The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #91 - Zookeeper

Episode Date: November 21, 2011

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 6:43 - We introduce our guest host, Hallie Haglund -- Daily Show writer, Dan-and-Elliott friend, and Elliott's office-mate --who regales us with embarrassing KalanTales.6:44 - 42:50 - Kevin James tries so hard, bless his giant heart.42:51 - 46:00 - Final judgments46:01 - 58:37 - Flop House Movie Mailbag58:38 - 1:02:57 - The sad bastards recommend1:02:58 - 1:04:40 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In this episode we discuss Untitled Kevin James Animal Prattfall Project. Okay, it's Dan McCoy. I'm Elliot Kaelin in the number two spot. And I'm Hallie Hagland in the number three spot. So that's, yeah, that's Halle. You may have noticed she doesn't sound like Stuart. No. Our usual co-host. He do.

Pretty good. Pretty good Stuart. Dan, why is this Stuart with us today? Well, he just got married. So I assume even though he got married on Sunday, which was four days ago, that he is still consummating his marriage yeah well he is a dynamo he's a sexual dynamo if there's one thing that we

know about steward yet the sex amount uh... but a pokemon if you will yeah but uh... that doesn't exist how you're right well now there's a pokemon but it's in it's in the and the end it's not a tropical is that where the beach boys are seeing the pokemon the Yeah. Tropical. Is it an island on the lake? No, I, uh, it just seems weird. They would say Bermuda. Is it just their like house? Did they name the Cochamel?

No, I appeared in a Shakespeare in the park production in Cochamel, Indiana. What play? What play was that? Like, uh, 12 nights. Who were you? No, no, but what would, what would you do the first? Where you in Viola? I played Fabian my friend the director the director's She needed someone to step in Because that is so condescending to call it the director's yeah, come on I'm glad we have a woman on the show today to slap you two around. Oh boy. So that's what we're going to be dealing with today. Audience is highly haggling the feminist activists. So Stuart, Stuart is basking in his wedded bliss, which is lovely.

But are you coming on to his wife? Is that what's happening? No, his wedded bliss is lovely. His wife is hideous. Okay. I'm just kidding. She's a beautiful woman. And it was a wonderful wedding. It was the gayest wedding I've ever been to, and I've been to several gay weddings. Yeah. I feel like we should talk about it, but I feel we probably shouldn't save that. We'll wait for Stuart to return. Okay. Well, well fans, so get, so you'll have to buy your time till here the steamy secrets of the Stuart Wellington Neb Shwells.

Yeah. And Lou of Tales. And sorry ladies, Stuart Wellington's off the market. Yeah. Sorry, Halley. I've never met this. Sorry, Halley. And so let's introduce our guest host tonight.

Yeah, and Lou of Tales of Stuart's wedding. Halley, why don't you tell us a little bit about your show? That is one of the laimer horror comics. Tales of Stuart's Wedding. Wheelboys and ghouls. They went to Port Shriekos. And more tux shriekos. That doesn't make sense.

Okay. Maybe touch screen. They did not wear it. They did all wear it. I think it's important I think you can at least tease the stories To have everyone know that you guys for Tuxedo Speedos. I did I did

Dandit this is actually something that's come on the show before if you go to the flop house wiki Someone has already put in an entry for Tuxedo speed. Oh, okay. We'll get to the flop house wiki my friend. Oh, okay We will get there, but let's introduce our cohost, Halley Hagland. Who's Halley Hagland? Hi. Say something about who you are. I work with Dan and Elliott and I share an office with Elliott and we all hang out sometimes and what just joke around and stuff. Oh, yeah. We have a lot of laughs. So finally, we have a flop house that's all writers for the Daily Show. Yeah. I guess we had that once before when Wyatt was here. Well, I was, I had not gotten

the job. Oh, that's right. You weren't a writer yet. We finally replaced all the nine writers on the, on the, of the Daily Show on the flop house with writers for the Daily Show. So, Halle, you tease this a moment ago, but you share an office with Elliott. Yes. Which is to the point because... What point? You know, you may think that you're here to talk about a bad movie, but actually, I brought you here to tell embarrassing stories about what it's like to share an office with Elliott. When he's eating barbecue, he asks me if it's okay if he takes his shirt off because

he doesn't want to get it. Same as his shirt. I wear an undershirt. It's not like I'm sitting in my office naked from the way stuff eating barbecue. One time we farted and he said, excuse me, I farted. I didn't think it would smell this bad. I don't remember that. It happens.

I know that and L and also once I was so mad that I slammed my phone down so I broke any broke it. Yeah, well he didn't slam it so hard He didn't break on the first time he just slammed it down and then slam it over and over and over again down and that's what broke it. Yeah, no, I'm gratified by any tale of Elliot misbehaving at work because it makes me feel better about my own moodiness. Yeah, oh yeah, you're a real troublemaker at work. What with you being quiet and sitting in the corner. And always remaining so. Yeah, I mean, Elliot's got some serious rage issues. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm sure.

I'm grumpy. I'm not angry. Yeah, if we were dwarves, you'd be grumpy. And I'd be angry, who's not really a dwarf. And Halle would be girly Girl dwarf. No That sucks again. I'm taking you to task for your sexism. So what dwarf would you be? I get grumpy too You can't have two grumpy's I'm cool dwarf. That would be steward and he's not here

What the fuck? Well you guys get you got what should I be? I don't know. I mean already suggested girl You didn't want to be that delightful dwarf Like you can be sneezey. We can all agree that you're sneezing. I do sneeze Sometimes just to get a tissue. No I'm so alone like it's no one will give me a real name. So should we it's like a munch house in my proxy situation except for your your actually pretending to be my self. I'm poisoning yourself. So should we talk about the movie we watched?

I don't think so. It really wasn't. I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning. It is not. It never is. Dan what movie do we watch tonight? We watch the movie called Zookeeper. Not the Zookeeper? No, just Zookeeper. It sounds weird to have a title that's Zookeeper and not the Zookeeper. Because the movie's about a Zookeeper, right?

It's like Prince. What's about, it's really about the occupation of Zookeeper. It's really about what it means to be a Zookeeper. They shouldn't be called Zookeeping. It should be called zookeeping for dummies. And who was the star of this film? Miss, Mr. Kovina James. Mr. Kevin James, star of Paul Blart Mall Cop, which was a previous flop house.

Yeah, you weren't there for that. I missed that one. Brock said in for me. Brock Mayhan. Your counterpart. Yeah, I like to call him the Gentile Ellie Kaelin. Actually, Dan Coise, the Gentile Ellie Kaelin. Yeah, I'm the gentle Ellie Kaelin. Yes. My healing touch. So, zookeeper, should I mention briefly what the plot is sure why not zookeeper stars don't be fooled by the summary on Demand because it's inaccurate. Yes, that's true

It starts Kevin James who you may know as the unelected king of Queens He was dain't by God to be or named by God to be the king of. This father was the King of Queens, so it only made sense. He inherited the title. Kevin James is a zookeeper in Boston. I don't know if they actually have a zoo in Boston, but they do in the movie. Sure, they must have, they have a zoo everywhere. It not everywhere. I mean, they have more than one zoo in New York. They have what to

They have a Bronx do the one in Central Park Central Park zoo Brooklyn's doing the prospect park zoo. Yeah That's three. It's pretty good. I mean, I don't know why you have to fight her on this She said they have to do is everywhere. I mean, not in this apartment. Where? I mean, there's a camp here. Can you're from the smallest town? Do they have zoos in Urika? The smallest town? You're in the smallest town in the country. Urika, Illinois.

