The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode Ten - Good Luck Chuck

Episode Date: February 25, 2008

Comedian Ritch Duncan joins us, to talk about Good Luck Chuck, starring "comedian" Dane Cook, in a poignant film about love lost, found, and crotch-biting penguins. Meanwhile Dan makes a plea for exploitation filmmakers to stick to their guns, Ritch explains when to allow a bird to ingest its own feces, and Stuart encourages our audience in an act of vandalism against video stores across the nation. 0:00 - 0:32 Introduction and theme. 0:32 - 1:35 Welcoming special guest host Ritch Duncan, stand-up comic, and former editor-in-chief for Jest Magazine, and former writer for PRI's Fair Game and Comedy Central's Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn. 1:36 - 41:00 We upchuck Good Luck Chuck - a movie which, by the way, is about as unfunny and unpleasant as the first part of this sentence. 41:01 - 45:35 For the very first time, a movie manages to break the Final Judgement segment of The Flop House. 45:36 - 54:02 The sad bastards recommend. 54:03 - 55:12 Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes. Two notes, one good, one bad: The GOOD: I've discovered how to compress these files further, so that, going forward, the shows will not be monster 80 MB downloads. Sorry about the size of previous episodes. You'll note that this one, despite being nearly an hour, is a svelte 25 MB. The BAD: This episode has an (extremely, extremely quiet, but still noticeable) constant stream of background chatter. I do not know why. Most likely, the headphones for my TV were switched on, and near the mic, while recording, so that we could not hear this ambient noise during the session, but it got picked up on the podcast. Sorry about that -- it won't happen again. In the meanwhile, why don't you pretend that you're listening to this episode on old-fashioned terrestrial radio, and what you're hearing is the next channel in the AM dial bleeding into this one. It'll make you feel like you're on a long road trip with your parents... except that your folks are inexplicably listening to three foul-mouthed guys kicking a movie while it's down. Enjoy!

Tonight on the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wolleyton. My name is Rich Duncan. Fuck you, Dan McCoy. Yeah. Rich is a little bit better than I've enlisted him because he really didn't like good luck Chuck But let's give a little introduction to this week's guest host rich a

Stand-up comedian of many years a writer for TV and radio former editor-in-chief for just magazine New York City's only and best humor magazine for a while there. Let's stretch my credits as much as we can. Sure. Well, we've got some time to film. Thank you. It's good to be here.

I'm happy to be here. It's been, if I had to watch this wretched fucking abortion, I'm a movie with anybody. With you two guys, it would move you with anybody. With you two guys, it's actually been some laughs and it has been... Actually it was awful. Fuck you. Right.

But there... Yeah, let's... It's only a boiled plant. I want to start off by saying, like a movie on the flop house, maybe this one will be good. It's become fashionable among stand-up comedians to badmouth Dane Cook. Sure.

Now, Rich, you are a stand-up comedian. Would you like to jump on that train? Well, I would like to jump on that train a little bit. I don't think Dane Cook is a good stand-up. I think he's an able stand-up. I'm not going to jump on the train and be one of those guys that says he's awful because he's successful. I admire the guy's success.

I think he works hard. He's got a tremendous work ethic to way. He promoted himself. It's great. I think he found himself to be promoted beyond his skill set a little too soon. Does that have a lot of energy? I see him running around on stage. Well, here's what bothers me about this movie in particular.

Should we get into, do we go to private TV? Yeah, let's give this a little more. Or right into the movie. Yeah, okay. To begin with. The thing that bothers me about Dean Cook in this movie is he is, he is poor in it. All right, he's not, he's not, he's not good.

He's not good. He's not good. He's not good. He doesn't have a lot of money. He doesn't have a lot of money. He character has a tremendous amount of money, which is never really explained and we can get deeper into that. But he does not do a great job in the movie comedically. However, the movie is also directed so poorly that on the several occasions when he does something where you go, hey, that might not be my cup of tea, but that was a good piece of physical comedy, the director then cuts away from it, which means that not only does he suck,

but he can watch the movie and go, see, they ruined it! And he's right. Well, I, you know, the movie does lay their lifeless on the screen. I looked up the director. So I'm a jerk, poop, from another review. That was Jonathan Rosenbaum of the Skywriter. Lies their life on the screen. But no, I looked up the director. This is his first feature film. That's a big shocker.

You don't say. Before that, though, he was an editor of some note. He's probably his best credit that I saw as he edited Predator. He edited, probably well, that's in film. Yeah. He edited a lot of not good movies. Predator? Well, that is in film. Yeah. He edited a lot of not good movies. That's a great, striking distance.

Okay. The animation was film. For a while, I think that's probably an intro to it. Quite a few movie circles and women just got a nice rhyme to it, much like the luck chuck. Hi. On the editor of Predator. It's on the Predator editor, I think it's probably the...

I'm Predator's editor. Yeah, I am. People like things that rhyme. That's what we learned from Go Blackjack. It's also, I mean, I don't know how I'm gonna talk about this immediately. But I think this movie's kind of like the nail in the coffin of Hollywood's use of the name Chuck as a comedic name. Chuck or K-Sound in general. Specifically, it seems like Shuck sound.

K-Sound oftentimes very funny. Yeah, but Shuck in particular, has become popular. I mean, for instance, I don't pronounce you a Shuck in Larry. Yeah. Mm-hmm, do. The NBC television show Shuck. That one didn't occur to me first. Yeah, no, you wouldn't be able to talk about Shuck. Well, but went to check it out. I was talking about Chuck.

Well, but that's the funny thing. I was going to say, my wife was chatting with me on the internet, perhaps you heard of it. And she was saying, what movie are we going to watch for Plop Out? And I said, well, I mean, we're going to watch Good Luck Chuck. And she's like, is that the one with Jessica Alba where she has really hot body? And I said, yes, but I think that actually based on our last block out you're thinking of I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry with Jessica Beal.

