie where people make a lot of assumptions. Yes. There's a certain arrogance to their assumptions. And like, here's the best place to hide a battery. In a statue, that is my name. And then, oh, you know what? This guy that I've spent like a week and a half getting to know,

he must be crazy about me. Crazier than he was about his high-paying job. But he's been doing it for 20 years. Yeah, that allows him to give his pension to his family. Not pension, just sweepstakes winnings. It's his pension in the form of sweepstakes winnings. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, there's also like a lot like a weird number of things that happen in this life or death like gunplay like spy game. A lot of the things that happen are this life or death like gunplay like spy game a lot of the things that happen are Motivated by people's hurt feelings. Yes, it's seen early on where like Tom Cruise gets really hurt

that That Cameron Diaz would be at all Interested in going away from him, you know like this crazy person who is kidnapped him and then like he's like slamming the drunken as car and then like camera did as a feel sad that she's made tom cruise to be a person who can have it like feel bad and so then she goes along with him and like really really that's you know i'm gonna keep going my kidnapper cuz i insulted him and later camera did is turns time cruise in

because she overheard she follows him and sees him at a rendezvous with a woman and overhears him saying oh that that woman's nothing she's a nobody and that hurts her feelings like it's not very good to think like oh maybe i'm being protected by him yeah no she goes to prove that she's not a nobody she's a stuely she goes all show him she's a rat him out yeah i'm not gonna get stitches for it i will mention also that uh... tom cruise his name is clear the same way that they clear tango and cash

his name and tango and cash which is by blowing up the bad guy and the evidence well also there's he has a private island and there's a plane that is shooting out his private island. Yeah. It's a tiny island. And then he gets in a helicopter and he drugs Cameron Diaz before they fly off the island. So then she blacks out as do we.

And then when we wake up, we're all in a hotel. And what I love about that and why I love this movie is I don't need to see the crazy CGI Fight between a plane that has super guns and a little whirlie bird. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see How he got off the island. Nope. No. What I want to see is what kind of thread count? No, no, what I want to see is what kind of thread count is on those sheets. You want to see Karen Diaz taking a bath and setting up the glasses for the champagne. She's going to have a tongue cruise. Yeah, although actually I think after she blacked out this time she woke up on a train. Oh, maybe that was it.

In which case you get to see her dramatically order breakfast in the dining car. Yes, which you might think again, okay, this movie seems to be promoting the Rufy lifestyle, but waking up on a train, that like, I'm sure there's a lot of Rufy action where you do wake up on a train, but it's like a subway train. This is a classy train. It's the Orient Express. It's the one that goes to Hogwarts. Yeah.

Yeah. You didn't notice in the background background Rupert Grint walked by Give a wink The There will be a wizard There's a lot of scenes that get gapped out of Tom Cruise checking into a hotel room with a with a sleeping woman on his shoulder Or bringing her on to a train. You just have to assume that they exist in a world where it's commonplace for a man to drag a woman around.

It's a caveman world, but everybody date rapes. There should be a crawl meeting that says it is the year 2021-25. Date rape has been legalized and now you're filmed, night and day. Night and day rape. Oh, Mr and Day. All right. Night and Day, Tray. Oh, Mr. Miller. I see you got a lady with you. Slip to Arufi as we all do in the future

where it's legal and accepted. That doesn't look like your wife, Mr. Miller. It's not thanks to Jack's roofies. Okay. Should we give our final test? Yeah, we've let this run a little long, which good, but we'll use everyone's time to finish the contest Yeah, we should we should wrap this up and we wrap it up with final judgments Where we say where this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie that we actually kind of liked and

Ellie, I'm gonna let you start off I'm good. I going to surprise the listening public by saying this was a movie I actually kind of liked a little bit. Yeah, it's pretty stupid and not particularly good, but it like some of the action scenes are kind of fun and there are a few jokes that are okay. And overall, it's just kind of a light adventure movie. Yeah. As opposed to what we usually watch which is torture so no I'm gonna agree with you I'm gonna say I kind of liked it I think if I think maybe if Cameron Diaz wasn't in the role it might have been a little bit

better I don't know I think it had the it had the potential to be a very good movie if it had been cast differently and kind of written and shot a little differently but the concept 20 minutes were cut and it went through another screenplay pass, maybe. Yeah, surprisingly the concept of an ordinary person caught up in spy hijinks is not a bad concept for a movie. Spyjinks. Spyjinks, if you will. I copyright them working on this good.