Uh, no, we don't have a zoo there. There's one in Peoria, which is half an hour away. Fascinating. Anyway, Kevin James plays the zookeeper. You're wondering whether zoos will play in Peoria. The answer is yes. So if anyone wants to open a zoo in peoria there is a customer base but you will we'll have competition it's already established zoo there so

Kevin James is a zookeeper in Boston we open with him riding horseback on the beach with his girlfriend is Leslie bib Leslie bib lovely even horseback on the beach with his girlfriend. He's Leslie Bibb. Leslie Bibb. Lovely. Even lovelier than his wife and King of Queens. It makes even less sense than King of Queens that he would be with us. And Leslie Bibb, Ares, to the Bibb, let us fortune. And he proposes to her and her.

To the Bibb, you bibb fortune. Well, it's weird because you know she got that name because you probably dribbled food down up a lot of her body all the time, but we don't see it in the movie. They must have had a bib handler. So Leslie Bib is his girlfriend and he proposes to her on the beach, she says no. It turns out she doesn't want to marry a zookeeper. This is the first instance of anti-zookkeeping bigotry we will see from Leslie Bib throughout

the movie. He is heartbroken, cut to five years later. He's still a zookeeper. He talks to all the animals. Wait a minute, he hasn't learned his lesson? He hasn't learned his lesson. Still a zookeeper. Still loves his job, which was his main failing.

And... And has a coworker, Rosario Dawson. His coworker Rosario Dawson, whoer Rosario Dawson who's a zoo doctor Who for some reason he doesn't seem to realize Doc doctorus would not be the Appropriate Well, there's the old there's the old riddle about the lion that's in the car accident Right and the end the doctor says I can't operate on this lion. It's my son

And it turns out that the doctor is also a lion. It's a bit of a scam. Yeah. And it is lion get their men's medical school. I mean, there's a lot of extra. He probably just put on a polo shirt. Yeah. And it was a costume. This movie shows that you saw this movie. You'd get that job. Well, I'll get to that. Basically, his co-workers was errow Dawson, who he doesn't seem to realize is more beautiful than Leslie Bibb. And way nicer and loves him for what he actually loves to do. Yeah, and like zoos and animals. She got an offer from she says to go to be she goes, I got an offer to be at a zoo in Nairobi in Africa, which is for the audience, in case they don't know

where Nairobi is. Which I think is fair because most of the audience is like four years old. Okay, that's fair. But he talks to all the animals at the zoo, the animals seem to love him. He's trying to cheer up a depressed gorilla that lives in a basement, but he just can't seem to get that gorilla happy. He gets him a big tire. That doesn't do it makes him popcorn

He gets him like a big giant wiffle golf ball that he suspends the ceiling that doesn't do it either so But Kevin James's brother is getting married and they have a big party to celebrate it at the zoo and Hear that it's all happening at the zoo now. I do believe it. I do believe that's true It's a joke about it. Yeah, you can't see but I'm glaring at Dan right now. Dan likes to state the lyrics of songs as if that's a joke. I do it too, but when I do it, I don't get mad at myself. That's the main difference because I'm a hypocrite. Kevin James gives a very touching speech about porcupines at the at a party at the zoo for his brother's wedding Until he sees that his ex-girlfriend Leslie Bibb is there bum bum bum and he starts babbling. He can't talk because apparently She was friends with his wives with his future's daughter sister-in-law. Yeah with his brother's fiance

Yeah, and He uh-oh Yeah, with his brother's fiance. Yeah, and He's he's tongue tied around her. He wants her back and the animals at the zoo say we're gonna help him How can they do that because animals talk now? Do the animals have a secret animal language that only animals know? No, what English? Just Kevin James like get hit on the head and suddenly he can hear animals and understand what they mean No, now does he read a book that tells him how to talk to animals? No. Do the animals teach him like a certain special code, like they're like a sign language or

some kind of, you know, emotional based language? No. So how does he talk to the animals? He just starts talking to them. It turns out all animals can talk in perfect English. It turns they were always holding back in in stressful situations, but then at one moment, it was too stressful and a lion just started talking to Kevin James. In the voice of Sylvester Stallone.

I mean, this also raises a good point. I mean, not only that like why haven't animals talked before, but like apparently they all talk English, I guess because they're American animals. I mean, yeah, I I mean we speak English here, but they come from different countries. I assume I mean this is all like wild animals. Some of the animals had a little bit of an accent. Okay. But I mean maybe you've got a natural facility for languages and animals. Here's the thing. If animals can talk. Animals are like sponges. Okay. animals can talk. Animals are like sponges, okay? Especially if you can watch a car with them. The sponges, the sponges very much like a sponge.

Yeah. You know, the animal can get you. The sponge is really the sponge of the animals. The same way a wolf is the wolf of the animals. And the akidna is the akidna of the animals. Here's what the dilemma this move, or the question this will be raised in me. Animals are imprisoned in zoos. They're routinely shot and killed for sport, and people eat them, or keep them as pets,

and demean them. Why don't the animals talk? There's one point where an animal says, like, we can always talk, but we don't do it, because humans can't handle it. It's like, well, maybe if you talked, we wouldn't kill you so much. Thank you for going out of our way,

out of your way to protect our emotions. But you know why the humans can't handle it is because you talk so rarely. If you talk all the time, I think humans will get used to it. As a line cup, I was ripped from my mother's womb and then they shot her to death. Then I was taken and raised by humans in a 10 foot by 10 foot enclosure. And humans gawk at me and throw peanuts at me. And I'm going to die here. And we probably feel a lot worse about doing that. We probably think differently about animals. They were talking to us all the time. It's

like my mother was killed and I live here in a zoo and I hate it. But you know what? I don't want to stress out these humans. Let's not inconvenience them for a moment. I just won't talk ever. Yeah. So anyway, but the animals decided they're going to help them win his love back. He they the thing is, I don't really get that because it seemed like at first they were kind of worried that she and he were still interested in each other because they knew that he would leave the zoo if they got together. Yeah. Since she hates zookeepers. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't well. Well, common hatred of zookeepers that all women share. We.

The one career path that women are like, this is a dead end. You are, you are a slug. I mean, like, oh, caring for all these animals. So if there's one thing I hate, it's a man who can show love for animals. Because women hate animals. Yeah.