So we talked about having an attractive figure. Also has the name Jessica. Yeah exactly. So the similarities Chuck is in the title of both films. I can see how she would make that confusion. Now also on funny sex-barsers. So, I mean, I can't say that. I haven't actually seen that movie. I've sought to see The Trailer. I talked to Frank Lesser, who wasn't pleased with it.

Yeah. Pleased with The Trailer of... No, the actual film. Yeah, he actually saw an app around me. It's very... The game had its films. film apparently it's written by Well the original I mean I'm I'll get a pain and I'll send her pain wrote the first draft of an Alec for actually checking Larry

Which made my time to want to see it I assume though since then it was made into it was it was 80% sandal Arized you know sure they put it through the sandler machine. You know, the little Mickey machine. Like we need to get that guy from came queens in here somehow. In hitch. Yeah. He was a delight in hitch, dancing like a white man.

So, yeah, so then you were trying to chuck the name chuck. I don't think it's funny. No. I don't find any humorous about it. It does rhyme with fuck. We're talking about rhyming. The block is for, it is the bucket list. That's true.

That sort of sounds like the, the bucket, Chuck, it's a bucket list. Now the thing is, how are the Chuck? I was at least hoping that this movie would like have at least one scene where somebody says Good luck Chuck Because at least I could be like yay. They said the title they never home Chuck Charlie every time there's not he is fucking horn dog buddy doesn't even call him Chuck at all That is the opposite of good night and good luck If we get somehow good night and good luck. Let's try it. If we

get somehow good night and good luck Chuck, that's fantastic. Every woman Ed Burr-Murrah sleeps with goes on to get married. I also, I don't know if you realize this is a piece. We cannot defend freedom at home abroad by defending it at home. SFX, fart noise. By the way, that's over our Moron joke. Constituts the entirety of my written material. It's a podcast. Speaking of stand-up, Richard's whipped out his little notebook, his little stand-up notebook. I also have written the words, I don't know how it's going to tie in Uncle Buck.

What's going to get in there, it's gonna tie in Uncle Buck. What's going on there, Mom? It's like a little time, Mom. But, uh, well, why don't you move your Uncle Buck? I think that Good Luck Chuck is a sort of esoteric play on the idea of a Good Luck block, which, um, uh, didn't even, you know what that didn't even occur? As we were absolutely right. The, uh, the premise of this movie, I went Edward we're absolutely right. The premise of this movie, I went and went on the wrong way.

The premise of this movie was literally expressed at least nine times with the movie. They would continually reiterate what the premise is, which is, dang-cook has sex with a woman, and then that woman goes on to immediately there after meet the love of her life. And get married. Right.

Which leads to a run on a dang cook's wing. Yeah. It leads to a sex montage. Yeah. Really explicit sex montage. But more than one, like they kind of, the message is delivered and then he has sex with a bunch of women and then it's delivered again and there's another montage.

And it's, well all I know is that dang cook was having sex in a lot of women and then it's delivered again and there's another montage and it's Well all I know is that Jane Cook was having sex in a lot of different ways He was having sex in like a sex swing He was having sex with like the woman's legs like over her head, you know like a shower Yeah, more positions than you normally would see in an R-rated comedy and also lots of boobs Yeah, I mean a lot of times you'll get this like even in wedding crashes where they do have a little bit of a montage of Topless women kind of hitting the sheets. Well, you know what in the name of good taste once you've gotten the idea Especially if it's a comedy you I mean the movie opens with a Tremendously brick to it is topless thing. Well, and we did watch the unrated DVD cut

I've no idea what the theatrical cut of good luck check was but we didn't I have to Express that but did the unrated cut didn't have artwork on the front of a woman wearing a bikini bottle Like just naked from the back show it like with their Right or or too extreme or from the internet and the word unrated was across her chest I was hoping like some kind of a cartoon animal wearing sunglasses. Maybe the thumbs up Maybe in an anteater I was hoping like some kind of a cartoon animal wearing sunglasses Maybe the thumbs up Maybe an anteater Should have been a penguin But I would say about that is like if this was

1995 sure and someone was asking me like can you recommend good luck chucked me in any way I would say well the one way I could recommend Good Luck Chuck to you is assuming that Good Luck Chuck was made in 1995. I'd be like, one thing I could recommend to you, it's an unrepentant R-rated comedy. There's a lot of nudity in it and it's definitely like an R-rated sex comedy. It's not a good one, but back in back in the 90s all the comedies were like David Spade is in an PG-13 film, you know. Whereas now we have like Judd Apatow movies or we have you know the wedding crashes which is about just you know one half of a good comedy. It's not great

all the way through but it's got some good stuff in it. And those are old style, animal house style, are rated comedies. So this is too comedy, what say like an Eli Roth horror movie would be to horror. Or a bad deal, I wrote it. Eli Roth has done some good horror movies, but when he goes over the top and it's just sort of splattery, it is extreme and I feel like we came out of a horror era with the scream and the Kevin Williamson and a lot of that. I would go further. Exploitation without exploitation. I'm saying it's like a saw movie. Yeah. At least he's like an otur. Like, oh I can see you like what is the guiding hand behind this film rather than. I'm coming off a bad hostile to experience. No good. We'll talk about that after the podcast.