Spyjinks. Why, what do you say for you? I would say that this movie was Murph Goldman's Citizen Kane. Murph is the his first name. My own Murph. And his name was Mangold. I'm sure Murph Goldman, whoever he is, is very happy to hear that. And I'm sure he'll cast you in his next film.

If Murph Goldman's listening, if at his next film if Murph Goldman's listening If you have a listener named Murph Goldman, please write him you will win one of our vague contests. Yeah I restu-ish Jewish money It's your old pal, my old man. So you liked it. I planned to make you guys watch it again. No, right now. No, yeah, still on the TV. And if you want to come watch it with us, come on down right now. join us in the screen of tron 8,000 where we screen all these movies It's all been catered by Jack's roofies once Fedko vodka

The only vodka that robots drink Because robots can't get roofy. I think of vodka. If you guys receive a bottle of spedcavaca, or some sort of sponsorship, or roofies, via the jacks. You receive a sponsorship by either jacks, roofies, or spedcavaca.

I expect A to be invited back, thanked on air. Yeah. I don't think that's going to happen. Yeah, you'd never know. New contest. If you work for Svetka Vodka and perhaps you work in marketing and are looking for something to brand your vodka or the other way around. vodka and perhaps you work in marketing and are looking for something to brand your vodka or the other way around you know what the hell I'm talking about

if you if you know them if you're personal friends with that robot that has a woman's face and a weirdly human butt in the commercials that was the story robot yeah it's weird I will say one thing I did like about I got a thank for robot night and day was actually a lot of Tom Cruise's performance No, it was actually really good because he seemed like he was playing a kind of cartoony version of Tom Cruise Yeah, so which was nice. He was not playing a it wasn't like tropic thunder Where everyone was like oh Tom Cruise is amazing and it was like this is not a good performance. This is a really

Sticky. Yeah, he was doing a joke version of his persona and that was kind of fun I thought he was kind of like the Tom Cruise in. Yeah, he was doing a joke version of his persona and that was kind of fun. I thought he was kind of like the Tom Cruise in Magnolia, because he was really positive about everything. I mean, the Tom Cruise in Magnolia was a horrible person. Yeah, so is a guy who has a body count of over 58 people in one movie. That's right, I counted. How's he sleep at night with all those bodies? They're ghosts that are... He arroupies himself.

Yeah, that's the only way you can. And then he takes a sip and then he goes, down I go, and then falls asleep. That would be great in a spy movie. If you see the spy, like, you see a lot of death in this line of work. That's why I drink. That doesn't look like whiskey.

It's rufies. It's how they call it rufies. I'm gonna get any sleep tonight. It's by rufing myself. So don't touch my butt. Who was he talking to? He's on the runway. He's like touch anything you want. just stay away from the exit door Exit through the gift shop if you know what I mean Stay away from a bank see Okay, so very quickly what are we doing now our final segment just If there's a movie that we've seen recently that we would recommend Although we all kind of liked this film, but I don't think we would say like run out of watches

I wouldn't recommend it, but I would like. So on TV maybe. Yeah, if you're sick, but it's on TV and whose line is anyway as a rerun, then I would say Night and Day is a fine way to spend an hour and 50 minutes. While you're prying that that army man from your year, um, 9-day. Hey, the girl! But no, if there's a movie that we saw recently that we really actually wanted to recommend straight up, this is the time for recommendations, Elliot, do you have one?

I do, I'll try to keep it quick. This is a movie I saw actually just finished watching yesterday. Say Japanese movie from 1959 called Tokido Yatsuya Kaidan or the Yatsuya Ghost or the Ghost of Yatsuya or something like that. And it's a really good Ghost Revenge movie. I didn't know while I was watching it, but it's apparently an adaptation of the most famous Ghost Revenge story in Japanese drama. There have been about 30 different movies of it.