Well, zoo becoming a zookeeper is a lot like becoming one of the the night watch or whatever they called the wall watchers in the Game of Thrones series. You just say goodbye to your family to the idea of children or women You are just in the brother. You're married to the zookeepers now. Yeah, the zoo is your family now So the animals decide they're gonna teach him the animal ways of Becoming of mating with people and all the animals talking like sassy ways like they're all really sassy but so like the bears they're all basically just trying to imitate black people yeah basically and it could be as I say we're watching the movie it could be seen as kind of racist that the animals all have these

very ethnic accents and it's like yep ethnic people are like animals and white people like Kevin James are humans but uh and yep ethnic people are like animals and white people like Kevin James are humans but and the ethnic people are just there to help the white yeah it's like you know it's like Matt you know bagger vans or something but uh but an animal version I'm not calling bagger vans an animal except for a golf animal just a guy in the original golf animal But most of the lessons that Kevin James gets taught make him a GANNEMO Golf it's like the animal but he also plays golf it is off terrible television

It's a man who can turn into an animal that can also play golf Terrible television. Yeah, it's a man who can turn into an animal that can also play golf Or a man who can turn into a golf club. I guess I don't know why animal is in the title but uh He the ways they teach him had act like an animal mainly make him look stupid in front of other people Like the bears teach him to walk around and yell a lot and a wolf teaches him to pee on things and stuff like that Which like a bull frog teaches him to squat and pull up his neck. But he has to be a total fucking idiot. So I think that these are going to be effective to apply these lessons in actual life.

I mean, he said, yeah, he's at the, what is it? The engagement, the second engagement party. This wedding has a lot of events. There's a big party, the zoo, then there's a banquet party. There's a party at the restaurant where he pees in the potted plant. He pees in the water plant, and the matriety says, sir, do you not see there's a bathroom 20 feet away? And he goes, yeah, well, I do whatever. And the guy and the managers like made a deal. He's like, all right. Well, enjoy your night. That was because the lot of the wolf had just tied him to pee and he that was like a way of drawing

I mean this is like it also and also he does this in a room full of people in a restaurant No one seems to care or notice the cake. This is a catered event guys like the customer is always right in the situation I don't think so. It's not like you did in our in the middle of an actual like regular restaurant You know like these are these are people who've been hired to attend your every whim. So when you hire caterers or you rent at a room restaurant, is just anything ghost? Yeah, sometimes I hire caterers just to pee in front of them. Really?

Just to show my, to certain my dominance, but you've got to sit here and watch this. I'm paying you, you're going to see me pee. But theoretically, wouldn't all the caterers then fall in love with you? I mean, according to the Wolf's lesson. No, because it doesn't work quite right. Also, it turns out Leslie Bibb has a boyfriend,

the puffy Joe Rogan, who is super competitive. He kind of looks like Boris from Rocky and Bowlingville. Like his face is so fucked up now. Joe Rogan, I mean, you know, Joe Rogan, you know, that's not... Are you afraid he's listening? I mean, I don't want to attack him needlessly. I mean, I enjoyed him in News Radio. You know, he seems like a...

He was great in News Radio. He was so much better looking man. Frankly, he's not bad here. Like, he's playing the part of like... He's full of aggressive jerk and he does it well. But his face has puffed up significantly. Yeah, at first I thought I had misidentified someone in Joe Rogan, but he his face has puffed up significantly. Yeah, at first I thought I had misidentified someone in Joe Rogan, but it turned out to be Joe Rogan. As I said,

was watching he looks like a villain and a guy richy movie now. He's got that gin soaked sort of face. Yeah. He should be hiring Jason Statham to rob a bank. Yeah. So it turned. But not bad. them to rob a bank. But not bad. These animal rules are not really working so well until the end. But in the meantime, he's like pretending to go out with Rosario Dawson at the actual wedding. They have a good time together, but he calls, oh, I forgot to say also that he took the gorilla to TGI Fridays, but Very Pivotal Pivotal, but I think we should we should we should return to that because that is key moment He the lion tells him on the phone

That he should alternate being a jerk or a nice guy to Leslie bib I missed that team I thought he was really just acting crazy. No, the lion told him to do that. Oh, so he does that He does act crazy. He comes off as total asshole, but Leslie Bib loves it He just he starts changing into a different person If it's the thing is less the secret and more like he's just like an erratic sort of drug addict All of a sudden or something. Yeah, he suddenly starts insulting everybody He changes his personality for a moment to moment. He says things that don't make sense and he quitsits his job at the zoo and takes up at his brother's luxury car dealership. Oh wait, but I have a question again about the the scene and the wedding. Yeah. Remember when he called her hammer thumbs? Yeah. Was that a

reference to something that happened earlier in the movie or were we just supposed to know that she was really self-conscious about her thought? She was just being needlessly cruel to her. He was just thinking of insults. And that was the only thing he could insult. She was really self-conscious about her thoughts. He was just being needlessly cruel to her. He was just thinking of insults. And that was the only thing he could insult. She was holding something at the time. Yeah. So I think he was like, oh, I'm seeing your thumbs, hammer thumbs.

This is after he's had a lot of fun with those Aero Dawson swinging around on Structe Soleil banners at the wedding, which involved him smashing into the bride eventually in an ice sculpture. And his brother's like, no, the bride's fine. It's like this huge man like slammed into her legs. But I guess it's a, it's basically a cartoon in this movie. So at this point, Kevin James has become insane and is very erratic and talks in a weird way and dresses in like a black suit.

And we were saying that while watching it like they must have cut out a scene where he's just sniffing, he's just snorting so much coke up his nose. Rails of coke. He basically turns into a coke addict. Like it's the scene, what is it? Is it Carlitos way where Sean Penn just sticks his head in like a huge mound of coke? Like that's what I imagine.

Longs family films, so they can't show that. Long story short. He should apply it. A Kevin James goes to the zoo. He's already working at his brother's card dealership. Yeah, and it must have been for like some time. He's already established that like he's the shark at the card dealership. Like he makes all the deals and he uses the things the animals taught him to

like be the alpha male the card dealership. But he goes to the zoo and he says, Rosary Dawson, I was one of you for the first one on leaving the zoo. Now he's to the zoo and he says, for Zary Dawson, I would want to do the first one on leaving the zoo. Now he's already in a suit, having just come from work. So, he just keep calling him sick every day. How he pointed out the timeline of this is very fucked up because he, when we see him making like real shark deals,

yeah, at the card dealership. And then he shows up back at the zoo saying like, oh, I'm sorry that I, you know, like I haven't told you I'm gonna leave. And then, but then he goes home. He goes home to Leslie Bibb. They've apparently been living together for like three. Yeah, they have like a well-established life,

you know, they're talking about their plans. So you have some bought furniture together, and terribly. They live together. Yeah. They lived together. Yeah. And then it's almost like the only way it could be more extreme is if he showed up at work and was like, by the way, guys, I'm quitting my job. And then turns to Leslie Biven was like, let's go buy grave plots.

You know, we're married now, right? Well, then later on in the movie, not to jump too far ahead, but once he realizes the error of his ways, he returns to the zoo and he's still wearing a zoo uniform. Apparently, he still has this job. I don't know how. But the security guard is like, hey, what are you doing over there? You're not supposed to be over there. So it's like he got dressed up in his old uniform. Oh, wait.