Now on the subject of Combe's, I don't think I'm gonna be surprising anybody to say that this is a shitty movie, like this is a shitty comedy. That's a point I would like to bring up just briefly. Yeah, sure. Do we expect our audience to have seen Good Luck Chock? I don't know, and sit through it,

and then in the podcast. If they had wouldn't they wouldn't enjoy the podcast. If they went out willingly to see good luck Chuck they probably wouldn't enjoy this podcast which is really sort of shooting ourselves from the put audience wise. But maybe if they've enjoyed the podcast in the past they would say they're going to be doing good luck Chuck. I want to watch good luck. Yeah, maybe they want to watch it and then pretend like they're in the room with us and like get a couple laughs and be like, oh good singer, Dan. You're a funny guy. This shit is the silver lining. If you want to imagine what that might be like, by the way, imagine three guys drinking heavily and maybe steward exposes himself at some point during the evening If all remember to But as I was saying, okay, good luck Chuck is a shitty comedy. Okay, it's a shitty bad movie but the question is

Even though it is so horribly inept is it worse or better Is it worse or better than that this fucking like stream of shitty spoof comedy that come out once a year right after Xmas? Like the- Now you're- You're a dreamy party, you're a movie, you're a date movie. Exactly. Now I'm just gonna- I actually have to claim ignorance. I exclusively am familiar with these movies through the trailers.

I actually- Sure, I've not watched them. Well I have have to say you know date movie was on HBO. Okay. I love Allison Hanigan. Sure. I'm a buffy fan. I like her new show. How much your mother? I like Allison Hanigan. I think she's going further out in the thin ice, but I'm still with you. I think she's cute. She is. And I was like I would like to see Allison Hanigan in a starring role. She never gets to starring a movie. And that's probably why she accepted the role in date movies.

She's like, you know what? Not a lot of screenplayers are coming my way where I get to play the lead. Sure, I'll be in date movie. I literally could make it through five minutes of the film. And I had to turn it off. It made me so upset. Did it make you upset because the movie sucked or because you liked Anna Allison-Hannigan and you didn't want to see her humiliating herself? I think

the second is a lesser concern it was part of it but it was just so terrible. Five minutes? Five minutes. This is a rapid gag movie too, isn't it? I mean it would like to be a rapid gag movie. It one of the most it's all it's all fat soup and Reference based though. I mean, I mean if you are is it one of those movies that when you're watching it You're like watching it by yourself and you start looking around trying to make sure no one else knows you're watching This is so bad. You're like I'm on the subway while watching Thing like I'll be like if I'm in a hotel room or at home, and I put on a movie that's that bad,

like that abysmally bad, and it's up to the comedy, like when I was watching Tom Katz forgot. So, I started looking around, I started hoping that there's no record that I'm watching this, so that like, fucking years down the line, I'll be at a date, and I'll be talking like, you know, like trying to, you know, get in good with my date, or with like her family, maybe. I'll be at a date and I'll be talking like you know like trying to you know get in good with my day

Or with like her family maybe I meet her family for the first time Maybe I'm in love with her like Chuck is with what's just also care to and Like yeah, and I really want to like sell the moment and then like somebody's like, but I found out you watched I've been at least once Like it's one of those moves that is so bad. You're like, I can't believe doing that. Well, let's get, I mean, let's get in more specifically to good with like, Tom Katz.

Well, the last one is a good example of a 1990s movie that you would think should be our rated. You would think that that's like a, like a 90s and nudity and there's nothing at it. No, no. So it doesn't even work on that USA app on night level. like a mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. A mighty legend. a mighty legend. A mighty legend. a mighty legend. a mighty legend. a mighty legend. a mighty legend. a mighty legend. a mighty legend. You've seen in this movie, Fellows? You might enjoy to see that. First four big, exactly 34 minutes in. However, this is the most offensive movie with regards to women. The most upsetting, for me, that's the thing that kills the comedy of this movie the most.

The premise is, Chuck has sex with these women, then they go on to find love. A bunch of women line up and they're like, you know what? I'm willing to prostitute myself to you Chuck one night. If that means that I'm gonna go on to find true love and get married. And get married. Of course all that women care about is that they might get married. They say that one point. Well that's something that's a huge problem with the movie and it's not. It's not that I find it offensive to women. I mean, it is offensive to women, but it just doesn't, I mean, there's lots of believe me. I love a good exploitation movie. Sure, you know, I mean, but they have to have the courage of its lack of conviction. Exactly, exactly. You know, and if it will

go ahead and say, you know, I'm going to be a Russ Meyer movie and fly that flag high and this is going to be absolutely ridiculous and, you know, I'm not going to be a Russ Meyer movie and fly that flag high and this is going to be absolutely ridiculous and I'm not going to give too much into the plots of different Russ Meyer movies that I enjoy and why. But this movie, it claims to be something that it's not and it's that disingenuousness that offended me more than... Right, it makes a hard left turn, you know, about half the way into the movie and starts trying to tug at your heartstrings.

And you're like, wait, do I have to, am I to forget that this movie started out with a woman giving Chuck a blowjob on the beach and there's a long topless scene? And it's a bad blowjob and you're supposed to sympathize and be like, hey guys, we've all been there before, you know, you know when that hot girl's giving you a bad blowjob? Yeah. It's upsetting. Now, one of the things, and this is actually a whole bunch of points we're all in the

one, but there are a couple things that I think we need to touch on. The one is the central relationship between you have Chuck on the one side, who's like this fucking ultimate perfect dude, he's super nice, he has a fucking million dollars or whatever. In the below job scene, breaks up with her because she says she loves him too early. Is that right? He cares about love. He won't say that he loves somebody if he doesn't mean it. Right. And then his good buddy played perfectly to a tee

by fucking Dan Fogelberg is the like ultimate sleazy horn dog who at least once on camera has sex with a grapefruit. More than once. More than once. My mistake. And so while stimulating his own prostate, with like a, like a scrubber, yeah. Looked like it was his thumb, like cleaned it up, I think. So, first of all, so we have these two friends here, okay?