This is the one from 1959 though. And there's a lot of good like, it's in color and it's this really nice like vivid color. There's a lot of good like it's in color and it's this really nice like vivid color There's a lot of good like spooky moments in it the ghost is very ghosty, but there's a lot of blood for a movie from 1959 and it's just a good samurai ghost movie, you know So if you're looking for one of those if you're looking for a samurai ghost movie and I don't know why you wouldn't be no then the If you're looking for a samurai ghost movie and I don't know why you wouldn't be No, then the 1959 version of Tokaido Yatsuya Kaidan is when I recommend I haven't seen a lot recently, but I watched the movie The Last Exorcism Which I enjoyed a fair amount

It kind of falls apart a little bit at the end, but there've been like a spate of sort of fake documentary horror movies. Yeah, too many. And, but a lot of them lean on the whole sort of like fan footage thing, which you know, works well. I feel like the beginning of the movie doesn't make that much sense as the movie continues. That's what I felt when I was watching the Bearwrench project. Sure. But this, this movie's about, this movie is like more of a traditional

documentary style it's not being sold as a fan footage it's like this this guy who is an exorcist who has lost his faith and wants to expose exorcism you know for as a scam and like these are like sick children and need help and so he really wants these people to come along and be filming him. And but then he encounters obviously something that cannot be explained in his cynical worldview, an actual sort of actual demon possession. And it was pretty good for most of it.

I liked it. Team Witch. Yeah. Team Witch. Team Witch. Teen Witch. Teenage Say a witch. To say a witch we made a teenager. It's like human centipede, but for teenagers. Disney made it. Demi Lovato's in it. It's a German scientist going, I'm going to make you into a teen witch. And it just means just having them lie down between pieces of red. Yeah. Zach Efron, you are going to be the meat of my Teen Witch.

Oh no! And Raven Simone, you're the pickle. So Teen Witch. Teen Witch. Other than that, you were talking about Found Footage. I will, a movie that I like, that's kind of a Found Footage movie, but it's not a horror movie and then bias because they are co-workers, but it's also a very good movie. It's Cooper's camera that Jason Jones, co-wrote and Jason and Samantha B. Star in it. It's kind of like a found footage, National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. I really liked it. It takes

place in the near distant past. We like what video time? I know what 18th century. Let's go the 80s. But for Christmas, family gets a video camera and then we kind of follow the story through the eyes of the video camera that's being used by the kid through the eyes of the video camera that's being

Used by the kid in the family and I thought it was very well done It was a lot of a lot of fun Dave Foley News radio's Dave Foley kids in the hall kids in the hall Polk her. Yes He's in it and very funny Like I said Jason Sam both great Sam was pregnant time so Technically their baby Fletcher was also in this movie although he's uncredited probably breaking a lot of child labor laws Definitely definitely a lot child labor laws being broken Yeah, Mike Beaver is who co-wrote it with Jason.

I haven't seen that one. I saw another movie that Jason and Mike Beaver made called Hammond Shee, is that I like. Oh, okay. There are two struggling actors. Oh, okay. He's about a teen witch. It's about a teen witch.

There's a scene in it where Jason's character has one line in a cop TV show. We're supposed to pick up a phone and say, it's for you and hand it to the lead detective. And he so irritates the other people on set that they rewrite it so it's just the lead detective picking up the phone herself. But I'll have to check that one out.

Yeah, check it out. Cooper's camera, it's called. Cooper's camera. But it's also known as Cooper's Christmas in America. I think in Canada, because they don't celebrate Christmas, they call it Cooper's Camera. Um, Cooper's Boxing Day. Yeah.

Absorbed. But, uh, but check it out. But if you're in, uh, but if you're, but if you're more interested in art house type movies, Teen Witch! You're saying it as if it's a horror movie. No. Teen Witch is not a horror movie.

Teen Witch, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Teen Witch! You're saying it as if it's a Metallica song. Yeah. Well, this is the, this is the, this is the not our movie. Teen Witch. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da like that's metal show. It's called, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's called don't worry, be scary. It seems like worry.

But don't scary, be happy, doesn't make any sense. But worry, worry, be happy, don't. So you're interested in the aqua-pella metal genre nettle pellet all right guys well thank you thank you so much for coming in being a guest tonight thank you welcome

it was my pleasure you're welcome only thank you and why thank you sir for coming no thank you let's start watching night and day let's not do night and day. No. Well let's sign off and do that. I've been damn a coy. I am Ellie Kalen still. And you don't know who I am. I don't know.

Yes. Win the contest. Win the contest. You get a freeze agnot bar. Good night everyone. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Good night everyone. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh- Look, that's really, Stuart and I always do. It's like some reason there's always turns into this me out. Yeah, it's easy. Cats are the world's best singers.

And best songwriters.