Was he saying he weren't supposed to be there because he didn't work there? That's what I was just because it was like an area you weren't supposed to be in. Which is weird because it was the parking lot. Like, he, it's like fine for him to go in the cages of the wild animals, but the parking lot is off limits. The animals are just have the run of the place. They can leave their enclosures whenever they want basically, it's like a Montessori zoo.

Like, it's just very easy for them to get out. And Kevin James just walks around with them all the time, but Long story short he realizes Kevin James realizes this isn't the person I want to be Leslie Bid proposes to him and he turns her down gives a speech about how this isn't the person I want to be gives the same speech That he gave to her five years or gives the same speech that she gave to him five years ago when she rejected him on the beach Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, this isn't going to happen. It was verbatim. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. That's true. But then also a couple, I skipped a couple times when she said something about like, you really grown. I thought you'd never get rid of that zookeeper stuff. Here you are. Or like, you know what, you've got so much potential, but you're zoos the zoo thing You really got to put that zookeeper job behind you that job that I'm pretty sure you need a study Like it's some sort of veterinary school

Yeah, like there's one day when they're hanging out and and he's and she's like I want you to come to because she's a buyer for sex That's what she's yeah, that's her job and so she's like I really want you to come to my fashion show tomorrow during the middle of the day. It's really important to me. And like, Edna Normohi, when he's like, Oh, I've got work at the zoo. And she gets really upset. And she's like, you and the zoo thing.

I thought you were past it. It's like it's a fucking job, lady. I have to make money. And then- Like a woman hates hates hates going out with the guy whose job allows her to see animals up close like or that she's shocked that he has a day job that he has to go to regularly. So long story short he breaks up with her he finds out Rosario Dawson has accepted the job in

Africa and she's going to the airport tonight. But she was also admitted to another co-worker that she has feelings for him. Yeah. Which makes even less sense than Leslie Bib having another co-worker played by Ken Jong who has to be in every comedy now that's made. Yeah and he's like the party guy. Yeah. Wait, so tell me what else he was in. He hung over movies. He was a doctor. He was a doctor in knocked up. Okay, yeah, there at that. He's in community now. He's in community, that's what I'm thinking.

And he's on to actually go off in to promote community. And by afternoon, I mean the one episode of Tuxedo, I've seen this here. June, we kale. Co-worker, June, we kale. He was a real doctor, I think. They're good friends, I think. I like to think that all of the kids are good friends. Just because we're good friends, and we work together, doesn't mean everyone who works together is good friends. No, I think they're good friends. I think I like to think that just because we're good friends and we work together

Doesn't mean everyone works together. No everyone in Hollywood is good friends. They're not actually you bought into the hype The hype is terrible apart. They hate each other. They're all back and Kristie Ali are good friends Wait, what about in Hollywood? I mean, I mean, I'm in the Hollywood You mean New York? Hollywood East. We call it Hollywood East and the visit. H.E. or he. Very different from East Hollywood.

We call it helium. For sure. So he's got a cat Rosario Dawson. It is beyond... Wait, I have to just clarify something because I'm afraid that there are people who actually pay attention to everything that said in this podcast I know because that most people are driving or cooking or drunk, but you guys have people who Document on Wikipedia the things that's true. That's true. Well, I threw out of fact that I heard somewhere

But I don't know if it's really true was that guy actually a doctor before King John. Yeah. Yeah, he was a doctor. Oh, John Apetta was a doctor. Right. Okay, so I was right. So he was a stand-up at the same time, but yes, he was a doctor. Oh. Just like our buddy Shubin was a lawyer before getting into the comedy writing. Oh, yeah, true.

Yeah. And he never shuts up about it. Oh, God. That's a lot of love. I mean, habeas corpus. Tell me about it. I mean, right? Starry, starry. Now, let me, let me, we'll get, we later, maybe we can talk about how inconceivable it is that Kevin James did not realize that Rosario Dawson is attractive. That seems inconceivable to me, but we'll get to

that. First of all, let's flash back. They rub dirt on her face so she looks like a vagrant. They barely even like tire hair, like usually in these movies that give you glasses and tire hair back, nothing. I mean, she has her hair tied back sometimes. Yeah, but it's extra long and flowing. Yes, but they show her, they show her all dressed up for the wedding and he's like, what? Oh, no, you're too beautiful. Yeah. I never noticed. The worst, the worst you see her

is in a uniform and let, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to, Hallie, I don't want to, you know, let you into the creepy male mind too much. You mean the creepy pervert's one, David? But, you know, a uniform is a fetish object for a gentleman seeing a pretty attractive woman. Oh, sure. You know, it's not like you're not like, oh, gross. Oh, the blue collar workers. Like, you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, some sort of regimental. You should know how Lee Dan is pervazoid number one

and talks openly about his fetishes in the podcast. I heard Dan makes his wife dress up and his zookeeper's uniform. They have a sex game called Feeding Time. Take my temperature, it's called. Anyway. Oh, I don't like that. Too much. And she serves him a pale of wet apples.

She gives him a tires wig. And she's like, hey buddy, like this. She shoots him with a trunk dart and then undresses him. She hits him with a stick that has a nail on the end, which brings us to an important plot detail. Okay, let's explain. I mentioned there was a gorilla living in a basement and that later, gorilla got away. And we didn't even we totally brushed over the fact that Donnie Walberg of New Kids on the block is this is the gorilla keeper. Yeah I'll tell you my first concert that I ever went to was New Kids on the block and my how Donnie has fallen. Speaking my wife you should talk to her she was a big New Kids on the block fan.

One of one of her proudest moments as a photo letter was meeting the new kids. Is that another game you guys play? Yeah. You know, new kids on the bed. Yep. I said, I you know, I switch out from each new kid. One by one. I'll leave another night. What was their Donnie Sneezey? Yeah. Gorgeous Gorgeous George Gambit, Danny professor X Jordan, John and Joey. Michael Valentine Smith, Bilbo Baggins, Aliezer Mordekai, love other names, Buttercup, Donnie Danny, Joey, Johnny,

George, those are the most generic names. They're not. They should at least be like, you know, Raven Darksword and like Wolf Silverblade. They were like 13 when they started being... Even shadow thieves. They didn't need a gimmick. The gimmick was their kids, I guess. Yeah.

New kids on a block. Not just a block. Anyway, do you want? Let's wrap it up in a bow and just say that you know Rosario Dawson and Gerilla the gorilla's overtime. There's a gorilla that lives in a basement Why apparently everyone thinks he attacked his keeper? No, Donnie Walbrick turns out has a stick with the nail on it a stick with a nail on it that he poached the animal's way It's amazing that sips and I have a boy with a nail on it and it's amazing. It's like that Simpson's episode. I have a boy with a male live.