So we have the horn dog friend and we have our hero. Now, a first one, I'm saying the hero, because the thing is, like, I don't know if the riders realize that a comedy, you don't want to have the perfect guy. The only reason this guy's relationships weren't working was because of fucking magic. A fucking magic spell cast on him in the fucking first ten minutes of the movie when this fucking little girl tries to rape this little boy. Let's take a brief moment out to say that the movie starts out with a like a flashback scene to show that uh... they're playing spin the bottle like seven minutes and heaven sort of thing

and this goth girl there are a lot of goth girls around and uh... the i brought to you by mountain do they're a clear point of having to be a mountain do bottle they were spent here and you mountain do was like yes this suit of the video well and the most like the most sexually They were spending their guaranteed Mountain Dew was like, yes, this pseudo-papheleon. Well, and the most sexually veracist and aggressive 13-year-old girl in history, basically. 13 charitable tries to rape Chuck.

And then when he's not interested in it, she puts a curse on him and work to believe that that's why he has all these problems in the future Now when I was 13 I almost got rigged by 13 year old girls a lot Now they're pretty common, but you know what they never were able to cast manual spells on me, dude Well they weren't up. They are all fuck right or Wiccans Wiccans also have that power see I was I was more selected than the crowd I'm happy and she was wearing a pentagram necklace Then later in the movie when he tracked her down 25 years later the Daughter was wearing the exact same necklace Which is how they were able to

Wearing up that and that daughter also seemed to have a desire to see Dean coach penis So I think part of it is like this weird like it's like a cursed necklace almost. I would like to see the story of that. There's a fantastic horror movie going on somewhere in there. Hey what's the story of that necklace huh? But you were saying that you expect like the hero in a comedy I think to be a little more flawed. Yeah that's a fun wall. Other than to be really like gesture heavy and have a bad

complexion. So not be dang good. If you take there's something about Mary for example, which I think is the model though these kind of companies are based on. You've got a guy that is genuinely awkward with women and then you know, like basically like a bit of a stalker. Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like, you know the thing is, I try to analyze this movie and I just get so fucking angry. Your voice modulates a lot when you get mad. Like you get like really worked up over here.

Well, but on the other hand, we got his friend. It's like they took Booger and they took everything on up, like they like ramped up everything unappealing about him like booger was like a Hornie best friend with like character. Yeah, we're a little bit of honor. Yeah, well also they left it to the best friend Over and over and over again to present the premise of the movie Nech was this is the truth of the movie yet they tried to get laughs from the fact that this guy was such a scumbag. Oh yeah, so therefore if the guy is such a scumbag That would mean that other he says things that routinely are not true, which is why they're funny and also you can tell They're not true. They're evil. They're wrong. That's why you be laughed sure

You can tell you he's a scumbag the honest premise of the magical film. Yeah, you're off on the wrong foot I guess what I'm saying is good luck Chuck is a flawed film. You can tell that he's a scumbag by the way because he is a cosmetic surgeon who specializes in giving a boob job. I guess a guy that's not available for his movie job, so they had to go with boob job or introducing him as an adult for the first time and having a candle spill all over dain coax crotch and his first reaction is it looks like com it looks like com i'm actually going to jump right in here yeah got actually that was i think one of two times that i actually genuinely left her in this room. I'm not saying that's tremendously unfunny.

What I'm saying is if that is not enough evidence, this guy is a certain level of juvenile. You have to also back that up, you're like, oh, and what do you do for a living? I make boobies. Well, also a pretty good impression of him. you do for a living. I make boobies. Well also, we're introduced to the guy, the first time, by the way, in that original flashback scene, because, as you know, from your own lives, clearly rich, you know, the people that you were friends with when you were 13, you're still best friends with now. That's just the way it works. That's the way it works in life. Even if that person is completely sleazy and you're the ultimate nice guy.

And the work right across the hall from each other too. The better for hygiene side. I probably went to college together too. Maybe there were roommates right out of college. That's just the way life goes with best friends. The only way that this, their relationship would work in this movie would be if this was the movie version of a sitcom that had been going on for 25 years where the characters miraculously go to college together and you just go, all right, look, it's the show. Well, I would buy the whole thing if at the end of the movie, the big reveal is that they were in love with each other.

But they'd just been kind of like they're expressing their love a whole time. It's definitely kind of a game movie. There's a lot of uh... Well, and don't get us wrong. If it was a game movie, it would probably be a much better mood. I mean, you do get to see uh...

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and uh... day and cook because he's a nice guy goes through with it because you know guys fat people meet charity bucks that's basically the uh...

the message of good luck things that every once in a while, not always, but every once in a while, really fat people, actually, like they're actually beautiful on the inside. Rarely, as also a bit later on in this movie, we discover that it's horribly fat woman. Also, it's kind of mean and a really bad eater and flatulent. Flatulent, yep. Has very few manners. Yeah, I mean that woman didn't deserve the charity fuck because she despite her outer whoroughfulness there was no inner goodness. Just got to show you never know what's inside. Exactly. It takes a charity fuck to determine

the actual. But so the term good luck fuck exists? I don't know. Does it sounds right, doesn't it? Uh, I think that's what- I think that's what you get married. We're just subliminally- You said that and it seemed to ring true to me. I mean, if you recall the advertisement for this movie,

it was a lot of like, just get Alva eating ice cream cones, you know? You haven't had it that way, but just get Alva at all. No, you know, I was like, but just Calba at all. No, I wanted to get into that. Speaking of people who were, I wanted to get into that. Speaking of characters are beautiful on the outside and the inside. Jessica Alba's character. By the way, my joke there, that was probably about as good

as Dan Vogelberg's to be. I don't know. So Jessica Alba, yeah, you know, she hasn't been in a lot of comedies, right? What was that deep-sea diving room with Pogor? I'm gonna say she hasn't been in any. Oh shoot, that wasn't a comedy though, right? Into the blue. That was the comedy. I was gonna say Blue Crash, she wasn't in there.

Blue Crash was the Kate B Bosworth surfing film about, I love about surfing girls. So not movie we were talking about. The movie I'm talking about, I was just making sure we were talking about that. Yeah, it's a better movie. I've seen it, it's better. You're right, and it sucks. Jessica Alba, she's clumsy.

That's one thing I learned in this movie. Her character's clumsy. Yeah, I mean, but she's not clumsy. It's one thing I learned in this movie. Her character is clumsy. Yeah, I mean, but she's not clumsy. It's a bad acting job. Like she has several spectacular stayed fat fall moments. I gotta say. Yeah, remains graceful throughout the movie. I don't think Jessica Albus funny in this movie. I still think she's funnier than Dan Cook. And I'll tell you one thing. We watched Mr mister brooks this is this is the second time that a actors reoccurred on the flop house dankook was in mister brooks i'll go ahead and say dankook was better as a dramatic actor

than as a comic actor in this film and he's a professional comedian so uh... just a lot of times professional stand-up comedians don't translate well you know it's fair enough. There's a certain... There's a lot of terrible Richard Pryor movies. I'm not saying that Dan Cook is not a fucking awful comedian.

But it's... But I do actually totally agree with you Dan. And Jessica Elba, not funny, really all. But yeah, like she tries, I guess I guess kind of she makes you smile. She's game Yes, yeah She'll fall she'll let she'll she'll you know trip over penguin or two Which by the way, let's let's mention that her job After you know following on the heels of next where Jessica Biel played a woman who taught Native American

children at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Jessica, you had to do this. Yes, that was her job during the movie. No, that was her job. I was referencing in the movie, that was literally her job in the movie. We have another bullshit movie job where I don't know about life. How to smile at animals. But Jessica Alba in this movie is a, you know, a penguin technician at the zoo. I don't know if technician is really the word, but-

Is this podcast a professional? I can't ask Stu to get me a beer. No, it's exactly that unprofessional. All right. But come on, I mean like that is, that is a, there's a screenwriter's, you know, invention. Like, oh, we've got a lovable, uh, you know, our female love interest has to have something cute that she does. Right. She works with penguins at the zoo. But also on the heels of March of the Penguins and a million penguin movies. What's hot and marketable right now? Right.

Dame Cook, Jessica Alba, and Penguins. How can we go wrong? It's like the scene in back to school where like, which is by the way is a hilarious movie. I know, it's true. It's a hilarious movie. The one scene that doesn't work and it makes no sense. It's a scene where Rodney Dangerfield has to do a science project and it's Rodney in a science classroom wearing a lab coat with three chimps and it's clearly not written and the writers clearly not written and

the writers clearly were like we're just gonna put Rodney Dangerfield in a room with three chimps. How can this go wrong? And I'm 100% behind them. I feel like that's it's incredible. It's the great and comic miracle that that did not work and I feel like this is the opposite of that where they just they said this what what is gonna be foolproof Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, fuck it, penguins. Yeah, I also want to point out that this came on the heels of Bob Sagitts hit Farce of the penguins. So I'm saying again March of the penguins, you put a penguin in a movie, some idiot was gonna give you some money.

And there are those two. It's the first time director. Yeah, there's those two moments. I mean, I think the penguins do get a few more laughs than our leads. I mean, there is the bit where Roger Ebert brings up the point where the penguin actually fights staying, cooks, cares, or on the crotch. I would say directly on the penis. Oh, directly on his penis.

And then the rest of the story goes, that it's a herring. Yeah. A herring? Oh, no, a her. And then the rest of the story is that it's a herring. Yep. A herring? Oh no, a herring, that makes no sense. The other bit is when the one penguin shifts on the ice and then turns around and eats it. Real penguin, real shit turns around and eats it. Which I think, yeah, I think you brought a bracelet. They were just filming and they're like, holy shit, we need to find a place in the movie.

Like this calm the goal. Well, there's the Conan shitting duck because in the shitting duck on Conan. That briefly became a national phenomenon. Right, and you know, I think, but it's indicative of the whole movie and why the whole movie didn't work. Whereas in the Conan bit, in front of the live audience,

they brought the duck out for a certain purpose. purpose. And the duck ate its own shit and everybody freaked out and then he came back and said shit eating duck and all right that it was a legitimate mistake. If you have a show with a live studio audience and something like that happens and it's awkward enough for that to happen, you can kind of bring that back and it can be like if you're shooting a movie with penguins and you're just doing nothing but shooting penguins all along, maybe a penguin's gonna eat his own shit. Wait, Rich, I don't understand. Are you saying that Good Luck Chuck was not filmed in front of a live audience? Because you're shattering the movie.

Well, I'm trying to help those amateur filmmakers out there determine between which... When to keep the shit in and when to keep it in. Which, you know, when a bird eats its own shit shit what is it humorous and when is it not right let's start wrapping this up let's talk about how the movie itself wraps up let's get into the end I want to I want to briefly before that give Rich Kudos 10 minutes into the movie there is a Asian man singing karaoke. He's singing along to I touched myself and Rich said all right I bet 20 minutes 20 minutes more we're gonna have a foul mouth granny character.

I'm off old lady. Yeah it's like the ultimate crutch. And sure enough 30 minutes into the film. We're three exactly. Did I get that close? I was that close. Yeah you were that close? I was that close. I just saw a number of cliches that were so easy that I was like, if they don't do found an awful lady, I'll be stuck. And on that note, I said that they were going to end this movie with the running down the concourse in the airport to stop Jessica Aloff flying away somewhere.