And it's amazing how many parallels are between this movie and rise, and the much better rise of the planet of the apes in that there's a illustrated gorilla. And yet this preceded it, which means that everything in rise of the planet of the apes was informed by this. That zookeeper, that rise of the planet

is actually a remake of zookeeper. There's a reimagining of zookeeper. And so Kevin James gets the gorilla to open up, they become friends, the gorilla says, tell me this, it's TGI Fridays, it's good as it sounds. And then one night. I totally missed that also.

I did not really understand why they were at TGI Fridays. Kevin James gives him a polo shirt. He says, For some reason, knows about TGI Fridays and thinks that it sounds great. Yeah, do you think Donnie Walberg told him about TGI? He must have. Just be talking about just eating bullies.

Yeah, you're like, whacking them with the board with the mail and he's like, Oh, TGI Fridays is so great. I wish you could go there, but you can't stupidity. They got my sister's plates on the walls. You can get French fries. And they go, you're never going to get, you're never going to experience that ape. And so as a way to get the gorilla This is for people only DJI people DJI FFP that means thank God. It's Friday for people only DJI FFP. Oh

And no gorillas DJI FFP. Oh And G A&G First I guess there was hope in the girl who's like primates and he was like no people So Kevin James I guess for word the gorilla for being a gorilla like to get him out of a shelf By the way the gorilla's voice my nick nolty. Let's just say that. Yeah, he puts them in a new Wait, okay, I haven't even explained what happens. I just want to clarify for you guys that I was totally confusing Nick Nolte while we were watching this movie with Gary Bucy. Gary Bucy and I was like, I can't believe he laid down this work.

Like, I can't believe. Can't believe he held it together long ago. You know, where that gorilla costume This is maybe this is a rich fame for him. He doesn't have to he can show him in his pajamas And just like go into the boys. I mean that's fair for Nick Nolte also But no, I realize Nick Nolte is also a shambling wreck of a man Yeah, he's a living warning for every people sexiest man alive Bradley Cooper watch out You could still turn into Nick Nolte. Wait was Nick Nolte a sexiest man alive Bradley Cooper watch out you could still turn into Nick Nolts. Wait

Was Nick Noltsy a sexiest man alive? Oh, yeah, oh boy back around the time Prince of Tides came that's what I was gonna ask was he The one from Prince of Tides, okay, but that was when okay, go ahead I mean that was when the apex of human beauty was Nick Noltsy and Barbara Streisand I feel like ever since I made the Joe Rogan comment a YouTube edit in we're operating under the premise It like famous people listen to this show To insult someone I'm like backing away from it like I was about to be like oh, but that's when Barbara's dry So it was a sex symbol and then I was like oh no, she probably Listen to what if babs here's this she'll never talk to me again

This is probably obsessed with the plot house. She. She's been really updating the wiki a lot. But anyway, so he dresses up the gorilla in an Izzod yellow polo shirt, no pants. And that's up. Yeah, no pants. They go to, it would really tell those stumpy legs. He'd have to wear like shorts for a fat guy. They go to a whole hulk shorts.

They go to a TGI Friday is where he doesn't walk up right first they drive through town singing along to the Apple bottom jeans boots with the first on and that yeah and which the gorilla knows all the words to somehow yeah then okay it is a very good dancer yeah they go to TGI Friday's and yeah and he's still walking around like a gorilla and but they say they say, we'll just tell everyone you're a guy in a suit. We came from a costume party. Everyone buys this. This amazingly realistic gorilla suit where the mouth moves and he has a tongue and everything. So then there's just like, there's not suspicious when you order 30 oranges.

Is 30 oranges and then there's like a four-minute montage of them just having a great time at t.j.a. Friday's. They're dancing with women because apparently this t.j.a. Friday's has a dance floor. They're playing. There's a good tour. That they break over the bar. It's a point. They play pool, which I've also never seen in a t.j.a. Friday's. The trailer holds up like eight of the t.j.a. Friday's waitresses. That is using his guerrillas strength. And then drops them on the floor. And the last thing you see when they're at TGI Friday is a woman slow dancing with the gorilla

and she goes, I'm so glad I met you. And Kevin James gives the gorilla like a, yeah, way to go. Yeah, the gorilla gives Kevin James a thumbs up. And it's like, wait, Kevin James, aren't you disturbed by the applications here? Like this woman, you know, maybe once she goes gorilla home. Right? It is like how far are you gonna let this go?

But it's like, it's the TJ Friars you only see in TJ Friars commercials where it's like a bunch of people who just got off work like partying as opposed to what you really see, which is like a bunch of people buying cheap ribs. Yeah. You know, with their families. It's margaritas. Anyhoo, so I didn't mean to bring it down, but if this bizarre little scene in the middle,

it's almost, that might be the moment when the movie gets super crazy. And every scene after that is Kevin James being crazy. I think it was the onion that said this movie might be about a zookeeper who loses his mind and thinks animals are talking to him. But anyway, at the end, Rosario Dawson's going to go to the airport. They have to get to her.

The gorilla and him. He at first jumps on the back of an ostrich to ride that to Rosario Dawson, but of course, he crushes the ostrich and it gets dies. But the gorilla goes with him. But we never saw that ostrich before in the movies. Who doesn't matter. We don't care about that. I mean, that ostrich is a dangerous thing.

That ostrich may have been a visitor at the zoo. He was just there to see the animals. The gorilla helps him get to his area of Dawson by first kayaking him to the bridge across, I think, the Charles River. No, they did a first driving. Well, first they're driving in a van. First they decide they're driving in a van, but, but it somehow makes more sense. The gorilla

will drive. The gorilla. Then the person. And he immediately crashes the van into a car. They chase switch places. They get to a traffic jam. And they're like, Oh, no. So the gorilla hurls Kevin James over a fence. Then they get into a kayak. They're swimming in the water. No, they're not swimming in the kayak. They can't. Then the gorilla climbs up the side of this bridge with Kevin James on its back. And again, it's just like rise the plan of the apes

where the gorilla is going to be on a bridge. And you're like, no, gorilla, you're going to die. This is terrible. You're going to try and you're going to take down a helicopter, but it's going to be awesome. Trust me, but you shouldn't do it. But instead of stopping when they're climbing on the bridge instead of stopping like at the level that the cars are where Kevin James could very very like safely and easily intercept the

Trapping jam where Rosario Dossett is stuck in they like climbed to the top of the arc as Kevin James is hanging on the grilla's back and like the grilla gives him a pep talk about like just be yourself and then makes him fall and then shrugs him off on to the taxi. And he says Rosario Dawson when Eagles made for life this is a callback to something else they blah blah blah and they kiss and then the gorilla. Oh, they link it. Cloth. I mean that was what the blah blah blah was for you said they kiss Kevin James Rosario Dawson kiss Okay, did they kiss they totally did yeah, I do think they kiss that's how you show your in love with someone in a movie The gorilla falls and slams and life Ellie. I don't know what you do with your wife But you they just lock down We lock talent going to a death spiral. And then we pick up a

bowl or a field mouse and get that eventually regurgitate the pellet. Yeah, sure. With the fur and the bones. And then like, we donate that to a science class and they pick it apart. So the romance, you know, love the gorilla drops onto the hood of the car. He's okay, I guess, and Rosario Dawson and Kevin names like we should get him back to the zoo because Kevin James is very laks animal care policy. Does not bother Rosario, Dr Rosario Dawson at all. And I guess, and then they at the zoo and everyone's happy again. And that's it. The end. The end. And then love conquers all the credits. The animals all sing along to more than a feeling Maybe the worst thing ever. Well the only part that was fun about it was when

Share had a measure because you know, she can sing it was funny here is share thing. Oh, yeah Share was one of the lions also. Oh, yeah, I thought it was the girl from Star Wars, you know, we didn't go through, I mean, like, there were, I mean, we've mentioned some of them, but... Big name, boy stars. Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler was a monkey. So that's just alone. John Favreau was one of the Bears.