And in fact, that is how the movie ends perfectly. It's a labor-perfect ending. Ladies and gentlemen, I guess this movie came out last year. In 2007, we're still using the Stop the Girl at the Airport. Has that ever worked? Well, like in real life, for real. No, no. Wow.

I understand now why this is a trope in film the two film most in real life I wish So many women are blown away that escaped me. I remember it being not very funny in the TV show friends I feel like I've seen it not being not very funny. Well, it's not a number of things Somebody like slipping and falling on their crotch. Right. Is that me, Foni, right? I mean, there's a lot of them. I mean, there's a lot of them watching the movie airplane.

Yeah, I mean, that's pretty exciting. I didn't mean to use the word funny, but it can't work. Oh, even in a cinematic way. I mean, for as crappy as the movie Titanic is, say, it works. Someone can't deny that the movie works. Right. Is there a moment where the catch the girl at the airport then works?

Um, I think if it's in a movie that's not good luck Chuck, it could work. Yeah, but still, I can't think of it. How about you, if I'm not... Penguin biting a man in the penis? Uh, that works. Oh no. How many things that happened in the movie Good Luck Chuck? Well, what's funny if they happen in another movie? That's sort of a trick question because I feel like

this movie was sort of a catalog of bad choices. I think almost every single thing that happened in the movie Good Luck Chuck, if it happened in another movie, say even direct, say one of Mel Brooks worse movies. I'd say a number of gags if they would have happened in this movie if they happened and say Robin Hood men and tights they may have had a greater chance of success like the you went to Robin Hood men and tights yeah like that's the Mel Brooks I mean it's not fair right there's a found out that lady in blazing cells I guess you're saying like okay Robin Hood men and tights as bad as low as you're gonna go on the Mel

looks chain lost to getting a few laughs as you're gonna go on the milk looks chain Lost to getting a few laughs like you can't go to like Dracula dead loving it. You're like Okay, I want to touch on briefly the subject of my voice trying to wrap the show No, it's fine. I just want to touch on something the subject of... McCoy is trying to wrap the show up. No, it's fine. I just want to touch on something because I think it's really important, at least it's important to me and it's important to one of our ex-cohoes, Mr. Simon Fisher. And that's on the subject of shitty sex comedies.

One of the things that drew me to this movie, if you could say such a thing, I guess like being drawn to like a corpse or something. I'm not going to kill that corpse. This movie reminded me of another movie from my number of years back, a movie called 40 Days and 40 Nights. Right, just arguably my least favorite movie ever made. Well, that's the movie where Josh Hartman's character decides to give a sex for a length. He gives a immortal sin for a length. And by the way, the movie in which he gets raped by a woman at the end of the movie and gets blamed for it by Shannon Sossiman's character. And no one... I'm not a Catholic, but that's a month, right?

A length is a season on the... So it is what a Catholic is? on the so they can't sort of get yeah, yeah, and uh... and he chooses to do this because he's just having so much sex that he just can't take it anymore like he's just he's having too much sex and it's not meaningful enough and it's just like i don't know what it is but it's another perfect example of a movie where you like this hero is just too awesome. I can't relate to the awesome woodsman that is Josh Hartnick.

Right, if you start out with a problem that most people would like to have, the movie already is as strike against it. You're already angry at the protagonist. I mean, it would be one thing if they genuinely were like, they took that in mind, they're like, oh shit. It would kind of suck if a bunch of women found out that I'm a good luck magical penis, that would make them find like the person they want to marry.

It'd be one thing if it was like, okay, this is great. This is really awesome and then slowly coming to realize it, like, whoa, there's so much, there's so much of things, too much of a good thing, you know what I mean guys? And now I have magic aids. Yeah, I'm serious rug burn on my dog. So yeah, I mean I mainly need to bring up 4D and just want my G-Chat handle better. chat handle. I made that that segway simply because I want everyone know that I hate 40

days and 49. No, fair enough. And that if you see it in the video store you should rent it and then throw it away. The fine that you incur from the videos to work is nothing compared to the karmic payoff that the universe is going to be. I know I'm saying that this is going to come and bite me in the ass, but if you do that and you get fined, I will find a way to get you that money. I have similar feelings with a movie Nothing But Trouble, which I feel like is a movie where they Dan Acroid was like, I wonder what would happen if I made Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a comedy, except it's just disturbing as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Don't watch that. The prosthetics he wears are possibly the grossest things I've ever seen in the movie. So, and digital underground does a live performance.

Well, honestly, I just like to bring out this. That's the best way to move. Maybe one of the shittiest movies I've ever seen. And I'm not kidding. And I've seen some shitty movies. This movie fucking sucked. Well, it's moving that bad. And you guys have just said waited like for other shitty Now is this because like there isn't enough shitty stuff to talk about in this movie?

Or is this oh no movie is just I think I think I'm gonna be right talking about something else and frankly you're just tired of talking about it I can actually talk about how about the how about fucking Dan Cook in an extended kind of Lingo scene on a stuffed Penguin sure as the credit wrap up yeah, like you don't even go smoking in the band at bloopers the movie ends with yes Dan Cook giving Kind of lingas to a stuffed penguin and also I believe rimming the penguin too. We turn it over Well just Jessica Alba, I guess, is filming it and getting turned on because she loves penguin so much. So think about that podcast listeners. That's a nice, that's a nice final note. You're just driving there. Think about that one and this is a Dan for all things considered.

Put that in your brain. Maybe if you have a penguin fetish too, you can listen to this podcast and masturbate. I don't know. Or watch the movie. Or don't. Baby yet? Throw it away. Richard.

And also throw good luck. Check that way. Normally, this point, we go through our final judgments where we talk about whether we would recommend this movie as a good movie to watch on the laugh at, not recommend this movie at all to anyone, or say that we secretly kind of like this movie, but I think that we're all on the same page, it's really just hating this movie. So I don't even know what we need to go through that final judgment. I think it's an extraordinary train wreck

Yeah, but we're talking about this. I mean a bad horror movie or a bad action film or bad drama The beauty of that is the fact that it's bad makes it funny most of the time Sometimes it just makes it boring, but it can often make it funny. Whereas a bad comedy the way it fails is it makes you bored, or it makes you uncomfortable, or it's just unpleasant. Like there's nothing more unpleasant than someone trying to get laughs and not. I mean, certainly you as a standup.

I don't know, I've never really experienced that. Yeah. Ooh, I realized in the middle of that, my implication was that you've gone all the time. No comedian goes through anything without having bad night's terrible nights. And I brought it up earlier in the podcast, but it's true. I think that the real tragedy and what makes this movie kind of especially bad is there are moments where you can see Dan Cook, even whether you're a fan of what Dan Cook does or not. There are brief moments where you can see Dan Cook beginning to do whatever it is that

Dan Cook does. That's appealing. No, agreed. I don't think it's too much. I'd like to take Maro Ryder and Steve Martin from the jerk. All right. The Carl Ryder knew what was funny about Steve Martin and put the camera on him and allowed him to do that funny Steve Martin thing That's what that movie is, that's why it's great. Whatever it is the Dan Cook does whether you like it or not

The director of this movie put the camera on Dan Cook and then cut away from whatever it so like I wasn't even Allow me the judgment of seeing him do the thing that he may or may not do well and then say fuck you you suck which means it sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It was sucked and it sucked. It was sucked and it sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked and it sucked.

It sucked and it sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. It sucked and it sucked. fact yeah it was really really bad I mean I mean I went into this know it was gonna be bad I mean like you didn't I mean one of things I actually

green beret going to be a 9 and 69 I knew it was gonna be bad but I just didn't expect it to be this bad one of things that I was fascinated about this movie by was when they started the ad campaign and initially all the trailers focused on like the sex part like oh dang cook can't get enough pussy and that was really off-putting and everyone was like what the fuck? So I think the geniuses behind this film are like oh wait a minute people don't seem that interested and they completely switch gears and try to focus on Jessica Alba. They're like, Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba. Is it cheap money?

Isn't she gay? Yeah, she's like, Jessica Alba keeps tripping over her face. She's so clumsy. Isn't that cute? You probably want to see her in an entire movie, right? Only $10. So I thought that was really interesting, the big like, so obviously switch gears

and they're marketing your fans. And you know what? Neither of them really may have to capture the enormity of how shitty this movie is. And frankly, I have the two of them. I mentioned this multiple times during the movie. Dane Cook walks and runs really weirdly. And I don't think that's an affectation.

I think he's significantly more clumsy than Jessica Alvaro. I think he runs kind of retardedly. I think he was the kind of guy who looked good, like a Jack, like he looked like he was, like a good looking guy. Like a Jerry O'Connell, to it. Sure. But then was not athletic as a child.

And then developed this comedic thing where he would run funny and people would say you can't run, you're not, and he'd say no I'm running funny. Oh okay, and it's kind of fucked up his acting a little bit, a little bit, and like all comedians I think have a little... You're making me feel a lot of sympathy for them, right? Anybody who tries to get laughs for a living has had some fucking problems, and I'm just hypothesizing

they're trying to make I mean you know so we spent a lot of time talking about how bad this movie is we've all agreed it's bad yeah let's let's move forward man let's move let's leave shitty town far and far behind us it's receiving in the rear view mirror let's go to good town. Yeah, hello good town. population us and good movies. What are some movies? Yeah, this is the part of the show where we talked about some movies that we saw recently that we actually legitimately enjoyed. So I haven't gone first one. I'll go. Yeah, go. I actually borrowed from Stewart a silent night, deadly night, which is a movie

that's the good one. I love it too. I'm just looking. I might have done my homework wrong. Well, we're not. We're not recommending citizen cane here. Okay. We're recommending movies that we legitimately like some reason that we saw recently and better and if they are movies that are underrated or a little seen, all the better. Okay. Because why do you have to recommend a movie that everyone's going to see? No, sure. if they are movies that are underrated or little seen, all the better. Okay. Because why do you have to recommend a movie that everyone's gonna see?

No, sure. No, you're absolutely right. And Silent Hill and it is cool. I'm just surprised. Go ahead, sorry, I apologize. I've heard a lot about it, but never had a chance to see. It was not, it had not been released on DVD for a long time, I believe.

You could get like old VHS copies, but that was it. As far as I was able to ascertain via the internet, it barely got released the first time around because all these parents were incensed that there was a movie where Santa Claus was going around to act murdering people. And so, and raping, I believe. Well, yes, the evil Santa is a different Santa.

There are two Santa's. I think just whisper shit to him, but he doesn't necessarily, we don't know for sure the two are great. The mother? Yeah, it's really strange. It's very strange, there's not actually a ray of sunsets in it. I just like, well, I guess I'm going to rip your shirt up and then slit your throat. That's right. If that's right, dude, cold the cops Just do it as that every Thursday No, but I it's just it's just a really sleazy movie. It's what's how it be? It's a really sleazy movie, but as we're talking about before it's a movie that has the courage of the convictions and just goes all the fucking way and makes Leasy it's like I know what I say like a movie where an evil Santa

Claus kills this kid's parents and then that kid grows up to be a Santa Claus axe murderer. And I had a good time watching it. So if you're into that kind of thing and you're probably not, why not lock silent night? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Probably not. Why not watch Silent Night? Definitely not. I had a good time loading you borrow it. Thanks. I've seen that. That was one of the movies. I've as a kid obsessed with exploitation, flash or movies in the video store.