Judd Apatau as an elephant. Well, he sounded more like... My Rudolph was a giraffe. Oh, yeah, my Rudolph was a giraffe. It sounded like my Rudolph was a cold. Was a giraffe. It sounded like my Rudolph with a cold My Rudolph is terrible terrible and experienced Like my Rudolph is half black isn't she so

So it's okay that she's doing a terrible Yeah, and she gets her insurance from a flag Drugs a half track big big big star Jim Brewer was the the pro yet about the apple how amazing that event if he was the crow like brand and leave the crow resurrected i mean the character not and i'm also uh... out and

i guess that i was doing like a eugen merman impression as the elephant yeah i don't know what you do it with the way it was terrible at the best the best voice, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the as a partner, Sylvester Solon had failed her so much. All of her lines were about like, all he did was sleep all day. Yeah, what a bad house. I mean, I think the thing like the reason the Sylvester Stone was actually good was he just approached it as any other role, where he was just like, okay, yeah, I'm a lion. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'll just play this part, whereas everyone

else was just like, I'm gonna do like irritating voices. They did very irritating voices. I think every day thought they were being cartoon animals rather than really. Because they would have made much more sense, I feel like. I think also, Sylvester Stallone, I met him when we were watching a movie, has struggled with making his voice comprehensible. He can't move his mouth entirely. So, it's like, he is everyone else is just like, I can talk like whatever

I'll just talk and do a crazy voice whilst Vestalon I think when he talks thinks about am I coherent like what am I getting across? You know just speaking is it is a triumph for him? We should have watched Oscar remember that movie His big comedy head I love that I Think I saw that like three times in the theater. Okay. Well, we got it. He was the only person who saw it at all theater, maybe. We got to wrap this up. We've actually been going long. So we wrap it up with, uh, Hallie, we make our final judgments.

Was this a good bad movie? Scarifyingly also. No, no, we're stupidly scary. We're out of, we're out of Shocktoe. We're scary dumb. No, no. This is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie actually kind of liked Ellie, I'm gonna go to you first. Oh, this is hard. You know what? Really this was a bad bad movie, but There are it was got it went so off the rails at times that I'm gonna call it a movie I actually kind of liked not I mean it wasn't good it was really bad and I didn't enjoy it but I did admire the fact that it made no sense and if I feel like if this was a movie that was made in the 30s I'd be more willing to overlook its faults and

enjoy how ridiculous how ridiculously nonsensical it is so I'm gonna go I'm gonna be very generous with it. I'm gonna go halfway between good bad and move very kind of lights because like the thing is like I wouldn't recommend I wouldn't recommend. No God knows I would not recommend it and even though it's like it's a family movie There's a lot of like it's not a good family movie. There's a ton of like sex jokes and... It's very confusing for children. And it might encourage your child to jump into an animal's cage at the zoo. Yeah, I just start rapping with it.

But there's weird stuff that I laughed at, like I genuinely laughed. I mean, Kevin and James is doing his damnedest to make this work. And it's a weird movie where like... He really tries to sell those crappy jokes. Yeah, and this is a movie about talking animals that really wishes it was not about talking animals

Like they really don't play the toy animals the less there to the movie has almost no talking animals in and that's when it gets really good Yeah, it's funniest when it's not about talking animals because then it's to Kevin James should do a movie like Where he is a crazy skits a frantic guy wasn't that the mall cop movie? No, that was to serve and protect the other mallcott report. Observe and report, whatever, I don't know. The Seth Rogen mallcott movie where he was like crazy. Oh. And Paul Blart, he was just clumsy. Oh.

Howdy, what are you? They should have called Paul Blart Zookeeper. I thought I didn't really enjoy it for much of the movie. But I did like when it got so weird that I was engaged because I was trying to understand what was going on. And I liked that it had really famous people who were involved with it so that I could judge them. You know, for a bunch of nobody's in a war bad movie, that would be a waste of time. But when it's a bunch of successful people failing, that gives me some sense. I should feel kind of good. Yeah. So I'd say it's, you know, I wouldn't recommend anyone

seeing it, but it's like, good, bad. It's like, don't go see this, but don't burn every print in existence. Right. Where we've seen movies where it's like a damn pays for it on pay-per-view watch it. It's a very specific. I don't know.

But don't offer to chip it. I don't know that. So it looks great in HD. For some reason. So we're in, I will say Kevin James, looking great these days. He's really, he's really slimmed down. He really has. We're running a little long, so I'm going to, I'm going to do only a couple of letters.

No. Sorry. We're running a little long so I'm gonna I'm gonna do only a couple of letters. No Sorry, so this this first one says this one's from You're taking up time with your us. Sorry Anthony J Drexel Biddle I know him just kidding Last name was Bill some while he bells himself as the fightinist millionaire. Okay. So, uh... He's rich. This, uh, this email is titled Attention Bullie E. And it says, Hey Squirt, yes I mean you, Elliot Kaylin.

Well. It has come to my attention that you are suffering the overrish attention of one John Hodgman. Drill. Now I have been a long time listener to your podcast, which is quite good by the way. Pat yourselves on the back. Wait, not you, Dan. No, you nor you, Stewart.

Why do I hold my, withhold my proxy batpats? Because you have failed in your duty as friends and comrades to protect Elliot's person and honor. Were you not aware that in Middle Eastern culture a blow from a person's shoes with the lowest of insults? Are you ignorant of the principle that enroving Elliot of his Ironman figures? Hodgman, Rob's, Kaelin of his Iron Man hood? Oh, I see. This is a reference to, uh, For shame.

In a recent AV Club interview, John Hodgman revealed to the world that he bullies me and uh, once through his shoes at me, which is true in Stole Iron Man, then rebellion off my desk, which is also true. I was there. I let him do it. Yeah, this you step behind to, to say nothing. First, Hodgman came for Elliott stuff. And I said there. I let him do it. Yeah, the few step bind to it said nothing. First, Hodgman came for Elliott stuff. I said nothing. Then he came for Elliott.

I said nothing because I was not Elliott. Then when he came for me and there was no one left. I don't think he'd be interested in coming for me. That was so worried. He continues. Since I see you. This is also an interview about John Hodgman's new book, which is very funny.