Sure. I was very much into that movie. You're absolutely right. It's a beam movie through and through, an exploitation movie through and through. And it is what it is. And it doesn't make apologies. Speaking of which, that might lead to my good movie. It's not a horror movie. I don't know if it is and it doesn't make apologies. Speaking of which, that might lead to my good movie. It's not a horror movie, I don't know if this is a good way to do this,

but movie I saw recently that I very much enjoyed and I was skeptical because it's a Japanese horror movie. A lot of Japanese horror movies, I feel like it's just a one-syllable movie with like a terrifying, wet, eight-year-old Japanese hero. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing, it's like it's just a one-syllable movie with like a terrifying wet eight-year-old Japanese girl. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing. It's like, I don't know how spooky eight-year-old Japanese girls are to the general population. If you get them wet, are they scarier? If the movie only has one syllable, I guess that's horrifying. I don't know. But like, I feel like I've been duked a number of times, you know, I think anything comes over from overseas if it maintains the buzz People are gonna want to play it up and say it's great. So whenever people say, oh, here's a great Japanese horror movie

I'm skeptical and this is a movie that I add into my Netflix queue It's three different movies. It's called three extremes. Oh I really like it. Yeah, okay, and it's To be honest, I didn't even see the third extreme because it was on, it's three directors that I was in. It was the And I was in the game with the Cache-Mique part.

Yeah, the Cache-Mique, I'm not a big fan of Cache-Mique. He's one of those guys that I feel like, giving some titles. He's the lead. He's the lead. Oh, audition. Oh, he's an audition? I love audition.

I love audition. I love it. I love it, my favorite one. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance.

He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance.

He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. He's a Vengeance. audition, audition is funnara. But regardless of Mika, these three guys do these three movies and I had put on my Netflix, it was very very high based on what much of the other B movies that I had liked. So it's not three extremes in particular but it's the first short called Dumplings. Absolutely blew me away.

And I won't give away the premise of what it is but the movie is called three extremes and you say okay how extreme is it gonna be let me tell you this is extreme it's deeply unpleasant it's deeply unpleasant from from a story perspective from a film perspective from a sound design perspective it is gross and disturbing and bold you know I mean if you're gonna go for sound I'd be I mean, if you're gonna go for sound, I'd be like, Deadly Night, if you're gonna go for some of these other extreme movies, I feel like there's lots of extreme things that will say their extreme, and it would be just crazy gore, which, you know, is one thing or another. But I feel like there was a Twilight Zone-esque story behind it

that was more extreme than you would find, find a really impressed me. I really enjoyed that Yeah, good stuff three extremes dumplings through chin Okay, so I'm seeing the punching good movies lately, but I don't think a single one that I've seen It has been underrated in any way. They've all gotten a lot of critical acclaim I saw like three-kity human. I was great. I saw King of Kong, which was excellent. I think it'd be better to recommend something that people might not recommend. For some reason, this good luck chuck episode seemed to focus on things that are maybe a little extreme, maybe a little exploitative. What I would like to recommend is this, well it's getting an honor of the person

who's shown it to be the first I'm not a Simon Fisher. Excellent. And it's a movie called The Story of Ricky, Ricky O, which is a, I think it's a Hong Kong action movie and it's hands down the goryest movie I've ever seen. And it's just, I just, I've seen Dead Alive. I have, it's wild in Dead Alive.

It's an insane movie. If you want to see a movie that you're just constantly baffled by how awesome and insane it is, and how gory and violent it is, Rich is writing this down. By the way, I just want to point this out. And frankly, if you like insane gore, like somebody punching somebody's head off sort of thing, I recommend watching this.

Yeah, I highly recommend watching the story of Ricky Rikio. It's amazing. Well, I think that what we've learned tonight is that the kind of guys who host a movie podcast are also the kind of movie dorks who like exploitation, horror, and extreme Asian cinema. I don't know what that is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's a fucking daincook and this fucking piece of shit got us so like, you got to see him fucking red.

Like we, all we want to see is things get torn apart. Another point about this movie and how bad it was, we continually said, you know what would make this movie better if this extreme horrible thing happened. I believe I said, if we actually saw him with his pants off fucking a great fruit, that might be better than this. Then we saw it and I was proved wrong. Well, you're a big man to admit it. Right. Then we saw it and I was proved wrong. Well, you're a big man to admit it. You were into the good thing, didn't you? No, I'm not.

It was big of you to admit that you thought it was going to be better and it turned out that it wasn't better. To all 85 of our listeners, you're saying that your comedy judgment was wrong in that case and I'm impressed. It's a little bit of a comedy judgment. I don't know there was looking for comedy. I was looking for entertainment value. Oh right. Yeah. That guy fucking had great proof. Not that entertaining. Getting the red hands.

If Hitchcock was doing it. Dada, da da da da da da. Well, on that note, the funeral march of a marionette echoing in our ears. And then the woman cooked the grapefruit for the cops. And they never knew where the murder weapon was. Thank you, Rawl Doll. Well, for the flop house, I've been Van McCoy. I've been Stuart McCoy. I've been Stuart Willigan.

I'm very happy to have been desting with you guys. It's been a lot of fun. I'm Rich Duncan. Good night. Bye. Well, that was at the light. Light off. That's some cast mood lighting. Settle in. Nice.

Podcasting. Yeah. I mean, honestly, how it starts? No, I'm not. It's, we sort of ease into it. Okay. Now you take it slow. Yeah, like, you got to spin on it.

I'm not saying it by myself. If I was the sex crazed booty.