And it opened with... That's the name of the book. Yes. It was an interview about his book, which opened with two questions about a movie screening series I host and him bullying me. Yeah. It didn't make sense, but it was good. No, no, it was good. It was good publicity for the LA, Kaelin Brand.

Yeah. Got to get it out there. But no, he continues. He says, since I see the infamous Mishir Hodgman promenading on the Unginavie Club, even as Dan speaks, clearly you have not taken the necessary action to write these wrongs. Wrongs, nay, these injustices, cry to the heavens for re-justicein. So it falls to me. I shall become the Registener. Frank Castle with witnesses family gunned down by mobsters.

I also witness Frank Castle's family gunned down by mobsters, at least thrice in various movies and comic book adaptations. Yeah, I've seen that a lot of times. So clearly my super heroic bonafides are watertight. Not only falls to you, Mr. Kalin, to let your wishes be known. How shall the deed be done? Shall I second you in a duel? Play some harmless prank, gun him down ruthlessly? No. Neal behind him while you administer a sharp push from a for him?

Better, but probably not. Administrator Hong Kong cocktail? No. Please consider carefully, because my initial adventures will plot the course for all future readjustedings. I await your instructions with anticipation, your pal. So. Well, thank you very much, Fightinus Millionaire. At the moment, I'm going to have to ask you to stand down and not take action, but I will let you know when the time is right to reap our revenge on one Jonathan Hodgman. I appreciate your support. And thank you

for writing in. This is from John from Omaha. John Hodgman? No. It's titled John Last Name with Held. It's titled Overrated Directors. Does it ever annoy you when you see a movie you thought was all right but critics overpraise it and or the director? I'm thinking of Seinfeld's own Elaine Venice going insane, which he feels she's the only person who hated the English patient.

A recent example, people comparing Jason Reitman to Billy Wilder after just three movies. Yeah, that's garbage. I don't think Jason Reitman is a horrible director. I thought up in the air was an okay addition to the white people with problems genre. Very mediocre. But would you really place it or his other two movies next to the apartment? No. Do you guys have your own examples of directors of recent movies that don't merit the accolades? Keep on them. Please don't select Paul Haggis or Dennis Dugan. They obviously deserve all the praise from Cahay Ducenema. Thanks for the laughs. Dan, why don't you start off the intro in this one? Because I don't have one. I thought ready. Howie is there a director that you think?

I don't know anything about movies. Do you want to say something about horses? You have horses in your t-shirt they are wearing. Well, we're thinking you know. I'll come back to, well, Ellie, you feel the director's question. I mean, I feel like nowadays almost every director is overrated to a certain extent. The superlatives just get thrown around so easily when a commercial can just label someone who is made

to American movies and like a crap load of Hong Kong movies as a visionary director or something like that. What about Clint Eastwood? I love Clint Eastwood, but I feel like I'm annoyed that every time he makes a movie, it has to be like the great myth that American movie. And they're not, they're usually fairly mediocre now. Yeah.

I think a lot of like up in the air, like Jason Wrightman gets compared to Billy Wilder, because they're just looking for something. Some guy who made similar types of movies that were like comedies that had heart in them, but it's, I think, you know, it just doesn't match everyone in quality. I think, but this is kind of a disjointed answer. I mean, standards have fallen very far in terms of movie making in the United States and elsewhere, so people have kind of lost their ability to tell really great stuff from not. The fact that when Return of the King came out, there was a quote in the commercial and commercial quotes are garbage anyway. They have this quote on the descendants commercial now where it says, an American masterpiece. It's like,

like that's stupid, doesn't make a hate when they put American before stuff like that. But the return of the King quote in the commercial said, never has a director aimed higher or achieved more. It's like do you mean more just fucking guys running at each other with swords on the screen or like more orcs because many directors have aimed higher and achieved more like Woody Allen never had any huge battle scenes in his movies except for love and death, but he aimed higher and achieved more than you know Peter Jackson Peter Jackson. Who I like a lot did. You know, I feel like everybody gets hyped up too much these days. I feel like it's a shame that he pulled Paul Haggis from the consideration because I feel like

that's the ideal kind of... Except I think Paul, it's just very easy to criticize Paul Haggis. All right. Well, I mean, we've criticized Ridley Scott before, but I don't understand why he... Why he's considered like a master filmmaker? he seems to be free pass he's been he's been coasting on kind of his early science fiction movies for a long time yeah Steven Spielberg you think Hallie sings Spielberg and you know what she's whispering it so she doesn't get any recrimination you know what I'll back Hallie up on this Steven Spielberg has made many great movies but but he's also made many mediocre movies. And we kind of have to pretend that every movie he comes out with is a beautiful poem to American.

What? I don't know something. And it's he's made a lot of movies that are not so amazing. And what has he made recently that's amazing? I mean, if we're talking about coasting on your really early successes, I at least feel like My affinity to him is all based in nostalgia Well, yeah, I'm like what can I see of his new movies that reminds me of his old movie? The world is really good. It's easier to pull out like, but that's not necessarily new I think that I think that's that's the easier thing is like to pull out directors who were once I think that I think that's that's the easier thing is like to pull out directors who were once Much better than they are like I have an affection for Robert's amecas based on you know

Like back to the future Roger rabbit Remains in the stone used cars. I think those are all like really good movies except no one says that his recent movies are any good Just one of the guys That's not a Robinson He direct great bikini off-road adventure visible maniac I would say when it comes to directors who are given too much praise all of them. Yeah I feel and it ruins them to a certain extent. I feel like a director like David Fincher gets a lot of praise he doesn't always deserve and it ruins them to a certain extent. I feel like a director like David Fincher gets a lot of praise. He doesn't always deserve and it, you know, it ruins him to a certain extent. I mean, I think that if anything, becoming a professional writer, as I mean, if the director is

not the be all and all, like, there's so much collaboration that goes into anything that gets broadcast. Yeah, you're always going to have a point person I guess. That's the thing that it bugs me when I go into movie into a book source and they have screenplays for movies and it has the name of the director on the screenplay, but not the writer. Like it'll be like stage coach, the screenplay, John Ford. It's like, we didn't write that.

Come on. Well, it's interesting that like for you can be a consumer saying that like for you can be a consumer of movies and have such a like anyone knows big name directors and I think like most people don't know the people who wrote the screenplay. It's not it's something that like you you seek out that information and you know what if you're passionate about it but it's not something that like is public knowledge. It's not as part of the mainstream of an experience of a movie for the most part as a director or even a big producer is.

So I'm going to say overrated Jason Wrightman, answer and jet apatown but Edgar right deserves everything he gets so This final email of the evening Is From Jordan last name with hell Michael Jordan and it says Dan. I'm writing you this email is a warning to you Even though it may cost me my life. You and Stuart need to find a way to escape the maniacal machinations of your co-host,

Elliot Kaylen. What? You know, doubt are aware of Elliot's- Registinator, get this guy. You know, doubt are aware of Elliot's funnier dive video that he created in early October of this year entitled Help Make Elliot the Next Andy Rooney. Yes.

As you may be aware, Mr. Rooney died over a month later. Clearly, Elliot's fever desired the next Andy Rooney, as you may be aware, and Mr. Rooney died over a month or so later. Clearly Ellie, it's fever-desired to fill Andy Rooney's chair when unanswered for too long, and Ellie decided to take matters into his own hands, slaying the beloved TV icon in pursuit of his goal. My primary concern now is for stewards and your safety. I feel that Ellie will make demands on both of you someday, and if you are unwilling to comply,

you will turn up deceased or missing. Possibly. Before you choose to dismiss me as crazy, ask yourself this. Elliot's new bride certainly had a bow prior to dating and then marrying Elliot. Does anyone know where he is now? Of course not. We men break up with guys all the time. Because Elliot vanished him as he stood in the way of his desires.

And while I don't know this for sure, I would be willing to speculate that the person who used to hold Elliot's current job at the Daily Show may have vacated that position due to outside influences or pressures. Yes, that she went to get a job at Parks and Recreation. Namely, Elliot's unending stream of subtle and overt threats. No.

All right, I'm for the new girl. Very popular network show. Whatever you do, don't read this email on the air. Well, oh, oh, don't read this email on the air while Elliot is in the room. And else he may force his hand by exposing him for the cold-hearted Macavellian monster he is. And he may lash out right there and then best of luck, Jordan, last name with. Okay, two things. One, yes, Andy Rune died shortly after I requested his job.

I think that's because Andy Rooney realized there was someone else on earth who could continue his legacy. He could pass on the torch and finally give up the ghost literally. In peace. Exactly. Saying, good, there is another one and I no longer have to shoulder this burden anymore. Please God, release me into thy thy hands I command my spirit. And that's what he did. Secondly, don't you try a thing, Dan, or I will destroy you. Okay. I wish you could see his face face. Stuart's not here. How much you can see? He will have one week with his new bride. And when that week is up, my wedding present is a week of peace.

I should have said three weeks. That says how long the ghost of Phrumasera gives a title and laser wolf in Phythra on the roof. All right. Anybody? Anybody? We need more Jewish co-hosts. So we are running very late. Let's do a speed round of just naming a movie that you saw recently that you would recommend that you liked you enjoyed you thought was a good movie better say than Zookeeper. Let's be tough. Better than Zookeeper. Do you have a movie highlight because if you don't I can go first. You go first. I watched Red State recently. I'm not necessarily at this point late date a Kevin Smith fan because I think that he's too good. He's gotten, I mean, he was always lazy and he's gotten a lazier.

Wait, the man who does public appearances in a bathrobe is too lazy. But Red State is actually the best directed, I think, of all of his movies. It's very interesting. Faint praise. No, but it does not feel like a Cavitzmith movie. It feels more like sort of like a lesser quittin' Tarantino genre exercise. And it's got a lot of great character actors in it.

It's got Steven Root, it's got John Goodman, it's got Michael Parks, Melissa Leo, It's got a couple actors from Breaking Bad, the Wondiply Scaler, and the guy was Badger in it. It's just a it's a it's a interesting movie. It gets a little preachy, but it does things that you would not expect from it, and it's on Netflix Washington, so I would recommend checking out Red State. I'm going to recommend a comedy from the 30s called The Octopus, which is a, it's about an hour long, it's super goofy, it stars among other people, Hugh Herbert. And I can't

remember anyone else who's in it, but it's really silly, it starts out kind of like a suspense thriller and there's a giant octopus and tentacles and an evil criminal and murders and things, but much of the movie is Hugh Herbert being scared by things and reacting in silly ways and it's really funny and it has a really one really great makeup effect at the end that you don't see coming and really one really great makeup effect at the end that you don't see coming and then it has one of the craziest endings of any movie I can imagine so the octopus I think is out on DVD now so go find it. If you don't have anything maybe I will I will permit you to recommend like a TV show or something else if you don't have a movie off the top end. Wow that is so condescending. Yeah come on just because she's a woman she can't recommend a movie off the top of the head. Wow, that is so condescending.

Yeah, come on. Just because she's a woman, she can't recommend a movie. Oh, she's a recommend trick. Serious, serious. Hailey, though, if you can, I've got lots I can recommend that that's okay. No, I'm trying to think if I'm remembering that there is one movie that I'd like to recommend that I'm sure everybody

knows. It's called The Cutting Edge. It's a nice movie. No, but it was probably made around that time. But I'm trying to remember if I remember the right name of it I am just one of the guys. No, I'm experiencing I want to recommend baby's day out Because I saw okay What what is dangerous beauty when I say dangerous beauty is that the one about the

Okay, then that's the one I'm thinking of stealing Okay, then that's the one I'm thinking of stealing No, I'm thinking of the Tyler loses virginity and tuscany. No, I'm thinking of dangerous beauty because the other day I was walking to my subway stop and I happened to pass Rufus Sioux on the way there Dark City's Rufus Sioux and dangerous beauty is Rufus Sioux. I had my wisdom tea taken out when I was about 15 years old and one of the movies my mother rented for me was dangerousous Beauty and I will tell you if you have just had your wisdom to take it out that is a very challenging new movie. So you really recommending the experience of having your wisdom teeth pulled and then seeing dangerous beauty. That one guy is in all of her plot. That's the one guy you're referring to.

You know, I think anyone's ever said that one guy all over the place. Take that to the bank guys. He might have in movies one is respected, right? He is, yeah, he's a good actor. So he was in that. I mean, he was in Dan's favorite movie, Bullworth. He was in the... Catherine McCormick.

Dan's other favorite movie was Blastid. She was in Braveheart and she died. She's starved. She gets to do a lot more. They showcase her a lot more. You don't kill her off. Yeah, spoiler alert. Okay guys, well, I mean this is I hate to cut the short but this is been a lot of fun. Cut this short longest episode ever. But it's been great to have you, Halle. Is there anything you'd like to promote, Halle? You want to plug something before we go?

You don't have to. We're all going out to dinner. I don't plug that. It's a private event. If I can plug my next movie screening in New York in 92-I Tribeca is coming up on December 7, the 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. We're going to be showing the Scarlet Empress, the craziest of the Joseph von Sternberg Marlene

of Dietrich collaborations. It's a really amazing looking and amazingly insane movie. And my guess tonight will be comic book artist Michael Cupperman, you may know from Snake and Bacon's cartoon cabray or Tales Design's Thrisel or his new book about Mark Twain that just came out. So that's December 7th on at 7.30 p.m. 92. I try Becca the Scarlet Empress. Okay well I'm gonna say good night. Do you have anything you want to promote Dan? I want to I want to promote the end of this podcast. Coming soon to a podcast you're listening to. For the flop house I've been Dan McCoy.

I will continue to be Elliot Kaylen. I'm Halle Haglyn. Not everyone. Baby, boo boo, faba. Bore dello, I'm blood, god, back. Google, beep boop. Beep boop pop, gaga, googoo baby robot. I hope you keep it on this.

This is gold. Alright. you